getting into reality

8/9/2019 Getting Into Reality

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Getting Into Reality

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Too many people today are living an illusion. Theyll

escape into the fabricated world of a movie, or into a

virtual reality experience.

But isnt the most beautiful reality the one thats real?

Isnt it better to see a fantastic sunset than watch it in

a movie? To experience the thrill of adventure rather

than simulate it in an amusement park? To achieve

greatness rather than hallucinate youre Cleopatra?

Everyone has a sneaking suspicion theres something

truly breathtaking about life.

So why are so many people miserable? Because

theyre not focused on reality. A person can create the

impression that his act is together, though in reality

hes deluding himself. Reality itself is absolute. At any

moment, its either night or day. You can sleep through

reality, and choose not relate to it. But thats still what

it is.


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Dont live a life of illusions. Get into reality. Its the real

thing.

* * *

YOU CAN FIND TRUTH

There are many different theories on the purpose of

life. This indicates how easy it is to delude oneself.

You have to know what your purpose of life is based

on. Intelligent decisions are built on evidence. What is

the source of your information? What is your evidence?

Two people can be neighbors for years, play golf

together, share barbecue dinners, and consider

themselves the best of friends. They only argue over

one issue: God. The most fundamental issue of lifewhich colors our thinking on virtually everythingand

these two cant even agree if He exists!

Co-existence is not the same as living in the same

reality. So whose reality is true?

Become a truth seeker. Be ambitious to know what life

is really about. Constantly look for evidence to either

substantiateor contradictyour ideas. Always be


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open to new information that will enable you to hone

your understanding of the truth.

* * *

KNOW THE EVIDENCE

In our generation, people often dont bother seeking

truth, because they dont believe it exists. Everyone is

right. Its one opinion against the other. So we accept

living in confusion. People are even afraid to debate

deep issues because they say, Youre going to

brainwash me. I wont be able to determine if what

youre saying is right or wrong.

Fight this insanity in yourself and others. We need to

have confidence that truth exists and it can be found.

Thats the starting point for all reality.

Gain confidence in your ability to distinguish right from

wrong. For example, you know you have 10 fingers. But

what if somebody says youve got 74 fingers. Whats

your proof that theyre wrong?


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The sum total of all your senses and prior experiences

says youve got 10 fingers. It is an unshakable

conviction.

Now lets try a more difficult example. Is it more

important to be happy or to be rich? Most people will

say happy. And what if somebody says, Its alright

to be miserable and isolated, as long as youve got

loads of money! Whos right and whos wrong? Do you

know?

What if you were born in Germany and they said, Kill

all the Jews, the plague of mankind. When they put

you on trial for war crimes, why cant you claim

innocence, that your opinion is as valid as any other?Because we know that certain things are objectively

wrong. And every human being has the responsibility

to know that reality.

Get clear on the evidence for your outlook. Itll keep

you from being dragged around by passing fads orworse.

* * *


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ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT

Reality is largely a function of attitude.

Imagine a young woman flying from Chicago to attenda friends wedding in New York. She has a beautiful

gown, custom-made especially for the occasion. Then,

just before leaving her hotel for the wedding, a clumsy

bellhop spills a tray of room service all over her dress.

Catastrophe!

Instantly, her mind races through all the possibilities:

look for an emergency dry cleaner, try to borrow

another dress, or simply skip the wedding. Shes got to

make a decision!

She concludes that the best option is to go to the

wedding with a dirty dress. This triggers another whole

series of decisions, because when someone asks, Why

is your dress all dirty, what will she answer? She can

simply say, It doesnt really matter, the important

thing is that Im here to enjoy my friends wedding. Orshe can say, poor meand spend the whole evening

commiserating exactly how it happened and how she is

crestfallen and what a disaster it is!


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* * *

FIGHT INSANITY

Judaism says that ignorance is the most terrible,

painful, destructive disease of all. People may even

commit suicide out of ignorance. They lose money in

the stock market and suddenly feel that life is no

longer worth living. What happened? They severed

their connection with reality.

Sanity means more than just not getting locked away

in an insane asylum. Sanity clears your mind of

fuzziness and allows you to see the beauty of creation.

Sanity is energizing, expansive, awesome.

Insanity is contagious. Imagine we lock you up in an

asylum where everyone sees snakes crawling on the

walls. After six months, its almost guaranteed youll

believe there are snakes on the walls.

People accept the most ridiculous things because

everyone else accepts it. Fashion trends and mass

marketing operate on this principle.


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Whats the best way to survive an insane asylum? Cure

your fellow inmates. Otherwise youre bound to be

influenced by them.

