Child and Adolescent Community Health

Community Health Manual

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GUIDELINE

Conflict resolution

Scope (Staff): School Health

Scope (Area): CACH, WACHS

This document should be read in conjunction with this DISCLAIMER

Background

Conflict is generally conceptualised as at least one incident of mutual opposition and so its resolution requires actions that terminate the oppositional exchange. The strategies employed to overcome conflict commonly include overt anger, compromise, avoidance, social support, obliging and distraction6. Conflict and disagreements are an inevitable part of life and the potential for conflict exists because people have different needs, views and values.4 The challenge for schools is to find ways of managing conflict constructively so those involved can learn and grow from the experience.2

Conflict resolution skills are influenced by individual traits such as temperament; family traits such as parenting styles; peer factors such as pressures to adhere to group norms; and cultural factors such as gender and ethnic socialisation5. Verbal assertiveness and a non-confrontational response are popular types of conflict resolution responses for young people. Further to this, gender socialisation differences in communication styles appear to make girls and boys vulnerable to different conflict resolution problems: an aggressive style seems to be more typical for boys, whereas girls tend to be more

verbally assertive.5

Conflict is not always resolved in the moment, for example school-related conflicts are

sometimes settled outside of school.5 Students overwhelmingly choose to address conflict on their own, which is developmentally consistent with the emerging autonomy of

early adolescents.5 Self-efficacy and self-control are significant predictors of conflict

resolution styles.5

Community health nurses working in schools can intervene with children in ways that build their self-efficacy and self-control around social conflicts.5 For young people to be satisfied with the way a dispute or problem has been resolved, they need to feel that: the process was fair, the agreement or decision reached was reasonable, the relationship between parties has been helped by the process, and they can manage their relationship in the future.2

General principles

Explain that the consultation is confidential and private, with very few exceptions. Discuss conditional confidentiality, and explain that as a health professional, there are times when the law requires you to share certain details. See Confidentiality and Adolescents guideline

Encourage and support adolescents to inform their parents or guardian about significant health issues. The support provided should reflect the maturity of the

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individual, significance of the issue, and the particular circumstances of each case.

Review the school conflict resolution and behaviour management policies and procedures; ensure you are familiar with them. Encourage open discussion with school staff on issues of potential conflict. When conflict arises consult with an appropriate representative within school services who may be able to assist, for example the school administrator.

Conflicts don’t have to be avoided. Conflict can be positive, providing young people with an opportunity to take a close look at themselves and their attitudes and beliefs. If resolved positively, conflicts can help strengthen relationships and build greater understanding of self and others.4 It is important to note that in some situations intervention is not required; it may be more appropriate to redirect the young person to talk calmly with the other person/s about grievances first.

An immediate response to conflict needs to be managing the emotion before resolution. It may be helpful to validate the young person’s feelings of anger, frustration and distress, and allow some time to calm before problem solving.

Young people require the knowledge, skills practice and confidence in their ability to resolve conflict.5 The school nurse can be pivotal in modelling appropriate conflict resolution skills, helping young people to practice skills and facilitating restorative justice.

Accept that sometimes we cannot get to the ultimate truth. Often fault is unclear and people can agree to accept the ambiguous situation. It is best to accept this and focus on who was affected and the damage done to the relationship9.

It may be necessary to be an advocate for the young person in a conflict situation. For example, when conflict is between the young person and a teacher or in situations in which the young person may otherwise be isolated, and/or requires additional emotional support.

Perceived fairness is an important criterion in conflict resolution.5

Issues of context and psychological factors must be taken into account in efforts to understand and promote appropriate conflict resolution skills.6

It is important to talk about potential conflicts and try to prevent them. Early intervention in conflict is most advantageous to avoid escalation of issues and associated emotional distress.

Role of community health staff

Intervention can fall into four categories:

1. Individual work: includes health counselling with the individual

2. Group work: is useful when there are a few young people with similar issues.

a. Group work encourages social skills, active participation and shared problem solving as well as learning. Four participants is the optimum size to manage student learning.

3. Whole class strategies: providing universal learning experiences about conflict resolution

4. Local partnerships: includes working in conjunction with school services staff such as school psychologist or Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services.3

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Immediate strategies: calm and de-escalate

Have empathy

Look at the issue from the young person’s point of view. What are the feelings behind the behaviour?

Anger is a second emotion. It is a normal emotion to a stressful event. It is important to look for underlying feelings e.g. sadness, frustration, stress.

If anger is not expressed, it can lead to stress. Explain to the young person: “It is OK to get angry and it is healthy to express anger as long as it does not hurt anybody or damage anything.”

