friendships and relationships: a cross-cultural perspective friendship is the inexpressible comfort...

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Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words. (George Eliot, English novelist)

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Page 1: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective

Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words.

(George Eliot, English novelist)

Page 2: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Major Topics: Defining terms Good neighbors Friendship Obligations and

connections Men and women

relationships Family relationship Dorm-mate relationship

Page 3: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Defining Terms Friend: one attached to another by affection or

esteem Friendship: a relationship in which people know,

like and trust each other Friendliness: behavior, characterized by smiling,

chattiness, and warmth, that demonstrate interest in another person

BUT, the understanding and expectations of a friend vary from culture to culture, from person to person

Page 4: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Intimacy: very personal or private relationship marked by warmth and familiarity

Intimate relationships: romantic, close family, deep friend relationships

Individualists: "I" identity, personal privacy and relationship privacy            

Collectivists: "we" identity, family and ingroup network connection       

Page 5: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Diverse Personal Relationships Close childhood friend, best friend, new

friend, family friend, classmate, teammate, colleague or co-worker, roommate, girlfriend or boyfriend, acquaintance

Casual, friendly relationships Deeper, closer friendships Friendly relationships Committed relationships

Page 6: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

What is a good neighbor?

Page 7: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

For the cleaning of the shared areas:

Germans define duties and responsibilities precisely in a formal written contract or lease agreement, and relationships with neighbors may tend to be formal and distant.(low-context)

Americans talk together and find a solution acceptable to everyone, or else pay for a service.

Chinese imply from the relationship, or behave in a certain way by acting that way yourself, hoping others will follow you.(high-context)

Page 8: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Chinese Friendship1. There are few limits on what you can ask or

expect of a friend.2. Chinese friends give each other much more

concrete help and assistance than Western friends do: personal connections, money, direct and specific advice

3. A true friendship is a relationship that endures through changes in the lives of the friends.

4. Relationships with friends are much more informal than similar Western relationships.

Page 9: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

American Friendships (1)

For Westerners, friendship is mostly a matter of providing emotional support and spending time together.

1. Americans expect friends to be independent.

2. Americans develop friendships easily and quickly, and they are satisfied with transient relationships and friendships.

Page 10: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

American Friendships (2)

3. Friendship depends on frequent interaction with the other person.True friendships require time and commitment, which many Americans lack.

4. Friendships are tied to specific circumstances or activities: work friends, leisure activity friends and neighborhood friends.

5. Friendships in the West is based on equality. Friends should exchange similar activities and give similar things to each other.

Page 11: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Social Obligations Relationships in China ordinarily involve a

system of social debts and credits. In Western countries, relationships do not

include social obligations. They avoid obligations and personal commitments.

Page 12: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Case study:

1) who are you trying to fool?

2) You can afford it

3) What is true friendship?

Page 13: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Discussion:

What do you think are important qualities of true friendship?

loyalty, forgiveness, kindness, commitment, common interests, kindness, generosity, respect, equality, understanding, trust, honesty, fun

Page 14: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Importance of Connections China:

relation-based, personal relationships, background, connections

The U.S.:rule-based, professional obligations, qualifications, performances

Page 15: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Men and Women Relationship Refer to the handout for the understanding

of the basic differences between Men and Women.

Is marriage a choice or a necessity?

Page 16: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Family Relationship

Critical incident:

the Arrival of the In-laws

Page 17: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Dormitory Life

Describe the relationships between dorm-mates: Formal or informal Intimate or distant Obligations Friendly or indifferent

Page 18: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Cross-cultural Friendships: Barriers and Strategies

Barriers:

different expectations

language inadequacy

unfamiliar environment Strategies:

Understand cultural differences

Be empathetic

Develop communication skills

Page 19: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Intercultural-Intimate Relationship Attraction

Facilitating Factors: Perceived Physical Attractiveness Perceived Similarity Self-Disclosure Ethnic Identity and Self-Concept

Page 20: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Summary of Social Relationships

Different expectations of: A good neighbor A friend Social obligations and Connections Men and women Family relationship Roommate relationship

Page 21: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Questions for discussion: What Causes Us to Hold Biases Against

Outgroups?

Through our Lenses: Communication Filters Perception Ethnocentrism Stereotypes and Media

Page 22: Friendships and Relationships: a Cross-cultural Perspective Friendship is the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person having neither to weigh

Final Project: 1st reminder!!