goodbye to gobbledygook - · pdf file · 2010-10-12goodbye to gobbledygook a guide...

29
Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain English Into Practice Produced by CCEA | Multimedia | Editorial

Upload: lammien

Post on 09-Mar-2018

224 views

Category:

Documents


3 download

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

Goodbye toGobbledygookA Guide To Putting Plain English Into Practice

Produced byCCEA | Multimedia | Editorial

Page 2: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

dummy text for printerncsdhnjndnvjvdnjksnjkvfnvj

CONTENTSIntroduction 2

Plain English in Practice 5

Layout and Style 16

Writing Emails 17

Now You Try! 18

Appendix 1: Everyday English Preferences 22

‘Now You Try!’ Suggested Answers 26

Goodbye to GobbledygookA Guide To Putting PlainEnglish Into Practice

Page 3: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

2

INTRODUCTION

Clear communication is essential to good business.

Every day, we produce emails, letters, reports, contracts, promotional items,

educational materials and more in vast quantities. Those that go to current and

prospective customers, partners and the world at large are the most important, as

we are judged by these.

Documents that are long-winded, unclear or require too much of the reader’s

efforts damage our reputation and ultimately lose us business and respect. On the

other hand, writing that is succinct, informative, well organised and uses everyday

language strengthens our reputation and ensures that our readers understand us.

This guide offers simple instructions on how to write clearly, informatively and

concisely using Plain English methods.

Page 4: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

3

What is Plain English?

Plain English is a communication style that focuses on writing clearly and concisely with the audience in mind at all times. The Plain English Campaign defines it aswriting that:

‘the intended audience can read, understand and act upon the first time they read it.’

Plain English also applies to the design and layout of your documents. For example, documents designed in Plain English:• presenttextineasy-to-readfonts,pointsizesandcolours;• provideclearnavigationthroughoutthedocument;• includedescriptiveheadings;• useartworkthatrelatestoandenhancesthetextratherthandazzlesthereader;

and• donotlayertextoverartistictreatmentsifdoingsomakestextdifficulttoread.

Benefits and Successes

Plain English benefits both the reader and the writer because:• it’sfastertowrite;• it’sfastertoread;• itmakesinformationeasiertounderstandandacton;and• itgetstheintendedmessageacrosstothereadersimply,effectivelyandina

friendly manner.

Readerspreferinformationandinstructionstheycanunderstandquicklyandeasily.This does not mean that we dumb down our communication. Rather, it means we write smarter to create documents that are clear and meet our readers’ needs.And there’s research to support this approach. For example, a study conducted in theUSaskedpeopletoreadtwowritingsamples:

• adocumentwritteninPlainEnglishfromAmazon.com;and• adocumentwrittenbyaninformationtechnologyresearchfirm,which

wasfilledwithbusinessspeak.

Page 5: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

4

Participantswereaskedtoattributecommonpersonalitytraitstoeachsample.

The results? People went out of their way to say negative things about the researchfirm’s document, describing the writer as obnoxious, rude, unreliable and stubborn.ThewriteroftheAmazon.comdocument,ontheotherhand,wasdescribedaslikableandtrustworthy.

Many UK companies and government bodies have adopted a Plain English style. These have not only improved customer satisfaction with their documents, but they’ve also experienced improvements in real business terms. Three of thesesuccess stories are described below:

• RoyalMail*Before the Royal Mail redesigned its ‘Redirection of Mail’ form, it had an 87percent error rate. Customers did not fill it in correctly, and Royal Mail wasspendingover£10,000aweektodealwithcomplaintsandtoreprocesstheincorrect forms. The new form (written and designed in Plain English) reduced the error rate dramatically, saving Royal Mail £500,000 over the next nine months.

• BritishTelecom(BT)*When BT produced a clearer bill in Plain English, it received around 25 percent fewer enquiries each quarter. Customers also paid their bills more promptly, improving cash flow and reducing the cost of collecting overdue bills. Before the change, BT was receiving one million bill enquiries a year.

• UKCentralGovernmentforms*In one of the earliest Plain English initiatives (1983), the UK Government began a major review of its forms. By 1985 it had: •scrapped15,700forms; •improved21,300forms;and •reviewedanother46,900.At the end of the initiative, the Government estimated that it had saved about £9millioninprintingandstoragecosts.Timeandefficiencysavingswerealsodocumented. For example, changes to a duty-free form at the Department of Customs and Excise reduced the form’s error rate from 55 percent to 3 percent and saved the department £33,000 per year in staff time. The changes also saved passengers 7,500 hours in customs-related travel delays.

