galveston wizard, volume #4: do we have your attention yet?

8/14/2019 Galveston Wizard, Volume #4: Do We Have Your Attention Yet?

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/galveston-wizard-volume-4-do-we-have-your-attention-yet 1/16

Do We Have Your Attention Yet?

(It’s Out There!)

The Balkanization of Galveston Minds

Property in Atlantis Worth Nothing

Cheaper to Walk!

Page 9

0

Page 8

www.galvestonwizard.comlume #4r seen one? Read up!You’re alreadyee issues behind!

More!



What is it you seek?

“Let the Galveston Wizard Guide You.”

Web site: www.galvestonwizard.com Email: [email protected]

Phone: 409.621.2864 Mail: P.O. Box 3467 Galveston Texas 77552-3467

Publisher David Torkelson

Editor In Chief David Torkelson

AdvertisingDavid Torkelson

ColumnistsDavid Torkelson

Sylvester

Captain Chinbeard

Design/Layout

David TorkelsonMingo “X”

PhotographyDavid Torkelson

Imagician

DistributionDavid Torkelson

Press Gorilla

Webmaster David Torkelson

???(Your name could be

right here! Every journey

begins with a first step!)

“Let the Galveston Wizard Guide You.”

Criteria for Submissions

Want to submit something for publication inthe Galveston Wizard? Here are some things

you should keep in mind.

Be ledgible. (Typed submissions only, please,email preferred! Submissions may be edited for content or readability.) 200-400 words for Editorial Article Submissions, up to 100 words for letters tothe Wizard.

Be optimistic. If you present a problem, offer solutions. What’s going wrong, what’s goingright?

Sending artwork? Make copies. Do not sendoriginals as items will not be returned. (why notemail a digital picture of it?)

Send Top Quality stuff. No blurry, small, or otherwise unpublishable pictures. Highestquality jpg or pdf, please!

Give details. If you do provide a picture, besure to include your name, contact, caption, andother pertinent information.

Email submissions to us at:[email protected]

Sending Something snail mail? P.O. Box 3467,Galveston, Tx 77552-3467.

Questions, Comments and Ideas may also bedirected to David Torkelson at 409.621.2864

Greetings From the Galveston Wizard,It a ben f o si w’v ast sn, f t I

lg. W ben fousi u ff n rigi y m sstt puln, i t h i ei u d i c d hi t y d but u n

w w just yu r. (Se li y!) Ou W zd a ben wki fr n i . lzd., y n d l u pu , i h ii d uu in d u d Gln d bd!

Al, w ig u bt o d-i usi d rig yu n, ut s ff qui w, a hi f s pn p fui f h hit, i d fft t o i h d w y d in yu , d

y t m,...m sst...(s)...h w b . Ad w ed yu hl!

It y, h , uli si f i o usi t y e h n h su it’ id puln. H, i t ln l

h lxu isi-d fru f y d yu fl mn: a, i, a , yu sl, d m!

A l, w l n h out f b r Gln, it’ fi iz, it’ usi, d o in h l suui it. Fe e t u, usi h rir t rht a u f yu su u! Ti h E!

-Gln Wzd

G r e e t i n g s F r o m t h e G a l v e s t o n W i z a r d ,



1

The mail slots at the post officesaid it all! They aren’t kidding!

Ah-hah! We thought we’d still

have your attention here!

Help us get to businesses and

content and watch us grow!

Wow! There are so many places that we want to crack open for our readers to understand on the island! If onlythere were more time! (and money!) The inner core willbe better AND stronger! But it will not happen over-night. Make the changes work out in the end! How maywe be of assistance?

Owned & Operated Since 1938 By The Milan Family

7

Table of Contents

Cover

Greetings from the Wizard

Thoughts from Readers

Editorials/Articles

YOU ARE A

You must be! You are apparently clever enough to be

reading your Galveston Wizard Cover-To-Cover! It’s

the only way to do it!Want more? Got an idea? Got something to say?

Say it thru the Galveston Wizard! Email or write us

ideas, pics, articles, rants, or anything else you think

your fellow man could do with hearing.

Contact info page 2!

Volume #4 of the Galveston Wizard, Logo by JRA

Where are we headed? Contact info

See what your fellow reader has to say

Sylvester shows his claws, more

Fishing Trip Exploits!

Cheaper to Wal

Balkanization of Galveston Minds

Editorial

Bill shows us a great day on the boat

The pleasures and pains of vehicular ownership

Read ‘em and weep! It’s not to late

Atlantis, also Imagician with “I’m Ba-Aack!”

WINNER!

Show us your beads...!Mardi Gras Wrap Up

Dazed and ConfusedBig plans for Galveston Nightlife

Server Underground“Watches-You-Eat” tells al

Captain ChinbeardMore sound advice from everyone’s favorite pirate

Island FlavorTable of Content

Know ThyselTable of Content

Off-Island ActivitiesTable of Content

FeaturesTable of Content

A Quick Rundown of just a few of the things you will find in this issue!

Horoscope/CrosswordTable of Content

ie checks out the third issue of theveston Wizard! We wonder if he’s

miring his ad? We put 10,000 copiesover Galveston and Beyond! Check outvity Bar off 21st Strand if you haven’t.. And tell them we sent ya!

h-hah! e t ought e’d st l

haveyour att ntion ere!

Help us get to busines es and

content an w tch us grow!

Isl n FlaTabl of Co te t

Know h ea o o te t

Of f IslandA tivitiTabl of Co te t

eatuTabl of Co te t

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Some Thoughts from Readers,

Wiz,am really excited about Thealveston Wizard. We have tot other artists, writers, pho-graphers and graphics people

volved. The Wizard can be aowcase for local talent.

