hacking happiness - m. ackerman

8/13/2019 Hacking Happiness - M. Ackerman

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Hacking

Happiness

The Great Living Series


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Great Living Nowgreatlivingnow.com
http://greatlivingnow.com/http://greatlivingnow.com/


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Demystifying Happiness

How Happy Are You?

Happy Time

Happy Relationships

Work For Happiness Buying Happy Times

Happy Attitude

Live Now

Active Gratitude

Openness & Honesty

Happy Body

e Body-Mind Connection

Food For Happiness

Exercise For Happiness

Sleep For Happiness

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Aristotle called it the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of

human existence. It's why we work. It's why we rest. It's why we look for love.

And it's why you are reading this book.

From the moment we are born, until our very last breath, we yearn for it, we

struggle for it, and we search for it.

O Happiness, Happiness, wherefore art thou Happiness?

e problem is that sometimes, no matter how hard we try, happiness seems to

elude us.

What if I told you that there is a direct, effective way to achieve happiness? What if

I also told you that there is a straightforward way to attain and sustain it? What if I

told you that you could hackhappiness?

Hacking happiness is no joke. It is all about getting down to what happiness really

is and then following the most directway to achieve it.


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When I first learned that psychologists have a formal, reliable definition of

happiness, I was very surprised. e definition seemed too simple at first. But the

more I thought about it, the more I realized how useful this definition is.

We overcomplicate happiness. Happiness is, in fact, quite simple. But in order to

hack happiness, we must first understand what it is.

Psychologists define happiness as overall life satisfaction. People who are more

satisfied with their life experience more moments with positive emotions (called

positive affect) and fewer moments with negative emotions (called negative affect)1.

If you divide someones positive affect (number of positive moments) by their

negative affect (number of negative moments), youd get their well-being score,

which tells us how happy they are.

Hacking happiness is about striving to have as many good moments, and as few bad

moments as possible. is is the most direct way to attain a high level of satisfaction

with life.

In this book, I will show you how to have more positive moments and fewer

negative ones. Not only will you find happiness, but you will also be able to hold

on to it.

But first, lets see how happy you already are.

Happiness =positive moments

negative moments

1Diener, E. and Emmons, R.A. e independence of positive and negative affect. Journal of Personality and SocialPsychology, 47, 1105-1117, 1985.


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If we are going to be serious about improving your happiness, well need some way tomeasure it. And not just any old way. Well use the method that psychologists apply

in their studies.

We cant possibly go through and count all of our positive and negative experiences.

In 1985, Ed Diener (nicknamed Dr. Happiness) proposed a test that works just as

well. It is called the Satisfaction with Life Scale.

You can do this test now, and come back to it in several months, aer youve had timeto practice the tools presented in this book. is will help you keep track of your

progress.

Using the 7-point scale provided below, rate your agreement with each item. Be

open and honest in your responses.

1. In most ways, my life is close to my ideal.

2. e conditions of my life are excellent.

3. I am satised with my life.

4. So far, I have gotten the important things I want in life.

5. If I could live my life over again, I would change almost

nothing.

1=strongly disagree

2=disagree

3=slightly disagree

4=neither agree nor disagree

5=slightly agree

6=agree

7=strongly agree

7-Point ScaleSatisfaction With Life Scale


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Add up your scores for each question, and then consult the following legend:

30 - 35 You love your life.

25 - 29 You like your life.

20 - 24 You are satised with your life.

15 - 19 You are slightly satised with your life.

10 - 14 You are dissatised with your life.

5 - 9 You are extremely dissatised with your life.

Now that you know how happy you are, it is important to understand that

happiness can be improved. You can and will become happier. We will show you

how.


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Your happiness comes down to how you spend your time.e more oen what you want to do aligns with whatyou are actually doing, the happier you will be. In this

section, we will show you three effective ways to alignyour time with your desires.

SECTION 1


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What do you think is the number one predictor of happiness? Its not hard to guess.e number one predictor of happiness is relationship satisfaction. at is, the

number one thing that happy people have in common is that they are satised withtheir romantic relationships.

Humans are social animals. We share a deep, profound need for connection.

Many of our moments, be they positive or negative, are spent with our close ones. Assuch, our satisfaction with our relationships colors our lives.

