Steps To Finding Your Intended Love Mate Tahirah OlufemiCopyright © 2012 by Tahirah Olufemi

Other Titles By Tahirah Olufemi:

Get Your Ex Back: The Guide To Re-kindling Your RelationshipLoverscopes: Love & Sex Astrology For WomenMeeting Again: Reincarnation & Soul Mate ConnectionsEgyptian Charms, Postions & Love Spells

Step 1: Where are you right now?I believe that in order to create and experience anextraordinary, tremendous and fulfilling relationship, you must firstwork onbeing the ONE before you can find with the ONE.Creating the relationship that will transform your life may not just‘happen’- butinside of you, right in this very moment, you do have the power to find,create,and reconnect with the love of a lifetime. First of all, you have toovercome yourfears, have loads of self-awareness around who you are at your core, andmasterthe skills and disciplines that will transform your existing relationships,yourfuture relationships, and your entire life...When I work my individual clients, the first step we take is to assessexactlywhere they are right in that moment in relation to the change they areseeking tomake, or the dream they want to fulfill. By doing this, it helps my clientsunderstand where they are now, versus where they want to be within intheir lives.The difference between where they are right now- as opposed to wherethey wantto be- is the gap in between. It’s really important for my clients tounderstand that

gap- so that we can get a hold of the reality of the situation and puttogether a planof action, bring in resources and work together to bridge that gap.So, where are you right now?1. Amazing Love - An awesome, inspiring relationshipwith both love and passionThis is the place every couple wants to be in! There is loads ofconnection, fun,spontaneity, passion in your relationship. There is an amazing level oftrust andfulfillment- and it really seems as though all your emotional, spiritualand physicalneeds are being met. You feel like you never want this relationship toend!2. Deep Love - A relationship with love and connection,but may be lacking in passionYou have a deep love within this relationship, and others may think thatyourrelationship is comfortable, sturdy and solid. Although you have a deepconnection and love with your partner, you may feel as thoughsomething ismissing or want to regain the passion that you once had. Perhaps therehas onlybeen love present and no passion since you met?3. Neither here nor there - A relationship with not muchlove, not much passionYou may be living with your partner, and may have been involved for along timetogether. There also may be children involved, and despite feelingcomfortabletogether - there may be little love and emotional connection isnonexistent. Youmay have already found a way to meet your needs elsewhere, or outsideof the relationship through work, hobbies or found solace in otherpeople.You may find that there are times when your partner’s habits annoying,and there may be friction present in the relationship the way that itcurrently is.You may push these inner feelings away, and tell yourself that this islife, that you don’t dislike your partner enough to leave- and aren’t

exactly overjoyed at the thought of living like this forever either. Thisposition is a sign that there is a loss of connection and that therelationship will continue to deteriorate unless you takeactions to turn it around. Think of the cycle of life and what you may becontributing to in the future for your kids.5. Single - but looking! - You are not in arelationship currently but would like to be in one.Maybe you have never been in a committed relationship, or have had apartner leave you, or you have escaped from an ugly situation. You mayhave been single for a while- stressing that you will repeat similarpatterns to your past situation. Although it may be fearful to be in thisposition- this can also be a great place to start fresh! Read through this EBook and identify what type of relationship you would LOVE to be in,what you want and clarify what you can do to get there. Bemindful and open to working on yourself before getting into anotherrelationship and be careful that you don’t take on limiting or destructivebeliefs for your future relationships.6. Single and NOT looking! - You are not in a relationshipand not interested to be in one.You are really safe and private; being in this place is perfect for avoiding thepotential hurt that can come from being in a relationship. Hurt also brews fear of asimilar situation occurring. By staying in this place- do you realize that you aremissing out on the greatest connection that we can experience in our lifetime?Can you imagine the magnitude and effect of what you are missing out onemotionally and spiritually by shutting yourself off to love? Give yourself achance to read through this E Book, and open yourself up to the possibility offiltering in an amazing, loving relationship for yourself.Take a moment for reflection and work through the following questionstakingaction on your learnings will help the information sink in yourunconscious layers._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Bringing a Life-long Love into manifestation can be nearly as effortless if you firsthave a clear vision of what she will be like. Clarity is Power. The cleareryou are on exactly what you want, the more your brain and unconscious willknow how to search for it.Remember to be specific and focus on aspects that you desire to feel in thisrelationship. Breathe into these feelings while visualizing your new life with yoursoul mate. If you are having difficulty visualizing this on your own- enquire aboutour Manifestation Audio that can guide you through this.Next, begin to list the qualities of the personality that most appeals to you.Finally, and most importantly, add to this list descriptions of how you will feel inthis relationship.Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine how you feel as you are walking

