free to learn - play

8/13/2019 Free to Learn - Play

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fiR 1 IT LI A I{N

It is time for people who kno w better t o stand up and move against

this terrib le tide. Children do not need more schooling. They n eed less

schooling and more freedom . They also need safe enough envi ronments

in which to play and explore, and they need free access to the tools,

ideas , and people ( in cluding playmates) that can help them along their

own chosen paths.This book is not one of complaint; it is a book about hope and a

path to improvement . I t' sa book for people who have an intern al locus

of control, who want to do something to make the world better, not

throw up their hands and say, That 's the way it is and we might as well

accept if' As I 'll show in the next chapters, natural selection endowed

human children with powerful instincts to educate themselves , and we

are foolish to d eprive children of the condit ions necessary for them to

r i th e in tincts.

()

r H E P L AY F I L L E D

I V E S O

U N T E R G AT H E R E R

H I L D R E N

A LFWAY AROUN D THE WORLD, and far removed from the ed -II \ t i nal pressures that act on Evan and Hank, we find Kwi, also eleven,

wh ) i growing up in a culture that trust s children 's instincts and judg-' \nt. Kwi lives in a hunt ing-and-gathering band in Afri ca's Kalahari

I l S rt, part of a cultural group cal led the Juf 'hoansi . He has no schoolIII In fixe d schedule. He get s up when he isful ly awake, and he spends

It lay a he likes, playin g and exploring with his age -mixed group

111 1 , , nds, sometimes in camp, sometimes well a way from camp, with-

out udu lt dire tion. He has been doing this since he was four , the age

>vII '1'1, rdin t Ill/'h an adult, children can reason and controlIIt \11 S Iv II and n Jon r 11 d t tay 10 e to adults. Every day brings,\ 'W idv 'ntu l' 'Il, n 'W opp ortun ttt S for I ia rn in


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FREll J LE A R N

Paraguay), Parakana (of Brazil' s Amazon basin), and Yiwara (of theAustralian desert).

This chapter isabout the lives and educat ion ofchi ldren in hunter -

gatherer cul tures, but along the way I will a lso talk about the unifying

characteristics of the cultures themselves. Education by my definition,

is cultural transmission. It is the set of processes by which each newgeneration of human beings, in any social group, acquires and bui lds

upon the skil ls , knowledge, lore, and values -that is, the culture -of

previous generat ions in that group. To understand hunter -gatherers'

approach to child -rearing and education , i t is necessary to know some -thing about their cultural values.

Autonomy, Sharing, and Equality

II u n t r- nth r rs live in sm all bands (typically twenty to fifty persons,

n Ill lln hlldr n) that move from place to place within large but cir -1( 1 )) lib I Icrrlt ri s l f It w the available game and vegetation .

'I II I' 0 1 , ) III V III 5,as d s ribed bynearly al l researchers who haveI I I II d th I I I ar auton omy (personal freedom), sharing and equality=

W', In rn d rn d m cratic cultur es, generally hold these values as well,

but hunt r-gatherers' understanding of and emphasis on them go waybeyond ours .

Hunter-gatherers' sense of autonomy is so strong that they refrain

from telling one another what to do. They even refrain from offering

unsolicited advice to one another, so as to avoid the appearance of in -terfering with the other 's freedom. Each person, including each child ,

isfree every day to make his or her own choices , as long asthose choices

don't interfere with others' freedoms or violate a social taboo. Their

autonomy, however, does not include the r ight to accumulate private

property or to make others indebted to them, as that would run counterto their second great value -sharing.

From an economic point of view, sharing is the purpose of the

hunter-gatherer band. Peopl e share their skills and ff rts fr lya theycooperate in obtaining fo d, def ndin a ainst pr Inters and arin

'I'III~ I'I. A t llL I, H I I . IV I )111 1 N 'I'HR . ;A 'I'III IW I~ IIIL IIU N

lor hlldr n. 'I'h y share f od and material goods w ith eve ryone in the

I In I and v n with members of other bands. Such ready sharing ap-P II m tly is what allowed hunter-gatherers to survive for so long in suchII111nging conditions . The hunter-gatherer concept of sharing isdif-

1 1 .nt from our Wes tern understanding. For us, sharing isa praiseworthy

I I f generosity, for which a thank -you is due and some form of re -puyrn nt may be expected in the future. For hunter-gatherers , sharing

r n ither a generous act nor an implicit bargain, but a duty . It is taken

lor granted that you will share if you have more than others; failure to

In s would in vi te r idicule and scorn?

Intimately tied to hunter -gatherers' sense of autonomy and expec -I \ li n of sharing is what anthropologist Richard Lee has called their

f r e egalitarianism. Their egalitarianism goes far beyond our mod - I l l , Western notion of equal opportunity. It means that everyone's

II d are equally important , that no one isconsidered superior to oth-II'S , and that no one possesses more materia l goods than anyone else .

u h quality is part and parcel of their sense of autonomy, as inequal-t ould l ead those who have more, or who believe themselves to be

III rior, to dominate those who have less. )

rIunter-gatherers, of course, recognize that some people are betterhunt r or gatherers than others, some are better negotiators, some

II t II r dancers, and so on, and they value such skills. However, theylio n ly disapp rove of any flaunting of abil it ies or overt expressions of

III ri rity. The weapons they most commonly use to combat boast ing,

I I 1IIIur to share, or other tabooed actions, are ridicule and shunning,\ fir t tep, people make fun of the violator for behaving in such an

II pr priate way . They might make up a song about how so-and-so

III I\ sh is uch a big man and great hunter: ' Ifthe behavior persists,t I\ I n t st P is to act as if the violator does not exis t . Such measures111 h hly ff ctive in bringing around the transgressor. It is hard to

\I t I k tI bi sh t if everyone ridicules you for it, and it is not worthII I I I I I f d j f th pri c is being tr eated as ifyou don't exist .

,( nsist nt with th ir high valuation of individual autonomy and

11 1 ly,i1l1l tor- all rer bands 1 n have big men, o r chiefs, of the


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II IU l E 'I' LEA I{ N

sort common ly found in primitive agri cultural societi s (and in collector

societ ies-see endnote 4) , who make d ecisio ns for the who le group.

Some hunter -gatherer bands have no regular leader at all. Others h ave

a nominal leader who speaks for the band in dealing with other band s,

but who has no more forma l decision -making power than a nyone els e.

Decisions that affect the whole band, such as when to mo ve from onecamp site to another, are made by group discussion s, which might g o

on for hours o r days before c onsensus i s reached and act ion is taken.

Women as we ll as men take part in these discu ssions, and e ven child ren

may voice thei r opinions . Within any g iven band some people ar e

known to be wiser than others and are therefo re more influential, but

any power they exert comes from their abil it ies to persuade and to fin d

comp romi ses that take everyone's desires into account .l

Trustf ul Paren tingA l .r rn It n u d by r earchers to descri be adults' general treatmento .hlldr 11 in hun t r-gatherer c ultures is indulg ent but pe rhaps a bet te rt I m is tr u tful. Th spirit of egalitarianis m and autonomy that pervades

hun t f - ath r r s c ial relationships a pplies to adults' interactions with

hlldr en, just as it app lies to a dults ' inte ractions with one another. The

centra l tenet of t heir parenting and educational philosoph y seems t o

be that children's instincts can be trusted , that children who are allowed

to follow their own wills will le arn what they need to le arn and will

naturally begin to contribute to the band's economy when they ha vethe skills and maturity to do so. This trustful attitude iswell illustrated

by researchers' comments , such as the following (each from a different

observer conce rning a different hunter -gatherer culture):

Aborigine chi ldren [ofAu stralia] are indulged to an extreme

degree, and sometimes cont inue to suckle unti l the y are fou r

or f ive year s old. Physic al punishmen t for a child i s almostunheard of 'll

'I'IIH J lI.A IIIL I [ [V I' I'll N I'IlR . :AT llIll~ J (R IJ IL RUN

l lu nl r- ath r r d not give orders to their chi ldren; for

xample, n adul t announces bedtime. At ni ght, children re-

main around adu lts unt il they fee l tired and f all asleep ....

Parakana adu lts [of Braz il] do not interfere with their chil-

dr n's lives. T hey never beat, scold, or behave aggressively

with them, p hysical ly or verbally , nor do the y offer prai se or1e p track of their development. V

T he idea tha t this is 'my child' or ' your child' do es not e xist

[among the Y equana of Venezuela] . Deciding what anoth er

person s hould d o, no matter what his ag e, is outside th e

Ye quana voc abulary of behavio rs. There is gre at intere st in

what every one doe s, but no impul se to influence -let alone

coerce-any one. The child's will is his motive force:' 13

Infants an d young children [among Inuit hunte r-gatherer s

of the H udson Ba y area] are allowed to expl ore their env i-

ronmen ts to the limits of their ph ysical capabilit ies and withminima l interference from adults. Thus if a child picks up a

hazardo us object , parents generally leav e it to explore the

dangers on its own. The child is p resumed to know what itis doing :'14

Jul'hoan children very rarely cried, probably because the y

had little to cry about . No child was e ver yelled at or slapped

or phys ically puni shed, and few were even scolded. Mos t

never heard a dis couraging word unt il they were approachin g

adolescence, a nd even then the reprimand , if it really was ar prim and, was delivered in a soft voice: '15

M st people in our culture would consider such indulgence t o be

, I ipe for producing spo iled, demanding kids who grow up to

I . sp Il d, d manding adu lts. But , at least within the context of theIII1 n l r- th rer wa y of l ife, nothing co uld be further from the t ruth. I h w Elizab th M ar hall Thomas , one ofthe earliest o bservers of

t ll Ju / h ans], r p nd d t th qu ti 11 of pollin g: W e are sometimes

'/


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J'RlIT IARN '1I itill.A 1 II, I.I I) I, IV ilH J Ill N 'I'ER :A 'I'IIIRE R IIIL [U N

told that childr en who are treated so kindly be come spo iled, but thi s

is because those who hold that opinion have no idea ho w successfu l

such measures can b e. Free from frustration or anxiety, sunny an d

cooperat ive, ... the Ju J'hoan chi ldren were every parent's dream. No

cul ture can ever have ra ised better, more intelligent, more likable, mor e

confident children .v Given this indulgen t, trustful attitude, it is not surprising that ch il-

dren in hunter -gatherer societies are a llowed to spend most of thei r

t ime playing and exploring freely. The general belief among hunte r-

gathere r adults, borne out by centur ies of experience, is that childr en

educate themselves through their se lf-directed play and exploration.l ?

