Grammar as Rhetoric and Style

from The Language of Composition

Direct, Precise, and Active Verbs

• Add energy to writingLanguage of Composition – pp. 498-499 • Read the examples and the analysis of the effects

of the verbs.Direct Verbs – use forms of “to be” sparingly in favor of more direct verbsPrecise Verbs – verbs that create a more vivid image of the actionActive Verbs – use active over passive voice

Verbs Practice

Improve the sentence below by replacing one or more verbs with a more effective verb—more vivid, precise, and active verb. Discuss the rhetorical impact of your choice.It was not very long before she regretted buying the very expensive handbag.

More Practice: Analyze verb choice in class reading

Concise Diction

• Use language that is as straightforward as possible.

Pitfalls to Avoid – See LoC pp. 592-593 for examples.Nominalization – changing a verb into a noun, often resulting in wordiness (ex: discuss discussion; depend dependence)Showy Vocabulary – using “fancy” language without a purpose (is the word really more precise?)

Concise Diction Practice

Revise each sentence as necessary to improve clarity and concision.1. A person who has a dependence on constant

approval from others is usually insecure.2. A key step toward losing weight is to make a

reduction in the amount of food you consume.3. A recalcitrant attitude has resulted from too

many of our colleagues becoming mired in quotidian concerns.

Pronouns

• Words that take the place of a noun• Define viewpoint in writing– First person, second person, third person– Consistency is key for clarity (like we have talked

about with pronoun agreement)

Pronouns and Sexism• The problem: third person singular pronoun to refer to either a male

or a female• Solutions

– Combine the male and female pronouns: he or she– Use the plural form of the pronoun: they (change the sentence accordingly

for agreement)– Alternate the genders of the pronouns

• What are the implications in the following sentence?– I hope I am not giving away professional secrets if I say that a novelist’s

chief desire is to be as unconscious as possible. He has to induce in himself a state of perpetual lethargy.

Considering and correcting sexist pronoun use can help a writer to enhance credibility.

Pronouns and Style

• First person pronouns– More informal, emphasize personal experience

• Second person pronouns– Reserved for informal situations where you want

to directly address and engage the reader (ex: editorials, speeches)

• Third person pronouns– More formal, objective

Pronoun Practice

• Complete Exercise 2 on pages 424-425 according to the directions.

Appositives

• Noun or noun phrase that tells you something about a nearby noun or pronoun

– It turned out that one of the top students, Denny Davies, had learned of this rule.

– Kennedy, a wiry fifty-nine-year-old who has a stern buzz cut, was in 1997 the principal of Sarasota High School.

Functions of Appositives

• Clarify a term– …an automaton, a machine, can be made to keep

a school so.– Yet in other genres—fiction and memoir—the

news is far more upsetting.• Smooth choppy writing.– Without the appositive• An automaton is a machine. The automaton can be

made to keep a school so.

Appositives - Punctuation• Usually, appositives are set off with punctuation

– No punctuation needed if the sentence cannot be understood without the appositive

• Punctuation Options– Commas

• Kennedy, a wiry fifty-nine-year-old who has a stern buzz cut, was in 1997 the principal of Sarasota High School.

– Dashes – add emphasis or clarity• In 1981, two professors…began following the lives of eighty-one high-school

valedictorians—forty-six women and thirty-five men from Illinois.– Colon – add emphasis or clarity

• We are given plenty of instruction about the specifics of writing: word choice, description, style.

Appositives - Position

• Before or after the noun?– Before: A wiry fifty-nine-year-old who has a stern

buzz cut, Daniel Kennedy was in 1997 the principal of Sarasota High School.• What effect does this move have on the sentence?

Appositive PracticeIdentify the appositive and the word or phrase it modifies• My father, a truly exceptional man, worked at an ordinary job

and was unknown outside of the small town where he lived.• The eruptions in the early part of our century—the time of

world wars and emergent modernity—were premonitions of a sort.

Application • Turn to page 171 in your books. Complete 1-5 in exercise 3.• Choose one of the sentences in exercise 5 on page 173.

Complete the exercise for that particular sentence following the directions listed.

Modifiers

• Describes, focuses, qualifies the nouns, pronouns, and verbs they modify– Adjective, phrase, clause

• Consider the following example. Where are the modifiers and what are their effect?– Sprawling and dull in class, he comes alive in the

halls and in the cafeteria.• Incorrectly or overusing modifiers can make

writing too wordy or unclear

Modifiers for Style

• Placement is important—what is the difference in effect here?– Physically awkward, she walks like a seal crossing a

beach, and is prone to drop her books and dither in terror when she stands before a handsome boy.

