how to pen powerful proposals that inspire donors and raise more money · 2018-02-10 · saves...

WRITING FOR (BIG!) DOLLAR$

HOW TO PEN POWERFUL PROPOSALS THAT

INSPIRE DONORS AND RAISE MORE MONEY

November 28, 2016

Knows her audience

Speaks with passion,

purpose and power

Uses vivid words

Tells a story with a clear

point of view

Stirs people with emotion

TAKE A LESSON FROM PINK

GOALS FOR TODAY

Commit to communicating in messages,

not just the facts

Learn to rely on storytelling

Put donors at the center of communications

Use proposals as a vehicle to enhance

relationships with your major donors

Unlock the keys to writing with verve!

IT ALL BEGINS WITH THE MESSAGE

Delivering the facts is not enough

It’s not about you. A donation to UW Athletics

is simply a means to an end for a donor.

Your message is about the impact your

donors can make when they support UW

Athletics

COMMUNICATE IN MESSAGES

FACT MESSAGE

The stove is hot.You’ll burn your fingers if you

touch the stove.

Washington state spends $10

less per student than the

national average on textbooks.

Textbooks in many of our public

schools are so old they say

Richard Nixon is president.

The Red Cross provides for the

immediate needs of people and

families temporarily displaced

by disaster.

Your gifts feed, clothe and shelter

people during the most difficult

crises of their lives, while assuring

them that someone cares.

EXAMPLE: FACT VS. MESSAGE

FACT MESSAGE

The Our Lady of Guadalupe

capital campaign will raise

funds to build a new gym

and meeting space.

The OLG Campaign is our

opportunity to enrich parish

life for the next 50 years

and beyond. By coming

together to build a new

Parish Life Center and Gym,

we will not only create a

vibrant place for all

generations to grow in

fellowship and faith, we will

strengthen our entire

community.


FACT MESSAGE

Youth Eastside Services helps

saves lives. When kids and

families are shattered by

substance abuse, violence and

emotional problems, YES makes

them whole again. We create

strong families, confident and self-

reliant youth, and a safe eastside

community that cares for its young

people.

Youth Eastside Services is a

multi-service agency licensed to

provide individual and family

counseling; substance abuse

education, prevention and

treatment; community and

school-based violence preven-

tion and family support; and

consultation and training

activities for children, adole-

scents, parents and school staff.


FACT MESSAGE

Husky Athletics unites our com-

munity and fans everywhere in the

joy and pride of being a Husky. We

give student-athletes the chance to

excel in their sports and in the

classroom, developing into well-

rounded and thoughtful leaders

who will shape our world for

generations to come. With the loyal

support of donors, we build

champions on the field and off.

The Tyee Club is the primary

fundraising arm of the University of

Washington Division of Intercol-

legiate Athletics, which operates a

low-margin $60 million annual

enterprise that serves more than 650

student-athletes. Unlike other

departments, Husky Athletics is self-

funded except for the 3 percent of its

budget, which is received from the

University in the form of tuition

waivers. The remaining 97 percent is

funded through the generous support

of patrons, alumni and friends.

GREAT DONOR MESSAGES

Speak directly to a target audience.

Paint a vivid picture for the mind.

Are compelling, memorable and brief.

Illustrate the results of what you do, not just

what you do… and make the donor the hero.

Instead of “Sustained funding will enable us to

recruit outstanding student-athletes.” … “You will

pave the way for outstanding student-athletes to

compete in the sports they love and earn a world-

class education at Washington.”

DONOR-CENTRIC IN ONE WORD

Instead of… … Consider ‘you’

An opportunity to support the

Husky Rowing program

Your opportunity to support the

Husky Rowing program

It is an inspiration You inspire us

Below is our proposalHere’s how you can make a

remarkable difference

The cost to support the program Your investment

Our request for Husky Rowing Our request to you

THE KEY WORD IN WRITING FOR DOLLAR$

For every little boy like Matthew, there is another

child who does not have a CASA volunteer. By

supporting the National CASA Association, you can

change that. You can make a gift that will change a

life, an investment that will offer you a return like

no other. We are counting on you to bring us closer

to the goal of providing a dedicated volunteer to

every child who needs one by 2020.

YOU

STRUCTURING THE PROPOSAL

1. Open with high praise

SING THE DONOR’S PRAISES

INSTEAD OF… … HIGH PRAISE

We ask for your consideration

of an additional commitment to

your endowed funds to ensure

the growth of opportunity for

our students’ academic

excellence through special

learning services.

