here's to the weirdos

48

Upload: andhedrew

Post on 26-Oct-2014

300 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

DESCRIPTION

Here's to the weirdos is a course that will take you through the process of moving away from the conventional, expected path into something that ignites your passion, allows you to serve humanity, and makes you feel alive again. I'll teach you how to decide where to go, how to communicate with the naysayers, how to defeat self-doubt and fear, and how to come out the end more happy and fulfilled than you've ever been: you'll be a weirdo yourself, and proud to be one. Find where you want to goNot happy with the path you're taking, but not sure where to go from here? I'll take you through how to go through an intensive self-reflection process, find the weird path that's an authentic fit for you, and then act. Be encouragedYou'll get interviews from people on the other side: people who've looked at the expected life path, and found it bitter. Many of them bought into the idea that finding the perfect job, buying a house, and purchasing a lot of stuff would make them happy, when in the end it was unsatisfying. Hearing about the struggle and triumph of successful people is one of the most encouraging things you can read, and there are a whole bunch of these amazing stories included with the studies. Communicate wellLearn how to deal with people who doubt you, and how to politely refuse to be dragged back to mediocrity. There will always be naysayers: you'll learn how to survive them and come out the other side. Dealing with yourselfYou'll learn how to beat the natural fear and self-doubt that will ensue when you try something different. It's going to happen; I'll prepare you with a variety of techniques to conquer your obstacles. Finding the resourcesI'll teach you how to prioritize, how to find the money, time, and confidence you need to succeed along your new road. We all have some resources: using them effectively is 90% of the battle.

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: Here's to the Weirdos
Page 2: Here's to the Weirdos

this e-book is pro-sharing. I certainly would like to be paid for this e-book, but if you know someone who’s struggling and who would be helped the information found here, feel free to send them a copy. You don’t have to pay me, you don’t have to ask permission: just help your friend out. Share this e-book freely: my first goal is to help as many people as possible.

Page 3: Here's to the Weirdos

For Bethie

Page 4: Here's to the Weirdos

What Makes Us Want to be Weird?

I took a deep breath.I didn’t want to do what I was about to do.In fact, every cell in my body was screaming at me to take the easy way out, to cave to the “normal” way of doing things – I was about to deviate from the “script” that every human is supposed to follow, the very pervasive lie that tells every one of us that there’s only one way to live a happy, meaningful, productive, responsible life.I sat in my car, paralyzed by indecision. I didn’t want to give into a life that I didn’t want to live, but the pressure held me captive. I was stuck in my fear, unable to move foreword, but completely unwilling to step back. I was stymied.Then from the depths of my fear riddled mind, a quote rose to the surface:“Some people follow their dreams, others chase them down and beat them to death.”I still don’t remember where I heard that, or even who said it, but my mind somehow conjured it from the depths just as I needed it.I realized that deviating from the expected life narrative was chas-ing my dream. I knew that I wouldn’t wander into my vision for the future: I needed to take a deep breath and start running into the fear.I gasped as the fear crashed in one last time, a desperate attempt to

get me to cave: but I had momentum now. I stepped out of my car and went to keep my appointment.

The LieAt some point in all of our lives, we believe The Lie. The lie that there’s one ideal life that everyone should aspire to, one path that leads to success and happiness. Gavin Than, a weirdo I interviewed during the Weirdness Studies, believed The Lie, and only when he has completed the “requirements for happiness” that The Lie is based on, did he realize that he was being deceived. Here’s an excerpt from his interview:

“I followed the ‘correct’ path of life that was always drummed into my head since childhood. Study hard. Go to college. Get a good job. Buy a house. Well, I had done all that by the time I was 25 and realized I wasn’t happy at all and was on a path to a early mid-life crisis and oblivion.”

He thoroughly bought into The Lie and it cost him some time. Luckily he reevaluated his life and was able to course correct, but many people don’t do this until much later in their lives, if they do it at all.Come people believe The Lie their whole lives.

Page 5: Here's to the Weirdos

The Pain of NormalcyBeing normal doesn’t bother people who want to be normal. There’s nothing wrong with people who decide to live the script. There are plenty of people who like the script, and want to stick to it: either the risks of improvising are too great, or they just like the comfort of not standing out.

If you’re reading these words, chances are you’re not one of these people. If your life looks normal, it’s probably because you don’t know how to be weird, or are too afraid of being weird. I know that you don’t want to live a normal life.

But What ’s Wrong with Normal?“Normal” can be defined as “the way that a majority of people act, and the way that a majority of them expect you to act”. Think about this for a second. “Normal” is slightly different than “aver-age”, but by looking at averages we can see pretty clearly what people expect as normal. Here we go (these are all based on Ameri-can averages, which I understand may be a little extreme):

The average family has more televisions than people.*

The average American household is carrying $75,600 in debt.*

The average U.S. household has 13 different credit cards.*

The Average American eats 141 pounds of sweeteners (including 42 pounds of corn syrup) a year, and 85 pounds of fats and oil.*

80% of Americans hate their jobs.*

So, the normal person is fat, broke, deeply in debt, hates their job, and sits on their butt most of the day. Normal isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

I’ve talked to weirdos who are passionate about what they’re doing, they’re fulfilled in their work, they’re doing what they love with their life, they’re willing to make difficult decisions to get some-thing other than normal. They’ve seen through The Lie.

I interviewed Gavin from Zen Pencils. Gavin is a cartoonist and illustrator who creates some of the most profound comics that I’ve ever read. He’s able to inspire and motivate people and push himself artistically: I can tell that he’s just having a blast doing what he loves. This didn’t just fall into his lap, though: he made the decision to quit his job, sell his house and live off savings. Did he face fear and doubt? You betcha. Did he have people who didn’t approve, and thought he was doing something rash and stupid?

Definitely.

Page 6: Here's to the Weirdos

But now he’s doing something he loves, far away from his soul-sucking job. He’s doing what fills him, not following the ‘safe’, normal life others might have expected of him. He’s free from the pain for normalcy, because he did what it took to get there.He’s weird, and happy about it.

What I’m not sayingNot everyone is built to do something off the beaten path, entre-preneurial, or a little crazy. If you’re a fan of the beaten path, more power to you. You don’t have to be weird just to be weird – just don’t live someone else’s life, and don’t become numb.

If the life you want is to put career in the back seat and focus on family, I think you should do that (that’s weird too, by the way). If you want to get a safe, stable job and work there for 30 years, go and do that, and do it with excellence.

Don’t take your life for granted. Don’t live the way you live just because that’s how you “ended up”. Choose your life. Make the solid decision that you are going to live on purpose, and that will set you apart from the pack.

People are going to try to tell you what to do: don’t let them. They’ll try to tell you to become numb, to become a member of the Living Dead.

Here’s an excerpt from the play A Thousand Clowns by Herb Gardener, which eloquently demonstrates the process of becoming numb. It’s part of a conversation between two brothers: Murray, who’s basically a bum who cares passionately about people, and Arnold, who has “made his peace with the world” for $30,000 dollars a year.

Murray: “I was sitting in the express looking out the window same as every morning watching the local stops go by in the dark with an empty head and my arms folded, not feeling great and not feeling rotten, just not feeling, and for a minute I couldn’t re-member, I didn’t know, unless I really concentrated, whether it was a Tuesday or a Thursday… or a … for a minute it could have been any day, Arnie… sitting in the train going through any day… in the dark through any year… Arnie, it scared the hell out of me. You got to know what day it is...You got to own your days and name them, each one of them, every one of them, or else the years go right by and none of them belong to you.”

Arnold: “I have long been aware, Murray . . . I have long been aware that you don’t respect me much...Unfortunately for you Murray, you want to be a

Page 7: Here's to the Weirdos

hero. Maybe if a fella falls into a lake, you can jump in and save him; there’s still that kind of stuff. But who gets opportunities like that in midtown Man-hattan, with all that traffic. I am willing to deal with the available world and I do not choose to shake it up but to live with it. There’s the people who spill things, and the people who get spilled on; I do not choose to notice the stains, Murray.

I have a wife and I have children, and business, like they say, is business. I am not an exceptional man, so it is possible for me to stay with things the way they are. I’m lucky. I’m gifted. I have a talent for surren-der. I’m at peace. But you are cursed; and I like you so it makes me sad, you don’t have the gift; and I see the torture of it. All I can do is worry for you. But I will not worry for myself; you cannot convince me that I am one of the Bad Guys. I get up, I go, I lie a little, I peddle a little, I watch the rules, I talk the talk. We fellas have those offices high up there so we can catch the wind and go with it, however it blows. But, and I will not apologize for it, I take pride; I am the best possible Arnold Burns.”

