grief to grace - rachel's vineyard c02 supply... · web view1) “chanticleer” by giovanni...

Retreat Supplies

Check-in Station Setup

Materials:__ Master list for room assignments__ Welcome Info Packets to include:

__ Name tag with name printed in large letters ( plastic covers)__ Welcome letter__ Retreat Schedule__ Retreat Journal__ Pen__ Prayer cards or notes of encouragement__ Info about retreat facility, house rules, kitchen hours, smoking, etc.__ Room keys

Greeters

Greeters at the entrance door will be: ______________________________ ______________________________

__________________ __________________

Helpers taking people to their rooms and assisting with luggage:

_______________________ _______________________

_______________________ _______________________

If you are not serving dinner, helpers of ice breaker while participants are arriving:

_______________________ _______________________

_______________________ _______________________

© 1999 Copyright. All rights reserved 1

Hospitality Station Setup

Supplies:__ Ice &ice bucket or cooler__ Cups__ Soda and juices__ Snacks ( crackers, cheese, nuts, fruit, muffins, cookies)__ Chocolate ( Hershey kisses, etc.)__ Mints__ Coffee maker ( coffee, cream, sugar, stir straws )__ Tea__ Tissues__ Aspirin, ibuprofen, Tylenol__ Napkins

Retreat Rooms Setup

__ One bottle of Holy Water to bless rooms__ Bibles__ Flowers

Adoration Chapel Setup

Supplies:__ Monstrance__ Extension cord__ Extra bulb

Gathering Room Setup

Materials Checklist and Room Set-Up__ Assignment Sheet – (see Appendix)__ Comfortable chairs gathered in a tight circle__ Low coffee table in center of circle with white cloth to cover table__ Christ Candle on table or on pedestal next to table__ Matches / lighter__ Large Bible (to be placed on center table - the Word of God)


__ Crucifix or cross on table__ Ipod, CD or cassette player and sound system

(This must be one with excellent sound and good volume)__ Small flashlight for each reader__ Extra Batteries for flashlights__ Boxes of tissues placed between every other chair__ Rachel’s Vineyard Manuals for each team member__ TV and VHS/DVD player set-up in corner of the room__ Lamps with soft lighting__ (Optional) Prayer shawls or blankets on each chair__ (Optional) Confidentiality Cue Card – (see Appendix)

Day One Retreat Exercises

Welcome and Introductions

Materials:__ Optional ice-breaker

The Woman Caught in Adultery

Materials Checklist:__ Meditative Music

Instrumental Music for Prayer and Meditation by “You are the Presence” album

Song: “Holy Darkness” followed by “You are the Presence.”__ Large rocks enough for all participants (the size of one or two fists)__ A large rock to pass around circle__ “Stoning Ritual” cue card ( see Appendix )__ Darken the room – Do not light the Christ Candle __ (optional) one small crucifix for each participant to exchange for rock later on

in the retreat


The Blind Man

Materials Checklist:__ A small taper or “vigil” candle for each person in the room with drip guard__ Flashlights for readers__ “Blind Man” dialogue cue cards: (see Appendix)

Helper: “(Name,) Take courage, he is calling youParticipant: “Jesus, Son of David, have pity on me”Priest:“What do you want me to do for you?

__ Meditative music – (see Appendix for music suggestions.)__ Optional: End of Living Scripture Meditation Song “My Child, My Chosen”

or “In the Light” or “Let the Healing Begin” by Michael John Poirier


Play meditative music to enhance this exercise

Music suggestion: 1) “Holy Darkness” followed by “You are the Presence” by Instrumental Music for Prayer and Meditation, “You are the Presence” album 2) “Scribbling in the Sand” by Michael Cant (after meditation)3) “Ocean of Mercy” by Michael John Poirier (after meditation)

Have enough large rocks available for each participant - arrange rocks on or around the table

Darken the room during Living Scripture and Scripture ExperienceHave small flashlights available for reading

(Optional) One small crucifix for each person. When they give up the rocks later in the retreat, you can invite them to replace the rock for a cross.

