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Page 1: How to Eat Fried Worms...“And he can eat them any way he wants,” said Tom. “Boiled, stewed, fried, fricasseed.” “Yeah, but we provide the worms,” said Joe. “And there
Page 2: How to Eat Fried Worms...“And he can eat them any way he wants,” said Tom. “Boiled, stewed, fried, fricasseed.” “Yeah, but we provide the worms,” said Joe. “And there

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Page 3: How to Eat Fried Worms...“And he can eat them any way he wants,” said Tom. “Boiled, stewed, fried, fricasseed.” “Yeah, but we provide the worms,” said Joe. “And there

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Page 4: How to Eat Fried Worms...“And he can eat them any way he wants,” said Tom. “Boiled, stewed, fried, fricasseed.” “Yeah, but we provide the worms,” said Joe. “And there

Contents

TitlePage

I:TheBet

II:Digging

III:TrainingCamp

IV:TheFirstWorm

V:TheGatheringStorm

VI:TheSecondWorm

VII:RedCrashHelmetsandWhiteJumpSuits

VIII:TheThirdWorm

IX:ThePlotters

X:TheFourthWorm

XI:Tom

XII:TheFifthWorm

XIII:NothingtoWorryAbout

XIV:ThePainandtheBloodandtheGore

XV:3:15A.M.

XVI:TheSixthWorm

XVII:TheSeventhWorm

XVIII:TheEighthWorm

XIX:TheNinthWorm

XX:Billy’sMother

XXI:TheTenthWorm

XXII:TheEleventhWorm

XXIII:AdmiralsNagumoandKusakaontheBridgeoftheAkaiga,December

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6,1941

XXIV:TheTwelfthWorm

XXV:PearlHarbor

XXVI:Guadalcanal

XXVII:TheThirteenthWorm

XXVIII:Hello,We’re….

XXIX

XXX:ThePeaceTreaty

XXXI:TheLetter

XXXII:Croak

XXXIII:TheFourteenthWorm

XXXIV:TheFifteenth….

XXXV:Burp

XXXVI:TheFifteenthWo….

XXXVII:OutoftheFryingPanintotheOven

XXXVIII:$%//!?Blip*/&!

XXXIX:TheUnitedStatesCavalryRidesovertheHilltop

XL:TheFifteenthWorm

XLI:Epilogue

AbouttheAuthors

Copyright

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Page 6: How to Eat Fried Worms...“And he can eat them any way he wants,” said Tom. “Boiled, stewed, fried, fricasseed.” “Yeah, but we provide the worms,” said Joe. “And there

I

TheBet

HEY,Tom!Wherewereyoulastnight?”“Yeah,youmissedit.”AlanandBillycameupthefrontwalk.Tomwassittingonhisporch

steps,bouncingatennisball.“OldManTatorcaughtJoeaswewereclimbingthroughthefence,sowe

allhadtogoback,andhemadeuspilethepeachesonhiskitchentable,andthenhecalledourmothers.”

“Joe’smotherhasn’tlethimoutyet.”“Wherewereyou?”Tomstoppedbouncingthetennisball.Hewasatall,skinnyboywhotook

histroublesveryseriously.“Mymotherkeptmein.”“Whatfor?”“Iwouldn’teatmydinner.”AlansatdownonthestepbelowTomandbegantochewhisthumbnail.“Whatwasit?”“Salmoncasserole.”Billyfloppeddownonthegrass,chunky,snubnosed,freckled.“Salmoncasserole’snotsobad.”“Wouldn’tsheletyoujusteattwobites?”askedAlan.“Sometimesmy

mothersays,well,allright,ifI’lljusteattwobites.”“Iwouldn’teatevenone.”“That’sstupid,”saidBilly.“Onebitecan’thurtyou.I’deatonebiteof

anythingbeforeI’dletthemsendmeuptomyroomrightaftersupper.”Tomshrugged.“Howaboutmud?”AlanaskedBilly.“Youwouldn’teatabiteofmud.”Alanarguedalot,small,knobby-kneed,nervous,gnawingathis

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thumbnail,hisfacesmudged,hisredhairmussed,shirttailhangingout,shoelacesuntied.

“Sure,Iwould,”Billysaid.“Mud.What’smud?Justdirtwithalittlewaterinit.Myfathersayseveryoneeatsapoundofdirteveryyearanyway.”

“Howaboutpoison?”“That’sdifferent.”Billyrolledoveronhisback.“Isyourmothergoingtomakeyoueattheleftoverstodayatlunch?”he

askedTom.“Sheneverhasbefore.”“Howaboutworms?”AlanaskedBilly.Tom’ssister’scatsquirmedoutfromundertheporchandrubbedagainst

Billy’sknee.“Sure,”saidBilly.“Whynot?Wormsarejustdirt.”“Yeah,buttheybleed.”“Soyou’dhavetocookthem.Cowsbleed.”“Ibetahundreddollarsyouwouldn’treallyeataworm.Youtalkbig

now.butyouwouldn’tifyouweresittingatthedinnertablewithawormonyourplate.”

“IbetIwould.I’deatfifteenwormsifsomebody’dbetmeahundreddollars.”

“Youreallywanttobet?I’llbetyoufiftydollarsyoucan’teatfifteenworms.Ireallywill.”

“Where’reyougoingtogetfiftydollars?”“Inmysavingsaccount.I’vegotonehundredandthirtydollarsand

seventy-ninecentsinmysavingsaccount.Iknow,becauselastweekIputinthefivedollarsmygrandmothergavemeformybirthday.”

“Yourmotherwouldn’tletyoutakeitout.”“ShewouldifIlostthebet.She’dhaveto.I’dtellherIwasgoingtosell

mystampcollectionotherwise.AndIboughtthatwithallmyownmoneythatIearnedmowinglawns,soIcandowhateverIwantwithit.I’llbetyoufiftydollarsyoucan’teatfifteenworms.Comeon.You’rechicken.Youknowyoucan’tdoit.”

“Iwouldn’tdoit,”saidTom.“Ifsalmoncasserolemakesmesick,thinkwhatfifteenwormswoulddo.”

JoecamescuffingupthewalkandfloppeddownbesideBilly.Hewasa

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smallboy,withdarkhairandalongnoseandbigbrowneyes.“What’sgoingon?”“Comeon,”saidAlantoBilly.“TomcanbeyoursecondandJoe’llbe

mine,justlikeinaduel.Youthinkit’ssoeasy—here’syourchancetomakefiftybucks.”

Billydangledaleafinfrontofthecat,butthecatjustrubbedagainsthisknee,purring.

“Whatkindofworms?”“Regularworms.”“Notthosebiggreenonesthatgetonthetomatoes.Iwon’teatthose.And

Iwon’teatthemallatonce.Itmightmakemesick.Onewormadayforfifteendays.”

“Andhecaneatthemanywayhewants,”saidTom.“Boiled,stewed,fried,fricasseed.”

“Yeah,butweprovidetheworms,”saidJoe.“Andtherehavetobewitnessedpresentwhenheeatsthem;eithermeorAlanorsomebodywecantrust.NotjustyouandBilly.”

“Okay?”AlansaidtoBilly.Billyscratchedthecat’sears.Fiftydollars.Thatwasalotofmoney.How

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badcouldawormtaste?He’deatenfriedliver,salmonloaf,mushrooms,tongue,pig’sfeet.Otherkids’parentswerealwaysnaggingthemtoeat,eat;hishadbeguntoworryabouthowmuchheate.Notthathewasfat.Hejusthadn’tworkedoffallhiswinterblubberyet.

Heslidhishandintohisshirtandfurtivelysqueezedthesideofhisstomach.Wormswerejustdirt;dirtwasn’tfattening.

Ifhewonfiftydollars,hecouldbuythatmini-bikeGeorgeCunningham’sbrotherhadpromisedtosellhiminSeptemberbeforehewentawaytocollege.Heck,hecouldgaganythingdownforfiftydollars,couldn’the?

Helookedup.“Icanuseketchupormustardoranythinglikethat?AsmuchasIwant?”

Alannodded.“Okay?”Billystoodup.“Okay.”

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II

Digging

No,”saidTom.“That’snotfair.”HeandAlanandJoewerewanderingaroundbehindthebarnsatBilly’s

house,arguingoverwheretodigthefirstworm.“Whatd’yamean,it’snotfair?”saidJoe.“Nobodysaidanythingabout

wherethewormsweresupposedtocomefrom.Wecangetthemanywherewewant.”

“Notfromamanurepile,”saidTom.“That’snotfair.Evenifwedidn’tmakearuleaboutsomething,youstillhavetobefair.”

“Whatdifferencedoesitmakewherethewormcomesfrom?”saidAlan.“Aworm’saworm.”

“There’snothingwrongwithmanure,”saidJoe.“Itcomesfromcows,justlikemilk.”Joewassly,devious,aschemer.Themanurepilehadbeenhisidea.

“YouandBillyhavegottobefair,too,”saidAlantoTom.“Besides,we’lldigintheoldpartofthepile,whereitdoesn’tsmellmuchanymore.”

“Comeon,”saidTom,startingoffacrossthefielddragginghisshovel.“Ifitwasfair,youwouldn’tbesoanxiousaboutit.Wouldyoueatawormfromamanurepile?”

JoeandAlanrantocatchup.“Iwouldn’teataworm,period,”saidJoe.“Soyoucan’tgobythat.”“Yeah,butifyourmothertoldyoutogooutandpicksomedaisiesforthe

suppertable,wouldyoupickthedaisiesoffamanurepile?”“Mymotherwouldn’taskme.She’daskmysister.”“YouknowwhatImean.”

***

AlanandTomandJoeleanedontheirshovelsunderatreeintheapple

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orchard,watchingthewormstheyhaddugsquirmingonaflatrock.

“Nothim,”saidTom,pointingtoanightcrawler.“Whynot?”“Lookathim.He’dchokeadog.”“Geez!”explodedAlan.“YouexpectustopickoneBillycanjustgulp

down,likeanantoranit?”“Gulping’snoteating,”saidJoe.“Theworm’sgottobebigenoughso

Billyhastocutitintobitesandeatitwithafork.Offaplate.”“It’sthisoneornothing,”saidAlan,pickingupthenightcrawler.Tomconsideredthematter.ItwouldbemorefunwatchingBillytryingto

eatthenightcrawler.Hegrinned.Boy,itwashuge!Aregularpython.WaittillBillysawit.

“Weletyouchoosewheretodig,”saidAlan.

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Afterall,thoughtTom,Billycouldn’texpecttowinfiftydollarsbyjustgulpingdownafewmeaslylittlebabyworms.

“Allright.Comeon.”Heturnedandstartedbacktowardthebarns,dragginghisshovel.

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III

TrainingCamp

SIX,seven,eight,nine,ten!”Billywasdoingpush-upsinthedesertedhorsebarn.Hewasn’tworried

abouteatingthefirstworm.Butpeoplewerealwaysdaringhimtodothings,andhe’dfounditwasbettertolookahead,totrytofigurethingsout,gethimselfready.LastwinterAlanhaddaredhimtosleepoutallnightintheigloothey’dbuiltinTom’sbackyard.Whynot?Billyhadthoughttohimself.Whatcouldhappen?Aboutmidnight,huddledshiveringunderhisblanketsinthedarkness,he’dbeguntowonderifheshouldgiveupandgohome.Hisfeetfeltlikeachingstonesinhisboots;evenhistongue,insidehismouth,wascold.Buthalfanhourlater,ashewasstubbornlydancingaboutoutsideinthemoonlighttowarmhimself,Tom’sdogMarthahadcomealongwithsixotherdogs,allinapack,andBillyhadcoaxedthemintotheiglooandblockedthedoorwithanorangecrate,andafterthedogshadstoppedwrestlingandnippingandbarkingandsniffingaround,they’dallgonetosleepinaheapwithBillyinthemiddle,aswarmasanonioninastew.

Buthehadn’tbeenabletothinkofanythingspecialtodotopreparehimselfforeatingaworm,sohewasjustlimberingupingeneral—push-ups,kneebends,jumpingjacks—red-faced,perspiring.

Nearby,onanorangecrate,he’dsetoutbottlesofketchupandWorchestershiresauce,jarsofpiccalilliandmustard,aboxofcrackers,saltandpeppershakers,alemon,asliceofcheese,hismother’stincinnamon-and-sugarshaker,aboxofKleenex,ajarofmaraschinocherries,somehorseradish,andaplastichoneybear.

Tom’sheadappearedaroundthedoor.“Ready?”Billyscrambledup,brushingbackhishair.“Yeah.”

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“TARAHHHHHHHHH!”Tomflungthedooropen;Alanmarchedincarryingacoveredsilver

platterinbothhands,Joeslouchingalongbesidehimwithanapkinoveronearm,noddingandsmilingobsequiously.Tomdraggedanotherorangecrateoverbesidethefirst;Alansetthesilverplatteronit.