*(source: ‘Writing for Dollars, Writing to Please’ - Joseph Kimble, The Scribes Journal of Legal Writing, vol 6, 1996-1997.)

Page 6: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

5

Plain English in PracticePlain English writing has clarity, impact and accuracy. And when writing in this style, your main goal should always be to inform, not to impress.

Ifyouimagineyouaretalkingtothereader,andfollowtheguidelinesbelow,then you should be able to write in a clear and helpful manner.

General guidelines

Try to apply these 10 Plain English practices every time you write:

1. WriteforYourAudience

2. ShortenSentences

3. GiveInstructions

4. UsetheActiveVoice

5. UseLists

6. BeConcise

7. Avoidjargon

8. UsePositiveLanguage

9. UseEverydayEnglish

10. Use‘You’,‘We’and‘I’

Page 7: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

6

1. Write for Your Audience

Identifying your audience is the first and most important step in ensuring that your documentisunderstandable.Whenyouknowwhoyouarespeakingto,youcanselect language, formats and information to suit them.

Createaprofileofyouraudiencebyaskingyourselfthefollowingquestions:

• Whoisyourdocumentaimedat?

• Istheremorethanoneaudience:teachersasasinglegroupormultipleuserssuch as teachers, students and parents?

• Whataretheirdemographics–age,levelofeducationandexperiencewiththetopic? If they vary dramatically, you should write so that even your youngest, least educated and least experienced readers will understand you.

• Howfamiliararetheywithterminologyandjargonyouplantouseinyourdocument, be it educational, financial or business terminology? Do you need to simplify these terms so your audience will understand them?

• Whatconceptscanyousafelyassumetheyunderstandandwhichonesmustyou explain to them?

• Whatinformationdoesyouraudiencealreadyhave?Don’twastetimeandspacetellingthemwhattheyalreadyknow.Focusontheintendedmessage.

• Howwilltheyreadthedocument?Willtheyreaditstraightthroughorskiptothesectionsthatinterestthem?Iftheywillskiparound(likebetweenwebpages),thensectionsneedtomakesenseinisolation.Conceptsexplainedin previous sections will need to be explained again, acronyms and specialist terminology will need to be redefined, etc. If they will read it straight through, then concepts can build on each other and terms will not need to be redefined each time.

• Whatinformationwilltheybelookingfor?Isiteasytofind?Isitpresentedinthemostsuitableformatforthem–textvs.tablesvs.illustrations?

Onceyou’vecreatedaprofileofyouraudience(s),keepitconstantlyinmindasyoubegin to write or rewrite your document.

Page 8: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

7

Examples

2. Shorten Sentences

Clear writing averages 15 to 20 words per sentence. Use punchy short sentences alongwithlongeronesforvariety.Somequickandeasywaystoshortensentencesare:

• tobreakoneverylongsentenceintotwoshortersentences;

• removeinformationtheaudiencealreadyknowsorthatisobvious;

• reducewordinessby: -usingsimplerwordsandphrases;and - removing words that duplicate meaning or have very similar meaning (for example ‘compare and contrast’, ‘new and innovative’, ‘fun and enjoyable’, etc.)

Original: The consensus of opinion was that John was wrong.

Shortened: The consensus was that John was wrong. OR Everyone felt John was wrong.

Original: An essential element of this qualification is the opportunity it provides to develop candidates’ self-awareness, and CCEA firmly believes that performers should be able to critically examine their workinorderthattheycanimprove.(35words)

Shortened: An essential element of this qualification is the opportunity it provides to develop candidates’ self-awareness. CCEA firmly believes that performers should be able to critically examinetheirworkinorderthattheycanimprove. (15 words and 20 words)

Original: Janetexpressedherwillingnesstodominortinkeringwiththe contract offer.

Shortened: Janetagreedtotinkerwiththecontract.

Page 9: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

8

3. Give Instructions

Usecommandswhenwritinginstructions.Usingwordslike‘may’,‘might’,‘should’,and ‘could’ might sound more polite, but they cause uncertainty and suggest the readerhasanotheroptionopentothem.Theycanalsomakeyouappearunsureabout the information you are providing. So be direct.

