how rattlesnake came to be
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How
Rattlesnake Came To Be
Written by Michael Jamin Illustrated by Roxy Jamin
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How Rattlesnake Came to Be
Long, long ago, all animals were completely identical. A rabbit looked
exactly like a goose, a goose looked exactly like a giraffe, and a giraffe
looked exactly like a monkey. In fact, you could put every animal together in
a room, and it would be impossible to tell which one was which. Only
someone with a strong background in guesswork could stand a chance. And
even they would get it right only one out of every three times.
Rabbit, Giraffe, and Monkey: Can you tell which is which? I don’t think I can.
3
Naturally, being identical was the fairest, most democratic way of life.
Everyone had four furry legs and a head, everyone was equal, and everyone
was happy, right? At first, maybe. But not for long. The animals to started
to complain. Some wanted fast legs, so they could be first at the buffet
line. Others wanted camouflage so that they could hide when it was time
to do their homework. And others, believe it or not, wanted to be small so
that could live inside sewers! Children, please believe me when I say this:
this is almost true!
One day, a salesman came up with a great idea that would solve
everyone’s problems. He would open a store that sold all the body part
that the animals desired. Wings, claws, sharp teeth... you name it, he
would sell it. This was the most creative store ever imagined, so naturally,
it would have the most creative name ever given to a store, right? Well,
that’s what I thought too, and I couldn’t have been more wrong. The
salesman gave his store the most boring name ever imagined. He called it,
“The Animal Part Store.” Some people say that the name was intentionally
boring to be ironic and hip. But I don’t think so.
The Animal Part Store: What a terrible name.
4
On the day of the store’s grand opening, all the animals raced to get in line.
And guess who was pushing and shoving to be the first one in the store? An
impatient and greedy little animal by the name of “Snake.”
“Me first, get out of my way, step aside,” yelled Snake. And when the
salesman opened his door to do business, Snake was the first one to squeeze
through.
“Welcome everyone,” said Salesman. “Feel free to browse. We have a
limited inventory, so if there’s something you’d like to --”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” interrupted Snake. “No one wants to hear your silly
speeches. Let’s see the merchandise,” said Snake, using as many S’s as he
could.
“Oh, I see we have an eager customer. Hello, Sir or Madam.” Salesman
was covering his bases because as I mentioned, at that time, everyone looked
exactly the same. “So, what is it you’re looking to acquire? Wings to fly as
high as the clouds? Gils to breath underwater? Perhaps tentacles with little
suction cups on the end.”
“Yes, yes, and yes,” said Snake. “I want it all. One of each. I want one
of those long toucan beaks to crack nuts. And I want one of those dolphin
blow holes so I can talk in clicks, even if no one knows what I’m saying. And I
want a pair of those fast cheetah legs so that I can win football games. And in
case I don’t win, I want some of those black and white zebra stripes so that I
can also be the referee and make calls in my favor. And I want some of that
funky looking reptile skin. It looks expensive and tacky, I love it! And I want a
penguin tuxedo for the Oscars, and I want a ribbet pouch that I can stick under
my skin and inflates whenever I say the word ribbet. And I want peacock
feathers, I don’t know why I just do. And I want a forked tongue so that I can
taste this and that at at the same time. It’ll be easier to know which is better
5
At first, I didn’t believe Snake could be this greedy. But then I saw this picture. Sometimes seeing is believing!
and I’ll have both and you’ll have none. Ha-ha! And I want fangs filled with
venom because vampire movies are very popular this year, and I want a shark
fin because they look cool, and I want --”
“Whoa,” said Salesman. “You can’t possibly take everything. If you do,
that’ll leave nothing for the others.”
“The sign on the door said ‘First Come, First Serve’ and I’m first come so
too bad!” said Snake.
“That is true,” said Salesman. He was regretting having hung that sign in
the first place, but there was a hole in the wall and he used the sign to cover it.
6
“Mr. or Mrs. Snake, wouldn’t you rather be fair and let everyone get some
instead of hogging it all for yourself. No offense,” said Salesman looking to Hog.
“None taken,” said Hog, who ironically had just given up his turn at the
water fountain.
This is Hog being generous at the water fountain. If he knew how people use his name now, it would break his heart.
“Ooh, I wish I could but I’m afraid I can’t,” said Snake. “I’m going to have
it all, and everyone else is going to have none. And I’m going to be the best
looking, most tricked out animal in the world. Meow and ruff.”
Snake pushed and shoved his way down the aisle, sticking animal parts all
over his body. Horns on his head, wings on his back, fins on his side. Snake
looked like a combination of every animal that ever would be. He took it all
for himself and left nothing for others.
7
This is Salesman’s Maraca: I don’t understand why he needs lessons. Don’t you just shake it?!
“Look at me,” Snake gloated. “I’m gorgeous. Thank goodness I picked
up a thousand of these bee eyes so I can admire myself from all angles.”
Salesman just shook his head in disgust. It pained him to see the look of
disappointment on all the other animal’s faces. Snake was about to pay his
bill when one final item sitting on a back shelf caught his eye.
“What’s that beautiful thing?” said Snake.
Salesman was shocked, and who can blame him? After all, Snake was
pointing to of all things... a maraca.
“That’s a maraca,” said Salesman. “It’s not even for sale. I’ve always
been interested in music so I’m taking classes to learn how to play it.”
