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i can better control my sexual desires.”

DURRELL MILANBQ Runway Diva

spotlight stories

spotlight stories

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DURRELL MILANHey, dolls. It’s me again, Durrell. For y’all who don’t know me, I’m one of the top BQ runway divas in both the main and Kiki scenes. I think people respect me because of my authenticity and the fact that I am open and honest about my life experiences. I remember people telling me how they related to the story I shared in a previous Spotlight Story about me contracting gonorrhea. Hearing how that story inspired people to get tested not only for gonorrhea but HIV and other STIs made me feel like opening up was a good decision. I felt like people viewed me as someone who they could admire for my ballroom talent and also for my honesty.

After the release of the story, I changed my sexual behavior for a period of time. However, I ended up slowly going back to my old ways. I would have condomless sex here and there and sometimes with people I hooked up with on dating sites. I guess the saying “history repeats itself ” is true because I once again caught gonorrhea. I was so mad at myself and fell into a slight depression because I felt like I had not only let myself down but all the people that had looked up to me, too. I came to understand that changing your behavior is not always easy. At first it may seem easy, but without discipline you can slip back to

the actions of your past. I had to recommit myself to safer sex.

I personally learned that until I can better control my sexual desires, it’s not a good idea for me to be an active part of any online hookup sites. I don’t think that the sites are all bad, but I know for myself that it’s so easy to get a quick date and I end up logging on every time I get horny, bored, or have leisure time to spare. I have not been on any sites lately and I must admit that even though I have the desire to get on and get off, I haven’t because I want to stick to my commitment. I hope that, like my last Spotlight Story, this will inspire someone who has made second mistakes to realize that it is a human thing to do and it happens to the best of us. My advice would be to recommit to yourself! l