Movie Presentation

Materials Checklist:__ Large screen television.__ DVD player or VHS player__ Video Options:

__“Harvest of Hope” (available in DVD only)__“Dear Children” (available in DVD or VHS)__“Beyond Regret” (available in DVD or VHS)

__ Handouts: __‘Beloved’ (see Appendix) __‘Gospel of Life Paragraph 99’ (see Appendix)


Setting the Stage: Play meditative music to enhance this exercise

Music suggestion: “Let the Healing Begin” or “My Child, My Chosen” or “In the Light” by Michael John Poirier (after meditation)

Place all the candles underneath the white cloth on the table so they are hiddenMake the room completely darkStart the exercise by lighting the Christ Candle

Have small flashlights available for reading

3 “dialogue” cue cards: Assign Parts: 1 priest and 2 helpers – Use cue cards to prompt dialogue. Use cue cards to help participants.

Assign several helpers to light the small taper candles from the large “Light of Christ” candle and be ready to pass them out after each person has responded.

Recommend team participation in this exercise

Cup of Bitterness

Materials Checklist:__ A small (one quart) glass pitcher__ A large glass goblet__ A bottle of red grape juice __ small plastic cups (ordering info below)__ platter to carry cups on__ A standing crucifix, approx 12” tall, to be placed on table.__ Optional placemat to protect white tablecloth ( example shown)

Blessing for Healing


-Darken the room during the video

-While program is playing, have team members distribute handouts on the beds of each participant or outside their door. The hand-outs given on Friday night are

1) The “Gospel of Life” – Pope’s words to women who have had abortions2) “Beloved” letter from Jesus

Both can be copied onto pretty paper from the Appendix.

Soft instrumental music (Chant or somber music can be played quietly during the beginning of the exercise). Song Suggestions while cup is being passed Dan Schutte’s “How Long O Lord?” or John Michael Talbot’s “Healer of My Soul” from God of Life album. “Lead Us to the River of Mercy” by Michael John Poirier“Healing” by John Michael Talbot or “Holy Darkness” by Dan ShutteSuggestion: Measure the juice into the cup then pour into the pitcher to prevent overfilling the cupSmall red plastic cups can be ordered at: http://www.kegworks.com/product.php?productid=174412&source=base

Use “Blessing”/ “Prayer” cue cards to avoid necessity of carrying manual, or need for “Blesser” to be prompted.

http://www.kegworks.com/product.php?productid=174412&source=base

Day 2 Retreat Exercises

Morning Prayer

Materials Checklist:__ Sample Morning Prayer ( see Appendix )__ Optional Liturgy of the Hours from Magnificat

Group Sharing: The Story of Your Life

Materials Checklist: __ Boxes of tissues__ Comfortable chairs in circle as small as possible__ Retreat Journal: Questions for Reflection (Copy in the Appendix)

The Story of Lazarus

Materials Checklist:__ Gregorian Chant or other sacred hymns in Latin Suggested Music: Canticles of Ecstasy (music of Hildegard von Bingen) sung by Sequentia (women’s ensemble for medieval music), 1994 BMG Music (Classics). Both running time and sound (echoing Martha-Mary mourning prayers) are ideal!__ A basket filled with rolls of gauze or strips of cloth or ace bandages__ Cinnamon sticks and dried rose petals in and around basket__ Vial of scented oil__ 2 cue cards for priest (see Appendix)__ 3 cue cards for team members, one optional (see Appendix)__ Optional 5-part scripted version of “Scripture Reading” (see Appendix)__ Optional: White sheet or cheap white fabric (approx 66” x 96”) for each

participant__ Optional: incense



It is very important for the priest, facilitator and helpers to understand and rehearse their roles for this exercise to be effective.

Play music to enhance this exercise. An appropriately somber mood can be created with Gregorian Chant or other sacred hymns in Latin.

Try to make the room as dark as possible.

