help! my college student wants to drop out!
DESCRIPTION
College Parents of America brings to you tips and advice on what to do if your college student wants to drop out of college.TRANSCRIPT
Don’t go to College without us….
College Navigation 911 – My College
Student Wants to Drop Out!
How to Help Your College Student in Trouble
Help! My College Student Wants to Drop Out!
As a parent of a college student, you may be taken completely
by surprise when your student comes home to announce that he
wants to drop out of college.
So much effort and emotional energy
went into the choice of college and
the admissions process, that it doesn’t
seem possible that your student could
want to quit now.
The reality is that, according to ACT (American College Testing)
“nearly 25% of students leave college before finishing their
sophomore year.”
College Navigation 911
Breathe!
• First of all, take a deep breath. This was probably not an easy decision for your student and it was probably difficult for her to come to talk to you. She will be watching carefully for your response.
• This may be one of those opportunities in your student’s life when you can strengthen or weaken your communication and relationship with her.
• Don’t say anything right now that you may regret later or that will close a
door.
College Navigation 911
Let’s Talk.
Once you’ve taken time to absorb your student’s announcement, it’s time to
talk. But what do you say?
Remember what you ask your student may be as important as what you tell your student. This will ultimately need to be his decision, but you can help him think through some of his reasons, and the implications of his decision. Respecting his feelings and helping him process his thoughts is
important.
Listening carefully – not only to the words, but to what he is saying between the lines – is crucial. Perhaps you will insist on some things in the end – that he return to school for one semester, that he support himself, that he move back home –but you will have respected his feelings and heard him out.
College Navigation 911
Help your student explore the reasons for this decision.
There are as many reasons for dropping out of college as there are students who drop out. Your student may have very good reasons, or she may not have thought carefully about why college doesn’t seem to be working for her. Help her try to honestly consider her situation.
• Is she homesick?
• Is she missing friends (or a
significant other) at home
or at another school?
• Is she academically
unprepared for college
level work?
• Is she unprepared for the
independence and
responsibility that college
requires?
• Has she spent too much
time/energy socializing
and neglected her work?
• Has she spent too much
time/energy socializing
and feels that things are
spinning out of control?
• Is she feeling burned out
and in need of a break
from school?
• Is she unfocused and
unsure of what she wants
to do with her life?
• Does she feel that her
college is not the right fit
for her?
• Is she feeling
unconnected and
isolated?
• Is she experiencing
a sophomore slump?
• Are there issues at home
that are diverting her
attention and energy from
school?
• Is she unable to focus on
school because she is
trying to balance a full
time job and school at the
same time?
• Does she simply feel that
the grass must be greener
somewhere else?
College Navigation 911
Consider alternatives.
Once your student begins to focus in on his reasons for wanting to leave school, you can help him consider his alternatives. Dropping out of college involves not only ending one chapter, but also beginning another. Your student needs to consider what his options may be.
• Give it one more
semester.
• If your student is going to
give school another
chance, help him think
about what he can
change next semester.
• Many students drop out
because they cannot
balance job and school at
the same time. Help your
student think about
whether he can afford to
quit a job or reduce work
hours so that he can focus
on school.
• Can he reduce his course
load to help with
balance? Suggest that
your student investigate
reducing his credit hours or
declaring part-time status.
• Should your student
consider a transfer to
another college rather
than dropping out? Is the
problem with school in
general or with this
particular school?
• Can he consider a leave-
of-absence rather than
dropping out? Having a
scheduled return date
may help him stay focused
while giving him a break.
• Can your student move
home and attend a local
college or take some on-
line courses?
College Navigation 911
Have a Plan.
If your student has decided, after careful consideration, that she needs the break and is going to drop out, encourage her to think about realities and to create a plan of action.
• Have a realistic discussion about money. Will she live home? Will she support
herself? Will she pay you rent? Will you help her financially or expect her to do this
herself? Does she already have loans that she will need to begin to repay? Help her
create a budget and think about realistic finances.
1
• Should she consider a course or two at a local college to begin to explore new areas
or majors? Will she be able to stay on track that way?2
• Could she consider a volunteer or experiential program such as City Year that will give
her experience in the world?3
• What does she want most to do with her time? Does she just need a break or does
she want to be moving ahead professionally? Where does she see herself one year
from now? Five years?4
• Will she spend a year or two working to save money so that she can return to school
without having to have a job at the same time?5
• Make a plan to sit down together in six months to reevaluate and reconsider options.6
College Navigation 911
Leaving college is a big move. Leaving college with a concrete
plan can be the difference between feeling like a failure and
feeling as though you are making a change of direction. Many
students who leave college return eventually with a renewed sense
of purpose and succeed. Helping your student stay focused on her
ultimate goals will help you both feel more positive about a difficult
decision.
Author: Vicki Nelson, College Parent CentralRead the complete article here at CollegeParents.org
You have questions, we have answers!
College Parents of America and get more tips and advice on:
The Path to Graduation: What’s your student’s timeline;
What to do if your college student is on academic probation;
How to help your student avoid “How to tell my parents” fears; and
Much More…
For more information, please contact us the following ways:
www.CollegeParents.org
888-761-6702