As adults, we are lucky to be able to choose the people with whom we interact. Most

importantly, we get to choose our partner, who becomes a key player in our life andhappiness.

What do you look for in a relationship? I used to have a list. He had to be tall. Hedenitely had to be smart. He had to have brown hair and blue eyes, hmmm... I guess

dark eyes are also OK. e list went on and on, and kept evolving.

It took me a long time to realize that no list was ever going to cut it.ey all missed

the mark.

Why do we look for relationships? Its hardly a secret. We are well aware that our

search for love stands at the heart of our search for happiness.


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Lets return to the denition of happiness and see what it has to say aboutrelationships.

Since happiness comes down to the number of positive and negative moments, thebest way to predict whether someone will make you happy is to compare the number

of positive and negative moments that they bring into your life.

In this case, both quality and quantity matter. One good evening every several

months isnt going to cut it. Its about your everyday life together.

Also, remember that whether a moment is positive or negative is based entirely on

how you feel. A positive moment is one in which you experience a positive emotion,and a negative moment is one in which you experience a negative emotion.

In this sense, a suitable partner is one who makes you feel good on a regular basis,and rarely brings about bad feelings. Welcome people into your life who bring you

many moments of joy, and few moments of pain.is is all that really matters.

is simple principle will help you identify a good partner who will make you happy

with a lot more accuracy and speed than any other criterion or long winded list.

If you are currently in a relationship, take a moment to ask yourself: does your

partner make you feel good? Is your time together predominantly positive? If so,then youve got yourself a keeper.

While all relationships go through rough times, these should be few and farbetween. Your overall relationship should be lled with positive emotions.

Some relationships consistently bring down our happiness ratio, in which case, wewould literally be happier alone.

is principle does not apply solely to your romantic relationships. It applies to allthose you let into your life. Choose friends that ll your life with good moments,

whose company you genuinely enjoy.

Fill your life with people who bring happy moments into your life, and one ray at a

time, they will light your life with happiness.


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Work forhappinessChoose a job you love, and

you will never have to work

a day in your life.- Confucius

Following relationship satisfaction, the second most powerful predictor of happinessis the quality of our work life.1,2

Why is work satisfaction so important to our happiness? We spend so much time at

work that many of our moments - be they positive or negative - happen there. As aresult, how much you enjoy your work has a substantial impact on your overall lifesatisfaction.

By the time we come home, only a few waking hours remain. Not only that, but mostof us are so tired aer work that we can hardly enjoy these hours.

As we can see, job satisfaction has a high impact on our happiness. But, what use is

this information? Depending on your situation, it could mean several diff

erentthings.

Sometimes, merely the knowledge that job satisfaction plays such a critical role in our

happiness is itself invaluable.

Some of us nd ourselves unhappy, even though everything looks great on the

surface. We make a good living, we have a home in a good neighborhood and a loving


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1Judge, T. A., & Klinger, R. (2008). Job satisfaction: Subjective well-being at work. In M. Eid & R. J. Larsen(Eds.),e science of subjective well-being (pp. 393413).New York: Guilford.

2Argyle, M. (2001). e psychology of happiness (2nd ed.).New York: Routledge.

marriage - and yet, we nd ourselves miserable. Realizing that the root of the problemmay rest with our job can be our rst step to nding happiness.

But, what can you do if you dont like your job? One approach is to try to make yourjob more enjoyable. Perhaps you would like to move onto a different project, or take

on a different role. It might be possible to nd happiness at work without making

radical changes in your life.

On the other hand, you may want to explore the possibility of changing careers.isis a more radical path, but for some of us, this is the only true way to nding

happiness. e job of your dreams can upliyou and your happiness to levels thatyou may now only imagine.


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We live in a materialistic society. Our society values fancy cars and large houses. Ourstorage rooms overow with things. Although it is impossible to use everything wealready have, we still feel the impulse to buy even more.

is isnt our fault. From the moment we wake up, until we go to bed, we are

bombarded by advertisements. We have been convinced that buying will make ushappy.

But as you may have already noticed, the happiness we get from buying somethingdoesnt last. Within a few short days, all excitement evaporates.

is doesnt only apply to small purchases. We get used to a large house about asquickly as we do to a new appliance. In the long run, things simply dont have theability to make us happy.