Don’t become numb. Start living on purpose. Notice the stains.

If you haven’t read it, check out my post called 25 ideas to help you live on purpose. It’s a post that blew up online, bringing over 100,000 people to my site, and it’s helped a whole bunch of them start to live their lives without taking them for granted.

My Definition of WeirdYou don’t have to do something incredibly risky, crazy or off-kilter to be weird in my book.

You just have to care.

You just have to fight that creeping numbness that steals away your passion and your life.

You have to be able to look up and say “This isn’t working. I need to figure out something else.”

You don’t have to start your own business: a lot of the weirdos I interviewed did just that (and if you want that, great!), but if you simply find a job that you love and do it with energy and passion, you’re totally weird (remember, 80% of Americans hate their jobs).

If you choose not to be a bureaucrat, stolidly showing up and breathing enough until you can retire, you’re weird.

Page 8: Here's to the Weirdos

If you choose to make your own future, instead of blaming your lack of success on Washington, the economy, or the way you were raised, you’re weird.

If you care about people and step outside your comfort zone to connect with them, you’re weird.

If you stick your neck out for someone, you’re weird.

If you question the status quo, you’re weird.

If you refuse to accept “that’s just the way things are”, you’re weird.

If you’re a giver, and you look out for more than “number one”, you’re weird.

Now, don’t get discouraged! If you’re not there yet, that’s just fine. We’ll get you there.

What I Want You to Get From This Book+ Confidence to Step Out and Do Something Weird

This might be the biggest hurdle for a lot of people. Confidence is not something you get overnight, but it can be cultivated. Many times, confidence is just ignoring the deep fear that you feel. All of the interviews I did are meant to encourage you in your quest for

weirdness: just knowing that you’re not alone is a great confidence booster.

+ The Skills to Courteously Ignore the NaysayersSure, you can just get angry and yell at people who doubt you, but at some point you’re going to have to be diplomatic. Your quest for weirdness shouldn’t break your relationships with the people in your life who don’t get it: your success might just convince them to question their beliefs about what’s possible.

+The Endurance and Support That You Need to Get Through the Rough Patches

It’s going to be tough at times. Doing anything that matters is dif-ficult. It’s worth it, but it won’t always be easy. I’ll teach you how to become resilient, so you can take those small failures and learn from them, rather than being catastrophically discouraged. You’ll also learn how to build a support team around you, because you’ve got to have people around you to help you out. It’s tough being alone! I’m here to encourage you through the weirdification process! If you have a rough day, just send me an e-mail. I’ll get back to you.

Step One: CommitIf you’re reading this book, you want to be weird. You’ve tasted normalcy and found it bitter. You want something more, you know that you do.

Page 9: Here's to the Weirdos

Forget all of the obstacles, the fears, the doubt, the naysayers, and everything else: just commit to figuring it out. Commit to going through this course and becoming your own brand of weird. I’ll teach you how to handle the fear, but once you start changing your life the fear is going to get worse before it gets better. The closer you get to something that matters, the for there will be to be afraid about. The best way to deal with this is to not take no for an answer. Sell out completely to what Zig Zigler says in this quote:

“This I do know beyond any reasonable doubt. Regardless of what you are doing, if you pump long enough, hard enough and enthusiastically enough, sooner or later the effort will bring forth the re-ward.”

–Zig Ziglar

Ready? Take a deep breath. Envision where you want to be. Com-mit to not settle.

Commit to weirdness.

My DilemmaThe day I sat in my car struggling over the intense fear I felt was the day that I finally committed myself to my choice not to finish my college degree. This was a horrifically difficult decision for

my wife and I to make, but there were multiple reasons for my early departure. It certainly wasn’t from laziness: through a lot of hard work, I maintained a near 4.0 average through college, and I wasn’t simply afraid of a little more work. I only had a few classes left to finish my degree, which only made it more difficult to explain to the people around me. I was just ready to move to my next stage in life, and as far as we could tell, that particular degree had no place there.

I wanted to work on my internet business: it was well in line with the life we wanted to lead, and I loved it. Taking the final few classes that I needed to take would have involved extra money going out, certainly: but the time expenditure was what I really wasn’t willing to pay. Simply put, I didn’t want to spend a year and money we didn’t have on classes I didn’t want to take, to get a piece of paper I didn’t need so I could get a job I didn’t want. I’d gotten the education I wanted, and it seemed to me that the final few classes I had to take were worthless.

It seemed like a simple decision to me. It was clear that I wasn’t going to finish my degree.

Then why was it so hard to say no?

Page 10: Here's to the Weirdos

ExpectationsAhh, there’s one of those tough words. Expectations.As we were trying to decide if I was going to finish my degree, the weight of expectations weighed down on me heavily. My family’s expectations were certainly a part of it, because although my family is wonderful and would never try to pressure me into anything, I still come from a very solid academic background. My family values formal education, and it was difficult to choose a different path.

But the most difficult wall to overcome was the barrier of soci-etal expectations. Looking through the lens of our culture today, dropping out of college pretty much ensures that you’re going to be poor your whole life, and that you’re a quitter and a deadbeat. I knew if I decided not to finish my degree, I would have to admit to everyone that I was a failure academically. It doesn’t matter that I threw myself into my classes, read more life-changing extracur-ricular books than most other students, produced art nonstop, found freelance graphic design work, and self-published two books while I was in college: if I didn’t walk out with a piece of paper in my hand, in society’s eyes I had failed.

I just had to be OK with being a failure in one area, so I could succeed in another that I wanted more.

Being Weird

Dave Ramsey, a personal finance and debt elimination expert says,

“If fat people are making fun of your diet, you know you’re on the right track.”

If you deviate from the expected path, some people are going to think you’re crazy, weird, or stupid. Many of them will try their best to convince you not to take the weird path: they’ll try to legitimise their life choices by tearing down yours.

Let’s say you want to go the inner city and work with a non-profit, serving people who are in need. This isn’t your long-term career goal, you just want to help out and make a difference. Guess what some people will try to tell you? They’ll do their best to convince you that you’re going to be “behind”, that you’re not “realizing your full potential”, and that once you finish up your stint with the non-profit, all of the good jobs will be taken, and you’ll spend the rest of your life selling hamburgers to fat people.

Or maybe you feel the need to stay home with your kids instead of working. There will be a lot of people who will try to convince you that that’s a waste of your talent, as if career is the sole determining factor of a human’s dignity and anything else is a waste of life.

Maybe you want to pay off debt and cut up your credit cards. “Are you crazy? Debt is a WAY OF LIFE! You can’t SURVIVE in the

Page 11: Here's to the Weirdos

world today without it! How will you get ahead? How will you buy clothing for your children without DEBT?”

Maybe you want to become a real artist, one whose paintings sell for thousands and hang in galleries, but your friends with boring jobs try to drag you away from your dream, telling you to “grow up” and “face the real world”. Of course, what they’re really telling you is you need to become numb.

If you want to do something spectacular, if you’re not content with the life that’s laid out for you by the world today, if you really want to live life, you’re going to be attacked.

You’re going to be a bit of a freak. A weirdo.

Well, you’re in good company.

Page 12: Here's to the Weirdos

+Finding Yourself

+Getting Your Head Out of the Way

and Reclaiming Your Weirdness.

Page 13: Here's to the Weirdos

OK, AndHeDrew, so I’ve committed to being weird. Great, now what? Do I buy a Hawaiian shirt and some torn jeans and try my best to ignore the looks I get?

You’re going to have to go through a reflection and refining period to figure out which weird path you want to take. It’s true that you might know exactly where you want to go: if so, read this chapter to avoid the pitfalls and distractions that I walk you through. If you have the desire for something different in your work, your relationships, and your life, but have absolutely no idea what, read on – I’ll be taking you through a self-reflection process so you’ll at least have somewhere to start. Living as a weirdo is a moving tar-get, so you might change your plans a few months out, but that’s OK. The important thing is to start, and start now.

But first, I would like to answer one question:

What If I Just Want to be Normal?Maybe you don’t want to be different just for the sake of being different. Maybe you would rather fit in, blending into the people around you. Why stand out? Why be different?

There’s more to being weird than just being different. Being differ-ent from the norm is only helpful if the accepted way of living is broken. Being weird for the sake of being weird might be the way

that you choose to present yourself, but it isn’t “being a weirdo” for the purposes of this book.

We aren’t weird because we particularly want to be. We accept weirdness as a mantle because we see what’s wrong with “normal” life.

It doesn’t have to be wrong for everyone: just because working in a cubicle would drive me bonkers doesn’t mean that it’s a broken model for everyone: I’ve chosen a weird work life because that’s what fits me best. If being an internet entrepreneur/blogger/artist was the norm, I would probably be pretty normal (and I wouldn’t be writing these studies).

