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THE COACHING INSTITUTE | Credentialed Practitioner of Coaching
Copyright © The Coaching Institute | All Rights Reserved | 04/02/2014
1
HOW TO SET AND ACHIEVE GOALS
INTRODUCTION
There are two skills that make or break a person’s success in life. Firstly the ability to set goals and
secondly the ability to create and maintain motivation in order to do whatever it takes to achieve
those goals.
In the first half, we will look at the fundamental building blocks of good goal setting and give you a
structure to set your own goals and enable your clients to do the same.
The dictionary definition of a goal is “the aim or object towards which an endeavour is directed and
the terminal point of a journey or race”. Setting goals means that you have clear objectives and
focus all your attention and effort towards achieving them. Goals are to be written as positive
statements that can be broken down into tasks, which are to be completed on a daily basis.
WHY ARE GOALS IMPORTANT?
The best way to demonstrate the importance of goals is through the Yale University study, which
was initially conducted in 1953. All graduating students were interviewed and in transpired that only
3% had actually set goals and written them down. Twenty years later, those 3% were worth more
than the 97% put together. And more importantly, they proved to be in better health, happier and
in better relationships.
As we know, the average person spends more time planning a holiday than planning their lives. Life
just seems to happen to most people and without clear goals the wind can take them anywhere,
dispersing all energy and effort.
Steven Covey writes in his book: 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE “to begin with the end
in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you
are going, so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are
always in the right direction.”
In your work as a life coach you have the opportunity to enable your clients to set some powerful,
compelling goals and help them to create steps to achieve them.
However, in order to do that, you must act as a role model. If you want to inspire others to achieve
their personal goals and dreams, you must work towards achieving yours. Are you setting your own
goals? How effective are you at achieving them? How committed are you to your goals? Do you
have a daily action plan that moves you towards your goals step-by-step, day-by-day? Do you loose your enthusiasm or are you on top of your game?
If you ask most people about what they would like out of life, they will most likely
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Copyright © The Coaching Institute | All Rights Reserved | 04/02/2014
2
tell you what they don’t want. It is the law of attraction that tells us that what we focus on is what
we get to the exclusion of everything else. Because the unconscious mind cannot process any
negative information, it works towards achieving everything we focus on regardless of our desire to
receive this.
For example: studies have shown that the amount of accidents in a factory with signs saying:
“Careful don’t slip” is far greater than factories with signs saying: “Watch your step.”
If you have ever been pregnant, you may have noticed that the number of pregnant women in your
environment, on the roads, shops and trains has suddenly increased astronomically. Or if have ever
had a broken arm, you may have noticed lots of other people with broken limbs. Or if you have ever
wanted to by a black Mercedes or other model, you have suddenly seen them everywhere. All these
examples show us the law of focus in action.
PRELIMINARY TASK
What You Focus On Is What You Get
Set ourself some homeplay to observe certain things. Perhaps red lady’s handbags, or green cars, or
people wearing scarves. Choose any object and focus on this for a few weeks.
You can do this with your partner or a friend. If they were focussing on green cars, ask them after a
while how many blue cars they saw.
Have a think about your findings in relation to goal setting. What have you learnt from this
exercise?
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Copyright © The Coaching Institute | All Rights Reserved | 04/02/2014
3
REVIEWING AND CREATING GOALS
OVERVIEW
1. Brainstorm all things you want to do, have and be.
2. Why do you want each one of those things?
3. Identify the top priorities of your life.
4. Will your goals enrich your top life priorities?
5. Are your goals good for all concerned?
6. What are your top ten goals? Are they short, medium or long term?
7. Expand on the purpose of your top ten goals.
8. What are you prepared to do to achieve these goals?
9. Identify the action steps to be taken.
10. Rocking Chair Test.
11. Create a time frame, because goals are dreams with deadlines.
TASK ONE
This task is best done over a nice cup of coffee or wine even and perhaps in your favourite spot in
nature or at the beach. Allow plenty of dreaming and thinking time for each stage.
Brainstorm on a piece of paper all the things you want to do, have or be.
What characteristics do you wish to have?
How do you want to feel on a daily basis?
How are you perceived by others?
What are you doing on a daily basis?