On the other hand, when you spend your money on experiences, you are buying good

moments.is is a direct investment in your happiness.

Also, consider spending money on many small pleasures, instead of a few big ones.

e idea is to generate as many positive moments as possible.


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Instead of going on one expensive vacation per year, build many positive experiences

into your daily life. Go for a night out, invest in a hobby, go for that weekend getaway.

You can also use your money to reduce the number of bad moments. If much of your

time is occupied doing chores that you dont enjoy, consider hiring help. You can then

replace those bad, boring moments with moments that are lled with joy.


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It isnt only what happens to you that denes yourhappiness. Your attitude towards life plays a critical role. Iwill share with you three ways to adjust your perspective

that will have an immediate effect on your overallhappiness.

SECTION 2


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We live our lives as if we have to earn the right to be happy. We wait for that big

promotion. We wait to nd the one. We wait for retirement. Only then, will we

nally live happily ever aer.

But, sadly, the day never seems to come. We are so goal oriented that before a second

has passed since our last achievement, were already onto the next big thing.

Forget the future. You deserve to be happy right now.

Being focused on right now will also help you accomplish your goals. at level of

focus always gets the job done.Better still, this attitude allows you to enjoy the

reward of your accomplishments.

On the other hand, if our brain gets a lot of practice worrying, jumping around from

the past to the future, then by the time we meet our next goal, we are so used to

worrying that we almost instantly nd something else that may go wrong. e vicious

cycle repeats. Only you can put an end to it.


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Whenever we worry, it is almost always about the future, or about the past. Most of

the time, the present moment gives us nothing to worry about. By living in the

present moment, you deprive your worries of the very thing that fuels them.

e present moment is the only moment that you really have.e past is history, and

the future is a mystery. Make this moment a happy one by choosing to stay present.

e easiest way to increase your ability to remain present is to practice meditation.

Begin by setting a goal - how oen and for how long do you want to practice? I would

recommend setting the goal at 15 minutes, every day. To reach that goal, lets break it

down further. Start with 5 minutes, 3 times a week. Aer one week, increase that to 5

times a week.en, aer another week, 7 times.

Aer youve managed to increase your meditation practice to 7 times a week at 5

minutes, start increasing the time.

You will nd, before you even reach the full 15 minutes, 7 times a week, that your

focus has increased. Your ability to remain present will also be much better, and will

only increase further with time.

For help on meditation, there are many great (and free!) sites, videos, and guided

meditations available online.

Yoga is also a great way of teaching yourself to remain present. e whole practice is

about bringing yourself wholly into your body, in the present moment.

If you can incorporate one or two sessions of yoga per week with your meditative

practice, then you will see results even faster.


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By now, you already know that the whole point of this book is to increase the numberof positive moments that you experience in your life. But what if I told you that therewas a way to multiply a single positive moment into many more?

ere is a way. It is calledactive gratitude.

Active gratitude is the process of actively recounting what is good in life. Withpractice, active gratitude can prolong the inuence of positive events. Moreover,practicing gratitude improves physical health, raises energy levels and, for patientswith neuromuscular disease, relieves pain and fatigue1.

You can practice active gratitude by keeping a gratitude journal - a diary in which you

write things for which you are thankful. Taking the time to count your blessings oncea week signicantly increases your overall satisfaction with life within just six weeks2.

Before you go to sleep tonight, take a moment to count 10 good things in your life.

e rst time you do this, you may have a hard time getting all the way up to 10. But,

if you do this for a few more days, good things will come to mind effortlessly.


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Count 10 good things that happened this very day. As you get used to this exercise,

you may be amazed how many good things happen each and every single day, when

we take the time to think about them.

Try this simple exercise, and it will make a substantial diff

erence to your happiness.And, if you ever have trouble falling asleep, it works a lot better than counting sheep!

1Emmons, R.A., and McCollough, M.E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: And experimental inestigation ofgratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 377-389.

2Lyubomirsky, S., King, L. A., and Diener, E. e benets ofequent positive affect: Does happiness lead to success?Psychological Bulletin, 131, 803-855, 2005.


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Some of the most beautiful moments in our lives happen when we are open andhonest about who we are. Openness and honestly are some of most effective pathwaysto happiness.

