I'M GETTING READY

VOL. 1 NO.4 Published by the 4R'S Academic Method, Inc. (International] p.o. Box 5809 Sarasota, FL 33579 USA

©1981 4R's Academic Method, Inc.

WITH RESPONSIBILITY COMES RESPECTYou will daily hear the word "Responsibility" misusedby most people. That does not change the true defini-tion. In an attempt to borrow from you, a person willoften claim he is responsible, but when the item isreturned broken, dirty, or not at all, what you're aptto hear is a weak,"I'm sorry." Should you ask for re-placement or payment for the item you will likely geta little louder and less pleasant, "I said I was sorry,didn't I?" The more you remind the person of hispledge of responsibility the more he will dislike you.Since he knows he is at fault, he will try to defendhimself in many ways, of ten culminating in an attackupon you for being such a mean, nasty, money-grubbing,inconsiderate, selfish, unsharing, harsh person, with-out feelings or compassion. In effect he is attackingyou for being generous and getting him into all this

~. trouble. And he might be right.

And all of this will happen because you made a loan tosomeone before you determined whether or not he was re-sponsible! This is an age-old bit of knowledge. Shake-speare tried to give his audiences the same lesson byhaving a character he named Polonius include it in theadvice he gave his son on the day the boy left forcollege. Polonius said:

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; for loanoft loses both itself and friend, and borrow-ing dulls the edge of husbandry."

So be smart. Observe your friends. Look for signs ofresponsibility. Don't lend to irresponsible persons.And of course don't be a borrower yourself. That wayyou can demonstrate your own responsibility.

We cannot promise you popularity for being responsible,but you will certainly find you are respected. And youwill be respected by other persons who are themselvesresponsible. So it w'ill bring you friends who will be-come increasingly valuable to you each year as you main-tain your own unbreached reputation for responsibility.

Perhaps that's a good question to think about -- wouldyou rather have friends who respect you or do you care?Is it better to have friends who are respected, or notrespected by your family, town, state, or country asyou reach into ever wider areas through your job andas you mature and start your own family? You do real-

r-'\ize don't you it is a fundamental trait you will need)as foundation for a valued reputation. With correct- choice your popularity will be reflected by o't he r re-

sponsible people rather than the guys who spend all oftheir time hanging around the hamburger lot or elec-

TO

tronic toy arcades. You will have, by developing thistrait, moved into higher grade friendships. You'llfind you are indeed popular -- popular with finer peo-ple to whom you would likely never even have been in-troduced if you had not valued responsibility.

Consider some other implications of responsibility.First of all you recognize that your parents are re-sponsible for you until you are earning your own in-come, paying for your own bedroom, apartment or home.They are responsible until you are buying and cookingyour own meals, buying your own clothes, paying yourown dental and medical expenses, making your own sur-plus cash and paying your own taxes!

Remember our definition of responsibility -- pay yourown bills. You'll belong to you as soon as you aredoing just that, paying your own bills, all of them,and have enough surplus cash and earning power thatyou won't have to come back home with your financialtail tucked between your legs asking for more helpfrom Mom and Dad. Won't you be proud?

Second, since you probably are still getting ready tobelong to you, you do recognize that even with relap-ses and set-backs you have been given steadily widerand wider ranges of choices as you have grown olderand demonstrated increasing maturity. Yes, you have-- ever since you were born. As you continue yo~rprogress, realize and be proud of that, too.

WHOSE MONKEY ISN'T IT ?"Story time, Corielle! Where's my favorite pixie?""Here I am!" Corielle pranced across the living roomin her pajamas and climbed into Daddy's lap where hewas sitting in front of the fireplace. "All ready tocozy up, Daddy.""You seem much happier than Miss Sobers ides did when Icame home this evening. Maybe it's because you've hadyour bath and smell all sweet and clean," he said ashe cuddled her. "Feeling better?""Feel dee-lish-ous! What's my story tonight? Are wegoing to read from your big book with the pictures?"

