God’s leading A key to knowing whom you can get married

too.

Segun, right from his youth made a commitment with the Lord. He has always been a committed Christian ever since; he attends the services of his local assembly regularly, he was also a minister there and he has occupied different positions. His faithfulness to God and to his local assembly, the Pastoral board nominated him as the first youth pastor of the church. Segun had a knowing that someday he the Lord was going to use him as a missionary in Sudan, and he prepared himself by attending missionary school for his call.

Segun got admitted into the university to study law, it was not long that he joined one of the campus fellowships that he was made one of its executive members, because of the zeal which he went about the things of God made him one of the executive members. Despite his tight schedule as a executive member in the fellowship he attends, yet his academics didn’t suffer because he was one of the best students in his class.

In his final year, Segun began to pray to the Lord concerning his marital future. He prayed and fasted, believing that the Lord will reveal his will in that area to him. Known for his commitment for the things of God, many ladies both within and outside the fellowship kept flocking around him. In the period when he gave himself to prayer and fasting on the issue, he had a leading in which he saw the number of a room in the university hostel and heard the name of a lady (Lola). The following day, he visited the female hostel, located the room number and found a lady bearing the name of the lady he had in his dream. One interesting thing about his finding is that she was a lady that he had always admired from a far but never got close to because she was not a committed Christian and she didn’t have a good reputation on campus. After a while of intimating himself with her, he proposed and she gave her consent to it.

The brethren tried to make Segun see reasons why his choice of a partner was not appropriate, but he will not just reason will them. His words were that who should he obey, them or God who lead him into the relationship. Due to the opposition from the members of the fellowship, he began to miss services, and started avoiding anyone that will not see reasons with him. Even Segun’s mum expressed her feeling to her son; telling him she feels uncomfortable with his relationship with Lola; he however waved her opinion aside on the ground that it was God’s choice that he marries her.

Three years into the relationship, Segun now a graduate and was doing quite well in his profession asked Lola to get married to him (she was also a graduate doing well in her profession), two months later they were married quietly in a registry. They looked like the perfect couple, both were doing well in their profession, always seen hand in hand smiling and they were blessed with two lovely children. These continued until Segun knew that it was God’s time to answer to the call to the missions that He had being preparing for him for. Lola completely opposed the idea of going for a missionary work especially in a country like Sudan which is known for the many crisis going on there. She bluntly told Segun to choose between her and his calling; he chose her and the children. Today, though they are still married Segun feels so unfulfilled despite doing well in his profession and it is beginning to tell on the relationship between him and his family. He is now moody, sad, and full of regret for choice of a partner. He has however, one person to blame for his wrong choice and that is God, who led him into the relationship.

I guess you are familiar with this kind of story. If you look around you, you will find couples like Segun who blame God for the choices they made. However, if they had been sensitive, they would have known that it was not God leading them in the relationship they are in, but they allowed themselves to be deceived because they didn’t know how the Lord really guide his people.

Why knowing God’s leading is necessary in finding the right partner-

To avoid deception- One of the ways that the Devil will attack you is to try to get you into a wrong relationship. Some couples after marriage discover that who their partner really was, was not who they portrayed themselves to be before marriage. Jesus made the profound statement by saying, his disciple should take heed least they should be deceived.

One of the mistakes you can make in life is to believe that you can’t be deceived. You can be deceived and you will be deceived in the area of relationship if you do not know how the Lord leads. Some of what people call God’s leading is really spooky if you listen to them.

To know the unique way God deals with you- When you hear some people talk about how the Lord leads them, there is a tendency that you will want the same pattern of leading. However, the Lord does not deal with us in the same way. You are a unique individual, and He knows the best way to reach you.

Uniqueness here does not mean strange, it means similar way of getting through to others but in a different pattern.

Some of the ways that the Lord leads His own…. The word of God-

The Bible is one of the most printed books on the face of the earth. It is considered one of the most controversial books that everything has been down to destroy it but is still highly circulated up to today. Unfortunately many of God’s children don’t read it until they come to church on Sunday church service programmes. Reading it and getting understanding from it is one of the ways that you can discern whether other leadings are from God or not.

When you read it, you must believe that the Lord is speaking to you from the pages of the book. However, in the course of reading it, or during a period of need, He speaks to some by revealing a deeper meaning to the reader on what he/she is reading, to some a verse suddenly stands out of other verse, to some a verse of the scripture is giving to a person, to some a verse of the Scripture drops on the heart of the person, etc.

Permit me to say that the Bible is God’s conclusive opinion on any issue of life. If God’s word said you shouldn’t be unequally yoke with an unbeliever, He will not approve of your getting married to one even if other leadings appear to say so.

The witness of the Holy Spirit-The Scriptures said that the Holy Spirit witness in our hearts that we are the children of God, He also witness in our heart on other issues of life as God’s children. To some He speaks audibly, to some He grants peace when the right decisions are made and discomfort when a wrong one is made and he/she is about to be followed it, to some it gives a confirmation of whether what a person says is of God or not, etc.

When it comes to the issue of finding a partner, the Holy Spirit can specifically direct you to a person, or He can put in your heart a likeness that you will naturally not have for an individual, or He can give you peace over the decision of the relationship you want to go into as His approval or discomfort as His disapproval, etc.

