hen newspaper

N e w s j u s t i N – j e s s h a s l e s s t h a n a m o n t h o f f r e e d o m l e f t !

By Amy Whiner

Yes that’s right, you read it correctly! Do not adjust your glasses, it’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth. A group of seven specially selected girls are planning to escape the daily grind in favour of a once-in-a-lifetime trip to the Big Apple! the reason? jess Carter is about to get hitched and they need to celebrate her last few days of freedom! Get ready New York, the Lancashire lasses are coming and they won’t be quiet about it!

Gossip Rumours of SATC tour trip seven girls follow in Carrie’s foot-steps when they get stateside Find out more on page 5!

Gossip The NYC Glamour Shootwhat? You haven’t heard about the glam fashion shoot in New York? Read all about it inside!

jess’s seCRet toiLet Fetish ReveALeD!

sexy Brits in semi-Nude Dare scandal

HenPos t10th - 14th November 2011

NiNe GiRLs esCApe & FLee to New YoRk

ok, so we all know jess is pretty weird – i mean she is our go-to girl for all weird ideas and wacky sug-gestions! But did you know that she has a full on toilet fetish? No, neither did we! Apparently, a source close to jess has revealed that she can-not go to the toilet in a public place without first making sure she has a host of special items, including hand sanitiser, a good friend to watch the door and a toilet seat cover – what a hassle!! Source Melissa Hubbard

Look INSIde For stories, gossip,

drinking games & dares

5page 2 Hen Post 10th November 2011•••

Hen Exc lus ives2 The FacTs Get the skinny on NYC

3 amy’s column Get in the mood for fun girls! it’s naughtiness from here on…

4 meeT The sTarleTs Get to know the hen line up – you’ll be bffs in a sec!

5. calendar oF evenTs the details of everything we’re going to be doing for our NYC hen party!

6 drinky-poos keep your wits about you and remember the rules – or else!

7 To do lisT tick everything off on this list before you return home!

8 musT haves Don’t forget any of these things – you have been warned!

9 secreTs 10 things you don’t know about our jess!

10 conTacTs don’t get lost now!

11 a little champagne game this is for the journey home, do not look!

F l i g h t D e t a i l s

Out: Flight BA3451Depart from Gatwick

10/11/10 at 1.10pm

Arrive: JFK, 8pm Met by Isabel in a Limosine!

Return: Flight BA3463Depart from JFK

14/11/10 at 11.25am

Arrive: Gatwick, 8pm Taxis, tubes etc.

Weather Report NYC is meant to be between 4°C and 10 °C, so expect to wrap up

warm – coats, scarves and gloves!

5 thiNGs You DiDN’t kNow ABout NYC

1. New York City was the u.s. capital from 1789 to 1790

6. the Big Apple is a term coined by musicians meaning to play the big time

3. More than 250 feature films are shot on location in New York City each year

4. there are over 3745 million shops in New York City

5. More than 12,700 licensed yellow taxis work the streets of New York City every day – most New Yorkers have perfected a taxi whistle to stop them

Hen Post 10th November 2011 page 3

GAMes

FoR t h e pLANe

30-Second Welcome note EXCLUSIVE

AMY whiNeR, ARMeD with the RespoNsiBLitY oF eNsuRiNG thAt jess is weLL LiquoReD

(Maid of Honour & Head Mischief Maker)

Hello girls, and welcome. I am absolutely deeeelighted to be planning the party of the century – that’s right, it’s our lovely Jess’s hen weekend. And where better

to spend it than in her fave city and home to her sister Isabel – New York!

Well, I’m getting excited just writing this, so I hope you’re feeling the tingles too as you read it! I’ve created this little book to let you all in on the plan for the hen do and also to share some of Jess’s most embarrassing secrets! Plus, it’ll be such a nice thing for us all to keep once we’re back this side of the pond! So, here’s to loads of fun and frolics in the Big, Bad Apple! love Amy xxx

Amy Whiner

isabel Carter who we all know and love dearly is organising everything stateside, so we are forever indebted to her. Not only is she making the all important suggestions, reservations and laying secret party plans that jess will love, love, love, she is also letting

us all stay at her and her hubbie’s place for the first two nights, making it über cheap for us. the last two nights, she has arranged for us all to stay in a suite at a very swish Manhatten hotel! so remember to say thanks to her girlies – i’ve heard she loves Malteasers!!!!!!!!

O u r N Y C C o r r e s p o n d e n t

Hen Post 10th November 2011•••

Meet the stARLets•••

A real world exclusive brought to you by the hen post. the cast list for the movie sex and the City three has been released!! And shock horror sarah jessica parker and co. have been replaced by a stellar line up of younger, hotter and definitely cooler girls!

•••

Name : jess willisRole: Bride-to-beLikes: older men, old movies and even older cheeses!