What you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say,Emerson

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"No book tonight, Honey," he said. "I have a story uphere to tell you." He tapped on his head. "And youcan make pictures for it in your head, if you like."She tapped on her head using the same gesture. Theyboth laughed. "Tonight my story is about the way peo-ple feel and what it means if they feel good or bad.""Miss Dillon says people feel good because they dogood things." Miss Dillon was Corielle's Montessoripre-school teacher. "I'm stringing beads on a long,long string and counting them. I'm already up to sixhundred. That's a lot of beads!" Her head bobbed upand down. "It feels better every day when I countmore. When I get all the way to a thousand I'm goingto feel so-o-o- good!" She hugged herself thinkingabout the big accomplishment coming soon.

"Then I know you'll understand my story," said Daddy."It's about a small boy, maybe your age, named Tommy,and a visit to the grocery store with his mommy. Theyhad been to this particular store lots of times before,and he knew the storekeeper by name. When they walkedinto the store he looked up and waved. "Hi, Mr. Peters!My mommy brought me shopping.""Hi, Tommy," the old man greeted him. "I'm happy tosee you've come to visit us.""Mommy's going to let me push the cart today, insteadof sitting in it!" Tommy proudly announced. His mothershowed him how to carefully push his cart while shemade her selections. Mr. Peters smiled as he saw inthe overhead mirror how proud Tommy was that he couldkeep the cart c~ose to mother, but not get in her way.When he came to a corner Tommy pushed and pushed at thecart's handle, but he couldn't quite make it turn. Helooked anxiously up at his mommy. She was several stepsaway at the dairy case. Then Tommy went to the frontof the cart and pulled it around. "That's better!" hissmile seemed to say as he pushed to catch up with her.When they finally came to the check-out counter Tommyhelped his mother lift the food 'out onto the counter."Pretty good job of pushing, Tommy," Mr. Peters toldhim. "Not once did I see you bump the shelves." Tommybeamed. "Now, how'd you like to push the cart over withthe empty ones while I add up your mother's bill?Thank you."After Tommy had put away the cart his eyes grew big ashe saw a shelf full of the most beautiful things. Rightin front was a lovely, bright red and blue monkey! Hestared and stared! "Tommy .•." He quickly looked aroundthe end of the counter and saw Mr. Peters countingchange from his cash register, and Mommy was. lookingfor him the other way.In a moment Tommy came from behind the counter and head-ed for the door. "Good-bye, Tommy," said Mr. Peters.Tommy tugged at the door, which opened much too slowlyfor his evident hurry.His mother picked up her grocery bags and turned towardthe door. "Tommy, aren't you going to say good-bye toMr. Peters?" He turned around with a jerk. His facewas white and his eyes round. He stood tensely for afew seconds, then said, "G'bye," and again turned backtoward the door."Look in his pocket," said Mr. Peters softly."Tommy," said his mother quietly, "Come here." She setdown her grocery bags and knelt down. Tommy stood be-fore her with his face down. "Show me what you have inyour pocket, Son." He didn't move for a moment, thenreached slowly into his pocket and pulled out the toymonkey. "Does that belong to you?" He shook his head.

"Hadn't you better give it back?" she asked softly. Hereached up and very slowly put the lovely toy monkeyon the counter. Nobody said any thing 'then. Hi~ motherlooked up at Mr. Peters, a bit shocked at what had justhappened. Tommy looked at the floor, chewing his lip. r-Finally Mr. Peters spoke."Lift him up, please, so we can talk face to face."She did so. Tommy turned his face away. "Tommy," Mr.Peters said softly, "It's hard for you to look at meright now, isn't it?" He paused. "And it's hard foryou to talk to me, too. You haven't waved and saidgood-bye to me like you always do." Tommy' shook hishead without turning around. Mr. Peters went on, hisvoice sounding like his face looked, gentle but sad."Remember how happy you were when you came in? Youtold me your mommy had brought you shopping, and youwere going to get to push the cart instead of havingto just sit in it. You were glad about that." Tommynodded again, and turned toward the old man. He wasn'tbiting his lip anymore, but he wasn't smiling either."Tommy, I'd like you to feel happy when you visit me.I'd like you to wave and say, 'Hi, Mr. Peters,' likeyou did tod-ay -like you alw-a-y-s-d'~mmy-n0dded-];emembering. "Would you like that, too, Tommy?""Yes. ""And I'd like to be able to wave and say 'Hi' to you,too," he said gently. "But we can't do that if you feellike you have to hide from me, can we?" Tommy shook hishead. "Would you like us to be friends again, so youdon't feel like you have to hurry away or hide from me?""Yes, Mr. Peters.""I'm glad, 'cause that's what I want, too." "He noddedto Tommy's mother, who set him down on the floor.Tommy reached up and took the toy monkey from thecounter. "I better put it back," he said, walked tothe toy counter and returned it to the shelf.Stopping at the door after his mother had gone out,Tommy turned. He lifted his hand, then hesitated. Hewasn't smiling yet, but his small face held new under-standing as he waved and said, "Good-bye, Mr. Peters."Mr. Peters waved his hand. "Good-bye, Tommy. I hopeyou can come back to visit me again soon." As Tommyturned and ran after his mother, old Mr. Petersallowed himself the trace of a quiet smile.