The ministry of the Holy Spirit is important in the life of a child of God because of the deception of the devil. God’s will is that you will not be deceived into getting married outside His will and this

cannot be achieved without the help of the Spirit. There is a need for you to develop relationship with the Holy Spirit because He is your Guide and when you walk with Him, you are sure to get your desire of a right partner.

Premonition-If you meet anyone that is having serious challenges in his/her marriage or is divorced he/she if being honest will tell you at a point in the relationship they felt uncomfortable with moving forward with it. For no reason, they feel uncomfortable with the person they are dating yet they went ahead with the marriage ceremony.

God created man with an instinct that prompts him to sense evil before one confronts it. If you think of the past, you will discover that some of the mistakes you made, you had feeling that something was going to go wrong despite the fact that all seems well. I heard the story of a lady that was dating a guy; she had the approval of her Pastor for the relationship. However, she felt that something was not just right. She couldn’t put a finger to it because everything was going all well in her relationship. When she began to pray over the issue, God help her to come in contact with proves that the same guy drinks, smokes and womanizes.

Never ignore this premonition when you have one in the relationship you are in, God may be saving you from an impending danger if you get married to that individual.

Men of God-God can lead you into making a decision of whom to get married to, through leadings from His servants. They are invaluable when it comes to understanding the will of God on the issues of life. Samuel will not have known that it was the Lord speaking to him if not for Prophet Eli; there are times that the leading of the Lord you receive may not make meaning to you because of your maturity in the things of God, you need a man of God that is discerning to aid you in coming into understanding of this.

Some of this people are gifted in the prophetic; God opens their heart to see some spectrum of the future or an impending danger in the decision you might want to make. Some when they minister the word with the unction of the Spirit, you know that God is speaking to you on the need in your life, etc.

I personally believe in the role of the Pastor in-charge of the denomination you attend; they must not be despised, nor pushed to the bottom when it comes to making vital decisions in your life, and one of which is on whom to get married too. Many singles bring their suitors to their pastor at a time when it is almost too late to let them know what the Lord may say to them (their pastors) concerning the relationship, and many a time they come with the line that it is God’s will. This is wrong: let your pastor know about the relationship before you even start talking of getting married.

Your parents-If have being use to disobeying your parents, then you have missed out in one of the ways God leads His own. Even when your parents are not believers, God can use them to direct you when there is going to be an impending danger in the relationship that you want to take to the phase of marriage.

God uses them because they are concern about your well being; they are consciously/unconsciously sensitive to anything that you are involved in. It is therefore imperative that you note your parents' opinion about your intended, especially if they are born again. The feeling called love can have a blinding effect on people who are stricken by it and the feeling might have the better of one. You need a person who is not biased in vital issues of our life. Your parents to some extent can play that role, they may see some of the things that you do not see; they may not be emotionally carried away as you will be. Pastor Bimbo Odukoya said, ‘No matter how illiterate and old fashion your parents are when it comes to marriage you need their consent.’

By asking and answering questions truthfully-If you sit down and ask yourself some honest questions, and respond to them truthfully, then note that it is one of the ways that the Lord leads His own. Question such as, what is my motive for getting into this relationship? Is he/she saved? (I didn’t ask if he/she goes to church. Though going to church is good, you should however, know that it is not all the people that attends church services and programmes are child of God.) Do I respect this person? Will I be faithful to this person till death do us part? Can I stand the person he/she call friends? Can this person support me to fulfill God’s purpose for my life? (Isaac Digi said, ‘If you are a young lady, for instance, and you are asking me how to know a man I want to marry, I will say, look, ask the man, what is your vision in life? This because

where ever you are going or whatever your vision is, is where you are taking me. I may not want to go there.’ How do I view his/her parents? Etc.

Your truthful answer to this question will guide you in the decision you make. I know a lady who was interested in a guy and really want to date him. She however, asked herself the motive for the interest she has, she concluded that her feeling was based on the ability of the guy to play piano and her love for music. She concluded that if anything goes wrong with his fingers, nothing else about him will appeal to her.

By revelation-Revelation may take the form of dreams, visions, etc. the Father can speak to you in matters relating to your life and that of others through this medium. Usually He speaks to people in their dreams when they are either not sensitive to His leadings due to worries, the activities of the day, etc.

The Porter and the Baker were too engrossed with the worries of being locked up in prison by the king that the way that God could reveal the future event of their lives to them is through dreams.

Joseph want to privately put marry away when he discovered that she was pregnant; I guess that Mary tried explaining the visitation of angel Gabriel to him and it must sound ridiculous to him. Though he new that she was a chaste woman, yet it was difficult for him to believe that her pregnancy was God’s act. To publicly announce it, will mean Mary would be stoned to death for adultery, in order to avoid this he decided to do it privately. In a dream an angel appeared to him with news from the Lord which made him to change his mind.

God can reveal who His will for your life will be for marriage through your dreams. It is one of the medium that God has been using to pass this message to His own so that they will not miss His will for their lives.

Someone said, ‘Want to make God laugh? Tell Him you’ve got plans.’ In this booklet Olufemi Fasanya wrote some of the ways that you can know that the relationship you are in/will be in is the Lord’s will for your life.

This booklet contains…

A story that you can relate with. Why knowing God’s leading is necessary in finding the right

partner. Some of the ways that the Lord leads His own. Quotes from, Pastor Bimbo Odukoya and Isaac Digi.