* * *

LOOK FOR THE ROOT

Weve all tried to help someone with a problema

friend, a roommate, a colleague, a cousin. The guy is

all muddled and depressedIm no good, Im weak,

Im nothing. You support him, cheer him up, get him

ready to tackle life, and then hes down again the

next morning.

The problem is you did not set him firmly into reality.

You did a patch joband the patch came off.

To align someone with reality, dont just look for

cosmetic solutions. Get to the root of the problem. Find

the gap in knowledge which leads to the negative

action. What is the core issue holding him back? Look

for the single strategic move that will turn him around,

release his potential, and get him moving in the right

direction. This will make your solutions more effective

and permanent.


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Imagine the father of a teenager, frustrated that his

son is not listening to parental advice. There is

constant tension and fighting. Whats the solution? Get

the father to realize a basic principle: You can never

tell anyone what to do. You can only show him why its

meaningful and to his benefit. This helps the father

reframe his approach.

And how do you reframe the son, whos convinced that

his father hates him? Focus him on the following case:

Youre travelling through Europe, get hit by a

car and wind up in the hospital. Whos going

to travel 5,000 miles to see that you get the

best treatment? You know who will comeyour father. Yet you say he hates you!

Focus his attention: His parents are totally devoted to

him and cant possibly hate him. Youve now given him

clarity. At least until the next time his father calls him a

dumbbell

* * *

PERSONALIZED PROBLEM SOLVING


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Realize there are no pat solutions. Just as every

person is unique in appearance, so too everyone has

different motivations and needs. One person may be

driven by idealism, another needs security, another

wants material possessions, another is in pursuit of

honor. So even if youve found one solution, it may not

be universally applicable.

(On the other hand, there are certain universal drives:

the desire to be good, to actualize potential, to help

others, etc.)

The best solution to a problem is the one that someone

comes up with on their own. Because when someone

understands the obstacles that interfere with their ownfulfillment, theyll devote themselves more fully to that

solution.

Setting a person on the straight course doesnt mean

being a solution-wiz dispensing answer. It means

being a facilitator, showing others their mistakes, andguiding their personal exploration of correct solutions.

Dont forget to tackle your own problems. Because in

order to get someone else into reality, you first have to


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understand it yourself. So strive to resolve your own

issues, to free yourself to look beyond the little box.

And the more perfect you become, the better leader

you become for others.

In some instances, however, if you do hit an impasse

with yourself, one way out is to try solving other

peoples problems. With yourself, youre all boxed up.

With others, youre more objective. So once you

experience success in external problem-solving, you

can then apply it to yourself.

* * *

GOD AND THE JEWS

Youre walking down the street and see a child running

into traffic to chase his ball. A car screeches to a halt.

The driver yells from his window about the childs

foolishness. Some of the bystanders shake their head,

others wag an accusing finger in his direction. But one

person runs after the kid, chases him five blocks, grabshim, and smacks him across the behind. Who is that

man? His father. Everyone else says, Hes going to get

himself killed one day, what a pity. But only the father


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cares enough to make sure hes scared stiff not to do

something like that again.

God cares about the Jewish people more than any

parent cares about his child. The Jewish people are the

transmitters of Torah values and God will not allow us

to disappear. Thats why He has to keep us set into

reality. Even if we say, We dont care about being

Jewish, we want to assimilate. The Almighty says: No

way. I have a deal with Abraham and you are too

precious to get lost. If I have to teach you the

difference, youll learn.

God never punishes. It is always instructive, setting

us on the path of reality.

Furthermore, the Almighty does not take revenge on

His children. Imagine if your son was doing awful

things, putting his life in danger and causing you

terrible suffering. Then one day he comes back and

says, Dad, Im sorry. I made a lot of bad mistakes.Please forgive me. Now what are you going to say

wait, Ive got to get some blood out of you? Or will you

break down crying, hug him and celebrate.


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A parent doesnt take revenge on a child. Thats the

principle of our Father in Heaven.

* * *

WHY IS GETTING INTO REALITY A WAY TOWISDOM?

- Never stop asking: Is it good to be alive? What am I

living for?

- We need to be good. Helping others straighten out

their lives is not just part of living; its what living is

about.

- Get to the root of the problem. Cut it out and release

the latent potential.

- Ask yourself: Do I really want to live in reality?

- Make decisions about the wisdom you learn: Am I

going to live with it, or ignore it?

- Live in the real world. It will make you yearn for

sanity.

by Rabbi Noah Weinberg
http://www.simpletoremember.com/authors/a/rabbi-noah-weinberg/http://www.simpletoremember.com/authors/a/rabbi-noah-weinberg/


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