Some healthy ways to deal with anger are: write, paint, and stomp your feet, scream into a pillow, go for a run or talk to someone. You may like to give the young person a bean bag to throw against wall/floor.

Refer to Anger Management guidelines for more information W rite it down

Writing a letter can be a good way to safely express grievances and feelings of anger, sadness and frustration.

The aim of writing down feelings is to de-escalate the situation. It is important to destroy the document afterwards and not distribute it.

Affective Questions and Statements9

1. Find out what happened: talk about the incident without blaming

2. Using relational questions to bring out who was affected and how

3. Discussing what needs to happen to make things right takes the discussion from the past and problem solves it in the future.

Questions: What happened?

o How did it happen?

o How did you act in this situation?

o Who do you think was affected? o

How were they affected?

o How were you affected?

o What needs to happen to make things right?

o If the same situation happens again how could you behave differently?

Allow Learning Opportunities

Encourage the young person involved in the conflict to look for the solution or

reach a compromise, rather than solve the problem for them. This allows them the opportunity to learn.

Ask their opinion e.g. “I’m not quite sure – have you had any thoughts about what you should do in that situation?”

Use reflective questioning to promote awareness, make comparisons, consider options and come up with a plan. See Appendix Two.

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Be Aware of Support Networks

Have information available and provide when necessary e.g. friends, family, neighbours, church groups, children’s helpline, relationships Australia, parenting supports. See ‘Associated Tools, Resources and Procedures’ for more information.

Later strategies: Learning new skills

Establish current conflict resolution styles

Determine the current conflict resolution styles the young person uses: “Tell me about what kind of reactions you have when someone annoys you or makes you angry…”

Try writing down the “issue”, or event, the “thoughts and feelings” associated with the issue and the “actions”, or what the young person usually does. Once some patterns of conflict resolution are established, help the young person understand which styles they use and when (see Appendix One). It is important for the young person to understand there are different styles of conflict resolution. Identify with the young person which styles are most helpful for different situations.

Help the young person understand if there are any triggers for conflict – for example particular people, associated feelings or times of the day.

Steps for Conflict Resolution

Share with the young person these simple steps for conflict resolution:

1. Think about the problem.

2. Say what you feel.

3. Listen to the other person.

4. Brainstorm solutions: Take time for each young person to brainstorm about possible solutions to the problem. Come up with a list of options without immediately judging them or feeling committed to them.

5. Decide what each person will do.

6. Stick to what you have decided.

7. Talk again if the solution is not working.

Staying Calm

Encourage the young person to show character by “rejecting the bait” for a fight or by accepting a compromise to end a dispute, rather than responding aggressively.4 Say to student “it takes amazing strength to walk away”.

Teach the young person how to be calm in stressful situations, which may help to diffuse the energy of the conflict. For example, taking deep breaths. Practice at other times too, not just when a conflict arises. Also refer to Stress Management guidelines.

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Smart Ignoring

This involves thinking about who is ‘smart’ to ignore within the school environment. For example, it is important not to ignore the teacher, but it may be useful to ignore another young person who has offended you during class.

Ask for what you want

Encourage the young person to say what they want, not what they don’t want. For example, in a conflict: Say “I would like you to give me some space for 10 mins so that I can…” Rather than “Don’t talk to me!”

Use of ‘I’ statements

Say to the young person “When you experience strong emotions about things that are happening, or you want to let others know about your needs or feelings using ‘I’ statements is a good way to go. The purpose of an ‘I’ statement is to make a clear statement in a way that the other person is most likely to hear without being defensive”

The following is one way of getting a clear ‘I’ statement. Using this guide may feel awkward to begin with and with time ‘I’ statements will come in other forms (probably shorter), but for now, just go with this way of working it out.

o When… neutral description of behaviour/events

o I feel… accurate statement of your feelings

o Because… consequences for you, what happens to you

o And what I’d like is… this is not demanded

Instead of: “You’re always forgetting the things you promised to bring and I’m sick of it because you’ve stopped me getting on with my work again. You’ve got to be more thoughtful!”

Try:

o When… the things I need are not available

o I feel… frustrated

o Because… I can’t finish my work

o And what I’d like is… to get everything from you so I can finish

Discuss how the wording we might each choose can be very different and still be saying the same thing. Discuss that when people are in ‘conflict’, they need to be clear

about what’s happened (peoples actions, consequences, feelings etc.) and work out what they want to be different – this model helps to do this. Encourage people to keep messages short.

Role Play and Role Model

Practise the above strategies with the young person within a safe environment.