We need to have a meeting placend time where everyone can getgether for brainstorming ses-ons. This could be really big.he Imagician

ey David!ice publication!nally, someone has put the arts

nd entertainment in arts and

ntertainment for Galveston!

-Ken PettyPublisher, Public Newshttp://www.publicnews.us

Galveston Wizard,

Read your 3rd edition yesterdayat Chili’s. Between the mag andthe Petron, it was a great Sun-day!-ang

Wizard,Let me introduce myself. Myname is Misty Valdez. Born andraised in Galveston, Texas I havebeen entertaining in the Galves-ton/Houston area for over 25years. Having worked @ Garza’s

kon tiki originaly The kon tiki

for more than 20 years thru 4owners and 3 locations, believethat old school drag is still alive& kicking! Having held over 19years, now on my 20th year of

fundraisers for the Aids Coali-tion of Coastal Texas have thesupport of many local buisnessesand individuals. I have had theoppourtunity of performing withmany talented and interestingentertainers, both locally andout-of-state. Many of whom havepassed on to a better place havegiven me the strenghth and cour-age to carry on the art of femaleimpersonation! I was taught togive back to the comunity that

has given so much to me. Still

working @ Robert Lafittes (theoriginal show bar) 24 years aswell as Undercurrent & ThirdCoast beach bar every week-end,believe there is always a home

for old school drag as well asany showgirls. So Galvestoniansand supporters as long as thereare establishments of interest andThe Original Island Diva therewill always be old school dragfor entertainment or charity!-Misty Valdez

Hey There! The paper looks likeit is going extremely well!! I’mso excited for you. Keep up thegood work!

-Rachel

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As always, the Galveston Wizard looks forward to hearing from our readers! Below are just a few of the letters that we received from

readers just like you! We want to hear from you! Send thoughts, ideas, suggestions and corrections to [email protected]

Do We Have Your Attention Yet? G’Wiz: Galveston Wizard

000 issues distributed allross the island and beyond!

ew! Gas ain’t Cheap!

e full past issues online at:ww.galvestonwizard.compport our advertisers or wel cease to exist, and withoutective support fr om you, themmunity, no one could be her e!

Ant and Dalton at the Galvez. We left astack insid and a few copies for them to readwhile they wait for customers at the Valet.

Mailbox#242Male dog, seek-ing female dog togo on long runsdown the beachwith, more.

Must like smell-ing everything,Tennis Balls, andHuman food.

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5galvestonwizard.com Do We Have Your Attention Yet?

No More Island Time!Something about salt water, the waves, or sea gull fecumseems to slow everything down here on the island! Lifeseems to settle into a routine so quickly! If you are sail-ing ahead at top speed with no signs of slowing down,then share the wealth! (think “Waterskiing!”)Sharesome of the secrets of your success! Inspire others to dothings from the remedial to the momentous! Let otherpeople see and hear perspectives and ideas that theyhave never thought of before! When? ...Now! No moreisland time. If you are having trouble moving forwardand quickening yourself or your business, then it is ok toask for help from others, or let us pose your question toother readers! The Galveston Wizard will only begin tobe useful to you when you begin using it!

Diana and Cheryl of-fered job opportunities

and smiles!

thia, Monica anda at the Jobker Check in

There were “Oceans of Opportunity” at a job fair heldat the San Luis Convention Center recently! We hopeto be able to provide you with information on cool up-coming events like this that might be of interest to

you! But nothing is free...you must pay attention.

That is, only if you go to malls where every store isring you a job! With complete company informationlable in the form of handouts, flyers, applications andsionmakers on hand, eventgoers (and jobseekers)ld window shop companies desperate to find goodployees! Yes, it feels good to be wanted.

Think you would have liked to go? Become aware of penings, events, and opportunities. They are happen-every day, but it’s up to you to take the first step. Read

r local publications...pay attention...become aware!



Make sure youcheck out“Jumpingthe Shark!”Galveston’s best(and only!) improvcomedy group.They are KeithMartin, LyssaGraham, HostJay Reynolds,Chris Jones, and

Susannah Holmes.(not shown :RobertPaterno)

Check themout at www.myspace.com/ jtsgalveston

Members Needed!

PreventiveMaintenance

Kenneth S. Gluski, D.D.S., P.C

FAMILY DENTISTRYORTHODONTICS

(409)765-9190 25th & K

HURTSLESS!


f course, I saw plenty stayin’ in one

pot. The whole world passed me by!

nly thing around here more pesky than

ylvester the Cat is those damn meter

aids. I’m afraid to stop at a red light for

ar of them slapping one of those green

ickers under my windshield wiper blade.ufferin’ Succotash!)

alk about sufferin’, all those mental

atients and homeless being trucked and

mped on the island. (ie. The Galveston

aily News. Didn’t know Sylvester could

ad didya?)

an’t get a high-priced tank of gas with-

ut one of their mitts in my wiskers.

asn’t any of their cayote’s explained the

alveston ordinance that you can’t pan-

handle within 200 yards of a gas pump?

That must mean you can panhandle every-

where else? Must be near 2000 of them by

now, all wanderin’ around sayin gibberish,

carrying plastic bags full of plastic forks,

plastic spoons and plastic cups. Some

of them have even started asking aboutmotorized wheel chairs! (Sufferin’ Suc-

cotash!)