What special things would you like to do?
What would you like to have?
Where would you like to live?
Write down absolutely everything, even the things that just pop into your head out of nowhere, or
the ones that may seem ridiculous. This is brainstorming and heart-storming time. Keep going until
you have absolutely nothing left. Nothing.
Keep working on this list for one more day. Keep adding things to it that just pop into your head.
You have given your unconscious mind permission to dream and it will keep giving you ideas. Review
your list after 24 hours and move to Task Two.
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TASK TWO
Now write down why you want each of the things on your list and why it is a must.
Make sure you state your purpose in the positive, not the negative.
1. What will having, being or doing those things give you?
2. Why is being that person important to you?
3. For what purpose is doing those things meaningful to you?
4. What will having those things give you?
Create a separate list for all the items from your list for which you cannot answer the following: I
want this, because...” Cross them of your main list. You may be able to find a reason for them later,
if not delete them.
TASK THREE
What are the most important areas of your life? In our Manual on Beliefs and Values, we created
the Wheel of Life Exercise. What are the areas in your life that currently receive your time priority?
Are they the ones who are also most important to you?
Below is a generic list that you can change by adding or deleting areas that are important or not
important to you.
Have a think about and write down what success in each one of your personalised areas means to
you.
Career / work
Partner / significant other
Friends
Social life
Family
Health
Emotional well-being
Fun and recreation
Spiritual life
Growth
Physical environment (your surroundings, your quality of life and location)
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My No 1 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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My No 2 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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My No 3 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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My No 4 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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______________________________________
My No 5 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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My No 6 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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My No 7 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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My No 8 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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My No 9 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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My No 10 Area is:
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Success in this area would be…
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Copyright © The Coaching Institute | All Rights Reserved | 04/02/2014
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TASK FOUR
This is the time to scrutinise your goals. Go through each item on your list that you want to be do or
have and ask yourself:
1. Will being, doing or having this item develop areas in my life that are important to me?
2. Will this make me a happier person?
3. Will this improve my financial situation?
4. Will this benefit my health?
5. Will this improve my relationship with myself and my friends and family?
Give each goal a tick every time you can answer any one of the above five questions with a yes. Add
up the score and create a new order for your goals based on that score.
This process will give you greater clarity around what is important to you.
TASK FIVE
Time to filter the goals even further and identify which goals will ultimately serve and support you
and your immediate environment. Ask yourself with each goal:
1. Will the achievement of each goal be in the best interest of all concerned or will it harm anyone?
2. Will each goal move you closer to your overall objectives?
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TASK SIX
Number your goals in order of priority. Write a separate list with your top ten goals.
Divide your top 10 goals into sub categories as follows:
1. Short-term goals to achieve within the next 1 – 4 weeks.
a. Example: getting your will sorted out
b. Example: to contact old friends
c. Example: to visit your parents
2. Medium term goals to achieve within 1 -12 months.
a. Example: becoming dept free
b. Example: reaching your ideal life c. Example: Finishing your studies
3. Long-term goals to achieve within the next 1 – 10 years or beyond.
a. Example: Move to a different city
b. Example: Have a sea change
c. Example: become financially independent
4. Ongoing goals that require daily actions.
a. Example: you may wish to read one hour every day to improve your knowledge of business
b. Example: you may wish to practice the guitar every day to relax your mind.
c. Example: you may wish to maintain a healthy body. This goal requires daily action and needs to
be broken down into specific action steps such as:
i. Drinking 2 litres of water every day
ii. Spending time outdoors every day
iii. Going to a yoga class three times a week
iv. Eating healthy food etc.
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TASK SEVEN
Write a more comprehensive Why, Purpose and Reason for each of your top ten goals. Associate
into each goal and write about each goal in the first person as if you had to sell it to someone.
Make sure your reasons are compelling to you and have a positive emotional charge.
This process may take up to one week to complete, it’s important that you take your time over this
and encourage your clients to do the same, as you guide them through this exercise.
The reason why this is important is because people fail to achieve their goals if they don’t fully
explore why they are important to them. This means that the Why is far more important than the
How. In fact it counts for 90% in the process of achieving your goals.