through life with this special person.Do you feel love, cherished and adored?Do you feel connected, trusting, joyful and serene?If you are already in a Relationship- this can still apply to you aswell - you can focus on what you need to do to manifest adeeper love,an unconditional love with no boundaries.Consider what you personally would love more of in yourrelationship, better communication?More intimacy?Spending more time together?©By simply shifting your focus on what you can do to bring those aspects into yourexisting relationship- you are unconsciously creating ripples for change. If youaim to give more of that which you are seeking- your partner unconsciously willhave no choice but to reciprocate that kindness and that trust, that communication.Become the catalyst for the change you are seeking..And then- when you are ready- release and surrender this into the Universe__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Do you feel love, cherished and adored?Do you feel connected, trusting, joyful and serene?Step 2: Surrender, Relax And Let Go!Take a moment to think about a past relationship where you really, really hopedthat they were the "one." You may have to dig deep into your past to do this.

Ok,once you can get past the visuals, story and details of what happened, and yourmemories of that old flame; I'll bet you are now happy that your wishes for him orher to ‘be the one’ didn't come true. Sometimes we have to let go of what wethink we want or need- in order to let the divine timing of the Universe work inour favor. Let’s face it; we can’t control anything in life except our ownthoughts, feelings and emotions. Although I do admit, sometimes it would be niceto be able to!Sure, planning is the responsible thing to do and yes it is up to you to get shakingand moving in the direction of your dreams. So put in all the effort, make theplans that you feel necessary, and take the steps that you require- and the smartthing is to then let go of your attachment to the outcome.I have found that the key to surrendering and letting go - is to trust that I can beclear about everything I want (love, happiness, fulfillment) without having to beobsessive about it. Whether you are in a relationship already or searching for thateverlasting love.. often we need to Let go of your need to be the boss of theUniverse, let go of your past relationships, and live in gratitude for the love andhappiness that you have in your life right now, trusting that so much more is onthe way!In order to attract your dream partner- your Love Affair- you must create positivespace in your life. This also works for people currently in a relationship- thatcan’t seem to fully commit to the relationship- or where there is uncertaintypresent. It is now time to clear out the old relationships, and cut the ties fromyour past. When two people become really close, in tune, and share in life, loveand energy it will be the case that we have a ‘cord’ of energy and attachment tothem. This even occurs in our friendships or with family!

There are different types of situations we face in life that are difficult. Endingrelationships ranks pretty high up in the "tough stuff" category. It doesn't matter ifyou were the person who walked away or if someone else left you, a loss is felteither way. It is especially painful if a relationship ends without closure. Do youever find yourself dreaming about that ex partner? Or understanding that eventhough the relationship has ended, you still find yourself daydreaming or thinkingabout them from time to time? Unfortunately, there are times when peopleseparate and what they don't realize is that they may very well still have a cordattached. The intact cord is a spiritual, energetic channel for continuous feedingon each other’s old emotions and anxieties. This may still be happening even ifyou separated years ago, or no longer have contact with each other, and havemoved onto another relationship!Visualize a foot or walking bridge over a small stream in your mind.Imagine yourself standing on the far end of this bridge. Now imagine that theperson you want to cut the tie with is standing on the opposite end of the bridge.When you feel ready to energetically connect with the other person begin walkingslowly to the middle of the bridge. Allow the other person to walk toward you,meeting you half way.Once you are in eye contact with one another you may begin communicatingthrough inner dialogue. You can imagine a cord between you that is linking youboth- and now is the opportunity to cut that tie.Before cutting the cord- however- it would be a great idea to tell the person whatyour feelings are. This is not a time to be angry or be holding onto grudges - youare just releasing the energetic tie.