The goal isn’t just to be different than everyone else: it’s to find a life that’s authentic to you, and if that’s weird, so be it.

Being weird is a necessity: it can become a point of pride.

Here’s the process:

+I don’t like this “normal” aspect of life +Deviating from the norm will make me look weird +It’s not worth it any more. I don’t care if I’m a weirdo, I’m going for it. +I’m proud to be weird.

Page 14: Here's to the Weirdos

There are people who start out weird and stay weird: they don’t particularly care what you think, they don’t struggle with the weirdness. I think these folks are few and far between: the rest of us have to force ourselves to be weird if we want to reach the goals in our lives. This is why I had you commit to the process in the first chapter.

Normal might be fine for you in some areas of your life, but there will be times when the goal of fitting in won’t jibe with what you really want. You’re going to have to be weird, or settle for less.

Does that seem tough? Being weird is tough, and there are many pitfalls. Here are a few:

I’m Afraid!Fear is a biggie. Fear is a prime motivator for most of us: we don’t do anything that we’re afraid to do, and we settle for the route that we believe is less risky. It’s much easier to keep working at the steady job you hate than to do an aggressive job search and find a job that’s exciting and demanding…or find a way to work an undemanding, less ambitious job so that you can focus on your real love of making your own wine.

Here are some ways to deal with the fear:

+Take Some Small Risks

Don’t go down the black diamond slopes just yet: start with the bunny slopes where you can have some small successes to build confidence. Want to become an amazing experimental chef? Start small. Practice. Have a few close friends over, and start to build a little resistance to the fear. If you’re afraid to cook for a few friends, you’ll probably have a nervous breakdown if the first event you hold is a gourmet dinner for 100 friends. Build up to the big time.

+’Failure is an Event, Not a Person’Failures happen to successful people. In fact, failures happen more to successful people, because the way they got successful is they tried a lot of stuff: most of it failed, but not all of it. Have you ever read Steve Jobs’ life story? He had endless failures, making big mistakes over and over again. He experienced a lot of failure, but he didn’t let it define him as a person. You don’t have to be a failure either.

+ Failure is a RockYou can trip over it, or you can use it to cross a river. Heck, you can even use it as a cornerstone for a building. I read a story a little while ago about a pizza parlor that was experiencing quite a few raving, negative reviews on Yelp. Instead of being angry and frustrated, and maybe pointlessly firing back insults, they turned the reviews into an opportunity: they made t-shirts with the reviews on them for their employees to wear. Having your workers

Page 15: Here's to the Weirdos

wear shirts that say “this place sucks” might seem like a bad move at first, but it actually is a brilliant marketing move: it makes the restaurant memorable, and people who visit find it entertaining and they tell other about it, just like I’m telling you. They turned a negative into a positive.

+Lean Into the FearIf you’re irrationally afraid of some experience, that’s probably a sign that you should do it. Sometimes when I’m giving out my ArtGifts I feel a deep gnawing fear: I fear that I might annoy someone, fear that they might hate my art, fear that I might be rejected, etc. Yet some of the coolest connections I’ve made with people have come from my pushing through the trepidation and choosing to connect.

You might be afraid of the risk that you’re putting yourself in by stepping out and doing something new, but a greater perceived risk means a greater reward. Whenever you sense a irrational fear, lean into it. Go for it. Don’t let the fear rule your life: punch it in the nose.

+List Your FearsThis is good advice that I’ve heard from multiple successful weir-dos. Just take a sheet of paper and write down all of the fears that you have. Then ask yourself “what’s the worst that can happen in

any of these situations? Chances are, the fears will be stripped of their intimidating costume and left naked, and rather humorous. Those which still seem a bit frightening will at least not seem so deadly: since the logical worst-case scenario still doesn’t kill you (hopefully), then you can wrap your mind around it. It’s those hazy, nebulous fears in the half-light that are the most terrifying: once the lights are on, they’re not so bad.

+ Fear of Success?I’ve heard a lot about fear of success. I’ve not actually experienced it, but it does happen to some. Fear of success means that you don’t want the expectations associated with success: you’d rather fail and fail again, so no one ever expects anything of you. If you keep self-sabotaging your endeavours, you might do some soul-searching – you might be secretly afraid of succeeding.

Guilt, Shame and ExpectationsYou may feel that you’re disappointing someone by not taking the “approved” path. Maybe you don’t really want to be an I.T. person, but your dad was, and he’s “strongly encouraging” you to do the same. Maybe your friends all have huge mortgages on their houses, and they’re ridiculing you for paying rent while you save up. There are a few things you should remember when dealing with these folks:

Page 16: Here's to the Weirdos

+ It ’s Actually Better for Them, TooYour weird path isn’t just for your own benefit: it’s for theirs, too. If you’re living your dreams, you’re going to have more energy; you’re going to be a better friend, spouse, or co-worker. Living a life that you don’t want to lead drains you and makes you grumpy.Plus, if you take the path expected by them, not only will you not like it, you’ll end up resenting them for “pressuring” you into a life that you didn’t want to lead. You’ll partially blame them for your misery.

Ultimately it will be better for you, your friends, and your rela-tionships if you live your dream.

+They May Not Expect What You Think They DoDon’t mind-read. Just because you think that they expect some-thing of you, that doesn’t mean they actually do. Maybe you assume that Uncle Ralph expects you to join his lamp-making business, when your loving Uncle really wants you to follow your passion and become a coffee table manufacturer. But you bow to the expectations that aren’t there, and go to work to Uncle Ralph, where you make sub-par work because your heart isn’t in it, you resent your Uncle for “forcing” you into this line of work, your Uncle Ralph resents you for being such a lousy employee, and you both lose out on what would have been a very profitable business partnership. Lose-lose-lose-lose.

What if you’d chosen a life authentic to you?

+They Want What ’s Good For YouThe people around you want what’s good for you, but they don’t necessarily want what’s best. Most of the people who shoot down your ideas are trying to protect you from what they see to be a risky endeavour. If they’re very small they might be criticizing your weird plan to protect their life choices, but most likely they’re just trying to help you out. They don’t see that your weird path might be the best thing for you: they just see you leaving a good, average path to pursue something that’s a little more risky.

+When You Should Feel GuiltI’m not saying that you never should feel guilty throughout this process: guilt can easily be misplaced, but many times it will be a signal that you’re doing something wrong. If you’re placing your family in serious jeopardy to follow your dream, you probably should feel guilt – and act on it.

However, there are many times when guilt isn’t appropriate. Don’t feel guilty because you’re living your life instead of someone else’s idea of what your life should be like.

+“You Should Live Life the Way I Tell You To”It’s your life. They are free to give advice, but you don’t have to ac-

Page 17: Here's to the Weirdos

cept it. Seek the advice of weirdos who are already where you want to be.

Ask fit, athletic people how to be healthy, and pay no attention to your fat friends’ opinions.

We’ll talk more about this in chapter 4, where you’ll learn how to communicate with people who just don’t understand.

Self-discovery: it ’s time to get to work!

“The process of finding your weirdness begins by looking inward. 85% of the process of having the confidence of proper direction comes from looking inward. We too quickly look outward and base our direction on circumstances, rather than personal priorities.” –Dan Miller

All right, now it’s time to embark on a process to find out what weird path you want to take. It may be tough to find what you want to do, especially if you’ve spent most of your life trying to convince yourself that what they want is what you actually want. What follows is a long list of exercises that will help you unblock your mind and figure out what you want to do with your life.

+First: am I too old?Most young people I’ve met don’t have a problem thinking that they’re too young to do something with their lives. However, older people tend to sell themselves short: they think that they’re too late.What follows is an excerpt from this post on my blog:

“I’m tired, fat, old, and discouraged. Reading about success just makes me more aware of my failings. What am I going to do? May-be it’s just too late for me to do anything but coast into the grave.”

YOU’RE. NOT. TOO. OLD.If you’re still breathing, you have time. If your heart’s beating, you can change. You can serve people. You can do what you love.

You can rediscover yourself. You can look back and learn from your past, and figure out who you really are, what you really love.

Time has only run out if you’ve given up.

Did you know that Grandma Moses never painted until she was in her seventies. She painted over 1600 canvasses before she passed away at age 101. You’re 43 and you’ve already given up? What?

Why?

Page 18: Here's to the Weirdos

It’s never too late to start something new.

+Be Intentionally FlexibleDon’t get locked into a pattern. I know that patterns are comfort-able, but they can quickly turn toxic. Try new things constantly! Take different routes home from work. Get a new food every time you go to the grocery store. Make plans, and then abandon them at the drop of a hat for new plans. Explore. Don’t be inconsiderate, but flexibility will stimulate your creative juices, which might be long dormant. This will help you see beyond the life you’re living now.

