gender review the way we talk. the power of language language is our means of ordering, classifying...
TRANSCRIPT
The Power of Language
Language is our means of ordering, classifying and manipulating the world
Through language we become members of our human community
Language allows us to verbally communicate what we think and feel
It doesn’t have to control us, but we must realize its significance in our gender communication
1970’s Scholars started studying “speech communities”
These exist when a group of people share a set of norms regarding communication practices
Communication culture exists when people share and understand goals of communication strategies for enacting those goals and ways of interpreting communication
This is easy to see when studying a different language
It is harder to see when it is our language, but a different speech community
Speech communities in Pecs?
Different Speech Communites
Some scholars say men and women live in two different worlds
This is evident in the different forms of communication they use
How we are socialized
Lessons of childplay We learn our gender through our
socialization process--partly through play Researchers are struck by two observations
• Young children almost always play in sex segregated groups
• Girls and boys tend to play different games
Boys Games
Large groups Competitive Clear goals Organize by rules and roles that specify
who does what and how to play An individual’s status depends on standing
out, being better, and often dominating other players
Boys Learn 3 Communication Rules
Use communication to assert yourself and your ideas; use talk to achieve something
Use communication to attract and maintain an audience
Use communication to compete with others for the “talk stage”
Emphasis is on achievement, competition and individuality Boys learn that they must do things to be
valued members of the team Personal relationships are not likely to form
in large groups Competition necessitates that you not show
vulnerability
Girl’s Games Small groups or pairs, no present, clear-cut goals, rules
and roles No analogy for the touchdown Not structured externally
So girls have to talk among themselves to decide what they’re doing and what roles they have. This is more process than product
Have to cooperate and work things out through talking
Three Communication Rules Use collaborative, cooperative talk to create and main
relationships--the process is the heart of the relationships
“Avoid criticizing, outdoing, or putting others down; if criticism is necessary make it gentle
Pay attention to others and to relationships; interpret and respond to feelings sensitively
In a study of 9-14 year old African Americans it was found that:
Boys give orders Boys issues commands, used talk to compete and worked to
establish status hierarchies
Girls make requests Girls learn that communication itself is the goal
Boys learn they have to do something to be valuable
Girls learn they have to be something (good people, cooperative, inclusive, sensitive)
Women Use Communication To. . .
Establish and maintain relationships with others
Use language to share themselves and learn about others
Talk is the essence of the relationship
To achieve symmetry, equality, women often match experiences (you are not alone in how you feel)
Respond to and build on each others ideas in the process of conversing
More interactive patterns with voices weave together to create conversations
Also important is showing support Expressions of empathy and
understanding “you must feel terrible” Focus on feelings rather than content
Also important is maintenance work. Efforts to sustain conversation by inviting others to speak and by prompting them to elaborate “how was your trip?” “tell me about your day?”
Tentativeness
Women use things like verbal hedges “I kind of feel that maybe you are
overreacting” Tag questions
“That was a pretty good movie, wasn’t it?”
Lakoff indicated in the 70’s that this reflects women’s socialization into subordinate roles and low self esteem
This has since been reinterpreted and suggested that her interpretation implies that women’s speech is inferior and based on using male speech patterns as the standard
Now we see women’s speech as a desire to keep conversation open and to include others
Men’s Speech
Men exert control, preserve independence and enhance status
Conversation is an area for proving oneself and negotiating prestige
Two Tendencies
Men often use talk to establish and defend their personal status and ideas by asserting themselves and challenging others
When they show support they do it by respecting the other’s independence and avoiding communication they regard as condescending
Features
Speak to exhibit knowledge, skill or ability To avoid disclosing personal information
that might make a man appear weal Focus on instrumental activity (here’s
what you should do)
Instrumentality
Men are socialized to do things, to achieve goals, get information, discover facts, suggest solutions--sometimes to women it seems as if men don’t care about their feelings
Conversational Dominance
Men really do dominate conversations They reroute conversations by
challenging other speakers, wresting the talk stage, interrupt (men interrupt to gain control, women interrupt to ask questions, show interest
Men express themselves in fairly absolute assertive ways--more forceful, direct, and authoritative--less tentative speech
Men communication impersonally--in general terms that are removed from personal experience and personal feelings
Not highly responsive--give more “minimal response cues” verbalizations such as “yeah” or “umhmmmm” perceived as indicated a lack of involvement, lacking expressed empathy
Misinterpretations
What happens when men and women talk, each operating out of a distinctive speech community--patterns, recurrent misreadings between men and women?