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Abstract

Twenge suggests a different interpretation of some of the commonly held conceptions of the generation variously

referred to as Generation Y, iGeneration, the Millenials, and in this case, Generation Me. The first half of the

book makes the case that this is a generation in which the importance of the individual supersedes all other

concerns, focusing on the cultural and demographic forces that have influenced this generational cohort. The

second half of the book explores how this individual focus affects members of Generation Me, their relationships

with each other and with other generations. Twenge closes the book with a number of suggestions for how

institutions can be better prepared to deal with Generation Me.

Generation Me

Twenge begins her introduction to Generation Me with the concept that “we are a much more informal and

accepting society than we once were” (pg. 18). As a result of changing social mores, the rules that once governed

polite society are no longer as strict, or universally accepted as they were for past generations. “Compared to

Boomers . . . GenMe is twice as likely to agree with the statement There is no single right way to live” (pg. 19).

In place of the commonly held standards of past generations, Twenge argues that what is most important to this

generation are the choices of the individual, leading to a generation of individuals whose attitudes are summed up

by the statement, “As long as I believe in myself, I really do not care what others think.”

Twenge gives examples from modern pop culture that support this theory, both as influences and reflections of

the generation they represent. Movies like the Majestic, Pleasantville, and Bend It Like Beckham, dramatize what

Twenge calls “two interlocking changes: the fall of social rules and the rise of the individual” (pg. 22) She also

uses changes in dance styles, from the rigidity of the Arthur Miller method to the free-form dances of today, to

illustrate this shift.

Twenge acknowledges that many of these culture shifts emerged prior to the appearance of GenMe, but argues

that while previous generations were breaking new ground in their emphasis on the individual, GenMe children

have been born into this cultural assumption. “Unlike the Baby Boomers who learned these new standards as

adults, GenMe takes these attitudes for granted and always has” (pg. 24).

The belief that there is no longer one right way to do things plays out in a variety of ways among members of

GenMe. This generation has not embraced the rules of etiquette that are built around “respect for other people’s

comfort” (pg. 26). Cheating in school has increased (pg. 27). Students are less likely to recognize the authority

of teachers, presuming instead that their perspectives and opinions are on an equal footing with the experts (pg.

29). Former taboos regarding dating and marriage have evaporated (pg. 31). GenMe individuals are more willing

to share their experiences (positive and negative) in explicit detail with anyone who will listen (pg. 37).

Language that was considered profane has become commonplace (pg. 40).

Of particular interest is what Twenge has to say about the Church. “GenMe is also less willing to follow the rules

of organized religion” (pg. 34). She notes declining church attendance since the 1950’s, and particularly low

attendance percentages for 18 to 29 year olds. Twenge references Jeffery Arnett from Emerging Adulthood,

describing “the belief systems of young people as ‘highly individualized’, which he calls ‘make-your-

own’religions.’ He found that only 23% of young people are ‘conservative believers’; the remaining 77% were

agnostic/atheist, deist, or liberal believers (who believe in a religion but question some aspects of it)” (pg. 34).

The churches that have experienced growth are those that “promote a very personalized form of religion” (pg. 35).

Generation Me

By Jean M. Twenge, Ph.D.

© 2006 Free Press (Simon & Schuster)

Executive Summary prepared by Steve Eubanks,

(originally for distribution at Azusa Pacific University, 4/06; revised for general release 8/06)

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These churches’ emphasis on Christ as a personal savior who has a plan for your life play into the individualized

culture of GenMe. As an example, Twenge quotes Rich Warren from ThePurpose-Driven Life, “Accept yourself.

Don’t chase after other people’s approval . . . God accepts us unconditionally, and in His view we are all precious

and priceless” (pg. 35).

Twenge argues that one of the primary contributors to this culture of the individual is the institutionalized

emphasis on self-esteem that began in the 1970s. The self-esteem curriculum that took hold in schools and

churches drove home to GenMe children that they are unique and special individuals, independent of anything

they do or have. Twenge contends that this emphasis went overboard with GenMe, creating the belief that

“feeling good about yourself is more important than good performance” (pg 56-57). A negative outcome of the

overemphasis on self-esteem has been an increase in narcissism (pg 69), in which individuals are “overly focused

on themselves and lack empathy for others” pg. 68).