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“Achair,”criedAlan.“Achairforthemonshure!”“Comeon,”saidBilly.“Cuttheclowning.”Tomfoundanoldmilkingstoolinoneofthehorsestalls.Joedusteditoff

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withhisnapkin,showinghisteeth,andthenusheredBillyontoit.“Luddiesandgintlemin!”shoutedAlan.“Iprezintmymusterpiece:Vurm

alaMud!”Hesweptthecoverofftheplatter.“Awrgh!”criedBillyrecoiling.

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IV

TheFirstWorm

THEhugenightcrawlersprawledlimplyinthecenteroftheplatter,brownandsteaming.

“Boiled,”saidTom.“Weboiledit.”Billystormedaboutthebarn,kickingbarrelsandposts,arguing.“Anight

crawlerisn’taworm!Ifitwasaworm,it’dbecalledaworm.Anightcrawler’sanightcrawler.”

FinallyJoeranofftogethisfather’sdictionary:

nightcrawlern:EARTHWORM;esp:alargeearthwormfoundonthesoilsurfaceatnight

Billykickedabarrel.Itstillwasn’tfair;hedidn’tcarewhatanydictionarysaid;everybodyknewthedifferencebetweenanightcrawlerandaworm—lookatthething.Yergh!ItwasasbigasasouvenirpencilfromtheEmpireStateBuilding!Yugh!Hepokeditwithhisfinger.

Alansaidthey’dagreedrightatthestartthatheandJoecouldchoosetheworms.IfBillywasgoingtocheat,thebetwasoff.Hegotupandstartedforthedoor.Heguessedhehadotherthingstodobesidesarguealldaywithafink.

SoTomtookBillyasideintoahorsestallandputhisarmaroundBilly’sshouldersandtalkedtohimaboutGeorgeCunningham’sbrother’sminibike,andhowtheycouldrideitonthetrailunderthepowerlinesbehindOdell’sfarm,upanddownthehills,boundingoverrocks,rhum-rhum.Sure,itwasabigworm,butit’donlybeacouplemorebites.DidhewanttoloseaminibikeoverTwobites?Slopenoughmustardandketchupandhorseradishonitandhewouldn’teventasteit.

“Yeah,”saidBilly.“Icouldprobablyeatthisone.ButIgottoeatfifteen.”

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“Youcan’tquitnow,”saidTom.“Lookatthem.”HenoddedatAlanandJoe,waitingbesidetheorangecrates.“They’lltelleverybodyyouwerechicken.It’llbealloverschool.Comeon.”

HeledBillybacktotheorangecrates,sathimdown,tiedthenapkinaroundhisneck.

Alanflourishedtheknifeandfork.“Wouldmonshurelikeeetcarvedlingthviseorcrussvise?”“Kitchip?”askedJoe,showinghisteeth.“Cutitout,”saidTom.“Here.”Hegloppedketchupandmustardand

horseradishonthenightcrawler,squeezedonafewdropsoflemonjuice,andsaltedandpepperedit.

Billyclosedhiseyesandopenedhismouth.“Ouwootin.”Tomslicedofftheendofthenightcrawlerandforkeditup.Butjustashe

wasabouttopokeitintoBilly’sopenmouth,Billyclosedhismouthandopenedhiseyes.

“No,letmedoit.”Tomhandedhimthefork.Billygazedatthedrippingketchupand

mustard,thinking,Awrgh!It’sallrighttalkingabouteatingworms,butdoingit!?!

Tomwhisperedinhisear.“Minibike.”“Glug.”Billypokedtheforkintohismouth,chewedfuriously,gulped!…

gulped!…Hiseyescrossed,swam,squinchedshut.Heflappedhisarmswildly.Andthen,openinghiseyes,hegrinnedbeatificallyupatTom.

“Superb,Gaston.”Tomcutanotherpiece,ketchuped,mustarded,salted,peppered,

horseradished,andlemonedit,andhandedtheforktoBilly.Billysluggeditdown,smackinghislips.Andsotheyproceeded,nowsprinklingoncinnamonandsugarorabitofcheese,somecrackercrumbsorWorcestershiresauce,untiltherewasnothingontheplatebutafewstraydabsofketchupandmustard.

“Vell,”saidBilly,standingupandwipinghismouthwithhisnapkin.“So.Vearedonemitdefirstcurse.Nawseconds?”

“Lemmelookinyourmouth,”saidAlan.“Yeah,”saidJoe.“Seeifheswalloweditall.”“Soitinly,soitinly,”saidBilly.“Lukeaslongasyouvant.”

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AlanandJoescrutinizedtheinsideofhismouth.“Okay,okay,”saidTom.“Leavehimalonenow.Comeon.Onedown,

fourteentogo.”“How’dittaste?”askedAlan“Gute,gute,”saidBilly.“Ver’fine,ver’fine.Hoohoo.”Heflappedhis

armslikeabigbirdandbegantohoparoundthebarn,crying,“Gute,gute.Ver’fine,ver’fine.Gute,gute.”

AlanandJoeandTomlookedworried.“Uh,yeah—gute,gute.Howyoufeeling,Billy?”Tomasked.“Yeah,stopflappingaroundandcometellushowyou’refeeling,”said

Joe.

TheyhuddledtogetherbytheorangecratesasBillyhoppedaroundandaroundthem,flappinghisarms.

“Gute,gute.Ver’fine,ver’fine.Hoohoo.”Alanwhispered,“He’scrackers.”Joeedgedtowardthedoor.“Don’tlethimseewe’reafraid.Crazypeople

arelikedogs.Iftheyseeyou’reafraid,they’llattack.”“Itcouldn’tbe,”whisperedTom,standinghisground.“Oneworm?”“Gute,gute,”screechedBilly,hoppinghigherandhigheranddrooling

fromthemouth.“Comeon,”whisperedJoetoTom.“Hey,Billy!”burstoutTomsuddenlyinahearty,quaveringvoice.“Cutit

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out,willyou?Iwanttoaskyousomething.”Billy’sarmsflappedslower.HetiptoedmenacinglyaroundTom,hishead

cockedononeside,hischeekspuffedout.Tomhuggedhimself,chucklingnervously.

“Heh,heh.Cutitout,willyou,Billy?Heh,heh.”Billypounced.JoeandAlanfled,thebarndoorbangingbehindthem.

Billyrolledonthefloor,helplesswithlaughter.Tomclamberedup,brushinghimselfoff.“Didyouseetheirfaces?”Billysaid,laughing.“Climbingovereach

otheroutthedoor?Oh!Geez!Joewaspaleasanonion.”“Yeah,”saidTom.“Ha,ha.Youfooledthem.”“Ho!Geez!”Billysatup.Thenhecrawledovertothedoorandpeered

outthroughaknothole.“Lookatthem,peekingupoverthestonewall.Watchthis.”

Thedoorswungslowlyopen.Screeching,Billyhoppedontothedoorsill!—intotheyard!—upontoa

stump!—splashintoapuddle!—flappinghisarms,rollinghishead.AlanandJoegallopedupthehillthroughthehighgrass,yelling,“Herehe

comes!Getoutoftheway!”AndthenBillystoppedhopping,andclimbinguponthestump,calledin

ashrill,girlishvoice,“Oh,boy-oys,whereareyougo-ing?Idsomefingtareyou,iddleboys?”

AlanandJoestoppedandlookedback.“Idoodoughinghome,iddleboys?”yelledBilly.“Idootared?”“Who’sscared,youlunk?”calledAlan.“Yeah,”yelledJoe.“IguessIcangohomewithoutbeingcalledscared,if

Iwantto.”“Butain’tooinadawfulhur-ry?”shoutedBilly.“IjustrememberedIwassupposedtohelpmymotherwashwindowsthis

afternoon,”saidAlan.“That’sall.”Heturnedandstartedupthroughthemeadow,hishandsinhispockets.

“Yeah,”saidJoe.“Me,too.”HetrudgedafterAlan.

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V

TheGatheringStorm

ALANandJoestoppedintheorchardbythepileoffreshdirt.“Youthinkhe’llbeabletodoit?”askedAlan,bitinghisthumbnail.“Idon’tknow,”saidJoe.“Hecan’tdoit,”saidAlan.“Howcouldanybodyeatfifteenworms?My

father’llkillme.Fiftydollars?Heatethatoneawfuleasy.”“Forgetit,”saidJoe.“Ifhedoesn’tgiveuphimself,I’llfiguresomething

out.Wecouldspikethenextwormwithpepper.He’deatonepieceandthenanother,talkingtoTom—Thenallofasuddenhe’dsneeze:ka-chum!Thenhe’dsneezeagain:ka-chum!Thenagain:ka-chumka-chum!Afaintlookofpanicwouldcreepoverhisface;he’sbeginningtowonderifhe’lleverstop.Heclutcheshisstomach;hiseyesbegintowater.Ka-chum!Ka-chum!”

“Billy’sawfulstubborn,”saidAlan.“Evenifitwaskillinghim,hemightnotgiveup.”

“Ka-chum!Ka-chum!”criedJoe.“Hefallstothefloor.Ibendoverhim.‘Gawd,’Isay.‘Callhismother.It’sthetroglodycrosis.’Hiseyesbleatupatme.Ka-chum!”

“Rememberthatbusinesslastsummer?”saidAlan,gnawingonhisthumbnail.“Whenitwasninety-fivedegreesintheshadeandIdaredhimtoputonallhiswinterclothesandhisfather’sraccooncoatandhisskibootsandwalkupanddownMainStreetallafternoon?”

“Ka-chum!Ka-chum!”Theywentoffthroughtheorchard,Joesneezing,sighing,rollinghiseyes

—pretendingtobeBillysufferingfromadoseofpepperedworm;AlanmoaningtohimselfabouthowstubbornBillycouldbe—fiftydollars?

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VI

TheSecondWorm

BILLYsighed.Ontheplatebeforehimlaythelastbiteofwormunderadaubofketchupandmustard.

“What’sthematter?”askedTom.“Idon’tknow,”sighedBilly.Hepickeduptheforkagain.“Doesittastebad?”“No,”saidBillywearily.“Ijusttasteketchupandmustardmostly.Butit

makesmefeelsortofsick.EvenbeforeIeatit.Justthinkingaboutit.”HesighedagainandthenglancedatJoeandAlan,talkingtoeachotherinwhispersoverbythewindow.

“Whatareyouwhisperingabout?”“Nothing.”“Thenwhatareyouwhisperingfor?”“Nothing.It’snotimportant.JustsomethingJoe’sfathertoldhimlast

night.”“What?”“Comeon.Finishup.Itwasnothing.We’llmissthecartoons.”Billyshuthiseyesandpoppedthelastpieceofwormintohismouth,

chewed,gagged,clappedhishandsoverhismouth,gulped!gulped!toppledbackwardofftheorangecrate.Sprawlingonhisbackinthechaff,hegazedpeacefullyupattheceiling.

JoeandAlanstoodoverhim.“Openup.”Billyopenedhismouth.“Wider.Seeany,Joe?”“Naw,heswallowedit.”“Okay,let’sgo.”

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VII

RedCrashHelmetsandWhiteJumpSuits

AFTERthemovies,TomwalkedhomewithBilly.“TomorrowI’llrollthecrawlerincornmealandfryit.Likeatrout.”“It’snotreallythetaste,”saidBilly.“It’smorethethought.WhenIstart

toeatit,eventhoughit’ssmotheredinketchupandmustardandgratedcheese,Ican’tstopthinkingworm.Worm,worm,worm,worm,worm,worm:

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gagglesofwormsinbaitboxes,drownedwormsdryinguponsidewalks,awormsquirmingasthefishhookgoresintohim,thesoggyendofawormdragglingoutofadeadfish’smouth,robinsyankingwormsoutofalawn.Ican’tstopthinkingworm.”

“Yeah,butifIfryitincornmeal,itwon’tlooklikeacrawler,”saidTom.“I’llputparsleyaroundit,andsomeslicesoflemon.Andthenyoucanconcentrate,thinkfish.Allthetimeyou’rewaitinginthebarn,allthetimeyou’reeatingit,keepsayingtoyourself:fishfishfishfishfishfishfishfish;hereIameatingfish,goodfish.

“Trout,salmon,flounder,perch,I’llridemyminibikeintochurch.Dace,tuna,haddock,trout,Wait’llyouheartheministershout.

“Fishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfish.

“Shark,haddock,sucker,eel,I’llracemyfatherinhisautomobile.Eel,flounder,bluegill,shark,We’llracealldaytillafterdark.”

Billycheeredup.“Thinkhowthey’dallstare.I’drevuptheaisle,ziparoundthefront

pews,downasideaisleunderthestained-glasswindows.Myparentswouldkillme.ReverendYarder’dpeerdownoverthebiblestand.‘William,’he’dcry.‘William,youtakethatenginethingoutofherethisminute!’”

