How do you to “show” the reader instead of “telling” the reader?

In this lesson you will learn how to “show” the reader

instead of “telling” the reader by using detailed descriptions.

Let’s ReviewLet’s Review

The Writing Process:

Edit

Publish

Brainstorm

REVISEDraft

Let’s ReviewA Common Mistake

Telling and not showing will make a dull movie in the reader’s mind.

Let’s ReviewCore Lesson

Reread your draft that you created with your timeline.1

2Replay that part of the story in your mind and think about how you can describe this part without "telling”.

3 Cross out the "telling" part and put in the "showing" writing.

Let’s ReviewCore Lesson

1 It was my first day with my new mini bike that my god father gave me. My cousin and I were having fun riding the little motorcycle up and down the street. I was afraid of it at first, but as I rode more I became more confident. I was being cocky and forgot that I had put the bike in gear when I let go of the clutch to rest. The bike popped a wheelie with me holding on for dear life. I didn’t see anything until the last minute, then WHAM! I rode the bike into the side of Mr. Robinson’s new car. I looked at his car and felt bad for what I did. As I scraped myself off of the ground I knew I was in for it. I told my mother what had happened and she made me put the bike away. I was not allowed to ride it for a month.

Let’s ReviewCore Lesson

2

My cousin and I were having fun riding the little motorcycle up and down the street.

What did it really feel like riding that mini bike with my cousin?

I felt like a professional racer!

Let’s ReviewCore Lesson

3 My cousin and I were having fun riding the little motorcycle up and down the street.

Showing:My cousin and I laughed with excitement as we darted through the streets of my neighborhood pretending we were motorcycle superstars!

Let’s ReviewCore LessonIt was my first day with my new mini bike that my god father gave me. My cousin and I laughed with excitement as we darted through the streets of my neighborhood pretending we were motorcycle superstars! I was afraid of it at first, but as I rode more I became more confident. I was being cocky and forgot Suddenly everything went into slow motion, the mini bike roared like an angry lion and my hands froze to the handle bars as I held on for dear life. I didn’t see anything until the last minute, then WHAM! I rode the bike into the side of Mr. Robinson’s new car. I looked at his car and felt bad for what I did. As I scraped myself off of the ground I knew I was in for it. I told my mother what had happened and she made me put the bike away. I was not allowed to ride it for a month.

Let’s ReviewCore Lesson Let’s try another one!

It was my first day with my new mini bike that my god father gave me. My cousin and I were having fun riding the little motorcycle up and down the street. I was afraid of it at first, but as I rode more I became more confident. I was being cocky and forgot that I had put the bike in gear when I let go of the clutch to rest. The bike popped a wheelie with me holding on for dear life. I didn’t see anything until the last minute, then WHAM! I rode the bike into the side of Mr. Robinson’s new car. I looked at his car and felt bad for what I did. As I scraped myself off of the ground I knew I was in for it. I told my mother what had happened and she made me put the bike away. I was not allowed to ride it for a month.

Let’s ReviewCore Lesson

3

I was afraid at first….

Showing:I approached it quietly, like a person meeting a new dog.

How can I “show” how I felt instead of “telling” how I felt?

Let’s ReviewCore LessonIt was my first day with my new mini bike that my god father gave me. My cousin and I laughed with excitement as we darted through the streets of my neighborhood pretending we were motorcycle superstars! I approached it quietly like a person meeting a new dog, but as I rode more I became more confident. I was being cocky and forgot that I had put the bike in gear when I let go of the clutch to rest. Suddenly everything went into slow motion, the mini bike roared like an angry lion and my hands froze to the handle bars as I held on for dear life. I didn’t see anything until the last minute, then WHAM! I rode the bike into the side of Mr. Robinson’s new car. I looked at his car and felt bad for what I did. As I scraped myself off of the ground I knew I was in for it. I told my mother what had happened and she made me put the bike away. I was not allowed to ride it for a month. .

Let’s ReviewCore Lesson

Reread your draft that you created with your timeline.1

2Replay that part of the story in your mind and think about how you can describe this part without "telling”.

3 Cross out the "telling" part and put in the "showing" writing.

In this lesson you have learned how to show" the reader

instead of "telling" the reader by using detailed descriptions.

Let’s ReviewGuided Practice

Ok it's your turn Review your draft, and underline the

places where you "told" the reader instead of "showed" the reader

Let’s ReviewGuided Practice

Reread your story and find parts with "telling”.

Replay that moment in your mind asking, “how can I show my reader what is happening?”

Revise "telling" part and put in the "showing" writing.

Let’s ReviewExtension Activities

Look around the classroom and write a paragraph that "shows" the reader what is happening.

Let’s ReviewExtension Activities

Read a page from your favorite story looking for where the author is “showing”. How could the author have written the same thing by “telling”? Write the best examples you encounter of “showing” in your writer’s notebook as inspiration!

Let’s ReviewQuick Quiz

Revise your personal narrative draft by changing ‘telling’ to ‘showing’ using descriptive details.