An extension of the emphasis on self-esteem, has been the message that “You can be anything you want to be”

(pg 72). Twenge notes “We expect our kids to have individual preferences and would never dream, as earlier

generations did, of making every single decision for our children and asking them to be seen and not heard. Not

coincidentally, this also teaches children that their wants are the most important” (pg. 75). (For an excellent

discussion of this topic, see Kidfluence by Anne Sutherland and Beth Thompson.) Twenge references a number

of statistics and publications that indicate that GenMe students have very high expectations for the academic,

professional and economic heights to which they aspire, and then illustrates that many of these confident

expectations will be frustrated by simple realities.

Another message that GenMe has embraced, according to Twenge, is the idea that “You must love yourself before

you can love others” (pg 90). “It is now commonly accepted that you should have your own life and develop your

own identity first, before you settle down with someone” (pg 90). Ultimately this contributes to the conclusion

that the “ultimate value is not to depend on anyone else” (pg 91).

Twenge concludes her description of the characteristics of Generation Me with a list of “Outcomes of the focus on

the self” (pg 94 – 103). These include obsession with appearance, the proliferation of body piercings, extending

adolescence, and materialism.

The Price of Membership

In the second half of her book, Twenge describes a number of outcomes of the emergence of the culture of the

individual in Generation Me. These outcomes effect individual GenMe-ers, their relationships with each other,

and their interactions with people from other generational cohorts.

Depression

Twenge quotes a number of studies and statistics indicating that the rates of major depression and mental illness

have risen dramatically in the last 10 to 15 years (pg. 105-107). Her most significant finding, though, seems to be

that generational differences have significant influence on levels of anxiety and stress. She comments on the

seeming paradox that this generation that has experienced relative economic prosperity, freedom from traumatic

historical events, and distance from war experiences so much anxiety and pain (pg. 109).

Our growing tendency to put the self first leads to unparalleled freedom, but it also creates an

enormous amount of pressure on us to stand alone. This is the downside of the focus on the self –

when we are fiercely independent and self-sufficient, our disappointments loom large because we

have nothing else to focus on. But it’s not just us: Generation Me has been taught to expect more

out of life at the very time when good jobs and nice houses are increasingly difficult to obtain.

All too often the result is crippling anxiety and crushing depression. (pg 109)

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Loneliness and Isolation

Loneliness is a logical, if tragic, outcome of GenMe’s culture of the self. Young men and women who have

grown up having their unique specialness stoked in the name of self esteem, embark on the pursuit of their

individual dreams, and their ability to love themselves. Marriages are put off until dangerously close to the limits

of childbearing age (pg. 113). Advancement at work often requires frequent moves (pg. 114). The result is that

many GenMe-ers experience significant loneliness and isolation, which lead to anxiety and depression (pg. 115).

College and Career

The stress that GenMe young adults encounter in college admissions and in career pursuits are similar.

Throughout their childhood years, GenMe has been told repeatedly that they are special, unique people, whose

opinions are important, and who can achieve anything as long as they follow their dreams. The reality they

encounter, however, is that only a few of them will get into the best colleges, and even fewer into the best

graduate, law and medical schools (pg. 118). This dynamic continues into the job market where GenMe expects

high-paying, high-prestige jobs in which their input is highly valued, and their rapid advancement is assured, and

the reality is rarely consistent with the expectation (pg. 119).

Ecomonics

Twenge makes much of the idea that “things really are harder now. It was once possible to support a family on

one middle-class or even working-class income. No longer” (pg 120). She notes a number of statistics regarding

increases in the cost of living, and the cost of homes across the nation. Again, the reality of what GenMe can

afford in today’s economy is often at odds with their expectations.

Internality and Externality

Twenge introduces the concepts of internality and externality, the former characterizing people who believe that

they are at least to some degree “in control of what happens to (them)”, and the latter characterizing people who

believe that they have no control, and that “other people, luck and larger forces are in control of their fate” (pg

138). She then cites a number of studies and statistics indicating that externality is higher among GenMe, than

among previous generations.

This growth of externality has a variety of implications among GenMe. Twenge first discusses “the fading idea

that collective action will have an effect on politics, society and the world” (pg. 140-141). This demonstrates

itself in declining involvement in social action (pg. 141), declining interest in “political affairs” (pg. 141),

declining interest in the news (pg. 141-142), declining voter participation (pg. 143-144) and declining faith in

government (pg. 145).