Name : josie tRole: usher Co-ordinatorLikes: organising things, tidying, cats and cuddles

Name : Camilla pRole: BridesmaidLikes: pouting, kissing younger boys and kebabs

Name : Amy wRole: Maid of honourLikes: making dresses, writing and online blogging

Name : Louise pRole: entertainment organiserLikes: Dancing, Djing, and eating chocolate hob nobs

Name : Charlie LRole: BridesmaidLikes: surfing, skiing and of course travelling the world

Name : isabel wRole: sister and Chief BridesmaidLikes: NYC, hot dogs and taking photos of stuff

Name : sarah vRole: Cake MakerLikes: Baking, dancing to Abba and doing DiY

Name : Annie MRole: hairdresser and BeauticianLikes: extensions, extensions, oh and extensions!

woRLD eXCLusive

Hen Post 10th November 2011 •••

10th Nov

take a Champagne fuelled Limousine ride through New York, seeing all of the bright lights, major sights and secret specials the city has to offer eight little jet-lagged but also very excited hens!

Finish the tour at isabel’s lovely flat in Brooklyn, where we will eat our tea, gossip and lay our heads down for a good night’s rest – loads of beauty sleep will be very important for the next few day’s events!

11th Nov

Alarms set for 10am as we’re heading for a hearty yank-style breakfast before the day’s sightseeing and shopping begins! put on your gladrags, but remember it’s going to be chilly and we are going to be walking.

issy has a list of cool ‘thrift’ stores for us to visit, and will be herding us up the statue of liberty, before lunch. then we can split up for serious shopping and meet back at isabel’s to change for dinner and a night of basketball – that means hot men, yummy!

12th Nov

we’ll get up for breakfast at 10am and will leave issy’s at 11am for the hotel transfer

we’ll take the metro to the very fashionable times square w hotel and can investigate the area/bar/shops, before arriving at the Four seasons hotel at 2pm to enjoy the spa – manicures, martinis and Afternoon tea all booked!

After the pampering, we will get ready for a night of drinks and debauchery – sAtC style! Dress to impress.

13th Nov

Last day in NYC, so we have of course got an ac-tion-packed day planned! sorry sleepy heads, it’s up at 9am, but you can enjoy breakfast in bed before getting ready for a lovely boat excursion that starts at 10.30am in the hotel foyer.

Lunch served on-board and the afternoon is free for you to do anything on issy’s cool stuff to do in NYC list – given out on the boat!

Meet back in the hotel foyer at 7pm for a very special hen party dinner!

piCk oF the weekeND11th November – 9pmthe all brilliant NBA basketball in Madsion square Gardens New York Nicks play the houston Rockets!!! (the rules don’t matter, just watch the lovely tall men jumping!)

HENS

CRitiCs’ ChoiCehere’s a round up of the best things to do in NYC – and guess what? it’s all booked for us! Yee-haw!

hen’s Drinking Games: No-one’s safe

page 6 Hen Post 10th November 2011•••

the heNGovA BeGiNsIt is reported that drinks are restricted to Champagne, wine, straight shots or cocktails. Drinking commences whenever and wherever you please.

Punishments are decided by the weights and measures committee (JESS).

1) coin drop – if you get a coin dropped in any vessel you are holding, you must down the contents (3 mins max)

2) Chicks on Parade – when summoned, assemble in front of General Jess and show your must haves. Punishments will be given for loss or damage!

3) Thumbmaster - last person to see the thumb on the table must down the drink

4) Issy’s Favourite Game – the frog story, you all know the rules!

5)low card – the person with the lowest card must down their drink – simples!

Jess-the-messLet’s take a moment to remember some of Jess’s most infamous drinking moments: • The sallichon wave – er dude that’s really not the words! • James and Jonesy – what on earth were you thinking Jess? • The Glasto longdrop – sicko!• Fabric under-age security guy debarcle – amazing, how one girl can be so drunk and so dumb!Any more that come to mind over the weekend result in a shot or dare penalty for Jess – come on hens, think!

speCiAL RepoRt: to Do oR Not to Do?exposed: the embarrassing list that must be complete before leaving NYC!

page 7Hen Post 10th November 2011 •••

Failure to each complete this list of dares will be punishable on the last night by jss!

1) scream “i love New York” when at a famous landmark!

2) Get a man’s number without mentioning the hen do – tricky!

3) stand up and hum the wedding March three times

4) eat something new5) tell the group the following

truths:• how old you were when you

first masturbated• who your fantasy shag is

• which teacher did you fancy at school?

• why you love jess!6) Buy a trashy souvenir7) talk to someone in your

best “New Yoik” accent!8) Get something for free – no

stealing girls! 9) kiss a fellow hen10) kiss a NYC dweller11) tell a random that it’s

jess’s hen do and that they should kiss her

shoCk News

whilst on a hen do, nine Lancashire lasses became Chicks on parade as they were asked to empty their pockets – the results were not pretty!

when the ‘Chicks’ were found missing important must-have items, they were sentenced to a horrific range of punishments!

