Full „Catastrophe‟ Living

Evolving Wisdom when living with Illness and Uncertainty

Dr Ruth Sewell

Lecturer and Psychotherapist.

In the words of Zorba the Greek…

The realisation of wisdom requires participation in „the full catastrophe‟ of life

What we expect

Instinctually life is organised:

So that we understand and live in harmony with others and our environments

It relies on having control and expectations.

From this we look for certainty

Life threatening illness jolts us into a process of transformation; it changes life bringing a „loss of innocence‟ and the creation of uncertainty and even a sense of catastrophe.

Imposing threat

For most the starting point of uncertainty, and fear, is the instinctual association, with cancer and other life limited disease, of impending death.

The grip of fear and uncertainty

Many speak of feeling in the grip of extreme trepidation, struggling to ward off fear and trying to gain control and regain a sense of balance, self belief and trust in the certainty of life again.

The creation of uncertainty

Many factors interact within an individual to determine their ability to assimilate personally threatening information.

Dora

“Since my cancer, and even though others love and care for me and help me, each day I am haunted by fear and if it isn‟t fear it is living with not knowing, with this dreadful uncertainty. For me this has been harder than the cancer and treatment.”

Uncertainty separates us from life

When they were building the walls,

How could I not have noticed?

Not a sound,

Imperceptibly they closed me off

From the outside of the world.

John O‟Donohue, Eternal Echoes

Jane

“Facing breast cancer made me stop and ask myself, what have I done with my life? Life is so very short. My life had become trivial. I loved painting but gave it up „too busy‟. I have come to feel insecure, not knowing what to trust, uncertain…I don‟t want this to be so, I want to understand and not be afraid.”

Wisdom and the quest for self-knowledge and to truly know ourselves is central to

the human search for wholeness and meaning.

Jung offered..

Note the difference between the damaging hurt of wound, which causes someone to bleed and die of it, and the healing wound out of which our greatest creativity can grow.

Jung cited by Somers (2002)

Uncertainty

Addressing the „pain‟ that has no reason

Healing Uncertainty

Finding Meaning

Reviving Hope

Rekindling Trust

Listening to the journey

„Listening to people dialogue with their symptoms, I am struck by the sense of a journey: that we come from somewhere and we go somewhere, and illness is but part of the process‟

Somers (2002:166)

Journey to the Whole

Healing is a process of integrating and balancing the parts of oneself at a deep level of inner knowledge that gives each part equal importance and value.

Sanders (2005)

Responding Holistically

Family and „Community‟.

The impact of uncertainty affects those closest to the person experiencing the disease.

It is crucial to explore the impact on the family in an effort to ease suffering and encourage greater expression of doubts fears.

To reconnect them to strengths and hope within

Dostoyevsky (1992) considered the quality of the human condition and the human being as..

„a creature capable of infinite suffering, as long as they do not stand alone and the suffering has meaning‟

Spiritual and Existential Strivings

Enable the patient/person to identify their priorities in responding to what makes them fearful and to express any „hauntings‟.

Spiritual help

To make possible the way to improve, relieve and „heal‟ that which is „vulnerable‟ „in pain‟ and „questing‟ within them.

Embracing uncertainty

Compassion exists within every human being so that it can become a „healing‟ force in our own lives.

Karen Armstrong

Rekindling of Hope

Living each moment, fully, no matter where we are in life……encouraging each other to…..

Living Each Precious Moment

focus attention and intention from „putting days in life‟ to creating „greater life in our

days‟.

Uncertainty does not go away, but learning to manage it and respond rather than

react seems to help…

Heart-the healing portal

„ The heart must break to become large, for when the heart is open, then „God‟ can put the whole universe in it‟.

Frankel (2003:16) citing Harvey (1991)

Joan

• “At times my heart has been raw, open and heavy; such sadness and fear, but now, I can take a day at time. The uncertainty hasn‟t gone away, it can‟t do; but now instead of running scared from the thoughts of dread and loss of courage, I have learned to let it be. I am not a talker, but I have learned it helps to „let it out of the black bag‟ so that I can enjoy the moment.”

Healing Effect

For those in a „healing‟ role

Learning to receive and give support

Healing and Consciousness

„The level of consciousness we bring to the situation determines the outcome. There is something that is constant underneath everything… we just need to make a commitment to finding it.‟

• Lancaster (2007)

It is only with the heart that one sees rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye.

The Little Prince.

Stay focused

Take a day at a time

Anticipate the ebb and flow of the emotional, mental and spiritual tide

Remain open to what is „under-wraps‟

Dr Ruth Sewell

Lecturer in Integrated Palliative Care and Spirituality

Psychotherapist

Clinical and Academic Supervision

Tel: 01626-779649

Email:heart@ruthsewell.f9.co.uk