Optional: Applications should be returned by May 5.

Instructional: Please return your application by May 5.

Optional: You may want to hold a discussion session after the activity so students can reflect on what they’ve learned.

Instructional: Holdadiscussionsessionaftertheactivitysostudentscanreflect on what they’ve learned. OR Havestudentsdiscusswhatthey’velearnedintheactivity.

Examples

Test your document on a sample ofintended readers, when possible. This will help you see how easily they can understand,retrieve, and use the information.

TOPTIP

Page 10: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

9

Examples

To help you identify the passive verbs in the sentences below, the ‘to be’ verbappears in green and the past participle is written in blue.

Passive: It will be signed by the manager.Active: The manager will sign it

Passive: Your complaint has been investigated.Active: We investigated your complaint.

4. Use the Active Voice

Theactivevoicemakessentencesmoredirect,livelierandeasiertounderstand.Italsohelpskeepsentencesshort.Usingthepassivevoicetoomuchcanmakewritinglong-winded,soundimpersonalandmakeitlooklikeyouaretryingtohidebehindyour words.

Theactivevoiceusesactiveverbs.Thepassivevoiceusespassiveverbs.Howcanyoutell an active verb from a passive verb? It’s pretty easy.

In active sentences, someone or something performs the action.In passive sentences, someone or something is acted upon.

To create sentences in the active voice:

• keepsubjectsandactionsclosetogether(‘Janesaid’,‘Davidinstructed’);• placethesubjectanditsactionnearthebeginningofthesentence;and• spotandchangepassivesentences. Toidentifypassivesentences,lookfortheuseofpassiveverbs.

Passive verbs have two parts: • partoftheverb‘tobe’(is,was,willbe,am,has,are,etc.);and• apastparticiple(made,decided,chosen,given).Oftenpastparticiplesendin‘ed’

or ‘en’.

Passive sentences also often use ‘by’ to introduce the doer at the end of the sentence (‘It was written by Kevin.’).

Page 11: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

10

Examples

5. Use Lists

Listsbreakdowncomplexinformationintomanageablechunks.Theycanalsoimprovehowvisuallydenseapagelooks.Non-dense,manageablechunksaremoreappealingandeasiertoread.Readerslikeeasy.

Use numbered lists when order is important, otherwise use bulleted lists. Also, always have at least two points in a list. A bulleted or numbered list with only one point is not actually a list.

No list: When changing a flat tyre, you should first position the car on a level sectionofroad.Next,loosenthelugnutsusingawrench.Jackupthecar and remove the lug nuts with your fingers (setting them aside in a safe place so you don’t lose any), then remove the flat tyre and mount the spare tyre. Now replace the lug nuts, screwing them on with your fingers.Lowerthejacksothetyrejustrestsonthegroundandthenuse the wrench to completely tighten the lug nuts. Finally, lower the carcompletelyandremovethejack.

List: When changing a flat tyre, follow these steps:

1. Position the car on a level section of road. 2. Loosen the lug nuts using a wrench. 3.Jackupthecar. 4. Remove the lug nuts using your fingers (setting them aside somewhere safe so you don’t lose any). 5. Remove the flat tyre. 6. Mount the spare tyre. 7. Replace the lug nuts, screwing them on with your fingers. 8.Lowerthejacksothetyrejustrestsontheground. 9. Tighten the lug nuts completely using the wrench. 10.Lower the car completely. 11.Removethejack.

Nolist: ThereareallkindsofthingstoseeanddowhenvisitingIthaca,NY, includingdownhillandcross-countryskiing,winerytours,naturehikes throughthewaterfallsandgorges,adinnerboatsailonCayugaLake,and shopping in the town’s pedestrian district.

Page 12: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

11

List: ThereareallkindsofthingstoseeanddowhenvisitingIthaca, NY, including: •downhillandcross-countryskiing; •winerytours; •naturehikesthroughthewaterfallsandgorges; •adinnerboatsailonCayugaLake;and •shoppinginthetown’spedestriandistrict.

6. Be concise

Readersappreciatewritingthatgetstothepointquicklyandstickstotheessentials.It shows that you are both well informed and value the reader’s time.

