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thoughts and comment Grief Not of Dying Grief born of death is an aching, gnawing pain that is conceived not from love but from loss of love, from loneliness, from loss of a long-remembered face. Grief is an expected product of death and those about us approve of our weeping, our disbelief, our pain. They reach out with a touch and words that are warm and comforting and caring. But my grief is not of dying. It was born when chance of giving birth died. When cold, unfeeling steel held by warm, sure hands took away my only hope of beautiful, happy children born in their father’s image. Why is my grief not shared? W h y can no one understand that my children have died just as the child with leukemia dies and that I must grieve for them? Hours, days, years? My grief is prolonged because I cannot see their faces, cannot feel their warm, clinging bodies close to mine. If only I could have seen them! Perhaps then I could let them go. If others could see them, touch them, perhaps then they could feel my loss, my need. Perhaps then they could realize that I grieve and feel hours of endless pain born of what can never be. Nurse, family, friends, come and go but not one sees my agony. They are blind and deaf to the eyes of sorrow and the cries of loneliness. I play the role expected of me. No tears. I smile. I am a “good patient.” My wound heals they tell me. But the open, gaping wound within takes voice and screams out to closed hearts and unhearing ears. I grieve! I feel pain that never ends. Please share my grief and lighten my burden of pain. Please understand. Please care! LAVERNE BROWN The author is Chair~Jlm of the Division of Nursing mid Assistant Professor at the University of Kentucky Padiicah Coi~n~ivnity College. She received an MSN in rrraternal-infantn & h g from the University of Allrbmm; a BSN froii1 Murray (Kentucky) Stnti. University, m d her diploma froiii Owensboro-Daviess Cbiirity Hospital School of Nursing, Owensboro, Kenttrcky. She served as President of the Kentucky Nurses Association District S, and as the Association Advisor to the Kentucky Association of Nursing Students. She is n v m b e r of NAACOG and of the Kentucky League for Nursing. May/June 1973 JOGN Nzrrskzg J3

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Page 1: Grief Not of Dying

thoughts and comment Grief Not of Dying

Grief born of death is an aching, gnawing pain that is conceived not from love but from loss of love, from loneliness, from loss of a long-remembered face.

Grief is an expected product of death and those about us approve of our weeping, our disbelief, our pain. They reach out with a touch and words that are warm and comforting and caring.

But m y grief is not of dying. It was born when chance of giving birth died. When cold, unfeeling steel held by warm, sure hands took away my only hope of beautiful, happy children born in their father’s image.

W h y is my grief not shared? W h y can no one understand that my children have died just as the child with leukemia dies and that I must grieve for them?

Hours, days, years? My grief is prolonged because I cannot see their faces, cannot feel their warm, clinging bodies close to mine. If only I could have seen them! Perhaps then I could let them go.

If others could see them, touch them, perhaps then they could feel my loss, m y need. Perhaps then they could realize that I grieve and feel hours of endless pain born of what can never be.

Nurse, family, friends, come and go but not one sees m y agony. They are blind and deaf to the eyes of sorrow and the cries of loneliness.

I play the role expected of me. No tears. I smile. I am a “good patient.” My wound heals they tell me. But the open, gaping wound within takes voice and screams out to closed hearts and unhearing ears.

I grieve! I feel pain that never ends. Please share my grief and lighten my burden of pain. Please understand. Please care!

LAVERNE BROWN

The author is Chair~Jlm of the Division of Nursing mid Assistant Professor at the University of Kentucky Padiicah Coi~n~ivnity College. She received an MSN in rrraternal-infant n & h g from the University of Allrbmm; a BSN froii1 Murray (Kentucky) Stnti. University, m d her diploma froiii Owensboro-Daviess Cbiirity Hospital School o f Nursing, Owensboro, Kenttrcky. She served as President of the Kentucky Nurses Association District S, and as the Association Advisor to the Kentucky Association of Nursing Students. She is n v m b e r of NAACOG and of the Kentucky League for Nursing.

May/June 1973 JOGN Nzrrskzg J3

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