Use cue cards for priest and helpers for ease of movement among participants during the binding, blessing and raising rituals.

Make sure all participants are comfortable.

The bandages represent the binding of Lazarus. Cinnamon sticks and rose petals in the basket represent the ancient incense and precious spices used to fumigate the scent of death.

Have available unscented gauze bandages in a separate basket for use on the eyes or mouth.

Optional: Have 2 basket of bindings available: 1 scented and 1 unscented (for those with allergies) To scent bindings: Place bindings in a plastic bag, put scented oil on a paper towel

If you can obtain some church incense, this will also help bring this Scripture scene to life.

Refer to intake form if participant is allergic to incense.

Optional: One single white sheet for each participant. (Sheets are already prepared on the chairs when participants enter.) Cover each chair with a sheet. Please do not use the floor.

Optional: Use the 5 part scripted version of the “Scripture Reading” in the Appendix. Print on stock paper on both sides. Each participating team member should have in hand the entire Scriptural text, with his/her specific parts highlighted in a bright color. Proclaim in parts with 5 team members each taking a role: 1) Narrator 2) Jesus 3) Disciple 4) Martha 5) Mary.Be sure to practice the proclamation of this “Scripture Reading”

in parts when you practice the Lazarus exercise. (this helps keep this exercise quiet from multiple page turning)

This exercise is for retreatants only – not team members.

Group Work on Anger & Buried Emotions

Materials Checklist:

__ Retreat Journal__ Pens for each person__ Decorative pillow to use for the “Pillow Toss Activity” (the kind of pillow that goes on an armchair or couch)__ Crayons or colored pencils

Touching the Cloak of Christ


__ Cloth to symbolize the cloak of Christ (A simple Jewish weave or soft muslin fabric). It will be most effective if the cloth resembles the type of cloth worn during the time of Jesus.

__ Play soft meditative music.

The Woman at the Well


__ Soft instrumental music __ One very large crystal punch bowl filled 2/3 with water__ Fresh or silk greenery and flowers__ One glass pitcher filled with water __ Participant: Woman at the Well cue card – see Appendix __ Optional scripted version of Scripture Reading in 3 parts – see Appendix


You can hang the cloth around the monstrance and do this exercise in the chapel or place the piece of cloth on the altar. If you do not wish to use the chapel, place the cloth in the center of your circle.“Heal Me” by Michael John Poirier (Album: Healing After the Choice)

Pouring Our Hearts Out to the Lord


__ Leave the punch bowl on the table from “The Woman at the Well” exercise__ “Whispers of Love” cards (in Appendix)__ 50 – 60 floating tea lights. __ Large Christ candle.__ Optional: Taper to make it easier to light the floating candles from the Christ

candle, placed in a container of sand__ Soft, very gentle music


Play meditative music to enhance this exercise. Either nature tapes with water running in the background can be effective, or instrumental music “Come to the Water” by David Phillips“My Soul is Thirsting” by L’Arche Noah Sealth (album: Light to the Darkness)“There is a River” by Michael John Poirier (album: Healing After the Choice)“My Soul is Thirsting (Psalm 63) or Psalm 42

Arrange the large punch bowl on a coffee table in the middle of the circle. Place fresh greenery and flowers around the bowl. This bowl will symbolize the well of Jacob, where Christ met with the Samaritan woman.

Have participant cue card on table next to bowl to help participants remember what to say as they pour water into the bowl.

Optional: Use the 3 part scripted version of the “Scripture Reading” in the Appendix. Print on stock paper on both sides. Each participating team member should have in hand the entire Scriptural text, with his/her specific parts highlighted in a bright color. Proclaim in parts with 3 team members each taking a role: 1) Narrator 2) Jesus 3) Woman.Be sure to practice the proclamation of this “Scripture Reading”

Meeting Our Children with Christ

Materials Checklist:__ Flashlights for readers__ Soft meditative music__ A small bouquet of wild flowers for each participant

Bereavement Dolls for Memorial Service


Be sure to hand out “Whispers of Love” according to relationship to aborted/lost child. (Mothers, Fathers, Grandparents, etc..)