Tell the person that you are sorry for all of thethings you said or did that hurt him/her. Tell him/her that you are forgivinghim/her for all the hurtful things that were said or done in your relationship. Giveyourself a moment to say your good-byes, wishing each other well in yourseparateness. Now you are free to visualize yourself turning around and walk offthe bridge.Step 3: Changing Limiting Thought PatternsEveryone has experienced ‘standout moments’ in their lives. Moments that shapewho we are and the choices we make. These moments can be fabulous momentsthat we treasure and may have been a source of joy throughout our lives.Alternatively these moments can be painful moments we have tried hard to forget,escape from or minimize.It is really important to understand that it is not the ‘standout moments’ whichmatters. The moment has passed.It is our interpretation of the events of the defining moment that shapes our futureand who we are today. We tell ourselves something in that moment- about whatthat defining moment means. We give ourselves an interpretation of the evenbased on our experience or beliefs. A belief is a feeling of certainty about what athing means.We develop beliefs to support our initial interpretation of the event and then webuild a lifetime of searching for evidence to confirm the belief. Our reality ismade up only of what we believe, perceive, experience, see hear or feel. Ourminds will hunt out proof of whatever it is we want to believe.So- we may have really positive beliefs that we carry with us all our lives- or infact they could be limiting beliefs.Narrow beliefs that we may have about love may be ‘I’m not good enough for aloving partner’ or ‘Love in the movies does not exist- that’s not real life love’ or

‘you can’t trust women’Have a think about your own beliefs about yourself, who you are, who you standfor in this life. Reflect on your beliefs about love.Take a deep breath in and sit quietly for a moment... With your hand on yourheart- reflect back on your memories as a child and see if there are any memoriesassociated with your feelings around love, getting close to someone or intimacy..Trust that you unconscious will bring forth the memories associated with the firsttime you made that belief and ask yourself these questions..©Q. How old were you?___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Q. What happened, who was there, what was said__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________©20102010Q. What did you tell yourself in that moment?________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________©20102010Q. What beliefs have you carried forward since that one definingmoment?_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Q. What would you have really wanted to happen in that moment?______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Q. What is the price you have paid and are still paying for keeping thosebeliefs?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Q. What price will you pay in one year’s time if you keep these beliefs?In five years? In ten years?______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Now I want you to visualize yourself as a young child about the same age as youwere when your ‘standout moment’ appeared. Now sit next to that young girl/boywho gave those old meanings to that situation. With what you know now, whatwould you tell that child about what meaning to give the situation?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________With what you know now, what would better serve you knowing what you knownow OR those old meanings? (this will change the way you interpret your

beliefsmoving forward)__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Q. What new meanings would you ask that child to form around thatsituation to take with them for the rest of their lives?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Q. Have a think about what beliefs will serve, support, nurture andchallenge you as you live out the rest of your life?©2010_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Q. What will it cost you to keep the old, limiting beliefs and way oflooking at life if you don’t create the change?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Q. What do you stand to gain by adopting these new beliefs? (In termsof how you feel about yourself)Others?____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Q. What do you stand to gain by adopting these new beliefs? (In termsof how you feel about yourself)____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Others?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________©Your life?_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________©2010Your career?__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Your relationships?______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________2010Step 4: Place No Conditions On Love...One of the best things about sharing your life- with the love of your life, is havinga life filled with unconditional love. Unconditional Love is a real, burning truelove- a love without conditions. It is freely given with no expectation at all. It isunconditional- all of the time.One of the greatest threats to a relationship is when one or both partners start towithdraw from the other. Anytime you withdraw emotionally from your partner therelationship has no choice but to deteriorate. Perhaps you start fulfilling yourneeds and interests outside of the relationship (keeping busy with work, friends,kids) and achieving your significance in life through other vehicles of

