happiness & well-being
TRANSCRIPT
On HappinessFirst we’ll see three definitions:
● Buddhism● Hedonic vs eudaimonic well-being● Positive psychology
Then I’ll present my own approach
The Four Noble Truths of the BuddhaBuddhism is a life philosophy having “Four Noble Truths”:
1. Life is Dukkha (=suffering)2. Dukkha arises from craving and aversion3. Dukkha can be eliminated4. … by following the Eightfold Path.
Thus, happiness is the absence of suffering
On SufferingThe causes of suffering:
● Attainment of pleasure (craving)● Avoidance of pain (aversion)
Suffering = pain x resistance
The reason: everything is impermanent
The CureThe cure: the Eightfold Path, divided in three categories:
● Wisdom● Ethical conduct● Mental cultivation
The goal: by following the Path, your Karma will improve, ultimately resulting in Enlightenment and breaking free from the cycle of Samsara (birth, life, death)
According to Ancient GreeceThe Greek philosophers distinguish two types of well-being:
● Hedonic: attainment of pleasure and avoidance of pain● Eudaimonic: focus on meaning and self-realization
Hedonic Well-being● Maximize net pleasure = pleasure minus pain● Satisfaction with various domains of life.
Eudaimonic Well-being● Sense of control or autonomy● Feeling of meaning and purpose● Personal expressiveness● Feelings of belongingness● Social contribution● Competence● Personal growth● Self-acceptance.
Eudaimonic Well-beingTwo pathways:
● Personal development: try to be the best “you” while accepting you aren’t perfect
● Transcendence: transcending the personal for the sake of something larger than oneself, without losing oneself, leading to some external utility of one's life○ children○ meaningful work○ wider community○ spirituality○ ...
Positive PsychologyPositive psychology describes three overlapping areas:
● The pleasant life: pursue positive feelings● The good/engaged life: use your strengths to obtain
gratification● The meaningful life: use your strengths in the service of
something much larger.
The Pleasant Life● Pursue positive feelings about the past, present, future● Maximise positive feelings and minimise negative feelings● Similar to hedonic well-being.
The Good/Engaged Life● Use your strengths & virtues to obtain gratification in
the main realms of your life● Be actively involved in life and all that it demands● Apply your best during challenging activities that result
in growth and a feeling of competence and satisfaction● Barometer = state of “flow”: the process of being
immersed and absorbed in the task at hand.
The Meaningful Life● Meaning is the process of having a higher purpose in life
than one’s self● Like the good life, apply your strengths & virtues in
activities, but the difference is that these activities are perceived to contribute to the greater good.
My Own ApproachThese five pillars...
● Essence of Buddhism● Self-care & self-acceptance● Increasing awareness● Living passionately● Finding meaning in life
... result in nine practical elements of a happy life that you need to turn into habits
Element 1: Practice Self-Care● Exercise regularly● Eat healthy and balanced● Rest when tired● Sleep well● In short: listen to your body.
Your reward: a sense of inner gratitude
Element 2: Live in the Here and Now● Be aware of where your thoughts are (past/present/future)● Feel the sensations in your body● Use your senses as gateway to the here and now● Pay attention to your emotions in the moment● Don’t sidestep difficult emotions● Stop the chatter in your mind on a regular basis● Slow down.
Element 3: Know and Accept Yourself● Learn about your specific needs● Find your core values● Understand and accept your personal history● Identify internalized beliefs● Know when you’ve entered “victim mode”● Really believe you are enough.
Element 4: Be Authentic● Stand up for your needs● Don’t be afraid to be “different”● Have the courage to be vulnerable● Drop your mask(s).
Your reward: a sense of freedom
Element 5: Live Your Purpose● Think about the impact you want to create in your life● Pursue what makes your heart beat faster● Notice what gets you out of bed in the morning● Determine what you want to be remembered for.
Your reward: a sense of direction
Element 6: Keep Learning● Seek mental challenges● Use failure for good● Find inspiration in others' success.
Element 7: Connect With Your Tribe● Spend time with like-minded people● Share your weaknesses with those you trust● Find the shared humanity in all of us
Your reward: a sense of belonging
Element 8: Use Your Strengths● Believe in your natural abilities● Use your best traits in different ways.
Element 9: Help Others● Help others in small and big ways● Share your experience and “wisdom”● Use your strengths in service of others● Wish for others to transcend you.
Recap1. Practice self-care2. Live in the here and now3. Know and accept yourself4. Be authentic5. Live your purpose6. Keep learning7. Connect with your tribe8. Use your strengths9. Help others.
Ancient Wisdom“Everyone is a house with four rooms: a physical, a mental, an emotional, and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.”
- Indian proverb
Bronnie Ware on the Regrets of the Dying1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself,
not the life others expected of me.2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
(Source: Bronnie Ware, an Australian nurse)