This will enhance the young person’s confidence to deal with a conflict non- aggressively.

This can be done through role playing situations to gain direct experience, or by

role modelling strategies for the young person.5

The aim is to give the young person some tools to protect and prepare them

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for real life situations.1

Give Constructive Feedback

Feedback constructive messages regarding positive behaviours or intentions.3

Give approval and encouragement for trying new strategies, even if it does not work first time.

Show delight in the young person’s learning journey.

The Language of Choice9

This type of language can be used by teachers and other school services staff to engage the young person with dignity, de-escalates the behaviour, heighten the young person’s responsibility and reintegrate them back into the lesson or desired task. e.g. “You can choose to work over there by yourself or work cooperatively with the group”

Conflict resolution when two or more parties are present

Separate the parties

Suggest the young people deal with their strong feelings in a safe and independent way before attempting to resolve the conflict.

Direct the young person to a safe person who they can vent to and work through emotions with. This may be a member of school services.

Assure both parties that their concerns will be listened to and there will be an attempt to resolve the issues.

Consider your own safety

Stay calm and request the young person’s cooperation. Remove the person to a safe place where they can ‘cool off’ in an attempt to prevent violent or unacceptable acts of behaviour from occurring.

If at any time you feel threatened, remove yourself from the situation.

Consider if mediation is appropriate

In some conflicts mediation between the parties is necessary. See Appendix Three and ‘Associated Tools and Resources for further information about mediation and restorative justice.

The community health nurse’s role in mediation differs depending on school procedure and level of expertise. If you are uncertain, discuss with your line manager or school administrators.

Documentation

School Health Record CHS 410:

Related professional development

Family Partnerships training: is based upon an explicit framework that integrates the use of core helping skills and qualities with the processes of a goal orientated approach. Participants are encouraged to develop knowledge, skills and confidence in the processes of engaging and relating to clients and supporting them effectively.

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These processes are assumed to involve the developments of a genuine and respectful partnership. This training covers:

o The needs of parents and children

o The parent-professional relationships

o The processes of helping

o The qualities and nature of communication skills needed in the

helper to facilitate these processes

For more information discuss with your line manager or refer to website: www.fpta.org.au

CACH Workforce Development encourages community health nurses working in schools to complete the Gatekeepers Suicide Prevention training. It is recommended that Community health nurses in schools work with school administration and student service teams to develop a proactive suicide risk response plan.

Related internal policies, procedures and guidelines

Promoting mental health and resilience in schools

HEADSS adolescent psychosocial risk assessment

Identifying students with mental health problems

Brief interventions for social and emotional wellbeing

Social skills and relationships

References

1. Davis TK (2005) Beyond the Physical Examination: the Nurse Practitioner’s Role in Adolescent Risk Reduction and Resiliency building in a school-based health centre Nursing Clinics of North America 40 p649-660

2. Cahir S, Freeman L, Gass F, Hill M, Stern F (2001) Conflict Resolution in

Schools Victorian Association for Dispute Resolution Inc: Melbourne

3. Buckland L, Rose J, Greaves C (2005) Making a difference to families: tackling

challenging behaviour Community Practitioner 78(2) p50-55

4. National Youth Violence Prevention Resource Center (2002) Facts for Teens:

Conflict Resolution Accessed on 1st December 2009 from www.safeyouth.org

5. Vera EM, Shin RQ, Montgomery GP, Mildner C, Speight SL (2004) Conflict Resolution Styles, Self Efficacy, Self Control, and the Future Orientation of Urban Adolescents Professional School Counseling 8(1) p73-80

6. James VH, Owens LD (2004) Peer Victimisation and Conflict Resolution Among Adolescent Girls in a Single-sex South Australian School International Education Journal 5(1) p37-49

7. Morrison B (2002) Bullying and Victimisation in Schools: A Restorative Justice

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Approach Australian Institute of Criminology: Trends and Issues in Crime and

Criminal Justice 219 Accessed 6th January 2010 from www.aic.gov.au

8. Cameron L, Thorsborne M (1999) Restorative Justice and School Discipline: Mutually

Exclusive? Accessed 7th

January 2010 from www.thorsborne.com.au/conference_papers/RJandSchool_Discipline.pdf

9. Harrison L (nd) Restorative Justice in the school Setting – a Whole School

Approach Marist Youth Care: Sydney. Accessed 5th January 2010 from http://www.maristyc.com.au/download/journal.pdf

10. Morrison B (2002) Restorative Justice and School Violence: Building Theory and

Practice International Institute for Restorative Practices Accessed 7th January 2010 from http://www.iirp.org/pdf/morrison_bullying.pdf

