With Certified Life Coach Angela AtkinsonToday at QueenBeeing.com

It's a fact of life that some relationships go through the occasional rough patch. In most cases, these are worked

out; either through rational discussion or some arguing, but the issues get resolved. But when there's a narcissist

involved, the "rough patch" can be a lot less of a patch and more of a cold, wet, heavy blanket that seems to cover your

whole life.

This is often referred to as a toxic relationship - but how do you know the difference between a simple rough patch in

your relationship and and a very toxic situation? The differences, sadly, can seem subtle at first.

Here are some signs to look for to see if your relationship is toxic - whether you're sure you're involved with a narcissist

or not.

In a toxic relationship:

Your mate attempts to force you to be dependent on them for basic needs.

You have made changes you normally wouldn't have to keep them pleased.

They control your life and check up on you to make sure you're doing what they think you should.

They verbally put you down in front of other people.

They are physically, mentally or emotionally abusive or manipulative.

There's no evidence that they actually love you, though they may say otherwise. (Actions speak louder than words!)

What it all comes down to is that narcissists (and other types of toxic people) are not healthy, and they're

inevitably on a mission to feel better than the people around them. Essentially, they're soul poison - and if you stick it out too long, you might find yourself feeling dead

inside.

So, how does anybody get into such a relationship, and why do they stay? On the surface, the easy answer is that

nobody would or should, but the reality is that they do.

The reason for this is that toxic relationships run in cycles. There are three basic stages: the honeymoon (often

includes love bombing), where everything seems good and there is lots of hope for a happier future; the problem stage (often includes gaslighting, devaluing and discarding), this is where the actual problems occur; reconciliation, where

the offending party makes up for what they did wrong (often includes hoovering). This then leads right back to the

honeymoon stage and it starts all over again.

Does that sound familiar to you?

Once you know about this cycle, it's easier to understand how even very smart people get trapped in emotionally and

mentally abusive relationships with toxic narcissists.

There is really only one stage where things seem bad. After that, they see their toxic mate is trying to do better and is

sorry for what they did. Everybody deserves a second chance, right? Then the honeymoon phase is going great, they're happy again, and willing to forgive and forget. But,

inevitably, the problems start again.

So, why don't people get out of toxic relationships at this point?

Well, if you think about it, you can see that they already have proof that their partner can change. This proof comes

in the form of the prior reconciliation stage. From the perspective of an "outsider," that can be hard to believe, but that's how you tend to see it while you're stuck in the

middle of the relationship. And, there's also another honeymoon stage right around the corner.

What's the key to getting out? Think of it as an addiction. The drug is the problem stage, and the honeymoon stage is the high that is felt. And you can't get the high without the drug. Therefore, if you are in a toxic relationship, you must break out of it at the problem stage. Now that you know the

signs you can be ready to take action.

Don't kid yourself. Get help. Do whatever you need to do to get the respect you truly deserve. It will be difficult, but you

will have a happier life when you do.