“Yeah,andthenthey’dcomechasingoutafterus,”saidTom.Billylaughed.“Wavingtheirarmsandyelling.Andwe’dleadthem

zigzagroundandroundandinandoutamongthegravestonesandmonumentsinthecemeteryandthenroaroffdowntheSandgateRoad,leavingthemdrapedovertombs,pantingandshakingtheirfists.”

“Huphup!”yelledTom,dancingaroundandboxingtheair.“AndthatMondaywe’dsmuggleitintoclassdisguisedasRaymond

Dwelley,becausehe’ssofat,andhideitinthecoatcloset.AndthenwhenMillyButlersaidanything,anythingatall,evensomethinglike‘excuseme,’

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orifsheevensniffed,we’ddumpawholebottleofinkoverherheadandrunforthecoatcloset,overturningchairsanddesksbehindustoslowupMrs.Howard.She’dcomeafterus,fumingandshoutingthreats,andsuddenlythedoorsofthecoatclosetwouldslamopen,andoutwe’droaronourminibikeinblood-redcrashhelmetsandwhitejumpsuits,ourscarvesstreamingoutbehindus!Andwe’droarroundandroundtheclassroomwhileMrs.Howardkneltamongtheoverturneddesksandchairs,sobbinghelplesslyintoherhands,andthenrhum-rhumoutthedoorandupthehall,thumbingournosesatthemonitors.Brackety-brackety-bracketyupthestairs,stiff-armingtacklers,intoMr.Simmons’soffice—upontohisdesk!Broom!Broom!—abackfireintohisface,andzoooom!outthewindowashetopplesbackwardinhischairinahurricaneofquizpapersandreportcards.Andthen,crunch,landingonthedriveway,weroaroffdownthehighwaytoBenningtonandjointheNavysoMrs.HowardandMr.Simmonsandourparentscan’tpunishus.”

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VIII

TheThirdWorm

TOMranoutofthekitchenofBilly’shouse,holdingthesizzlingfryingpanoutinfrontofhimwithbothhands,thescreendoorbangingbehindhim.

Alanthrewopenthebarndoorwhenhesawhimcoming.Tomthumpedthefryingpandownontheorangecrate.

“There!”hesaidbreathlessly.“DonetoaT.Lookather,allgolden-brownandsizzling.Itlooksgoodenoughtoeat.”

“Yeah,”saidBilly.Hepokedthewormwithhisfork.Tomtookoffthepot-holderglovehewaswearing.“Thinkfish,”hesaid.

“Remember:thinkfish.

“Trout,salmon,flounder,perch,I’llridemyminibikeintochurch.Eel,salmon,bluegill,trout,Wait’llyouheartheministershout.

“Clam,flounder,tuna,sucker,Lookoutherewecome,oldMrs.Tucker.Lobster,blackbass,oysterstew,TheregoesNewOrleans,herecomesPeru.”

HeleanedoverBillyandwhisperedinhisear,“Fishfishfishfishfishfishfishfishfish,goon,takeabite,fishfishfishfishfish,okay,secondbite,fish,fish,fish,fish….”

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IX

ThePlotters

GEEZ,youthinkit’llwork?”saidAlantoJoe.“Supposeitdoesn’t?Hedidn’tseemtopaymuchattentiontoday.”

“Don’tworry,”saidJoe.“Wegothimthinking.Ittakestime.Igotitalldopedout.Trustme.”

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X

TheFourthWorm

BILLYatesteadily,grimacing,rubbinghisnose,spreadingonmorehorseradishsauce.Tombentoverhim,hissinginhisear,“Fishfishfishfishfishfish.”

Billypaused,watchingAlanandJoewhisperingbythedoor.Heswishedthelastbiteroundandroundintheketchupandmustard.Allofasuddenhesaid,“That’snotfair.Theycan’tactlikethatanymore.EverytimeIswallowtheyleanforwardasiftheyexpectedmetokeeloverorsomething!AndthenwhenIdon’t,theylooksurprisedandshrugtheirshouldersandnudgeeachother.”

“Comeon,”saidJoe.“Cutitout.Wecanwatchyou,forcripes’sake.We’rejuststandingoverherebythewindowwatchingyou.”

“No,you’renot,”saidBilly.“You’rewhispering.AndactingasifyouexpectedsomethingtohappeneverytimeIswallow.”

“It’snothing,”saidJoe.“Forgetit.Look,we’llturnaroundandlookoutthewindowwhileyouswallow.”

“Whatdoyoumean,it’snothing?”saidBilly.“What’snothing?”“Oh,comeon,”saidAlan.“It’sjustsomethingJoe’sfathertoldhimthe

othernight.It’snothing.”“What?What?”“It’lljustworryyou,”saidAlan.“It’scrazy.It’snothing.Forgetit.”Billytorethenapkinawayfromhisthroat.“Tellme!”“It’snothing,”saidJoe.“Youknowhowmyfatheris.He’salwaysyelling

aboutsomething.”“Tellmeorit’salloff.”“Well,look,it’snothing,butthenightbeforelast,IwastellingJanie

aboutyoueatingthewormsandmyfatherwasontheporchandheardus.So

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hethrewdownhisnewspaperandsays,‘Joseph!’SoIsays,‘Yes,Pa?’Andhesays,‘Haveyouetaworm,Joseph?’Andthenhegrabbedmyshouldersandshookmetillmyhandsdancedattheendsofmyarmslikeapuppet’s.‘It’sforyourowngood,’hesays.SoIstutteredout,‘It’ssssnnnnotgoingtoddddomeanyggggoodifIIIIIsssshaketopppppieces,isit?’Janiewaswailing;mymotherwaschewingheraproninthedoorway.‘Alfred,’shecries,‘what’shedone?You’llderacinatehim.HashehauleddowntheAmericanflagatschoolandeatenitagain?Hashe—’”

“Sowhat’sthepoint?”yelledBilly.“Gettothepoint!What’sitallhavetodowithme?”

“I’mcomingtoit,”saidJoe,wipinghisnose.“ButIwantedtoshowyouhowimportantitwas,myfathernearlykillingmeandall.”

Hesneezed.AndthenAlanbegantosneezeandfinallyhadtohobbleoffintooneofthehorsestalls,hugginghisstomach,torecover.

“Anyway,”saidJoe,wipinghisnoseagainandhitchinguphisLevi’s,“somyfathertoldmymotherhethoughtI’deatenaworm.‘Awhat?’saysmymother,droppingherapronandclutchingthesidesofherhead.‘Aworm,’saysmyfather,noddingsolemnly.Somymotherfainted,collapsedallhelter-skelterrightthereinthedoorway,andlaystill,hertonguelollingoutofhermouth,herredhairspreadoutbeautifullyoverthedoorsill.SoI—”

“Willyoucutitout?”Billyyelled.“Whocaresaboutyourmother?WhatdoesithavetodowithME?”

“Ithinkhe’slying,”saidTom.“Whoeverheardofsomeone’smotherfaintingandhertonguehangingout?”

“AllRIGHT!”yelledJoeapoplectically,stampingaround.“ALLRIGHT!NowIwon’ttell.Youcandie,BillyForrester,andyou’llhavetocarryhimhome,TomGrout,allbyyourself!Nobodysaystome:‘Whocaresaboutyourmother.’ALLRIGHT!I’mgoing.Alan,”heyelled,“they’reinsultingmymother.I’mgoing.”

“Don’t,”saidAlan,runningoutofthehorsestallandgrabbingJoebytheshirttail.“Don’t.Yougottotellhim.Evenyourmother’dsayso.Mine,too.Nomatterwhathesaid.Ain’titamatteroflifeanddeath?”

“Iwon’t,”saidJoe,startingtowardthedoor.Alanpulledhimback.“Yougotto.HowlonghaveweknownpoorBill?

Six,sevenyears?Foroldtime’ssake,Joe,becausewewerealloncein

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kindergartentogether.Thinkoftheagonyhe’llface,Joe,thepainandthebloodandthegore.”

Billywasonhiskneesbytheorangecrate,wringinghishands,notdaringtointerfere.ButwhenJoeglancedsullenlybackathim,hewhispered,“Please,Joe?Foroldtime’ssake?”

“Well,willyouapologizeforinsultingmymother?”

“Ido,”saidBilly.“Ido.Iapologize.”

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SoAlanandJoebegantosneezeagainandthistimehadtobendoverandputtheirheadsbetweentheirlegstorecover.

Tom,whohadbeenwatchingthemsuspiciously,tryingtomakeoutwhatwasgoingon,startedtosaysomething.“Shutup!”hissedBillyfiercely,turningonhim.“Youkeepoutofit!”

SoJoewentonwithhisstory:howhismotherhadbeencarriedupstairstoherroom;howthedoctorhadcome,shakinghishead;howhisaunthadsobbed,pullingdownalltheshadesintheirhouse;howthatmorninghismotherhadfinallycomedownstairsforthefirsttimeleaningonhisaunt’sarm,paleandsorrowful;how…

“Yeah,”saidTom.“Sure.Sowhy?Whatdoeseatingwormsdotoyou?”“Nobodywilltellme,”saidJoe,openinghiseyeswide.“It’sbeenthree

daysnow,andnobody’llsay.It’sjustlikethetimemycousinLucygotcaughtinthebackseatofherfather’sCheveroletwiththeencyclopediasalesman.Nobody’lltellmewhytherewassuchanuproar.”Hewipedhismouth.“Butonething’ssure:it’sworsethanpoison.Probably—”

“Crap,”saidTom.“Oh,yeah?”saidJoe.ButthenheandAlanhadanothersneezingfit,sprawlinghelplessly

againsteachother.“Lookatthem,”saidTomtoBilly.“They’renotsneezing—they’re

laughing.Comeon.Eatthelastpieceandlet’sgetoutofhere.”“Youreallythinkso?”saidBillydoubtfully.Thesneezingdidlookan

awfullotlikegiggling.“Sure.Lookatthem.”TomgaveAlanandJoeashove.Theycollapsedinaheap,sneezing

uncontrollably.Billywatchedthem.Yeah,sure,theyweren’tsneezing—theywere

laughing….Weren’tthey?“Hayfever,”gaspedAlan,“hayfever.”“Aw,youneverhadhayfeverbefore,”saidTom.“Howaboutyesterday

orthedaybefore?Comeon,Billy.Openup.”SoBilly,halfbelievingTomandhalfnot,glancingdoubtfullyatAlanand

Joe,allowedTomtopokethelastbiteofwormintohismouthandleadhimoutofthebarn.

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***

AlanandJoesatup.“Itdidn’twork,”saidAlan.Joebegantobrushthechaffoutofhishair.“Youwait.Hewasn’tsure.Tomwas,butheisn’teatingtheworms.You

wait.Billy’sworried.Hewasbefore,that’swhyhesaidhefeltlikehewasgoingtothrowup.Butnowhe’sreallyworried.SupposeIwasn’tlying?DidyouseehisfacewhenIsaidmyfathershookme?Ithoughthiseyeswouldbugrightoutofhishead.”

Alanlaughed.“Oh,geez,yeah.Andwhenyousaidyourmotherfainted.”Joestoppedbrushingthechaffoutofhishair.“Exceptwhy’dyoulaugh

somuch,forcripes’sake?Ifyou’dkeptastraightfaceevenTomwouldn’thaveguessed.”

“Aw,youlaughedfirst.Whatdoyoumean?”“Me?Ilaughedfirst?Ididnot.”“Youdidso.Youlaughedwhenheyelledatyouthefirsttime.Youwiped

yournose.”Theywentoffthroughthemeadow,arguing.

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XI

Tom

BILLYpushedthefryingpantowardTom.“Okay,fink.Ifit’snotsupposedtohurtyou,youeatapiece.”“Oh,no,”saidAlan.HeandJoewerelyingontheirstomachsinthe

hayloft,watching.“Ifheeatsapiece,youlose,Billy.Thebetwasyouweregoingtoeatfifteenworms,notyouandhimtogether.”

Billydidn’tlookup,hiseyesfixedgrimlyonTom.“Allright.ThenI’llgodiganotherworm,justforhim.He’ssobig,

tellingme:‘Hurryup,hurryup,Ican’twaitaroundallday—don’tbeasissy.’Allright.Now—”

“Ididn’tsaysissy,”saidTomuncomfortably.“Ijustsaidifthefirstfourwormsdidn’tkillyou,thisonewouldn’t.Ican’thelpitifmymothertoldmetobehomebytwotoday.She’sgoingshopping,soIhavetomindmybrother.”

“Yeah?”saidBilly.“Okay.Sowe’lljusthavetimeforyoutoeatawormbeforeyougo.Comeon.Where’stheshovel?”

