The Gladrags LegacyChapter 5-

Weatherwax’s Warning

The narration in this chapter is very odd. I’m usually narrating in third person (I think), similar to the style of the Harry Potter books except I swap characters. However, sometimes I start talking like I am now. It’s all very confusing but please keep reading! This is where the plots start for me, so I hope it’s ok! Enjoy!

“Terrible news!” wailed Gytha. “Terrible TERRIBLE News!”

HELLO. Death had come for Maria and Steven, the founders of this legacy. CARE FOR A BANANA DAIQUIRI?“We’ll pass” said Steven.“Speak for yourself! Yummy” Death handed Maria her drink.WHY HUMANS OVERCOMPLICATE THINGS BY ADDING A LITTLE UMBRELLA IS BEYOND ME. I MEAN, REALLY?

But the world balances itself out, and in fact shortly after Maria and Steven’s deaths...

Liesl went into labour for the final time.“ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!”

Liesl gave birth to twins. The first was called Truly Scrumptious, named after the character Truly Scrumptious in the film of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. She was played by Sally Ann Howes, and was the daughter of a wealthy sweet factory owner.

The second was called Jeremy, named after Jeremy Potts from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. He was played by Adrian Hall in the film version, and was the son of the eccentric Caractacus Potts.

“Hey, you haven’t told them about my news yet!”Ahem- Gytha has also had another kitten, a girl named after the fabulous Audrey Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn was voted the third greatest female star of all time, and was a devoted humanitarian.

Caractacus thought as he made his snow angel. My first day at school tomorrow. What if I don’t make any friends?The idea of having to try and make friends frightened him.What if I do it wrong? I’ll... Well, I’ll just be myself, and if they don’t like that, well tough.

Stay cool, he thought. It’ll be fine.

Luckily, Caractacus was instantly liked by many of his class mates. He had two best friends, one of which was Orlando. Orlando was the class joker, and everybody found him hilarious.

The second was Esther. Esther lived near by to Caractacus, but she was quiet and much more shy than Orlando. Caractacus worried about them both meeting, but he needn’t have worried.

“We’re all gonna be best friends forever!” Orlando shouted.“Yeah! We’ll all go to college together, then we’ll live in the same house and have a cat and an ice cream maker and a, a, a BIG SLIDE!” Esther eyes lit up at the very thought.“I can’t if I’m voted heir, but I think Coggins or Truly of Jeremy will win, so we’re ok!” “Let’s go play tag!”

Truly and Jeremy grew up into adorable little toddlers.

And Teppic’s parenting skills were particularly useful as Liesl did NOTHING.

“Hooray! Dad says we’re going to try and exorcise Rumo today!”Quite why the cats had a love hate relationship with the bird on the end of the cat toy was unknown (perhaps his enigmatic charm coupled with his unfaithful tendencies) but as soon as the cats became adults they took a strong view either way. Audrey was an early convert.

All that could be seen was a blur of red, black and white fur, and the yowls filled the room.

Gene had managed to beat his mother in the fight, which was no mean feet. This is a descendant of Greebo, remember.“Had enough!” Gene triumphantly towered over Gytha.“I’ll get you for this, sonny...”“HA! Sure you will. Gene uses scratch!”“Yowwwwwwl”

“Mum! Help me!“Sorry, what was that dear?”

“Aaaah!”“Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe”

Both Caractacus and Coggins grew up quickly, and Coggins also seems to be a musical genius.

“Isn’t he doing well? It’s nice to have music in the house” Teppic smiled.“Hang on, I’ve been playing the violin for years! And that piano!”“Don’t take it away from him, C. He never gets enthusiastic about anything.”*sigh*

“Coming out tonight?” said Orlando.“Umm, I think I’ll pass. Why are you in your underwear?”“Umm, I’m not sure... But still, come on! We’ve got to find you a girl!”“I don’t think I really-”“No excuses!”Caractacus didn’t want a girl. He didn’t want any girl. He only wanted one person but he was ashamed to admit it. “Esther keeps looking at you, y’know C.”

“What?!”“Yeah! She’s always laughing at your jokes, which believe me, are NOT funny. And she looks back at you in class every other moment.”He couldn’t take it in. He was in love with one of his best friends, but the wrong one. Not the one he should love.

He immediately met up with Esther.“Esther, um, I have to talk to you.”“No, me first. I-I really like you, C, and, well, um, would you go out with me?”Caractacus thought over everything in his head. He got on with Esther. He really liked her... Just not in thee way that he craved Orlando. But he couldn’t love him. What would everyone at school say? Orlando was straight, he knew that. He had to get over this little... It

wasn’t even a crush, it was just misplaced affection was all.“Are you ok C? You’ve been quiet for a while...” “Yes. And yes, that’s what I was going to ask you anyway.”“Oh Caractacus!” She hugged him. How the hell was he going to get out of this one now?