To learn more about the lives of hunter -gatherer children, m y then-

raduate stu dent Jonathan Ogas and I conducted a survey of ten prom i-

n nt r searchers who had studied various hunter -gatherer cul tures .P

'lo our u tio n, How muc h free time did children in the group yo u

II I ll d have ~ r playi, all of th e resear chers said, essentially, that theII Ilr 'II w r I' l play n arly from dawn to dusk ever y day. Her e

l i t III I ty p t a l r p n

(Both iris and boys had almos t all day every day free to play

(Alan Brainard, con cernin g the Nharo , of southern Afri ca).

Children were fr ee to play nearly all the time; no one ex -

pected children to do serious work until they were in their

late teens (Karen Endicott, concerning the Batek ofM alaysia).

Boys were free to play nearly all the t ime unt il age 15-17;forgir ls mo st of the day, in between a few errands and some

babysitting, was spent in pl ay (Ro bert Bailey, concerning .the Efe, of central Africa ).

1Ip,lyIUl w rI : Th Hazda ( fthe Ta nzanian rain for ests in Afr ica)

II'S m tim ited as an exception to th e rule t hat hunter-gathererII I II n ngage in li ttle produc tive work. Hazda children forage for a

II I p rtion 0 f their own foo d. Howe ver, a s tudy of Hazda children,I 's five to f if teen, revea led that they spent on ly abo ut two hours per

IlY raging, in the r ich vegetat ive areas near camp , and that even whileIlII'n ing they contin ued to play.2o

Although adults in hunter -gatherer cultu res do not attempt to con -

1101, dir ct, or motiva te children's education , they assist children 's self-

11\1 ati n by respo nding to their wishes.i' They al low children to pl ay

w Ih dult too ls, even potentially dangerous ones, such a s knives and

I s b cause they und erstand tha t children nee d to pla y with such ob-

ts t become s killed at using them . They trust children to h ave

IIIOll h sense not to hu rt them selves. There are some lim its, howe ver.

I'lls n-tipped darts or arrows are kept well out of small children' sI I I h.22 Adults also make scaled-do wn bows and arro ws, digging sticks,

II Isk t ,and other such in strument s for young children , even toddle rs,tI I I 1 1Ywith. They allow children to watch and parti cipate in e ssentiall y

III , lult activities , as th ey please . Children o ften cro wd around adult s,IIII Iy ung ones c limb onto adu lts' lap s, to watch or help them c ook,I I I I loy musical instruments, or make hunting weapons o r other tools,III l t h adults rarely shoo them away. Draper des cribes a typical sce ne:

These respon ses are consistent with publ ished reports. In a form alstudy of Ju J'hoan children' s activi ties , anthropologist P atricia Drape r

concluded, Girls are around 1 4 years old be fore th ey begin regul ar

food gatherin g and water- an d wood -collecting .... Boy are 16 yearsold or over before they begin seriou hunt in'.... hildr n dam, z-

n afternoon I watched for 2 hour s while a [Iu/Tioan] father

I rnm ered and shaped the meta l for several arro w point s. Duringth p riod his son and grandson (both under 4 years old) jostled

him, at on his legs , and attempted t o pull the arrowhead s from

II nd r the hamme r. When the boys' fingers came close to the

p )j nt f impa ct, he mere ly waited until the small h ands were a

I ttI farther away before he resumed hammering. Although the

IllII1 r 1 1 1 n trat ed with the boys, he di d not become cros s or

h \' th b Y ff ; and th ey did not heed his warnings to quitII I rf rin . Ev ntually, p rhap 50 minut es later, the boys moved

orl 1 few sl I s l ) ir s IT} t na rs lyin in th hade.23

(I


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J lI{1 l1 ' I' I,HA I{N

When child ren ask adu lts to show th em how to do something or to

help them do it, the adults ob lige. As one group of hunter -gatherer

researchers put it , Sharing and giv ing are core f orager values, so what

an individual knows is open and av ailable to e veryone; i f a child wants

to learn something , others are obliged to share the knowledge o r skill:'24

Hunter-gatherers also impart knowledge b y telling storie s-about the ir

foraging and hunting adventures, their visits to other bands, and sig-

nificant events in the past . Thomas notes that women in their si xties

and seventies , in the groups that she observed, were especially g reatstorytellers about the past. 25The stories a re not directed spec ifically to

children, but the children listen and absorb the meanings. Hunter-

gatherer children control and direct their own education, but all of the

adult s in the band, as well as other chi ldren , are resources.

T echn ical Sk ills and Knowledge

1t w uld b - a mistake to ass ume that becau se hunter-gatherer cul tures

or s imp) r t han ours, children in those cultures have less to lear n

than d ur children. Th e hunting -and-gathering way of life is extr a-

rdinarily know ledge- and sk ill-intensive, and because of the relative

absence o f occupationa l specialization , each child has to acquire e s-

sentially the whole culture, or at least that part of it appropriate to h isor her gender .

Hunting itself requires enormous kno wledge and skill . Unlike such

carnivorous animals as lion s, tigers, and wolves, we humans are no t

adapted for captur ing game by speed and force; instead we rely on wit

and craft . Hunter-gatherer men -and women, too, in those culture s

where women also hunt-have a vast kn owledge of the habits of th e

two hundred to three hundred different mammals and b irds they hunt .

They c an identify each animal by its sounds and tr acks as well as b y

sight . Some years ago, Louis Liebenberg wrote an enti re book abou t

the sophisticated scientific reas oning tha t unde rlies h unter-gat herers'

abilities t o tra ck game.26 Hunters use the marks th ey see in the sand,

mud, or fol iag e as clues, which they co mbin - with th ir accumul ated

o

'1 111 (J iI,A J iII, 'IU) I.IV I(I ()J llllJN I'I I{ .A I'IIJ I{I I{ 'IIII. I)R I N

kunwl d [ron pt 51 xp rl n ) t d velop an d t sthypothes es aboutII 11 molt r a th ize, ex, physical condi tion, sp eed of move ment,

III I 11m f pas age of the animal they a re tracking. Such tracking i snlial not only for finding game a nd getting close enough to shoot,

111 1 1II for pursuing game t hat has been shot . Hunter-g atherers typi -

Illy hunt with smal l arrow s or dart s treated with poison , which tak e

I III t act. Some times a large animal must be tracked for . days beforeI (11 and can be brought back to camp.

In describing the tracking abilities of the Ju /'hoansi, anthropologist

I Wannen burgh wrote, Everything is noti ced, considered, and dis -I II Il d. The kink in a trodden grass blade, the direct io n ofthe pull that

III 01 a twig f rom a bush, the depth, si ze, shape, and dispo sition of the

II I I s themse lves, a ll reveal information about the condi tion ofth e an-I I I \I, the direction it i s moving in, the rate of t ravel , and wh at i ts future

II\( ments are likel y to be: '27 Concerning the same issu e, Thoma s

WI L) To reco gnize the tracks of [the specific kudu th at had been shot ],who i trave ling with six or seven other kudu s, al labout th e same size,

I~ t that must be seen to be appreci ated, e specially because none of

III lracks are clear footprints . They are dents in the s and among many

III II r cuffe d dents made b y other kudus .... Even the tiniest sign, suchI th tracks of a beetle superimpo sed upon a footprint of the victim,

WI nrld have meaning to the hunters , especiall y if the beetle was of a typeI 1 \ move d about after the day had reached a cert ain temperature 'S'l'h too ls of hunting-which might include bow s and arro ws (with

II I without po isoned tips) , blow pipes and poisoned darts, spears , snares,

IIld nets-must be craf ted to perfect ion, with great skilL And g reatI II is neede d, too, in the use of the tools. No anthropologist has re -

Il( II I d an ability to hunt at e ven clo se to that of the hunter -gatherer s

hI () he studied, using their tools.-? Most speak with awe ofthe abilitiesIIIt Y b rved. Quantitative studie s of hunting succe ss have shown that

Ih I st hunters are no t the men in the ir twenties, even though theyII IV r a h d their peak p hysical condi tion, but those in their thirt ie s,

1111 t s, and above. It takes that long to a cquir e the knowledge and skillIII' \ I d t b a sup rlative hunt er.'?


