how to coach effectively

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How to be a great coacH

Video #3

by: christy whitman

How to be a Great Coach

2 | christy whitman copyright 2015

Vid #3 – How to be a great coachHey, it’s Christy again from the Quantum Success Coaching Academy I hope you’re loving the series so far.

In the last video, we started building our solid foundation for becoming a coach and hopefully you’re excited about the possibilities and are starting to envision yourself living a life of purpose, freedom and abundance. If you didn’t get a chance to watch that video yet, I would recommend going and watching it first.

Okay, so in this video we’re going to take it to the next level, and I am going to share with you three things.

1. The Top Ten Attributes of Successful Coaches: What do you need to already have and what can you develop in order to really succeed as a coach.

2. 4FormulasforcoachingeffectivelyJust learning these 4 formulas alone, will make you a more effective coach, so be sure to pay attention and take notes if you like. As a matter of fact, below this video is a PDF learning sheet that you can download and use to follow along if you like.

3. Finally, we’re going to talk about some very important distinctions about coaching that will set you apart from all the rest.

We’ll discuss the difference between: w Being a Coach VS w Being a therapist VS w being a friend with good advice.

Look, it’s really easy to fall into the trap of feeling like a therapist or friend and I’ll show you how to always be a life coach for your clients and how to draw boundaries and keep them.

This is a key distinction that most new coaches fail to grasp and their businesses and clients suffer from it.

So, if you’re ready…

Then let’s get right to it.

First, what are the ten attributes of being a great coach?

Being a Coach means taking on a very skilled role. The International Coach Federation also has a comprehensive list of core competencies which they believe must be met for someone to

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be called a Coach.

Coaching can be a very rewarding option for people. It is the ideal choice for people who:1. Like to work with others2. Desire to see people excel in their lives3. Are prepared to let others do the talking4. Have an open mind5. Are creative in their thinking6. Are prepared to be tough with people7. Are prepared to be honest with people8. Are enthusiastic and happy individuals9. Have their lives well sorted in the areas they plan on coaching on.10. Are interested in continuing to learn and grow

Ten Attributes of Successful Coaches –By the way, don’t worry if you’re not living this way in your life now, a lot of this can be learned with proper coach training.

1. Have a strong sense of self, value themselves intrinsically, are confident and show up authentically.

2. Willing to evolve and develop themselves.3. Listen at the deepest levels, know how to filter out their own emotions, judgments and

conclusions.4. Genuinely curious about people, have a healthy sense of humor and humility.

5. Live from high personal integrity, walk their talk, tell the truth, know how to get their own needs met.

6. Open to, not attached to outcome, can make themselves blank for the client’s agenda and solutions to emerge.

7. Financially stable, think and act like an entrepreneur and business owner.8. Balanced in life, have a strong support system.9. Have good boundaries, knows that the client knows what is best for them.10. Intuitive, courageous, creative, willing to take the chance of being wrong.

Like I said, don’t worry if you’re not living this way now. I will show you how to live this way in your life and trust me, not only does your coaching grow to a new level – your personal life will



shift dramatically when you live this way everyday.

So the next thing I want to chat with you about is the four formulas for being a great coaching tips:

Formula #1 - AuthenticityTo be an effective coach, the very first thing you have to do is start from that authentic part of who you are.

Your own inner being is your primary tool for being a great coach.

Your inner being is that non-physical part of you – that old, wise part of you.

When I start a coaching session, before I get on a call, I don’t prepare anything.

I don’t say, “Okay, I’m going to talk to them about this process and that process.” I connect with myself. I connect with my own inner being.

That way, I put myself aside and allow my authentic being to show up and be the guide, be the coach.

That’s when you are going to be your best coach – when you’re coming from your authentic being.

Your own strengths and skills, your own life experience and your own intuitive sense are enough to make you a phenomenal coach.

Consultants and therapists are the experts.

And that is something that I really want you all to understand – that there is a distinct difference between coaching and consulting, or even therapy.

One of the key distinctions is that coaches don’t need to know more than their clients do.

Let me say that again…You don’t need to know more than your clients do.

Coaching is about listening to and responding to your clients, rather than advising or fixing your clients.

So many coaches think, “I need to fix the client.”

“I need to make it all better for the client.”

You don’t have to. It’s not a coach’s job.

That’s a therapist’s job; that’s a consultant’s job; that’s a psychiatrist’s job.

It’s not a coach’s job.



Formula #2 – Powerful QuestionsAsking powerful questions that lead the client to the answer.

The greatest thing you can do as a coach is to ask powerful questions, because it’s ultimately the clients that have to come up with the answers.

It is easy to tell someone what to do, but it is a skill to be able to refrain from giving your advice and ask questions of your clients so that they come to their own answers.

Whenever you give advice to a client, you are coming from your own perceptions, beliefs and attitudes, and it may not be the right direction for the client.

But when you focus back on your clients by asking them powerful questions like:

“Is that empowering or disempowering you?”

They are able to turn the focus back on themselves, and go within and discover what is real and true for them.

Powerful questions like:

“What would your life look like if everything were working?”

The clients get to go within and be creative, and decide what they want to create in their own lives.

