how to keep both feet on the ground & out of your mouth
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How To Keep Both Feet On The Ground & Out of Your Mouth. Presenter - Monica Swallop Tides Of Change March 6 & 7, 2007. Co-presenters:. Nancy Rehrig Marty Landis Linda Kerschner Kitti Berkheimer Susan Stimpfle. Mary Guertler Michele Haines Barbarann Lichtewalner Cheryl Breitfeller - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
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How To Keep Both Feet On The Ground & Out of Your Mouth
Presenter - Monica Swallop
Tides Of ChangeMarch 6 & 7, 2007
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Co-presenters:• Mary Guertler
• Michele Haines
• Barbarann Lichtewalner
• Cheryl Breitfeller
• Sharon Karpiszin
•Nancy Rehrig
•Marty Landis
•Linda Kerschner
•Kitti Berkheimer
•Susan Stimpfle
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Co-presenters
• Maureen Foster• Audrey Hammen• Linda Lee Iezzi• Diane Millman• Jane Wentz• Sandy Mink• Diane Carfara
• Robin German• Linda Andreas• Tammy Boom• Sue Supenia• Karen Jackson• Sharon Mitchell
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Relativity
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change”
~Wayne Dyer
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Turn it around...
• Look at a situation from all angles
• Look at the other person’s point of view
• Put yourself in their place
• Bring together different viewpoints
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Take Charge of Your Emotions• Live lightly
• Respond rather than react
• Avoid going to extremes
• Bypass bickering
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Think Nice
• Set the tone
• Smile…people can hear
• Please
• Thank you
• Sincere compliments
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Think Twice
“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.”
–Mark Twain
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Give the Benefit of the Doubt• Assumptions are often false
• Don’t make a movie out of a situation
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Avoid Judgement
• Put your mind in gear before your mouth
• Best time to say nothing is when you have the most to say
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Five Rule • Think of 5 good points about the
person
- Nice smile
- Loves animals
- Great hair cut
- Kind
- Bakes a good cake
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Five Rule• Think of 5 reasons why
person may be acting the way they are:
- Their shoes are too tight
- They are hungry
- They don’t feel well
- They were called to task
- Fight with spouse
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Find the good...
“Everyone has good in
them…you just have to look
harder with some people.”
~St. Theresa
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Gossip – Drama Llama
• How would you feel if someone said the same thing about you?
• If you can’t answer “I would like that”, don’t say it or repeat it.
• Is this being said for a constructive purpose?
• Is it being exaggerated in order to add drama/excitement?
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Recognize the Power of Words• Once you recognize the power
of words, you are well on your way to speaking words that uplift rather than tear down
• Awareness is half the battle
• Think before you speak
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“I have never been hurt by anything I did not say.”
~ Calvin Coolidge
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Tactful PhrasesWhen you disagree:
• It seems to me that the problem…
• While I don’t agree with your conclusion...
• Would it be possible for you to recheck...
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Tactful Phrases When situation gets heated:
• Obviously you are too upset to discuss this now, I will talk to you later.
• We don’t have to agree, but is there any reason we can’t be civil to each other?
• You have every right to feel that way if that were the case.
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Tactful Phrases
• I understand you have a
problem with that, but I
expect to be treated with
courtesy and
professionalism
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Tactful Phrases When you are being pressured:
• I don’t feel totally comfortable with that…
• Don’t you think it would be a good idea to hold off until...
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Tactful Phrases When clarification is needed…
- I’d appreciate your help understanding this…
- Perhaps I misunderstood…
- It looks like we got our signals crossed…
- Perhaps I did not explain myself clearly…
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Tactful Phrases
• With all due respect….
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Tactful Phrases
When you want to express anger:
- I feel I was treated unfairly...
- I was upset when I realized…
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Anger
• Anger is one letter short of danger
• Walk away
• Evaluate the situation
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It’s all in how you say it... Avoid
• You have to…(controlling)
• I can not..
• But….
• I am sorry
Alternative
• Are you willing to…
• I will try…
• End the sentence; try however
• I apologize (use the person’s name in sentence form).
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Humor
• Lightens up a situation
• Breaks down barriers
• Laughter is underestimated in the work environment
• Create your own
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Body Language
• Negative - “I don’t believe anything you are saying - and I am bored.”
• Positive - “ I am really interested in what you are saying.”
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Body Language
• Avoid ‘closed’ body posture
- Arms folded across chest
- Hiding your hands and palms
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Body Language
• Avoid touching face when speaking.
– Rubbing nose, eyes, ears, head, or neck shows doubt in what you are saying or hearing
• Blink normally and nod your head to show agreement
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Avoid Extraneous Movements• Finger drumming
• Scratching
• Twitching
• Darting eyes around the room
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Positive Expectations
“This is a waste of time!”
“They’ll never agree to this.”
• If you don’t believe it, what makes you think they will?
• Talk yourself into a state of optimism
• Go in with courage of your convictions
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Being Proactive
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Evaluate the Situation
• Is this trivial?
• Can I let this roll off my back?
• Take time to think about what it is you want
• Do not react from emotions
• Be honest with yourself; empathic with the other side
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History of the Situation
• Is it someone/something you deal with everyday?
• Is the behavior intentional or innocent?
• Is it temporary?
• Will it change?
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Let’s Talk• Get the facts, or the facts will get you
• Be prepared to present in a confident manner
• Use words or terms you are familiar with
• Keep it simple
• Know what it is that you want
• Focus
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5 Second Confidence Fix• Use ‘proud me’ posture - Your
mother probably taught it to you!
• Sit up straight
• Pull your shoulders up and back
• Automatically pulls your head up
• You will feel more optimistic & things will literally be looking up
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Greeting
• Make eye contact
• Smile
• Shake hands if you are comfortable doing so and if appropriate
• Make it personal, use names
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Express Your Intent• Start with person’s name
• Use that cooperative attitude
• Speak slowly and clearly
• Avoid words that you might stumble over
• If you do stumble, replace the word with another one
• Show the proper respect
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Stand on Principles
• Avoid trying to outwit the other person
• Stand tall but don’t knock down
• Get your point across by presenting with a cooperative attitude
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Listen Attentively• Let them know you are hearing
their concerns by repeating them and asking questions
• Maintain eye contact
• Avoid unblinking stare…let them know you are interested & still alive
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Summary• Relativity - look at the whole picture
• Take charge of your emotions - live lightly
• Think nice - think twice
• Give the benefit of the doubt
• Five Rules
• Recognize the power of words
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Be Confident - Be Proactive“Why not go out on a limb? That is where the fruit is.”
~ Will Rogers