The endowment you established in

2008 has already made a

tremendous impact. Thanks to

your support, eight student-

athletes have graduated from

Washington and are making their

marks on the world. You provided

them with the academic support

they needed for a boundless

future. We are so grateful for your

generosity.



2. Get personal

BE SPECIFIC IN YOUR THANKS

INSTEAD OF… … GET PERSONAL

The Game Changer Campaign for

Husky Athletics is a new opportunity

for you to be a part of something

spectacular that will transform Husky

Athletics. This campaign will make a

game-changing difference in every

aspect of the student-athlete

experience at UW – from the

scholarships we provide, to the

dedicated coaches that act as our

faculty, to the academic support we

provide all student-athletes – every

area of the student-athlete

experience will be impacted.

For more than two decades, the Root

Family and its spectacularly successful

companies, GM Nameplate and

SuperGraphics, have been among our

most loyal supporters. Your generosity

helped rebuild Husky Stadium into the

finest venue in college football. Your

caring impact is visible across so many

sports. Now, you have an opportunity

to make a game-changing difference

that will truly exemplify your Husky

pride and profoundly affect the lives of

student-athletes.



2. Get personal

3. Succinctly present the opportunity

PRESENT AN OPPORTUNITY

INSTEAD OF… … AN OPPORTUNITY

We ask you to consider a gift

totaling $500,000 as part of

the Game Changer Campaign

for Husky Athletics. Gift details

are as follows:

We are excited to present you

with an extraordinary opportunity

to change the lives of student-

athletes while building winning

teams for years to come. A gift of

$250,000 will endow a partial

scholarship for a sport of your

choice. A $250,000 in-kind

contribution will continue your

companies’ remarkable

contributions to the fan and

student-athlete experience.



2. Get personal


4. Tell a story

MAKE IMPACT COME ALIVE

INSTEAD OF… … TELL A STORY

Your scholarship was established in 2008 to

support “financially needy student-athletes

participating in the CREW program at the

University of Washington.” Through its

investment in the university’s combined

endowed fund, your scholarship has grown

and its market value was $152,623 as of

June 30, 2015. Since its inception your

scholarship has contributed $38,868 to

support student-athletes pursuing their dream

of earning an undergraduate degree while

competing on the water for UW and learning

lifelong values like teamwork, personal

responsibility, perseverance and leadership.

The scholarship you established in 2008

to support financially needy members of

the Crew team already helped four

dedicated student-athlete pursue their

dreams – students like Jens Lunder, an

immigrant who grew up in the housing

projects of New York City. Jens discovered

rowing as a boy and saw it as a way to

escape poverty and get an education.

When he graduates, he’ll enroll in medical

school. You made his dream a reality.

“I am so proud to be the first in my family

to earn a college degree,” Jens says.

“Thank you.”

THE POWER OF STORYTELLING

Information-giving activates the part of the brain

that decodes words into meaning. That’s it.

Storytelling activates all the parts of the brain

you’d use if you were actually living the story.

The Vulcan Mind Meld: Your stories influence

others’ emotions…

…and emotions leads to action.

THE DONOR CONNECTION STORY

The history of their generosity

Tons of love, tons of praise – really, you

can’t overdo it

The impact of their generosity,

specifically, with a story



2. Get personal


4. Tell a story

5. Suggest a problem that the donor’s gift

will resolve

YOU CAN SOLVE A PROBLEM!

INSTEAD OF… … A COMPELLING PROBLEM

Currently the in-state cost of

attendance for a full scholarship is

$25,934; the out-of-state cost of

attendance if $47,666. It is our

goal to continue to grow our

scholarship endowments to provide

the maximum level of support

possible for our student-athletes as

they pursue their academic and

athletic dreams.

Dedicated people like you have fueled

our endowments through the years to

cover about 21 percent of annual

scholarship costs. But today, PAC-12

and national competition have never

been tougher and scholarship costs

have risen to unprecedented levels.

We need you to help us recruit the

most talented student-athletes and

give them a chance to pursue their

academic and athletic dreams. You

can help us build champions, on the

field and off.



2. Get personal


4. Tell a story

5. Suggest a problem that the donor’s gift will resolve

6. FINALLY! The detailed proposal

THE PROPOSAL

INSTEAD OF… … THE PROPOSAL

Currently, Student Academic Services

has a passionate academic fellow

trained in learning disability testing.