+Try Lots of StuffLearn how to code a video game. Move to Argentina. Have a go at roasting your own coffee, or growing potatoes on your patio in a bag. Go on a mission trip. Volunteer to work for a week at a place that does work that you might like. Learn about yourself, about your likes and dislikes, about your strengths and weaknesses. The more knowledge you have about yourself, the better you will be able to make decisions.

Just keep trying stuff and growing in your self-education.

+ReadThere’s no better way to open your mind to new possibilities than to read a good book. If you want to check out some of the books

that I recommend, check out my library. Books will get you to where you need to go.

+Where’s the Pain the Strongest?Don’t just choose the easiest path to becoming weird. If you had wanted that, you would have dyed your hair pink and called it good. Decide where your pain’s the strongest, and that might just be the best place for improvement. Do you think about your weight constantly? It might be time to start a weird exercise regi-men. Are you dissatisfied with your job? Time for a new line of work. You get the point.

+If You had Unlimited Time and Unlimited Money, What Would You Do?How would you serve humanity? What would you spend time do-ing after buying small countries got old? That might just be a great way to find what you should pursue.

+What Did You Like The Most When You Were a Child?Don’t just say “eating crayons”, or something. Maybe you liked drawing. Maybe you loved playing with stuffed animals, making elaborate stories and situations. Maybe you were a writer. Maybe you were a salesperson. Look back to your early days, and you

Page 19: Here's to the Weirdos

might find the seed of something that you really could love. Just because school drummed your art out of you, doesn’t mean it’s gone forever.

Oh, and by “art” I don’t mean that you have to slap paint on a canvas. I really believe that everyone’s an artist, and that you can find your art form without picking up a pencil. Read more about this here.

+What Bothers You? What Needs to Change in the World?Blake Mycoskie saw the intense poverty in certain areas of Argen-tina, and learned that the lack of shoes in these poverty-stricken areas not only complicated children’s lives, but also exposed them to many diseases. He also learned that charities providing shoes for children in that area lacked the regular influx of shoes needed to provide for those who lacked, and the needed sizes of shoes some-times just didn’t come in.

Blake took this pain that he saw, and figured out a way to begin to fix it: he started TOMS shoes, which donates one pair of shoes to a child in need for each pair sold.

Do you have a heart for the homeless? Do you feel for people who need clean water? What injustice are you most angry about? An-

swer this question, and you might find something that you’re very passionate about that really matters.

+Ask Others for AdviceRemember the fat folks/diet advice, but going to other people who actually know what they’re talking about is a great way to learn. This is the same principle as reading books: why learn things the hard way when you can learn from other people’s mistakes?

+Set a Timeline for DiscoveryDon’t spend the next two years trying to figure out your next step. Commit to a month of focused self-discovery, then act.

There is tremendous power in just getting out there and doing stuff.

You won’t have the perfect, flawless idea right off the bat, but it will lead you to another idea or opportunity, which might lead to another one, and all the time you’ll be growing and learning. You won’t get anywhere just thinking about it: you have to take bold action. Setting a strict time line will get you to actually do the hard work of introspection, and will force you to take action, even if you don’t feel that you’re ready. You won’t ever feel completely ready. Just go for it.

Page 20: Here's to the Weirdos

+What People do You Want to Be Like?Who do you admire? Who’s your sensei? Who do you look at and go “I want my life to be like theirs”? This is good for planning what you want your life to look like, but don’t go overboard. Don’t idolize someone to the point that they become completely unat-tainable. Your fictional idea about who they are might be more discouraging than anything. Pay attention to their outside, but don’t compare it to your inside.

For example, maybe you want to be just like this artist, Fred. Fred makes tens of thousands of dollars for each of his wildly popular paintings, and devotes his leisure time to traveling the world, serv-ing the homeless and hurting, and playing golf. Looks great, from your perspective. However, everything seems to come naturally to Fred. Fred started selling paintings when he was 19 – he’s some kind of prodigy! You’re well past that. Plus, he seems to be so con-fident and has everything together. He knows that his art’s great, and everyone else thinks so too. You could never be that confident. Plus, he just seems to know what to do in every situation: he knows everything about art and the business of selling art. Some-one like him only comes along once or twice every generation: you clearly don’t have the natural talent he does.

Sounds reasonable, doesn’t it?

Of course, you don’t see the inside of Fred. You don’t see the countless hours of frustration that he puts in at the easel. You don’t know that his first painting actually sold for $5 to one of Fred’s relatives. You don’t know that Fred throws up before every public appearance. You don’t know that he feels completely out of his depth with the business side of things, and has to lean heavily on a friend to figure it out.

Your brain looked at the outside of Fred and made up a neat little story to discourage you. Don’t listen to the lies: you’re better off in-terviewing Fred and learning about how he made it to where he was.

P.S. Everyone has these horrible fears. They’re caused by your arch-enemy, the resistance. Check out the Addendum to this book to read more about him.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disap-pointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”

–Mark Twain

That’s what I want for you.

Page 21: Here's to the Weirdos

+How to Fight the Good Fight

How to Work Through The Pain, Push Through the Walls, and Come Out Alive

Page 22: Here's to the Weirdos

All right, now you’ve gone through the process this far:

+You’ve decided that something’s not right in your life, or if it is right, it could be better.

+You’ve thoroughly examined yourself over a short, intense period of time, and you’ve decided on a weird path to take.

+Maybe you’ve shared your idea with a few of your friends, or your family.

+…and maybe they laughed you out of the room.

+Or maybe you’ve got the support of those you love, but aren’t feeling confident in your own ability.

This chapter is designed to guide you through these pressures and come out on the other side still standing. To start with:

+Just Because it ’s Accepted…that doesn’t mean it’s true.Jason Rohrer, an independent game designer, flew in the face of con-vention when he dropped out of graduate school to...be a parent. He and his wife had some savings, and they decided to live on their

savings until their child went to school. Here’s a bit of his story. As you will see, he certainly didn’t choose the “accepted” path:

“I left my PhD program, had a baby, and realized I didn’t want to continue to be in grad school and work on my thesis while being a parent. We had some savings set aside, so my wife and I moved to a tiny town in upstate New York and bought a house for very cheap, and just said ‘well, we can live for four or five years on these savings if we live really frugally’... with the idea that “ Oh, eventually the child will be five and will go to school and we’ll get jobs then” [so] I spent time parenting and I also spent time working on my own projects, and had as much time as I wanted to work on my own projects, with no real constraints: the projects I was working on didn’t have to bring in money and didn’t have to meet some certain criteria, I could just work on whatever I wanted...after about four years of living like that, various things brought me a little bit more money here and there, and we had enough money for another year. It was like “Well, this is actually work-ing! This is actually sort of becoming self-sustaining” and also [along with that], “We don’t want our kid go to school now” we hadn’t really thought about it before but now that we think about it we want

Page 23: Here's to the Weirdos

to homeschool. So our life just kept rolling in that direction and the idea of someday going back and getting a real job was less and less fallible. We just kind of got off the rails temporarily and found out that being off the rails was so good that we never got back on.”

Jason and his wife didn’t buy The Lie: they realized that the normal “on the rails” type of life wasn’t necessarily the best life for them.

Self-Doubt…is a huge dip to push through. A common thread through almost all of the weirdness studies is this: there are always some doubters, but, as Matt Kohr from Ctrl+Paint says:

“I’m the main doubter.”

I think this is true for many people who dare to try something weird. So, how do we beat self-doubt?

+ Don’t Feed the TrollsMitchell Roth from Ideas for Public Consumption faced quite a bit of self-doubt when he decided to take his weird path (which involved quitting his job to serve humanity with his “time, skills, knowledge, ears, hands, energy, and ideas”) Here’s what he said:

“Self-doubt is always going to be present. If it isn’t, then you can easily become self-absorbed or go off the deep end. The tricky part is learning to keep it in check. I overcome it by finding and reading from others who inspire me, who speak to me. I talk to others who I know will understand me. I minimize discussion of ideas with others who I know will un-necessarily impede me and my vision.”

He doesn’t say that he overcomes it by arguing all the time with people he doesn’t agree with: he beats self doubt by discussing ideas with those who understand, and limiting his discussion of ideas with detractors. This allows him to build self-confidence without it being torn down again by those who don’t believe in his ability to do what he plans.