“Here,”saidAlanfromtheloft.“Webrunganextratoday.”Awormdangledsquirmingfromhisfingers.HedroppedittoBilly.“It’snotcooked,”saidTom.“I’lldoit,I’lldoit,”saidJoe,scramblingdowntheladder.Hetookthe

wormfromBillyandranout,thenranbackandgrabbedthefryingpan.Tomsatdownonanoverturnedpailtowait.Hedidn’twanttoeatany

worm.Itwasn’thisbet.Heglancedatthedoorcreakinginthewind.Maybeheshouldmakeabreakforit.

Ofcourse,hecouldseeBilly’spoint.Billydidn’tbelieveJoe’sstory,butstill…he’dfinditreassuringifTomatesomeworm,too.

“He’lleatit,”BillywassayingtoAlan.“Ifhedon’t,he’schicken,”saidAlan.“Afterallhistalk.”

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Whydon’tIeatit?thoughtTom.Imean,it’sayuckythingtodo,butitwouldn’tkillme.

Hescratchedhisneck,shiftinghisseatonthepail.Idon’tknow,thoughtTom.Ijustwon’t,Iguess.Hegagged,imaginingwhatitwouldbeliketobitedownonasoft,fat,

boiledworm.Heglancedatthedooragain.Billykickedthedoorshut.“Leaveitopen,”saidTom.“Why?”“BecauseIsaidso.”“Yeah?Well,youdon’townthisbarn.”“Neitherdoyou.Yourfatherdoes.”Billyrubbedhisnose,watchingTom,figuring:He’stryingtopickafight

sohewon’thavetoeattheworm.“Okay.”Billyopenedthedoorandsetabrickagainstit.Tomshiftedhisseatonthepailagain.Hecouldn’tstopthinkingabout

whatitwouldbeliketobitedownonasoft,fat,boiledworm.Hescratchedhisear.WhodidBillythinkhewas,tryingtoorderpeoplearound,tellingthemwhattheyhadtoeatandall?Billywasn’tanybody’sfather.Tombegantofeelput-uponandindignantandstubborn.

Ascreendoorslammed:Joecomingbackwiththeworm.Tomlickedhislips.HeheardJoerunningacrossthebarnyardtowardthem…

“Billy!”Alanshouted.BillyspunaroundjustintimetocatchaglimpseofTompeltingoutthe

door,thedoorbangingshut.Heflungtothewindow:Joesprawledinthemiddleofthebarnyardonhisback,Tomwasclamberingoverthewallintothemeadow,thefryingpanlayupsidedownbesidethehorsetrough.

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XII

TheFifthWorm

LOOK,saidBillytohimself,staringdownatthefriedwormontheplate.Besensible.Howcanithurtme?I’veeatenfouralready.Tomwasjustscared.He’slikethat.Heeggsotherpeopleon,butheneverwantstodoanythinghimself.

“Giveup?”askedAlan.“Comeon,”saidJoe.“Wehaven’tgotallday.”“Fivemoreminutes,”saidAlan.“ThenIwin.”“There’snotimelimit,”saidBilly.Forthefirsttimehewonderedwhat

he’ddoifhelost.Wherecouldheevergetfiftydollars?Buthowcouldheeattenmore?Big,fat,ugly,soft,brownthings.Hecouldn’taskhisfatherforfiftydollars.

HeheardAlanandJoewhisperingtogether.“He’sgonnaquit.”“Yeah.Iknewhe’dnevermakeitwhenIbetwithhim.Hetalksbig.Him

andTomarejustthesame.Buttheyneverdoanything.”Billygrittedhisteeth,gloppedonketchup,mustard,salt,gratedcheese,

whateverwasonthecrate,anything,everything,andthengrabbedupthewormandtoreitapartwithhishands,stuffingitintohismouth,chewingandchewingandswallowing,gulping….

Then,panting,hereachedoutandwipedhisgooeyhandsonAlan’strousersandgrinnedmessilyupathimandsaid,

“There.Five.”

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XIII

NothingtoWorryAbout

THATnightAlanaskedhisfathertoshowhimfiftydollars.Afterthat,hecouldn’tsleep,tossingandturninginhisrumpledbed.

Supposehelost?Hecouldjustseehimselfaskinghisfatherforfiftydollars—beggingforit,onhisknees,tearsstreamingdownhischeeks;andthen,atThanksgivingdinner,cringingwhileallhisauntsandunclesandcousinsroaredoverhisfather’sstoryof“Alan’sbet.”

Heslidoutofbedandsnuckdownthecarpetedhalltohisparents’bedroom.

“Yougottowakehim,Mrs.O’Hara,yougotto,”hewhisperedintothephone.“It’sanemergency.Igottospeaktohim.”Pause.“Igotahoarsethroat,Mrs.O’Hara,that’swhyI’mwhispering.Please.”Pause.“Gee,thanks,Mrs.O’Hara.No,Iwon’tevercallthislateagain,it’sjustit’s—”

Hewaited,gnawingathisthumbnail.Aboardcreakedonthestairs.Hestiffened.Silence.

“Whatd’yawant?”saidJoesuddenlyoverthetelephone.“Geez,Iwassleeping.Youwokemeup.”

“Joe,supposeIlose?Myfather’llneverletmetakethemoneyoutofmysavingsaccount.Iknowhewon’t.YouthinkI’lllose,Joe?Huh?Huh?Joe,tellme.Giveittomestraight.Joe,Igottoknow.Ican’tsleep.”

Joesighed.“Look.Itoldyouthisafternoon.Yougotnothingtoworryabout.He’scracking.Sure,heatethatonetoday.Sure,hemight—”

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XIV

ThePainandtheBloodandtheGore

FOURblocksawayBillysuddenlyfoundhimselfinabrightlylitbutchershop,jostledbyacrowdofenormous,pigeon-breasted,middle-agedwomen,shoutingtomakehimselfheardoverthedinoftheirchatterandtheroarsofbutchersorderingabouttheweasel-facedboyswhowerelugginghaunchesandtubsofmeatinandoutoftherefrigeratorroomintherear.ThenabutchersawBillyjumpingandjumpingamongthewomenandaskedforhisorderandBillygaveit,andsuddenlyhewasshovedupclosetothechoppingblockandthebutcherslappeddowntenblackwormsasbigassnakesandBillytriedtosaytheyweretoobig,he’dchokeonthem,butthebutchercouldn’thearhimoverthethumpsofhiscleaverandthedinofthewomenandthehoarseshoutsoftheotherbutchers,andbeforeBillyknewwhatwashappening,hewasseatedatatableinLongchampsRestaurantonTimesSquareinNewYorkCitywithalargenapkintiedunderhischin,andawaiterwasuncoveringaplatteronwhichlayoneofthehugeblackworms,coiledsnakily,ared,redrosewobblinginthecenterofitscoils.

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“HowcanIeverfinishit?”saidBillyandcutintoamammothcoil.Steamingpinkjuicefloodedout.Billyateandateandateandateandthenlooked…and…and…hemusthaveeatenmorethanthat?Andthenhelookedagainandtherewasnoholeatall.Hehadeatenandeatenandeaten…nothingatall!

Andthenhefeltsomethingcoldonhisanklesandlookedunderthetableclothandthereweretwomoreofthehugewormswoundaroundandaroundhisankles.Andthenhefeltsomethingweighingdownhisarmandhelookedandtherewasanotherwormwoundaroundhisarm,glaringhungrily

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athimwithitsbloodshooteyes,andfromeverywhereinthevastroom,windingbetweenthetables,waitersapproachedcarryinghugesilverservingplatters….

***

Billyopenedhiseyes.Forthefirstmoment,inthemoonlightfloodinghisbedroom,histwobare

feet,stickingupoutofthebottomofthecovers,lookedliketwohugewhiteworms’heads.

Andthenherealizedthathehadbeendreamingandsankbackontohispillow,thenightmaremeltingaway.Therewerenohugewormsasbigaspythons,hewashomeinbed,hisparentswereasleepinthenextroom….

Hisstomachrumbled.ButsupposeJoehadn’tbeenlying?Thehairstooduponthebackofhisneck.OrsupposeJoehadmadeitallupbuthadbeenrightanyway,without

knowingit?Ashutterbanged.Billyglancedoutthewindowandsawthemoonriding

amongthetossingleaves.Hisstomachrumbledandgurgled.Hegroaned.Supposehewasdying?He’dheardofpeoplewakingupinthemiddleof

thenightwithpainsintheirstomachs,andthen,asthewindowsturnedgrayinthedawn,theydied.Toadstools,souredlobster,taintedpork.

Thatwasapain!Heclutchedhisstomach,andgroaning,halffell,halfstaggeredoutofbed

andhobbledtowardthedoor,bentdouble.Maybetherewasanantidote.Hewhimpered.Itdidn’thurtalot,butnothingeverdidtobeginwith,didit?

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XV

3:15A.M.

HISmotherreachedoutandswitchedonthelight.“Whatkindofpain,Billy?”

Hestoodbesidethebed,clutchinghisstomach.“Inmystomach.Oooo,thereitgoesagain,Ithink.”

“Didyoueatsomethingbeforebed?”Shewaspullingonherbathrobe.“John,John.”Sheshookherhusband’s

shoulder.Hemumbledsleepily.“Didyoueatcandyorsomethingbeforebed,Billy?”

“Worms,”groanedBilly.“Worms?John!John!Billy,whatkindofworms?”“Regularworms,nightcrawlers.”

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Shefelthisforehead,liftedhischintolookinhisface.“Youdon’thaveatemperature.Howmanywormsdidyoueat?”

“Five.Twoboiledandthreefried.Withketchup,mustard,horseradish,salt,pepper,butter.Tomakethemtastebetter.”

“Fried?Ketchup?Tastebetter?John!Wakeup.”“IhadthisbetwithAlan.Ohhhhh.”Hegroanedagain.“Takeyourhandsaway.Wheredoesithurtnow?Showme.”“Itdoesn’treallyhurtsomuchnow.It’sjustrumblingandgurgling

somethingawful.It’s—”“Thenwhyareyougroaning?”askedhisfather,sittingup.“BecauseI’mafraidit’sgoingtostarthurting.DoyouthinkI’mgoingto

die,Daddy?”“Worms?”hisfatherasked.“Ordinaryworms?Earthworms?”Billynodded.“Andhowmanydidyoueatthisevening?”“Onethisafternoon.I’veeatenoneeverydayforthelastfivedays.But

theyweren’tlittleones;theywerenightcrawlers,hugeones,asbigassnakesalmost.”

Hisfatherlaybackdown,pullingthecoversuparoundhisshoulders.“Don’tworry.Eatingonenightcrawleradayforsixweekswouldn’thurtyou.Gobacktobed.It’sprobablyalltheketchupandmustardthat’supsettingyourstomach.Drinkaglassofwarmwater.”

“John,areyousure?”saidBilly’smother.“Itdoesn’tseemtomethatwormscouldbeaveryhealthythingtoeat.John?”

Hisfathersnuggleddeeperunderthecovers.“Ididn’tsayeatingwormswouldturnhimintoanAll-Americanfullback.Ijustsaidtheywouldn’thurthim.Nowlet’sgotosleep.”

Billy’smotherglancedatBilly,shiveringbesidethebedinbarefeetandpajamas,andthenshookherhusbandagain.“John?John,wakeup.IthinkyoushouldcallDr.McGrath.Youdon’treallyknowwhetherornoteatingwormsisharmful.Iknowyoudon’t.”

Billy’sfathergroanedandsatup.“Now,look.IamnotgoingtocallDr.McGrathatthreethirtyinthemorningtoaskifit’sallrightformysontoeatworms.That’sflat.Secondly,IdoknowthatBilly’snotgoingtodiebeforemorning.Ifwormswerepoisonous,whichthey’renot,hewouldhavebeen

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laidupbeforethis.Billy,you’vebeeneatingwormsforfivedays?”Billynodded.“Allright.Andthirdly,IatealivecrayfishwhenIwasincollegeand

havesufferednodiscernibleilleffects.Andfourthly:Iamgoingtosleep.”Billy’smotherslippedherfeetintoherslippers,stoodupandbuttonedher

bathrobe,andthenleanedoverthebedandshookherhusband’sshoulder.“John?John,Iwon’tbeabletosleepuntilyoucall.John?John,whatabouttapewormsorafungus?John?Wakeup.Billy,yougobacktobed.YourfatherwillcallDr.McGrath.John?John?”

Billylayinbedlisteningtohismotherandfatherarguingintheirbedroom.Hecouldonlymakeoutawordhereandthere,usuallywhenhisfatherstartedtoshout,onlytobeshushedimmediatelybyhismother.Billygotsleepierandsleepier.Hisstomachhadstoppedrumblingandgurgling.Itwaswarmandcozyunderthecoversafterstandingonthecoldfloorinhisbarefeet.Then,inthemidstofafoggydrowse,heheardsomeonedialingthephoneinthehalloutsidehisparents’bedroom,andthenhisfathersay,“PoisonControl?”andexplainthecase.

