N° 84 D E C S * 1*55

To J.CW.fl. A i w a s c o i To T H E R.C5. - n

T o TH E RECToft l

"TO TH E

R E F E C T O R Y

T»e OResoeo

T R I P U O I A T I O N

We celebrated tne s i x t h birthday of FELIX with the usual dance which puts a l l other Sat­urday evening hops i n the shade. The f i l m show featured our beloved cat and recieved the usual welcome from the audience, with the exception of the gentleman unwise enough to feature him­s e l f on the screen at the same time. The jazz band played at i t s best yet, and the bar pro­vided a popular c o l o u r f u l diversion.

To the many people who were unable to get into the dance we apologise, but i t i s better to l i m i t the number of dancers than make dancing impossible f o r everyone.

S o u t h K e h s i n g t g n " T r e a s u r e H u n t

The prize at the end of the Treasure hunt i s a ha l f b o t t l e of whisky. Read the following paragraph and f i n d the clue hidden i n i t .

The types of code incorporated i n words l i k e these are e a s i l y solved. A word nay catch you; a phrase may be heard; but i n every case the other person thinks - "Friday".

I f you have deduced the clue from t h i s sen­tence by the end of the t h i r d lecture, you w i l l be i n a p o s i t i o n to solve the f i r s t lead which w i l l appear i n Prince consort Road at 1*15 p.m.J today.

There w i l l be four other clues, a l l withir the l i m i t s Kensington Gore-Exhibition Road-Cromwell Road-Queensgate, and a t h i r t y minute s t r o l l w i l l cover and solve them a l l .

To T H E v« I N N E R ,

o r t h e t r e a s u r e n u*n

[ t h e rteeesTnta

T o T H E R.S.M.

A SPIRIT L e v e i �����������

t\ r\ (J

A H A P P Y

CHRISTMAS

.MflCHINEJ

Jfe «LL OUR � R E R D E H S

2 #• F E L I X

^Jftrof-ile : John Cox

fro:- h of the three

la s t year),

The chief reason for profiling John Cox i s that we have an excellent photograph of him pursuing vacation studies appropriate to a second yecr matheDatician.

John vras bom i n Cardiff i n 1935, and lived there most of his l i f e until he caa\e to I.C. two years ago. Hi3 l i f e before 19>3 is censored, exept that he did play the part of the short is: hamlet.

rsain activities i n the college have staunched association with the OoraauEist Party. He is one

college^ (a 0>o increase in membership on and proposed that politics should net be taken

seriously at a recent debate. As aclitor of "PhcDiiix" for the current issue, he just

took or. another union job, to DO added to his long association with various committees.

In addition to these, he has found time to attend hops regularly, and desperately considers hij.iself among the more eligible of 1.0. men since the State has refused to niaintain him while he repeats the second year of his course.

Besides bus conducting, John has had jobs as mortuary attendant, cemetary grass cutter, and other morbid occupa­tions which liave increased his conversational range consider­ably, but unfortunately curtailed his literary liberty to "Felix?,

Altogether, John is : likeable felio-.T whose exuberance and enthuaium do not let him miss Diore serious aspects ef l i f e , nee-let him ndncS the inevitable leg-nulling and baitiar- that Ids political ide.-s produce.

John Cox has a few aabitiocB i n l i f e , lie -,-ould ilke to get a room i n the Fostel, start a collective and curb inflation.

Anna Christie

By Eugene O'Neill

Presented by the Conue Players.

The Comus Players are a group of ex-members of I.C.D.S. and t h e i r f i r s t production as a group was "Anna C h r i s t i e " , performed at the P o r t c u l l i ' s Thearte, Westminster, l a s t Saturday evening. In spite of a lack of p o l i s h , the production was of a reasonably high standard and the a c t i n g was, at times, very good indeed. The three main characters, jlayed by Barbara H a r r i s , Ieuan David and Tony Osman were a l l very w e l l portrayed, leuan David's perform­ance being e s p e c i a l l y Accomplished.

The d i f f i c u l t i e s attending t h i s undertaking, p a r t i c u l a r l y the fa c t that the theatre could be aired f o r one day only meant that the sets were rather rough, but two of the three settings were quite e f f e c t i v e nevertheless.

The large audience received the play w e l l , and we hope that the Comus Players w i l l put on more plays of the q u a l i t y of "Anna C h r i s t i e . "

Phoenix

This term, Phoenix i s r i s i n g l a t e r than usual from the ashes, and i t should be on sale next Tuesday.

I t has an in t e r n a t i o n a l nature, containing a r t i c l e s by students here from abroad, and concerning vacation jaunts l a s t summer. In t h i s category, the s o c i a l l i f e of the G l i d i n g Club on t h e i r Yugoslav tour i s entertainingly w r i t t e n by the Editor-Elect of Phoenix, Vere Atkinson,

An abridged version of the Rectors inaugural address i s included (reviewed i n FELIX No.83), An account of the 'digs' s i t u a t i o n i n South Kensington gives us a new slant on the currert p o s i t i o n , and suggests a new Lodgings Bureau be set up i n South Kensington which would do more

for I.C. students than the present one i n Bloomsbury, Robin bray's a r t i c l e on motor c y c l i n g and

poetry i s amusing, and shows him to be trusted i n his p o s i t i o n on the l i b r a r y committee to buy us books worth reading.