11. Drewery W, Winslade J (2003) Developing Restorative Practices in Schools: Flavour of

the month or saviour of the system? AARE/NZARE Conference paper. Accessed 7th

January 2010 from http://www.aare.edu.au/03pap/dre03675.pdf

Useful resources

Working with Youth – A resource for community based health workers

http://www.feelingfacescards.com/ School nurses and teachers can use the 42 Feeling

Faces Cards like emotional flash cards to help individuals identify emotions and share

important thoughts about feelings

Community Mental Health Services: there is a comprehensive range of public mental

health services. Mental health care is provided for children, adolescents, adults and older

people. Health Info: 1300 135 030

www.medicareaustralia.gov.au Medicare Better Access Program: GP Mental Health Care

Plan. The young person’s GP will assess their mental health, work out what help is

needed, set goals and choose the treatment that would be best, depending on each

individual situation. Treatment may include seeing a psychiatrist or psychologist, referral to

other services, or medication. Significant Medicare rebates apply for these items.

www.kidsmatter.edu.au/ Aims to improve the mental health and wellbeing of

children, reduce mental health problems amongst children, and achieve greater support for

children experiencing mental health difficulties, and their families. Resources are designed

for implementation in Australian primary schools.

www.mindmatters.edu.au/ A resource and professional development program supporting

Australian secondary schools in promoting and protecting the mental health, and social

and emotional wellbeing of all the members of school communities.

http://www.newharbinger.com/anxiety-workbook-teens The Anxiety Workbook for Teens:

Activities to Help You Deal with Anxiety and Worry. This workbook can show young people

how to deal with the day-to-day challenges of anxiety. It helps develop a positive self-

image and recognize anxious thoughts. The workbook also includes resources for seeking

additional help and support. www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/consumers.cfm Centre

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for Clinical Interventions

– provides useful information for professionals and carers including worksheets, and

suggested exercises or activities.

http://au.reachout.com/ A website for young people to improve understanding of mental

health issues and wellbeing. Also provides information on services, and opportunities to

connect with other young people.

www.mhfa.com.au Mental Health First Aid is the help provided to a person developing a

mental health problem or in a mental health crisis. The first aid is given until appropriate

professional treatment is received or until the crisis resolves. Website provides practical

strategies and information.

www.beyondblue.org.au beyondblue is a national, independent, not-for-profit organisation

working to address issues associated with depression, anxiety and related substance

misuse disorders in Australia. Website has fact sheets, information on referral and

supports.

http://www.sane.org/ SANE Australia is a national charity working for a better life for

people affected by mental illness through campaigns, education and research. SANE

Australia produces a range of publications including factsheets, magazines and DVD’s for

people living with a mental illness, carers, professionals and students.

www.handsonscotland.co.uk The handsonscotland toolkit is a one-stop shop for practical

information and techniques on how to respond helpfully to children and young people's

troubling behaviour, build up their self-esteem and promote their positive mental wellbeing.

www.bevaisbett.com Bev Aisbett has published a range of cartoon books including “Living

with It”. This can assist with understanding the nature of anxiety and may help with

regaining control and starting recovery.

www.Moodgym.anu.edu.au Moodgym is designed especially for young people, it is an

innovative interactive program aimed at preventing and decreasing depressive symptoms.

Moodgym teaches the principles of cognitive behaviour therapy. Offers services such as

anxiety and depression assessments, relaxation and advice to deal with stress and

relationship break-ups.

http://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/Get_Help Lifeline’s section called ‘Get Help” is a

national mental health information and referral service, and is an easy and accessible way

for people to find resources and tools to help with a wide range of mental health issues.

www.headroom.net.au This site is dedicated to positive mental health of children,

adolescents and the adults in their lives.

http://www.health.wa.gov.au/mentalhealth/publications/head2head.cfm Head2Head

magazine is published three times a year and provides an avenue for WA mental health

information to all sectors of the community. The magazine is available free of charge.

Developing Restorative Practices in Schools: Flavour of the month or saviour of the

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system? http://publications.aare.edu.au/03pap/dre03675.pdf

Help/Information Lines

Mental Health Emergency Response Line (24hr) 1300 555 788

Association of Relatives and Friends of the Mentally ill (ARAFMI):WA (08) 9427 7100

beyondblue info line (National) - 1300 22 4636

Lifeline (National) - 13 11 14

SANE Australia Helpline (National) - 1800 187 263

Mensline Australia (National) - 1300 789 978

Australian Psychological Society Referral Line (National) 1800 333 497

Mental Health Information Service (NSW) - 1300 794 991

Kids Helpline (National) - 1800 551 800.