meaning orsatisfaction.I hear so many people talk about only giving love when they receivelove- or rewarding love only when their partner is doing things they way wantdone, on their terms. Did you ever fear your love to be taken away when you werea child? Or were you ever threatened with the prospect of a partner leaving after anargument- orwithdrawing love from you during a rough time? When you lose trust. interest andcommitment together- you drift closer to behaviors of criticism, judgement andrejection.Trust takes place when both partners are committed to having a positive directionand intent towards each other. When you use threats or judgement, you willdamage the bond and undermine those feelings of intent.Soul mates are often each other's best friend and as such the relationship becomesa "place to come home to’ when life becomes difficult or stressful or scary. This"place to come home to" is both a physical place in your home, as well as anemotional space in the relationship just like a sacred sanctity. It is about making acommitment to your lover – to hold yourself open and present for our lover- toconnect with your lover- even during the most horrible times of pain. Open yourheart to your lover- let your presence, playfulness and passion bring spice to yourlives together!While you are in the process of reinventing your Love Affair, create a physicalspace in your home right now that is your emotional ‘place to come home to’. Itcan be as simple as your favourite chair in the bedroom, relaxing in your bathtubor a new loveseat under a tree in your backyard. Use this space on a daily

basis tofocus your attention on your intention for attracting your ‘Love Affair’ to you. Inregards to your bedroom- remove computers, exercise equipment, and other itemsthat distract you from the room’s purpose: Rest, Rejuvenation, and Romance.If it’s impossible to remove these distractions, screen or cover them between uses.If you must have a television in the bedroom, make sure to store it in a coveredcabinet or armoire to assure a restful romantic atmosphere. Make your bedroomyour private love destination- and imagine sharing it or reconnecting with ‘theone’.On the emotional side, have a think about whether you are ready to create thisspace for your Love affair to happen right now. Remember, the process ofmanifesting a soul mate is one of making space for him on all levels of your beingand in all areas of your life.If you are already in a relationship and are ready to take it to the next level- thinkabout where your physical space is that you both feel most comfortable in tospend quality time together- with no distractions. Focus on how you can devoteyourself to your partner within that space- and create the atmosphere for intimatemoments.©Step 5: Harnessing the Powerof Masculine and Feminine EnergyI really love the saying- Opposites attract. Because we really are attracted toour opposite. In science, the attraction of opposites is called polarity. In humanrelationships,many types of polarity also exist and we are attracted to those things in peoplewhich are different to what we find in ourselves; they stimulate emotions

andsensations that are different from the way we stimulate ourselves.In romantic intimacy, polarity refers to the play between opposite energies- themasculine andthe feminine. The Yin and the Yang. They are responsible for sexual attractionand passion. Often, when we start to lose our spark in a relationship sexually orintimately- itmay be because the masculine and feminine dynamic are all muddled up.Unconsciously we know this, and may feel put off, or have no desire to put in theeffort into lovemaking or intimacy anymore. Consciously though, it may be adifferent story. We may tell ourselves that we are too busy, too old, too tired, toofat, etc for romance.. We may try to cut ourselves off of our natural instincts,feelings and desires. We cut ourselves off of our own authenticity.Recall the time that you first met your partner and there was lots of attractionpresent. You would have loved the differences between your energies then whereasperhaps now where they may be times of stress or upset- thosedifferences may be strongest.Understanding this polarity will really help you strengthen your relationship,rekindle that love and trust within the relationship and ignite your passion for eachother as well.Ladies- sometimes your partner really just wants to step up and help - but we areso damn good at multi- tasking, organization and juggling that she doesn’t feel likeshe has the room to step in. Or when she does, it isn’t done as properly, or it takestoo long, etc etc. Therefore causing her to retreat (but she wants to be needed byyou truly!)Then as women we get resentful and tired, and overwhelmed because we arecarrying THE WHOLE WORLD on our shoulders ... and the last thing you

wantto do is make love at the end of all that ... Hmm ... Does any of this resonate withyou?Creating awareness for yourself into reconnecting with the feminine essence isreally about celebrating all the special things about being a woman!Ask yourself.. as a woman- how can I reconnect with my feminine side?How can I remain open to exploring new things?How can I celebrate showing my emotions and feelings?How can I give and receive love?How can I focus on my relationships?The feminine essence is fun & playful, vulnerable, enchanting, caring, soft andcalm. The feminine essence requires others attention (all the time!) and reallywants to be understood, wants to be loved and adored, and is focused onconnection and nurturing. As a woman you will know that this is when you areworking from your most natural state- and you will be most happiest when youstep into the energy that is who you are!If you are a masculine identified lesbian - then embrace your“FEMALE OWNED ” Masculine energy! Stand strong and give your partner yourdevotion and commitment, no matter what they say or do. (And as a woman- I canassure you that there will be lots of stuff that we will say to you to TEST you, andtest that you will still be there for us when we really need you!)Use the strengths of purpose, protection and commitment to intensify your energy.Ask yourself.. as a butch (or masculine identified woman) - how can I display mytraits to her so that it helps open my woman up?How can I demonstrate and communicate my need to protect her?How can I create new opportunities?How can I take actions that will empower my family?The masculine essence it all about being assertive, taking actions, being active,