Altogether, i t i s w e l l worth buying t h i s Edition of Phoenix, i t containing many fresh t o p i c s . To previous readers who w i l l from experience know what to skip t h i s w i l l probably leave them the most diverse assortment of a r t i c l e s since they read t h e i r f i r s t copy.

Choir Concert

The Choir of the I.C. Musical Society, ably conducted by Miss Imogen Hoist, gave t h e i r Christmas Concert i n Queen Alexandra House to a large audience on 7th. December. The Choir gave a competent f i r s t London performance of Benjamin Britten's 'Hymn to Saint Peter', being w e l l supported by the Jacques S t r i n g Orchestra. After the i n t e r v a l , they gave an excellent rendering of Bach's 'Christmas Oratorio'. The Music C r i t i c of The Times was present f o r the performance of Benjamin Bri t t e n ' s r.ew work.

IMPERIAL COLLEGE DRAMATIC SOCIETY R „ . „ ( > :

THE LADY'S NOT FOR BURNING! by C h r i s t o p h e r Fry.

CHANTICLEER THEATRE TUESDAY 13* DEC.

CLAREVILLE ST. 7 3 o P ~ . WEDNESDAY 14T H DEC.

(<W Glo'ster fU Station) THURSDAY 1 5 * DEC.

TICKETS 2/-,3/- 4/- FROM UNION. OR SOCIETY MEMB ER S.

J * F E L I X

Felix The I m p e r i a l Co l l ege N e w s p a p e r C i r c u l a t i o n 1203 �������

BILL HUDSON

This i s the time of year when we wish a l l our readers a merry vacation. This w i l l make sure that they return next term and do a l i t t l e work before t h e i r next grant installment i s paid.

Thank you to a l l the contributors to t h i s and other editions of FELIX, to a l l p o t e n t i a l contributors, and to the small number of people who help i n the production, and to the salemen who maintain us i n an even position regarding our finances.

The FELIX board at present consists of the following:

John Bramley Sub Editor Dave Marshall Sub Editar Edith Stephen Sub Editor

John Dearden Spott Editor

Ruth B i l l i n g t o n Secretary

John wicholls Business Manager Mike Rutter Production Manager.

To t h i s must be added Robin Bray, John Seeley, and Pete Southgate, who as past Editors of FELIX help considerably with t h e i r experience

LIMERICK COMPETITION

Readers had been warned, unnecessarily perhaps, of the d i f f i c u l t y of scansion i n the limerick competition. Because t h i s had been stressed, the judges looked for those limericks which achieved the almost impossible. This re r e s t r i c t e d the range considerably, and a f t e r assessing the rhymes and content matter there was l i t t l e doubt as which should be put to the audience to decide the winner.

Several of the audience were as disappointed with the standard as the judges, and made further contributions. One of these, D.M.G.'s is worth publishing:

There once was a young lady botanist Whose standard of work was the r o t t e n i s t . The reason was c l e a r , She had spent most the year, Converting an I.C. misogynist.

Among the unprintable l i m e r i c k s , Barnacle B i l l could have improved his l a s t l i n e to be an easy winner. K.Nups was the actual winner in t h i s category, though an entry on a pink t i c k e t (name available) only f a i l e d on the l a s t l i n e , which was almost repentent.

NjeJsonV C o l u m n

Students w i l l be pleased to read the following message that was telegraamed to the Queen Mother on t h e i r behalf on November 24th.

To Her Most Gracious Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother MAY IT PLEASE YOUR MAJESTY

We, the Governing Body, the Professors, the Staff and the Students of the Imperial College of Science and Technology, o f f e r our humble duty to Tear Most Gracious Majesty on the occasion of Your Majesty's I n s t a l l a t i o n as Chancellor of the U n i v e r s i t y of London.

We are mindful of the continued i n t e r e s t shown by the Royal House i n our College, ana p a r t i c u l a r l y we remember with gratitude two v i s i t s paid by Your Majesty, with His l a t e Majesty King George VI, f i r s t on 21st October, 1926, on the occasion of the opening of the Goldsmiths * Company's Extension to the C i t y and Guilds College B u i l d i n g , and l a t e r on 25th. October, 1945. when we celebrated the Centenary of the foundation of the Boyal College ef Chemistry.

We pray that God may preserve Year Majesty fo r many years to come aa Chancellor ef our univer s i t y , and o f f e r our l o y a l devotion.

Dated t h i s twenty-fourth day of November, Oae Thousand Nine Hundred and F i f t y Five. "

This document waa signed by the Rector and the Chairman of the Governing Body.

In the evening, the College waa host to v i s i t o r s from ether U n i v e r s i t i e s , p r i o r to t h a l r presentation at St. Jamas Palace to tha new Chancellor.

The Mining and Metallurgy Society's recent Vacation Work Survey amongst Miners showed that the greatest preference was f o r Canada, the second f o r the Continent (provided the fare waa paid), and the t h i r d f o r A f r i c a . The survey also revealed that 40* had worked before coming to college and that 37* had completed t h e i r National Service.