Note: Singer Donna Lee has recorded a beautiful sung version of “Whispers from Heaven”. You can order the CD at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/donnalee You can play the song as the participants are reading the poem, or right after.

Make sure you have one candle for each child which has been aborted or miscarried. We include miscarried babies as well as aborted children because they are invited to honor all losses of the womb. After abortion, there can be a 200% increase in miscarriages. These candles will be lit and placed into the living water of Christ as the mothers and fathers name their children. You may need 50 – 60 because many women have had multiple pregnancy losses. Place all the candles on the table surrounding the punch bowl so that they are easy to pick up during the ritual.

Make sure Christ candle is lit and near the bowl. They will light each tea candle by using the flame from the “Light of Christ.”

ALTERNATIVE SONG: “Kathryn, John and Mary” by Michael John Poirier

Room must be dark for Living Scripture – the only light should be the Christ candle. Reader uses flashlight.Team members will place a bouquet of flowers on the lap of each participant at “The little one hands you the flowers as a remembrance of the love you share together. Make sure your helpers know their cue.

Then, so that participants may hear the important words of forgiveness from their children, you may use the song “Forgiven” by Michael John Poirier at the end of the Living Scripture “Meeting our Children with Christ”.

http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/donnalee

Materials Checklist:__ Small empty holy water bottles__ Bereavement dolls in basket__ Memorial Service information cards (in Appendix)__ Adoration sign-up sheet (in Appendix)__ “Saturday Night Packet” to include (see ‘Handouts’ in Appendix):

-Monica’s Letter / Michael’s Letter-Explanation of Eucharistic Adoration-Examination of Conscience

__ Calligraphy Pen or access to computer printer to put names on Certificates of Life

__ Memorial Service Program covers: (Pretty paper with names of babies)

Letters to our Children

Materials Checklist:__ Retreat Journal (Received in Welcome Packet)__ Rocking chair with life-size baby doll (optional)__ Pens


One helper brings basket of Bereavement Dolls around, and participant takes one for each child lost by abortion or miscarriage.Second helper follows and distributes “Saturday Night Packet.” See Handouts in Appendix During Saturday night clean-up, team members fill holy water bottles from “Jacob’s Well” and place underneath the table to be distributed Sunday morning during “Breath of Heaven” exercise. Important Note: This is holy water and needs to be disposed of properly – Do not dump down the drain – please water the plants outside.

If you are using the Madonna Monstrance make sure you have adequate extension cords so you can place it where you want in the Chapel, taking into consideration that outlets may be limited. (Information about ordering a Madonna Monstrance can be found in the Appendix)

If non-Catholics would like to participate in keeping vigil, you might bring the Cloak of Christ into the Chapel for a more familiar symbol.

Optional: Some retreat teams put a nice big sturdy rocking chair and or pillows in the chapel.

Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament

Materials Checklist: __ Monstrance__ Extra light bulb__ Extension cords__ Cloak of Christ__ Pillows__ Rocking Chair


Optional: Some teams set up an intimate corner with a rocking chair with a life-size, weighted baby doll that can help participants more concretely envision the reality of their child. Some participants will go “rock” after confession or before Adoration, for example. This option can be particularly helpful for participants who perhaps have never given birth to other children. A team member or outside support person can bring the rocker and doll any time before Saturday evening. Cover chair with a large sheet or blanket until this option is announced Saturday evening just before confession time.

Sacrament of Reconciliation

Tasks:__ Assign rooms for confession__ Post priest(s)’ name outside door

Review ChecklistThings team helpers must do on Saturday night:

1) Collect the memorial service information cards from each person. Double check accuracy and readability for helper responsible for printing.

2) Use calligraphy/elegant computer printer font to put the names onto the Certificates of Life which will be presented on Sunday during the Memorial Service.

