8/6/2019 How to Appear Friendly and Approachable

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Its natural to experience nervousness when meeting new people. So much hangs in the balance of that delicate first impression. Act the wrong way and you might beperceived as stupid, weird, or worst of all, the dreaded creepy.

To prevent this from happening, its important to understand body language and the way it affects perception. By reading the body language of others and managingyour own, you can create the first impression that represents you best.

The Basics of Body Language

The idea of reading body language can seem like voodoo, but the truth is youre already doing it. The mind subconsciously interprets body language and uses it toform impressions.Do you ever have impressions of people that dont seem justified? Maybe they strike you as strange or untrustworthy, but for no particular reason? Chances are, their body language is giving off bad signals that your brain is reacting to subconsciously.Once you start paying attention, these signal are easy to spot. Its a language you already speak and its extremely intuitive, you just need to become consciouslyreceptive to it. This post is intended to be an overview of the basics, but there is more good info here and here.Projecting Openness

The key to appearing friendly and approachable is projecting openness. Fortunately, it looks just like it sounds. Examples of open body language are:Arms at sides (as opposed to crossed).Outward facing palmsLegs stretched out and uncrossedElbows away from the bodyLeaning forward (like youre interested)Standing straight (no slouching)If you are in a good mood and open to meeting people, youll naturally have open body language. We run into problems when were in a sour or reclusive mood but still need to be sociable.Maybe youre tired, nervous, or a person who doesnt enjoy big crowds. In these cases, you can actually put yourself into a more likable mood by assuming more likab

le body language. It sounds crazy, but it works. Force yourself to smile a giantsmile and you will instantly feel (at least a little bit) happier. Try it you d

ont believe me.If you are in a social situation and feel things arent going well, your natural tendency will be to hide behind closed body language. This will only make thingsworse. You need to fight your first instinct and focus on projecting the open signals listed above.Eye ContactMaking eye contact is crucial. Have you ever met someone who couldnt look you inthe eye? What was your perception of them?Refusal to make eye contact conveys a lack of self confidence and trustworthiness. It makes other people suspicious and unlikely to respect you. Make a concerte

d effort to look every person you speak with directly in the eye. If thats too much to ask, an old trick is picking a spot on the lower forehead to stare at.

Eye contact is also a great way to start conversations. The eyes are the windowto the soul, so making eye contact creates a powerful connection. Be careful notto stare, but if you see someone youd like speak with, try to make eye contact a

s you walk by. If successful, try to open up a conversation.Adjusting to the Signals of OthersManaging your own body language is only half of the equation. The other half isrecognizing and reacting to the body language of others.If you notice a person has closed body language, its a sign you should give themspace and proceed with caution. Some people just dont want to be talked to. Forcing the issue will likely exacerbate their negative feelings.Thats not to say that closed people should always be avoided, but its more effecti

ve to warm them up slowly. Its likely theyre just shy or nervous. When they see your friendliness and open signals they might open up. If not, just move on. It probably has nothing to do with you personally.

8/6/2019 How to Appear Friendly and Approachable

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Engaging in ConversationThe purpose of open body language is to encourage people to converse with you. This is where you become the life of the party, the person everyone wants to talkto.

Conversation is a subtle art, and this deserves an entire post, but the most important thing Ive learned can be conveyed in a paragraph:Ask people about themselves. Find what theyre passionate about and what theyre try

ing to achieve in life. The answers are often fascinating and different than youdexpect. Your sincere interest will endear you to them and youll learn a lot as w

ell. Naturally, they will ask you them same questions about yourself, and in only a few minutes you have made a lasting connection.