Thentherewasasilence.Billyheardthewaterrunninginthebathroom.Andthenhisfathersaid,“You’resure?Theseweren’tlittleones.Thesewerenightcrawlers.”Pause.“Andnolong-rangeilleffects?”Pause.Hisfatherlaughed.“Abet,Ithink.”

AndthenextthingBillyknew,sunlightwasstreamingthroughhiswindowandEmilywasskippingdownthehallpasthisdoorsinging,

“Halfapoundoftupennyrice,Halfapoundoftreacle,That’sthewaythemoneygoes—”

Hisfathershouteddownthestairs,“Helen,doyouknowwheremygreentiewiththeredstripesis?”

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XVI

TheSixthWorm

BILLYgulpedittriumphantly,serene,untroubled.BythedoorAlanglowered,hismindracing:He’sgonnadoit,he’llwin,

what’llIdo?Fiftydollars.Joesatonanoverturnedpail,whistling,gazingcarelesslyabout…

sneakingaglancenowandthenatBilly.Whathadgonewrong?Whyhadn’thecracked?

Outside,Tomlurkedsheepishlyinthebushesbehindthestonewall,peeringatthebarn.

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XVII

TheSeventhWorm

BILLYateitoffhand,sideways,readingacomicbook.AlanandJoesquattedglumlyinthebarndoor,watchinghim.AsBillywasdaubinghorseradishsauceonthelastbite,Tom’shead

appearedinacornerofthegrimywindow.HewavedtentativelyatBilly.Ignoringhim,Billygulpeddownthelastbite,wipedhismouth,and

tuckinghiscomicbookunderhisarm,strolledairilyoutofthebarn,remarkingoverhisshoulder,“Seeyoutomorrow,fellows.”

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XVIII

TheEighthWorm

WHERE’SJoe?”askedBilly,spreadingmustarddownthelengthofthefriedworm.

“Hewouldn’tcome,”saidAlansullenly.“It’snofairputtingonthatmuchmustard.”

“Ha,ha,”saidBilly.“Whosays?IcanputonasmuchasIlikeofwhateverIlike,andyouknowit.Whywouldn’thecome?”

“HowshouldIknow?”Billyswooshedabitofwormaroundinketchupandhorseradishsauce.“I

knowwhyhedidn’t.”“Yeah.You’resosmart.Bigdeal.”Alancouldn’tgetthefiftydollarsout

ofhishead.Whatwashisfathergoingtosaywhenhetoldhimhe’dbetfiftydollarsandlost?Geez!Hegnawedathisthumbnail.

“Hewouldn’tcomebecauseheknowsI’vewon.HeknowsIcouldeattwentywormsifIhadto.”

“Yeah?Yeah?Well,youain’twonyet.There’sstillseventogo.Youactsobig.Wait’llyoubegintofeelitinyourstomach.Youthinkyouknoweverything.Yeah.You’llsee.Youwait.”

“Ha,ha,”saidBilly.“Youthinkyoucanscaremetalkinglikethat?Phooey.”HestrolledpastAlanoutintothesunlight.

“Hi,”saidTom,poppingupfrombehindabarrel.“Pfffffft!”saidBillydisdainfullyandwalkedon.

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XIX

TheNinthWorm

THAT’Snotaworm!”yelledBilly.“Howcanitbeaworm?Geez,itmustbetwofeetlong!”

“It’saworm,”saidAlanstubbornly.“It’sjustlikealltheothers.Irolleditincornmealandfriedit.”

“It’sovertwofeetlong!”screechedBilly.Heknewsomethingwasup.OtherwiseJoewouldn’thavecomeback,

slouchinginthedoorwaypretendingtobegazingupattheclouds.ButBillynoticedhekeptglancingatAlanandhim.AndTomwaspeeringinthewindowagain.Somethingwasup.

“Look,”saidAlan.“I’llcutit.Youcanseeforyourselfit’saworm.There.See?Comeon.Eatup.Weain’tgotallday.JoeandmehavetogotoShushanwithhisfather.”

Billypokedatthehugewormwithhisfork.Somethingsurewasup.HeatethepieceAlanhadcut,lookingtherestofthewormovercarefullyashechewed.Heateanotherbite.Fauh!He’dforgottentodipitinthehorseradishsauce.

“Comeon,comeon,comeon,”saidAlan.“Yeah,”saidJoe.“Eatup,Billy,wegottogo.”I’llneverbeabletoeatthewholething,thoughtBilly.It’dchokeme;it’s

toomuchyuckatonce.“Half,”hecroaked.“I’lleathalf.Thisissomesortofaringer.There’s

neverbeenawormthislong.”“Okay,”saidAlan.“Thenthebet’soff.Suityourself.Comeon,Joe,he

chickenedout.Let’sgo.”“Allright,allright,”saidBilly,playingfortime.“Thewholething.”“You’llmakeyourselfsick,”saidAlan.He’stooanxious,thoughtBilly.What’sgoingon?

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“Leavehimalone,”saidJoe.“Lethimeatit.It’shisstomach.”He’stryingtocoverforAlan,thoughtBilly.Heateanotherbite.Thenhe

begantoscrapethecornmealcarefullyoffthewormwithhisknife.“Whatareyoudoing?”saidAlan.“IthinkI’llhaveitplaintoday.Nocornmeal.”“That’snotfair!Youcan’t—”“Glue!”screamedBillyallofasudden.“Glue!Yougluedtwocrawlers

together!Geez!Youbunchoflousycheats!Tom!Tom,lookwhattheytriedtopull!Glue!”

Panting,Tombentovertheplate.“You’reright.Geez!”

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Alankickedapailclatteringagainstthewall.“Itoldyouitwouldn’twork!”hescreamedatJoe.

“Allright.Soitdidn’twork.Youcouldn’tthinkofanythingbetter.”“That’scheating!”saidBilly.“Ioughttowinrightnow.Youcheated.”“Fifteenwormsinfifteendays!”yelledJoe.“Youain’twonyet!”“Butyoucheated!”shoutedTom.“Sowhat?”Theyarguedandyelled,stridinghereandthereaboutthebarn,sprawling

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againstposts,flinginguptheirarms,kickingwalls,bangingdownonapailororangecrateandsqueezingtheirheadsbetweentheirhands.

“Itdoesn’tmakeanydifference!”JoeyelledatBilly.“Itdidn’twork!Youdidn’tfallforit!Ifyou’deatenthewholethingandthenfoundoutitwastwowormsgluedtogether,thenyoucouldhaveclaimedtowinbecauseAlanwascheating.”

“Bigmouth!”shoutedAlanfromthehorsestall,wherehewaskickingtheslatsin.“Whothoughtitup?Notme!”

“Whocareswhothoughtitup?”shoutedTom.“It’sstillcheating!”Apiglookedinatthedoorandthenwanderedaway.Joeranoutandstuckhisheadunderthefaucetbythekitchensteps.A

minutelaterhecamerunningbackdripping,yelling,“That’snottrue!”“What’snottrue?”saidBilly,turningaroundfromshoutingatAlan.“Whateveryousaid.”“What’dIsay?”“Itdoesn’tmakeanydifference.You’realiarandacheatandsoanything

yousayisn’ttrue.”“You’recrazy.EvenHitleror—orJacktheRipper—sometimessaid

thingsthatweretrue.It’simpossibletolieallthetime.”BehindthemTomlaydownonhisbackandsaid,“Arrgh!”AlanandJoeandBillyturnedtolookathim.“What’sthematterwithyou?”“ARRRGH!”“Argh?”“ARRRGH!”Silence.Abirdflewinandthenoutthroughabrokenwindowintheloft.“Well,”saidBilly.“Yeah.Iseewhatyoumean.”HeandAlanandJoesatdownontheoverturnedorangecrates.Aftera

whileJoesaid,“Anyway,Iwasright.IfBilly’deatenit,itwouldhavebeencheating.Buthedidn’t,soit’snot.Thebet’sstillon.”

Thepiglookedinatthedooragain.“Apig’sloose,”saidAlan.“Look.”“Where?”saidBilly.“Ohboy,comeon.Wegottacatchit.”Hejumped

up.Thepigbolted.“Whoooooeeeeee!”yelledBilly,dashingout.TomandJoeandAlan

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scrambledafterhim.

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XX

Billy’sMother

BILLYslumpedatthekitchentableononeelbow,pawinginhisbowlofWheatieswithhisspoon.Hismotherwaswashingthebreakfastdishesatthesink.

“Butwhyisn’titgoodtoeathotdogsforbreakfast?Iknownobodydoes.Butwhydon’tthey?”

“Oh,Billy,”saidhismother.“Stopit.Finishyourcereal.”“Well,but—”Aknockonthescreendoor.Billy’smotherglancedaround.“Oh,hello,Alan,Joe.Isyoursisterbetter,

Joe?”“Yes,thankyou.”“Billycan’tcomeoutuntilhe’sfinishedhisbreakfast.Wouldyouliketo

waitforhimonthefrontporch?”“Wecametoseeyou,Mrs.Forrester.”“Oh?Comein.”“Mrs.Forrester,”saidJoe,asAlanshutthedoorcarefullybehindthem.“I

don’tknowifyouknowaboutitalready,butsee,aboutaweekagoAlanmadethisbetwithBillyabouteatingworms.IfBillycouldeatfifteenworms,oneeachdayforfifteendays,then—”

“Billy!You’renotstilleatingthem?”BillystuffedaspoonfulofWheatiesintohismouth.“Notjustworms,Mom.Ibeeneatinglotsofotherstuff,too.Lookatme.

I’mhealthy.Dr.McGrathtoldyouthewormswouldn’thurtme.”“ButBilly,Dr.McGrathdidn’tthinkyouweregoingtokeeponeating

worms.”JoenudgedAlanandgrinned.“Aw,Mom,iffivewormswouldn’thurtme,afewmorewon’teither.

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They’relittleworms.Besides,it’sabet.IfI—”“They’rebigworms,Mrs.Forrester,”saidJoe,lookingvirtuous.“We

won’tlietoyou.Mymothertoldmenevertotellalie.”“Manure,”saidBilly.“Mom,it’sabet.Itoldyou.IfIwin,Alan’sgotto

paymefiftydollars.”“Fiftydollars!Youngman,don’tyoumovefromthatchair.”Shewentoff

intothefronthall.“Finks!”whisperedBilly.“Butyou’llsee.Itwon’twork.”AlanandJoegazednonchalantlyattheceiling.Billy’smother’svoicecamefromthefronthall.“Dr.McGrath,I’m

awfullysorrytobotheryouagain,it’ssucharidiculousmatter,butsinceIspoketoyou,Billyhascontinuedtoeatworms.”Pause.“No,no,it’snothinglikethat.He’sactingperfectlynormalotherwise.Itseemshe’smadeabetwithsomeotherboys.”Pause.“Oneeveryday.Hehastoeatfifteentowinhisbet.”Pause.“Oh,thankyou,Dr.McGrath.I’msosorrytobother—”

Shereturnedtothekitchen.“Butnomorebetsafterthisone,Billy.AlanandJoe,don’tyouegghimonanymore.He’sfartooeagertodowildthings.”

BillyyukkedsilentlyatJoeandAlan.Alanmadearudegestureathim.“Mrs.Forrester,”saidJoe,“whatwereallycameaboutisthatAlanand

mearegoinguptoLakeLauderdaletodaywithmyfathertofish.Andwewon’tbebacktilltomorrownight,sowewonderedifyou’dmakesureBillyeatsthewormstodayandtomorrow.It’snotthatwedon’ttrustBilly,Mrs.Forrester—”

“No,”saidBilly’smother,smiling.“—butit’salwaysbetterifthere’sareferee.Youknow,likeMr.Simmons

saysatschool:tosaveargumentsandhardfeelings.Webroughtthetwoworms.”Heheldupapaperbag.“Weboiledthemalready,soyoucanjustkeepthemintherefrigerator.”

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“Well,”saidBilly’smother.“Thisisquitearesponsibility.AreyousureI’llbeneutralenough?Iamhismother.”

“Yeah,wethoughtofthat,”saidJoe,“butwefigured,well,you’reusuallyprettyfair,andbesides,parentsalmostnevercheatkidsifit’sjustsomethingbetweenkids.They’reusuallyprettyfairuntiltheygetintoit.”

Billy’smotherlaughed.“Andhowdoesheeatthem?Justcoldboiled?”“Well,webeenfryingthem,Mrs.Forrester.Werollthemincornmealand

thenfrythemlikeafish.Buthecandowhateverhewants.ExceptthatAlanandmehavedecidedit’snotfairtomakesoupoutofthemorchopthemalluplikehashorachicken-saladsandwich.He’sgottoeatthempiecebypiece.”