Whenyougetamonthlybill,forexample,youwanttoknowquicklywhatyouowe and by when, not riffle through a long list of offers from partner companies or detailsonregulatorychanges.Likewise,ifyouarewritinganewhealthandsafetypolicy for your area, it should explain the policy and what your staff must do to comply, not the legislation behind the policy.

Sotokeepyourdocumentsconcise:

•makeyourpointquickly;

•writeintroductionsthatcoverthewho,what,when,were,whyandhow of your topic to interest readers immediately and encourage them to continue;

•sticktotheessentialsinthedocument’sbody–don’tpaditwith unnecessary, off-topic information.

Page 13: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

12

Examples

7. Avoid Jargon

Jargoniswordsorexpressionsusedbyaparticulargroupthataredifficultforothers to understand. Today jargon is so widespread in the education and corporate sectors that it’s easy to use it in our writing without even realising (for example, ‘downsize’,‘drilldown’,‘valueadded’,‘low-attainers’,‘richcurriculum’,etc.).However,language that is clear to colleagues is not always appropriate for reading audiences. Therefore:

• Onlyusejargonifyouarecertainthatyourreaderswillunderstandit. Andeventhen,askyourselfifasimplertermwoulddothejobjustaswell. Readers will not criticise you for using simple and commonly understood words.

• Explaintechnicaltermstoanon-technicalaudienceand,whennecessary, provide a glossary.

• Avoidabbreviations–forexample,PRP,DTP,AEA,BPI–noteveryonewillundestand them.

• Explainacronymsbyalwayswritingtheminfullthefirsttimeyourefertoitfollowedbytheacronymplacedinbrackets(forexample,‘TheNorthernIrelandCouncil for the Curriculum, Examinations and Assessment (CCEA) will close early on Friday.’).

With jargon: Stephen was having trouble with his computer’s output device.

Without jargon: Stephen was having trouble with his printer.

Withjargon: Studentsinthiscoursetakepartincooperativelearning.

Without jargon: Students in this course complete assignments in groups, which are made up of students with different ability levels.

*In the last example, the Plain English sentence is actually longer than the original. However,itisalsoclearerbecauseitexplainsanunfamiliarterm.Lengtheninga

sentence is fine as long as it improves clarity for the reader.

Page 14: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

13

Examples

8. Use Positive Language

Takeapositiveapproachinthewayyoucommunicatewithreaders.Textpepperedwith ‘don’t’, ‘can’t’, and ‘won’t’ is very assertive and domineering, can be perceived asunhelpful,andcanmakereadersfeellikeyouarehavingagoatthem.Instead,explain what can and will be done.

Negative: Expense forms that are turned in late will not be processed until the following pay period.

Positive: Returning expense forms on time will ensure that you are repaid promptly.

Negative: This trip will not cost employees any money.

Positive: This trip is free to employees.

Remember to always proofread andrevise everything you write. In fact, someexperts suggest you spend as much timeediting as you spent writing.

TOPTIP

Page 15: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

Examples

9. Use Everyday English

Chooseeverydaywordswheneverpossible.You’llbeamazedathowwelltheycandescribe even the most complex topics without changing their meaning.

Remember that your goal is to inform your reader, not to impress them. And if you must impress, impress readers with what you say, not how you say it.

In Appendix 1, we’ve provided a list of the most commonly used puffed-up words and wordy phrases along with their simpler and more familiar counterparts. In your writing:

• choosethesimpleroptionasmuchaspossible;

• avoidlegalisticandpompouswords–theyareoftenmisunderstoodandmakeyourwritingstiff;

• writelikeyouwouldtalktoyourreadersinperson–it’llmakeyourstylemorewarm,personalandconversational;and

• swapforeignwordsandphrasesforEnglishequivalents(forexample,‘proforma’,‘non sequitur’, ‘raison d’etre’).

Complex: Remittance will be made once the department is in receipt of your requisite particulars.

Everyday: We’ll pay you when we receive your personal details.

Complex: Prior to commencement, afford me the opportunity to offer you an array of beverages.

Everyday: Beforewebegin,wouldyoulikesomethingtodrink?

14

Page 16: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

15

Examples

Readyourtextoutloud–Over-formal words will immediately stand out.

TOPTIP

10. Use ‘You’, ‘We’ and ‘I’

Ratherthanusingofficialsounding,impersonallanguage,it’sbettertoaddressthe reader as ‘you’ and refer to yourself or your company informally as ‘we’ or ‘I’. You wouldn’t call someone across the table from you ‘the applicant’ or ‘the teacher’, so don’t do it in your writing.