physical strength, aggressive in nature, outgoing, a need to create, a need to hunt,a need to protect. It is about structure and is often more logical rather thanemotional. The masculine energy is about intention and focus, requires freedom,space, and loves to feel appreciated. As opposed to the focus on connection themasculine essence is about life direction, purpose and independence.As a man you will also feel this is when you are at your most natural state.So now we need to look at two parts - firstly how to balance ourselvesindividually and how to balance ourselves in our relationships. As an individualwe need to really look into what our natural essence is and see where we need tobalance ourselves more within the relationships we have. As women, if we have acareer in a corporate company and leadership and you often need to step into themasculine energy to get your job done on a daily basis- how can you thenconsciously shift back into a more feminine energy when at home?Or perhaps we are too much in our feminine energy during the day if we are homewith the kids, and we require a little less emotion or taking more action withdirection of an evening. Learn to balance out the energy to really ignite thatdynamic between the two of you in your relationship.If you can reconnect with your natural polarity with your partner- and really stepinto your masculine or feminine, you can enjoy your magnetic attraction andconnection that you once had at the beginning of your relationship. The greatnews is that it is not about your weight, age, or physical looks that create passionbetween 2 individuals.It is about the dancing energyof masculine and feminineand really stepping into your true essence.Passion is not something that naturallyfades away when ‘honeymoon’ period is over.Who says that it ever has to end a few monthsinto the relationship after the fun,initial getting to know you stages?

Why limit yourself and your relationshipto fit in with other’s expectations?If you are two balanced individuals within a relationship then perhaps eachindividual will begin to feel complete within themselves and trust in therelationship. In looking at our natural states we can also begin to notice what wetruly require in ourselves and from our partners- and what we need to give to ourpartners as well. We can begin to restore a natural state of order and begin to liveour lives through our true essence. We begin to feel balanced, whole and trulybegin to experience bliss within the relationship- and the roles we have developedwithin it.Step 6: Strategies Of LoveI believe that the breakdown of relationships is really due to three things -unfulfilled love strategies, negative anchoring and lack of effectivecommunication. Yes, sure - it’s like you have woken up all of a sudden to yourlife and can find yourself ‘out of love’ with someone, and just don’t know how itgot to be this way... but we all have strategies for everything we do in life.. andour relationships break down when our strategies do.A strategy is a specific sequence of external and internal experience whichconsistently produces a specific outcome; for example we have strategies for love,sex, attraction and recognizing attraction. My relationship coaching identifiesthose key strategies including the attraction, recognizing attraction and deep lovestrategy.When these are shared between the couple, each individual will then know whatthey need to do for their partner to know they are totally loved ... Hmm- I hearyou ask- what does this all mean for me?Let me break it down for you. I see so many clients who tell me that they know

that their partners love them but they don't feel loved. I mean, logically they canunderstand that they have been with their partner for years, share children and alife together.. but what we are talking about feeling really loved on a deep level.Different people have different ways of expressing love but your way of showinglove may not match your partner's. You both think that you are showing howmuch you care but you both still feel that something is missing. You can improveyour relationship through understanding your significant other's love strategy.We all have different ways of feeling loved. For some, it can be hearing thosespecial words in that certain tone of voice. Or you may like to be touched in acertain way (no- I’m not talking sexual, it may be a back rub or stroke of the hair)Or you may like to be given gifts. Or spend time together or have little thingsdone for you.Maybe the fact is you have had a partner in the past that you remember feelingreally loved deep sense of passion and you were both just on fire when you weretogether. Chances are yes- there was probably deep feelings for each other but italso could have been so intense because you both shared the same love strategy! Ifyou arelucky enough to find a partner with your own love strategy- they will beexpressing love in the exact same way that you wish to receive it. That’s great forthose other couples I hear you say- but what happens when theyears get on in a relationship where you and your partner do not share the samestrategy for love?!When we first fall in love, we tend to do all those things in communicating your