Twenge addresses the apparent contradiction between increased self-esteem and increased externality with a

reminder that the self-esteem curriculum under which GenMe was raised “doesn’t lead us to believe we’re in

control because, as one of the self-esteem programs puts it, we were taught to value ‘who we are and not what we

do’” (pg. 148).

The result of this mismatch between their strong internal self-esteem, and the belief that they are not in control of

what happens to them is cynicism (pg 148). Twenge goes on to describe how this cynicism, and externality leads

to a victim mentality in which GenMe tend to find external reasons for any failure, leading again, ultimately, to

anxiety and depression.

“On externality, the research is definitive. People who believe that outside forces determine their

fate are more likely to be depressed and anxious and cope poorly with stress” (pg. 157).

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“externals have weakened self –control and an inability to delay gratification. They are less

likely to work hard today to get a reward tomorrow” (pg. 157).

“research finds that externals consistently achieve less in school, which makes sense, as externals

believe that there’s no point in studying” (pg. 157).

Sex

Twenge spends an entire chapter on the changing sexual mores of Generation Me. Generally, GenMe takes sex

less seriously, viewing limitations on activities that bring pleasure to the individual as anathema. “The tie to

individualism is obvious: do what feels good for you, and ignore the rules of society” (pg. 160). As a result,

GenMe experiments with sex at younger ages than previous generations (pg. 161), approves of premarital sex

more than previous generations (pg. 163), and is more accepting of both oral sex (pg. 166) and casual sex (pg.

168). Twenge attributes the concurrent decrease in teen birth rates to increases in the use of birth control (pg.

176).

Diversity and Equality

Twenge sums up the complexity of GenMe’s approach to diversity and equality in the following way. “GenMe

may have left behind some of the good social rules about politeness, but, following in the footsteps of the

Boomers, we have also left behind some of the bad social rules about everyone living life in the same way, and

minorities and women staying in their ‘place.’ We are less likely to believe in moral absolutes, so we are tolerant

and accept diversity in all its forms” (pg 181).

In Summary

“So here’s how it looks: Generation Me has the highest self-esteem of any generation, but also the most

depression. We are more free and equal, but also more cynical. We expect to follow our dreams, but are anxious

about making that happen. In a recent poll, 53% of high school seniors said that growing up is harder now than it

was for their parents” (pg. 212).

Advice

Twenge lays out suggestions for how to better reach, communicate with, sell to and serve GenMe.

For Employers: Try to understand you GenMe employees, allow them to learn by doing, take advantage of their

comfort with diversity and remember that they do not take criticism well. (pg. 216-221)

For Marketers: Remember that this generation is interested in products that satisfy personal wants, demand for

appearance enhancing products is likely to be high, and recognize that young people today have less money left

over for luxuries. (pg. 221-223)

For Society: Abandon our obsession with self-esteem, and be honest with children about their success and

failures. (pg. 223-227) Give better advice, including the idea that not everyone should go to college. (pg. 227-

228) Support working parents. (pg. 229-235)

Implications for Higher Education

We must remember that the generation of students that is currently making its way through our institution is

complex and varied, and the diversity of perspectives on this generation illustrates how dangerous it can be to

assume that they can be understood in simple terms. Twenge’s view of Generation Me is quite different from that

found in Howe and Strauss’s Millenials Go To College. Whereas Howe & Strauss’s special, sheltered child

becomes a confident, team-oriented, conventional rule-follower; Twenge’s self-oriented child becomes cynical,

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depressed and narcissistic. We must acknowledge that these two, seemingly disparate descriptions are likely just

two sides of the same coin.

The Higher Education community needs to pursue opportunities to broaden our students’ vision. The culture of

the self must be challenged by the culture of community. One of our highest priorities among our undergraduate

students should be to offer the opportunity to live and serve in community, pursue common goals, and discover

the value of putting the needs of another ahead of one’s own needs.

We should also pursue opportunities to ‘speak truth’ to our students. Whether through student conduct

accountability, career counseling, or simple face-to-face interactions, we will do our students a great service by

helping students align their expectations of themselves, their futures, and society with the realities that they will

face.