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JlR 12T LIlArm

Itisno surprise th at childr en growing up in a culture where huntingisso greatlyvalued, somuch t alked about, and kno wn to be so difficult ,would play and explore in ways that help them to become sk illedhunters. All ofthe respondents to our survey sa id that the boys i n theculture they studied spentenormous amounts oftime atpla yfultracking

and hunting. The two respondents who studied the Agta -a cultur ewhere women aswellasmen hunt-observed that g irls aswell asboy sin that culture engaged in much playful hunting.

Hunter-gatherer children asyoung asthree years old track and sta lksmall animals and one another in their play.31With their little bow sand arrows they shoot at stationary targets, or atbutterflies and toads.Byageeight or nine they are already killing some small edible creatures,which they migh t tie to a stick and carry back to camp, mimicking theway th ir fathers transport large animals. Byageten, they sometime s

ont rlb ut small amounts of meat to the camp's daily food supply. B y(h I 1 1 t h y ar in their early teens, they might be allowed to joi nI I tli. ( 1 1 real bt - am huntin gexpeditions,sotheycanlearnbywatch-I I II I II Y I sixr n r they might be full participants in such e x-

P' Iltlon s till in th spiri t of play.'I'h ath ring f plant-based foods tuffs likewise requires gre at

knowledge and skill. Humans are not adapted to graze on readily avail -able foliage, as o ur ape relatives are. Rather, we depend on nutrient-rich plant matter that must be sought out, extracted, and processed.Hunter -gatherer women-and men, too -have to kno w which ofth ecountless roots, tubers, nuts , seeds, fruits, and greens in their area ar eedible and nutri tious, when and where to find them, how to dig the mup or extract the edible portions effic iently , and in some cases ho wto process them to make them edib le or more nutrit ious than the yotherwise would be. 32These abilities include physical skills,honed b yyears ofpractice, aswell asthe capacity to remember, use, add to, an dmodify an enormous store ofculturally shared verba l knowledge abou tthe food material s. Research has shown th at the efficiency of h unter-gatherer women in gathering and process ing fo ods incr a s up to theage ofa bout fo rty, just as the men' kill at huntin do s.

l llll PI ,A 1 1 11 ,1II L lv n : (1 1 11 N I n l{. :A I'III R I R '1 111 ,1 I {H N

Hunt r- rath r r hildr n learn a bout plant-based foods in the sameI II I II way that they learn to hunt . They hear stories. They join their11101 h 'rs and ther adult s on gathering tri ps. They wat ch adults pro -I I 1 1 It ds in camp and help w hen they can. Ent irely on their own

II I illv ) they play with digg ing sticks and with mortars and pe stles,IIld Ih y deviseg ames t hat involve finding and identifying varieties ofIII I I Is, Th y sometimes a lso seek and receive verbal instruction fr om 11111. In interviews, A ka women de scribed how, when they were1 1 \III th ir mot hers had placedva rieties ofmu shrooms or wild yamsn II mtof them and explained the differences between those that were

I II I I and those that wer e not .34

A is true in all cultur es, boysand gi rls in hunter -gatherer culturesHI ate themse lves by sex for some, although not all , oftheir play .

lIoys more often than girls,play at hunting and other predominantlyIIII'II'S a tivities . Girls, more often than boy s, play at gathering, food

1 1 ) sing, birthing, infant care, and other predominantly women'sac-I v I s. Boys and girls play together at the man y activities engaged inI H\1larlyby both men and women. Al l of thei r pla y is in age -mixed

IOl lP , of children ranging from about four on up t o the mid -teens .I II Ih ir play, the younger children le arn skillsfrom the older ones , andIII. ild r children practice leadership and nurturance through their

~ r the younger one s. Although children learn much from adult s,11 11 1, rn ore usual teachers are the children with whom they pl ay.

'l'h researchers w ho responded to our sur vey noted that hunter-Ith r r children m imic many valued adul t activitie s in their pla y, be-

'11 1 1II unting and gathering, including caring for infants, climbinglilt H , uildingvine la dders, building huts, making tools, building rafts,III In fir s, cook ing, defending against attacks from make -believeIII lut rs, imitating animals (ameans of identifying animals and learn-I lg th ir habits), making music, dancing, stor ytelling, and arguing .

III1 nI r- ath r r gro ups have rich traditions ofmu sic, dance, and stories,II I ) 1 1 urpris thatthe children make and play musical in -I l l In ) nts in, dan .and tilt rie in their p lay. Depe nding on the

I ultur , I I yl i ht als r l b ad d d igns or other visual artwork .


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FHIl'T LU ARN 'l'II lP I.AY J lIL U LIVE J lIIUN I'LlR ,AT , II RE R nu , REN

The outdoo r lives of hunter -gatherers , including the n eed to flee

from or fend off predators , require that people o f all ages and both sexes

maintain f it and agile bodies . In agricul tural and indu strial societies,

boys generally engage in considerably more vigorous physi cal play tha n

do girls , but in hunter-gatherer societies both se xes engage, near l y

equall y, in a great amount ofsuch play. 35They chase one another aroundand, depending on geography, climb and swing on trees, le ap, swim,

carry heavy object s, and perfo rm all sort s of acrobati cs. They also prac-

tice graceful , coordinated movements in their dance s. Dancing an d

dance-like games are popular form s ofplay in nearl y all hunter-gathere r

cultures; the y are e xercises in cooperation as well as fluid movement .

Social Skills and Values

w ~\nil 11 d the help and suppo rt of others, and to obt ain that we needIII kl w how to help and support others .

As I noted before, hunter-gatherer c hildren always pl ay in group

IIIir ncompass a wide ran ge of a ges. Even if they wanted to pl ay onlywith age-mates, they wo uld n ot be able to. Hunt er-gatherer b ands are

n 11, and births are w idely spread, so it is rare to find more than twoC I thre e children within a year or two i n age. R esearch in our cultu red s ussed in C hapter 9) shows that age- mixed pla y is qualitatively dif-

I I nt from same -age play.36 It is l ess competiti ve and more nu rturing .II I -rnixe d play, each child trie s to do hi s or her best, but has little

1)/ n concern f or beating others. When pla ymate s differ greatl y in age , I. ) and strength, there is little point in trying to pr ove ones elf better

III 111 another. The age-mi xed nature of the pla y, coupled with the egal-I Irian ethos of the cultur es, ensures that the play of hunter-gathe rer

hlldren is highly co operative and noncompetitive.Tn a worldwide cros s-cultural compar ison of g ames conduct ed in

tit 1950s and '60s, John Roberts and his colleague s concluded that

III nly cultures that seemed to h ave no competiti ve games at all were

hunter-gatherer culture s.'? Consisten t with that conclu sion, al l of theI pondents to our survey stressed the noncompetitive natur e of

I II play they observed. For e xample , anthropologi st P. Bion GriffinI urn mented that the only consistent rule ofplay that he ob served among

A g t nchildren was that no one should w in and beat an other in a vi sible

II hion, In the most extensive de scripti ve account of th e play and

Hun of any h unter-gatherer group, Lorna Marshall poin ted out that11I0 t Ju/'hoan play is informal and noncompetiti ve and that even their

lo rrnal games, which ha ve explicit rule s and could be pla yed competi -

I vcly are played noncompetitively .' For instance, Ju /'hoan childrenI) I a five to fifteen, of both sexes, often playa game of thro wing the/'1 n I. Th zeni co nsist s of a leather th ong, about seven inche s long, with

I ,11 1 11wight faste ned at one end and a feat her at the other. The pl ayerIt 11 1 it tnt th air a hig h a pos ible with a st ick, then tries to ca tch

t with th stt t wh n It om sflutt rin down, and from that posit ionII 11 1 It t uln. 'l'hc m I play d with 71 ( It sl ill by many, and it uld

By allowing the ir children unlimited time to play with one another ,

hUI I r- nth r r adult allow t heir children unlimited pr actice of th e

oc II skills t d values that are most central to their way oflife. Socia lII ly II I Is, 1 1playthat involves more than one player) is , by i ts ver ynotu rc, ntlnu u x r i in cooperation, attention to one another' sn ds , 11 I ns n ual d cision -rnaking.

Play 1 n t some thing one has to do; players are always free to quit .

In social play, each p layer k nows that anyone who feels unhappy will

quit, and if too many quit, the game ends . To keep the game going ,

playe rs must satisf y not onl y their own desires but also tho se of th e

other players . The intense drive that children have to play with othe rchi ldren, therefore, isa powerful force for them to learn how to at tend

to others ' wishes and negot iate differences. Research in our cul ture ha s

shown repeatedly that even p reschool children engage in enormou s

amounts of negotiation and compromise in the context of play (mo re

on this in Chapter 8). One of the great evolutionar y purposes of social

play is to help children learn how to treat one another respectfully, as

equals , in wa ys that meet everyone 's needs and desires, despite differ-

ences in size, str ength, and ability. These skills are crucial for surviva lin hunter -gatherer societies, but are va luabl . in v ry hum an i ty.


9/24

PR E T LIlARN

easily be played competi tively-for inst ance, by seeing who can hurl it

the highest or catch it the most times in succession-but, according t o

Marshall , i t is not played that way. Players try to do their best , but com-parisons between players are not made.

Many hunter-gatherer games involve close coordination of each

player's movements with those of the other players. This is true of all

of their dancing and dance-like games, but i t is also true ofother games.