You, as a coach, get to support that vision instead of creating the vision for them.

Let the clients do all the work.

Formula #3 – Focus on the clientThe focus must be on the client, rather than on solving his/her problem.

So many times we go in and try to think of how we can fix the client.

Instead, you must focus on the client.

I’m sure you have been in a situation where you’re trying to tell someone something, and they’re not really listening to you because they’re in their minds thinking of how they’re going to respond to what you’re saying, or how they are going to fix your problem, and so they’re not deeply listening.

When that happens, you miss out on so many opportunities as a coach because you’re not focused on what the client is saying.



With coaching, it’s really important to:1. Listen to what the client is saying, but also 2. Feel the vibration

I know you’ve experienced this – what it feels like when people are in a really high vibratory place…

They’re excited about something; they’re describing something that excites them.

Their energy is really high.

But then they might say,

“I really want to sell my house, but this real estate agent I have is just horrible, and she can’t seem to get . . .”

Their energy drops.

You can feel the difference between high and low energy.

And as a coach, that’s where you need to be actively listening. You need to be really intuitive.

I don’t mean that you have to be psychic or anything…

I mean that you have to listen to what they are saying, and get really connected to their energy level as well.

When did this client dip?

Why did this client dip?

The answers to these questions can help you “illuminate” for your clients what they’re saying that made their energy drop.

It’s not your job as a coach to fix the client.

Please, please, please get that!

It’snotyourjobtofixtheclient.

Your clients have all the answers within themselves.

A good coach reminds their clients of their own infinite wisdom, helps them see from a different perspective, and helps them come to their own conclusions and solutions.

So your job as a coach is to hold your clients in a very safe space and see the higher visions of your clients…



See them already being that success that they want.

See them being those worthy and deserving people that maybe they don’t feel that they are.

Hold them in that higher light.

And when your clients then come to their own conclusions, there’s a bigger impact and a bigger energy shift.

I have to tell you, there are so many times when I work with clients, that I’ll know immediately what the issue is for them because I’ve been doing this for a long time.

And I can easily say to clients,

“Well I know what it is for you – you just don’t feel like you’re enough, or you don’t feel like you’re deserving, or maybe you are trying to make up for XYZ.”

I can say those things, and clients will say, “Yeah, right, yeah.”

But it’s not as impactful as when clients come to those conclusions themselves…

When they get it themselves, there’s a huge energy shift and that’s when a big impact happens.

It’s so much easier when we come to the conclusions ourselves than when somebody just tells us.

So that’s what you’re doing as a coach, and that’s why it’s so exciting!

This also allows your clients to take personal responsibility because the solutions were their ideas, and there is accountability. And with that accountability, your clients are able to get closer to their goals.

So when you tell your clients,

“This is what I want you to do: I want you to start writing out six times a day the different things that you need to do for your business to move you forward.”

Your clients will most likely agree to that, but they won’t stick to it because they didn’t essentially come up with the solution themselves.

Let me explain:

I, myself, am like a lot of people where…

…if you tell me what to do and I don’t want to do it, I dig my heels in.

Don’t tell me what to do!



If I come to my own conclusion, such as:

I really need to take a step forward, like a quantum leap in my business, and I really need to take some action…

Then I’ll do it.

So, the coach could say,

“Hey, I have an easy process that would really help you in your business – can I tell you about it?”

I’d naturally respond with, “Sure, I’d love to hear it!”

I’m now receptive and willing to do what the coach asks of me, because ultimately, it was my idea to make some upgrades in my business.

So remember, you are not there to “fix” your clients.

Okay, on to the final formula

Formula #4 – Being NOT DoingThisonepullsthefirst3togetherintoacompleteformulaforsuccess.

Any endeavor is accomplished more easily and effectively when your focus is on being rather than doing. I mean you are a human being not a human doing. You may be trying to do all the right things, but if you are not being yourself you won’t make an impact.

Consider the powerful result when you shift your focus from doing to being.

Doing coaching:

w trying to solve your clients problems for them

w creating the goals for your client w Giving you clients advice w thinking about what your going to say next w struggling to tell people about your coaching w trying to manipulate clients to hire you w being attached to outcome w feeling overwhelmed with the process



Being a coach: w Being with your client w Listening to your client w Giving sample sessions w being authentic w being open to outcome w trusting its working w holding the vision for your client w helping clients have a total vision of their lives instead of tunnel vision

Being an effective coach is much easier when you are being a coach instead of doing coaching. Your authentic part of who you are is always present and available to the client when you are being rather than doing. That is when coaching is not only effective, but fun.

So remember,

You are there to: w Create a safe space w Ask powerful questions w Listen to them w Guide them in creating their own solutions w BE their coach

If you follow these simple steps, your clients will: w See amazing results in their lives w Continue to want to be coached w Love you w And refer you to all of their friends

Okay, now let’s talk about some very important distinctions for being a successful life coach vs being a therapist, friend, consultant, or even supportive spouse.



