Sonal Srivastava: There isa lot of anger these days,against ‘urban naxals’and ‘cow smugglers;’ how

best can this anger bereported in the media?■ Shantum Seth: It’s dif-

ficult to close the door oncethe horse has run out; we haveto look for causes in casessuch as the Nirbhaya case andthe Unnao case. If you startlooking deeply, you find sim-ilar problems and sense of iso-lation. We have to work on ed-ucation and think long-term;there is inherent goodness inhuman beings. In education,we should also teach how totrain the mind, to understanddependent origination. Itmeans your suffering is mysuffering and your happiness

is my happiness. If I look atmyself, I am half my fatherand half my mother, but if welook at a wider perspective,

maybe I am the food that I atetoday, the culture of India. Imay have read a book pub-lished in Brazil, so all differ-ent cultures and civilisationsmake me who I am today. Ifyou take even one of them out,then I am not the same per-son. We have to shift our ped-agogical approach; it shouldbe age-appropriate. ■

Shantum Seth is a teacher,social worker

A musicologist says toher sociologist friend,“We’re not that different,you and I.” “How so?” the sociologist askssceptically. “We bothstudy cymbalic interaction.”

The optimist sees the glasshalf full. The pessimistsees the glass half empty. The chemist see the glasscompletely full, half in theliquid state and half in thevapour state.

Q: Why can’t you trust anatom? A: It makes up everything.

http://www.speakingtree.in

Swami Sukhabodhananda

Life is full of surpris-es. Each surprise is agift from the

unknown. We can’t experi-ence a surprise as a gift ifour minds are filled withpreconceived notions ofwhat we should receiveand what we should not,for then, the wonderfulexperience of surprise islost. The soul of enlight-ened living is not to beindifferent to the message

of life, but to flow with life. Is it not a miracle when

the sun rises, the birds startchirping, when the seed be-comes a tree and from thetree seeds are born? In thefinite seed, infinite possi-bility is hidden. Those whodon’t take life for grantedwill retain that childlike in-nocence; they participate inthe movement of life withgrace and joy. Success andfailure become points ofcelebration rather than

points of frustration. When you are success-

ful, you want to be more suc-cessful and so you tend tolose your ability to rejoicein success. Greed makes youlook at the other as a com-petitor, a threat. Instead oflearning from failure youwallow in self-pity.

When you celebrateyour success, don’t fill thatmoment with greed, fill itwith joy. Include planningfor the future. Planning ispart of greed but is also partof wise living. ■

CELEBRATE SUCCESS & FAILURE

OUR INHERENT GOODNESS ALIKE

FULL GLASS

CAN’T TRUST

SACREDSPACE

Be Thankful

Every living entity, especially human beings,must feel grateful for thebenedictions offered by

the grace of the Supreme. Srimad BBhagavatam

✥Gratitude opens the door

to the power, wisdom, and creativity of the

universe. You open doorsthrough gratitude.

Deepak CChopra

✥Gratitude is the sweetestthing in a seeker’s life. Ifthere is gratitude in your

heart, then there will be tremendous sweetness

in your eyes. Sri CChinmoy

✥When asked if my cup is

half-full or half-empty myonly response is that I am

thankful I have a cup. Sam LLefkowitz

LEADERSHIP02 “Every flower is a soul blossoming in nature.”GÉRARD DE NERVAL, FRENCH WRITER AND POET

B ullied students often lose confi-dence in themselves and start tothink of themselves as stupid, a

failure, or unattractive. Students whoobserve bullying may feel anxious (per-haps they will be targeted next?) orguilty (for not intervening to stop bul-lying). Over time, students who observefrequent bullying may feel less and lessempathy for the student who is beingbullied... Here are a few other FAQson bullying in school.

What is bullying? In order to addressthe issue of bullying, it is important toclearly understand how bullying is de-fined. A commonly used definition de-veloped by Dr Olweus is — a per-son is bullied when he or sheis exposed, repeatedly andover time, to negative ac-tions on the part of oneor more other persons,and he or she has diffi-culty defending himselfor herself. Expressed inmore everyday languageone might say: Bullyingis when someone repeat-edly and on purpose says ordoes mean or hurtful things toanother person who has a hard timedefending himself or herself. What are the different forms or kinds

of bullying? It is possible to divide thedifferent types of bullying into directand indirect forms. In direct forms, bul-lying involves relatively open attacks,usually in a face-to-face confrontation.Typical examples of direct bullying in-clude verbal bullying with derogatory

comments and nasty names, andphysical bullying with hit-

ting, kicking, shoving, andspitting.