Formal: The Assignor assigns to the Council all his or her present and future rights.

Informal: You assign us all your present and future rights.

Page 17: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

16

Layout and StylePlain English guidelines on layout and style apply to all types of documents. Considerthefollowingpointswhenkeyingyourdocument:

•Fonts–usesansseriffontssuchasArialorHelveticawithaminimumpointsize of10.ForCCEAwork,useArial.

•Useofspace–rememberthatpagesthataretoodensewithwordsarehard to read. Are there better ways to present your information than in paragraph

blocks?Lists?Questionsandanswers?Flowcharts?Diagrams?

Also, white space is a very effective way to frame headings.

•Headings–ensuretheyarebothdescriptiveandorderedinalogicalwayso readers can easily navigate the document.

•Emphasis–avoidusingunderlineandallcapitals(whichreadslikeyouare SHOUTING).Useitalicsforwordemphasis,notwholeparagraphs,anddon’t air-quote words in print. Remember, if you emphasise too much, nothing will be emphasised!

•Paragraphs–trytosticktooneissueperparagraph.Shortsectionslookeasier to read, which draws readers in. And addressing one issue per paragraph will helpkeepyourdocumentbetterorganised,whichinturnwillimprove readers’ retention of your information.

•TableofContents–themoredetailed,theeasieritisforthereadertolocate and identify sections.

•Lists–usestep-by-steplistswhenwritingproceduresorprocesses.Whenorder is important use numbers, otherwise use bullets.

Page 18: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

17

Writing emailsAs emails are normally less formal than other forms of written communication, it iseasiertokeeptoeverydayEnglish.However,thisdoesnotmeanabandoningtheusual rules of grammar and clear communication.

ThePlainEnglishguidelinesinthisbookletstillapplywhenwritingemails,buthereare some further suggestions:

1. Keep emails short and to the point.

2.Usetheappropriatelanguageforyouraudience–forexample,foraUK audience,writeinUKEnglish;foraUSaudience,writeinUSEnglish.

3. Beconsistentwith‘new’wordssuchas:email,e-mailorE-mail;internet or Internet and so on. (CCEA prefers the following: email, internet, website, online, download, upload, the web.)

4. Sign off with as little formality as possible. For example, use ‘regards’ or ‘best wishes’ instead of ‘sincerely’ or ‘yours faithfully’.

5. Do not use personal quotations or excessive colour schemes for email signatures.Thislooksunprofessionalandevenpretentious.

Write to inform, not to impress!TOPTIP

Page 19: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

18

Now You Try! NowthatyouknowtheprinciplesofPlainEnglish,trytoapplywhatyou’velearnedto the sentences below.

Suggested answers are available on Page 26.

Shorten Sentences

1. Amandasaidthevolumeofnoisecausedbytheoperationofthetruck keptherawakeduringthenighttime.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

2. Inviewofthefactthatyourreaderisbusy,Iwouldsuggestthatyoumake every effort to be as brief as humanly possible.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

Page 20: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

19

Active Voice

3. The exam was failed by over one-third of the students.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

4. The village has been scorched by the dragon’s fiery breath.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

Avoid Jargon

5. WhatistheETAfortherenovationwork? ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

6. Academic institutions must fulfil their duty of care to candidates.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

Page 21: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

20

Give Instructions

7. You could select appropriate questions from those listed below to focus the pupils as you circulate.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

8. Yourdoctor’ssicklineshouldbeforwardedtoyourlinemanager.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

Use Positive Language

9. Long,ambiguouswritingfullofover-sized,unfamiliarwordswillresultin dissatisfied and poorly informed readers.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

Page 22: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

21

10. This qualification is certain to challenge even the dullest of minds.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

Use Everyday English

11. The organisation is fully committed to the fulfilment of its legislative obligations.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