For example, in playful hunting with nets , the net -handlers and bush -

beaters must coordinate their actions just asadults do in real net hunt-

ing. Another example is a tree -swinging game, in which children

coordinate their actions to bend a sapling to the ground and then all

but one releases it, so that the one who didn't let go swings wildly in

the treetop or is catapulted through the air. 39 Such games apparently

11 t only help children learn to work together as a team, but also help

Ind th m together emotionally as a community.

llin Turnbull, who studied the Mbuti of central Africa, describedJ. m nlal tug- f-war ga mes played by the entire band each year as

port th I r 1 bration of t he honey season . Men and boys take one

sld th vln r pe, women an d girls take the other, and they sing in

antiphony as they pull. In Turnbull's words, when the men and boys

start to win, one of them will abandon his side and join the women,

pulling up hi s bark- cloth and adjusting it in the fashion of women ,

shouting encouragement to them in a falsetto, ridiculing womanhood

by the very exaggeration of his mime:' Then, when the women and

girls s tart to win, one ofthem adjusts her bark clothing, let ting i tdown ,

and strides over to the men's side and joins their shouting in a deep

bass voice, s imilarly gently mocking manhood: ' Turnbul l continued:

Each person crossing over tries to outdo the ridicule ofthe last, causing

more and more laughter, until when the contestants are laughing s o

hard they cannot sing or pull any more, they let go of the vine rope and

fall to the ground in near hysteria. Although both youth and adult s

cross sides, it is primarily the youth who really enact the 'ridicule ....

The ridicule is performed without ho stility, ra ther with a sense of at

'l'llllPLA -rru.u 1.1VI P II NTHI. ATJllllUlR III HUN

I l par tial ident if ication and e mpathy. It is in thi s way that the violence

ind aggressivi ty of ei ther sex ' winning ' is avoided, and the stupidity ofmpetitive ness is demonstrated r

evera l researchers have commented on the games of give -and-

t ik played by hunter-gatherer infants with older children or adults.

Infants as young as twelve months old, or even younger, happily give11 \ object to the older playmate, then receive it, give it again, and so

o. The jo y of such giving seems to lie in the instincts of all normal

human infants. In a series of little -known experiments conducted in

th United States, nearly everyone of more than one hundred infants,

\ es twelve to eighteen months, spontaneously gave toys to an adult

Iuring brief sessions in a laboratory room.V In our culture, such be -

II vior is not much commented upon, but in some hunter -gatherer

ultures i t is celebrated. Among the Ju /'hoansi, such giving by infants

Is deliberately cultivated. Grandmothers, in particular, initiate infants

Into the culture of sharing and giving by guiding infants' hands in thegiving of beads to others.P This is the one example of systematic, de-

liberate adult influence on children's play that I have found in re -

S archers' descriptions of hunter -gatherer practices. No human trait

ISmore important to the hunter -gatherer way oflife than the willingness

to give or share.

To be a successful adul t hunter -gatherer, one must not only be able

hare and cooperate with others, but also be able to assert one's own

n ds and wishes effectively, without antagonizing others. Practice at

'll h self-assertion occurs in social play everywhere, as players negotiate

th rules and decide who gets to play what part. In addition, hunter-

atherer children practice such assertion quite deliberately as they

mimic adul t s' arguments. For example, Turnbull described, as follows,

II w Mbuti children, from age nine on up, playfully rehashed and tried

t ) improve upon the arguments they had heard among adults:

It may tart thro ugh imitatio n of a rea l dispute the children wit-

11 S din th maio amp, perhaps the night before . They all tak e

7


10/24

J'l{ EE 'I' L \ARN

roles and imitate the adults. It is almost a form of judgment for

if the adults ta lked their way out ofthe dispute the chi ldren, hav-

ing performed t heir imitation once, are like ly to drop it . If the

chi ldren detect any room for improvemen t, however, they will

explore t hat, and if the adult argumen t was inept and everyone

went to sleep that night in a bad temper, then the children try

and show that they can do better, a nd if they cannot , then they

revert to r idicule which they p lay out until they are all rolling

on the ground in near hysterics. That happens to be the way

many of the most potential ly violent and dangerous disputes are

settled in adult life. 44

Self-C ontrol

R s ur h ars wh study hunter-gatherers often comment on their ex -

t I ior IIn I ry h rfulne s and stoici sm. Anthropologist Richard Gould,III I quot It r on th r res archer on hunter-gatherers ' cheerfulness ,Wlot . n 'n I hav lad nus to notice this same good cheer and readi-1\ 'Sf: t ) [au band J 1 am ng the people of t he Gibson Desert [hunter -

tl r rs In A l l tralia], even when they are plagued by boils and heat,

p stered by f lies, and short of food. This cheerfulness seems to be part

of a disciplined acceptance of fr equent hardships which complaint s

would only aggravate.YHunter -gatherers seem to accept the twists and turns of fa te and

make the best of them, rather than comp lain. Their at titude toward

what we wou ld call hardship isnicely i llustrated by Jean Liedloff in her

now-classic book The Continuum Concept . As a young, adventurouswoman, Liedloffhad joined two Italian explorers on a diamond-hunting

expedition in a Vene zuelan rain forest . At one point on this trip, she,

the two Italians , and several nat ive South Ameri cans of the Tauripan

culture, whom they had hired as helpers, were struggl ing to p ortage

their heavy, awkward dugout canoe over treacherous, sun-baked rocks.

As an excuse to take a mome nt off from this torturous w ork, she stepped

TilE PLAY IlILL Ll L1 VLl u u N 'I'llR . :A 'I'illlIH 1 1 < I lLI IW N

I \ I t photograph the sc n , and this i s her report on wh at she sawf 1 01 that relat ively d etached perspective:

Her before me were several men en gaged in a single task. Two,

the Italians, were tense , frowning, losing th eir tempers at every-

thing, and cursing nonstop in th e distinc tive manner of the Tus-

an. The rest [the Ta uripans 1were having a fine t im e. They we relaughing a t the unwieldiness of the canoe, ma king a game of the

battle, relaxed between pushes, laughing at their own sc rapes,

and espec ially amused when the canoe, as it wobbled forwar d,

pinned o ne, then another, underneath it . The fellow held bare-

backed against the scorched granite , when he could breathe again,

invariably laughed the loudest , enjoy ing his relief ... As I finished

photographing and rejoined the team, I opted out ofthe civi lized

choice and enjoyed, qui te genuinely, the rest ofthe portage.t

Later, Liedloff spent time living among the Tauripans and two other

I tive South Amer ican groups in Venezuela, and she was most im -

I r ssed by their playfulness, their relaxed atti tude toward l ife, and their

pi asant ways of interacting with one another , even in times of hardship.At the time that Liedloff observed them, these groups were not fully

h Inter-gatherers, as they had small gardens to supplement what they

obtained from hunting and ga thering, but they had apparently retained

tI values and at ti tudes that characterize the hunting and gatheringway oflife.

Hunter-gatherers' capacity for chee ;{ulness in the face of hardship

I I S surprising, to we soft compla iners , that I feel compe lled to present

01 1. more example of it. In her book about the Juf'hoansi , Elizabeth

Marshall Thomas recounts the story of a g irl who had been walking

~\I' from her band's cam psite and stepped into a hidden trap that had

b 1 1set b y a wildlife biologist for a hyena. The trap's steel teeth had gone

though the girl's foot, and the trap was anchored solidly to the ground,

o all sh ould do was stand 011 th other foot and wait. Hours later,

I)


11/24

lA I{N

her uncle, who was hunting in the area, saw her from afar, went to see

what was wrong , and then, when he couldn 't open th e trap, went back

to the camp for help . Here is Thomas's comment on the in cident :

I will always remember her calmness as we brought her to the

encampment and dressed the wound. She had been alone, help-

less , and in pain for many hours in a place frequented by hyenas,

yet she acted as ifnothing had happened, nothing at all . Instead,

she chatted about this and that in an offhand manner . To me,

such composure in such circumstances did not seem possible,

and I remember wondering if the nervous system s of the

[Jul'hoansi] were not superior to ours. But of course their ner -

vous systems were the same as ours . I twas their self-control that

was s uperior .... The value of this is firmly from the Old Way.

N thi n w uld be more attractive to a predator than a weeping ,

, (I 'U lln r atur ,alone an d unable to run away .47

1\ ~

:1

'I') urviv lills , m tim b ttertoplaythatnothingiswrongthan

I ) fl ,t wh n on II I lil e a weakling not only to hyenas but also toYOlII ompa nt ns, who may need your strength . On occasions when

llf ls sp ially diffi cult, such composure can keep things from gett ing

worse. It can a llow one to find humor, and therefore even pleasure ,

in ad versity.