+ The ClaysMitch and Nathana Clay made the decision to move to Arazona so Mitch could accept a job as a youth minister, which they felt God calling them to do. They faced quite a bit of pressure from fam-ily members who weren’t thrilled about them moving so far away. They did their best to spend time with their families, but they still felt quite a bit of fear and self-doubt about the decision. Here’s what they said about coping:

Page 24: Here's to the Weirdos

“We have encountered doubt from various family members worried about us going so far to a big city. It can get discouraging and at times it has tempted us to doubt, but we have found ways to overcome those doubts. A big one for Nathana has been prayer. When we turn to God, we are reminded of His plan and we have peace. We also try and talk about all that we are excited to do.”

If you believe in God, prayer is huge. It can be a comfort and source of peace that transcends your situation.Another thing that they did to overcome doubt was to communicate about their future: talking about their dreams and what they wanted to accomplish kept them motivated, and focused on the positives.

They could have tried to cope with the familial pressure by com-plaining, distancing their families, or crumpling under the pres-sure. Instead they stood strong together, still showed love to their families, and held on to each other and God to get them through.If you’re experiencing self-doubt and fear, this is a great example for how to deal with it in a powerful way.

TimeIt’s tough to find more time: we have a set amount, and we can’t

earn more. But guess what? You time has the same problems that your money does: you’re spending it on stuff you don’t need, and you’re callously wasting a bunch of it.

You Don’t Lack Time, You Lack Good Time PrioritizationYou have a lot more time than you think, but your priorities are messed up: you waste time doing things that really don’t change your life, and they don’t even matter. Take a hard look at what you really spend your time on, and start cutting things out.

+ Learn to Eliminate the Unimportant StuffCut drastically back on TV (or throw your TV out the window if it’s too much of a temptation).

Try checking your e-mail only one time a day. It’s tough, isn’t it?

Try checking facebook once a week instead of 3-4 times a day.

Look at what activities you take part in: remember, you might have to eliminate something you actually enjoy doing to make room to do something that you love.

Simplify your possessions: less time cleaning house.If you end up letting dishes pile up, box up all of your dishes

Page 25: Here's to the Weirdos

except the absolute bare minimum. One place per person makes sure that you keep up with the dishes, and reduces the time doing them. The accumulation of possessions is a surefire way to eat up your time: the more junk you have, the more time you’ll spend managing it, stressing about it, and organizing it. Purge as much as you can!

Exercise is important, however: you will feel like you have more time because it will give you energy to get things done.

What can you sacrifice to have more time?

+Consistency Now, Quality LaterWith whatever you are doing, consistency is job no. 1: quality will fol-low. If you consistently get your bones out of bed every day, it doesn’t matter if you get 50 minutes of exercise or 5: it’s forming a habit that will serve you well, you can increase the amount of time later.

If you’re writing, just put in the time. Don’t wait for inspiration, just sit down and write every day. Set yourself a word limit and hit it, even if you think that you’re writing is lousy. Use Write Or Die.

Consistency rarely follows quality, but quality often follows consistency.

MoneyIt’s a legitimate fear, but we think it’s more difficult than is really is. If you even toy with the idea of starting a business, cutting your income to free up time for other pursuits, or giving of yourself generously to others, your brain freaks out. “Quit your JOB? Are you NUTS? YOU’RE GOING TO STARVE IN THE STREET!” Our brains are all Drama Queens. I don’t suggest that you just drop you job without a plan (at least, if you have a family), but if that’s ultimately what you want to do, make a concrete plan to transition out of it. Write down “what’s the worst that can hap-pen”, to defuse some of those fears. From Matt Kohr:

“The best thing I can do is to remind myself that there’s always ‘another job’, and turning down work is not the end of the world. It will not make me homeless.”

And Jason Rohrer (independent game designer) said almost the same thing:

“...you should be flexible with your life and try some experimental things...see what works and see if you can live a dream that might seem impossible to you; don’t be afraid of taking the leap. You can always patch things up later, it’s not like you’re going to end

Page 26: Here's to the Weirdos

up homeless on the street, living under a bridge un-der a bridge some place, freezing to death: you can always come back, if you have to.”

Here are a few ways that you can make the financial pressure a little easier.

+Get Out of DebtAs Dave Ramsey says, stop spending money you don’t have to buy crap you don’t need to impress people you don’t like. Learn to live on way less than you make, and start paying off those debts. This is a wonderful way to start to have the financial freedom to follow your weird path.

Here’s what Mitchell Roth says in his weirdness study:

“Debt can be overcome if you stop spending money except for the absolute essentials. Food & shelter. You can choose the extent to which you want to splurge after that. I bought into the whole “good debt, bad debt” story, and I spent a good 5 years paying off my student loans, credit cards, car payments and a personal loan. I became essentially debt free in Janu-ary, and these have been the best 5 months of my life, where I have seen the biggest personal growth.

The immense value of the freedom to my psyche from becoming debt free can not be overstated. It is the best milestone I have achieved yet, which is both sad and amazing. I’m finally at ground zero and have the whole world in my sight.”

Debt can be defeated if you prioritize your money properly. There are times when you simply don’t make enough money (time for a pert-time job?), but most of the time it’s sloppiness and out of control spending that are killing you.

Oh, and if you haven’t gotten into a lot of debt, but are consid-ering it (or considering going into more debt), beware! It will severely limit your options. From the interview with Jason Rohrer:

“...I would warn people that a lot of people who have looked at us and wished they could do what we’re doing, but can’t, because of the debt they’re saddled with. I was lucky and my wife was lucky that we came through college without any debt, our parents had college savings for the both of us, but most of the people we know are saddled with the whole huge amount of college debt and are stuck working some job they don’t like in order to pay that back over the course of decades, and they just can’t

Page 27: Here's to the Weirdos

leave. So I would caution people who are consider-ing college, to not just automatically take out a huge amount of debt and assume that it will be worth it: for a lot of people it’s not worth it. There is this huge, looming debt crisis coming, where people are coming out of college not able to get jobs to pay back their loans. So don’t get into debt because that really restricts your ability to make your own choices later on down the line.”

+ Decide on Your PrioritiesIf your weird path is really important to you, you’re going to have to NOT choose some things.

Maybe...you’re going to have to not choose a nicer car....you’re going to have to not choose vacation this year....you’re going to have to not choose that latte every morning....you’re going to have to not choose to eat out, so you can get out of debt....you’re going to have to not choose the bigger house....you’re going to have to not choose ________.

What are you willing to sacrifice to achieve the future you’ve envi-sioned?

Gavin Than chose not to keep his house, so he could have money to live while he launched his dream.

Jason Rohrer gave up a more luxurious lifestyle to invest in time with his kids, and time working on his projects.

Amy Miller (my Mom) chose to start homeschooling her kids back when homeschooling wasn’t cool, and she made definite sacrifices to do so:

“What we sacrificed in income (I could have had a paying job all these years) and time (teaching and raising your children yourself takes time) we have gained in peace and the satisfaction of a healthy, lov-ing family. My husband and I undoubtedly would have had fewer children if we had gone the tradi-tional way--with the two of us both working full-time and our children in public school--and I love having a big family, so I’m glad we took the path we did.”

Sacrificing some nice things to get what’s really important to you really ends up being the best choice.

Page 28: Here's to the Weirdos

+Live on LessIn my interview with Jason Rohrer, he made several great points about living within your means:

“...you look and realize that most of the money that you’re spending is in order to support the job that you have that’s bringing in the money that [you] suppos-edly need to survive. Once you cut out all those job related expenses you realize that you actually don’t need to spend all that money to survive... as a prime example, in order to have this job you have to live near the job, and where they’re really good jobs that pay good money, there is expensive living because ev-eryone’s living there because they all have jobs. There-fore a good chunk of money is going to cover the fact that you’re living in this place that’s expensive...and [without a job] you’ll have more of your own time so you can cook more of your food...you know a lot of people who work jobs are so tired at the end of the day that they just have to buy expensive convenience foods, and they go out to eat a lot more, or they’re so dead that they have to buy some sort of entertain-ment to make themselves sane over the weekend, all those kinds of things. Some of the needs you used to have start to fall away because you no longer are

supporting the job. [And, with a job, you need] reli-able transportation! You need a car, you need a good car, or both people need good cars because you both have jobs, so then you have these expensive car loans, and so when you actually look at your expenses you realize that 60 to 70% of the money or making at the job is actually being spent to keep you able to keep going to your job.”

Living on less takes some really careful planning, but you can almost always cut more. There are so many aspects of our lives that aren’t necessities: not really. We think they are, but when you come right down to it, they’re merely conveniences.

Go through your budget carefully. It’s worth it!

+What ’s Important to Them Doesn’t Have to be Important to YouYou don’t have to have a nice car just because your neighbors do.

You don’t have to have a house because it’s a great time to buy, or because“everyone’s buying houses at your age”.

You can provide for your family without a traditional job.