Coach vs Therapist/Psychiatrist w Both relationships develop over time w Confidentiality is critical in both w The needs and wants of the client are the focus for both w There are professional ethics and standards for both

There are some additional important distinctions: w Coachingisnotappropriateasfront-linesupportforindividualssufferingfromchronicdepression,anxiety,neurosesoraddictions.

w Coaching clients are “well” individuals who have generally accepted their pasts and have full focus on their present and future.

w They are individuals who take responsibility, and they will benefit from accountability. w Therapists and psychiatrists work with clients who need professional help to work

towards healing, recovery and issue resolution. w Coaches work with clients who want a detached partner to help them evolve and

enhance their lives.

Therapists are experts in medical and behavioral sciences, and they are trained to treat diagnosable conditions like:

w Post Traumatic Stress Disorder w Addiction w Depression w Bipolar Disorder w Other conditions

Coaches see their clients’ brilliance, strengths, and areas that are in need of improvement. They are trained to support their clients as they achieve certain desired outcomes.

Therapists are required to keep their personal feelings and thoughts removed.

Coaches use personal disclosure as a tool to help and challenge their clients.

Coach vs FriendWhat’s the difference between being a coach and being a friend?

A coach holds their clients accountable for what they want to create and achieve in their lives.

As a friend, it is great to support one another, but when you try to hold a friend accountable it can bring problems to the relationship.



I suggest to my coaches that they coach friends only if it is a clean relationship.

Meaning the friend is coachable and looking for the role of a coach, not just another friend to listen to his or her problems and give advice.

Coaching is NOT advice-giving. Coaching is getting clients in touch with their own inner wisdom and power so they can determine the right steps to take in their own lives.

Coaches don’t give advice, whereas friends do.

Coach vs Supportive SpouseWhat’s the difference between being a coach and being a supportive husband or wife?

As a husband or wife, it is hard to have a different perspective and to stay objective because you are emotionally involved.

I don’t coach my husband because it can cross too many boundaries.

I am there to support my husband and encourage him, but taking him through processes and exercises becomes work instead of just being supportive.

It is very similar to being a friend.

The wife/husband usually does not want his or her wife/husband to give advice.

Coach vs ConsultantWhat’s the difference between being a coach and being a consultant?

Consultants advise their clients about how to solve problems.

They say “This is what you do and this is how you do it. This is the next step you have to take.”

Coaches guide their clients to their own solutions by asking powerful questions so that the clients allow their inner wisdom to come to the right solution for them.

Consultants are focused on results and what they can measure. They are hired to produce a certain outcome.

Coaches are hired to support their clients as they achieve certain outcomes.

So, What kind of training do you need be a great coach?



Coaches come from a wide variety of backgrounds including: w Corporate w Education w Consulting w Communications

w Law w Health care w And others

There are as many types of coaches as there are people.

You already know much of what is required to be good at coaching.

This is where your life experience, business expertise, and people skills count for something.

You might think that it is too late to start a new career, but the beauty about being a coach is that you can take your current skills and knowledge and put that into your coaching business. We have many examples of students with very different backgrounds and took their past skills and brought that into their successful coaching practices. (Julie was a high school teacher and is now coaching parents and teens. I was a sales training manager and used those skills to create group coaching programs. Mary was a real estate sales person and now coaches real estate professionals.) The possibilities are endless and your current life experiences allow you to be an amazing coach.

There are presently no formal requirements to be a coach and there is no government entity – federal or state – that requires you to be licensed.

While no official guidelines exist, the profession is strong on self-governance and on maintaining high ethical standards.

Formal education, such as college or graduate school, is helpful but NOT necessary.

Coach training, however, is essential in positioning yourself as a professional.

It also proves critical in your success as a practitioner in the business of coaching.

Certification is not required in order to begin coaching clients for a fee. Good training, however, will show you multiple ways of engaging people in positive experiences that show you at your best. Remember, what prospects and clients care about most is what you can do for them.

Getting a certification should not be just about the certificate you receive, but the proper training in order to be effective as a coach with each client in every session that you have.

Some individual training organization and associations offer their own certifications. Each vary in terms of time, fees, and examinations required.



For some programs it can take years and quite an investment to get all the pieces in place.

Besuretheprogramyouchoosefeelsliketherightfitforyou.

Chances are you already know a great deal of what it takes to be a good coach.

There is also an equally good chance that there are some things that will hold you back, or stop you altogether, without the proper instruction.

Consider a training program like the QSCA – our next semester opens for registration next week.

That’s it for today’s lesson and I hope you enjoyed it.

Let’s review what we learned today. You learned:1. The Top Ten Attributes of Successful Coaches: What do you need to already have

and what can you develop in order to really succeed as a coach2. 4 Formulas for coaching effectively3. Finally, we talked about some very important distinctions for being a successful

life coach.

Listen, I’m committed to you creating an amazing coaching business and in the next video, we’re going to talk about one of the most important steps to doing that.

I’m going to share with you the secrets to getting your first client and finding clients that are willing to pay you top dollar for your services.

You definitely want to see this next video. I promise.

As always, I would love your feedback below and I would love to know…

Whatisthesinglebiggestinsightyougotfromthisvideoandhowthisaffectedyou?

Thanks for watching and I’ll see you again in a couple days.

how to coach effectively

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