How do hunter-gatherers develop their remarkable capacity for

self-control? Nobody really knows, and as far as I can tell nobody be-

fore has even speculated on this issue. My theory is that they develop

the capacity at least partly through their extensive play. In the 1930 s

the great Russian psychologist Lev Vygotsky argued convincingly that

free play with other children is the primary means by which children

learn to control their impulses and emotions . Children's drive to pla y

leads them to ignore discomforts and suppress impulses so the y can

continue abiding by the rules of the game, and such abili ties gradually

transfer to their li ves outs ide ofplay. Mor e recent ly, res arch with an -

imals (discussed in Chapt er 8) uggest that play is s ntial to devel-

110

' l'III I'LAY . IIIU .1 1 I . IV ' I'II N 'I'I(I{. A 'I'IIL (R I I{ 1 III,II{i\N

lip 11 nt f th part of the brain that are crucial for controlling fearII) I ang r and for behaving effec tively in stressful situation s. It may b

1 1 0 oin idence, therefore , that the same cultures that allow their chil-

II the greatest freedom t o play al so produce p eople who, apparentl y,hay th greates t capacity for self-control .

w L;' I HEA R SOME OF YOU CRY , all thi s may be well and goodfor hunter-gatherers, but what r elevance does it have for th e educationof ur childr en, in our culture?

od question. Our children may not need to learn more than what

ltu nter-gatherer children learn, but they do need to learn much that is

III ~ r nt from what hunter -gatherer children learn. For starters, reading,

writing, and arithmetic are absent from hunter -gatherer cultures. More -

OV r, our culture is far more diverse than a hunter-gatherer culture is,II d no child can see it all . It's by no means obvious that the learning

nstincts that evolved to meet the educational needs ofhunter -gatherersII ufficient for education in our culture today .

ut read on. The chapters to come present compell ing evidence that

hlldrens natural , hunter-gatherer ways oflearning ar e sufficient for

( dl l ation in our cul ture, if we provide condi tions that are equivalent,

for ur culture, to those that hunter-gatherer adults provide for theirl hlldren. Such provision requires effort, but not as much effort as thatI [uire d by our present, coercive system of schooling.

irst, however, a l it tle his tory, aimed at understanding the origin ofuu r mo dern schools.

II


12/24

1IH ll T LEARN

A CONCLUDING THOUGHT : Imagine that you had omni pot nlpowers and were faced with the problem of how to g et young human.and other young mammals to practice the skills they mu st develop to

survive and thrive in their local condit ions ofl ife. How might you solv .

that problem? It is hard to imagine a more effective solution th an that

of building into their brains a mechanism that makes them want to

practice those very skills and that rewards such practice with th e ex

perience of joy. That, indeed, is the mechanism that natural sel ection

has built, and we refer to the resultant behavior as play. Perhap s play

would be more respected ifwe cal led i t something l ike self-mot ivat d

practice of life skills;' but that would remove the lightheartedness fro: 1it and thereby reduce its effectiveness. So,we are stuck with the par adox.

We must accept play 's t rivial ity in order to realize i ts profundity.

Nearly three hundred years ago the English poet Thomas Gray

wrote, Where ignorance is bliss, 'Tis folly to be wise:' I' d reverse hill

words and say, Where knowledge and skill are bliss, 'Tis wi se tobe folly

I 11

HE ROLE OF PLAYN SOCIAL AND

E MOTIONALDEVELOPMENT

P LAYING WITH OTHER CHILDREN, a way fro m adults, i s h w h ilI n learn to make their own deci sions, control their em oti 1 1 8 I I

mpulses, see from others' perspectives, n egotiate difference with oth-' I' , and make friends. In short , play ishow childr en learn to tak ntr ol

( f their l ives.

Lessons from Informal Sports

lm gine an old-fashion d andlot game of bas eball. A bun h of I idso rvariou ag s show l i p at a va an 1 t, hopin g they'll find th rs lII ywith. m om n 001, ith rs bybi y I; m al n , s m with11 1nds, rin s \ h 1(, Ill( th r brin s a ball (whi h may not

I 7


13/24

be an act ual baseball), and several have fielders' gloves. There are n ugh

people fo r a game, so th ey decide to play. The two reputably best play 'rs

serve as captains, and the y choose sides. They l ayout the bases=hats,

Frisbees , or any objects of sui table s ize. There ar en't enough pl ayers I()

f ill al l the positions, so they improvise. No adul t is present to t ell tl .

kids what to do or to settle disputes; they have to work everythi ng out

for themsel ves. This wa y of playing ba seball is actuall y play. It is an a

tivity cho sen and d irected by the pla yers themselve s and do ne for i t.

own sake, not for some e xternal rew ard.

Now imagine a Lit tle League game. I t' splayed on a mani cured field,

which looks l ike a sm aller version ofthe fields where profess ional gam 'S

are played. Most kids a re driven there , part ly because i t' s far fro m horneand partly because their parents are behind this activi ty. Man y parent.

stay for the g ame, to sho w their support for their young pl ayer s. Th .

teams a re predetermined, par t of an ongoing league. Each te am has .11\

adult coach, and an adul t umpire call s balls, strikes , and outs . A n off i inlscore is kept , and o ver the course of the season wins and lo sses ar '

tracked t o determi ne the ch ampionsh ip team. Some of the pla yers really

want to b e there; others a re there be cause their parents coa xed or push 'dthem into it .

The informal , self-directed way of playing baseball or an y oth I

game contains valuable les sons that form al, adult-d irected g ames do

not. Here are five such lessons, among the most valuable th at any ,

can learn in life .

II I~ J E T /,/ t A I~N

Lesso n 1: To keep the ga me going you have to keepeveryone happy. 1 h

most fundamental fre edom in all true play is the freedom to quit. I I I

an informal game, nobody is forced to stay, and there are no coach II

parent s, or other adults to disappoint i fyou qui t . The g ame c an continu

only aslong asa suff ic ient number of pla yers choo se to continue. TI1 re

fore, ever yone must do his or her share to keep th e other players happy,

including the pla yers on the other team.

This means that you show cer tain restraints in the inform al am

beyond th ose d ictated by th stat d rul ,whi h d ri v Inst ad rom

I H

'J J lH I{ E J lP I./\ IN. ' ' IAI,AN II M) 'I'I)NA I,IJ lVIILO P M IN I'

y ur un d r tanding f a h play r s n ds . Yi LI d n'I run ull ir Inlo

s nd ba e if the cond bas man i small r than y u and 1111 ht ' I

hurt, even tho ugh it mig ht be con i dered good strategy in Liltl l.cu ue

(where, in fac t, a coach m ight scold you for not running as bar I as I ()

slble). This attitude is why children are injured les fr qu ntly in in-

rmal games than in formal sports, despit e par nt ' b Ii f th 1 1

dult-directed sports are s afer.' If you are pi tching, you pit h s [Ily 10

little Johnn y, because yo u know he can 't hit your fastball. Yo u also kn w

that even your teammates w ould accuse yo u of being mean if y 1I rh r w

ur fastest pitches to someone so yo ung. But when big, xp ri n I

J [orne is up, you throw yo ur best st uff , not just becau e y 1I want t

t him out but also because anyth ing le ss wou ld be in ulting to him.

The golden rule of socia l play is n ot, Do unto others as you would hay I

them do un to you .Rathe r, it is, Do un to others as they would hav you

tlo un to them. The equality of play is not the equality of sam n s , but

Ihe equality that come s from granting equal validity t o th uniqu n ds. md w ishes of every player .

To be a good player of inform al sports you can't blindly f II w ru l s ,Rather, you have to see fro m othe rs' persp ectives , to understand wh I t( thers want and p rovide at least some of that for them. If you fail, youwill be left alone. In the informa l game, ke eping your playmat s ht\1 I

i far mo re important t han winn ing, and th at's true in lif as w II. P OI

me children thi s is a hard lesson to learn , but the drive t play with

others is so strong that mos t eventua lly do learn it if all ow d p i nt y 01

oppor tunity to play-plenty of opportunit y to fa il, suffer th on

qu nces, and then try again.

/ sson 2: Rules are modifiable and player-generated. Becaus ,I 011In

Is tandardized in an informa l game , the pl ayers have to m al up 01 d

In dify rules to adapt to va rying conditi ons. If the vacant 1 t j 1 all\I d the only ball available is a rubb er one that ca rries too w ll, th pl y-

~ I'S may d cide that any ball hit beyond th e lot' boundary i an autIl l . t i ut. This au e th play rs t n ntrat n pla in th ir hit

ruth r Ih. n rnashin th m. All 11, tiv Iy)th Won 'st pi y rs 1 ay I


14/24

required to bat one-hand ed, with their nondominant h and,or to b at

with a broomstick rather than an actual bat . As the game cont inues

and condit ions change, the rules may evolve fur ther. None ofthi s hap-

pens in Litt le League, where the off ic ia l rules are inviolable and int er-

preted by an adult authority. In the formal game, the conditions mu st

f it the rules rather than the other way around.The famous developmental psychologist Jean Piaget noted lon g

ago, in a classic study of children playing marbles, that children acqui re

a higher understanding of rules when they play under their own d i-

rection than when they are directed by adults. ? Adult direct ion lead s

to the assumption that rules are determined by an outside author ity

and thus not to be questioned. When children play just among the m-

selves, however, they come to realize that rules are merely conventio ns,

established to make the game more fun and more fair, and can be

changed to meet changing conditions. For life in a democracy, f ew

lessons are more valuable .

FR IlLl T I.Lli\I~ N

Lesson3: Conf li c ts a re se tt led by a rgumen t nego ti a tion and compromise.

In the informal game, the players not only make and modify the rul es,

but also act asumpires. They decide whether a hi t isfair or foul, wheth r

a runner is safe or out, whether the pitcher is or isn't being too m ean

to l it tle Johnny, and whether Jul io should have to share his brand- new

glove with someone on the other team who doesn't have a glove. S om

of the more popular players may have more pull in these argum ents

than others, but everyone has a say. Everyone who has an opinio n d -

fends it, with as much logic as he or she can muster, and ultim ately

consensus is reached .