– When she stands before the handsome boy, physically awkward, she walks like a seal crossing a beach, and is prone to drop her books and dither in terror.

A Word of Caution

• Don’t use too many– The bright yellow compact car with the pun-laden, out-of-

state vanity plates was like beautiful, warm sunshine on the gray, dreary Tuesday afternoon.

• Don’t rely on adjectives over strong verbs– Elaine walked with a confident and quick stride.– Elaine strutted.

• Don’t add too many qualifiers (especially really and very)– Troy felt really sad.– Troy felt discouraged.

Modifiers Practice

• Complete Exercise 3 from page 794 according to the directions.

Short Simple Sentences and Fragments

• Simple Sentence – consists of one independent clause (S-V-complete thought)– Finally she tells me not to worry. – The emails and phone messages addressed to my former self

come from a distant race of people with exotic concerns and far too much time on their hands.

Can be short, but can also be quite long with compound subjects, verbs, and modifiers.• Fragment – incomplete sentence, missing subject, verb,

or both– Hurry, I urge my country. Before it’s too late.

Short Simple Sentences and Fragments - Style

• Short simple sentences can be effective in several situations– After several long sentences– As a summary of important ideas– As a transition between sentences or paragraphs

• Too many can make writing sound monotonous• Fragments should be used sparingly, but can be effective– To make a transition– To signal a conclusion– To emphasize a point

Short Sentences and Fragments - Practice

• Complete Exercise 3 on page 255 according to the directions.

Parallelism• Structures within sentences take the same form

– Words, phrases, and clauses• Words

– Why should we live with such a hurry and waste for life? • Phrases

– Men esteem truth remote, in the outskirts of the system, behind the farthest star, before Adam and after the last man.

• Clauses– If we are really dying, let us hear the rattle in our throats and feel the

cold in the extremities; if we are alive, let us go about our business. Parallelism creates a feeling of balance and can show that two or more ideas are of equal weight

When parallelism is broken…

• Consider the difference in the following sentence:– Why should we live with such a hurry and to waste

life?• What happens to the sentence when parallel

structure is broken?

Types of Parallelism• Anaphora: repetition of a word or phrase at the beginning of

successive clauses– Exercise builds stamina in young children; exercise builds stamina in

teenagers and adults; exercise builds stamina in older adults and senior citizens.

• Epistrophe: Repetition of the same group of words at the end of successive clauses.– To become a top-notch player, I thought like an athlete; I trained like an

athlete; I ate like an athlete. • Antithesis: the contrast of thoughts in two phrases, clauses, or

sentences– Freedom is never voluntary given by the oppressor; it must be demanded

by the oppressed.

Types of Parallelism, cont.

• Antimetabole: The repetition of words in one phrase or clause in the reverse order in the next phrase or clause– We do not ride on the railroad; it rides upon us.

• Zeugma: one part of speech (usually a verb) is related to another part of speech in a way that is consistent with grammar but incongruous with meaning.– Kill the boys and the luggage!

• Can make for an ironic or humorous effect.

Parallelism Practice

• Complete Exercise 1 on page 343.• Choose one option in Exercise 2 on page 343

and complete according to the directions. • Choose one option in Exercise 5 on page 343

and complete according to the directions.

Coordination in the Compound Sentence

• Coordination gives equal value and significance to two or more elements in a sentence.– Join words, phrases, and independent clauses

• Use coordination to join two independent clauses to create a compound sentence

• Creating compound sentences– Coordinating conjunctions(FANBOYS)– Correlative conjunction (not only…but also; either…or;

just as…so also)– Semicolon and conjunctive adverb

Effect of Coordination• Coordinating Conjunctions Combining Main Clauses

– Morbid curiosity is an occupational hazard for a writer, I suppose. I’ve never been bothered by it before.

– Morbid curiosity is an occupational hazard for a writer, I suppose, but I’ve never been bothered by it before.

• Semicolons Joining Main Clauses– Nature was then. This is Now– Nature was then; this is now.

