holding on and letting go what to expect the first year at the university of oregon division of...
TRANSCRIPT
Holding On and Letting Go
What to Expect the First Year at the University of Oregon
DIVISION OF STUDENT L IFE
Welcome and Introductions
Acknowledge your role and your experience
Describe what to expect and how to prepare for your student’s transition to college
Discuss strategies for handling some of the challenges that may lie ahead
Purpose of this session is to:
Where are you from?
Oregon
Washington
California
Other US state
Other country
How large is your city or town?
More than 1 million
500,000 – 999,999
200,000 – 499,999
100,000 – 199,999
50,000 – 99,999
25,000 – 49,999
Less than 25,000
Counting your current student, how many have you sent to college?
One/only
Two
Three
Four or more
When this student goes to college will you be an “empty nester?”
College is about learning and about development – your student’s and yours
The challenges of student life are part of the learning process
We care deeply about your student and will work with you on their behalf
Our role is to create a developmental bridge
Philosophy and Approach of UO Student Life
UO Parents Expectations, Concerns & Fears
How often do you expect to communicate with your student?
More than once a day
Once a day
Two to three times a week
Once a week
Once a month
Less than once a month
How concerned are you about your student’s academics?
Extremely
Very
Moderately
Slightly
Not at all
How concerned are you about the safety of your student?
Extremely
Very
Moderately
Slightly
Not at all
Ten Biggest Off-To-College Fears for Parents
Overall safety for my student
Losing communication
Developing a new relationship
My student using poor judgment
The dangers of drugs and alcohol
Ten Biggest Off-To-College Fears for Parents
My student’s (in)ability to handle newfound freedom
My (in)ability to let go
Dealing with an empty nest
My changed role as a parent
My changed relationship with my partner/spouse at home
Today’s “Millennial” College Student
Respectful of adults; attached to parents and family
Positive social habits: focused on teamwork, achievement, modesty and good conduct
Environmentally conscious
Crave community
Expect affluence
Better educated; many parents have more education
More ethnically diverse; more multicultural identities
Millennials: Demographic Portrait and Characteristics
Majority are female
From smaller families with older parents
More protected and scheduled as student
Special, sheltered, confident, team-oriented, achieving, pressured, conventional, globally concerned
Cyber literate and media savvy – cell phones, Instagram, Snapchat, Vine, Twitter, are their tools of choice; Facebook is less so
Millennials: Demographic Portrait and Characteristics
What Will This New Partnership Between You And The UO Look Like?
New Communities & Partnerships
Learning to live in a new community is a challenge
For some students, this is the largest or most diverse community they have experienced; for others, it is the smallest and least diverse
Students thrive when they make connections, get involved, use resources, and connect with faculty, staff and each other
Recognize some lifetime friendships form and others are outgrown
Know that it may take time for your student to feel comfortable and homesickness can be part of the transition process
Understand that feelings of anonymity, isolation, and loss of identity can be part of the transition
Encourage your student to visit with faculty, work on campus, visit a student organization, or try a new activity
Concerns How To Help
Concerns How To Help
New Communities & Partnerships
Campus safety
Learning about how to navigate the new opportunities for decision making
Preventing crimes of opportunity
Role of substances in criminal activity and assaults
We have high expectations for:
Respectfulness and civilityEngagement and participationAcademic development
Encourage your student to take an active role in campus safety
Intervention is critical: DucksSaySomething
Encourage your students to be their best and to be respectful of others
Help them develop their ability to say when they are uncomfortable
Encourage your student to welcome the difference that they will experience, and to learn from our diversity on campus
Familiarize yourself with university policies and procedures
Become familiar with campus resources and encourage your student to utilize them
Remember that university life is different from high school
Maintain perspective, encourage realism and accountability
Help your student to develop independence: banking, laundry, making and keeping medical appointments
How You Can Help
Beginning New Partnerships
This Summer, the first year, and when they visit home
Enjoy them!
Engage in conversation about some of these topics and begin practicing new behaviors: talk with them about consent, how to say no to drugs or alcohol, etc.
Give them permission to go. Reinforce that it is time for them to take this next step (for first generation students this may be a particularly important message)
Give them a sense of being able to return – and not having to come home with only success stories to tell
Check out resources: SexPositive app, safe.uoregon.edu
This Summer
When they call/text/Facebook you:
Listen first, don’t provide all the answers. Rather, ask questions that allow them to come up with the answers/solutions themselves
There will be “highs” and “lows”. If you experience a “low” in your telephone conversation – call back the next day – chances are that things have improved!
Practice the 24-hour rule
Resist the urge to “fix” things. Ask yourself how you can teach them to be more independent and learn to problem solve
Disappointment is a part of life – for them and for you. Learning to work through this is an important developmental task
This Year
Give them time to “settle in” and breathe
Affirm the changes you observe in their appearance and their sense of self. Listen to them about their experience
Renegotiate the boundaries – mealtimes, cars, money, new friends staying over, letting you know if they are going to be away all night, etc.
When They First Visit Home
Partnering With The UO: Your Resources
Division of Student Life
Stay Informed & Involved
The UO creates opportunities for parents and family members to stay involved, informed, and connected including family weekends and regional family activities through our Parent and Family Programs.
Proactive web resources
One-on-one support and connections to the University via phone, email, and Facebook
The Parent and Family Association (PFA) was created as a way for parents and families to be constructively involved with the student experience
Office of the Dean of Students
General referral source for students and parents. Be sure to visit our website: uodos.uoregon.edu
24-hours per day, seven days per week a staff member is available for serious student emergency coverage. A staff member can be paged by UOPD, 541-346-2919
164 Oregon Hall ~ 541-346-3216 [email protected]