Consensus doesn't necessar ily mean complete agreement. It just

means that everyone consents; they're willing to go along with it fo rthe sake of keeping the game going. Consensus is crucial i f you want

the game to continue. The need for consensus in informal pl ay do sn't

come from some highfalutin moral philosophy ; it comes fr om p racti (II

real ity. I f a decis ion m akes so me peop le unhappy, om e of th em I oy

quit , and iftoo many qu it, th v r (s n l d und r L 55 11 I),

T I I R I. il II P I. AY I N IAI.AN I HM '1 1 NA I,I EVil 1 1 M H N I'

LL 1 am in informa l games th at you must cornprorn is if you wnnt top playing . Ifyou don't have a king w ho decide things for you, you

have to learn how to gove rn yourselves.Once I was watching some kids pl ay an in formal game f bask till.

They were spend ing more tim e deciding on th e rules and arguin ab out

whether p articul ar plays were f air than they were playin g th om ', 1verheard a nearb y adul t say, Too b ad they don't have a r f r

ide these things, so they wouldn 't ha ve to spend so much tim d bat-ing:' Well, is it too bad? In the cour se oftheir lives, whi ch will b th

more important skill- shooting b askets or de bating effe tiv ly and

I arning how to compromi se? Kids pl aying sports inform ally are pra -tieing many things at once, the least imp ortant of which m ay b thport itself.

Le sso n 4: T h er e is n o r ea l d iff erence between your team and the op p In

team . In an informal game, the play ers know from the beginnin tha:'their division into two teams i s arbi trary and serves on ly the purpos \

f the game . New teams are chosen each tim e. Billy may h ay b n ( I ~

the enemy team yesterday, but today he is on your team. In fa t, t an 1S

may even change composition as the game goes al ong. Billy may Q I'[

ff on the opposing team, but may move o ver to yours, for b alun ,

when two of your teammates go home for suppe r. Or if both t ams 01

short of players, Bi lly may catch for both . The concept of e n my 0 1

pponent in informal sports lies very clea rly in th e rea lm of play, not

r ality . It is temporary and limited to the gam e itself. In that n tl

informal game resembles a pure fantas y game in which Bi lly P t ndI be an evil giant trying to catch and eat you.

In contrast, in formal league sports, t eams remain relativ ly fix ' Iv r a ser ies of game s, and th e scores, to some degree, have r al-worldn equences-such as trop hies or praise from ad ults. Th r lilt is d -

v lopment of a long-la tin s n of team identity and, with i t , a nthat my team is bett r than otb r toms -b tt rev n in w ays that bayn thin t d with ih am 11\ I may t nd t situati n u tsld rthe


15/24

FREE TO L EA RN

science concerns ingroup -outgroup conflict . Cliques, gangs, ethn ic

chauvinism, nationalism , wars -these can all be d iscussed i n terms of

our te ndenc y to value people we see as part of our group and devalu e

those we see as p art of another g roup. Formal t eam sports feed into

our impulse to make such group distinct ions, in ways that informal

sports do not . 3 Of cour se, enlightened coache s of forma l sports may

lectu re about go od sportsmanship and valuing th e other team , but we

all know how much go od lecturing doe s for child ren-or fo r adults,

for that matter .

Lesson 5: Pl ay ing well and having fun r eally are more important t han

winning. Playing well and having fun a re more important than win-

ning i s a line often used b y Litt le League co aches after a loss, rarely

after a win. But w ith spectators watching, with a troph y on the line,

and with so much attention paid to the score, one ha s to wonder howmany of the pla yers believe that line, and ho w many secretly think that

Vince L ombardi had i t right . The view that winning is the onl y thing

becomes even more p rominent as one moves up to high school and

then to college sports, especiall y in football and b asketball, which ar

the sports Americ an schools c are most about . As the y move up th e lad-

der from children's leagues to high school to college to profession al, an

ever smaller number m ake the t eams. The re st become spect ators for

the re st of thei r lives, growing fat in the st ands and on the couch-

unless they learn to play informally.

In inform al sports , playing well and ha ving fun really are more im -

portant than winning. E veryone kno ws that ; you don' t have to tr y to

convince an yone with a lecture. And you c an pla y regardl ess of you r

level of skill . The whole point of an informal game i s to have fun and

stretch your o wn skills, somet imes in ne w and c reative ways that w ould

be dis allowed or jeered at in a formal g ame. Yo u might, for e xampl ,

try ba tting with a nar row stick, to improve yo ur eye . You might tu rn

easy catches in the outfield into difficult ov er- the-shoulder catch s. Iryou are a b etter player than th th r . rh ar ways t s lf-handi ap,

whi h mal th A m 1 1or II t r s Un '~ I' 'Y ryot) . In 0 formal am ,

T HE RO LE OF PLAY IN S rA L A N UM Tl NA L DEVEL PMEN'I'

where winning mat ters, yo u could never do s uch things; y ou w uld b '

accused of betraying your team . Of course you h ave to be c areful about

when and where to make these creative changes in your pl ay, ev n in

the informal g ame. You ha ve to kno w how to do i t withou t off nd inothers or coming across as a show-off. Alwa ys, in inform al play; youhave to con sult your inner social guide .

In my experience, both a s a player and observer, play ers in inf rmal

sports are much more intent on playing beaut ifully than on wi nnin .

The beaut y may lie in ne w, creati ve ways of moving th at allow you t

express yourself and stretch your physical abi lities wh ile still co rdt-

nating y our action s to me sh with th ose of others. The i nforma l gam ,

at its be st, is an innovative group dan ce, in which the pl ayers crcat

their o wn moves, within th e bounda ries of the agreed -upon ru I s,while taking care not to step on each other 's toes . I 've played formal

games, too , where varsity championship s were at stake, and th os w r.not creative d ances. If stepping on t oes helped you win thos gam is,you stepped on them.

WfUCH IS BETT ER TRAINING fo r real life, the infor mal gam or

the formal one? Th e answer seems cl ear to m e. Real l ife is an inf rmulame. The rules a re endlessl y modifiable and you must d o y ur part to

reate them. In the end , there are no winners or los ers; we all wind Iin the same place . Getting along w ith oth ers is far mor e important t han

beating them. Wh at matters in life i s how you p lay th e game, h w n u h

fun you have a long the way , and h ow much joy you gi ve to oth r . J h c

are the lesso ns of in forma l social play, and they are f ar, far mor irn-p rtant than learning the coach's met hod for throwing a curv ball or

sliding into second ba se. I'm not again st forma l sports for kid wh

I' ally want them, but such sp r t are no substitute for informal pJa.y

wh n it comes to 1 arnin th I s n w all mu t 1 arn to Iiv a s at: _yin life.

In on

VllySI

I Y d nt th u lbury

I' S(lI I I II (h I~ hool,


16/24

Children learn valuable s ocial lessons in al l so rts of free s ocial play, not

just in info rmal sports. As illustration, here' s a real example of the kind

of imaginative play that researchers refer to as sociodramatic play, whee

children ado pt roles and act ou t story l ines toget her. All over the world,

such p lay predomin ates among children in the age ran ge of thre

to six.

J lR E E T LLlAI{N

presented some of these same thought s more po etically than I. H

wrote, in part:

In all the years of playing very physica l games like football, so ccer,

and basketball [at Sudbury Valley] , there has never b een an in jury

beyond a minor cut or bruise. People play all thes e sports in thei r

regular clothes withou t any ofthe standard protective equ ipment

that is norm ally required . How can this be expla ined when

people wearing protectiv e pads injure eac h other w ith alarming

frequency ? Because in a regimented, perfo rmance-or iented way

oflook ing at sports (or l ife) ,making sure you don't hurt som eone

becom es less important than winning. So i t doesn't ma tter how

much you talk about sportsmanshi p or how many safety pads

you w ear, people ar e going to get hurt . When you ap proach

sports (or life r as a fun, exciting process, as s omething that is

done for the shee r joy and beauty of doing it, then n ot hurtingsomeone, not imp airing the ir ability to enjoy the same proc ess,

becomes a top priority .. .. To pa rticipate in an activi ty w here

the clash of unequal bod ies is transfo rmed through teamw ork,

pursuit of pe rsonal excellence , responsibility, and r estraint into

a common union of equal s ouls in pursuit of meaningful ex pe-

r ience h as been one of the most profound exper iences of my life.

I am sure it has had a similar effect on others /'

Le sso ns fr om Sociodramatic Pl ay

I )~,

'1 1 I I{ )1 .1 ( II I'I,A IN 'IAI. AN I) HM l '1I ONA I.I IW III,O I M I'. N I'

Annie (ag fiv y ars, lev n months) and B ith ( f iv y '01 $, two

m nths) were video-recorded by researchers Hans Furth and . J I 111 '

a they played a n imaginary game in the dress-up area of th ilr ar t 'I -school day-care center.' Annie started the ganle by saying, L ts pr ,t '1) Ithat we had a ball tomorrow night and we had to get our stuff r \ Iy.

Beth respond ed by pick ing up a dr ess and saying, This was my 1r $8,'

thereby demonstrating her implici t acc eptance of t he play id a a n l h r

agerness to get the prop she wanted m ost. For the next twenty mlnut 'fl,

the two picked their clothing and acce ssories and discussed whs t woul I

bappen at the ball . Much of this time w as spent haggl ing ov r who

would play which ro le and who would g et to use which props. 'I'h y

haggled over fancy items of c lothing, a tel ephone, a table, a pair ofbino -

ulars , and where each wou ld sleep the night b efore the ball. In each littl

argument, e ach girl gave reasons why sh e needed o r should hav

that prop or role, but did so tactful ly so asno t to offend th e other play'.'.