As soon as his parents left to go out that night, Caractacus hit the booze.“I love Esther. ESTHER. Orlando is a sweaty, disgusting boy and Esther is beautiful and kind and-”

Eyes screwed up, he sobbed as he finished the last of the bottle. He was so drunk he could barely stand, and he sank to his knees, still clutching the bottle to his chest.“I need to get out of here.”

Caractacus left for college the next morning, unaware that Esther and Orlando both followed shortly afterwards. To cheer up the rest of the sims, I built them a new house! Spiffy, huh?

Coggins became a friggin’ hot teenager. He’s a Romance sim with a secondary aspiration of Popularity.

And is also a great drummer. Funnily, he goes from looking really moody to looking really moody. It’s weiiird.

Shortly afterwards Truly and Jeremy grew up.

And whilst Truly looks very pretty indeed, Jeremy has gone for the nerdy look, which is why I love him.

“Excuse me, what are you doing in my garden?” The old woman turned to her. “What a pretty young girl.” She said. In much the same tone as people have said “Eat hot lead”. “What’s your name?”“Truly, miss. Truly Scrumptious.”The woman wrinkled her nose at this. “Well I’m Mistress Weatherwax.. You can call me Granny.”

“Are you a witch, Granny?”“Do I look like a witch?”“’s”“Well that answers your question.”“Do you have a magic wand?”“Only fairy godmothers have wands. And I’m certainly not one of them.”

“What’s wrong with fairy godmothers?”“There’s a lot wrong with them.”“I thought they made all your dreams come true?”“Yes, they do. All your dreams.”Truly remembered some of her dreams. Like the one with the cabbage and the whirring knife thing. Or the one where she’s falling and the ground is- she didn’t like to think.

“Keep an eye out. You don’t want a happy ending forced on you by an over eager godmother.”

Coggins soon became best friends with Amaya here, and they and another boy called Jason formed ‘The Band with Rocks In”. Coggins is of course drums, Jason is lead guitar and vocals and Amaya plays the bass.

“That Coggins is so damn hot!”“What?!” Coggins spluttered. The girl span around. “Errrm, what I meant was, what I meant to say was-”

“You and I could get to know each other a little better, if you like.” Coggins knew the right words to say, but he wasn’t quite sure how. Maybe it was in his blood. “Really?!”“Yes.”“My name’s Kenya.”“Shush- No words, just feel.”Ugh.

So Coggins had his first kiss.“I never thought I’d have a boyfriend!”Coggins didn’t say anything, but in his head the thought of commitment frightened the life out of him.

So instead he messed around with other girls, till three different people were in love with him.

But he couldn’t decide who he loved. They appealed to different parts of him. Kenya was beautiful, and was really funny. Katelyn was strong willed and independent. Adriana was clever and witty. What would he do?

Bathroom smustle? No, but that is a good idea!(God bless Amaya, she started it by smustling over the toilet).

He left for college, hoping that by the time he got back, he’d have made a decision. Typical teenager.

Quite rightly, one person who knew about Coggins’s three lovers thought it was despicable. And he came back from the grave just to make sure he knew.

“That’s for treating women as objects!”

“That’s for cheating!”

Steven had gone a bit mental on haunting since the house was remodelled. The Voice had deleted Steven’s bed.I forgot, ok?

STEVEN NEEDS HIS BED!

*Gulp*

Jeremy loved to read stories. He had a huge collection of fairytales, and he often read them to his sister. His favourites were the ones where a fairy godmother made everything better for the poor servant girl. He loved a good rags to riches story.

“.. .And then Cinderella picked up the glass slipper, and it fit her feet perfectly. She married the prince, and they all lived happily ever after. The End.”“That doesn’t seem terribly realistic.” Truly folded her arms and gave Jeremy a questioning look.

“Why not?”“Well for a start, slippers made of glass would only end with the wearer’s foot cut to ribbons. They’re not practical. And secondly, shoe size is no way to choose a wife, and the chances that her feet being the only ones that size in the whole of the kingdom are tiny.”“But it’s magic Truly! Magic!Truly sighed. “Yes, I suppose it is.”

That night, Truly thought about the stories. The stories that she adored so much usually. Was this Granny’s lecture about godmothers talking? No, that’s ridiculous. You’re just jealous because Cinderella had a happily ever after and you didn’t. You can’t be the princess, princesses were blonde and bubbly and certainly weren’t green. I have black hair, so I can be the wicked witch or the milk maid or any sort of servant.