3) Use calligraphy/fancy computer printer font to put the names of each child being honored onto the cover of the Memorial Service booklet. (This cover is in the Appendix and must be copied onto colored stationary: suggested “pretty paper” includes paper with clouds, rainbows, or angels, etc.)

4) Check in with the individuals on the retreat. See that no one is having trouble with writing a letter to their babies. If they are, allow them to express their fears or anxieties. Invite them to take their time. They may need to “sleep on it” and work on the letter in the morning. Give gentle encouragement, but do not pressure.

5) Make sure Eucharistic Adoration sign-up sheet is filled and posted. You can put it on the door of the chapel so that individuals will know who is supposed to go in after they have completed their hour. Instruct them to wake up that person when it is their turn.

6) Prepare the room for Sunday morning; clean up tissues, bowl, candles etc. Gather retreat materials that will be needed on Sunday.

7) Fill Holy Water Bottles from Jacob’s Well. Important: Any left-over holy water needs to be disposed of properly – Do not dump down the drain – please water the plants outside.


Suggestion: During the Scripture Experience, in small groups, do affirmations one at a time. In large groups we suggest that you allow participants to seek one another out.

Option 1: With small retreats, each participant can be “affirmed” by all the other participants, instead of just by one person.

Suggestion 1) Have a central chair that each participant will sit in during his/her affirmations, and drape a colorful cloak /shawl around the persons shoulders while he or she is receiving affirmations.

Suggestion 2) Have a post-it note pad for each participant invite them to write down one Christ like quality they have witnessed and announce it as they post the quality on the person symbolically. (Clothing them with Christ)

Day 3 Retreat Exercises

Preparing for the Next Steps


_ Contact Sheet: If members of the retreat would like to share their name and address with other participants they can sign the contact sheet. These should be photocopied and distributed before the retreat ends so that everyone will get a copy before leaving. This can be a nice way to keep contact with others, offer peer support, and maintain the friendships which will inevitably form on the retreat. (See Appendix)

Affirmations: “Clothing Ourselves with Christ”

Materials Checklist:__ Small basket__ Write down the name of each participant, including entire team, on small pieces of paper and place these in the basket. The names will be used for the affirmation exercise.__ Optional: Post-it Notes and Pens


Cup of Grace

Materials Checklist:__ Large glass goblet__ A small (one quart) glass pitcher__ Bottle of white grape juice__ Small cups for participants to drink from the Cup of Grace__ Platter to carry cups on__ A standing crucifix, approx 12” tall, to be placed on table.__ Optional placemat to protect white tablecloth (example shown)

Breath of Heaven


___ “Breath of Heaven:”a) Sung by Amy Grant. It can be found on her “Christmas Album”b) Sung by Tatiana: “Emmanuel The story of Christmas” Album

___ Pass out Holy Water bottles from last night’s exercise

Moving Forward

Materials Checklist:__ “Sunday Morning Packet” to include the following (see “Handouts” in

Appendix)__ Evaluation forms__ Volunteer Forms


Play an energetic and upbeat musical selection while the cup is being passed.Small clear cups can be ordered at:http://www.kegworks.com/product.php?productid=172525&cat=964&page=1

http://www.kegworks.com/product.php?productid=172525&cat=964&page=1

__ Photocopy of Contact information sheet __ Any forms regarding local follow-up meetings, referrals for counseling__ Vine & Branches newsletter sign-up sheets__ Companions on the Journey information sheet__ Sign-up Sheet for Oaktrees (12 month support email newsletter)__ Silent No More Handouts__ List of Recovery Resources – See Appendix Support Groups__ Helpful Books and Bible studies – See Appendix

__ Rosaries, booklets, or other gifts

Memorial Service


__ Remind all participants to bring their bereavement dolls to the Memorial Service. They each received these dolls on Saturday night.

__ Memorial Service program. The names of all children being honored should be written on the front of your program (sample program in Appendix).

__ Make sure that the Leader of the Service also has a copy of this list, as she will announce the names at the beginning of the service.