Because we care so much about our relationships, we fall into the trap of trying toplease others at the expense of being true to ourselves. Craving acceptance andapproval, we pretend that we are a little different from who we really are - sometimes,very different.

We say things we dont mean. We pretend to agree when we secretly disagree. Wehide who we really are for fear that we will not be loved and accepted for our realselves.

Furthermore, much of what we do doesnt correspond with who we are. You maywant to rest, but instead stay up late washing the dishes and scrubbing theoor (whatif the neighbor drops by and sees this mess?)

You crave an evening alone, but agree to go out with your partner anyways. Whatsworse, you can be so afraid to rock the boat that you may not even mention what youreally want.


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is leaves us feeling empty and disconnected. Because no matter how muchapproval we receive for the masks that we put on, deep down inside we know that itisnt really us.

To create meaningful connections with others, we must call upon great courage - thecourage to be ourselves. To speak our mind honestly. To share deep from the heart. Toshow our true selves.

is type of openness creates opportunity for real and very deep connections withothers. As a result, we know that others know who we really are. is leads to agreater sense of worthiness, as we realize that people love the real us.

As our connections with others grow deeper, our feeling of being connectedincreases, as does our self-esteem and feelings of self-worth. All of this leads to a hugeboost in how happy we feel.


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One of the most important portals to happiness is yourbody. We will discuss the body-mind connection and getyou started on your journey to health with three effective

techniques you could start applying today.

SECTION 3


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We tend to view our bodies and minds as separate. Nothing could be further from the

truth.

You are your body. Your body captures everythingyou feel during every moment of

every day. Your mood is 100% represented by the chemicals in your body.

If you are not convinced, just think about what drugs can do to our bodies: drinking,

antidepressants and other drugs can radically affect how we feel.

You brain contains chemicals called neurotransmitters.ey fully determine how you

feel right now, or at any other moment. You need enough neurotransmitters, and the

right balance of them, to feel good.

Drugs, be they pharmaceutical or recreational, work by affecting our brain chemistry.


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I was very surprised when I rst learned how much food affects our happiness.

How to eat is a huge subject. e best diet foryou(the one that will maximizeyour

happiness) is based on your own unique physiological makeup. In this chapter, I will

explain how food effects ourhappinessand address the most common dietary mistakes.

How Food Aff

ects Your Happiness1)It proides the raw materials.What you eat affects the chemical balance in your brain.

Your food gives your body the nutrients necessary to create the right balance of

neurotransmitters, which in turn creates good feelings and makes you happy.

2)It inuences the health of our organs. In order toconvert food into neurotransmitters, you

need healthy internal organs. When our organs are malfunctioning, our body is unable

to create the right balance of neurotransmitters - no matter what we feed it. As a result,

in the long run, the health of your internal organs is a key player in your happiness.

One of the most common dietary errors is to eat in a way that destroys our organs. Its the

typical unhealthy diet: too much fat, too much meat, too many sweets, and generally too

much food. Too much food, especially processed food, strains our internal organs. Over

time, our bodies become unable to convert food properly, an unable to produce a healthy

brain chemistry.


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e other common dietary error, which is increasingly common today, is to go way offin

the opposite direction (and thats what I did - for twelve years). is is when instead of

eating a lot of everything, we radically limit our food consumption, either by simply not

eating enough or by seriously limiting the types of food that we eat. e problem with this

approach is that over time, our bodies become depleted of nutrients and no longer have the

raw material needed to make us happy.

is is not to say that food omissions cannot be done property. Indeed, at times, health

conditions render them necessary. But it takes a lot of research and much care to do that

properly. Otherwise, omitting some foods can have serious consequences on our happiness

and health.

So, how should we eat? I spent many months researching food and what it does to thebody. In the end, I came to the conclusion that the traditional, simple, and balanced meal

does more for our happiness than just about anything else.

What is a balanced traditional meal? Some protein (meat,sh, or beans), some

carbohydrates (grains, pasta, or bread), some vegetables, and a little bit of fat. e type of

protein, carbohydrates, and vegetables should vary between meals. Below I explain why

each component is necessary, what part it plays, and why variety is key.

Protein.Proteins are made up of amino acids. ese are the raw materials for

neurotransmitters. If you dont give your body enough amino acids, it has no hope of

creating a healthy brain chemistry.