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“Whosaid?”yelledBilly.“Whenwasthateverintherules?”“Wesaid!”shoutedAlan.Billyjumpedup,kickinghischairover.“Well,thenIwin!Becauseit’s

cheatingtomakeupnewrulesinthemiddle.”“Oh,yeah?”shoutedAlan.“Thenyoulose!Becauseanybodyknowsit’d

becheatingtohashitup.”“Youthinkyou’regoingtoweaseloutofitafterI’vealreadyeatennine!”“Who’sweaseling?You’recheating!”“Yeah?”“Yeah!”“Boys!Boys!Billy!Alan!”Silence.“Please.NowBilly,Ithink—no,letmespeakfirst.IdothinkAlanand

Joeareright.Itwouldn’tbefairtocutthewormallup.Youcanjustthinkofsomeotherwayoffixingit.Thankyou,Joe.”

Shetookthepaperbagandlookedinside.“Pew.Billy,areyousure—”“Mom,you’veeateneels;youateeelslastsummerinLongIsland.These

arejustsmaller.They’rethesamething.”“Well.”Sheputthepaperbagintherefrigerator.“IguessifDr.McGrath

saysit’sallright.Nowwhydon’tyouallgooutside?”“Iwouldn’tgoacrossthestreetwiththosefinks,”saidBilly.“Theycan

—”“Yeah?”shoutedAlan.“Well,who’dwanttogoanywherewithyou,

either?”“Yeah?”shoutedBilly.“Boys!”criedMrs.Forrester.“Stopit!Allright.AlanandJoe,youhad

bettergo.”Thescreendoorbangedbehindthem.“Pffffft!”saidBillyscornfully.Joe’sfaceappearedatthescreen.“Thanksforsayingyou’llhelpout,Mrs.

Forrester.”

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XXI

TheTenthWorm

WHAT’Sfordinner?”saidBilly’sfather,comingintothekitchen.“Well,”saidBilly’smother.“YouandIandEmilyarehavinghamburgers

andstringbeansandmashedpotatoes.Billyishavingafriedworm.”“Moreworms?Thebet’sstillon?”“Look.”ShetookasmallplatecoveredwithSaranWrapoutofthe

refrigerator.“Andyou’veeatennineofthesealready,Billy?”Hepokedtheworms

curiously.“Whatdoyoudo,usealotofketchupandmustard?”Billynodded.“Andhorseradishandotherthings.Andwefrythem.”Billy’sfatherliftedacorneroftheSaranWrapandsmelledtheworms.

“Helen,yououghttobeabletodobetterthanfried.Useyourcookbooks.”“I’mnotthecook.I’mjustthereferee.”“Oh,comeon.Thinkofthechallenge.”Hetookacookbookfromtheshelfunderthespicerack.“Let’ssee.

MasteringtheArtofFrenchCooking.”Heleafedthroughthecookbook.“Here.HowaboutPoachedEelsonToast?”

“No,”saidBilly’smother.“Itcallsforchoppinguptheeelinlittlepieces,andthatwouldbeagainsttherules.”

“HowaboutSpaghettiwithWormballsthen?OraSavoryWormPie?CreamedWormsonToast?SpanishWorm?WormloafwithMushroomSauce?”

“Wait,”saidBilly’smother,puttingdownhercookingspoon.“Itmightjust—”Shetookthecookbookandturnedtotheindex.“Here.”Sheread:“AlsatianSmotheredWorm:dredgethewormwithseasonedflour.Sauteinthreetablespoonsdrippingsuntilbrowned.Coverwithslicedonions,pouroveronecupthicksourcream,coverpotclosely,andbakeinaslowovenuntiltender.”

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“Bravo,”saidBilly’sfather.“Putthehamburgersbackintherefrigerator.We’llallhavewormtonight.”

“Iwon’t,”saidEmily.“Ha,”saidBilly,grinninginthemidstofchewing.“Boy,AlanandJoe

thoughttheyweredoingmeinwhentheycametoyou,Mom,butthisisbetterthansteak.Itreallytastesgood.”

“Yug,”mutteredEmily,makingaface.“Letmehaveataste,”saidBilly’sfather.“No,no,”saidhismother.“Billyhastoeateverybithimself.Alanand

Joewereveryfirmaboutthat,andI’mthereferee.”“Boy,”saidBilly.“Idon’tmindifittasteslikethis.”

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XXII

TheEleventhWorm

HOW’Dyoudoit?”saidBilly.“What’sitcalled?”“Myword,”saidhisfather.“Gosh,Mrs.Forrester,”gaspedTom.OnasilverdishinfrontofBillylayanice-creamcakebathedinfruit

syrups—peach,cherry,tutti-frutti,candiedorange—toppedwithwhippedcreamsprinkledwithjellybeansandalmondslivers.

“It’scalledaWhizbangWormDelight,”saidBilly’smotherproudly.“I

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madeitup.”“Isthewormreallyinthere?”saidBilly,pokingaboutwithhisspoon.

Andthen,scrapingawayabitofwhippedcreamatoneend,heglimpsedtheworm’ssnoutprotrudingfromthecenterofthecake.

“Snugasabuginarug,”saidhismother.“Istillwouldn’teataworm,”saidEmily,eyeingtheWhizbangWorm

Delightwithenviousdistaste.“Iwould,”saidTom.“Atleast,maybeIwould.”

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XXIII

AdmiralsNagumoandKusakaontheBridgeoftheAkaiga,December6,1941

ITwon’twork.”“Look,”saidJoe,“evenifheremembersthewormwhilewe’reatShea,

hecan’tgetone.Where’sanyonegoingtofindawormatSheaStadium?Don’tworry,we’llsay,you’vewon;we’llfindawormafterwegethome.Andwekeeprightonstuffinghim:peanuts,hotdogs,hamburgers,CrackerJack,icecream,orangesoda,gum,MarsBars.Youknowhowhelovestoeat.Youeverseenhimrefusesomethingtoeat?Bythetimewestarthomehe’llbebloated,drowsy,belching.Rememberthelasttime?Whenhisfathertookus?HewasasleepbythetimewehitPeekskill.Yourfather’llcarryhiminfromthecar;hismotherandfather’llputhimtobed;nextmorninghe’llwakeup—TOOLATE!You’vewon!Fifteenwormsinfifteendays!Hemissedaday!”

Alangnawedathisthumbnail.“WhataboutTom?”“We’llaskhimalongandthenjustnotpickhimup.Wecantellyour

fatherandBillythatTom’smothercalled,hewassick,hisgrandmotherdied,anything,justsowedon’thavetobringhimwithus.”

Alansighed.“Geez,it’llprobablycostmeeightdollarsjusttobuyallthatfood—CrackerJack,hamburgers—”

“Yeah,butit’llcostyoufiftydollarsifhewins.”“Yeah,well—ohGeez,how’dIevergetintothis?Ifmyfatherfindsout

—”Alanslumpedontheporchsteps,gazingdownathissneakers,gnawing

histhumbnail.“Comeon,”saidJoe,slappinghimontheshoulder.“Cheerup.You

haven’tlostyet.Goaskyourfather.”

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XXIV

TheTwelfthWorm

YOUthinkAlanreallymeantitwhenhesaidhe’dgivenup?”askedBilly,turningdowntheflameunderthefryingpan.Hewascookingatoasted-cheese-and-wormsandwich.

“Idon’tknow,”saidTom,lookingintherefrigerator.“Isupposeso.HeaskedustotheMetsgame—Say,isthatchocolatepudding?”

“Yeah,butdon’ttakeany.It’sforsupper.”“Icouldjustscrapesomeoffthetop,andthenyoucouldtellyourmother

itfelloutupsidedownonthefloorbymistakewhileyouweregettingthecheeseout,soyouscrapedthedirtypartoffintothegarbage.”

“Welllll—”saidBillydoubtfully.“ThomasGrout,”saidBilly’smother,cominginfromthehall.“I’m

surprisedatyou.”“Aw,Mrs.Forrester,Iwouldn’treallyhavedoneit.Iwasjust,youknow,

talking.Everybodytalks:myfather,Billy’sfather,Billy,mysistersAnnie,Charlotte,Polly—”Hewasbackingtowardthedoor.“—Betty,Agnes,Columbus—”

“Ididn’tknowyouhadasisternamedColumbus,Tom,”saidBilly’smother.“Wouldyoulikesomechocolateicecreaminstead?”

“Oh,sure,Mrs.Forrester,”saidTom,relieved.Hesatdownatthetable.“It’smycousinwho’snamedColumbus.”Hegrinned.“ColumbusOhio.He’sacapitalfellow,Mrs.Forrester.”

Andthenhehadtograbtheedgeofthetabletokeepfromrollingoffhischairlaughingathisownjoke.Billylookeddisgusted.Hismotheropenedtherefrigerator,shakingherhead.

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XXV

PearlHarbor

THEcarslidquietlytoastopunderthestreetlightoutsideBilly’shouse.“Shhh,”whisperedAlantohisfather.“Billy’sasleep.”HisfatherglancedbackatBilly,snoringpeacefullyinthebackseat,his

plumpcheeksstickywithorangesoda.“Alan,runuptothehouseandtellthemI’mbringingBillyin.”Billy’sfathermetthematthefrontdoor,andtakingBilly,whisperedhis

thanks.Alanandhisfatherwentdownthewalk.Behindthemtheporchlightclickedoff.

***

InthebackseatofthecarJoeandAlanwrestledgleefully.“Wedidit!”“We’vewon!”“He’llneverwakeupnow!”AlanstruggledoutofJoe’sgripandaskedhisfatherwhattimeitwas.“Late.Almostmidnight,Ithink.”JoepulledAlan’sheaddownandtriedtositonit.“Hecouldn’tdoitnowevenifhewokeup.Howcouldhefindandcook

andeataworminthedark?Hee,hee.We’vewon!We’vewon!”

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XXVI

Guadalcanal

BUTslumpedonthebathroomstool,hismotherholdinguphischinwhileshewashedhisface,Billywaswaking.

“Holdstill,dear.Didyouhaveagoodtime?You’recertainlyhomelate.Isthispartofwinningthebet?”

Billy’seyesblinkedsleepily.Hehadagnawingfeelinghehadforgottensomething.Hehiccupped,gazingdopilydownatthefuzzybluebathmat…yawned…He’drememberinthemorning.Itcouldn’tbethatim—

BET!?!

BET!?!

Hehadn’twonyet!Therewerestillthreetogo!Fifteen!Fifteenwormsinfifteendays!Todaywas…

Hejumpedup.“Mom,Ihaven’teatenmywormtoday!”Andsuddenlyitallcametohim.Thewholetrip…allthecandybars,hot

dogs,hamburgers,popcorn.“Whattimeisit,Mom?Quick!”“Aboutquartertotwelve.”“Itwasatrick!”Hesnatchedhispantsoffthefloor.“Theyweretryingto

makemeforget!”Hetumbledandsliddownstairs,throughthediningroom,hisshirttailflying,yankedopenthedrawerinthekitchentable,snatchedouttheflashlight,thedrawerspillingoutwithaclatterandcrashontothefloor,andslammedoutthebackdoor.

“Thefinks!”HescuttledacrossthebackfieldtowardTom’shouse,searchingthe

groundwiththeflashlightashewent.“There!Darn,astick!Geez,supposeIcan’tfindone?”

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Hestopped.“Therewon’tbetimetocookit!”Heranon.“Andnoketchup.”Hestopped.“I’llbetTomwasn’tsickatall.”Heranon.Thenightwasmoonlessandclose.Hepausedtoheaveovera

rottenloginthehigh,dewygrass—mealybugsandscooters—clamberedoverthestonewallintoTom’sbackyard…andwasallofasuddenwrestlingwithapuptent.

Muffledgruntsandthrashings.“Tom!”heyelled.“Tom!It’sme!Billy!They’retryingtotrickus.”TomandhisyoungerbrotherPetecrawledoutfromunderthepuptent.“Itwasatrick,”pantedBilly.“AlanandJoeweretryingtomakeme

forget.Fifteenwormsinfifteendays.IfIdon’teatoneinthenexttenminutes,Alan’llsayhe’swon.It’salmostmidnight.”

“AndtheyleftmehomesoIwouldn’tremindyou?”Billynodded.“Haveyougotaworm?”“We’llhavetofindone.”Tomdugbackintothepuptentandcameupwithtwoflashlights.They

zigzaggedbackandforthacrossthelawn,bentover,searching.

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“Igotone!”criedPete.“Shhh.”“I’llhavetoeatitraw,”saidBilly.Hethrewbackhishead.“Wait,”whisperedTom,grabbinghisarm.“YoushoulddoitwhereAlan

andJoecanseeyou.Pete,runandgetyoursirenoutofthegarage.”