Special Election, Special Election! (Suf-

ferin’ Succotash!) Does anyone really

believe the 2% who vote for ex-crack

dealers are gonna change anything except

another fight between those who are “in”

and those who aren’t. Talk about disen-

franchisement! Mercy! Galveston’s spe-

cial, al right? That means “lots of diver-

sity, under tyranny, and a special type of

martial law.” Just sitting in one spot I saw

20 different law enforcement agencies

on the island! And that’s not countingthe

special gestapo meter maid units, and they

still can’t patrol a neighborhood. I think I

just saw a short yellow school bus go by.Hmm, wonder if Tweety is in there with

the rest of our city officials? (Sufferin’

Succotash!)

No wonder I layed around a month!

The system is broken and no amount of

Moody’s, Mitchell’s or Fertitta’s money

can put it back together again. Somethings

got to give, a fat cat can’t find a decent

meal in the garbage no more!

-Sylvester

Sylvester the Cat has lazed around for more than a month now, mostly in one spot. “Lordy!

Lordy! I thought I saw a Puddy Tat!” Sylvester is on the prowl!

On January 9, 2007, UTMBsaved Dennis’ life. He had acerebral aneurysm rupture,and spent 21 days in ICU. Thehospital bill is over $200,000

but he still requires surgery to repair 2 more be-fore they rupture as well!

Benefit for

Join us Saturday April 28, 2007, at11935 Ostermeyer Rd. in Galveston,12 noon - 8p.m. (BYOB), Live Music,Plates of BBQ ($6 donation), a 50/50raffle, and an auction from 2-5pm.Any and all donations greatly appreci-ated! Questions? Call 409.692.0377

(guest columnist)

Don’t let our artists starve!

Dennis Creasy!

any of our readers thought about submitting something

our recent Galveston Wizard Artwork Contest. Un-

tunately, our contest wasn’t “Who (Just) Thinks They

n Draw the Best Galveston Wizard,” or those people

might have won! Check out some

of Galveston’s “cream of the crop!”

(Left: Joaquin

never ceases to

amaze us. We

see great success

in his future!

Murals, custom

work, artwork

requests? Call

him directly at

832.561.0143,

or look for himdowntown on

weekends!

We’ve nevermet anyoneso determinedto succeed...and guesswhat? He’sdoing it! Kev-in’s uniquestyle gracedour second

issue cover!Call him at817.709.7452

Roshawn has amazing artwork

skills! We’ll let his work below

speak for itself. Tattoo designs,

logos? Let him know! Call him at

409.599.7027

There isn’t much,

it seems that Isaac

can’t do. Let him

take your work

to the next lev-

el! Call him at

409.354.8851

(Examples at left

and upper left)

Look for his

work in Phase IIof the Galveston

Wizard Web site

“Power to the People!”

www.galvestonwizard.com

TheReturn of the Wizard

c



“Hey, it’s Charity, I ran into you guys last Saturday at the Poop

Deck swinging some fire around. Hereare some links for

you! Our Website ishttp://www.freewebs.com/pyrospheric

Also here is a direct link to some MardiGras GalvestonPics at http://www.

myspace.com/pyro-spheric ... Enjoy!We have some cool

pics and videos onthere. Our number is832-221-6852. Havea sunshine sparkleday.”-Charity and Kali

7galvestonwizard.com Do We Have Your Attention Yet?alvestonwiz r .com o W e H ave Y ou r tte o e ?

Run-in with old friend sparks day-long fishing trip!

Make sure you are fishing

legitimately! Get your fish-

ing license! Chin gives us our

documentation! For License

information call (800)792.1112

That’s right! Turns out our friend Bill had

arted and now owns and operates a Fishing

uide Service!

We told him about the Galveston Wizard

d the rest is history! (But still in the future

r you reading this now!)

Two Mondays later we were

mbarking on our first trip out

sea, armed with beer, bait,ds and reels we’ve heard so

uch talk about. (from fisher-

en)

For the first time ever, “we”

ere the one’s fishing and float-

g lazily in a boat while “oth-

” people were making their

ay down I-45, driving past

cean and Dimitri’s Cabaret.

Hey, they’re legitimate land-

arks!)

Aaahhh! This is relaxing!

Riding around Galveston Island in a boat

as quite amazing! Going under the Cause-

ay was particularly exciting, while the vari-

s docks, boats, and other sites from this

credible new realm had us thinking that...

“WHOA!!!!! Got one! She’s a beauty!

Someone get the net!” Chaos ensues as a

member of our team began his struggle with

a fish! Nice Catch!

Whether fishing is second nature to you

or you’ve never even been on a boat, spend-

ing a beautiful day with

Bill’s Fishing Guide

Services will be sure

to have you catching agood time!

Want to have a

memorable fishing ex-

perience of your own?

(and possible bragging

rights) Give Bill’s Fish-

ing Guide Service a

call! Guided Tours usu-

ally start at about $400

for the day, depending

on what you want to do,

how many people, etc.

Call Bill directly at (409)789.1457 for

more information, or you can email him at

[email protected]

Create a unique and memorable experi-

ence! Schedule your adventure today! (And

tell Bill the Galveston Wizard sent you!)

“Hold on to

your baits!” Billyelled over the

engine he had

just fired up...

soon it was full-

speed ahead!”

Your odds of winning 168 million dollars may notbe great with a big city lotto, but your odds of win-ning $40,000 are great with our fictitious GalvestonLotto Idea!Proceeds from the lotto benefit the GISD and othereducational programs like E.S.L. (English as a Sec-ond Language) Courses or GED courses.Hell, it’d probably catch on so fast that we might fig-

ure out what to do with the education system itself!(Or someone who can.)That, and stories across the island from cool thingspeople you know spending winnings locally. Whatwould you do with $40,000? A cruise, first of all!What do we need to start this thing...a “non-profit?”Miles of Red tape? Let’s get to cutting, people!