Then, when Annie and Beth had come to a fai rly sat isfactory a r . ment on thes e issues, another l it tle gir l, Celia (age fo ur years, 1111 1

months) came int o the dress-up area from outdo ors and ask d to jo ltthem. They let he r in, and then all three began a new round of no li .

ations about pr ops and roles to inc lude Celia. Each girl felt stron Iybout such matters a s which clothes she would wea r, what en tly woul I

happen at the b all, and who was older and had high er status in th Ily.Por the play t o go on, they h ad to reach consensus on every major iss li .

For example, Annie and Beth both though t that Celia, the youn .I

. nd sm allest of the three, should be the l ittle sister:' but Celia mpha t

1 ally refused that role. Tomo llify her , Annie and Beth agreed that 11I

ould be the big sis ter:' Then, to preserve th eir relative status, Annl

and Bet h elevated t hemse lves to the rank of moth ers. There was S I ll I

discussion of whet her Celia could h ave two moth ers, since r any l

p rson can hav e only one mothe r;' which th ey resolved by d id ln

that one would b e the stepmother. All three gir ls wanted to b n am d

[loria , w hich they decided was okay. All thre girls wanted t marry

rh prlnc and be ome a qu n, B th and Anni a kn wI d d that In

I I


17/24

J lR IlJ lT I. I'A I{N

real life the princ e could m arry only one of them, but d ecided that jus :

for pretend i twould be okay for him to marry both o f them. Howev ' I' ,

the idea of his also marrying Celia was too much for them to accept,

even in their play, sothey refused Celia's request that he marry h er, too.

To placate her, however, they elevated Celia sti ll fur ther to the role of

big sister princess:'

These three girls were already ski lled social players, and the y were

clearly becoming more skilled through the kind of practice th at th is

play episode illustrates. Among the biggest lessons of such pl ay ar '

those of self-assertion, negot ia tion, and compromise. Each gi rl had to

present her case ski ll ful ly to come as close as possible to gett ing what

she wanted without upsetting the other players. In their manner ofsp eech,

the girls demonstrated that they understood the necessity of gai ning

consensus. For example, their proposals on how to play usuall y took

the form of suggestions rather than demands. Most proposals e nd d

with tag questions, such as okay? or all right? or right?In their negotiations the gir ls frequently referred to certain rul s

that had become, by tradi tion, regular rules ofplay among the chi l dren

in this day-care center. One was the finder 's rule. Whoever f irst f ound

or claimed a prop was generally the one who got to use it . Howev er, a 11

even higher rule, which could trump the finder's rule, was the fai rn S ~

rule. It would not be right for one child to have all or most of the d esired

props; they had to be divided in a way that seemed at least reason ably

fair to al l . Players in all sorts of games are emphatic in their insi sten '

on fairness, though they may disagree about the nature of that id al

state and how to reach it.

Another rule often invoked (not by this name) was the consi sten y

rule. The play had to be internally consistent . For example, when A nn i

who was eager for the ball to get under way, impulsively annou n d

that the ball was about to begin, Beth reminded her -that they h ad al

ready decided that it wouldn 't begin until the next da y. They had to

. have a pretend night of sleep before the ball could be gin. Anni e I I n

derstood and immediat ely co nceded the poi nt. The play a lso, to m '

degree at least, had to be c nsistent with th girl' und r tanding 01

'i'IIE I{ ) I, I F I'I.A IN . IA LA N III M 'I'I( NA I, l ItV II, I'M I N I'

h w thing ar in th r al w rJd. omcttrn th y ul l bid th I ru l ,

a when th y decided that both Anni and B th w uld n arry th pr t but such bending r equired discussion, agreement, and, g n rally, [\

knowledgm ent that this was not how things work ed in reality, As th y

played, the girls also affirmed and consolidated their und rsta 11 Iin sf certain conventions and rule s in the real world. Ac ordin t P ir th

and Kane's anal ysis, sociod ramatic play is a means by whi h you 11

hildr en develop and exercise mental mod els of the oci ty in whi hthey live. In the researchers' words, children construct soci tV'thl 1I h

their play.

The three little girls were pl aying, do ing what they wan t d t do.

But because what they wanted to do w as to play an elaborate male

believe game with the other girls, they could n't do exactly what th y

wanted to. They had to work out compromi ses and agreem nts with

the others , and they had to cont rol their impulses to coh re with th

roles and story lines the y had ag reed upon. This is the magi f hil-drens social play. Bydoing what they want to do, which is to p lay with

ther chi ldren, chi ldren learn to compromi se and not do exa tly what

they want to do. Celia wanted to become a qu een, but she was 01 a yb ing big sister princess :' All of the girls wanted th e most beaut [1I1 d r S H-

up clothes, but they had to divide them up in a way th at s m dol l'

nough to each of them . Annie at some point wanted th b all to Sltll't

immediately -she was so eager for the prince t o propos t h r - ~ t

he had to control this impulse to ma intain co nsistenc y wit h th nar-

rative that the girl s had already decid ed upon. All of thi elf- ntr )1nd compromise occurred with no adult in tervention . In fa t, a lull

intervent ion would have ruined i t . The child ren clearly enjoy d x r-

is ing their own power, intel ligence, and cap acity for s elf- restrai nt as

they negotiated with one another, with no adul t input at a ll.

I used thi s example of pl ay because it was recor ded and avail, bl ,

li t there is nothing uniqu e about it. Watch any gro up oflittl hildr I

playing together, wh hay had xtensive ex perience at su h play, an Iy II will arnazin 0 ial mind < t w rk. But wat h fr m a di I I

II nspi l. us ly. If you w II h I oys you may f n that th y I not r II


18/24

P R E 1 T L EA R N

tactful as An nie, Beth, and Celia in their negot iations, but th y, t 0 ,

generall y figure out ways to meet one another's needs for th e sal orthe game.

It 's not po ssible to conduct long-t erm experiment s to see if child r I

who are allowed more opportunity for pla y of thi s sort d evelop great I'

social skill s than tho se who aren 't, but correlati onal studie s and short -

term experiment s, as wel l a s common sense, strongl y suppo rt this hy-pothesis. Children who engage in mor e sociodr amatic pla y have, by

various mea sures, been shown to demon strate mo re empath y, and mol '

ability to under stand what another per son th inks, knows, or desires,

than do children who engage in less. Moreover , severa l short-t erm ex-periments conducted in preschools have shown that when som e chil-

dren are provided with extra opportunity to eng age in sociodr amati

play and others are not, those in the extra -play groups later exhibit /

higher performance on various measure s of social perspective-t akin

and ability to get along with others than do those in the control gr oups?

Chil d r en s Play in the Holoca ust

W turn no w from the sweet scene of three little g irls in the d ress-uj

area of a playroom to terrible scenes-ch ildren in Na zi con centrati J

camps . If play we re a luxury, children he re would not ha ve pla yed. B lit

play i s not a lu xury. Play is children 's means of making sense of thei I'

environment and adapting to it, as be st they can, rega rdless ofth e typ

of environment . In the remarkable book Children and Play in the Holo-

caust his tor ian George Eisen, using diaries and interviews of su rvivorsasevidence, described play among Jewish children in Nazi ghet tos an I

concentration camps.fIn the ghettos, the first stage in concentration before prison ers wer '

sent off to labor and extermination camps, parent s tried desperat Iy

to divert their children's at tent ion from the horror s around th em and to

preserve some semblance ofthe innocent pl ay the children had known

before . They created makeshi ft playgrounds and tri ed to lead th e h II

dren in tr aditional games. The adults themselves p layed in wa y aimed

I

'I'IIHR ) I.H{ J lI'I.A IN ) IAI.AN J )H M() 'I'I lN AI.IIlVI I.( M IN I'

I t psy h I ap [1' m th lr rim situ .ll n Irlh y I lu y I I t III.I xarnple, n man t1 'ad d a rust fbr ad ~ r a h ssb or I, t . H I.

by playing chess he could forg t his hung r . But th hi ldr I W II I I

hav none of t hat. They played games de signed to on fr I l, not < vo I,

the horrors. T hey p layed games of war, of blowin g up bun k I S ; o r s laughtering:' of seizing th e clothes of t he dead:' and an s r r 'slstance. At Vilna, Jewish child ren p layed Jews and l ap 1 1\ I ,n IIwhich the Jew s would overpo wer their torment ers and b at th m wlth

their own rifle s (sticks).

Even in the extermi nation c amps, the children who w r till I 'ollhy

nough to mov e around played. In on e camp they p layed a am. all I

tickling th e corpse:' At A uschwit z-Birkena u they dared n aneth r to

touch the electric fe nce. They pl ayed gas c hamber:' a gam in wh i h

they threw rocks into a p it and screamed the sounds of p op t dyln .

ne game of their own devising w as modeled after t he camp ' daily roll

all and wa s called klepsi-k lepsi a comm on te rm for tea ling. n play-

. mate was blindfol ded; then one of t he others would step f rward ( In I

hit him h ard on the face; and t hen, with bl indfold rem v d , lh O il

who had be en hit had to gu ess, from f acial express ions or th r cvl I I I,who had hit him. To s urvive at Au schwitz, one had to b an

bluffing-for example , abou t s teal ing bread or about knowin r S III Ines escape or res istance plans . Klepsi-k lepsi may hav e b n P I \ tI

~ r that skill.

