Grammar Maid Plane

Made Plain—and most of it is not grammar

IntroductionO Composition books a plague upon

the landO Major publishing ventureO Many purchased, few are readO Many vilified—Strunk & White:

. . . both authors were grammatical incompetents. Strunk had very little analytical understanding of syntax, White even less. Certainly White was a fine writer, but he was not qualified as a grammarian.

Geoffrey K. Pullum, head of Linguistics and English language, University of Edinburgh

. . . both authors were grammatical incompetents. Strunk had very little analytical understanding of syntax, White even less. Certainly White was a fine writer, but he was not qualified as a grammarian.

Geoffrey K. Pullum, head of Linguistics and English language, University of Edinburgh

Good ones?O Canadian Writer’s Handbook,

Messenger et al.

O Young writers need extensive feedback on many levels

O The task for teachers is very demanding

O They may need tightly-focused lessons offering them details of composition they may not have abstracted from their reading

O They may even need some new terms and categories to work with

Topics

1. Grammatical Bugbears2. Diction: Clarity vs. Clichés3. Sentence Length: Coherence and

Purpose4. Argument and Evidence

Bugbears(illus. Sir John Tenniel, Alice in Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll.)

What Are Bugbears?

O Grammatical howlers, frequently merely conventional or formal errors

O Many do not impair the effectiveness of the communication

O Do we have to judge them?O Consider:

Hamlet was suppose to chastise his mother and kill his uncle, but his essentially contemplative nature prevented him from taking effective action until events outpaced him.

suppose to

A Sad History of Prejudice

O Some bugbears are artificial— beginning a sentence with “because” “splitting the infinitive”O Language is constantly changing

(“literally” means “figuratively”!)O HOWEVER, a minimal level of

competence is necessary to ensure a fair hearing for your students

O “Status markers” will overshadow a writer’s accomplishment . . .

Where Writing Places You

On a porch playing the banjo . . . ?

In an office making decisions . . . ?

Grammatical BugbearsO Cannot be ignored (“use to,” “should

of,” “with regards to”)O Will always overshadow genuine

achievement to some degreeO Technology cannot yet save us--

MS Word May Not Help!

MS Word May Not Help!

Finding Bugbears

2. DictionO By this point, young writers have

completed an apprenticeship during which expansiveness and dilation have been emphasized over precision and economy

O It is time to require them to chooseO The right words and O Words they know and can use well.

Clichés• At the end of the day• Fairly unique• I personally• At this moment in

time• With all due respect• It comes down to

• Absolutely• It’s a nightmare• Shouldn’t of• 24/7• It’s not rocket science• The bigger picture

• “The bigger picture”

Vague Phrasal Verbs

“Of course, the heartbreaking lyrics of dying love are something which almost everyone can relate to.”

O “relate to,” “relatable”O What can it mean?

O Adam Hooks of the University of Iowa: "'Relatable' is a sign of a failure to engage with the work or text, a failure to get beyond one's own concerns to confront the unfamiliar and the uncomfortable.”

O the term has come replace analysis or argument

Novelty & VocabularyO “make it new” is not the always best

advice for selecting wordsO Accuracy and familiarity (of

individual words, not phrases) are crucial

O The evil comes from overly familiar phrases and unnecessarily obscure words

Complex DictionO What do people REALLY think of

overly complex diction?

O D. Oppenheimer, Stanford U (2003): O people who use unnecessarily

complicated language are viewed as less intelligent than people who use more familiar language

Consequences of Erudite Vernacular Utilized

Irrespective of Necessity:

Problems With Using Long Words Needlessly

Effective Diction

Diction should be . . .O As simple as the subject permits

(but no simpler!)O As fresh as possibleO Exact and concreteO Appropriate to the audience and

the writer

The aforementioned contretemps makes Cordelia feel really bad about things.The aforementioned contretemps makes Cordelia feel really bad about things.

Ready‑Made Phrases

O Like Frankenstein's monster, "ready‑made" writing is stitched together out of dead parts.

