GRAMMAR

Pronoun/antecedent clarity

Parallel structure

Pronouns and antecedents: clarity

Original: Lennie began traveling with George after his aunt died.

What is wrong with this sentence?

PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT CLARITY

Right: This is known as unclear pronoun/antecedent reference. We don’t know who “he” refers to: Is it

George’s aunt or Lennie’s aunt?

The fix: Lennie began traveling with George after Lennie’s aunt died.

PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT CLARITY

Original: Candy tells George he should have been the one to shoot his dog.

Oooh, we have lots of problems here. First, who does “he” refer to? Is Candy saying Candy should have been the one

to shoot the dog, or should George have been the one?

Second, who does “his” refer to? Is it Candy’s dog or George’s dog?

PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT CLARITY

A solution:

Candy says, “I ought to have shot that dog myself, George. I shouldn’t ought to of

let no stranger shoot my dog” (61).

This not only clears up what Candy is saying, but it also helps you use actual

words from the text to support your point, which is always a good thing.

PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT CLARITY

Identify the problem and fix it.

Original: This shows that George has to be the one to kill Lennie and not anyone

else.

PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT CLARITY

Nice work. You realized that the sentence sounds like George has to kill Lennie and not kill anyone else.

The fix: This shows that George has to be the one to kill Lennie. He cannot

allow anyone else to do it.

PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT CLARITY

Crooks walks to the doorway of the bunkhouse and tells Slim the tar for his mule’s foot is ready.Crooks walks to the doorway of the bunkhouse

and tells Slim the tar for the mule’s foot is ready.

The second after George shoots Lennie in the brush, he is immediately alone and lonely.

The second after he shoots Lennie in the brush, George is immediately alone and lonely.

PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT CLARITY

Also, the common loneliness of all protrudes when people find out that Lennie and George travel together and

react with surprise and secret jealousy.Also, common loneliness is evident when people react with jealousy and surprise upon discovering George and Lennie

travel together.When Lennie walks into the room one night when all the

other men are away, Crooks tells him how truly lonely and sad his life is.

When Lennie walks into the room one night when all the other men are away, Crooks reveals how truly lonely and sad

Crooks’ s life is.George leaves Lennie behind to play with his puppy.

George leaves Lennie behind to play with the puppy Slim gave Lennie.

PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT CLARITY

The one time someone comes to talk to Crooks, he is harsh toward him.

The one time someone comes to talk to him, Crooks is harsh toward his visitor.

All of the other men travel alone, so when George and Lennie arrive together, they are

very taken aback.All of the other men travel alone, so they are very taken aback when George and

Lennie arrive together.

PRONOUN/ANTECEDENT CLARITY

When we talk about parallel structure, we're dealing with a balancing act. The idea isn't too

hard, but most people don't think about it.

So what are we balancing? . . . pairs of words or series of words. Look at

the following:

PARALLEL STRUCTURE

Pairsa and ba or bSeries

a, b, and ca, b, or c

Think of the letters as standing for words or groups of words. Any words or groups of words that you plug in have to be the same kinds of words or word patterns. That's all there is to it! Let's see

how the "formula" works:

PARALLEL STRUCTURE

Pairs: running and jumping, bothered and bewildered, open or shut, laughing or crying (all are verbs)

Series: broken, bedraggled, and bone-tired (all are adjectives)an old shoe, a stuffed bear, and a chewed-up blanket (all are nouns,

modified by adjectives)

When you write your sentences using parallel structure, your ideas come across more clearly because they're easier to read. Compare the

following sentences:

Non-parallel structure: Peggotty's toys were an old shoe, a bear that was stuffed, and she had chewed up an old blanket.

Parallel structure: Peggotty's toys were an old shoe, a stuffed bear, and a chewed-up blanket.

See how the second sentence is smoother and more balanced? Adapted from “Big Dog’s Grammar” http://aliscot.com/bigdog/parallel.htm

PARALLEL STRUCTURE

Peggotty's toys were an old shoe, a stuffed bear, and a chewed-up

blanket.We have three groups of words that

are parallel in their construction: adjective/noun

old shoe, stuffed bear, chewed-up blanket.

PARALLEL STRUCTURE

ExamplesHe has a dog, a cat, and he also has a

parrot.He has a noun (dog), a noun (cat), and a

subject/verb (he has).I will run, walk, and I’m going to swim.

I will verb (run), verb (walk), and subject/verb. (I’m going).

PARALLEL STRUCTURE