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XXVII

TheThirteenthWorm

UNDERthestreetlightinfrontofAlan’shouseTomandPetekneltoverthesiren.Billystoodbesidethem,thenightcrawlersquirminginhisfingers.

“Nowwaittilllotsoflightscomeonallover,inallthehouses,”saidTom.“Thenchompitdown.Ready,Pete?Now.”

Thesirengrowled,windingslowlyupandupuntilitSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECHED!acrossthesleeping

neighborhood,sendingbirdssquawkingandchirpingintotheairfromtreesandrooftops;dogsbegantobark;windowslitup;therewereconfusedshouts,bangsofwindowsslammingup.

“Ladiesandgentlemen,”shoutedTomthroughthedyingwhineofthesiren,“AlanPhelpsandJosephO’Hara,throughtheirfinkinessandcheating,theirliesanddirty—”

“Comeon,”mutteredBilly,hisheadthrownback,danglingthewormoverhisopenmouth.“Wehaven’tgotmuchtime.”

“AlanPhelpsandJosephO’Hara,”shoutedTom,“haveforcedustowakeyouallupsothatyoumaynowwitness,ta-ratta-ta-ratta-ta-ratta-ta-ta:THEEATINGOFTHETHIRTEENTHWORM!”

Hedroppedtohisknees;thesirenwoundslowlyuptoaSCREECH!Billydroppedthecrawlerintohismouthandchewedfuriously,hiseyesclosed;felltohisknees,stillchewing,hisfaceturningbeet-red;toppledoveronhisside,stillchewing;rolledandwrithedaboutthesidewalk,clutchinghisstomach,stillchewing—TomandPetekneelingbythestreetlight,workingthescreamingsiren….

Billythrewopenhisarmsandlaystillonhisbackundertheglareofthestreetlight,hismouthwideopen.

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“TAAA—RAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa!”announcedTom,springingupandpointingtoBilly.

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Thethreeboysranoffintothedarkness.Astheywent,Tomyelled,“Remember:AlanPhelpsandJosephO’Hara.”

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XXVIII

Hello,We’re….

Aconfusedmurmuraroseupanddownthestreet.SuddenlyaboyshoutedfromthePhelps’shouse.

“Finks!”Alan’sfatherdraggedhimbackfromthewindow.“IsthatwhyyouwerestuffingBillywithcandyandjunkallday?”“Leavemealone.Yeah.Weweretryingtotrickhim.Thefink.FINKS!”

heyelledatthetopofhisvoice,lungingtowardthewindow.“Quiet!”Hisfathersathimdownhardinachair.Joepeeredfurtivelyoutthroughthefringeofthebedspread.Assoonas

hehadheardthesirenandTom’syells,hehadcrawledunderthebed.“Andthat’swhyBillywokethewholeneighborhoodup?toshowyouhe

hadn’tbeentricked?”“Yes.”HisfatherletgoofAlan’spajamacollar.InthedoorwayAlan’smother

threwupherhandsandwentofftothebathroomtotaketwoaspirin.ThenextdayAlanandJoetrampedfromhousetohouseinthe

neighborhood,knockingoneachdoorandthenrecitinginchorus:“Hello.We’reAlanPhelpsandJosephO’Hara.We’rethereasonyou

werewakedupinthemiddleofthenightlastnight,andwe’resorry.”Breath.“You’llbehappytoknowourparentshavepunisheduswecan’tlookattelevisionorhaveanydessertforamonthandourallowanceshavebeentakenawayfortwoweekswepromisethatitwillneverhappenagain.”

“Atleastnotinthisneighborhood,”mutteredJoeasthelastdoorclosedbehindthem.

“AndAlan,”saidhisfatheratdinnerthatnight,“Idon’twanttohearthattherehasbeenanyrepetitionofthisincidentatBilly’sorTom’shouseor

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anywhereelse.Doyouunderstandthat?”“Butwecan’tletthemgetawaywithit,Mr.Phelps,”calledJoefromthe

livingroom,wherehewaswaitingforAlantofinishdinner.“Therewillbenorepetitionofthisincidentoranythinglikeit,”repeated

Mr.Phelps.“YoutriedtotrickBillyandlost.Thatwillbetheendofthematter.”

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XXIX

YOUknowwhatyouare?”saidAlan,hisnosealmosttouchingBilly’s.“You’reabastard.”

“Andyou’reanother,”sneeredBillythroughclenchedteeth.“Andacheating,lying,dirty,snot-nosed,cheating,lyingone.”

“Ifyousaytwomorewords,”saidAlan,“youknowwhat?I’llbeatyourheadin.”

Billybreathedhard.“I’mrightbehindyou,”mutteredTom,peeringgrimlyoverBilly’s

shoulder,hisfistsclenched.“Yeah?”saidJoefrombehindAlan.“Sowhat?Wecanlickbothofyou

withourhandstiedbehindourbacksandpaperbagsoverourheads.”“Youcouldn’tlickaflea.”“Yeah?”“Yeah.”

Spiffle!

Whack!

Thump!

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“Someone’schoking!Nofair!”

Thwomp!

Gouge!

Joecrawledoffbehindatree,nosebleeding.

Womp!

“He’spullinghair!”“He’sscratching!”

Twist!Tsiwt!

Alancrawledweepingbehindabush.Thump!Whack!Donk!“Billy!It’sjustyouandme!”

“Where’retheothers?”TomandBillyuntangledandsatup,bruised,scratched,dusty,shirtstorn,

hairtousled.Tom’snosewasbleeding,Billy’sshoehadcomeoff.“Yaaaaaaaya!”sassedAlanandJoefrombehindthetree.Billystartedtoshakehisfistatthemandclamberup,butthensankback.

Tompantedbesidehim,bleary-eyed.“Yaaaaaaaya,allwornout?Can’tfightanymore?”

AlanscoopedupahandfulofmudandflungitatTomandBilly.ThenJoedidthesame.Billyand

Tomscrambledupandpeltedback.Mudsplatteredagainsttreesandbushes.Alanbegantocry.ArockhitBillyovertheeye.Hesatdownbackwardinthemud,coveringhisheadwithhisarms,sobbing.JoeandTomstoppedthrowing.JoegrabbedAlan.“Comeon.”

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TomkneltbesideBilly.“Lemmesee,Billy.Isitbad?TakeyourarmsawaysoIcansee.”HetriedtopullBilly’sarmsapart.Billywrenchedaway.

“Comeon,”saidTominascaredvoice.“I’lltakeyouhome.Comeon.Yourmothercantakeyoutothedoctor.”

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XXX

ThePeaceTreaty

ALANandJoesatonthesofa,TomandBillyontwostraightchairsoppositethem.

“Now,”saidAlan’sfather.“What’sthisallabout?”Thefourboysallbegantalkingatonce,accusing,recounting,explaining.“Allright,”saidAlan’sfatherafterawhile.“That’senough.Nowwe

knowit’sgotsomethingtodowiththisbetAlanandBillymade,butMr.O’HaraandIaren’tgoingtogetinvolvedinthat.You’llhavetosettlethatamongyourselves.”

“Youfourboyshavebeenfriendstoolongtostartfightingnow,”saidMr.O’Hara.“Youreallyhurteachother.Lookatyourselves,yourfacesallbruisedandmuddy.Talkitover,workthingsout,andthenyoucanshakeandbefriendsagain.”

Joemutteredunderhisbreath,“Icouldn’tbefriendswiththoserats.”“We’llbeoutinthekitchen,”saidAlan’sfather.“Whenyou’vesettledit,

callus,andwe’llallgodowntoFriendly’sforsomeicecream.Okay?”BillyandAlanandTomnodded.Thetwofatherslefttheroom.Theboys

gazedsilentlyateachother.Afterawhile,Alansaid,“Itwasn’tusthatscratchedTom.Billydidit.”

Anothersilence.“Didyouhavestitches?”BillyaskedAlan.“Naw.Didyou?”Billyshookhishead.Moresilence.“Youtriedtocheat,”saidBilly.“Thatwasn’tcheating.Wewerejusttryingtotrickyou.”“Yeah,butbeforethat.Whenyougluedthetwowormstogether.Thatwas

cheating.”

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“Youwouldhavecheated,too,ifyou’dbeenlosing.”Billythoughtaboutit.“Okay.Butlook,nomorecheating.I’vealreadyeatenthirteenworms;

youknowIcaneattwomore.Heck,ifIbuyGeorgeCunningham’sbrother’sminibike,wecanalluseit—we’llallhavefunwithit.”

JoeandAlanglancedateachother.“Okay,”saidJoe.“Youwin.Hewins,Alan.”“Yeah,but—”“What’stheuse?”saidJoe.“We’vetriedeverything.I’msickofit.Geez,

we’vedonenothingelseforalmosttwoweeks.”Alanscratchedhiseyebrow,glancingatJoe.“Yeah,but—”Joestoodup.“Comeon.Atleastwe’llgetamilkshakeoutofit.”

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XXXI

TheLetter

BILLYliftedthewormoutofthefryingpanwiththecookingtongsandcurleditbackandforthonhispeanut-buttersandwich.

“Ibettheytrysomething,”hesaid,“Joewon’tgiveup.Alanmight,butJoewon’t.”

Tomwascarvinghisinitialsinthelegofthekitchentable.“Yeah,butit’snotJoe’sbet.Whatdoeshecare?”

“JustthesameIbethetriessomething.”Billysatdownatthetable,turningthesandwichthiswayandthat,

lookingforthebestspottotakethefirstbite.Emilycameinfromthediningroom.“Youandmomgotaletter.”Chewing,Billyopenedit.

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XXXII

Croak

HIShandtrembling,Billylaidthepeanut-butter-and-fried-wormsandwichdownonthetable.

“Doyouthink—”“Wow,”whisperedTom.Thescreendoorbanged.Billy’sfathercameintothekitchen,histieloosened,hisjacketoverhis

arm.Helaidhisbriefcaseonthetable.“It’shot,”hesaidcheerfully.Billystaggeredtothesinkandfeeblydrewhimselfaglassofwater.TomandEmilywatchedhim,awestruck.“What’sthematter?”askedBilly’sfather.WaterdribbleddownBilly’schinandontohisT-shirtashedrank.His

mindswam.Poison?Paralysis?Extremelussitude?“Tom,”saidBilly’sfather,“what’sgoingon?”Tompointedattheletterlyingonthetable.Billy’sfatherreadit,smiled,glancedatBilly,andgettingabeeroutofthe

refrigerator,satdownatthetable.“Well,”hesaidtoBilly.“Soitfooledyou,eh?”“Fooledme?”croakedBilly.

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XXXIII

TheFourteenthWorm

BUThowcouldAlanandJoeknowallthosemedicalwords,Mr.Forrester?”saidTom.“Lumbricuscoreopsis?Fulmar?”

“Doyouknowwhatfulmarreallymeans?”TomandBillyshooktheirheads.“Itmeansabird,aseabird,Ithink.”“Boy,”saidBilly,disgusted.Hesatbackdownatthetableandpickedup

hissandwich.“Theycouldbearrested,Mr.Forrester,”saidTom.“Couldn’ttheybe

arrestedfordefraudingthemails?Couldn’tthey?”Billygrinnedandbitdownonthepeanut-butter-and-fried-worm

sandwich.

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XXXIV

TheFifteenth….

STANDINGonarustypail,Billypeeredthroughacrackintothehorsebarn.Joewaswanderingaboutlashingatcobwebswithastick;Alanwasslumpedonabarrel,gnawinghisthumbnail.

Billywentaroundtothedoor.“Hi,”hesaid.Alandidn’tlookup.“Hi,”saidJoe.Billyglancedaroundsuspiciously.“Takeiteasy,”saidJoe.“Weconcede.AtleastIdo.He’sstilltryingto

thinkupsomething.”HepointedatAlanwiththestick.“Where’sTom?”saidBilly.“Hewouldn’teathislunch,sohismotherkepthimin.”Billyleanedovertheplatterontheorangecrateandsmelledthesteaming,

Southern-friedworm.“Hewantedtoloaditwithredpepper,”saidJoe,“butIwouldn’tlethim.”Billyforkedketchup,mustard,andpiccalilliontotheplatter,cutapiece

ofworm,dippeditintheglop,stuckitinhismouth,chewednervously…swallowed…cutanotherpiece….Thewormtastedbetterthanusual,sortoflikekidneybeans,Southern-friedkidneybeans.

“Where’dyougetthisone?”“DownbehindBannerman’s,”saidJoe.“Fromthemuck!”yelledAlan.“Themuck!Gooey,slimy,stagnantmuck!”Billygrinned.“Yeah?You’llhavetoshowme.Thisisthebestoneyet.”Alanjumpedupandkickedthebarrelclatteringintoastall.Joeshrugged

atBilly,grinning.Billyheldupthelastbite.“Ta-rahhhh.”Heswallowedit.