You’ve seen firsthand what a difference

an enthusiastic, empathetic expert can

have in the long-term success of a

young person’s life. By increasing your

support you can make this a possibility

for years to come. By offsetting the

salary costs covered by University of

Washington Athletics you will aid in

giving Washington student-athletes

permanent access to this service.

This example from one

of your proposals is

great! No changes. ☺

CAN WE SIMPLIFY THE DETAILS?

CAN WE SIMPLIFY THE DETAILS?

Pair up

Review the specific $$$ figures of the proposal

Discuss: What is it we really want the donor to do?

Suggest how we might simplify the numbers

Sum up the direct ask in two sentences and write

it at the bottom of the page

You have 15 minutes



2. Get personal


4. Tell a story

5. Suggest a problem that the donor’s gift will resolve

6. FINALLY! The detailed proposal

7. An impassioned closing paragraph

INSPIRE ME WITH YOUR PASSION

INSTEAD OF… … AN IMPASSIONED CLOSE

You can help us reach our

goal to increase our Athletics

Endowment to $100 million

by the end of the Game

Changer Campaign. More

importantly, you can give a

young man or woman

something they will value for

a lifetime: a degree from the

University of Washington.

Today, we call on you to make a gift that

will transform the lives of student-athletes

and make a game-changing difference for

your Huskies. You will develop young men

and women of the highest character who

will go on to change the world, while

building championship teams that will

excite Husky pride like never before. You

will inspire others to join us through your

leadership and, together, we will realize a

remarkable vision for UW Athletics. Thank

you for your consideration.

WRITE LIKE YOU TALK

Use conversational language

Use/utilize

In addition to/additionally

Find out/ascertain

Live/reside

People/individuals

We ask you to consider/Please consider

If you wouldn’t say it that way over coffee with a friend, don’t write it!

WRITE LIKE YOU TALK

Avoid jargon and acronyms

ESL, GRE, HIPAA, DSHS, ECEAP, LEP, cost of

attendance (without explanation), etc.

Major gift, planned giving, leverage, stretch,

impactful, sector, capacity

Use contractions

Fragments can be powerful for emphasis

Your gifts change lives. Every minute. Every day.

WRITE LIKE YOU TALK

Use active voice, simple sentences and sparse words

PASSIVE VOICE ACTIVE VOICE

The construction of the playground

at is expected to greatly enhance

the recreational opportunities for

the children in our care.

Our kids will love the play-

ground that your gifts built.

Donating an extra dollar when you

buy your ballet ticket is a way to

ensure that low-income kids have

access to the arts.

When you donate an extra

dollar with your ticket, you

ensure that low-income kids

have access to the arts.

Your investment is deeply

appreciated.

We deeply appreciate your

investment.

NUMBERS CAN BE NUMBING

Beware statistical overload

Through its investment in the university’s combined endowed fund, your

scholarship has grown and its market value was $152,623 as of June 30,

2015. Since its inception your scholarship has contributed $38,868 to

support student-athletes.

Wise investments of your scholarship donations have increased its value to

nearly $153,000 at the end of the last fiscal year. Your endowment has

provided almost $40,000 to support the education of Husky student-athletes.

Add an emotional trigger

Thanks to you, students who might never have been able to afford a world-

class Washington education will graduate with a degree they’ll treasure for a

lifetime.

WHEN WRITER’S BLOCK HITS…

… say it out loud.

A good written proposal to donors is like a

lively and passionate personal conversation.

SUMMING IT UP

Write in messages, not facts

Approach proposals through a logical

structure

Praise, personalize, present opportunities

Stories inspire people to take action

Write like you talk

The most critical word: YOU

Ask a colleague to review and proofread

WHAT QUESTIONS DO YOU HAVE?

LET’S TALK IT OVER

Break into pairs

Ask each other: “What is the single biggest

challenge you face in writing a compelling donor

proposal?”

Discuss potential solutions to each other’s

challenges

Share your challenges and solutions with the

rest of the group

MOORE INK. PR &

FUNDRAISING COMMUNICATIONS…

… helps clients with a cause build awareness, understanding

and support for the vital work they do to improve and enhance

people’s lives. We work with organizations to help them identify

and herald their unique strengths and inspiring successes. We

take your cause to heart, adopt your mission as our own, and

through strong relationship-building and strategic communi-

cations, help you tell your story, raise more money and achieve

your goals.

206-721-9540

[email protected]

www.mooreink.com© 2016 Moore Ink. PR

how to pen powerful proposals that inspire donors and raise more money · 2018-02-10 · saves...

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