Now, not all protein-rich foods are created equal. Some have a lot more amino acids than

others. Some are a lot easier to digest than others. Additionally, the types of amino acids

contained in different protein-heavy foods vary substantially.

Deciency in even a single amino acid can have an array of symptoms affecting every part

of our body and inuencing our mood.

On the other hand, consuming too much protein will strain your internal organs, so

moderation is key.


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Carbohydrates.Carbohydrates help transport amino acids, so that your brain can use

them to create neurotransmitters. Carbohydrate rich foods are essential to the process. It

works best when protein and carbohydrates are eaten together in the same meal. Whole,

unprocessed carbohydrates, such as whole grains, work best because they slow down the

digestion process. is gives your body enough time to absorb and transport the raw

ingredients to your brain.

Fat. Fat has a terrible reputation, but our brain need it to be happy. In fact, our brain is

made up of 60% fat! On the other hand, large quantities of fat can spell disaster for our

internal organs.e best thing to do is to eat small amounts of fat with a protein, as

protein helps digest fat. As with other food, make sure that you vary the type of fat you eat,

choosing among natural, unsweetened varieties.

Vegetables/Fruits.ese aid in digestion, and provide your body with vitamins and

minerals that also keep your organs healthy in the long run. Different types of vegetables

and fruits contain radically different vitamins and minerals. A deciency in as much as a

single vitamin or mineral can substantially hurt ones well-being, so its important to vary

your vegetables and eat them frequently.

Final Word of Advice

Whenever possible, choose food that is fresh, organic, or local (or all of the above). ese

are much denser in nutrients.

Avoid buying food with ingredients that you cant pronounce. ese ingredients are very

difficult to digest and will put a lot of strain on your organs.

Finally, listen to your body. Be mindful of how different foods affect your health and

your mood and adjust your diet accordingly.

For me, returning to a simple, varied diet was a life saver.is is what made the biggest

difference to my happiness. But I would have never tried this simple advice had I not

understood the science behind how diet affects happiness. I hope that this information

will help some of my readers restore happiness to their lives.


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Physical exercise is one of the most effective ways to raise your mood, and, over time,

improve your overall happiness.

ere are many forms of exercise. Try them out, and choose the one(s) you like best.

Cardio (exercise that increases your heart rate) leads to the release of endorphins.isdecreases stress and creates a wonderful relaxing feeling. Now those are some good

moments!

In addition, long term cardiovascular training is associated with improved overallhealth. Remember: you are your body! By improving your health, you are making apositive contribution to your happiness.

But dont overdo it. Excessive exercise can overstrain your body and even increaseanxiety.

Gentler forms of exercise, such as yoga, can be done more frequently. Relaxationexercises help relieve stress. Yoga teaches us mindfulness, helping us to stay focused onthe present moment.

Make exercise a part of your life, and you will immediately feel how it boosts yourmood. Over time, it will make a lasting impact on your overall happiness.


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One of the very best things you can do for your happiness is to get adequate sleep. Sleep

is when our body detoxies, restores, and heals. It is when our brain chemistry is restored

to a healthy state. When you wake up aer a good, restful sleep, youre already happier.

Life is easier aer a good nights sleep.

If you are not getting enough, every bit of extra sleep counts. An extra half an hour ofsleep per night, or one more day per week where you can get proper rest can make a real

difference.

One the best ways to add sleep to your life is to go to bed earlier. But many of us nd

ourselves unable to do so, no matter how hard we try. One of the main reasons we have

trouble turning in at night is exposure to bright light. Watching TV before going to bed

confuses your body into thinking that it is daytime.

Avoid the use of all light emitting electronics for a least an hour before going to bed. It

also helps to reduce the lighting in your bedroom and bathroom at night.

e beautiful thing about sleep is that itdoesnttake long to feel its benets. Aer a good

nights sleep, you should feel the improvement right away. But over time, the healing

power of sleep is nothing short of extraordinary.


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If you enjoyed his book, then you will also enjoy the many free articles we have

on our website atwww.greatlivingnow.com.

Our articles span a wide range of topics, from happiness and love, to

mindfulness and meditation, to money and productivity. On each topic we

discuss, we share with you effective, actionable advice.