Page 29: Here's to the Weirdos

You don’t have to spend your life doggedly amassing a bunch of crap in an attempt to make yourself happy. Happiness doesn’t arise out of the piles of crap.

You don’t have to spend your time just working for yourself: you can serve other people and not worry about “getting behind”.You can stay at home. You’re not missing out.

Here’s an excerpt from a commencement speech by Bill Watterson, creator of Calvin and Hobbes (and one of my favorite artists):

“Many of you will be going on to law school, busi-ness school, medical school, or other graduate work, and you can expect the kind of starting salary that, with luck, will allow you to pay off your own tuition debts within your own lifetime.

But having an enviable career is one thing, and be-ing a happy person is another.

Creating a life that reflects your values and satisfies your soul is a rare achievement. In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive. Ambi-tion is only understood if it’s to rise to the top of some

imaginary ladder of success. Someone who takes an undemanding job because it affords him the time to pursue other interests and activities is considered a flake. A person who abandons a career in order to stay home and raise children is considered not to be living up to his potential – as if a job title and salary are the sole measure of human worth.You’ll be told in a hundred ways, some subtle and some not, to keep climbing, and never be satisfied with where you are, who you are, and what you’re doing. There are a million ways to sell yourself out, and I guarantee you’ll hear about them.”

Don’t sell out.

Don’t give into the lie that there’s only one path to success and happiness.

Be weird.

What ’s Important?What do you need to do to alleviate some of these pressures? Write it down. What do you need to do?-Get out of debt?-Cut out TV?

Page 30: Here's to the Weirdos

-Find some more people who think like you?-Sell your car and buy a beater?-Make a plan to quit your job?-Get a part-time job?

You know where you want to go: what’s the next step for making that happen?

Write it down, and DO IT. Take the first step down the weird road.

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

–Martin Luther King, Jr.

Page 31: Here's to the Weirdos

From Sonia (Andhedrew’s lovely wife)Dealing with weirdos and making plans I like plans. I like certainty, and knowledge about what’s com-ing next. If you had asked me just a few years ago, I would have said that I was pretty spur-of-the-moment, easygoing, and go-with-the-flow, but I’ve come to realize that that only applies to simple, everyday things. Try a new restaurant on a whim? Sure! Decide to go somewhere for the weekend the day before we leave? Definitely! Go driving and flip a coin to decide what corners we turn at and see where we end up? Sounds like fun! But when it comes to things like health insurance, having money in savings, deciding where to live, making business or career choices… I like plans. So, we had a plan: graduate from college, apply for jobs in the Boston area, Andrew would work for graphic design company while I worked part time and went to grad school. In five years or so, after we were well established, we might consider mov-ing back to be near family, Andrew would be doing graphic design consulting independently, and we would have our first baby. I liked this plan. And then I had cancer and there was no plan for that and we just lived each day as it came and the only thing that mattered was being together and getting better. I got better. And we thought that we had learned that plans

weren’t very important, that we could set goals but always expect change. So we did that. But in my head, those goals turned back into set plans and I liked those plans; they felt like security. Then – baby was on the way! This was a miraculous surprise, as my treatment had left a big question mark where our plans for a family had once been. We wanted me to stay at home with our baby, so we decided that Andrew would forgo his last semester of college and find a graphic design job right away. Not finishing his degree was a difficult decision, but after much research revealed that an outstanding portfolio was much more important than a degree in the graphic design world, this decision came to fit into our plans pretty comfortably. There’s nothing like a baby on the way to prompt planning, and plan I did -- in minute detail. Then, about six months before Baby was due, we went on a walk and Andrew said, “What would you think about me taking this part-time tutoring job while we worked on getting our own business started at home?” I freaked out.

Sparing you the details of my meltdown, it’s enough to say that I was a scared, insecure, frustrated, and hormonal wreck. This was going too far. This didn’t even slightly resemble the plan. This wasn’t even just a short term detour from the plan. This

Page 32: Here's to the Weirdos

was throwing out the plan entirely and blindly jumping into the unknown (certain ruin) without even an inkling of how it would turn out (certain ruin) and without any guarantee that we could be successful (certain ruin). Like the wise man he is, Andrew dropped the subject entirely and did everything in his power to ensure that I felt secure and cared for. Order began to return to my world, and I continued to fine-tune plans, but this hair brained idea just wouldn’t leave me alone. We wanted to be self employed – eventually. This would mean more time together – the most important thing. This would remove the possibility of Andrew getting stuck in a job that he hated – definitely a good thing. Maybe this idea didn’t equal certain ruin after all.

And so I tentatively brought it up again. We looked at insur-ance, savings, housing – all of the things that really set off my panic alarm when they’re not planned out – and we saw that it wasn’t nearly as impossible as I had originally imagined. And we made the jump. We decided that Andrew working 9-5, five days a week, wasn’t what we wanted. We decided that the really important things that we wanted out of life would be better fulfilled by becoming self employed. We decided that, through this entrepreneurial venture, we could serve people in ways that a normal job wouldn’t even let us dream of. We embraced becoming weirdos.

I’m not saying that this was a simple jump, or that we jumped into the unknown without a plan like I had originally feared – we knew that we couldn’t be stupid about this (Baby on the way!). We worked hard and had a comfortable amount in savings before I quit my job and Andrew switched to part time work. With my health history and Baby on the way, health insurance was probably the biggest obstacle, so we reached the decision that Andrew would work at Starbucks part time so that we could have the excellent benefits that they offer to their partners. Maybe it wasn’t the perfect plan, but it worked, and I think we struck the balance between boldly jumping into something that we knew we needed to do, while still tak-ing the necessary precautions to ensure that our family is well cared for. I’m learning each day that a plan isn’t certain, and that living without a rigid plan can be incredibly freeing and rewarding. We work with goals instead of set plans now – both short-term and long-term goals that help us know what needs to be done and what needs to be changed.

I liked my plans, but I love the life that we have without being tied to those plans.

Page 33: Here's to the Weirdos

+Communication

What to Say When People Think You’re Crazy

Page 34: Here's to the Weirdos

Just Ignore EveryoneThat may not be as easy as it sounds. If you have the ability to shut out all of those negative voices, that’s great. Shut everyone out.

If you can’t quite do that (and I don’t seriously recommend that you do), read the rest of this chapter.

+Don’t Desert Your SpouseYou can’t throw your family+spouse under the bus to follow your dream. Remember to talk about the “why” not the “how”, because many times weirdos do a terrible job of communicating. If you’re wanting to get out of debt, don’t say “We need to go on a budget, spend less, and stop eating out”: that’s the “how”. Focus on the “why”: “I want us to be able to have some money in the bank, so we can take great vacations, give generously, and have more free-dom. Getting out of debt will help us get free”.

Oftentimes changing the communication to convey what you re-ally want is a wonderful way to bring your spouse around.

+Be Awesome for Like-Minded PeopleIf you’re going to be weird, you’re probably going to have detrac-tors. Nicholas and Angela from NerdBots.net, create unique found-object art. Not everyone likes it, though.

“Occasionally we’ll stumble across a negative com-ment here and there on some random blog post about our work.

The posts themselves have always been complimenta-ry, but sometimes people will leave comments saying that what we do isn’t that complicated or requires no actual creativity. “It’s just stuff attached to other stuff,” was one that we both remember and quote from time to time to each other for a few laughs, especially during frustrating moments.

We know we can’t be everything to everyone, so we’d much rather be really awesome to our core target audience of fellow nerds.”

They don’t try to be normal, and appeal to everyone. They don’t get stressed out about a negative comment. They try to be awe-some for the people who think they’re awesome, their fellow nerds.Realize that not everyone has to support you. There will be people who just don’t get it. If you decide to go serve homeless teens in the inner city, or paint murals in Dubai, there will be people who say you’re wasting your life. But there will also be other weirdos (sometimes precious few) who get it, really get it. They understand what you’re trying to do, and they want to encourage you in your

Page 35: Here's to the Weirdos

quest. Be awesome for them: don’t waste time trying to placate the detractors.

+ Get InspiredGavin Than from Zen Pencils quit his day job and sold his house so he could draw cartoons full-time. As you can imagine, there weren’t too many people who didn’t think he was crazy. Here’s what he said:

“Of course my parents weren’t too happy about me leaving my secure job and selling my house. They eventually came around to it when they saw what I was producing. Friends and colleagues were skeptical too but I just think of my favorite Teddy Roosevelt quote whenever I come in contact with haters: ‘It’s better to have failed while daring greatly, than to be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat.’”

What a great, encouraging quote. Surrounding yourself in inspir-ing quotes is a wonderful was to stay the course. I don’t know how many times I’ve been facing something difficult, and a quote pops into my head that is perfectly applicable.