love strategy – think about when you first met your partner... we tell our belovedthat we love them, we whisper sweet nothings in their ear, praise them, adorethem, get excited by them, touch and caress them, spend intimate evenings talkingand dreaming. We might be walking past a shop and see something we know theywill like- or we listen out for hints to things they like so we can purchase it forthem as a surprise. Bottom line is that we pay attention to them and fulfill all thelove strategies so that they know you are keen on them- and that you are falling inlove!As time passes, we each drift back to doing what we know makes us feel loved.And that’s when the problems start. If hearing the words, ‘I love you’ makes youfeel warm and tingly then that is how you will demonstrate your love for yourpartner. If, however, your partner feels loved when they are given somethingspecial, then your words will just feel like words to them of you don’t show themlove the way they need to experience it.Some of us know what makes us feel loved. If you don’t, start to become moreaware of your feelings – what gives you that warm glow??Ask yourself how do you show love to others??What do you ask for most often within your relationship or secretlyhope your partner would do for you??What do you feel you are missing in your relationship??What do you complain most about in your relationship?The answers to these questions can help you to identify your own strategies. Askyour partner what makes them feel special and loved.There are five main ways of feeling loved:1. Words of Affirmation – complimenting your partner, saying how goodthey look or telling them you love them.2. Quality Time – spending time together, doing things together.3. Gifts – these don’t have to be expensive. Often a small gift or card or love

note is enough to convey your love.4. Acts of Service – doing things for the other person. This could besomething small like stacking the dishwasher or vacuuming the car or itcould be something more creative. Whatever it is, you need to do it from asense of love and not obligation.5. Physical touch – stroking a hand, a back-rub or a hug will show your love.So, to keep the spark in your relationship (or perhaps rekindle it!), find out yourpartner’s love strategy and practice acting in that way towards them. Encouragethem to do the same for you and notice the difference in your relationship.Step 7: Make The ChoiceMake the decision right now. Decide that you are ready, willing andavailable for your Life Long Love.Know that your ‘one’ is coming and you will be ready to love at thatlevel when it arrives.Find a perfect way for you to get to meet and know other like-mindedsingles that are looking for the same things in life as you.Allow yourself to really "feel" what it feels like to be deeply loved and connected.Meditate on it. Curl up at night in bed for a few moments and notice the feelingsof what it will be like to have your Love Affair. What will it look like, smell like,and feel like? What will you be telling yourself? Remember the unconscious minddoesn’t recognize the difference between what you have experienced and what iscompletely made up, that is what the Law of Attraction is based on!Use a Guided Meditation to help you aim at specifically helping you conjure upthose feelings around what it feels like to be in love. Really feel it, let yourselfspend time with yourself ‘making up your dreams’.Know that your ‘ONE’ is coming and you will be ready to love at thatlevel when it arrives.Believe it. Dream it up, BIG. A Life Long Love!Know with every part of your being that the one that you are longing for is on theway to you right now. Be open to meeting and dating. Take the first steps

andbegin preparing your new life to include your new love in it! When you havecleared the clutter from your heart and mind, get over your reservations aboutbeing in the wrong relationship or being single..Find a perfect way for you to get to meet and know other like-mindedsingles that are looking for the same things in life as you.If you don’t feel ready for that (yet!) give us a call at Life by Creation for someone of one relationship coaching or couples coaching to help you release the lifeand relationship you have known for the one you are consciously committed tocreating. Reclaim who you really are so that you enter into this relationship withauthentic love.Open yourself up to love!We only get one life! And (god forbid) if it is cut short or threatenedunexpectedly- I can tell you that won’t be stressing about things like thehousework or that pile of work that is sitting on your desk.What you’ll be thinking and reflecting on are the connections you made in yourlife, the depths of your heart from which you loved and the peace in your soul atthe love you shared.0 Life By Creation. All Rights Reserved 26©