TASK EIGHT
Write two to-do lists for each one of your top ten goals.
1. What am I prepared to do to achieve this goal?
2. What am I required to do to achieve this goal?
Write down everything you can think of. Don’t worry or assess whether or not you are going to do it.
This is just a ‘green light’ thinking session. Make sure you are fully associated into your goals and
clear on your reason why you want to achieve this.
TASK NINE
Create a list to answer the following questions:
1. What do I need to learn?
2. What do I need to understand?
3. What skills will I need to develop?
4. What actions will I need to take?
5. Who are the people that can help me?
6. Who are the people that I can work for or with?
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TASK TEN
The Rocking-Chair Test:
Visualise yourself being 90 years old, or even 120 years old, whatever works for you. Visualise
yourself sitting in your rocking chair looking back over the magnificent life you’ve lived. Fully
associate into it. Now write down all the amazing achievements you have celebrated, all the things
you have gathered around you, all the things you have seen, all the lives you have touched, simply
by being yourself and by living your dreams. Write down the complete story of your life. Take as
long as you need to fill several pages of writing.
TASK ELEVEN
“GOALS ARE DREAMS WITH DEADLINES” Diana Sharf Hunt
Goals stay in the dream landscape of the mind unless they have clear measurable action steps and
time frames. As long as you have a very clear purpose and reason why, the how becomes easy to
do, because your mind will be focussed on the rewards of achievement.
Create a time frame for your action points.
What does each end point look like?
How can you measure?
When will you have achieved it?
You may choose to guide your clients through this process especially if they have had trouble
achieving goals in the past. There is a beautiful acronym that can help you in this process: GREAT.
Simply think about creating Great Goals!
G – Gather Gather your thoughts and ideas
R – Review Review why these goals are significant and important
E – Evaluate Evaluate your goals against your values and wheel of life
A – Action Determine what you will do to achieve them and by when
T – Timed Decide upon when you will take action. Schedule it into your diary.
There are many books that have been written on goals and each author has their own technique
and formula. As a coach it is important that you have a broad understanding of the different
techniques so that you can find the way that best works for you and recommend different
techniques to your clients depending on what will work best for them. And remember: always walk
your talk!
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THE UNDERLYING PRINCIPALS OF GOAL SETTING
1. Set Goals that are Congruent with your Values.
Without congruency, goals can never be achieved. This means that you must make a special effort
to ensure that your clients’ values are aligned with and support their goals.
2. Write your Goals Down
Unless goals are written down, they stay in a fluid dream world that is forever changing and will
metamorphose and disappear. The specificity that is created in the act of writing enables the
unconscious mind to actively work towards achieving those goals.
Capturing goals can be done in a variety of ways: drawing, vision boards made out of picture
cuttings and writing goals on a card that you carry with you.
Keep your goals at the forefront of your mind every day, this is the only way to achieve them. If you
stop focussing on them, they will disappear.
3. Review your Goals Regularly
Read your goals every morning and every evening without exception to make it a habit. Visualise
each goal for a minute or so, associate into the feelings of having achieved it. See yourself as the
person you will have become.
Review your original list on a weekly basis. Make changes of priorities as they occur, so everything is
in alignment, your writing, your intention and your actions.
Make sure that you celebrate the achievement of each goal and replace it with the next step in
order to continue your growth and development.
4. Make your Goals Specific
This is an important step when eliciting your clients’ goals. Help them to be specific and break
things down into smaller chunks if necessary.
Travelling around the world is not specific enough. How long for? Which countries do you want to
see? When would you like to go? When will you start your research? What needs to happen before
you are ready? Etc.
5. Express your Goals in the Positive
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The unconscious mind works towards the achievement of any goal, whatever you focus on, it will
give you more of.
Negative goals:
1. I want to loose weight – the unconscious mind will give you more weight.
2. I want to stop smoking – the unconscious will focus on smoking
3. I want to be less stressed – the unconscious will continue to present you with stressful situations
Positive Reframe:
1. It is 1st December and I am my ideal weight of 60 kilos. Or: I am getting closer to my ideal
weight of 60 kg every day.
2. I now enjoy the fitness and health of a non-smoker
3. It is 1st December and I am enjoying a balanced life
Expressing your goals in the present tense and the positive will conspire to the success of your
unconscious mind.