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“Okay,lemmelook,”saidAlan.“Comeon.”HepeeredintoBilly’smouth.

“Oh,no.Comeon.There’ssomestillstuckbetweenyourteeththere.”Billysuckednoisilyathisteeth.“Okay?”Alan’sshouldersslumped.“Ican’tgetthemoneytilltomorrow,”hesaid.“Oh,geez.YouknowI’ll

havetoworkSaturdaysforsixmonthstopayitback.”Hetrudgedslowlytowardthedoor.“Comin’,Joe?”“Yeah,maybeyourfatherwon’tactsobadifI’mtherewhenyoutell

him.”Alanstoppedinthedoor.“Tomorrow?”hesaidwithoutturning.“Teno’clock?”Hesoundedasifhewasgoingtocry.“Yeah,sure,”saidBilly.“Makeitlaterifyouwant.”“Naw.It’snotgoingtodoanygoodputtingitoff.Comeon,Joe.”

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XXXV

Burp

LEFTaloneinthebarn,Billyhuggedhimself.“Iwon!Iwon!Fiftydollars.Ha,ha.”Hesatdownonthecrate,grinning.“Heck,IknewIcoulddoit.Ha.Iwassoscaredatfirst,waking

everybodyupinthemiddleofthenight.”Heburped—beans.“Ishouldhavemadeitthirtywormsandonehundreddollars.Thatstupid

letter.Joeknewwhenhewaslickedthough.Ha.Geez.”BEANS?!!?Hestoodup.Howcomethatburphadtastedlikebeans?He’dhadahamburgerfor

lunch.Andaglassofmilk.Thentheworm.Say…theycouldn’thave…?Hesnatcheduptheplatter.Nothingleft,justafewcrumbsofcornmeal.

Craninghisneck,hiseyesbuggingout,straining,he…he…burped:beans!Again:beans!Heburstoutofthebarn,stumblingoverthesill,yelling.Acrossthefield

JoeandAlanturned.Alanstartedtorun;Joegrabbedhisarm.“Itwasafake!”pantedBilly,cominguptothem.“Youfakedit!Itwasn’t

arealworm!”“Realworm?”saidJoe.“What’reyoutalkingabout?”“Youmadeaworm!”yelledBilly.“Outofbeans!Thentomorrowyou

weregoingtosayI’dlost,Ihadn’teatenfifteenworms—thelastonewasfake.”

“Oh,geez,”saidAlan.“Comeon,willya?”“Hedidn’tdoitwhileIwasaround,”saidJoe.“Yousure?What’dyou

haveforlunch?”“Ahamburgerandmilk.”

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“Yeah,butwhere’dyougetthehamburger?”“Idon’tknow.Mymotherboughtit.Whatdifferencedoesthatmake?”“Yeah,well,alotofthehamburgyougetthesedayshasstuffmixedinit.

Youknow,sausagemeat,soybeans,breadcrumbs.Sothebutchermakesmoremoney.”

“Yeah,yeah,yeah,”saidBilly.“Sure.Butanyway,youcomeonback.Justtomakesure,I’mgoingtoeatanotherworm.”

“Geez,suityourself.Eatfourmore.Comeon,Alan,let’sgo.Lethimeatwhathewants.”

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XXXVI

TheFifteenthWo….

BILLYthrewbackhishead,loweredtheworm…Alanchargedaroundthedoor!leapedonBilly’sback!flunghimtotheground!punching!yelling!…jumpedup!grabbedBilly’sfeet!draggedhimbump-bump-bumpacrosstheroughchaffyfloortothetoolcloset!bundledhiminside!slammedthedoor!lockedit!

Silence.Watertricklingintothetroughoutside,Alanpanting….“What’reyougonnadowithhim?”Joeaskedhoarselyfromthedoorway.

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“IFHE’SINTHECLOSET,HECAN’TEATTHEWORM,CANHE?”“You’recrazy.He’llstarttoyell.Hisparents’llhearhim.”“YEAH?YEAH?”Alan’shairwasmussed;hisshirttailhungout.“Yeah,”saidJoe,eyeinghim.“Hewill.He’llstarttoyellandhis

parents’llhearhim.”Alanglancedwildlyabout…startedtowardthedoor…turned….“Notifweputhimdownthecistern.”“Thecistern?”Joewipedhismouth.“Alan,cutitout.It’sonlyfifty

dollars.Comeon.Faceit.You’velost.Youcan’tputBillydowninthatcisternallbyhimself.Supposethere’swaterinit?It’sfifteenfeetdeep.”

“Wecanlowerhimdownwitharope.”BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!Billywaskickingthetool-closetdoor.“LEMMEOUT!HELP!LEMMEOUT!IT’SCHEATING!HELP!I

wannagetout,Iwannagetout,Iwannagetout—”BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!Hechantedrhythmically,kickingthedoorwithbothfeetintimewithhis

chant.Alanranacrossthebarnandgrabbingholdofabeam,skiddingtoastop,

begantokickasidethehayandtrashwhichlitteredtheplanksovertheoldcistern.

BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!“Iwannagetout,Iwannagetout,Iwannagetout—”“Comeon!”AlanyelledatJoe.“Helpme!Wewerealldowninitlast

year.How’sitgonnahurthim?Comeon.It’llwork.I’llsplitwithyou.Getsomerope.”

BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!“Iwannagetout,I—”

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XXXVII

OutoftheFryingPanintotheOven

ONhisknees,yankingattheplankswhichcoveredtheoldcistern,thinking,I’vegothim.I’vegothim.Iwin.He’llnever…Alanfeltahandgriphisshoulder,glancedup….

“WHATTHEDEVILISGOINGONINHERE?”Mr.Forrestershouteddownathim.

BANG!BANG!BANG!BANG!“Iwanna—”

***

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Aconfusedbabbleofvoices,dyingoutsuddenly.“Now,”saidMr.Forrester.“AlanandJoe:home!Scoot.”AlanandJoecrowdedoutthedoor.“I’vewon!”crowedBilly.Hedancedtowardtheplatter.“Nothingcan—”“Billy!Uptoyourroom!”“Ijustgottoeatthisworm,Dad.Ho,ho,I’vewon!I’vewon!”“BILLY!UptoyourROOM!”“Dad,I—”Hisfatherpointed.“Dad,ifIdon’teatwhat’sleft,I’lllose;Alan’llwin.It’sjusttwo—”“Now.Thebetisover.YouknowwhatI’vetoldyouaboutthatcistern.

NOW!”“Dad,I’lllose!I’lllose!Alan’ll—”“Thenyouwilllearnsomething.March!”“YoumeanIcan’teveneatthatlastlittlebit?Howlongcouldittakeme?

Whatcould—”“Billy.Now.”

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XXXVIII

$%//!?Blip*/&!

BILLYkickedthebed.He’dwon.Allhe’dhadtodowaseattwomorebites,twobites.Hekickedthewall.What’dhisfathergottensomadfor?Alanhadstartedopeningthecistern,

nothim.Geez,hehadn’tevenlethimexplain.Twice.Twicehe’dwonandthen

somethinghadhappened.Andnowhewasgoingtolose?Afterallhe’dgonethrough?Nightmares,

fights,thinkinghe’dbeenpoisoned?Allfornothing?Hekickedthebed.

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XXXIX

TheUnitedStatesCavalryRidesovertheHilltop

MRS.FORRESTER?”saidTom,peeringthroughthescreendoor.“CouldIseeBillyforaminute?”

“He’supinhisroombeingpunished,Tom.HeandJoeandAlanwereverynaughtythisafternoon.”

“Yeah?”saidTom.“Nokidding?What’dtheydo?”

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XL

TheFifteenthWorm

BILLYkickedthewallagain.Twominutes.Whatdifferencecouldtwominuteshavemade?Heleanedhisforeheadagainstthewindowpane,gazingdejectedlyout

intothebackyard.

That’swhatalwayshappened—somebody…Tom’syoungerbrotherPeteappearedsuddenlyaroundthecornerofthe

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house,running,holdingupalittleyellowEasterbasket…gesturing?THEWORM!TOM!Petehadbroughthimaworm!Thefifteenthworm!Billyslammedupthewindow.“Catch!”yelledPete.“Hurry!Tom’stalkingtoyourmother!”HeheavedabrickwithastringtiedtoituptoBilly;Billycaughtit,

hauledthestringuphandoverhand,thebasketcamebobbingupthesideofthehouse.AlanandJoeplungedoutofthebushes….BillysnatchedthetincanoutoftheEasterbasket,pluckedoutahuge,squirmingnightcrawler…

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“MRS.FORRESTER!MRS.FORRESTER!”AlanandJoeshoutedatthetopoftheirlungs,dancingaboutonthelawn,

wavingtheirarms.

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“MRS.FORRESTER!MRS.FORRESTER!”“TOOLATE!”yelledBillygleefully.Throwingbackhishead,hedroppedthesquirmingnightcrawlerintohis

mouth…chewedandchewed.TomandMrs.Forresterappearedaroundthecornerofthehouse.

“Tooglate!”Billyyelled,stillchewing.“Tooglate!Igwin!”Hedisappearedfromthewindow…adoorslammedinsidethehouse,a

tramplingonthestairs…heburstoutthekitchendoor…aflyingleapoffthebacksteps.Herolled,scrambledup,yelling,“Iwin!Iwin!Iwin!”grabbedTom’shands.Theydancedroundandroundandround,Petecavortingbesidethem.

JoeandAlanslunkoffthroughthebushes.…roundandroundandround…Billy’smotherlaughedandwentintothekitchen.…roundandroundandround…tilltheycollapsedontheirbacksinthe

grass.“Iwin,”gaspedBillytotheblue,cloudlesssky.“Iwin.”

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XLI

Epilogue

BILLYleanedtheminibikeagainstatreeandstarteddownthepaththroughthewoods.TomandJoewerealreadysittingbyasmolderingtrashfireontheriverbank,openingtheirlunchbags.

“Where’sAlan?Atthestore?”askedBilly,floppingdownbyTom.“Yeah,”saidJoe.“He’sstillgottwoweekstogo.”“Whathaveyougotforlunch?”askedTom.Billylookedembarrassed.“Worm-and-eggonrye.”“Heck,”saidTom.“Whycan’tyoueverbringsomethingsomebodyelse

likes,soyoucantrade?”Billyfrowned.Heopenedhislunchbag.“Idon’tknow.Ijustcan’tstop.Idon’tdaretellmymother.Ievenlikethe

tastenow.”Hescratchedhishead.“Doyouthinkthere’ssomethingthedoctorsdon’tknow?DoyouthinkIcouldbethefirstpersonwho’severbeen

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hookedonworms?”

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AbouttheAuthors

ThomasRockwellistheauthorofanumberofbooksforyoungreaders.HewastherecipientoftheMarkTwainAward,theCaliforniaYoungReaderMedal,andtheSequoyahAwardforHowtoEatFriedWorms.HelivesinPoughkeepsie,NY.

EmilyArnoldMcCullywontheCaldecottMedalforMiretteontheHighWire,andhasillustratedoveronehundredbooksforyoungreaders.Hernonfictionworkforyoungadults,IdaM.Tarbell:TheWomanWhoChallengedBigBusiness--andWon!,wasafinalistfortheYALSAAwardforExcellenceinNonfiction.EmilydivideshertimebetweenNewYorkCityandChatham,NewYork.

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Copyright©1973byThomasRockwellIllustrations©1973byEmilyMcCully

Allrightsreserved.PublishedbyScholasticInc.,Publisherssince1920.SCHOLASTICandassociatedlogosaretrademarksand/orregisteredtrademarksofScholasticInc.

Thepublisherdoesnothaveanycontroloveranddoesnotassumeanyresponsibilityforauthororthird-partywebsitesortheircontent.

AllrightsreservedunderInternationalandPan-AmericanCopyrightConventions.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproduced,transmitted,downloaded,decompiled,reverseengineered,orstoredinorintroducedintoanyinformationstorageandretrievalsystem,inanyformorbyanymeans,whetherelectronicormechanical,nowknownorhereafterinvented,withouttheexpresswrittenpermissionofthepublisher.Forinformationregardingpermission,writetoScholasticInc.,Attention:PermissionsDepartment,557Broadway,NewYork,NY10012.

Thisbookisaworkoffiction.Names,characters,places,andincidentsareeithertheproductoftheauthor’simaginationorareusedfictitiously,andanyresemblancetoactualpersons,livingordead,businessestablishments,events,orlocalesisentirelycoincidental.

Firstedition,1973FirstScholasticebookedition,2016

CoverdesignbyElizabethB.Parisi

e-ISBN978-1-338-13282-3

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