In indirect bullying,the aggressive acts aremore concealed andsubtle, and it may bemore difficult for thebullied student to

know who is responsi-ble for the bullying. Typ-

ical examples include so-cial isolation—that is, inten-

tionally excluding someone from agroup or activity—and spreading liesand nasty rumours.

Why do some students bully? Researchsuggests there are several partly in-terrelated motives for bullying:1. Students who bully have strong needsfor power and (negative) dominance;they seem to enjoy being “in control”and subduing others. 2. Students who bully find satisfactionin causing injury. This may be at leastpartly due to the environment at home,which may have caused hostility with-in the student. 3. Students who bullyothers may have some family charac-teristics, such as parents who are notinvolved in their children’s lives, wholack warmth and positive involvement. What causes bullying?Research suggests that personalitycharacteristics and a student’s ten-dency toward aggressive behaviours,combined with physical strength orweakness (in the case of boys) are im-portant risk factors for bullying in in-dividual students.

QUERY?These queries were

asked by students fromBal Bharti Public School,

Noida. Have a query? Reachout to us at

toinie 175@gmail.com or www.toistudent.com

FAQs on BULLYING IN SCHOOL

LEADERSHIPLESSONS FROMFROZEN

In the film, we finally see female characters whoare strong, complex and vulnerable. Thecharacters are candid enough to question eachother’s choices and stand up for what’s right.What can ‘Frozen’ teach us about leadership?

Take responsibility foryour mistakes.Princess Anna admits that she’s

made mistakes and is re-sponsible for fixing them.

She’s onto something here!Don’t pass blame onto anyoneelse to solve your problems.Whatever is causing the is-sue, act as if it’s your re-sponsibility to fix it.

Strive to bring outthe best in people.

People make bad choices ifthey’re mad or scared orstressed, but throw a little love

their way, and you’ll bring outtheir best. Leadership is about

encouraging people to grow.When you work with problem-

atic people, find compas-sion for them.

Your loved ones will offerwell-meaning but misguidedadvice to stay small.Often the people who love us most cau-tion us against taking risks. Everyleader can tell you stories of familyand friends who advised them not totake action. Our loved ones mean sowell. They want to protect you againstthe dangers they perceive in theworld… But it can take a lifetime toovercome this advice and grow intoyour greatest strengths.

Focus on what you want, evenif it seems impossible. The“how” will follow.Maybe you have a big dream that oth-er people are bound to laugh at (likethe snowman who longs for summer).Don’t let the impossibility stop you.Don’t get caught up in the how.Dream your dream, take little stepstoward it every day, and you will beblown away by how the universemoves to give you opportunities.

When you hit a snag, networkwith people who can helpsolve your problems.As a leader, you will always encounterobstacles. This is when we make themost of our lifetime spent building re-lationships. In a pinch, your networkcan help you navigate challenges asthey arise. For example, you mightneed to build a relationship (say, withthe sister of the Snow Queen) in orderto resolve your supply and demandproblem. Just saying.

When you have a burninggoal, no mountain is too high.Obstacles are those frightful thingsyou see when you take your eyes off

your goal. If you are clear about whatyou want, and you are taking stepsevery day to get closer to your goal, noobstacle can hold you back.

Leadership is about posture.Sometimes, the best way to become aleader is to simply assume the postureof someone with authority. Think ofa doctor who pushes through a crowdin a medical emergency. Or PrinceHans, who takes over rule of Arendellein Anna’s stead. Nobody asked theseguys for their qualifications. Theysimply stepped up and started leading.You can do it too.

When you level up, life will take you outside your comfort zone.During Elsa’s (the protagonist) coro-nation ceremony, her hands shake asshe removes her gloves. Sure, she’s hid-ing powers she’s afraid of. But aren’twe all? When it’s time to step into aleadership role, it can be frighteningto acknowledge the power you hold.Once you acknowledge your power,you’re accountable to it. Rely on thepeople who support you, keep yourgoals front of mind, and you’ll getthrough it with grace.