6. Capture your Goals in the Imagination
Involve all the senses in the creation of tangible vivid and clear goals. Ask your clients: what do you
see? What are people saying around you? How do you feel? What are you telling yourself as a
result of having achieved this goal?
7. Make sure your Goals are Measurable
How will you know that your goals have been achieved? How will your clients know? How can you
measure the outcome? Weight is clearly measurable. Feeling better or creating better relationships
with people may need to be broken down to create a clear picture.
John Whitmore differentiates between end goals and performance goals.
End goals are looking at the end product or final objective. For example: to turn over $500, 000 per
year. This is not entirely in your control because external influences play a part. However, a
performance goal is entirely in your control because it focuses on the behaviour your need to
exhibit in order to set yourself up successfully to achieve the end goal.
8. Goals must be a Challenge
If goals are easily achievable they don’t make your client grow. Growth is one of the core human
needs and if it is missing in a client’s life, they will be bored and unfulfilled. Give them permission to
dream, turn the dreams into ambitions and those ambitions into challenging goals that help them to
step into their true potential.
9. Create Achievable Goals
Goals must be a stretch, yet realistic and achievable nevertheless. If an overweight male in his
forties desired to win the gold medal in the next gymnastic Olympics, he would fail regardless how
much work he’d put into achieving this.
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10. Create a Clear Time Frame
Create a clear time frame of beginning and end dates for each goal as well as markers along the
way. If you want to achieve your ideal weight in 13 months time, where do you need to be in one
month? This will help you stay on track.
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11. Set Goals for all Areas of your Life
Without goals in all areas your life, your life will be out of balance. It may cause you to avoid your
family, overlook the needs of your spouse and ignore your health.
12. Ensure your Goals are Legal and Ecological
Make sure that your goals are good for you, good for those close to you and good for the greater
good of society. Refrain from coaching clients who want to achieve immoral or illegal goals.
SET SMART, PURE AND CLEAR GOALS
Smart, Pure and Clear are three acronyms that help you remember the main principals of setting
any goals. In order to create successful outcome goals must be:
SMART
S – Specific
M – Measurable
A – Attractive, As if now
R – Realistic
T – Timed
PURE
P – Positively Stated
U – Understood
R – Relevant
E – Ethical
CLEAR
C – Challenging
L – Legal
E – Environmentally Sound
A – Appropriate
R – Recorded
CONCLUSION
What we have covered so far:
1. How to set goals that are connected to your core values
2. You set your own goals for your compelling future
3. Why goal setting is so important in the creation of any success 4. How the unconscious mind works and how you can use this to your advantage
5. Acronyms and Principals that are essential to set goals that can be achieved.
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TASK TWELVE
List the twelve principals you must remember in order to set goals and explain the reasons why.
No Principal Reason why Important
1
2
3 4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
16
PART TWO: MOTIVATION GROW MODEL
In Manual 2 we discussed the GROW Model in great detail. Use the GROW Model in your
coaching sessions to help you identify goals with your client, by exploring each part:
G – Goals
R – Current Reality around the situation
O – Options that are available to the client
W – Way Forward. What actions will the client take?
Always set a clear goal before moving into the exploration of the current reality. In this way, you will
focus on what the client wants instead or what may not be possible based on limitations in the
current thinking.
Ask questions to ascertain your client’s commitment, passion and purpose for the goal. Goals will
only be achieved if the commitment, passion and purpose of 7 out of 10 or more. Ask your client to
find ways to motivate themselves in order to stay on track.
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MOTIVATION
Motivation is the fuel on the journey towards your goals. It’s about drawing out what is already
inside by keeping a clear vision of the purpose of every goal.
Sometimes, even that is not enough to keep us going. Have you ever been in a situation where you
really didn’t want to leave the warm home to go out into a cold winter’s night and drag yourself to a
meeting, but once you got there, you were glad you came?
Remembering those incidences will help you to get off the sofa next time around, when motivation is
not forthcoming instantly.
THE PAIN AND PLEASURE PRINCIPAL
We do more to avoid pain than we do to create pleasure. Building on this principal Steven Covey
says that “satisfied needs do not motivate us, only unfulfilled needs do so.”