Corielle didn't say anything for a little while, then,"Tommy took something that didn't belong to him.""That's right. That's what he did.""Why didn't Mr. Peters call Tommy a bad boy and spankhim?""Bad? Well, Mr. Peters didn't think Tommy really un-derstood why taking something that didn't belong tohim was bad. Most children your age don't. But Tommycould understand his feeling that he didn't want Mr.Peters or his mommy to know what he had done. He knewthat wasn't a happy feeling. Sometimes your feelingscan give you the right answers even before you under-stand with your head.""Huh?" Corielle looked a little bewildered."Well, you know how good you feel when you take a bath,also when you eat a nice meal. That's because thoseare good things to do. And you know how bad you feelwhen you hurt yourself. Remember last week when youburned your finger?" Corielle nodded. "Those good andbad feelings are your body's way of telling you thatwhat you're doing is good for you or bad for you."

14 You can learn many interesting things about your ancestors. But yourdescendents are more important - you can do more about them.

Esther p, Dillon

Corielle tilted her head in understanding, waiting tolearn more."Well," Daddy continued, "When you do something that's

~ good, yo~r mind tells you to feel good. For example,you feel better and better about your .string of beadsas you'make it grow longer." Corielle nodded. "AndTommy felt good when he pushed the cart fo~ his mommywithout hitting anything. But when you do bad things,you feel unhappy and that's your mind's way of givingyou a warning that you're doing something wrong. Tom-my probably couldn't have said why it was wrong totake the toy monkey, but his feeling told him he'dbetter hide it in his pocket. If he'd thought aboutwhether it was more fun to have that feeling or a hap-py feeling, he probably would have decided to leavethe toy monkey on the shelf.""I feel like that sometimes," said Corielle thought-fully."I know you do," said Daddy softly. "You feel that waywhen you snitch cookies." Corielle jerked back andlooked scared. "How did you know?""How did Mr. Peters know about Tonimy?""Oh," she said quietly, then, "That's why you calledme Miss Sobersides."Daddy gave her a reassuring hug and said, "Next timeyou want to take something that isn't yours, thinkabout whether you'd rather be happy to see me when Icorne from work -- or whether you'd rather hide and beafraid I might find out." Then he whispered, "Bedtime."Corielle whispered back, "I love you, Daddy." Daddycarried her up to her bed, kissed her goodnight, andshe slept and she slept and she slept.

MAKING JACK

"Here, take this wrench, will you?" Glenn had his headburied in the engine of a 170 and held the wrench overhis shoulder. Brian took it and laid it in its placeon the portable work table. "Now the spark plug wrench,please." Brian quickly selected the over-long socketand handed it to Glenn.

Brian laughed. "This is sort of like surgery," he said.

"That's what it is," carne Glenn's voice out of the en-gine compartment.

"You even keep your shop clean like an operating room,"Brian observed. "Well, almost as clean."

"Of course. You ever lose a nut or a bolt in the clut-ter when you were working on your car?"

'-"""Have I ever!" Brian laughed again. "Don't have to-worry about that just now, though," he added. "My car'son blocks for the summer. You notice I've been ridingmyoId bike to work?"

"Yes, I noticed. What gives? I thought maybe you hadmissed a payment and the car was repossessed."

"Not at all, I just figured with all this good Floridaweather it wasn't that important, and the exercisedoesn't hurt me any. So I'm saving the insurance. Gas,too. Going to make Jack a rich 01' buddy."