12. The relevant comments, which you have made in respect of the case under review, have been carefully considered.

___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________ ___________________________________________

Page 23: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

22

APPENDIX 1: Everyday English Preferences

InsteadOf Try

accordingly so, thereforeaddress discussadjacent to next toadvantageous helpfuladvise recommend, tellafford an opportunity allow, letalleviate ease, reduce, lessena number of someapplicant youascertain find out, learn, discover, understandattempt tryat the present time at present, nowby means of by, withcaveat warningclose proximity nearcommence begin, startcomply with followcomponent partcomprise form,include,makeupconsequently socurrently nowdeem believe,consider,thinkdemonstrate prove, showdetermine decide, figure, finddiscontinue stop, cancel, enddisseminate give, issue, pass, senddue to the fact that due to, sinceduring the period duringeffectmodifications makechanges

e.g. for example

Page 24: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

InsteadOf Try employ useendeavour tryequitable fairestablish set up, prove, showevidenced showed, shownevident clearexhibit showfacilitate ease, helpfailed to didn’tfinalise complete, finishfrequently oftenherein hereheretofore until nowherewith below, herehowever buti.e. in other wordsimplement carry out, startin accordance with by, following, per, underin addition also, besides, tooin an effort to toin a timely manner on time, promptlyin excess of more than, overin order that for, soin receipt of have, get, receivein respect of about, forin lieu of instead, rather thanin order that for, soin the amount of forin the event of ifinasmuch as sinceinception startincumbent upon must

23 24

Page 25: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

23 24

InsteadOf Try indicate show, write downindication signinitiate start, beginis applicable to applies tois required to mustit appears seemsit is essential must, needmagnitude sizemethodology methodminimise decrease, reducemodify changenecessitate cause, neednot later than bynotwithstanding inspite of, stillnumerous manyobjective aim, goalobserve seeoptimum best, greatest, mostparameters limitsparticulars details, factspersons people, thempertaining to about, of, onpracticable practicalpreclude preventpreviously beforeprior to beforeproceed go ahead, try, proficiency skillproforma / pro forma formpromulgate issue, publishpurchase buy

Page 26: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

25

InsteadOf Try regarding about, of, onremittance payment, payremuneration payment, payrender give,makeselection choicesolicit askfor,requeststate-of-the-art lateststatutory by law, legalsubmit give, sendsubsequent later, nextsubsequently after, later, thensufficient enoughterminate end, stoptherefore sotherein therethereof its, theirthe undersigned Itransmit sendunder the provisions of underuntil such time as untilutilise / utilisation usevalidate confirmviable practical,workablewarrant call for, permitwhereas because, sincewith reference to aboutwith the exception of except forwitnessed saw

Page 27: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

‘Now You Try!’ Suggested AnswersWith editing, there are often no definitive right and wrong answers. Rather, there are many different ways to better a sentence or document. These are simply suggested improvements.

Shorten Sentences 1.Amandasaidthetruck’snoisekeptherawakeatnight.

2. Because your reader is busy, I suggest that you try to be brief.

Active Voice 3. Over one-third of the students failed the exam.

4. The dragon’s fiery breath scorched the village.

Avoid Jargon 5. When do you expect the renovations to be complete?

6.Schoolsmustworktokeepstudentssafe.

Give Instructions 7. Select questions from the list below to focus the pupils as you circulate.

8.Forwardyousicklinetoyourlinemanager.

Use Positive Language 9. Clear and concise writing that uses familiar language will result in happy, well-informed readers.

10. This qualification challenges even the most able intellects.

Use Everyday English 11. We are dedicated to meeting our legal responsibilities.

12. We’ve thought carefully about your comments about the case.

26

Page 28: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

Notes

Page 29: Goodbye to Gobbledygook - · PDF file · 2010-10-12Goodbye to Gobbledygook A Guide To Putting Plain ... Documents that are long-winded, ... - removing words that duplicate meaning

Plain English is not:

• Over-simplifiedwriting. Yourworkdoesnotneedtoreadlike‘SeeJanerun.RunJanerun.’PlainEnglish strives for simple as in uncumbersome, not simple as in patronising.

• Intendedtoshortensentencesanddocumentssomuchthatitchanges yourmeaning. There are many extremely long Plain English documents, but they all convey theirmessagesasclearlyandasquicklyasthetopicallows.

• Aboutforbiddinguseofspecialisedterminologyorlongwords. Subjectterminologyhasitsplacewhenitsuitstheaudience’sknowledge.Anda long word can sometimes be more precise than its shorter counterpart.

• Foramateurs. Many successful and esteemed writers, journalists, and businesspeople have longusedthePlainEnglishapproach.Theyknowit’sthesurestwaytogivetheir message impact.