Don’t let this happen to you reader, be prepared at all times – it’s the only way you’ll get through it!

page 8

Must Haves


M o r e n e w s - 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 , 6 , 7 , 8 , 9 , 1 0

By Ruth Boutler

SHOCKING quo quid et odi-

tiatur, aliciis doluptam qui

bea cone es sande endelit lit

quosam, incit ilique res eosa

perro magnatius eum ne labore

sim archill aborisi utem eossi-

mi, inum, as ipsanda escianderi

endelit lit quosam, incit ilique

ilique res eosa perro magna-

tius eum ne labore sim archill

aborisi utem eossimi, inum, as

ipsanda escianderi cusda dolute



GOSSIp Begged for sex with Gay manThe sad story she didn’t want you to find out which is now revealed. Find

out more on page 5!

GOSSIp Begged for sex with Gay manThe sad story she didn’t want you to find out which is now revealed. Find

out more on page 5!

Sexy BrIT’S SeCreT TOlIeT FeTISH

Sexy Brit in Semi Nude Scan-dal

HenPos t10th - 14th August 2011

NINe GIrlS eSCape &

Flee TO New yOrKBrITTNey got drunk one night

with some friends and thought it

would be funny to call up one of his

guy freinds. She claims she doesnt

remember calling him but left him a

voicemail explaining to him that “im

not kesha! i dont like beards! i like

you!”. and well he played that voice-

mail for everyone at school the fol-

lowing monday and now everyone

thinks im in love with him because

sober thoughts are drunken words!!

By Melissa Hubbard

Also InsIde Stories, more gossip,

drinking games, Dares

exposed exposed exposed

exposed exposed exposed

lipstickwhistle

sunnies

booklet

1. Can recite Ba Ba Black sheep which is an im-possible feat for us all.

2. she snores louder than a jumbo jet

3. her pet hates are bad breath & bad spelling

4. her middle names are Meridith, Mary

5. Can run faster than most men – 100m in 11.2 secs

6. sleepwalks on regular basis. watch out NYC!

7. has considered having a nose job

8. she auditioned for X factor, but didn’t make it through the first round!

9. Loves tall, older men (what happened ha ha??)

10. Lost her virginity at 15yrs and 11 months! tsk tsk!!!

Hen Post 10th November 2011 •••

10 things You DiDN’t kNow ABout jess!!

so You thiNk You kNow jess Do You? the heN post hAs FouND A LeAkeD DoCuMeNt oF seCRets!

JeSS WILLIS - “CAN RuN FAsteR

thAN Most MeN”

hen starlets suspeCteD to Be hiDiNG out At the w hoteL


W Hotel1567 BroadwayNew York, NY 10036 USA

jFk international Airport (jFk)

isabel’s NYC address :20 Morgan Av Brooklyn New York 11222 u s A

phone Numbers:jess

+(44) 7343 543564

Amy

+(44) 7244 638892

sarah

+(44) 7793 735244

issy

0179779862

Camilla

+(44) 7791 302673

Charlie

+(44) 7824 647738

josie

+(44) 7791 302673

Louise

+(44) 7824 647738

tAXi FARe RAtesinitial fare.............$2.50

each 1/5 mile (4 blocks).$0.40each 1 minute idle.......$0.40

peak surcharge...........$1.00 (after 4pm until 8pm Mon-Fri)Night surcharge..........$0.50 (after 8pm until 6am)

Champagne to be won with this word searCh

page 11Hen Post 10th November 2011 •••

g n i d l i u b e t a t s e r i p m e p kl l e r n b c l n g l t y y n a r o a r by t r e b i l f o e u t a t s y t r a a mb a l i p o l a e e l i r u l o k p c a kk b r o o k l y n b r i d g e a l w n n rb r l u i m n b s r a b o y v a o h r l db r o o k l y n b r i d g e r l a a e a ny n y y b u k k y r e w n t l t t r n g en e r g w e g o b a t u n e t b e b h d ek r m n d e i t e r e e y a y g b t n t ca e a y c e n r n t c o n n d s d y a b r

yellow cab Empire State Building central park New yorkstatue of liberty Brooklyn BridgeBrooklyn Bridge Park AvenueManhattan

yellow cab central park

statue of liberty

brooklyn bridge manhattan

empire state building

new york park avenue

if you are looking at this – get off this

page!!

only to be done on the return

trip to London. First one of you girls to

submit the word search fully and correctly wins a bottle of bubbly!

© thehangova 2011

We hope you have as much fun as possible but...

p l e a s e d r i n k r e s p o n s i b l y

thehang va.com®

page 12 Hen Post 10th November 2011•••

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