It may w e l l be asked why Guilds should not be brought into l i n e with Mines and R.C.S. and c a l l e d the Royal something. There are however d i f f i c u l t i e s . We heard from a man who was acquain­ted with I.C. some time ago, that a Royal School of Engineering had been contemplated i n the distant past. Unfortunately i t would have been more of an embarrassment than a privelege to w r i t e the Associarteship a f t e r one's name.

LATEST RESEARCH INTELLIGENCE from the Bessemer Laboratory: Ce-ioaised water tastes- marvellous! ASK FOR A 'GIN AND "D"'. "D" i s s h o r t l y coming into production at the Jassinger Booze Factory, Harrington Road.

Royal College of Science Association Dinner Last Friday the R.C^S. Association held i t s

Annual Dinner at the t r a d i t i o n a l venue, the Rembrandt Hotel. The diners and dancers included a f a i r number of present students and t h e i r guests and also several past presidents of the R.C.S. Union. The students were reassured to see that the older members o,f the Association looked pleas­antl y prosperous, and the evening, as always, was extremely enjoyable.

A highlv succesful "get together" was held i n the upper regions of S e l k i r k H a l l a week l a s t Saturday. About twenty I.C. men barricaded them­selves i n a room with a b a r r e l of Merrydown and numerous b o t t l e s . The party proceeded merrily i n spit e of the f r a n t i c e f f o r t s of t h e i r host to j o i n them. Afte r a v i s i t by the 'gentlemen i n b l u e ' a l l non-residents were obliged to leave, (apart from a f o r l o r n and forgotten body l e f t on the r o o f ) , never to return.

Those students of I.C. who are ignorant of f l u i d mechanics (2066 uncomprehending minds i n a l l ) w i l l be i n t e r r e s t e d to hear that the side pannels inside the Union door are a protection against draughts. Those who are capable of solving d i f f e r e n t i a l equations may speculate on the p o s s i b i l i t y of the draught being diverted around the s k i r t s of I.C.W.A. We w i l l watch and hopefully wait.

Brian Oggy, a second year Physics student at I.C. yesterday jumped safely from, a second f l o o r window i n R.C.S. on to the pavement. Interviewed by a D**ly M**l reporter, Brian, who i s an Idleburger said, "A f r i e n d of mine was handing out fags down there and I wanted a smoke, so I jumped"

THE I.C. JAZZ BAND made t h e i r f i r s t appearance l a s t Wednesday week,when they supported the A l f Baker band at the Jazz Hop.The hop was somewhat slow to warm up as most I.C.men s t i l l need to spend quite a long time i n the bar,before aband­oning the slow,slow,quick-quick,slow,"Do you come here often? " routine.Most,however,were enjoying themselves i n fine style well before the hop ended. Taoy again showed t h e i r very fine promise at the FELIX dance;they are led by Terry McVeigh,who was Secra*aw»f of the Jazz Club l a s t year.

ir e you wondering what to give your g i r l f r i e n d for Christmas ? Give MM-MM-M1 ! - the barley snr-ar flavoured l i p s t i c k . MM-MM-M l a s t s the whole evening through.

From "TO! CENTRAL" (Journal ef the Old Students of C & G )

"F. KAKISH ( C i v i l s 195*) reports his marriage on July 19th 1955 and that a daughter waa born on May 24th 1954."

THE CLUBMEN DANCE BAND. Book early to avoid d i s ­appointment; through Peter Goldberg c/e Union rack.

CARS FOR SALE: Apply Peter Goldberg, c/o Union Rack. 1927 7 n.p. Jowett Open Tourer. Good run­

ning order. £45 e.n.e.

1933 Bomber Pullman 7 (eater. Coed a l l *-ound condition. £85 o.n.o.

u s i � i a n s erger

TARZAW TAKES A BOW

In t h i s story have been inserted the names of 40 famous composers, The l e t t e r s of each name are i n a jumbled order but are consecutive. The anagram may be a word i t s e l f , or, more often, may be spread over one or more words or from one sentence to another. For example, TALL IS- might be shown as " I had to canceL A LIST of engagements." Punctuation i s to be disregarded.

Above the entrance to the cave waa a notice "Do not Disturb". Echoing from the cave came wailings which f i l l e d the forest and sent shivers down the spines of i t s deniz­ens, Tarzan, who had bought himself ai v i o ­l i n during one of his rare Hollywood -sponsored t r i p s to c i v i l i z a t i o n , was pract­i s i n g . At l a s t the session ended, and he l e f t the cave to face his audience, a synod of monkeys. A f a r from s i l e n t t r i b e , they had been gnaskdng t h e i r i n c i s o r s i n rage and making unpleasant r i b a l d noises while he played, and now, grabbing coconuts and any other handy m i s s i l e , bunged them at him.

F i f t y coconuts flung at close range i s a bigger barrage than most men can take but Tarzan, shewing rare presence of mind dodged a l l but one, bowed b r i e f l y and started walking slowly back to his v i l l a under the palms. Arrived there he sat brooding, rubbing h i s bruised l e g and med­i t a t i n g on the mutability of things i n gen­e r a l and the s o l i d i t y of coconuts i n part­i c u l a r . Suddenly, jungle woman Gerraaine burst into the room, "Tarzan," she c r i e d , sobbing with terror,"They've come to get us* again".