Galveston Lotto Idea!mediately after taking this photo, theotographer went back to pretendingwas asleep as his boat crept slowlyng. More proof of your Galvestonard bringing you quality photogra-

y! Why not send us samples of yours?

(Don’t be dumb. Please obey allws in their literal sense at all times!)

Be a good

friend! Adrift

at Sea for

more than a

few hours?

Watch your-

self and your

friends open

up and start

talking about

all kinds of

i n t e r e s t i n g

(or bizarre)

things on

their minds!

Be sure to

listen to whatthey have to

say!

Glen at Galveston Bait & Tackle

At the Causeway gave us the

goods! “Best Bait in Town!” We

worked hard to resist eating

our newly-acquired shrimp!




Cheaper to Walk Vehicular ownership is a

ge responsibility. It is also a

ge investment (of time, re-

urces, maintenance, etc!)

Owning a car and keeping it

al (and yourself out of trouble)

true test of financial responsi-ty. But there is more to it than

ing the gas tank! (Which will

t you an arm and a leg as is!)

Some see fit to gamble

ly, but instead of “scratch-

’s”they drive around the island

hout consideration of the

ll-thought-out standard driv-

requirements that one must

ve to operate a vehicle legally!

hese fees and taxes help main-

n the roads, amongst many

er things!)You may have to buy your

, but you can pretty much

ve it anywhere around the is-

d for free. (Parking is another

tter.) That being said, there

several requirements (listed

ow) that one must meet in or-

to avoid being caught “ridin’

ty.” (With alcohol/drug free,

axed, alert, and law-abiding

driving being “clean”)

Another necessary (and con-

siderable) evil of owning a horse-

less carriage is car insurance.

This legally-required gamble

protects you and other motorists,

pedestrians or property from run-ning into (no pun intended) finan-

cial ruin in case of an accident.

They will ticket you for not

having all of the requirements

to drive legally, and you will be

kicking yourself that you now

have to make the required in-

vestments AND pay a dumbass

tax for not having your “stuff”

together.

Looking for a used car? Con-

tact “Cash Cars” at 936.718.8795

for more information on finding acar that is right for you!

We will be talking about

Island Transit and other traveling

avenues and options in upcoming

issues, as well as providing you

with tips and relevant businesses

that might interest you.

Got an idea, suggestion, op-

portunity, or story on your travels

in Galveston? Let us know!

Ahhhh! Driving “guilty-conscience-free.” There’s nothing like it! If youhandle your business right, you too can enjoy this glorious feeling! (Butit’ll cost ya!) Let the Galveston Wizard guide you through a few of thethings you will need to consider!

p-happy with hard-to-remove stickers!n effort to keep street parking “jalopy,” the impending tow usually forcescular repair or further clarification thats is my primary mode of transportationdispite her looks, she runs like a top!”

Every new beginning comes from some otherbeginnings end! Is there something the city can doto run a “Fix or Forfeit-for-Pennies” Campaign onabandoned houses? Where market rates drop,middle income families can thrive! T.A.I.

Dept. of Public Safety. (DPS)

st I-45 feeder headed to

on. Know what you are doing

d the wheel! Get your license!

Registration is still at the old court-

house downtown. We still think it

would make a good high school! It’s

perfect!

Make sure that your State Inspection

is up to date. Stop by Hick’s Auto-

motive at 8428 Teichman Road. Call

409.744.4374 for more info!

Kaboom! We all ducked down! What

was that!? Preventive maintenance is

an essential part of vehicle ownership..

but there will always be surprises!

(but hard to do with groceries!)

Quick Quests with you car:Learn the secrets of the One-Way Streets (What secrets? Exactly!)

Drive the Seawall

Travel West on the Seawall until you reach the Galveston Island State

Park, check out one of the unique beach access points along way

Go to East Beach (East on Seawall) and drive your car on the sand

Travel North at 51st and Broadway onto Pelican Island

Explore the Airport, Schlitterbaun, Moody Gardens, and Flight Mu-

seum on Stewart (We’re working on coupons for those for you)

Take the Ferry To Bolivar via Ferry road on East End of Island



Karen B. from Albuquerque New Mexico foundherself the proud owner of a sweet G’Wiz T-shirtwhen she was the first to recognize RobertRodrigues From DiBellas in our last issue! Willyou be the winner this time? Better Hurry!

h and Duke at Wild Wings Cafewntown! It was indeed all of the wingscould eat! (Urp!)


he Balkanization of Galveston MindsThey are slipping throughr fingers. They are tired, theyweary, and at some point theye to believe that they cannotcomfortably on the island.y are people that are Balkan-g from the island.American Heritage Diction-defines “Balk” (the root wordhe imposing “Balk-anization”d we’ve chosed for this ar-) as “To stop short and refuseo on”, “to thwart, check,” orindrance or setback.”Word has reached them of s of high-paying jobs wherer innovations and insightsbe welcomed with arms wide

n. Also, there is family callingm South Carolina, with prom-

of new beginnings and hopee.Land flowing with milk and

ey...just over the causeway.

“Just pack up and come on.”And they are.Many landlords run rampant

serfdoms unchecked, while theschool systems, local businesses,and city and government organi-zations struggle to keep up withthe ever-evolving Island climatearound them! (we are too!)

Large corporations sludgetheir way across the island with“big city” policies while thierlocal General Managers watch,bound and gagged of all “IslandCustomization” possibilities.

Employers are looking foremployees in all the wrong pools,or with such blinders that thoseactually in those pools are oftenotherwise occupied with remedialbut necessary jobs, thier skillsshelved...for now. (More tea,anyone?)