Emotional resilience is everything.If you want to rise into leadership,you have to stop caring what othersthink. Ignore the haters. Be yourselfand don’t give a rip what anyone else thinks.

You can’t rise as a leaderuntil you’ve done the person-

al work. This means facingyour fears. Step back, get

some perspective, and makesense of your personal chal-

lenges. Forgive the past.Straighten your posture

Leadership is exercised indifferent contexts in life.Whether it is handling a

school project or managing anational crisis, leadershipskills are important. Most ofthe life skills that you havelearnt so far are essential forbecoming a leader. Taking ini-tiative, thinking creatively,having integrity, communi-cating effectively, showing em-

pathy, making decisions, re-solving conflicts, keepingpromises and having a posi-tive attitude are the hallmarksof good leadership. Schoolprojects provide you with op-portunities to practice leader-ship skills. For example, youform teams, make decisionsand motivate each other todo well. As you communi-cate with your teammates,you develop interpersonalrelationships. All these ex-periences will be benefi-

cial if you get leadership po-sitions in the future.

If you like to be aleader, remember thatyou cannot work alone.A good leader worksalong with the team toachieve goals.

When you re-spect your teammembers they willco-operate with you

to make things hap-pen.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO BE A LEADER?

HAVE A VISION: Leaders have a clear idea ofwhat they want to achieve. They share their

vision with their team members and inspirethem to realise it.

POSSESS INTEGRITY: People trustleaders who lead anhonest life and stand

up for the truth.

SHOW HUMILITY: True leaders are humble.They have self-confidence and self-belief. Theycan recognise the talents in others and do notfeel insecure promoting them in their careers.

GIVE RESPECT: Leaders have a ‘we’ mentality.They provide direction and guidance to teammembers to get the desired results.

HAVE EMPATHY: Leaders do not misuse theirpower to bully people or harm them. Theyare compassionate and understanding of oth-ers’ needs.

TOP TALK TRAITS OF A TRUE LEADER

There is no problem in beingpart of the crowd. But if youwant to be different, thenadditional skills is going to setyou apart. If you want to leadsomeday, you will have tolearn to be a leader. Simple.Alia Bhatt, actor

It is inbuilt in us that we needto stay ahead of the herd. Thesurvival of the fittest... It isingrained in us that we have tolead in order to succeed and Idon’t see anything bad in thatschool of thought.

Kunal Kamra, stand-up comedian

I don’t think it’s necessary totrain to be a leader. If you arehappy in whatever role hasbeen assigned to you; I thinkyou are good. Why doeseveryone have to be a part ofa rat race?

Bhuvan Bam,Youtube star

There is no harm in trying tobe a leader within your means.As long as you are not step-ping into anyone’s shoes; youshould keep at it. The problemhappens when you take yourdesire too seriously. Vaibhavi Merchant, choreographer

My parents taught me to be agood person; as a leader or asa team member. It is essentialthat specific leadership traitsshould happen organically andnot be forced upon anyone.The choice is yours!

Imtiaz Ali, director

Story board Great leaders get onto the field and lead byexample. This story shows you how!

According to a popularstory, many yearsago, a rider on horse-back came across a

small group of exhausted sol-diers. The soldiers were tryingto move a heavy log of timber.An officer stood beside themand ordered around rudely —“Come on, move the log..” Thelog was too heavy for the sol-diers to lift. The strangerturned to the officer and said,“Why don’t you step forwardand lend a hand?”

“I’m the senior. I only giveorders sir. You can help themif you feel strongly about it.”Much to his surprise, the rid-er dismounted and joined thesoldiers. “Now, everybody to-gether boys. Heave!” he said.They managed to heave thebulky piece of timber into itsplace. The stranger mountedhis horse and addressed thesenior.“The next time youhave a piece of timber for

your men to heave, officer,send for your commander-in-chief.” The rider was noneother than George Washing-ton, the first President of theUSA.

What you learn: Whenleaders demonstrate such in-tegrity, courage and empathy,can success be far behind?

We have to shift our pedagogical

approach; it should be age-appropriate

Direct bullying includeverbal bullying with

derogatory commentsand nasty names, andphysical bullying with

hitting, kicking, shovingand spitting. In indirectbullying, the aggressive

acts are more con-cealed and subtle

COUNSELLOR