"Who?" said Tarzan, "de M i l l e or Zukor?", Advancing to the doot he saw several men approaching and, adapting h i s mode of ad­dress to su i t the occasion, stepped out and hai l e d the nearest.

"Me Tarzan", he said p o l i t e l y , although i n tones not always used by stars towards t h e i r p o t e n t i a l d i r e c t o r s . "Me and mate not available go along you topside Holly­wood. Kindly see contract clause f i v e . "

"Why, Mr.Tarzan", said the leader of group, a round l i t t l e man with a large bowler hat,"You mistake our purpose i n coming. We are not connected with the motion picture industry, I wish to en­gage you for a series of concerts i n Londot I am t o l d that you play the v i o l i n , and though a good namber of people have said that you are not i n the same class as K r e i s l e r . . . . "

"Culpable slander, s i r " , said Tarzan kindly,"the work of viporous tongues. I am much abused. My playing has to be heard to be believed. They were l i a r s . "

T a c t f u l l y the l i t t l e man stemmed the flow. "No doubt they were, but what about my offer? I cannot brook a r e f u s a l . London audiences are ready f o r someone to i d o l i z e . B r i t a i n awaits you. Think of the sensation, the incredible scenes of enthusiasm. You w i l l be heard by audiences who w i l l ex­press t h e i r emotions a thousand times more w i l d l y than any audiences here."'

Tarzan was s i l e n t , wincing as he trans­lated t h i s into undodgable coconuts. Then he took his v i o l i n and broke i t over h i s knee. The price was too much.

"I no play", he said, "us stars s t i c k to Hollywood."

� ��� (Eell �����

the

CSse Seaday morning before the s e r v i c e , the Verger noticed three members of the congregation seated i n the church. He was standing with the B e l l r i a g e r and said: " I have a problem, I wonder whether- you can solve i t ? There are three members of the congregation; the product of t h e i r ages Is 2450 and the sum of t h e i r ages equals twice your age. T e l l me, how ol d are they?"

At the end of the service, the B e l l r i n g e r retormed and said: " I can't solve your problem as I need a further clue." The Verger r e p l i e d : " I am older than any of you."

How o l d i s the Verger? !"#$% I&'(')')*(1} Medoc and St. Emilion both come from:

(a) Champagne (b) Burgundy (c) Cotes du Rhone (d) Bordeaux (e) Cognac (f ) Alsace

glasses and the

[ 3 J L t » B

drinksi (a) (b) (c) (d)

Whisky H o c k Champagne Liqueur Brandy

3) The Editor i s (a) Always dead drunk (b) Dead drunk half the

time. (c) Always semi-drunk.

(a) Honey & Water (b) Eggs & Brandy (e) Apples (d) Greengages &

Bananas (e) Whisky (f) Cherries

4) (a) Advocaat (b) Cherry Brandy (c) Drambuie (d) Herscutzischaff-

inderbenden (e) Calvados ( f ) Mead

(a) Holland (b) Scotland (c) Saxon (d) Denmark, England and Holland (e) Besabardosiniapotitzeren ( f ) Normandy

Connect the drink, the base and the place of o r i g i n .

5) Arrange i n order of dryness (a) Amontillado (b) Manzanilla (c) Oloroso (d) Mr. Prigmore

6) I f you had a drink everytime yon sucked your p e n c i l doing t h i s quiz, you would be: +,- : -unk

(b) Very drunk fc) Sober L i a r !

A F T E R A W O P I T ' S A L . R . I Q H X Y o u I

SiT D O W N I ' U . CBTj

THC M E A L f ~

THMK YOO FOR,

THE E V E N IN

F E L I X m 5

CANTO 1.

Tnere was a time when, dainty Mignonette Was rather more than l e s s affectionate . Each peeping dawn would spot some gentle boy S c u t t l i n g home, h i s footsteps charged with joy, To s t i r h i s bedclothes i n t o such array As might withstand much scrutiny next day.

This was the time when every bloke i n sight Did seem apparelled i n c e l e s t i a l l i g h t .

Alas! as a l l things pass, one dreadful night She said "No more", and blushed, and hid from sight, "Jwas thought she wished to wed and would reoover The pureness that deserves a constant lover. Ah woe! to hear sweet Mignonette aver That Immorality was not f o r her!

Within an hour the v i l l a g e slumped i n gloom: The Poet raved himself i n t o the tomb; The Scholar .jouid not s e t t l e to hie book; The Curate wore a lean and w i s t f u l look; The Butcheri with a, smile of mute appeal, Detached'a urua.%,' ana minoea i t with eo.rie veal..

When winter same,the g r i e f was not dis p e l l e d And a l l the a i r a solemn s t i l l n e s s held.

CANTO 3. Ohilde Roland to the darK. tower came wherein" ine l ovely sinner strove to banish s i n . He struck trie door: nought save the echo spoke. He twined h i s arms about a creaking oak And swung to where a window'broad and high Flung an unearthly l i g h t into- the sky.

Ye Muses nine! 3ive ear unto my ory That I may t r u l y t e l l the sight that met his eye!

CaNTO 4. mm

j a i n t A&nes's Eve- Ah b i t t e r c h i l l i t was! Tne monkey on the v i l l a g e pub sign froze, And chattered b r a s s i l y with teeth of ice To chill-shod winter birds and raw-nosed mice.