Appendix One: Conflict resolution styles

Style Information

Overt Anger The associated power assertion often aggravates conflicts and tends to destroy relationships. E.g. Get angry, yell, walk away, hurt other person’s feelings, sarcasm, make the other person feel bad, get angrier with more discussion, angry for long time.

Compromise Resolving conflicts using compromise facilitates the sharing of power needed to preserve relationship interconnectedness. E.g. Try to reason, listen and understand, try to work out a compromise.

Avoidance May serve partly to meet other people’s needs. Can be seen as constructive. Use when maintaining harmonious relationships can be important. E.g. “Bottle up” feelings, walk away and discuss later, be cool/ distant, avoid discussion.

Social Support May serve partly to meet other people’s needs. Can be seen as constructive. Use when maintaining harmonious relationships can be important. E.g. Talk to sibling, parent or teacher; try to bring in a friend or someone else to help.

Obliging May serve partly to meet other people’s needs. Can be seen as constructive. Use when maintaining harmonious relationships can be important. E.g. Put other persons needs first, apologise, give in to what other person wants

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Distraction May serve partly to meet other people’s needs. Can be seen as constructive. Use when maintaining harmonious relationships can be important. E.g. Try to be funny and make light of issue, say it’s not important, distract through entertainment or relaxation

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Appendix Two: Reflective Questioning

AWARENESS ANALYSIS ALTERNATIVES ACTION

To promote awareness To make comparisons To consider options To make a plan

What do you know about…?

How are you currently doing?

What have you tried? How did that work for you?

How do you feel…?

What supports were most helpful?

How does that compare with what you did before? How does that fit in with what your goals are?

How did you know you needed to change your plan? What do you think will happen if you…?

How could you find out about…? What else could you have done to…?

What would it take for you to be able to…? What might make it work better next time? What other opportunities would be useful?

How are you going to put that into place? What do you plan to do? What supports will you need?

What will you do differently next time? Where will you get the help you need? What option will get the best result?

**Please note: these questions are a guide only and should be presented in a way which is understood by the young person.

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Appendix Three: Restorative Justice and Mediation Restorative justice is based on the premise that positive relationships are fundamental to

individual and social wellbeing as well as the health of the school community.8

The goal,

therefore, is to heal relationships damaged by the behaviour. Restorative justice seeks to make

it clear to the offender that their behaviour is not condoned, holding them accountable for their

actions, while at the same time being supportive and respectful of the individual.7,10

Restorative

justice is based on a set of underlying principles:

1. Focus on the relationship and how people are affected

2. Restore damaged relationships

Healing processes are needed to restore the relationships. Both parties need to be involved

so that the relationship can be resolved.9

3. Talk about the behaviour without blaming or being personal

It is made absolutely clear that the behaviour is inappropriate and has affected others but

this conversation is respectful and engaging.9

4. See mistakes and misbehaviour as an opportunity for learning

5. Accept that sometimes we cannot get to the ultimate truth

Often fault is unclear and people can agree to accept the ambiguous situation. It is best to

accept this and focus on who was affected.9

6. Be future focussed and talk about how to make things right

The parties themselves determine what should happen to make amends.11

Move from

talking about the “problem” that has happened in the past and acknowledge that change

needs takes place in the future. Plan how to manage any setbacks, while focusing on

improvement.9

Restorative Mediation9

Before the meeting each person is talked to individually to establish the issue, purpose of

meeting, and reflect on a realistic and desirable outcome.

Stage Key Words

1. Allow each person to talk about the incident

“Let’s talk about what happened. It’s important for me to understand”

2. Paraphrase feelings and content; accept some degree of ambiguity due to different perceptions

“We don’t need to agree on every detail because we need to focus on how people have been affected”

3. Establish effect on each person “How were you or others affected?”

4. Paraphrase each person’s feelings and content

“Try to say what you heard each other say”

5. Move towards making things “right”

“What needs to happen to make things right?”

6. Future Problem Solve and write down ideas

“If the same situation happened again, how could it be dealt with?”

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with a disability.

File Path:

Document Owner: Senior Portfolio Policy Officer

Reviewer / Team: School-aged Health Reference Group

Date First Issued: Jul-10 Version:

Last Reviewed: Sep-13 Review Date: 1/08/2016

Approved by: School-aged Health Reference Group Date:

Endorsed by: Executive Director CACH, Pop Health Director WACHS Date:

Standards Applicable: NSQHS Standards: 1.7, 1.18

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