How to Get Through Life

In our family, we only name a baby after we meet it. That's when we know who they are. We look atthem and they tell us. I've been writing a book on and off but the hardest part is the first chapter.That first chapter is so weighty. It makes me feel like I have to know what the whole book is aboutbefore I write it which is like knowing a baby's name before it's born.

So here's my solution. I'm not writing a first chapter. I'm just writing. The book will be born and thenwe'll see who she is.

Here's today's excerpt.

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There are short journeys and there are long journeys.

Most of us move through life dividing it into real time and in between time. Real time is in thedoctor's office, in between time is in the waiting room. Real time is when I'm settled in a job, inbetween time is when I'm unemployed. Real time is when I'm married and settled, in between time iswhen I'm single and searching.

The Lubavitcher Rebe says, there is no such thing as real or not real time. There are only longjourneys and short journeys. When the Jews traveled through the desert, they didn't set up camp

randomly, they followed the Cloud of Glory. When it moved, they moved and when it stopped, theystopped. All together they camped in forty places, some for a day and some for a year. In each pacethey camped they were commanded to set up the Mishan, the Tabernacle. Setting up the Mishkanwas no small feat. It required 5, 000 Levites to build it!

And yet, even if it was just for 24 hours, up it went. This teaches us that every place we camp,whether it be for a short time or a long time is important. More than that ; each place we camp is aplace where the Divine Presence wants to rest, wants to be with us. In every part of the world, inevery part of life there are hols sparks. The Torah teaches that when G-d created the world, Heshattered the sparks around the Universe and our job is to collect them, to elevate them. In thissense, there is nothing that is not sacred.

I remember reading a book called Anti- Cancer "Food impacts your body three times a day, everyday. Make it work for you."

As food impacts on our body, our thoughts impact our souls.And we don't only think three times aday. All day long we are ingesting paradigms.

We can feed our souls toxic, artificial flavors such as "I can't wait until this is over!" "Why me" "Ican't handle this!" What a waste of time!"

Or we can feed it nurturing nourishing thoughts, like "What can I get out of this situation?" "I'm sograteful to be alive for this experience." "Everything is for a reason." "I'm in pain but from this placeI can grow."

There are only long journeys and short journeys and so often it's the short ones, those so called inbetween times where we become. They are opportunities for growth.

Imagine I'm sitting in the Doctors office nervously waiting for an important appointment and I'mwaiting for time to pass. I probably got dressed early in the morning, got the kids out, tried to keepmy eye on the clock and being horrible with time was anxious that I would inevitably be late. Irushed through my prayers or didn't say them at all. I probably circled around to find parking, andsighed as I realized I didn't charge my phone and grabbed a coffee as I left and slowed down mysteps before walking into the waiting room so that I looked like a normal person.

And then I sat down. And I waited. And I waited and I waited. And all my hurrying was for nothing.Or was it? What if that time of waiting was custom designed for me. What if it was exactly what Ineeded? Maybe in that time I said a quiet prayer or read some Psalms. What if without if I would nothave said the prayers that would lead to a good diagnoses for me?

There are sparks there in that waiting room. And they might be in your prayers or they might be in aconversation with the receptionist. The last receptionist I spoke with had just lost her aunt. She wasgoing to the funeral after work that day. Her aunt raised her and she was devastated. We made thatconnection and picked up that holy spark.

There are sparks even when there are no fireworks. No flashy - "I met this woman and we had themost amazing talk - it was so perfect that I was there." Sometimes the spark is the spark of patienceas I humble myself to be in a situation that is tiresome and uncomfortable. Sometimes the spark isgratitude as I watch a parade of people, sicker than myself go in before me. And sometimes thespark is unknown and I have to create it. "G-d, why do you want me here? Can you help meunderstand? And in the reaching out, in the space of seeking the spark I've already ignited it.

In our long journeys we feel sure of ourselves, we know what we are accomplishing, but in our shortjourneys we're unsure, we're off balance. It feels like the world is moving while we are stuck at astandstill. And that alone can cause us panic. The toxic thoughts come in; when will the real journeystart?

Sometimes a short journey can actually be a long one. When you're sick or when a loved one is sick,it feels like life is on hold; when will it get normal? Or how about when a child is struggling or whenthere's mental illness in the family or when the loneliness of being single feels like its choking you.How much longer can you hold out?

The constant state of crisis feels like it's got to be short term. After all, isn't life supposed to have amorning, afternoon and evening? Aren't we supposed to be able to go to work and come home andhave dinner and be normal. And even if I'm a champion in this Olympic sized test, isn't it supposed tobe over so that I can be normal again?

And I've been there, I get it. It's that feeling of "Get me off the train!" When will the in between timebe over so that I can begin real time?

The words of Lubavitcher Rebbe whisper the answer in our ear. "It's ALL real. There are only shortjourneys and long journeys."

You, my dear are on an expedition; you are a spark gatherer, a treasure hunter, a life giver, a peoplegrower. Your pain and your pleasure, your waiting and your doing, it's all movement, it's all growingyou. The Divine Presence is with you wherever you are.

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