grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

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GRIEF & MOURNING University of La Verne Counseling Center Brenda Bryan, Ian Carpenter & Rick Rogers January 20, 2009

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Page 1: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

GRIEF & MOURNING

University of La VerneCounseling Center

Brenda Bryan, Ian Carpenter & Rick Rogers

January 20, 2009

Page 2: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

NORMAL GRIEF REACTIONS

EMOTIONAL PHYSICAL Sadness Sorrow Pain Anger Guilt/self-reproach Anxiety Loneliness Shock Yearning Emancipation Relief Numbness Emptiness

Hollowness in stomach Tightness in chest Tightness in throat Dry mouth Oversensitivity to noise Depersonalization Breathlessness Weakness in muscles Fatigue/lack of energy

Page 3: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

NORMAL GRIEF REACTIONS

COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL Disbelief Confusion Preoccupation Sense of presence Hallucinations Thoughts of own death

Sleep disturbance Change in appetite Absent-minded behavior Social withdrawal Dreams of deceased Avoiding reminders of

deceased Searching & calling out Crying Sighing Restless over-activity Visiting places or carrying

objects that remind you of deceased

Treasuring objects that belonged to deceased

Page 4: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

KUBLER-ROSS’ STAGES OF GRIEF

Denial and Isolation Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance

Page 5: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

WORDEN’S TASKS OF MOURNING

1. To accept the reality of the loss

2. To experience the pain or emotional aspects of the loss

3. To adjust to an environment in which the deceased is missing.

4. A. To make a healthy emotional withdrawal from the deceased and to feel comfortable reinvesting that emotion in another relationship

B. To relocate the deceased within one’s life and find ways to memorialize the person

Page 6: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

TYPES OF LOSSES

Page 7: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

Group Discussion

Page 8: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

Do’s & Don’ts for supporting a child

WHAT TO DO WHAT NOT TO DO

Page 9: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

Do’s & Don’ts for supporting an Adult

WHAT TO DO WHAT NOT TO DO

Page 10: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

How to cope with aniversaries and holidaysAnticipate your fearsPrepare how you want to copeRemember to take care of your physical healthHow will you attend to your emotional wellbeing?

Page 11: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

Anniversaries and Holidays

Anticipate in advance what your fears consist of about surviving an anniversary & the holidays without the deceased.

Page 12: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

Anniversaries and Holidays

Prepare in advance how you want to cope with the anniversary & spend the holiday Who will you want to be with? Will you want

to talk with this person(s) about your grieving feelings? And if so how willing are they to listen?

Will you want to go to the grave site on or around the anniversary?

Will you want some private time to reflect about your loved one not being there with you & if so plan for such time?

Page 13: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

Anniversaries and Holidays

Journal or write a letter to your deceased loved one letting them know what you are feeling &

thinking as you go through this anniversary or holiday without him/her.

Page 14: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

Anniversaries and Holidays

Remember to take care of your physical health via: Continue to exercise regularly (or if you have

not been exercising start an exercise routine) Get ample sleep Eat regular meals

Page 15: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

Anniversaries and Holidays How will you attend to your emotional

well-being? What are your best stress management

strategies? What kind of relaxation, meditation or prayer

works for you to quiet your mind? How might you enjoy some aspect of nature’s

grandeur to bring to you some peace of mind (e.g., watching a sunset, enjoying being outdoors)?

What is your favorite music that might soothe & calm you?

Who can you talk to when your emotions overcome you?

Page 16: Grief & mourning workshop 01 20 09

Know that. . .“Grief begins with a terrible and lonely loss. Grief changes you but it is not destroying you. Grief is a powerful teacher…. Your growth in the midst of your pain can bear fruit in your spirit and make you all the richer.” (Rabbi Earl Grollman, 1997).