O Avoid phrases that “sound appropriate”

O Use only words you need—and your audience understands

Basic Inflation

• Based on the fact that• Due to the fact that• Exhibit a tendency to• For the purpose of• For the reason that• In spite of the fact

that

Because

Because

Tend to

For

Because

Although

Ready-madesO to the extent that O plays a leading role in O on a daily basis O the fact that O in the event that

Other Types of Repetition

Pointless bifurcation: O basic and fundamental O last and final O issues and concernsO full and complete

Other Types of Repetition

Redundant Phrasal Verbs:O erode awayO continue on O circulate around O enter into

Other Types of Repetition

Redundant Adjectives/Adverbs O future plans O consensus of opinion O especially unique O potential hazard O final outcome

NominalizationsO Verbs turned into nouns, often using

suffixes:O -ationO -mentO -anceO -sion

An ExerciseO Require students to deliver a simple

message using ONLY a few you select together with the words from the lists of trite and wordy expressions

O Award a prize for the “most dilated and obfuscated” message

O A fun and useful way to discuss wordiness and pomposity

Why Wordiness?O Most of these choices are the result

of “length anxiety”O From early grades, length is the

measure of achievementO Students learn to pad—to be honest,

we teach them to do it

3. Length & CoherenceO Students are urged to vary the form

and length of their sentencesO Length in the wrong place is

dangerousO Proceed with cautionO Selecting length with a clear

purpose is one challengeO Give students lots of practice in this

LENGTH QUALITY8 words very easy11 words easy14 words fairly easy17-19 words standard21-24 words fairly difficult25-28 words difficult29+ words very difficult

Why Variety?O There should be a relationship

between the length of a sentence and its purpose

O Variety for its own sake is not enough

O A long sentence should be long for a reason. . . .

Length: AccumulatioWhy dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox withthe pudding in his belly, that reverend Vice, that grey Iniquity, that father Ruffian, that Vanity in years?

1 Henry IV, 2.5.409-14

Accumulatio—and Contrast

Falstaff is not evil because of his ambition, but because of his gluttony, his sloth, his skill at concealing the truth, his reluctance to recognize his vice, his inability to reform himself, and his ability to make all of this seem humorous and attractive. He makes a bad companion for Hal.

Contrasting Brevity

Macbeth seeks out the Weird Sisters, hoping for certainty in the face of the growing chaos that threatens to destroy his tumultuous newly-stolen kingdom. He does not find it.

Sentence 1 is sentence 2 squared (25 and 5 words)

Sentence 1 is sentence 2 squared (25 and 5 words)

Variety in LengthO More gradual variations in length are

possibleO A number of short sentences in

succession can create a feeling of urgency in a narrative or passion in an argument

O Increasing length of successive sentences can build to the climax of an argument

O At the higher levels, variations in length should always reflect the rhetorical goal

Long, Graceful Sentences

O A long sentence should still be readableO Key tactic: Move from subject to verb

quicklyO Avoid delaying the subject-verb

progression with long intervening elements

O A sentence which moves from subject to verb rapidly will still be readable even when it is quite long

Long Subject

Explaining why Shakespeare decided to have Lady Macbeth die offstage rather than letting the audience see her die has to do with understanding the audience’s reactions to Macbeth’s death.

Long Subject

Explaining why Shakespeare Explaining why Shakespeare decided to have Lady Macbeth die decided to have Lady Macbeth die offstage rather than letting the offstage rather than letting the audience see her die audience see her die has to do with understanding the audience’s reactions to Macbeth’s death.

18-word subject—in a 29-word sentence !

18-word subject—in a 29-word sentence !

To the Subject and Beyond

Because Shakespeare wanted the Because Shakespeare wanted the audience to focus on Macbeth’s audience to focus on Macbeth’s death, death, he decided to have Lady Macbeth die offstage. 1. Turn a long subject into

an introductory clause2. You do not have to state

“explaining why” because you ARE explaining why!

3. Don’t waste time telling the reader that you WILL say something—later.

1. Turn a long subject into an introductory clause

2. You do not have to state “explaining why” because you ARE explaining why!

3. Don’t waste time telling the reader that you WILL say something—later.

Improving a Long Sentence

Evidence in the dialogue between Evidence in the dialogue between Hamlet and his mother, Gertrude, Hamlet and his mother, Gertrude, for his incestuous feelings for his incestuous feelings included the authority he assumes over her, the bitterness of his manner, and his focus on her sexual relations with his uncle.

Not extreme—14/36—but awkward

Not extreme—14/36—but awkward

The list itself is fine—good, parallel items.

The list itself is fine—good, parallel items.