Inside the pub no cheerful blaze did gleam: A dismal candle shed a dol e f u l beam '.Yuicn guttered palely i n eaon mournful face, Disclosed on each a miserable grimace, Inen tottered to the tankards dark with dust And perished i n the pewter d u l l with rust.

A sudden crash! A young man smote tne bar And spake. His voice was firm and carried far. Many a simple maiden t h r i l l e d to hear This challenge proudly uttered, c l a r i o n c l e a r . " I ' l l come to thee ere morning, Mignonette. No force n«a ever aeld Chllde Roland yet!"

Tnen out be strode, out i n the s w i r l i n g snow. Wild eyed, the. huddled mourners watched him go.

The reader wno has knowledge of these things T i l l know that he who grabs a tree and swinge Aloft to where a window broad and high Flings any sort of l i g h t into the sky Is l i k e l y to be ratner snort cf breath, And not to breathe may oause an early death.

Childe Roland then, caught i n t n i s pretty pass, Expelled some a i r which-fell-'-upon the glass, Waere-on lay sundry points of nucleation (Ions, impurities and radiation) Which caused a catastrophic condensation. Thus when ne t r i e d to look,- Childe Roland saw A patina of frosted glass- no more.

Tne snocK was suon, Juilde Roland l o s t i.is nuid And f e l l , and died exhausted by tne cold.

The moral of Not to indul

t a l e i s clear ,.to me: lai.uOrali ty.

«

F E L I X m

Christening of Clementine Metiers U ike Stiller

INVESTORS DIVERSIFIED SERVICES, INC. Minneapolis 2, Minesota.

Dear Friend, This chain l e t t e r i s started by a man

l i k e yourself, i n the hope that i t w i l l b r i n g r e l i e f and happiness to t i r e d and bored working men

Unlike most chain l e t t e r s , t h i s does not cost you a red cent. Simply send a copy of t h i s l e t t e r to f i v e of your friends who are t i r e d and bored. Then bundle Up your wife and send her to the man whose name appears on the top of the l i s t . When your name appears on the top of the l i s t , you w i l l receive 16,748 women. Some of them w i l l be a h e l l of a b i g improvement on what you had. Have f a i t h ; do not break the chain. One man did and he got his old woman back.

Sincerely,

Tommy Manville. King Farouk. E r r o l Flynn. Ar t i e Shaw, Rubirosa .

P.S. At the date of w r i t i n g t h i s , a f r i e n d of mine had received 356 women. They buried him yesterday. It took three undertakers t h i r t y - s i x hours to get the smile o f f h i s face.

$ptijagoram

lony Werner conducting the singing at the c h r i s t ­ening, i n be»r, of Clementine. Below i s the Ola, read by Brian Lowson, written

e s p e c i a l l y f o r tha ceremony.

(Orator facoa the crowd)

Loud l e t the trumpets play On t h i s auspicious day While belching cannon bursts with r e e l i n g f i r e . Let brass on either hand Resound throughout the land To s t i r the l i v i n g youth i n every s h i r e . Now wedded with these f e s t i v e sounds divine. We thnnd 1rously acclaim the name of Clementine.

Our f a r f l u n g envoys went To Horsaondon i n Kent Where In a f i e l d of scented hops she l a y . They brought her heme i n atate-A good s i x hundredweight Of f i n e s t coal was taken on the way. And now, my fr i e n d s , ear Clementine i s bores That f i e l d of scented hops did not provide her b i e r .

(The Orator turns to the Tractor)

We a l l must ./012 to dust. And though decay and rust Consume thee at a hundredweight per annaa,

There's yet a century ' Of h e a l t h f u l l i f e f o r thee-A hundred years I Who else of u* w i l l spas 'em? And so i n praise of then we r a i s e oar song For, c a l l i n g thee immortal, we cannot be f a r wrong.

(The Orator, more q u i e t l y , again addresses the crowd)

Oh f r i e n d s , when years l i e ueaa Aboat each s i l v e r head That r i s e s now so confident . young, Then s h a l l >our thoughts, with sart Dwell on these e a r l i e r yeara And half-forgotten g l o r i e s s h a l l be sung. Then s h a l l each t a l l the youngest of h i s l i n e The story of the day we christened Clementine

(The Orator, b o t t l e i n hand, turns f i n a l l y to tha t r a c t o r )

The Royal School of Mines Regales no f r i e n d with vines: In English bear we celebrate thy fame. Roll through the yeara to be In splendid rajeaty, And, growing e l d , b r i n g honour to our same. We wish thee wall; aay fortunes grace be thine. Now, washed i n foaming ale, we name thee Clementine.

1 2 3

y////t

4

5

6

CLUES.

Across

1. 4o(a2 + a*)

Down

2. (a+b+o)3

J. a! + ej + ol 4, ^ac reversed

6. a° + o a :

-Find a, b, o, a l l numbers being integers-, and positive.

_ f l X U O TRIBE AWARDED FOR

' TWBEST SHORT ARTICLE FOR

"•RITE TOUR ARTICLE DURING THE CHRISTMAS VACS IK TIME FOB THE CLOSING DATE: IST FEB.