Gavin’s website, Zen Pencils, is a great constant source of these quotes. He draws comics based on great quotes, and he makes the

quote come to life, making them even more powerful. Check out the full Teddy Roosevelt quote, as drawn by Gavin, here.

+Seek Advice From Like-Minded PeopleThis is why I did the weirdness studies, so you can go through the interviews and be encouraged. Even if you don’t have any people around you who are trying to “go off the rails” like you are, you can still get support from the people in the weirdness interviews.However, don’t leave it at that! Seek out people who think like you. Try to find people who will encourage you and challenge you, not people who will doubt you and tear you down.

Communicate Clearly

+ No Wimp LanguageWimp language is any words or speech pattern that make you sound like a wimp. Many times we adopt wimp language because we’re unsure of ourselves, or we’re trying to not offend someone.

ExampleIntended words: “I’m quitting my job to go out on my own. I’ve been making a good income on the side for a while, and I think that giving up the 9-to-5 will only increase my income, and give me the freedom I want.”

Page 36: Here's to the Weirdos

Wimp words: “Well, I sorta wanted to…you know, not work at my job any more, so I’m…leaving it. I’m going to try to kinda do my own sorta thing and…well, I’d like to have time to ski and…well, I donno, it’s not for everyone, but I thought I’d try. You know, cuz I hate my job and stuff.”

Do you see what you did there? You completely undermined your decision by making it sound like a half-baked idea that you just came up with over the weekend. Using this type of language hurts your cause, and it has some consequences.

-Doubters Will Doubt You MoreIt will seem like you don’t have a clear plan, and that you don’t have the drive to make it work. They won’t be convinced that you’re really sold on the idea, and they will try to talk you out of the decision even more.

Not only are you leaving behind the “normal” “safe” and “expect-ed” route, to them it will appear that you have no idea what you’re doing once you’ve left. People who really love you will be even more frantic to get you back on the road!

However, if you communicate clearly that this is something that you’ve thought about for a long time, and that you’re willing to make sacrifices and take risks to make it work, then they’ll feel less

obliged to drag you back into the land of sanity. Do everyone a favor and cut out wimp language, even if you don’t feel completely confident 100% of the time (and no one does).

+Remember Where They’re Coming FromGo ahead and try to convince them that your idea has value, but don’t wear yourself out doing it. Many people are just too en-trenched in fear or “the way things are” that they can’t see a way out. The best way to convince these people isn’t to argue with them, it just to go and do your thing, and live a happy life.

Because

+Success Is the Greatest Revenge…and teacher. You don’t have to take revenge on the people who doubted you, but success is a pretty good megaphone. You will start having people ask you “hey, how’d you do that?” after you’re successful. Just get there, then you will be in a much more power-ful position to teach them.

- Be Prepared For Them to Lust Not Get ItThey may never “get it”. You’ll have to live with that. The encour-aging part is, there will be some people who do. Be kind to the people who don’t, but they don’t have to control you.

Page 37: Here's to the Weirdos

+ Get Some New FriendsThis may sound cutthroat and terrible, but it might have to happen. This doesn’t mean you send out an e-mail to all of your discouraging friends saying “In order to proceed in my plans, I can’t spend time with you any more! Sorry!” but you’ll find that you naturally spend less time with the people who tear you down and discourage you, and more time with people who build you up. Search out people who build you up, and you’ll probably end up devoting more time to them.

Don’t sever relationships (unless they’re terribly toxic) over your new direction, but be open to the natural change that it will bring.

+Don’t Discount the WeirdosDon’t join the crowd in rolling your eyes at people with big (seem-ingly impossible) dreams. Befriend them. Encourage them. Don’t be one of the people who tells them to be more realistic.

“Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.”

–Cecil Beaton

Page 38: Here's to the Weirdos

From SoniaHow to Talk With the Doubters

It’s inevitable -- you will encounter doubters along you path to be-coming weird. Everyone from your coworkers to your spouse can be doubters. People take notice when you choose to live a weird life, and weird is often seen as foolish, irresponsible, or delusional. You have to be prepared for that.

Admittedly, I was a doubter. When Andrew first approached me with the idea of throwing out the plan for a “stable” 9-5 job, complete with guaranteed salary and benefits, I doubted the sanity of that idea. Obviously, I was won over to the weird side; I now proudly embrace being a weirdo, and can’t imagine living life any other way. There are a few things in particular that I can pinpoint as key points that helped me see weirdness as a good thing, and I think that you will find them useful for talking with (perhaps even winning over!) the doubters in your life.

1. Remember that most people really just want what they think is best for you. Andrew realized that I wasn’t attacking him when I originally vetoed the idea of taking a weird path. I saw how much he loved art and design, and honestly thought that the best way he could develop that was by taking a job in the design field. I

thought that his best shot at success was working with a presti-gious design company. I thought that we would be more secure as a family if he found a normal job. In the same way, you need to realize that just about any criticism or doubt that you receive is most likely rooted in love and care for you (not always, but usu-ally). Understanding the doubter’s point of view is the first step toward communicating effectively with them.

2. Let doubters know that you are being thoughtful, rather than impulsive and reckless, in your choice to be weird. Once you real-ize that most doubt comes from love and concern for your well be-ing, you start to realize that it’s important to assure doubters that this really is good for you. Andrew talked with me about strategies to make sure that we would be secure financially, he found a part time job that would provide health insurance until more perma-nent plans could be made, we made sure that we had an emergen-cy fund set aside to provide a cushion against the unexpected… basically, he recognized my overwhelming need for security and showed me how having security was possible outside of a typi-cal 9-5 job. You can be weird and still be secure (actually, you’ll probably end up being more secure). If you can’t show doubters a reasonable measure of prudence as you jump off the rails and start your weird life, you probably need to evaluate whether or not you are actually being reckless.

Page 39: Here's to the Weirdos

3. Focus on the why. Probably the most effective thing in winning me over to a life of weirdness was Andrew’s ability to communicate why this was such a good idea for us. I had been looking at all of our dreams and goals through the lens of a typical job, but he was able to show me how our dreams and goals would actually be better served by taking a weird path. Once the picture of why we were doing this was firmly in my mind, it really wasn’t much a of a jump to fully embrace a weird path. It just made sense. So, figure out the why behind your weird choices. Have a vivid image in your mind of just what it is you want your life to look like, what difference you want to make, what goals you want to achieve, and how those things are best served by a weird life. If you can get people to catch even a glimpse of the awesome dreams you are working for, a lightbulb usually goes on in their head that helps them see why your weirdness is worthwhile.

4. Don’t give up. This may be more difficult, depending on who the doubters in your life are. Having your spouse be a doubter would be much more difficult than having a coworker or casual friend doubt your weird path -- there are some relationships that you simply can’t just ignore. You may have to have a lot of patience. You may need to take a little more time than you had planned to slowly turn doubters into supporters or fellow weirdos. You may need to revise your original weird plan to be something that your partner can feel comfortable with as well. Whatever you do; don’t give up your weird dreams. If you know that you were

made for something other than the expected, something more than the well-trodden path, something more than what everyone else is comfortable with, don’t give up on your weird dreams. You may have to start small. You may have to work in the normal world a little longer than expected, while spending every spare mo-ment on developing your weird dreams. Whatever it is that stands in your way, please don’t give up. You have passions and dreams for a reason; they are what make life worth living -- don’t give up on them.

Page 40: Here's to the Weirdos

+The Other Side

Its Good to be Weird

Page 41: Here's to the Weirdos

From Dan Miller:“I continue to look for the unusual. I work out of a converted barn on the back of our property. Yep those old farm roots go deep. I love the solitude and being able to hear the water, see wild turkeys, deer, birds, squirrels and more. This is the working en-vironment that works best for me. I drive cars that snap your neck around because you want to see what that was. My wife, Joanne, and I just got back from a week on a private island 18 miles off the coast of Belize. People are amazed when we tell them about the experience. But they just keep going to Disney-land every year?

From Sasha:“Living in another culture has taught me that there are all different shapes of things like normal and common sense, which means that if you travel to enough places you are bound to find a place where you are normal and many more places where you are weird. But the joy really is in finding an enjoyment of the diversity that God has created in this world -- in people, in cultures, in nature, etc. I am blessed to be part of and work with a church family that,

on our good days, really has a love for one another despite the fact that we come from many different countries, backgrounds and versions of weird. And that is one place where real beauty is found.”

From Gavin:“Wow, since launching the site I’ve produced art-work that I didn’t think I was capable of. I don’t know what it is - whether it’s just having the time to devote myself to my work or that I’m happier I’m working for myself ... I’m just really happy with the work I’m making. I’ve never been more satisfied creatively.”