Improving a Long Sentence

Evidence in the dialogue between Evidence in the dialogue between Hamlet and his mother, Gertrude, Hamlet and his mother, Gertrude, for his incestuous feelings for his incestuous feelings included the authority he assumes over her, the bitterness of his manner, and his focus on her sexual relations with his uncle.

Some unnecessary overhead—”evidence in the dialogue”—and a weak verb (“included”)

Some unnecessary overhead—”evidence in the dialogue”—and a weak verb (“included”)

Trimming

between between Hamlet and his mother, Gertrude, Hamlet and his mother, Gertrude, for his incestuous feelings for his incestuous feelings the authority he assumed over her, the bitterness of his manner, and his focus on her sexual relations with his uncle.

Now make Hamlet and Gertrude ACTORS in the sentence. . . .

Now make Hamlet and Gertrude ACTORS in the sentence. . . .

Making Hamlet Act

HamletHamlet shows his incestuous feelings for Gertrude through the authority he assumes over her, the bitterness of his manner, and his focus on her sexual relations with his uncle.Now make

Hamlet and Gertrude ACTORS in the sentence. . . .

Now make Hamlet and Gertrude ACTORS in the sentence. . . .

Good and LongO Long sentences can be highly

readable—especially if the subject of the main clause is brief and clear

O Get the reader to the verb quicklyO Coordination and subordination can

extend the readable lengthO Skilful parallelism uses the reader’s

expectations to extend the sentence intelligibly

How to Ruin a Sentence

O Counterintuitive exerciseO Take a good, clear sentence—and

ruin it by relying on nominalizationsO Nominalizations are nouns created

from verbs (as in Sample Exercise 3)

Nominalizations

allocation allocate

assessment assess

compliance comply

determination determine

expectations expect

exposure expose

[had] hopes [of] hoped

A Good Start

Hagar first fails her father, Jason Curry.

ACTOR as SUBJECT

STRONG VERB

A Good Start

Hagar fails her father, Jason Curry.

NOMINALIZATION

failure

Rebuild the sentence around “failure”Rebuild the sentence around “failure”

. . . Turned Bad

The first failure that Hagar experiences is in regard to her father, Jason Curry.

failure

Six-word subject before weak verb “is”Six-word subject before weak verb “is”

Clumsy “in regard to” linkClumsy “in regard to” link

How Bad Is It?O Turning 7 words into 14 words is not

the end of the world, BUTO habitual nominalization destroys

good, clear writingO DOUBLING the length without

increasing the content is unforgiveable

O Remember George Orwell’s old joke. . . .

Objective considerations of contemporary phenomena compel the conclusion that success or failure in competitive activities exhibits no tendency to be commensurate with innate capacity, but that a considerable element of the unpredictable must invariably be taken into account.

I returned and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.

Passage 1:

• 38 words of 90 syllables• vocabulary: educated (18 from Latin roots, 1 from Greek)• no clear images

Passage 2:

• 49 words with 60 syllables• vocabulary: everyday life

• 6 simple, vivid images

4. Argument & Evidence

• Close work with the text is crucial• Three basic techniques:1.Block quotations2.Embedded quotations3.Paraphrase

Block Quotations

As this passage reveals, the description of the setting of "The Lottery" is deceptively pleasant:

The morning of June 27th was clear and sunny, with the fresh warmth of a full-summer day; the flowers were blossoming profusely and the grass was richly green. The people of the village began to gather in the square, between the post office and the bank, around ten o'clock; in some towns there were so many people that the lottery took two days and had to be started on June 26th, but in this village, where there were only about three hundred people, the whole lottery took less than two hours, so it could begin at ten o'clock in the morning and still be through in time to allow the villagers to get home for noon dinner. (782)

There is no indication of the dark meaning of this gathering.

As this passage reveals, the description of the setting of "The Lottery" is deceptively pleasant:

The morning of June 27th was clear and sunny, with the fresh warmth of a full-summer day; the flowers were blossoming profusely and the grass was richly green. The people of the village began to gather in the square, between the post office and the bank, around ten o'clock; in some towns there were so many people that the lottery took two days and had to be started on June 26th, but in this village, where there were only about three hundred people, the whole lottery took less than two hours, so it could begin at ten o'clock in the morning and still be through in time to allow the villagers to get home for noon dinner. (782)

There is no indication of the dark meaning of this gathering.

144 words—my goodness!