FIRST JKAR aTUDEHTS MOTE: TOUR ARTICLES PARTICTHSLTTJELCOME! THOSE SUBMITTED WHICH ARE HOT PRINTED HILL BE RETURNED WITH A HELPFUL CRITISISM. THE PRIZE IS TO ENCOURAGE THE WRITING OF SHORT, INFORMAL ARTICLES ENGINEERING INTEREST (LONGER AND MORE TECHNI­CAL PAPERS COMPETE FOB THE LINKS CLUB ZEIZX

l l a s F

F E L I X 7

S O M N A H B U L A T I O N S U P T H E GREEK

The circumstances wider whioh I am n l t i a g this are rather strange,and i t i s true to say that until five minutes ago I had no intention or indeed no necessity of setting dowm on paper the strange adventure which within the space of one week has put ten years in age on my appearance.

Perhaps I had setter explain the reason for my sitting outside a small oave on a bleak winds«apt moor,vriting a story ,whioh i f i t is to have a conclusion w i l l Just pass off as one of a thousand unexplained stories.Xet i f there is no conclusion, the reader must draw upon his OWE imagijs-ation to visualise the possible fate whioh has prevented »e from writing i t .

Just one week ago I had a rather strange dream,whioh although rather meaningless the following morning,negani to have some small significance when the same dream visited ray slumbers the next night. Once again the bright morning STBS-light streaming in through iny window helped to clear away the strange vision of the dark hours.During the day I could not prevent my thoughts from turning to the dream whioh had haunted my slumbers on the last two evenings. On the third night I went to bed with mixed feelings of curiosity and fear^As the cold November wind swept down from the moors and a distant dock struck two my curiosity "as satisfied whilst my fear was renewed with violent easaggera-tioni,

* I am walking along a l i t t l e used track across a part of the moor unknown to myself^and rounding a snail rise I see a anall oponing set in,a low line of dark orags. I have no control over the intense curiosity whioh leads me to explore the dark passage which enters into the clifff.. I reach a certain, point in the passage and the dream fades. I wake up and find myself oold and shivering in the solitude of my own dark roomtlFbr 3even nights I have been the victim of this frightening visitation. Saoh night I have been led further along the passage,and by the increasing fear within me I know that the meaning of my dream is shortly to be revealed^and I know that the secretcis contained at the end

of the passage.By my fear I know that whatever I find w i l l be beyond the sooiety of earthly beings.

Tb-day is Sunday and in order to escape from the veil of fear that shrouds my house,I have motored out onto the moors. Leaving the car parked off the road, I set out aoross a deser­ted part of the moor unknown to myself .With sudden horror I discovered that the path I was BOW on was the dreaded path of my dreanuBram on by the same irrepresible urge I experv ienoe in my dream, I continue until the path ends. The small c l i f f that confronts me is to familiar by now,and I realise that my mystery w i l l shortly be solved - i f only by myself. It has just oocured to me that before I enter from the light into the dark I w i l l set down the few words you have just read.At least you wi l l know part of my. story. Uhe fear whioh has haunted me fo™ the last week has gone, and I am left only with the desire to write a conclusion to what I have already written.Soon i t wi l l be dark and so I must hurry.Already the storm clouds are gathering,and as I lay down my pea the f i r s t drops of rain start to f a l l .

Two winning versea from the 'FELIX* Limerick competition.

There once was a young lady botanist Of limerick lines is the rettenist That1s ever beam set. I'm ready to bet

II will bloody seen be the forgettemist.

Watt A , Wereswsrth

There ones was a young lady botanist At numerous suiters she shot and missed When offered addresses She baldly confesses

"Ne thanks boys, I've already gat a l i s t . *

A.C.Neville

"Typewriters' Chr is topher Sholes wax th«

ffret mop to produce a really workable typewi iter. In 3456

he cont racted the f i r m of E- Rem­ington and Sons fo r i t s m a n u ­f a c t u r e 7 and now the name is a household word . We buy7 swell l o a n and r e p a i r not onJy Rem-/ mgton* . but a l s o many o t h e r m a k e s . We have s p e c i a l i t e r m s f o r s tudents and our name te

T U C K E R O F 33687 C R O M W E L L ROAD 7 S-W-

MACHINES HIKED WEEKLY OR MONTHLY

Forthcoming D1 versions

Friday. December 9th. T^CTbarDer snop: 178 Queensgate. Open 8.30-5.30. Art E x h i b i t i o n : Committee Room A, 3rd f l o o r Beit

B u i l d i n g - by l i f t . Film Society: 'SHAW' and 'KEIOHBOUBS• 6.45p.m. Guilds Carnival: PAWNEE POTLATCH* Photographic Seeiety: "Colour Photography for Beginners" by Charles Hynds, A.I.B.P., A.P.P.S. Botany Lecture Theatre. 5.15 P.M.

Saturday. December 10th. Lest day of the Art E x h i b i t i o n .

Monday. Decewder 12th. Come Carol Singing with P.,CM. and Q.E.C. Meet i n

Union archway, Prince Consort Road at 7.00p.i B.C.S. Smoking Concert. 7.30p.m. Ayrton H a l l .

Tuesday, December 13th. HaTTDLnhsr, "Evening Dress,

Wednesday,. December 14th. Natural Hlstorv Society Christmas Party.