The old are afraid of what the

young will do with power, and theyoung feel that they are not beingadequately prepared and informedfor their inevitable turns at it.

Should an islander find them-selves getting a ticket (or series of tickets), the stress from that onlybuilds upon the otherwise already

exixtent difficulty of finding one’s

Nitche, and ultimately, their hap-piness on the island.

It is a challenge many face.Do not give up. You are not alone.Make yourselves visible so thatother like-minded people can findyou! We can do it together! Makesucceess happen here for your-

self! We’re here to help!

...to our last issue’s winner!

Do you knowwho this isand where heworks?

(The first correctemail answer we get will win afree G’Wiz T-shirt!

Email us at:

[email protected])

Congratulations...

(back)

(front)

Teri

A new life awaits?



Property on Atlantis Worth NothingThe City of Galves-recently inquired’s residents (withrvey) as to “whatht requirementswhere” that the

ple imagine forr growing islande. Their hope isetermine a heightter plan.First of all, a block k from the Seawall,ne can see theh. Anyone con-

cerned about “breezeblockage” ought toimagine that “breeze”as hurricane gusts com-ing from the gulf.

What if we can cre-atively guide hotels andother would-be buildingstructures on the island,and pair them withprojects like Seawallupkeep and updating?(Seawall Master Plan?)A huge wall of build-ings, fortifying and

beautifying our Seawallmight not be a bad idea.

Driving East downSeawall (the numbersgetting smaller) onebuilding has alreadysprung up, apparentlyright in Seawall Bou-levard’s Path! Maybewe could get a similarbuilding or structureto shade the eveningsun that blinds peopleas they are leaving theisland? (Squint!)

We can think of afew city “Master Plans”that we don’t want tosee for Galveston...Atlantis or Venice arethe first two that cometo mind.

Let Galveston moveforward as an islandon the cutting edge of ingenuity by creativelyembracing change andusing the opportunityto address long termisland concerns!

Questions about the survey?

GET ALarge Bucket of Balls

In Last Month’s Issue...

...we requested a drivingrange on the island untilour new-and-improvedcourse opens! Now thatwe have one, you need tomake sure you go there!(Check out the coupon wenegotiated for you at left!)

(For the price of a medium!)

It’s time to get those clubs out of the attic!

Call Jan Direct: 409-419-0784

+

=

Keys to a successful

real estate transaction . . .

JanMcGovern

21st Century Technology

+

REALTOR ® -ASSOCIATE

(or a medium bucket for a small if you like your current handicap)

I’m Baa-ack!” I’m a BOI.No, I wasn’t Born On the Island – I

g On The Island! Maybe the differenced be delineated by BOTI. Saying thatn “Islander By Choice” (IBC) would be

gous to saying that I’m an alcoholic bye. I’m addicted to Galveston, and havesince I first crossed the old causeway in theer of 1950. There are only two places onwhere I felt like I really belonged – the onlyI felt at home – Galveston and Terlingua.

sland and the weird, wild, wonderful littlecommunity are on the same parallel. If

ut your finger on a map and draw a line duefrom Galveston to a point just west of BigNational Park, you’ll find Terlingua.

I felt comfortable in Greenwich Villagean Francisco in the early ‘60s. I feltortable in San Antonio, Austin and New

ns, but I never felt at home in any of those.

My employment on The Island began inat Todd’s Ship Yard, Falstaff Brewery, then,

Galveston Fire Department. I discovered thewriting at Galveston College in 1970, andofessional journalism career began at theston Daily News 32 years ago.

Alternative journalism had always beenraction to me – an attraction that becametible when Joe Murphy, Pete Fredrecksenteve Long lured me away from The Newsn offer of complete editorial freedom andportunity to do some kick-ass journalism

Between Magazine; an irreverent andimes muckraking fortnightly rag that hadted an almost immediate cult following.

Other alternative publications came and went.Port of Entry scared me. It was aestheticallyand editorially superior to our rag. Murphy,Fredericksen and Long weren’t bothered by it.We just kept on keeping on and staying afloat

while POE sank below the journalistic waves.Stories published by In Between led tothe firing of a fire marshal, the forced retirementof a district judge, and the imprisonment of theexecutive director of the MHMR (the entire

board of directors should have gone to prison).I hate to admit it, but my investigative

reporting was a miniscule part of In Between’s popularity. It’s irreverent sense of humor and its penchant for barbecuing Sacred Cow is whatmade the magazine what it was. The “CaféGossip” column that Steve Long cranked outevery other week was consistently the mostread item in the entire publication. Everyone

wanted to keep up with the latest adventures of an adulterous duo, known only as “The Hot TubCouple.” Steve never revealed the true identity of the man and woman involved.

It was sometimes surprising, especiallyfor a writer who took himself way too seriously,when a spur-of-the-moment quickie story would

be more widely read and enjoyed than a featurestory that had taken weeks of interviews andresearch. One time, up against a deadline, Icranked out a quickie, “Honky Tonkin’ on Hwy6,” after my wife-to-be and I spent a night of bar hopping on that stretch of road. The story was so

popular, it inspired the “First (and only) Annual

Honky Tonkin on Hwy 6 Bus Tour.” The Strandcrowd borrowed a double decker London Bus,and spiced up the nightlife in the hinterlands.

Now, I’m back and will be freelancing(with the emphasis on free) for The GalvestonWizard. Mainly, I’ll be covering the nightlife,arts and entertainment scenes with words.My alter ego, The Imagician, will provide the

photographic evidence to support my reportage.By the time this issue hits the streets, he’ll havereplaced the camera he drowned at pier 19, whenhe walked off the dock while lining up a shot of a brown pelican.