144 words—my goodness!

Bulk QuotationO Not only is this overkill, but it fails to

emphasize the key detailsO All we know is that something is

missing from the passage: a sinister note

O Need we read the whole passage for this?

Embedded Quotation/Paraphrase

The setting of "The Lottery," evocative of flowers, green grass, and "the fresh warmth of a full-summer day," is deceptively pleasant. A small crowd forms in the square, amiably confident that their business will soon be finished, allowing them "to get home for noon dinner" (782); there is no indication of the dark purpose of this gathering.

57 words—And more analysis!

57 words—And more analysis!

Less Is MoreO The specific details are highlighted

by being separated from the original passage

O The passage is shorter and contains more editorial comment

O There is no interruption in the flow of the argument

O Advantages over “pure paraphrase”?

Pure Paraphrase

The opening description of the gathering of the villagers in Jackson's "The Lottery" is filled with references to summer growth and minor details of the small town setting (783) that effectively conceal its dark purpose.

35 words—But a little flat!

35 words—But a little flat!

A Choice of ToolsO It uses the same evidence, but the

absence of direct quotation makes it less colourful, convincing, and emphatic

O Some paraphrase/citation work is necessary for a long work

O Students should be adept in all three forms

O They should also recognize weak approaches. . . .

Larry seemed to enjoy having his father appear only at long intervals, leaving him to monopolize his mother's affections. "The war was the most peaceful period of my life" ("My Oedipus Complex" 1322). His world changed when his father came home. "Life without my early morning conferences was unthinkable" (1325). Jump: The

loss of the “early morning conferences”

Weak impliedlink

Weak impliedlink

Ungoverned Quotation!

Ungoverned Quotation!

Ungoverned QuotationsO The reader is forced to supply

connections between the writer's comments and the quoted material.

O While encouraging the reader' s active participation, this abrupt, associative style quickly becomes annoying.

O It should be used only to emphasize unusually clear relationships

The war was "the most peaceful period of [Larry’s] life" ("My Oedipus Complex" 1322) because his father's absence let him monopolize his mother's affections. When his father returned and tried to end Larry's "early morning conferences" with her, the boy found the change "unthinkable" (1325)!

Embedded quotation/ Paraphrase

Embedded quotation/ Paraphrase

Introducing QuotationsO There is something jarring about “as

the following suggests,” “as this passage shows”

O Explicit introductions are usually unnecessary

O The syntactic relationship is often enough

The townspeople make a grotesque discovery after Emily's death, as this passage shows:

What was left of him, rotted beneath what was left of the nightshirt, had become inextricable from the bed in which he lay; and upon him and upon the pillow beside him lay that even coating of the patient and biding dust. Then we noticed that in the second pillow was the indentation of a head. One of us lifted something from it, and leaning forward, that faint and invisible dust dry and acrid in the nostrils, we saw a long strand of iron gray hair. (472-73)

Earlier the graying of Emily's hair is associated with Homer Barron's disappearance; therefore, the hair on the pillow indicates that Emily lay with his corpse.

Use What You ChooseO This quotation is too long and is

introduced awkwardly by the phrase "as this passage shows”

O Shift the emphasis to the interpretation by using brief extracts

The implications of the final scene are grotesque: the pillow beside Homer Barron's rotted body bears the imprint of a head, and here the townspeople find "a long strand of iron-gray hair" (473). Because Emily's hair became gray only after Homer Barron's disappearance (471), she must have lain beside his corpse. 51 words

doing the work of 125

51 words doing the work of 125

At the end of "Great Falls," Jackie explains the destruction of his family this way: "it is just low-life, some coldness in us all, some helplessness that causes us to misunderstand life when it is pure and plain" (636).

Another Laboured introduction: HUGE pause created by “this way”

Another Laboured introduction: HUGE pause created by “this way”

At the end of "Great Falls" Jackie explains that his family was destroyed by "some coldness in us all, some helplessness that causes us to misunderstand life when it is pure and plain" (636).

Well-integrated embedded quotation

Well-integrated embedded quotation

Final NotesO Every reform affects clarity and concisenessO Reducing waste should provide room for

more substantive content—without wearying the reader

O A few bugbears or carelessly chosen words can seriously weaken a paper—but its positive virtue arises from skilful use of evidence and carefully observed logic

O Following a rubric can never guarantee excellence—but it can curtail vices