Salesman felt awful about this, but the store rules were pretty clear.
First come, first serve, and Snake was first.
8
This is a picture of the other animals teasing Snake: Ooops, we haven’t gotten to that part yet. Sorry. Keep reading!
“Snake shook the maraca hard.” Rattle-rattle-rattle. His mind raced with
possibilities. He could play in a band, he could imagine it was a rainstick, he
could hold it behind his back and rattle it, pretending there was something loose
in his head. Oh, the joy it would bring!
“I’m buying it and you can’t stop me,” said Snake. “But it’s not even for animals.”
“No one asked your opinion,” said Snake, reaching into his snakeskin wallet
to pay the bill. Just put it on my tail, I want to wear it out. So Salesman did.
Just then, a crack of thunder filled the sky. A storm was approaching.
Snake opened his umbrella and strolled out the store with a broad smile
across his face, not caring at all how the others felt.
9
Rather than put an illustration here, we thought you could use your imagination instead.
“Sorry, suckers!” said Snake. “I just bought out the store. Looks like all
of you laid a big goose egg. Ha-ha-ha! Just kidding I bought that too!”
Snake laid a big goose egg on the sidewalk and went about his way. He
turned the corner, passing goldfish in his bathing suit. He was hoping to buy
fins so that he could take swimming lessons.
“Hey Goldfish, how do you like my fins? Too bad there’s none left for
you.”
Goldfish, who was always very polite, responded, “Oh, that is too bad. I
was so looking forward to doing laps this morning. I do like your baby rattle,
however.”
“Baby rattle?!” shrieked Snake. “Its not a baby rattle. It’s a maraca.
Haven’t you ever been to Venezuela, stupid?” Everyone laughed.
“It does look like a baby rattle,” said Goat, trying to get his goat.
“Yeah, it does look like a baby rattle,” parroted Parrot.
“What’s the matter, ‘rattle-snake,’ were they out of pacifiers?”
10
Snake isn’t getting what he wants: Looks like the shoe is on the other foot. Or is it hoof? I can’t remember if Snake bought shoes or hooves.
“That’s not funny. You guys are just jealous because I have everything and
you have nothing.” But inside, Snake felt dumb. He didn’t realize that he
might look silly with so many animal parts on him. And it didn’t occur to him
that others might tease him for being different. In fact, it hadn’t occurred to
anyone because up until that point, everyone looked exactly the same.
“Take it easy,” said Lobster. “It’s just a joke. Why are you getting so
rattled?” The crowd burst into more laughter.
“That does it,” said Snake. “I’m returning these ridiculous things!” Snake
barreled into the store and approached Salesman.
“Hey stupid, I can’t have people teasing me all day, so give me my money
back.”
“Oooh, I wish I could, but I’m afraid I can’t,” smiled Salesman pointing to
another sign on the wall. “All sales are final.” Snake went completely pale.
“You don’t understand, Snake can’t be the butt of people’s jokes.”
“Well then maybe Snake shouldn’t have been so greedy.” Snake threw a
temper tantrum. He was not accustomed to not getting his way.
“Unfair! Wrong! Undo! There shall be recriminations!”
11
Snake getting picked clean: You’d think that getting picked clean would hurt, but if it did, then why didn’t the author put it in the story?
“Hey Snake,” said Giraffe.” If you want, I’ll take that long neck off your
back.”
“Oh, great. Thank you, Giraffe.”
“And I’ll take that mask from you,” said Raccoon.
“It’s yours,” said Snake. “It made me feel like a criminal anyway.”
“See,” said Snake to Salesman. “I found a way around your ridiculous
rules.” Soon, all the animals gathered around Snake, each one offering to take
a different part from him. Even Frog offered to take Snake’s ribbet pouch from
him, although he too was unclear what purpose it would serve. Within a few
minutes, Snake had been picked clean, and was relieved to be free of all his
encumbrances.
12
Rattlesnake after he left the store Today, he’s longer and skinnier. And the rattle looks a little different, but you get the picture.
“Phew, I’m back to good old handsome me.”
“Not exactly. It looks like you gave away a little too much of some things,”
said Salesman pointing to where Snake’s arms and legs used to be....
“Egad, you’re right! I must’ve accidentally given them away!”
“And you also didn’t give away enough of others,” said Salesman. He
motioned to Snake’s tacky Snakeskin and his super trendy vampire fangs, and
of course, the baby rattle snuck to his tail.
“Wait a minute. I look ridiculous! I can’t go around slithering on my
belly. I chafe!” But at that point, all the animals had since left.
“Would you like to have some of my slime?” said Slug, who was lingering
because he was so slow.”
“No, I don’t want your stupid slime. I want my arms back. And I want
my legs. I want my old body!” Snake was fuming. His blood was now cold
with anger. He slithered out the door, his life forever changed. He had a
baby rattle on one end, vampire fangs on the other, and humiliation all the
way in between. Snake found the nearest rock and hid underneath it,
ashamed to be seen in public.
13
And that, my friends, is how Rattlesnake came to be. If you should ever
pass him on your journey, give him plenty of space for he will take his anger
out on you, even if he’s the one he’s truly mad at. But above all, remember
that Rattlesnake was not created this way. He was made this way by his own
greed. Please think about that the next time you'd rather not share.
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Did you enjoy this story?
Author: Michael Jamin Illustrator: Roxy Jamin, age 13
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