Over the years, I’ve become so addictedto covering local government and politics thatI attend meeting and workshops when I don’thave to. I’ll occasionally write stories of interestcoming out of Galveston City Hall.

My turf is downtown, north of Broadway between 20th and 26th Streets, with an occasionalexcursion to the party scene on East Beach.I’ll be the old, bespectacled, goateed guy with

the Canon (the camera, not the artillery piece).Fell free to accost me and tell me what you’reinterested in. What do you want to read about?What do you want to see?

The Wizard likes to think of his publication as “Edutainment.” I prefer “Entercation.” He prefers the combinationof education + entertainment, while I prefer entertainment + education.

What’s the difference?Say the words slowly, out loud.

“Edutain” and “Edutainment” don’t sound nearlyas sexy as “Entercate” and “Entercation.”

One thing The Wiz and I agree on the

that “We just want to have fun.” If you have anyideas for phun photo pheatures, E-mail me at [email protected].

By Gordon Haire

Bring in or mention this coupon and

Call the Department of Plan-ning and Community Develop-ment at 409.797.3660 for moreinformation.


Island Driving RangeValid only at the

Located on Stewart Road

(Near the back entrance to Premiere Cinema!)



how us your beads and we’ll give you some T.I.T.S.!

There are many

hings Interesting To

ee at Mardi Gras. (or,

T.I.T.S” for short)

First of all, did you

ake any effort to check

ut some of the 3 million

ings going on across

e island? (A quick way

tell is

You had to have no-

ced all of the celebra-

ons, parades, events,

ncerts and hooplah.

he countless cars,

ople (some less im-

aired than others), and

mosphere’s generated

something that is best

xperienced firsthand.

There were someteresting developments

this years events, and

e’re not just talking

out the buckets of

ads, beer, and fun that

ere consumed, thrown

had throughout the

wo weekends.

Our primary staff

ent most of their

ours doing what they

o most weekends that

ere aren’t thousands

would-be-Mardi-Gra-

ans, and that is work!

Luckily, the events,

arades, shows, private

arties and antics lasted

ost of the day most

the weekend on both

eekends.

We tackled the cele-

ation with much hope-

lness and resolution,

ut were almost over-helmed by the listings

of events and happenings

for the celebration.

We made every effort

to integrate ourselves

and support those sup-

porting the event bring-

ing so much of a boost

to the island economy,

but found that there will

be much work, prepara-

tion, and cooperation

with organizers to be

able to adequately guide

our readers thru such an

amazingly complex event

as Galveston’s Mardi

Gras next time.

What became of the

arrested photographer for

the Daily News? Why

did we sometimes feellike there was all this

money around and we

weren’t getting our take?

One thing is certain,

we will be at next year’s

Mardi Gras celebra-

tion, and we will have

the lowdown on where

you should go and what

things you should check

out.

Ultimately, though,

the decision to partake in

the fun or hide from the

sun is up to you.

Any ideas, thoughts,

suggestions, or stories

from Mardi Gras? Shout

it thru the Wizard!

Put innovative ideas

and suggestions out there

for your community and

community leaders to

consider when begin-

ning plans for next years’celebration!

by Someone Somebody

Paul and Brad Revamiping the Brickworkat American National. “Did you do all of that?!” we said in mock amazement whilelooking upward.Their laughter told us they got our joke!

Not 3 hours ago, this tablein Gravity Bar had stacksof Galveston Wizards andParrots on it! Miss your copy? See the entire issuefull-color online atwww.galvestonwizard.com


...who got copies of the 10,000of our last issue we distributedacross Galveston, but we do know“CERTAIN” people that “MAY”receive direct distribution!

Bucky Lastards! BE SEEN! BEHEARD! USE IT OR LOSE IT!

y

People, Square up on all of your

debts! We know it sucks, but Imag-ine the weight lifted off of your

shoulders! (and the money put

into your friends’ pockets and out

of their thoughts as well!) Owe no

man anything!

Pocketbook Peace!

“Ahhhh! You guys! That is not

funny.” Idiocy levels were at

medium to medium high levels.

Mardi Gras ladies exchange

pleasantries at Gravity Bar.

“Doomp, Dat-Datta-Datta-Doomp-

DOOMP!” Parades, marching

bands and floats were a common

site during the celebraton.

The not-envied-but-highly-respected-and-appreciated cleanup efforts beganquickly when the madness ended!



B r e a k f a s t

L u n c h

L a t e

D i n n e r

Sure, we Dim a lot! (Sum of you will get it.) But we’ve gotto cover our bases first! Takethe surprise out of breakfastwith one of Henry’s delicious

Surprise Burritos on 38thand Broadway!

Considered one of theunofficial best steaks on theisland. Dibella’s is where

it’s at! See their ad on thissame page! Coincidence?Try it tonight! 31st and P.

We gotta start with Sliceson this one! Always Goodto catch up with our GoodFriend David Nielsen over atasty pizza! 24th and Market

Law and Order on one bigscreen, football on another!

It’s true. They did pay extra fotheir extra bacon order! Hodo we know? We were sitting

next to them! Dutch Kettle on36th and Seawall is yumm24/7!

Restaurant GuideOne question that plagues the

inds of our readers at least once a

y is “Where should we go eat?”

From here the scenario varies

idely. For many the choice is sit-

own (full-service), to-go, delivery

r www.takeoutgalveston.net!), their

cation on the island, the contents of

eir fridge and/or wallet, and more!This entire process usually takes

o more than a second, is often be ac-

mpanied with the counter-phrase, “I

on’t know...what do you want to eat.”