"Hey! So you liked that money partner idea we talkedabout, eh? How about Marietta? Seems I recall.youwere worried 'cause you couldn't take her anyplace."

"Didn't have to worry," answered Brian. "You said shewould understand. She was super about it. Know whatwe did?"

"Sure, I always spy on you," teased Glenn with a grunt."Hand me the CRC, will you? This plug's frozen."

Brian handed him the can of penetrating oil. "We spentthe afternoon getting both of our bikes back in shape.Tires pumped, bearings oiled, wheels aligned -- y'knowhow it goes. She said she'd alway.s_hated working on herbike when she was in Jr. High, but this was fun. Guessshe was surprised. Anyway, then we went for a longride." Glenn turned and shot him a lopsided grin. "Iknow it sounds kind of corny, but she said it was thebest date we'd ever had -- just riding and talking inthe twilight. When it got too dark to ride we went overto her house and she fixed us a snack. Wouldn't let mespend a penny on her. Said she really respected memore for not trying to impress her by spending moneyI couldn't afford."

"Sounds like a nifty gal." He walked around the engineto remove leads and plugs from the other side of it.

"She is. I told her about making a rich pal of Jackand she thinks that's a clever way to think about sav-ing money. She's even helped with some ideas. y'knowmy landlady? No, I guess you don't. I live in a roomabove the bakery. There are three other rented roomsthere, and we all share the same stairs, hall, andbathroom. Well, the landlady lives downstairs behindthe shop and she used to corne up once a day to clean.She comes up the stairs awfully slowly -- she's sortof old, y'know -- and so I offered to do the regularcleaning and vacuuming for her. It's not so much.Geez, after you taught me how to wash airplanes, thebathroom was a snap! At first she carne up every fewdays just to see mat it waS-done-okay, then -once -aweek. Then at the end of the month when I went to paymy rent, y'know what she said? She said she'd takefifteen dollars a month off my rent as long as I keptdoing such a good job cleaning those places. Isn'tthat great? But the whole thing was Marietta's idea.She especially suggested I don't say anything aboutmoney but let the landlady maybe think of it herself."

"That's terrific, Brian! Sounds like you're 'makingJack' lots of ways," complimented Glenn. "Here, giveme a hand by turning the prop while I check compres-sion." He pushed the rubber nipple of the compressiongauge into the spark plug opening.

"Can't complain," said Brian. "Like this?"

"No. Always stand clear of the prop."

"No way that engine could fire, Glenn. You've takenoff all the spark plug leads -- and removed one plugfrom each cylinder."

A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.Francis Bacon

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"Stand clear anyway -- make it an unbreakable habit."The engine had their attention for the next few minutes.

"I wasn't trying to nose into your affairs, Brian, butit looks like you're really figuring out ways to notonly make some Jack, but to build yourself a responsi-ble reputation," said Glenn at length. "Matt and I hadto do the same thing. We tried not to spend much, ofcourse, but you can't set up in business without spend-ing money. Our main effort was at boosting income byselling our services. We couldn't affort to advertise,so we tried for good word of mouth publicity."

"Word of mouth, huh? That makes sense. I always pay'more attention to what my friends say than to the ads."

"Most people do. And everybody loves to tell theirfriends about some neat "discovery" they've made. Thetrick was how to get people to notice us in the firstplace. Matt thought of organizing an airshow and aseries of fly-in parties to attract the crowd, and forElton County International it worked. Get him to tellyou about it sometime.~"

"What was your special job?" asked Brian.

"Mechanics. I've always admired a good piece of machin-ery -- hate to see it in less than top condition. So,I've always worked extra hard at learning how to dothings just right -- then always doing them that way."

"Is that why you always keep your tools just so?"

"Sure. You compared it to surgery. That's exactly myattitude. Every detail is just as important as it iswith a human patient on the table. If I make a goof,the person who flies the plane will be in real trouble."

"Word must have gotten around pretty well," Brian ob-served. "There's always a plane in your shop, and some-times several. You must be doing very well."

Glenn stopped and looked up for a second, then saidquietly, "Can't complain," Brian blushed. "Never mind;I know you didn't mean to be nosey. But you're rightabout word getting around. This 170 for example be-longs to a man up in St. Petersburg who flew down justto have me do his overhaul. Now, he surely could havefound a shop that would do the job closer to home. Butit seems that somebody told him that Glenn Wright doesit the right way."