• Semicolons and Conjunctive Adverbs Joining Main Clauses– Now he no longer let the dog go to the lighted tunnel at once. He put out the

light, and then kept the dog waiting a little while before he let him go.– Now he no longer let the dog go to the lighted tunnel at once; instead, he put

out the light, and then kept the dog waiting a little while before he let him go.

Coordination for Style

• Coordinating conjunctions smooth two shorter sentences

• Conjunctions specify the relationships between two ideas

• Semicolons can indicate a closer relationship than a period or conjunction

Starting With a Conjunction

• Beginning with a conjunction is acceptable and can be effective– Don’t overuse it

• Discuss the effect of this technique in the following example:– I feel very strongly that our present technological trends

drive us toward a decrease in the space—be it in the soundscape, the landscape, or the mindscape—in which the unplanned and the unplannable can happen. Yet silence has to remain available in the soundscape, the landscape, and the mindscape.

Polysyndeton and Asyndeton

These techniques influence pace, emphasis, and complexity.• Polysyndeton: the deliberate use of a series of

conjunctions– When you get to college you may study history and

psychology and literature and mathematics and botany. • Asyndeton: the deliberate omission of conjunctions– From his wealthy parents he received his wardrobe, his

car, his tuition, his vacation, his attitude.

Coordination Practice

• Choose one passage from Exercise 4 on pages 704-705.

• Analyze the use of coordination in the passage according the directions.

Subordination in the Complex Sentence

• Subordination: making the meaning of one clause dependent upon another clause– Uses a subordinating conjunction (ex: if, because,

when, although, etc.)• Complex Sentence: sentenced formed by an

independent clause and a dependent clause• Subordination tells how ideas in a complex

sentence are related

Subordination and Relationships• Contrast or Concession

– Conjunctions: although, even though, thought, while, whereas

– Ex: Although the book was not entirely free of the stereotypes of contemporary British colonial writing, it was in some ways remarkably advanced for its time.

• Cause and Effect or Reason– Conjunctions: because, since, so

that– Ex: Because neither island was

well suited to agriculture, the company in 1733 purchased St. Croix from France.

• Condition– Conjunctions: if, once, unless– Ex: I can think of no one objection

that will possible be raised against this proposal unless it should be urged that the number of people will be thereby much lessened in the kingdom.

• Time– Conjunctions: when, whenever,

after, before, as, once, since, while– Ex: I had committed myself to

doing it when I sent for the rifle.

Subordination for Style

• Which clause should be dependent?– Independent clause will carry the most force—use this

clause to add emphasis.• Where to put the subordinate clause?– How does the effect change in the second sentence?

• Though it was still August, the air had a lovely smell of October, football season, piles of yellow-red leaves, everything crisp and clean.

• The air already had the smell of October, football season, piles of yellow-red leaves, everything crisp and clean, though it was still August.

Subordination Practice

• Review passage #4 in Exercise 3 on 1005 and follow the directions given. In your journal, discuss how Thoreau uses subordination in this passage to inspire his reader. Consider not only what is subordinated, but where the subordinate clauses are placed and the relationships between subordinate and main clauses.

Cumulative, Periodic, and Inverted Sentences

• Cumulative (Loose) Sentence: begins with a standard sentence pattern and adds multiple details after it. These details accumulate at the end of the sentence.– The women moved through the streets as winged messengers, twirling

around each other in slow motion, peeking inside homes and watching the easy sleep of men and women.

• Periodic Sentence: Begins with multiple details and ends with the standard sentence pattern.– Often, after filling several notebooks with dozens of interviews, reading

several books, diving into all manner of research materials, and making research trips, when I sit down to write, I do so without looking at my notes at all.

• Inverted sentence: Verb comes before the subject– Everywhere was a shadow of death.

Unusual Patterns for Style• Unusual sentence patterns call attention to specific sentences

and ideas. • Use for emphasis, rhythm, tension, dramatic effect• Identify the pattern and consider the effect in the following

sentences.– In the woods, is perpetual youth.– It is a wilderness that is beautiful, dangerous, abundant, oblivious

of us, mysterious, never to be conquered or controlled or second-guessed, or known more than a little.

– Crossing a bare common, in snow puddles, at twilight, under a clouded sky, without having in my thoughts any occurrence of a special good fortune, I have enjoyed a perfect exhilaration.

Unusual Patterns Practice

• Complete Exercise 1 on pages 897-898 according to the directions.

• Choose one item from Exercise 5 on pages 899-900 and complete according to the directions.