These deliberations usually con-

nue until someone pulls something

om what we’ll call thier “subset” of

aces they will go or want to go. This

t is usually very short, and is often

complete.

The Galveston Wizard loves food!

nd we love finding great places that

serve it! In fact, if we come into your

restaurant, it is because we like you

and like what you have to offer! And

we want to be able to promote their

businesses as well!

If any of you don’t know the

world of owning and/or operating

a restaurant, it is wildly hectic and

active! Deliveries, shipments, em-ployees, customers, cooking the food

(duh!), and the seamless and flawless

flow of all of them together! Don’t

ignore it! Watch it yourself next time

you are eating out somewhere!

We look forward to the opportu-

nity to bring you many more exciting,

unique, or downright good restaurants

that you should definitely check out in

the issues to come! (And be sure to tell

them you saw them in the Galveston

Wizard.)(Please visit www.galvestonwizard.com for advertising opportunities)

Enjoy DiBella's Lunch Specials T-F, 11-2

Cash or Check onlyFor Reservations Call 409.763-9036Hop on Ave P (One of Galveston's Secret One-Way Highways) and drive right on down to us at 31st!"

Catering Also Available For Your Events

W h er e t h e l oc a l s e a t." "

B e l l a 's Di IT ALI AN REST AURANT

Galv eston Is land 31st a nd Ave P

M e atb al ls M o' B etta h

ention the Galveston Wizard when making reservations for special V.I.P. treatment




“Won’t it be sweetwhen we figure outhow to help uniteall of Galveston’sMusic Scene?An island to itself,now doesn’t thatsound “clean!”Working together if you know what wemean?! .....”

....Now play thatback and let’s hear it again! If onlyyou people wentto concerts, we’dthrow one for you!...well, do you?

Many people looking toake Night Moves in Galves-n often find themselves in auandary...”There are too manymn good bars, clubs andntinas on the island to chooseom!”

We should know! Manyeetings, post-work-unwindings,

end-comraderings, or sig-ficant (or nonsignifigant) otherunts have taken place in most of em across the island. We havegged thousands of dollars in tiprs and registers across the island.

We are sure we are still missingme good one’s too!)

Events, open mic’s, drink ecials abound across the island,d spring up like those electronicoles out of their respective hid-g spots!

So what is a publication too when it’s bars and club scene

appears unavailable to them andleaves them “with the rubber mal-let in their hand with no advertis-ing quarters?” We go out less. Andnot because we want to! We’drather be at your bar/club/or speak easy, or at least talking about itto our readers, but if the money’snot there, neither can we...be. (as

often).Businesses advertising with

us essentially makes us their streetteam! (with hours, specials, etc.!)

Wonder why we don’t have10 pages on the bar scene inGalveston every issue? Becausewe don’t have the advertiser fund-ing to print those pages...yet! Andwe are seeking for people andbusinesses to help us make thathappen for you, the reader!Thank you all again for your con-

tinued support of the GalvestonWizard! See you where it’s at!

DAZED AND CONFUSED

“Poomph!”

“Poomph!”

“Poomph!”

(Teep!)

(Teep!)

(Teep!)

2 shows @ 9 PM & 11PM,Five Dollar Cover per showSaturday Nights“2 Queens & a Diva”

Don’t Miss...


A lack of understandingleads us away from unity...

Share your understandingwith your fellow readers!

Another Fun-Filled Night at the Gravity Bar off of 21st and Strand!

And you still haven’t been to the Lucky Lounge on 83rd and Stewart?(Yeah, we’re talking to you! And tell them the Wizard sent you!)

(advertisement)

A l b u m

a t H a

s t i n g s ! A v a i l a b l e

N o w

! S u p p o r t

y o u r

l o c a

l a r t i s t s

a n

d w a

t c h t h e i r s u c c e s s g r o w

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Miss CC Rider

Miss Micahla Vaccaro Miss Micahla Vaccaro

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Miss Carmen Can-Too Miss Carmen Can-Too

Yes!



Server UndergroundTuesday Lunch by Watches-You-Eat

Whelp! It’s official.

ursdays have become the new

day. (or at least as far as servers

concerned)

Weekends, especially

day nights now seem to be

oted to the crowd that doesn’t

ally go out. (And we know for

act that very few of our fellow

vers will be gracing us with

r presence, as they are most

ly working too!)

Thursday night now seems

be the night that most people

think there will not be anyone

else going out to eat. These like-

minded people usually come in

by the droves! (What does that

even mean?!) That paired with

the fact that management doesn’t

normally go with the “overstaff

for safety” mentality as much on

the budding “cash-cow” night.

I guess the real observation

is that the Thursday night formula

is closer to where I want it, as far

as tables-to-stress level ratio goes.

Makes the shift go by quicker!

So how do we use

this information? How do we

maximize productivity for

ourselves? It’s obvious that the

restaurant needs “All hands on

deck” when it is busy, but don’t

forget that you can make your

schedule work for you, instead of

vice-versa.

By decreasing the number

of servers working, managers

and schedule-makers can actually

increase the value of a shift. (by

making it worth more of their

servers’ time)

And let us also not forget

that time off of work is almost

as important as time on at work

to your durable and resilient

team. Don’t put a great team in

jeopardy by relying too much on

your “Star Performers” or “Any

Schedule Workers” or you may

lose them to fatigue, exhaustion,

or un-nameable bitterness issues

that don’t often end well.

Well, that’s all I’ve got, just

thought I’d put that out there...