Ayrtcn H a l l . Tickets 2/6, , 30p.m.

Tuesday 13th. Wednesday _ l .C.B.S. ' T M ! LAW 1§ NOT W R WmmNC"- CKrTatophor

Fry. See advertiement page 2.

Friday December 16th. DTSMISSI

52 fttjtistmas tftougfjts of a ProbntfiftjHger M by a Nelson Emeritus.

Unfortunately the Christmas 'vacation' i s (almost with me again. Once again I have to face that per­iod which f o r me i s colourless except f o r C h r i s t ­mas morning. Father i s g i v i n g me a new s l i d e r u l e t h i s year. Not very long a f t e r T return from the b i t t e r grind of t h i s 'holiday' comes - exams.' i f the others don't work l i k e me and my f r i e n d s , ws say that they w i l l never get through,

tt r e a l l y i s not f a i r to be disparaging about people l i k e me who t r e a t our studies with utmost IMMBMII, Be s h a l l be the leaders; sf the nat­ion. I t was with groat d i f f i c u l t y that I was able to f i n d time to write t h i s a r t i c l e f o r FELIX, but i t i s about time somebody understood our point of view. Perhaps I w i l l buy the paper f o r once and see what i t i s l i k e . Of court*, I weant read i t during the f i r s t lecture because Professor F i n k l e -s t e i n sometimes makes mistakes on the blackboard and be would probably be disappointed i f I did not po^nt thee) out to him. I wonder i f he would think I was 'creeping* i f I sent him a Christmas card t h i s year.

Nat u r a l l y , I can a f f o r d te do things l i k e t hat. I have h a l f of my grant l e f t over t h i s > «r«. I am wondering what to give my friend* * i tions f o r Christmas. However, I must not be ! rash as Professor F i n k l e e t e l n Bays that we f i l l need s i x new textbooks f o r h i s subject next half-session. I though that «y r e l a t i o n s would be very impress­ed i f I sent them the most expensive college Chr­istmas cmrda. They are very interested i n my c o l ­lege career - i n f a c t Uncle George says that we have a budding E i n s t e i n i n the family. Personally I think he i s going a b i t too f a r . I might iecooe

Sl e c t u r e r at I.C. I t would be fun to get my own

aek on those boisterous rude fellows who object te me working on Wednesday afternoons.

In eemeluslon then, may I wish th# readers of t h i s hsaible a r t i c l e a suecer-fwl v»e*u»T» :ind a Happy Christmas. I hop* that they w i l : c«e back afterwards with a better understanding of OUR

POINT OF raw.

morning coffee* lunch • tea

J A N E B R O W N 9te 6

77 EXHIBITION ROAD.

S P O R T S N E W S R U G B Y C L U B R E V I E W The season has now almost reached the h a l f ­

way mark and I.C, have every reason to f e e l proud of the club's r e s u l t s to Bate.

The I s t XV has won 10, l o s t 3 aad d r a m 1 ef i t s matches, scoring 208 points witu 77 against. The forwards are now playing w e l l together, and owe much to the enthusiastic leadership of the captain Brian Corbett. The backs are sound i n attack and defence, despite some e c c e n t r i c i t y at outside h a l f .

I.C. have reached the semi-final of the University Cup by two magnificent v i c t o r i e s over powerful opponents i n King's (24-0) and Royal Vets (22-0). In the match against Vets I.C. faced a c r i s i s when Dingle was injured early i n the match. However Palmer acquitted himself with d i s t i n c t i o n at the unaccustomed p o s i t i o n of scrum h a l f , and the team was able to r a l l y to a f i n e v i c t o r y . They meet Wye i n the semi-final , and l a s t Saturday beat them 9-0 i n a " f r i e d d l y " game. Barnes scored two t r i e s and Lewis kicked a penalty. The game was otherwise undistinguished except f o r an Impassioned appeal by the I.C. captain "to keep up with the play"- directed not at his own forwards but at the referee.

For the f i r s t time I.C. are running s i x regular teams, a noteworthy milestone i n the club's f i n e h i s t o r y . A l l the teams have good records. The 2nd XV have achieved t h i s despite the insobriety of "their leader. The A XV took Wye by storm i n more ways than one, and have discovered a new b r i l l i a n t wing three-quarters to supplement the talent they already boast at scrum-half.

I. C A . F. C

w D. I» Piaster. Pts. a i d 5 1 2 127 45 A 5 1 2 86 61 ExA 4 0 4 154 68 B 6 0 1 H64 51 C 4 0 2 114 48

c 5 9:;<=>?>@ iul at C$6uik

last Saturday the SwimnxlrLg; CluV travelled down) to South­ampton for a match against the University. Shi* la the .. firsts time that the Club has travelled so far for a r&ato&e

l a the swinaning, Clark, and Mb? Chesney took first, and' sec­ond placets in. the 100 yards freestyle, giving I.C* a good • start. The 100 yards breaststroka yielded an excellent win, /by Biggs of Southampton, with Robinson of I.C. _iot far 'behind*

In the oackstroke, Clark gained 1st. place for I*C. At-that time, I.C* only had to win one of the two relays, to win the match. Southampton vron the f i r s t , and I.C*. had to swim their "best to win the freestyle relay by half a yard.