She got up and looked at herself in the mirror. Not exactly princess material, she thought.“Oh but you could be a beautiful princess my dear” said a voice that Truly couldn’t place.“W-W-Who are you?” she asked tentatively.

“My name is Lilith. And I could be your fairy godmother!”“A real fairy godmother? With a wand and everything?”“Oh yes my dear!”

Truly remembered Granny Weatherwax’s warning.“Um, I don’t think I need a fairy godmother. I’m sorry.”“Oh but my dear, you do!”

“Wouldn’t you like to be a princess, living in a castle? Going to balls and dances with your prince? Living happily ever after?”Truly hesitated. “Like in the movies? And the stories Jeremy tells me?”“Yes. I’m the best in the business, darling. I was fairy godmother to Cinderella!”“Wow...” Truly gasped. “Erm... Could you give me a bit to think about it? Because I have to grow up in a few minutes?“Of course dear. If you want me, just call “Lilith! I need you!” and I’ll be right over!”

Truly went downstairs, and her family was waiting for her. She shut her eyes, and made a wish.Please let me grow up to be a real princess.

As you can see, Truly certainly is beautiful.

And Jeremy is still nerdy as ever.

Hi, it’s the voice. I was just popping in to- OH MY GOD! IT’S AGENT KAT*! Is this some strange Spiderpig crossover?“Er, no. I’m Agent Kat’s Klatchian cousin.Oh.

* Agent Kat from wonderfulweirdo’s earlier series, the Spiderpigs. If you like random, you’ll love it.

Granny, why do you hate godmothers?“That’s none of your concern.”“But they only make people happy!”“Exactly. They make them happy. Force happiness on them.”“But they’re magical! You’re magical, you should know that. Not that you’d know it, you never done any magic near me. It makes me wonder whether you really are a witch.”“Pray, tell what’s brought this on?” There’s no going back from a ‘pray’.

“... No reason, I just wondered. Why don’t you do any magic anyway?”“MUST you keep asking all these infernal questions?!”Truly was shocked. “I was only asking! Gods!”“Well don’t. And a real witch only uses magic when she really needs to. Using magic all the time is godmother territory. And godmothers are bad news.”

“You’re mad! Godmothers make happy endings! They don’t make anyone unhappy!”“If you LOVE godmothers so much, why don’t you talk to one instead of whining to me about your problems?” She didn’t shout these words, but she towered above Truly at that moment. She wasn’t tall, but she stood tall. But Truly was having none of it, she was sick of the old woman’s attitude.

“Fine! I will! Now get out!”Granny gave Truly a piercing stare with her icy blue eyes. She walked slowly off the lot, and silently vowed never to help that wretched girl again.

“Lilith! I need you!” Truly cried. She appeared behind her a few seconds later.“What’s the matter, my dear?”“Oh nothing. Nothing important. But I’ve decided that I would love for you to be my godmother.”“Oh that’s marvellous! We must get started at once! You will get through college, and you will win the heir poll, and you will marry a prince and have many royal children!“J-Just tell me what I have to do.”

“You must buy mirrors to put ALL around your house. That way, I can see you wherever you are! I can see into whatever mirror I like, using my magic mirror.”And Truly did as she was told.

Just a brief interlude from me, The Voice. This is Balin, the dog who wandered onto my lot, and he hates everyone. He only came onto the lot to frighten the girl that Jeremy brought home from school one day (right), Jason, lead singer of The Band with Rocks In (top left) and have a show down with Gytha. Gytha chased him for a while after this, proving what a viscous cat she truly is.

“Ugh, what do you want Jackie.”“Oh nothing, frog face. I just want you to know that you’re a slut and we’ll beat the crap out of you tomorrow.”“I’d like to see you try.”“You’re so vain Truly. You think that you’re so pretty but really you’re just an uggo who’s easier than a Year 3 Maths Exam.”“I’m not vain, Jackie. Or easy. And I’m prettier than you anyway, not that it’s hard”“Per-lease. I’ve seen you constantly look at your own reflection in that pocket mirror you carry with you. And you talk to it, like you’re pretending that you have friends!”“I have friends Jackie, all you have are people who are afraid of you.”“No way! You’re a freak, Truly, just like your dorky brother.”“You take that back!”“Make me!”

And Truly made her.

“You’ll pay for that tomorrow, bitch.” Jackie snarled.“Unluckily for you, I’m off to college tomorrow. Too bad, huh?”

And the next morning, Truly and Jeremy departed the Legacy Lot for University.

And that’s the end! Hope you en- What’s so funny Lilith?“You, silly!”Whaa?“Because when I get my way, Truly will just be an empty husk”You leave her alone! I’ll Death by Flies you!“You can’t hold down a good story, you know that. No one can stop this, not even that crone Weatherwax. Truly is as good as dead.