This explains why our good intentions after a motivational seminar or even an inspiring conversation
with a friend only temporarily drive us into action and then the drive disappears. Only if a situation
is really uncomfortable or painful will most people continue to be motivated to change it.
Brendan Nichols says that the enemy of a great life is a good life for precisely this reason. People
don’t see the need to change if things are going along nicely, but they miss an opportunity to create
an outstanding life.
How can we overcome this challenge?
If you can find a way to increase the discomfort and pain of a good situation, you will help client’s
who consistently fail to follow through. Sell your client their own ideas by affirming and validating
them.
A client who consistently fails to achieve goals has generally not enough discomfort around their
current situation and therefore can see no tangible gain for achieving the desired goal.
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HOW TO BUILD MOTIVATIONAL DISCOMFORT
Rocking Chair Test
Once you have a great level of rapport with your client, you can ask them to imagine themselves in
the rocking chair if they don’t change anything or achieve their goals. And then get them to imagine
themselves in the rocking having achieved every single dream. This will create leverage for change,
because it increases the level of discomfort around the current situation.
You can also ask the following questions to drive this home even more:
1. What happens if you don’t take action?
2. What happens to your health if nothing changes?
3. How will that affect every area of your life, your children, your spouse, and your relationship with
your friends?
Make sure that the picture is so dire, dismal and disgusting that it forces the client into action.
5-Year Future Pace
In blocks of five years, paint the picture of where they would be if nothing changes and they do not
achieve their goals. Then let them paint the picture of their future in five years time when it is
exactly how they would like it to be. Now ask them to chose which life they want it to be. Are they
prepared to go the hard road now in order to step into the easy road in the future? Regret weighs
tons and commitment weighs ounces.
Make sure you are gentle and calibrate your client well as you stack the pain around not changing.
Otherwise they may get so scared that they will never come back to you. Use your sensory acuity to
know when enough is enough.
When you create massive discomfort and pain, it is important to also create massive pleasure and
joy. This will create tension and a void that needs to be filled with action. Always end up painting the
positive picture to restore their commitment, passion and sense of purpose. Keep in mind the
negative image that will pop into your mind or your client’s mind if you or they don’t take action.
You can do this process with each one of your top ten goals to give yourself the leverage you need
to propel yourself forwards.
A Word of Warning
Make sure to gain your client’s permission before you stack the pain and explain to them exactly
what you are going to do and why. If you are not careful, you could easily lose their trust and
rapport. They must be emotionally stable to handle the pressure of the pain. You are a coach, not a
counsellor and want to challenge not hurt your client by being tough, not rough.
Create anchors that you can use to bail your client out of the pain back into a state of balance. This
could be a pre-agreed phrase or gesture that will enable them to stop the process and come back into the present reality.
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HOW TO BUILD POSITIVE DRIVE
You must be able to take your client into a positive state with just a few words. This can only
happen if you remind them of a state you have created previously.
Make sure you stack the positive resources and remind the client of their capabilities, strengths and
internal power that they posses to achieve their goals:
“If you can conceive and believe it, you can achieve it”.
TASK THIRTEEN
Think of five challenging questions that you can ask when someone is stuck and not moving towards
a better life. Remember to phrase them in such a way that will heighten the listener’s awareness
around their current situation and the consequences of inaction. Make sure that you have prior agreement from that person or ask a fellow student or friend to role-play with you.
1._____________________________________________
2._____________________________________________
3._____________________________________________
4._____________________________________________
5._____________________________________________
Here are some questions that you could ask:
1. How serious are you about the future?
2. Do you believe you deserve this?
3. What value do you place upon yourself?
If you sense resistance you can go into opposition:
1. Well, let’s not bother then; we are totally wasting each other’s time. This usually creates urgency
and willingness to engage. Once they are willing to change, reinforce the pain by asking what would
happen if you don’t. Be gentle in this process and calibrate your client well.