The final result was: I.C. 21 pts. : Southampton: 17 pta* In the water-polo matoh Southampton started off wittei two

quick goals from the half-way mark before I.C* had ffoirad their "sea legs". The score at half-time was for Southampton

Int In the second half, I.C* played their best polo this _ season, "bringing the final score to 5-5 • I*C« goal-scorer® were Clark(2), Lampard, Hoy and Cowen*

last Thursday the secsarad team "beat London. Hospital Shads* i n a polo match at Bethnal t^een Baths.

Squash Club out of U.L. Cup With one match yet to be played the dub can look

back on a very successful terms squash. The fi r s t team have played eleven matches, winning ten and losing one. The one defeat was against Westminster when the final score after a hard match was 3-2.

This fixture against Westminster was also played as a tournament match being part of the first round of the U.L. 3 a-side championship. Here again the team was unfortunate the match being decided against us only in the Fifth game o f the last tie.

Since that match the team nave been victorious against Rings College and University College Hospital.

The draw is now being made far the Whiteley Cttp tournament. Al l members of the ciLub are invited to play and those wishing to do so should contact an offioiaT of the club or sign their name on the l i s t provided cm tho quash club notioe board.

Would those dubs who would lUce their activities reported iM "Felix? pleas* send i» their reports to the Sparta Editor by the Saturday night,( or- Sunday morning at the latest) before "Felix" is on sale. This heartfelt plea is issued jointly by the Sports M, and a friend of his.

The 1st XI have had mixed fortunes i n the l a s t few matches. A resounding 5-1 defeat by L.S.E. in the league gave our players mach to think about i n the way of constructive play and kaennesa in tackle • However we seemed to have learnt the lesson by the following Saturday Nov. 26th when Corinthian Casuals I I I were beaten 5-2. A very d e f i n i t e improvement i n the standard of play was noticed i n t h i s game and the half backs and forwards were swinging the b a l l about and making use of the long pass down the middle. The l a t t e r l e d to two goals being scored by G.S.Green, l a s t years captain, who has recently made a very welcome return to the f i r s t team.

On Saturday Dec. 3rd. the 1st and 2nd Xl's entertained Reading University and enjoyed two very keen matches. The f i r s t team drww 3-3 i n a game which was f u l l of t h r i l l s and good goals even though the m i d f i e l d play was generally scrappy. The second XI went down 2-3, a f t e r scoring the f i r s t two goals, In a game they claimed they should never have l o s t .

We apologised to the members of the 4th XI affected by the recent cancellations . On a l l but one occasion t h i s has been caused by lack of support f o r t h i s team. Next Saturday the 1st team play t h e i r o l d r i v a l s Goldsmiths i n the second round of the cup. Any supporters w i l l be most welcome i f only to drown the s.rieks of those feminine Goldsmith's aspirants on the touchline.

C R O S S - C O U N T R Y Of late, the fortunes of tha club have beeia mixed.

Ehe second team have beeai beaten "by Old Brentwoods, and Rom­ford, whilst their matoh nine days ago waa declared void, owing to several of the runnars losing their way fa th* fog.

A fortnight ago, the f i r s t team, with six men away representing the University, lost to U.C, put just managed to beat Kings. The following Wednesday their matoh with Q.M.C, was Qanaselled, because of fog. ; i last. Sa-torday's race, however, raised the esEufc's mor­ale and the hopas for the Championships. Conway and Meller ram vary well to gala themselves places i n the fi r s t team far the ""Champa". With good packing "fcry the other members of the team, the raoe was won easily, the overall results being: (i) I.C. 1st. ( i i ) Raynes Park, ( i l l ) Ranelagh Harriers. Civ) King's College 2nd. (v) I.C. 2nd. • • ................ , ...

R.S.M. Cross-country T r i a l .

A unique a t h l e t i c event took piae* o_s riieaday Mar. 29th. daring the i n c h bre.i.'. Same twenty mne#$ terns* out t . mm reamd ami lap of the road r e l a y course i n Hyde Park. Kg", ravers am*. Mr. Tony Werner, R.S.M. Vice-President was l a s t im approximately doable the winner's time, having omvvaatered s o c i a l obstacles at Marble Arch, Moat of t h a t , who turned out are s t i l l s t i f f f-oa t h e i r e f f o r t s .

H O C K E Y C L U B

Since the previous "Pelix" report the first eleven, has suffered a series of" ujii'ortuaata defeats, the aoat important betas; in the second round of the UVI» cup. Drawm against U.(X with five UnivBjraity players, I.O. played with great grit and draierndnaticti and held this strong aids to a 0-1 defeat. If the teas reproduce this spirit in future games, then results are sure to improve. The other two teams continue to play patohily.

FIRST TEAM FIXTURES

Assn. float ball % •comber: Second Round U.B. Cup.

T Goldsmiths College. Away. 14th December:

w Westminster Momp&ial. away.

Cross Country Cl«b>

loth Decembers ' U.L. Chaapianahipa and Inter­

collegiate Championships- BeeHampton

Squash Club8 TEiS Decembers

Rugby Footballt loth Oeoeaben

Hockeys ssTolF-December:

• University College. Away,

r University Vamdals. Beate.

1st Eleven v Mortem. Away.

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