futures 25 coping with stress @ work and @ home

Achieving Life BalanceAchieving Life Balance

Coping with Stress @ Work and @ HomeCoping with Stress @ Work and @ Home

Copyright – Not to be reproduced. – Provided by Power Link Dynamics TR - 2

Seminar Goals • Eliminate any misconceptions about stress

management • Learn to avoid or eliminate stressors

when possible • Build upon your current coping resources

and stress-management skills • Develop new coping resources


Stress is Life

Worth Remembering …

“If you want to avoid worry live in a day-tight compartment and don’t stew about the future. Just live each day until bedtime.”

- Dale Carnegie


Stress Busters

Questions Worth Answering:

• What is creating stress in your life?• What can you do about it?• What are you prepared to do about it?


Life is About WIIFM’sQuestions Worth Answering:

• How satisfied are you with where you are in your career, your home or social life?

• If you could make a change in your career, your home or your social life what would it be?

• What do you need to do to make that happen?


What’s Your WIIFM?


“Those who cannot tell what they desire or expect still sigh and struggle with indefinite thoughts and vast wishes”

- Ralph Waldo Emerson


The Attitude Challenge• Does everyone have an attitude?• Are they all the same?• Do you own 100% of yours?• Does your attitude have an impact on the

outcome in any given situation?


Attitude


“Change what you can – influence what you will – and give up all of those things that you cannot control”


Change Model

C – Commit – to a new beginning

H – Habits – break old and start new

A – Action – take one step at a time

N – Never – never give up – be persistent

G – Goals – set SMART targets

E – Evaluate – your plan & reward yourself


Good Habits = Good Results


“As long as you keep doing what you’ve been doing then you are going to keep on getting what you’ve been getting. Change the habit – change the result”

- Zig Ziglar


Stress?

Questions Worth Answering:

• What is stress?• What do we know for certain about

stress?• What do we know for certain that can

help us cope with the negative health side-effects of stress?


Relax – You’re Alive


“Bless this stress. It helps me see that I’m such a mess”

- Loretta LaRoche


Functional

Dysfunctional

ExcitementComfort

Boredom

Low Balanced High

Frustration

Stress Level


Three Methods for Coping with Stress

• Eliminate the stressor or change your response to it

• Use the coping resources available to you• Develop new coping resources


1. Most Critical Issues

2. 4. Least Critical Issues

3.

Able to Change Difficult to Change

Hig

h P

rior

ity

Low

Pri

orit

y


Most Critical Issues • Your most critical stress issues are those

you feel are a high priority to change and you are able to change them. If it is blocking you from achieving your goals then it should be a high priority.


Least Critical Issues • Your least critical stress issues are those

with a low priority and are very difficult to change. For those stressors that you can change - develop a plan. For those stressors that you can’t change - than you need to change your response to them.


Balance


“Much of the stress that people feel doesn’t come from having too much to do. It comes from not finishing what they’ve started.”

- David Allen


The New Reality


“I thought 24/7 was a new kind of Mac’s Milk not a new way of life. This new technology was suppose to improve the quality of our lives – not compound it”


Just Say No


“Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is the noble art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists of eliminating the non-essentials.”


My De-Stressor


“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you are thinking about it”

- Mary Engelbreit


Relationship Coping Resources

• Problem Solving -- the ability to deal directly with the difficult situations you face and make positive changes to resolve them.

• Communication -- the ability to share thoughts and feelings with others in order to promote mutual understanding, even under difficult circumstances.


Relationship Coping Resources

• Closeness -- the degree to which you have developed a supportive social fabric in each area of life

• Flexibility -- the degree of organization in your life and how comfortable you are with unstructured and unpredictable situations


Personal Coping Resources• Self-Esteem -- feeling good about yourself

and perceiving yourself as having inherent worth as a person

• Mastery -- feeling competent and in control of your life

• Social Support -- having a network of friends and family you can count on


Personal Coping Resources• Spiritual Beliefs -- believing in a set of

values external to yourself• Nutrition -- dietary habits and motivations• Exercise -- physical activity that maximizes

or minimizes your ability to cope with stress


Problem Solvingrefers to your ability

to deal directly with

the difficult situations you face

and make positive changes

to resolve them.


To Improve Your Problem Solving Skills

• Deal with the problem as soon as you perceive it

• Define the problem carefully• Separate people from the problem• Separate emotions from the problem


To Improve Your Problem Solving Skills

• Determine your desired outcome• Make a list of creative and practical

solutions• Don’t get trapped into thinking there is

only “one” resolution


Problems


“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.”

- Theodore Rubin


Communicationis the ability to share thoughts

and feelings with others in order

to promote mutual

understanding, even under

difficult circumstances.


Communication Patterns• Gender Patterns• Generational

Patterns• Geographic

Patterns

• Cultural Patterns• Educational

Patterns• Occupational

Patterns


Communication Realities• You cannot not communicate • Whenever contact is made

communication occurs • Meanings are in people not in words • Meanings cannot be transferred from one

mind to another … only words can be transferred.


“We only hear half of what is said to us,

understand only half of that, and remember only

half of that.”

--Mignon McLaughlin


Active Listening• Listen to understand, not to judge• Focus on the message sent• Use “reflective listening” to summarize

the other person’s message• Praise others for sharing


Listening Realities • Humans have the ability to listen at a rate

of _______________ words per minute • Humans have the ability to speak at a rate

of _______________ words per minute • That gives humans ________ words per

minute to tune out.

- Dr. Ralph Nichols


Effective Speaking• Use “I” statements when you speak• Be respectfully assertive• Speak for a purpose• As for feedback


Speak with Purpose


“Let us say what we feel, and feel what we say; let speech harmonize with life”

- Seneca


Closenessrefers to the degree to which

you have developed a

supportive social fabric in

each area of your life.


“We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand

fibers connect us with our fellow men...”

--Herman Melville


Developing Closeness• Make relationships a priority• Share your personal feelings• Find quality time together• Focus on the positive and give praise• Focus on future goals


FlexibilityIndicates both the degree of

structure in your life and how

comfortable you are with

situations that are unstructured

and unpredictable


Developing Flexibility• Be open to diverse ideas• Brainstorm ideas without judging• Avoid judging “right” or “wrong”• “Try on” other people’s ideas


“The most successful people are those whose success is the result of steady accretion. It is those people who carefully advance step by

step, their minds becoming wider and wider, and progressively better able to grasp any theme or situation, persevering in what they know to be practical, and concentrating their thought upon

it, who are bound to succeed in the greatest degree.”

--Alexander Graham Bell


Achieving Life Balance• For stressors you CAN change, develop a

specific plan of action for creating change, then follow through with that plan

• Change your response to those stressors you CANNOT change

• Improving stress management capabilities can increase personal and business productivity, emotional well-being, and relationships


Achieving Life Balance• Stress is not always bad. Moderate stress

can help you be more creative, energetic, focused, and productive

• When stress increases beyond our ability to easily cope with it, we begin to feel its negative effects


7-Steps to Less Stress It’s a Matter of Being FOCUSED©

F – Forgiving of others and yourself O – Organized – invest time wisely C – Consistent – develop good habits U – Understanding – show empathyS – Sincere – help others be successful E – Energized – live your dreams D – Determined – never give up


Your Reality Check


“You can either get FOCUSED or get STUFFED. The choice is yours”


Thank You Thank you for participating in this workshop. I hope you got your WIIFM.

Brian SmithPower Link Dynamics

[email protected]://briansmithpld.com

futures 25 coping with stress @ work and @ home

Education

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critical stress issues

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