"Glenn does it the W-R-I-G-H-T. way."

"Brian! Hey! That sounds great! Mind if I use it?"

"Be my guest!" Brian felt good. "Yeah, that's prettygood. I didn't know I had it in me. But anyhow, youmean you got all your advertising for free?"

"Well, I wouldn't quite put it that way. I took a lotof time and effort .and attention to detail to buildthe knowledge, and then to build a reputation. And Ican't let it slip for even one job, 'cause don't youever forget; bad reputations spread a lot faster thengood ones. All that time and effort is a differentkind of investment."

"Glenn, that's one r'll remember for sure! 'Bad repu-tations spread a lot faster than good ones.'" Then hesaid, "Hey, look! I'd better jump. That Piper justtouched down."

GET H0 0 KED - ON BOOKS! ----..Pre-School: Dear Mommy, I'd like to suggest that youmake friends with a librarian, or possibly with oneof those lovely, retired school teachers who mighthave taught your mother and father when they were ingrade school. A career teacher of "the old school"is a marvelous resource for help in raising your tod-dlers. They have had more experience raising childrenthan most sweet young thirgs you will meet today. Youwould probably be reminded that the favored storiesfor pre-schoolers have more to say than just cuterhymes. Find a book of the old classics like The Lit-tle Engine That Could pull the long train of cars overthe mountain, puffing, "I thought I could, I thought Icould." Or do you remember Little Toot, the mischie-vous harbor tugboat that once saved the big passengerliner from the ocean? How about The Little Red Hen requesting help from the other barnyard animals only tobe refused until the work was done and the bread wasready to eat? Each tells a story that helps yourchild learn a much needed lesson and will be a founda-tion stone for moral structures the rest of his life.Try a used book store for an old set of Book Housewhich presented probably ten volumes of stories takinga child from the first years of learning to readthrough junior high school years. Be alert to recog-nize the central lesson the story is planting in hismind. Remember, at this age, you must be the one whomakes the judgments. What do you wish to file in youryoung child's "mental computer" storage for later auto·matic value and emotional responses?

Elementary School: See if your parents can find youcopies of The Wonderbook and Tanglewood Tales, by Na-thaniel Hawthorne, stories of Greek heroes. Animalscan be some of the best people around. Ask for Aesop'sFables, or the "Uncle Remus" stories about Br'er Rabbit'"and Br'er Fox and others. ("Br'er" is short for brother-~but they don't act very brotherly.) Br'er Fox is alwaystrying to catch Br'er Rabbit to eat him up, but Br'erRabbit always finds some way to trick or outsmart himand get away. Or maybe you can find them in your li-brary. Look also for Rabbit Hill by Robert Lawson.When the folks who ljve up in the big house move away,all the animals who live in the garden have a hard time.When the rumors race that "There's new folks coming,"all the animals can talk about is, "What sort of peoplewill they be? Will they be planting folk? Will they bekind to animals?" You'll enjoy getting to know the"people" who make up this animal community and learningwhat happens when new folks~>mG-ve-j,.n>t,e-t-he-9~g-h.euse..--~~

Junior High School: For super-good, vigorous adventurestories be sure not to miss Edgar Rice Burroughs' Tar-zan stories and also his Martian series. My mom neverwanted me to read these, but I think they're great! (Ithink she objected to the cover art -- which is irrele-vant. They're ripping good yarns.)

High School: For high adventure on a more mature levelyou can hardly do better than any of the very true tolife "Hornblower" novels by C. S. Forester. HoratioHornblower is with justice one of the most famous navalheroes in all literature. The Hornblower series ismuch enjoyed by seafaring folks also because of thetechnical accuracy. Others you will like are St.Exu-·pery's Wind, Sand, and Stars, and Night Flight, sto-ries from the early days of aviation which will stay ~with you for a long time. If you are interested in fly· ~ing, or perhaps have an ambition to earn your pilot'slicense, then you'll especially want to treat yourselfto Richard Bach's A Gift of Wings, a collection ofstories about his own flying experiences and dreams.

16 No man is free who is not master of himself.Epictetus