From Nicholas and Angela:“…we feel so lucky to be able to turn a hobby that we are both quite passionate about into an actual business. We both have regular day jobs, but we get to spend our evenings and weekends together doing what we love to do. Plus it’s exciting to share our creations with others, sending each robot out into the world somewhere to brighten someone’s life just a little bit.”

Page 42: Here's to the Weirdos

It’s obviously very good to be weird. There are so many people who have chosen the path that was expected of them, the path that doesn’t fit them, who they are, or their passion. They feel trapped.

You don’t have to be trapped. You can choose something different, something weird.

What Do You Want to Have Been at the End of Your Life?Here’s part of Dan Miller’s weirdness interview:

“When we interview people approaching death there is one common regret above all. ‘I wish I would have had the courage to live a life that was authentic to me rather than to live out the expectations of oth-ers.’ That’s not what I want to feel when I’m 100!”

This is not what I want for myself, and it’s not what I want for you. You have the right to choose a life that’s authentic to you, no matter what they say.

Remember That You’re Going to DieHere’s an excerpt from a Steve Jobs commencement address:

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most im-

portant tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embar-rassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

Remember what’s truly important. Embed the idea in your mind that you’re going to die soon. Embrace it. Jobs died quite young, but no one can argue that he didn’t use his time on earth effectively. Remember your death, and you’ll remember what’s vital to living a full life. I don’t know what it is for you, but here’s part of my list:

+ My family: my wife, my baby girl.+ Service and giving to people.+ Showing love and connecting with those around me.+ Valuing humanity, beyond what is accepted or politically correct.+ Daily being more like Jesus Christ, the perfect model of love, service and connection.+ Doing something with my hours that matters, that

Page 43: Here's to the Weirdos

changes people’s lives, and that I love.+ Spending part of my money to help alleviate pain and suffering in the world.

Nowhere on that list is “Not looking stupid” or “keep up-to-date on my tv shows”, but I must admit that there are times when it seems that my life is all about those things.

Just remember your death, and don’t settle.

By the way, you probably have a long fight ahead.

It probably won’t come easy.

Here’s another part of Bill Watterson’s speech, speaking about a five-year period where he did a job he hated to work on his dream:

“…a friend used to console me that cream always rises to the top. I used to think, so do people who throw themselves into the sea.I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success. You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure. The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed

when we arrive. At that time, we turn around and say, yes, this is obviously where I was going all along. It’s a good idea to try to enjoy the scenery on the detours, because you’ll probably take a few.”

Learn to be content anyway. “Enjoy the scenery”, or you won’t sur-vive to the other side.

Contentment Vs. ComplacencyRemember, contentment doesn’t mean sitting on your butt. It means being OK with where you are, while still moving towards something better. It’s tough, especially when you’ve been awak-ened, and you really want to live the vision of the weird life that you’ve formulated.

It’s probably not going to come overnight, so you’re going to have to learn contentment.

Make deposits of success in multiple areas of lifeThis is classic Dan Miller advice, and it’s good advice. Don’t focus so much on being weird that you let all the other important areas of your life slide.

Don’t choose your dream over your spouse, your faith, or your kids. Remember what’s important, and continue to improve those

Page 44: Here's to the Weirdos

areas, too. Success in other areas will help you stay encouraged through the tough times in one area.

There will be tough times. It’s worth it.

There’s a Time For Imbalance, but Limit ItIf you have to spend a whole weekend working on a project, do it: there’s great power in hustling. Just don’t spend every weekend with your head in your work. Take time out for other things that matter. You’ll be much more content and happy. Successful people don’t spend more time on their projects: they have rich lives out-side of their successful careers.

Remember the ResistanceRead the addendum to this e-book. It’s really important if you’re going to keep going in the right direction, and it will help you deal with the biggest difficulty that you will face in your quest to be weird. Being weird is a challenge, but it’s a good, good challenge.It’s worth whatever you have to give up. Here’s a quote from the movie “Up in the Air”, where Ryan is counseling someone who’s just lost their job:

“Ryan: Your resume says you minored in French Cu-linary Arts. Most students work the fryer at KFC. You bussed tables at Il Picatorre to support yourself. Then

you got out of college and started working here. How much did they first pay you to give up on your dreams?

Bob: Twenty seven thousand a year.

Ryan Bingham: At what point were you going to stop and go back to what made you happy?

Bob: …Good question.

Ryan: I see guys who work at the same company for their entire lives, guys exactly like you. They clock in, they clock out, and they never have a moment of happiness.You have an opportunity here, Bob.This is a rebirth.”

Keep pushing, keep growing, and keep living.

You don’t have to settle for whatever they offer you.

This can be your rebirth.

Your awakening.

Don’t settle.

Page 45: Here's to the Weirdos

Addendum: The Resistance

What is It?The resistance is a strong, pernicious, destructive force that wants you to stay mediocre, to never take a risk: it wants you to take the easy way out.

Stephen Pressfield describes it in detail in his amazing book, The War of Art – one of my favorite books. If you haven’t read it yet, go buy it. It will change you.

If you believe in God, the resistance is everything anti-God. It stands squarely against creativity, sacrifice, autistic love, servant-hood, and anything apart from keeping you in your shell, sedated by self-interest.

The resistance wants to make sure that you never do anything important, remarkable, selfless, or risky. It wants to insure that your soul never grows. Some people live their whole lives shackled by the resistance.

What Does It Look Like?The residence manifests itself in any way that will active its goals. It will be fear, anger, apathy, rationalization, self-pity: whatever it can find to manipulate you the most.

Have a great idea for a book? The resistance is going to tell you not to bother, that there are already lots of great books out there, that you’re not smart or special or dedicated or brilliant enough to write a book.

Do you want to start teaching art classes to kids in the area? The resistance will be that knowing fear in your head, the voices tell-ing you that you’re not a good teacher, that you have no business teaching kids, that you’re going to get sued when some kid gets paint in his eye.

I’ll tell you, that the resistance has caused me to fall on my face many times in my life.

I’ve done the “acceptable” thing, when I should have been doing the right thing.

I’ve kept quiet when I should have spoken up.

When I should have been angry, I’ve remained passive. When I should have been patient, I’ve been angry.

I’ve caved to the fear.

I’ve given in to my self-doubt, instead of pushing through.

Page 46: Here's to the Weirdos

There have been times I’ve chosen not to love.

I’ve chosen laziness.

I’ve chosen selfishness.

Once you recognize the resistance, obviously you can’t just turn it off: but you can fight it.

How Do we Fight It?In the incredible movie Memento, the main character has perma-nent short-term memory loss. He can’t remember anything in his life before several minutes ago. He takes a lot of Polaroids, and writes reminders on the backs of them: at one point he takes a picture of a guy he knows and writes on the back “Don’t believe his lies”. That’s exactly how we beat the resistance. We get as clear a picture as we can of the enemy, and then we constantly remind ourselves “Don’t believe his lies”.

I’m not good enough.

Don’t believe his lies.

I don’t deserve happiness.

Don’t believe his lies.

I can’t do that! I’m too afraid!

Don’t believe his lies.

Gosh, I know I should do that, but I really don’t want to right now.

Don’t believe his lies.

It’s someone else’s job.

Don’t believe his lies.

I don’t feel motivated.

Don’t believe his lies.

I just want to be lazy.

Don’t believe his lies.

Just five more minutes…

Don’t believe his lies.

Page 47: Here's to the Weirdos

I’ll change next time.

Don’t believe his lies.

I’ll work on our relationship when we’re not so busy.

Don’t believe his lies.

I have to buy this! I need it!

Don’t believe his lies.

I can’t do something weird, what will people think of me?

Don’t believe his lies.

What if I made a mistake? I would look stupid!

Don’t believe his lies.

Who am I to think that I can do this? I’m nobody!

Don’t believe his lies!

You must conquer the resistance if you’re going to do something weird, something that you love.

“Resistance is directly proportional to love. If you’re feeling massive Resistance, the good news is, it means there’s tremendous love there too. If you didn’t love the project that is terrifying you, you wouldn’t feel anything. The opposite of love isn’t hate; it’s indifference.”

–Steven Pressfield

Page 48: Here's to the Weirdos

Thanks to:

+ oldbookillustrations.comfor the old book illustrations, of course.

+ losttype.comfor the beautiful typefaces. You make my nerdy heart happy.

+ SoniaFor the amazing input, for interviewing me, for writing the best parts of the book, for proofreading, for providing delicious prov-ender while I toiled away at the computer, for encouragement, and for being wonderful.

+ RikkiFor proofreading, and for the great advice.

+ All weirdosfor letting me interview you, and for making the world a more interesting place.

AndHeDrew