Once this process is complete, get them to break state, stand up and get a glass of water or do a
big stretch, then reinforce the positive resources:
1. What’s going to happen if you are able to do this?
2. What is going to be the best thing that is going to happen?
3. Who are you going to be able to affect if you are able to do this?
4. What is it going to look like in five years down the road?
5. How is your life improved as a result of this?
Stack and build the pleasure part as much if not more than the pain part.
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MOTIVATIONAL DRIVERS
1. Music
Use music as a positive resource anchor because it has the power to motivate, calm or inspire you.
Play a certain piece of music when you put yourself into your motivational or pleasure state. You will
begin to associate the music with the achievement of your goals and it will kick you into a motivated
state to go the extra mile.
2. Pain Pleasure Principals
Keep asking yourself the question, what would happen if I don’t achieve this.
3. Books, CD’s People
Read motivational books, listen to inspirational speakers and mix with positive people. Encourage your clients to do the same.
4. There is no Failure
Remind your clients and yourself that mistakes are the only way to grow. There is no failure, only
feedback. In fact the only failure is not to keep going. Zig Ziglar says: “Failure is an event, never a
person.”
TASK FOURTEEN
What tools will you use to reinforce your level of motivation?
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21
HIERARCHY OF HUMAN NEEDS
The American psychologist Abraham Maslow developed the Hierarchy of Human Needs. Once the
most basic need of food and water is met, we seek to fulfil the next level and so forth. Here a list of
the human needs according to Maslow:
1. Food and Water
2. Shelter and Safety
3. Belonging to Group or Community
4. Receive Esteem of Others
5. Develop Self-Esteem
6. Reach Self Actualisation
The last stage is the stage where people are interested in their purpose, their values and the
meaning of their lives. They strive to make contributions to society and self.
Knowing these needs will enable you as a coach to understand where your client is at on the ladder
of fulfilling their needs. They are the key motivators in our lives and as a coach you can act as a
catalyst to propel your client towards reaching their full potential in self actualisation.
Lack of time is one of the most widespread excuses for not taking action. Many people focus their
time and effort on the wrong things; things that keep them busy but will not bring them closer to
their major objectives in live nor will they benefit all concerned.
Scientific research has shown that skilled motivational speakers have the ability to establish an
energy of enthusiasm and excitement that activates the brain and produces the feel good chemicals
serotonin, endorphin and dopamine as well as other neurotransmitters. This means that the
constant reinforcement of positive messages will feed your brain and give you the enthusiasm and
energy to fulfil your goals.
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TASK FIFTEEN
Case Study:
Imagine Steve was your client. He is 30 years old married with 3 children, Paul age 2, Mary age 4
and Linda age 6. He is a Regional Sales manager for a large manufacturing company and loves
playing golf and tennis. He has been with you for 3 months and has since made great progress in
his professional life. He has large outgoings due to his big house and luxurious lifestyle. His company
is about to hold interviews for an overseas manager.
Steve sees this as a great opportunity and has set some goals in order to gain the skills and
knowledge required for this position and the upcoming interview.
However, he is getting side tracked a lot. What 5 questions could you ask him and why.
Question 1:
______________________________________________
Reason:
________________________________________________
____________________________________________
Question 2:
______________________________________________
Reason:
________________________________________________
____________________________________________
Question 3:
______________________________________________
Reason:
________________________________________________
____________________________________________
Question 4:
______________________________________________
Reason:
________________________________________________
____________________________________________
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Question 5:
______________________________________________
Reason:
________________________________________________
____________________________________________
TASK SIXTEEN
Write down your key learnings and how you will implement them with your clients:
1._______________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
____________________________________
2._______________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________
________________________________________________
____________________________________________
3._______________________________________________
________________________________________________
__________________________________________
________________________________________________
________________________________________________
__________________________________________
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24
CONCLUSION
In this second part we have looked at the following topics:
1. We need consistent motivation to achieve our goals.
2. Your brain needs positive messages that can come in form of motivational talks, CD’s and
people.
3. Pain can be the driver of motivation.
4. Questions you can ask your clients to strengthen their motivation.
5. What processes to take your clients through if they fail to achieve their goals on a consistent
basis.
6. How to use the rocking chair visualisation and consequence questions to get your client back on
track.
7. How to remind the client of their positive inner resources.
8. How to create anchors such as music to get back into a positive, motivated attitude.