Continue to learn & grow
http://www.greatlivingnow.com/http://www.greatlivingnow.com/


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Maya Ackerman, PhD. divides her timebetween research, writing, teaching, singing,

and her family. She has authored over a dozen

academic articles, and is a cofounder of Great

Living Now.

Maya is passionate about personal

development, and her mission is to provide

others with the tools they need to become the

best that they can be.

She lives with her husband and son in

Pasadena, California.

About The author

A note from the authorank you for reading my guide to happiness. I believe that happiness is our birthright.I wrote this book to help my readers create a happier, more joyful life.

Please take a moment to let me know what you think. Email me a note [email protected].

If there is enough interest, I will write an expanded version of this book. Please mentionin your email if this is something that would interest you.

To your happiness!

Yours truly,

Maya
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]


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Coming Soon...


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Attributions

Demystifying Happiness photo by Camdiluv -view on Flickr

How Happy Are You? photo by Camdiluv -view on Flickr

Happy Time photo by Abnormalbeauty -view on Flickr

Happy Relationships photo by Kevin Buehler -view on Flickr

Work For Happiness photo by Bogenfreund -view on Flickr

Buying Happy Times photo by World of Oddy -view on Flickr

Happy Attitude photo by Indy Kethdy -view on Flickr

Live Now photo by Evan Leeson -view on Flickr

Active Gratitude photo by Shereen M -view on FlickrOpenness & Honesty photo by ShamtiNB -view on Flickr

Happy Body photo by D. Sharon Pruitt -view on Flickr

Body-Mind Connection photo by Tony Armstrong -view on Flickr

Food For Happiness photo by D. Sharon Pruitt -view on Flickr

Exercise For Happiness photo by Mash Talker -view on Flickr

Sleeping Your Way To Happiness photo by cinnamon_girl -view on Flickr

Laughdesigned by Nathan Borrorfrome Noun Project

Disclaimer

All data and information provided in this book is for informational purposes

only.Great Living Now and/or the author make no representations as to accuracy,

completeness, currentness, suitability, or validity of any information in this book and

will not be liable for any errors, omissions, or delays in this information or any losses,

injuries, or damages arising from its display or use. All information is provided on an

as-is basis. Before doing any exercise(s) or health related activities mentioned in this

book, or participating in any exercise program, consult with your physician.
http://thenounproject.com/nathan/%23http://thenounproject.com/nathan/%23http://thenounproject.com/noun/laugh/%23icon-No5562http://thenounproject.com/noun/laugh/%23icon-No5562http://www.flickr.com/photos/cinnamon4girl/5362601201/http://www.flickr.com/photos/cinnamon4girl/5362601201/http://www.flickr.com/photos/maheshkhanna/2175184797/http://www.flickr.com/photos/maheshkhanna/2175184797/http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/2421441730/http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/2421441730/http://www.apple.com/http://www.apple.com/http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/4053524544/http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/4053524544/http://www.flickr.com/photos/smb_flickr/468886018/http://www.flickr.com/photos/smb_flickr/468886018/http://www.flickr.com/photos/shereen84/3062251754http://www.flickr.com/photos/shereen84/3062251754http://www.flickr.com/photos/ecstaticist/1340787730/http://www.flickr.com/photos/ecstaticist/1340787730/http://www.flickr.com/photos/indykethdy/3091713895/http://www.flickr.com/photos/indykethdy/3091713895/http://www.flickr.com/photos/worldofoddy/1174957045/http://www.flickr.com/photos/worldofoddy/1174957045/http://www.flickr.com/photos/bogenfreund/556656621/http://www.flickr.com/photos/bogenfreund/556656621/http://www.flickr.com/photos/buehlerphoto/5076792421/http://www.flickr.com/photos/buehlerphoto/5076792421/http://www.flickr.com/photos/13365478@N07/6025754547/http://www.flickr.com/photos/13365478@N07/6025754547/http://www.flickr.com/photos/camdiluv/4439127571/http://www.flickr.com/photos/camdiluv/4439127571/http://www.flickr.com/photos/camdiluv/4441155157/http://www.flickr.com/photos/camdiluv/4441155157/http://thenounproject.com/nathan/%23http://thenounproject.com/noun/laugh/%23icon-No5562

hacking happiness - m. ackerman

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