T.F.Hippie’s(Color)

Got an article idea? A scenario so hilarious it must be shared with others in the industry? 200 words!

“A well-known proposition on the legalization

of cannabis[4] was entitled Proposition 420.This bill promoted use of marijuana for medicalpurposes, stating that persons possessing orcultivating marijuana for personal medicalpurposes with approval by a physician is notsubject to conviction.”

Happy 4/20LEARN THE HISTORY OF

Marijuana Prohibition

w w w . m a r i j u a n a . c o m

...your thoughts on the issue?

Writeus some-

thing

[email protected]

See updatesJust called your cell and couldn’t get a hold of you...I really wanted to talk to you about the ad before you went to

print. If you are doing the same ad as last time, I wanted to take away the fun gifts for smart adults...let’s stick with

COOL TOYS & FUN GIFTS. Also we need to make sure our hours are correct...Mon-Sat 12-6 AND Sun 12-6...

With Buy yourself something today...Let’s Change to...Drop In for a Laugh and receive a FREE GIFT with mention

of this GALVESTON WIZARD AD!! I really wanted to do some new pics but maybe they will look better in color

if that’s what you are planning. I really loved the idea of the plane they could cut out and fold with the shops name

on the wing...I wish you would have told me about the deadline sooner than the day before layout...I am sending

you some possible pics in JPG...maybe you can use one or two to replace the pic of you holding the Dunny and the

Mongers??? It’s your call, just let me know how it turns out.

Thanks,


Marijuana Myths”

“Exposing

nch, Munch. Learn, learn.” We recently be-a subscription to the Galveston County Dailys! They cover the whole county AND get itdaily! We love it! Support your Daily News

ey support the community that you live in!



Etiquette Advice ColumnCaptain Chinbeard’s

aptain Chinbeard!

ou’ve got to help me! I’m try-g to organize a wine tast-g party for those that haveo knowledge of wines! Howan I prepare and get people

come to this unique event?nd should there be a dressode? snacks? entertain-ent? I want it to be a fun, in-rmal look at wine tasting!

Merci!urp le Chits,renchman,so, Aspiring Wine Connoiseur

hoy there, Frenchy! have pillaged and plundered

r many years now. Some

places weren’t even on thecoast-those scurvy rats didn’t see THAT one coming at all! I be a man of learnin’, so inme adventures, I learned that the best parties arr the onesthat stand out from the rest.I’ve got somethin’ good in me pantaloons fer ye, Frenchy.Every scallywag in Galves-ton will be talkin’ about ye af-ter this! Here it is: Most civi-lized folk go to a wine tasting party expectin’ wine. Ye canspend all the dubloons in yer treasure chest on the fanci-est bleedin’ bottle of wine,and ye know what? They’ll go away talkin’ about how harrd ye tried and forget ye

in a fortnight. So here is the

halyard that’ll hoist ye to theheights of society: Grog.Grog is a mixture of rum and water, or rum and beer. Theimportant part is the rum. And make sure ye get real rum (the dark stuff). Rum isbetter than wine, because yeget drunk faster! As farr asthe dress code goes, makesure everyone wears their finest dubloons, and lots of GOLD. The wenches should wear bikinis, if going naked isnot an option for them like it isfor many stuck-up landlubbin’ damsels. Snacks! Nobody likes those little crackers,and nobody likes little bits of cheese-we aren’t bilge rats,

are we?! A few casks of salt

pork and seabiscuits should suffice! Find ye an accordi-on player for entertainment.If one isn’t available, drink yer rum and go plunder! But watch out for the Coasties! They’ll ruin yer party like they ruined me profession-I haveto take on a second job as acolumnist because of thosescallywags. ARRRR!!!

Fair winds an’ profitable plun-derin’ -Captain Chinbeard

Need advice? GOOD. I be full of it!

Email me:

[email protected]

Lesli Gallery

Sam Powell

from Dallas

shows us his

“To Do List”

for his visit

to the island!

Good idea!

Setting goals

for yourself

and meetingthose goals

can be very

rewarding!

Why not make

one today!

reet2413 Mechanic St

0Galveston 7751

Open

T409.763.6370

Art & Custom Framing is Our Business.Customer Service is Our Pleasure!

Located At

Your Source for Custom Framing and Unique Art!

Three men rented out a motel room for anight. The room cost $30 total so each manpaid $10.Later the manager of the motel showedup and realized that the room they rentedshould have only cost $25. He gave thebell-boy $5 and told him to go and give itto the men. The bell-boy got half-way tothe room, and realized he couldn’t split $5between three men, so he pocketed $2 and

gave each of the three men $1.So now, each man has paid $9 for the roomand the bell-boy has $2.3 x $9 = $27 (paid by the men) + $2 (keptby the bell-boy) = $29Where is the other dollar from the original$30 that they paid?

Wrap your mind around this one!


“Much Love!” to Jessicafor sending us pics onthe evening when ourcamera was droppedfor the last time! Wheredoes one get a digitalcamera fixed anyway?




Galveston Seawall Mural Fundraiser

We know youare used to 32pages!

Want morepages?

More coolstuff?

To makemore pages

we needadvertisers topromote andideas to share!

You’re just spoiled!

“Awww!”trust you enjoyed our

t full-color issue! We

k forward to returning to

u soon... be sure to tell

ur friends about us!

Next Issue:Ageism

Compare/Contrast of U.S.A./Roman Em-

Galveston Seawall Mural Fundraiser

Marc Phillips!

Want more now? Check out our Website for Back Issues, Resources, etc. at...

Our First Event Revealed!

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galveston wizard, volume #4: do we have your attention yet?

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