__ Certificates of Life. These should be filled out ahead of time for each person. They will be handed out at the end of the Memorial Service. Make sure to use the correct Certificate of Life according to the relationship of participant and child.

__ Coffee table which is low to the ground with white cover on it. This will be placed in front of the altar. This is the table that the cradle will go on as well as all the candles. Make sure it is big enough to hold cradle and candles.

__ Votive candles and glass holders. One candle will be lit for each child aborted or miscarried. Because of multiple pregnancy losses you should have at least 50-60 candles. These should be set up around the cradle. We recommend glass holders because of fire hazard. The heat generated from many candles can melt them down and be dangerous.

__ A decorated wooden cradle or Baby Basket__ White pillow and small white decorative blanket. Use whatever materials you

can find to decorate the cradle ( lace covers or silk material) The cradle is also a symbol of a coffin so keep this in mind as you decorate.

__ Wood cross. A large wooden cross or crucifix should be placed directly behind the cradle.


__ Alleluia banner to be draped over cross. This can be made out of a 5 inch wide white ribbon. You can glue or paint gold letters on the fabric “ALLELUIA.”

__ Place all ritual symbols from the retreat on the altar behind the memorial table. (The rock, the cloak of Christ, the cup, etc.)

__ Matches or taper lighter__ Silk or real flowers to put around cradle. White Easter lilies are especially

significant.__ Cross pins with rose on them __ Live long-stem rose to be given out to each participant__ Vase or flower basket to hold roses before you have given them out __ Angel doll ornaments (to be given at end of Memorial Service)__ Cards “Solace and Love” to be distributed during Memorial Service__ Plenty of tissues available throughout the chapel__ Music CD , tape, or IPOD player__ Selections for background music to be played during Memorial Service

The songs you use can be any selection of your choice. The music must be soft background music and appropriate for grieving. Do not use anything that would be loud or intrusive.

Recommendations:1) “Chanticleer” By Giovanni Pierluigi Da Palestrina by Warner Music.

This is a collection of beautiful 15th-century chant music NOTE: “Chanticleer” is the name of the men’s a cappella chorale group.They have many CD’s in this genre.

2) Suggestion: A song to begin memorial service and another to close.This can be played on a tape or sung live. It can be an original, composed by one of your retreat participants, or previously selected and rehearsed. Choose something comforting and gentle, such as a lullaby or a funeral song such as:a) “In Paradisium” b) “May the Choir of Angels Come to Greet you.”c) Opening Song Option: If “Kathryn, John and Mary” was used Saturday

night, it may be introduced again Sunday as opening song for Memorial Service, with a brief explanation to guests that the song is already familiar to participants and conveys the summary of the entire weekend to this point.

d) “Once in a Daydream” by Michael John Poirier


Mass of Entrustment


__ Have Mass booklets prepared with music selections so congregation can sing or Hymnals

__ Music ministers to sing and play guitar, piano or organ__ Vestments for priest and prepare altar__ Altar cloth__ Mass kit: Communion hosts, wine, etc.__ Select readers__ Assign people to bring up the gifts__ Mass Kit: Communion Hosts, Cruet of Wine, Cruet of Water, Paten, Palls,

Chalice, Corporal, Purificators, Lavabo Towel, Lavabo Bowl, Candles, Altar Cloth

__ Optional: Aspergillum if using sprinkling rite

Anointing of the Holy Spirit and Sending Forth

Materials:___ If “Option #3” is used, provide Holy Cards of different saints appropriately chosen for their virtues, OR, of the same saint for all retreatants.


Job Assignments: Person to hand out programsSomeone assigned to door to greet relatives and friendsLeader welcoming addressFour Support team members to stand at altar when it is time to place the bereavement dolls in the cradle. (Help light candles, pray with mourner, hand out cross pin and long-stem rose)Distributor of Certificates of LifeWitness of Certificates of Life Hand out angel ornamentsLead closing prayer Make sure you have enough tissues for everyone

grief to grace - rachel's vineyard c02 supply... · web view1) “chanticleer” by giovanni...

Documents