In play, whether it is the idyllic play w e most like to envi i n r II '

play described by Eis en, child ren bring the realities of th ir w rI I n t ()

a fictional context , where it is safe to co nfront them, t xp 1 1 n \them, and to practice ways of dea ling with th em. Som e P opl l I that violent play crea tes violent ad ults, but in rea lity th opp o 'IL

i true. Violence i n the adult w orld leads children, quit e pr p rly I(I lay at vio lence. How e lse can they prepare themselves In tionally,

intellectually, and physic ally for reality? It is w rong to t hink thar s rn '.

h w w can reform t he w rld for t he future by cont rollin hillr n'sI lay and ntr lling what th y I arn. If w w ant t r f r ill th wort I,w 1 av l r f rrn th w rl Ij hlldr n wi ll II w lilt '. Th hil II'


19/24

must, and wi ll, prepare themsel ves fo r the r eal world to whi ch th y

must adapt to survive.

Children' s use of pl ay to adapt to trauma ha s also bee n observed j n

other situat ions closer to home . For instance , a group of children who, .

unfortunately, had seen a man fall twent y feet to the g round and suffer

seriou s injur y outside their nurser y school window we re much dis-

tressed by this experienc e. For month s afterward they pla yed, on thei rown initiati ve, at such th emes a s falling , injur y, hospita ls, and dea th.'

Children who have e xperienced terrori st attack s again st them or th eir

parent s have like wise been observed t o play at theme s that in volve re-

enactment c oupled with some sort of soothing .P The soothing in thei r

play may in volve repair and mending of damages, protect ion an d nur-

turance for those left behi nd, or the eventual triumph of good ov er evil.

Even chi ld ren who have never experienced any par ticular t raum a,

beyond the little one s everyone e xperiences, often pl ay at em otion-

arousing, traumatic scenes . In doing so, they may be steeling th emselvest d al with all sorts of unpredictable but ine vitable unhapp y and painful

v nts. R searcher Gise la We gener-Sp ohring ha s described in stancesf su h play among norma l, well-adjusted kinde rgarteners in G ermany.

For example, she descr ibed a scene of whipping play;' in which a

popu lar boy sat bound in a chair wh ile being whipped, with r elativ ely

hard blows w ith a leather strap, b y his pla ymates .' To comfo rt him as

he was being whipped, two gir ls gave him blocks a s bananas to eat. Th

boys doing the whipping stopped occasionall y to give him pretend

drink s of water . This appe ared to be highl y enjoyable pla y for all of th

participant s, on the important life theme of pain and soothing fo r pai n.

According to Wegener-Spohring, the only real violence related to this

play occu rred when the k indergarten teacher came over and stop p dit, because she felt it was aggressive. Wegener -Spoh ring cont ends that

disruption ofgood pla y, when there is n o good reason to do so, is always

an act of violence and tends to produce a violent reaction. When th '

whipping game wa s forc ibly stopp ed, the child ren's temper s turn I

bad. They began kn ocking over chairs and misb ehaving in o th r ways,

in apparent acts of r ebellion.

170

'l'IIE I~ Lil IiP LA IN( IAI.AN I)I'M( 'I'IONAL IH YH I.) M I N I'

T he Value o f Dan ger ou s Play

Re earchers who study play in animals h ave sugg sted that a rn I )1

volutionary purpos e of play is to help th e youn g learn h w 10 01 with emergencies.P Juve nile mammals of all species d libcrut Iy \I I Irepeated ly put themse lves into awkward, m oderately dan rous, 111 0 Irate ly frigh tening sit uations in their p lay. As they playful ly a llop , I II,

and chase one another aro und they con tinuou sly alt rnat b I w 1\

losing and regaining co ntrol of their bodil y movements. WI 1 1 0 It

kids jump, for example, t hey twist and turn in w ays t hat ma l it dlflic III

to land. Young monkeys and apes playfull y swing ing in tr s ho osbranches that are sufficiently far apart and high enough offth roun Ito create a degree o f fear, but not so high that a fall woul d aus S rlous

injury. Young chim panzees seem especially to enjoygam s dr p ~ II

freely from h igh branches and then catching onto low r on at th losl

moment befo re hi tting the ground.Young mammal s of nearly all species pl ay chase gam s. 'I'h y

after o ne anothe r and take turns at be ing th e pursued and th

For most specie s, the apparent ly preferred po sition in su h hosethat of being pursued.P A typica l game-for a pair of youn m onl iylambs, or squi rrels, for example -starts with on e youngst r pi yrullyattacking the other an d then running off while lookin g ba I 10 U I'

that the provoked play mate is purs uing. Obs ervers o f m nl pi iyhave noted th at the chased animal generall y shows m r vid n I

d light in the game-s uch as a broad playfac e (the mon l y ulv ,1 1 I

fa smile)-than does the pursuer. Apparentl y, the reward f r his 1 1I the op portunity to take a turn at being chased. Wh en th UI'Sll I'atches an d t ags t he other (typically with a playful nip) , th r twh I

pursuer turns and joyfully becomes the pursu ed. Noti ce that th pr '.f rred position i s the posit ion o f greatest vulnerabili ty. Th n who isrunnin g away has le s control over what i happ ning, has I ss )PI orIunity to top and tak a br k, and i m r vuln rabl l fa llin andII Jury than i th n wh i, rut nin aft r. 'l'h vuln rablllty ilS I ms pa rt a n 01 I fIll S' II () Ihrlll,

171


20/24

J lH J tlT IJ ARN

In addit ion to ch asing games, young mamm als, especially y un

male s, engage in a g reat d eal of pl ayful fight ing. Depending on th '

species , they butt head s, attempt to thro w each o ther t o the groun d, at-

tempt to pin each other, and try to give each other pl ayful nip s at sp ecif .

target locations . Unlike in a real f ight, in a play fight the larger and m or

skilled animal deliberatel y self-handicaps to a void dominating the play-

mate. Det ailed studie s of juvenile r ats play fighting sugge st that for th i s

specie s at lea st, each animal prefer s to be in the subordinate p osition,

which , again , offer s the gre atest physical and emoti onal challenge. IS On

rat will self-handicap to allow the pla ymate to g et into the att ack, on-

top posi tion and then wil l struggle to reco ver. Over time, the pl ayma tes

alternate, so each can practice recoveri ng from the vulnerable p osition.

Even casual observ ation shows that human children, lik e oth r

young m ammals, deliberatel y put them selves into f ear-inducing , vul -

nerable po sitions in their pla y. They do thi s as they cl imb high in trees,

dive off hig h towers or cliffs, leap over crevices from rock to rock, per-form tricks on playground equipment, o r skateboard do wn banisters.

In their playful fig hting, yo ung children, like oth er young m ammals,

alternate between getting into and out of vulnerable po sition s.l Th

stronger par tner se lf-handicaps, to allow the w eaker partner t o brea k

free from being pinned and to allow that partner t o get into th e attack

position, so both can experience the th rill of being in the vuln erabl

position and e scaping from it . In al l of this , young humans a re much

like the young of other mammals, and th ey are app arently learni ng th

same cru cial lessons.

Think about the uni versal plea sure of cha sing game s. The three-

year-old girl squeals with almost unbearable jo y as she flees from t h

terrible monster, in th e form of her father or big brother, who th reatens

to catch her and eat her for breakfa st. In every human ch asing gam I

can think of , the prefer red position i s that of be ing cha sed. In night-

mares and in real life , noth ing is more terri fying t han being chased by

a predator o r monster . But in pla y, nothing is more del ightful .

The most universa l and basic of al l human chasing game i ta .

Children ev erywhere play it, and the g 'ai, alway , is to sp nd as mu I

17

'l 1 11 1 { I,ll III'I,A IN IA I.AN I)ItM '1 1 NA I.l H V I I, )I'M ltN I

Ur n bing ha d, and as li ttl ti m hasing, a p sible. 'l'h punl hment for being caught i s that you b ecome it;' and then you must s rvtime as chaser until you catc h someone and can on ce agai n n) y b n

hased . As ch ildren grow o lder they p lay incr easingly sophist etc Iversions of tag, wit h rules th at give a dditional stru ctur to thA typica l example is fox and geese ;' which my childh ood fri nd I d

I played o n ice skates , o n paths carve d through th e snow n froz 11ponds in M innesota. The preferred pos ition alw ays was to b a

not the fox . If you were caught, you had to b e the fox until y u au ht

omeone and co uld again be a goose. Hi de-and -seek and d dg ball ar

not exactly cha sing g ames, but they, too, follow th e rule: the pr ferr dposition i s to be pur sued. Pun ishment for being found, or for being hit

by the bal l, is th at you have to be a pursuer.

Even form al team sports , such as soccer, Ameri can football, bas-

ketball, and hockey, can be u nderstood as compl ex versions of tag. Th

joy lies in running across a field or cour t-kicking or ca rrying r dri -.bling a ball, or pu shing a puck , towar d some goal -whil e a h I'd f

enemies chase after y ou. Ba seball, too, is a form of t ag. Th ba It 1',

after hitting the b all, tries to run around a speci fied loop , from on of

point to another, while the oth er team tries to tag him out . In all su hgames, the teams alternate betw een offense and defen se, and th I r ferred po sition i s offense, in which you are chased as you run th r 1I h ene my ground .

In many such vigorous activities, childr en are testing their wn

as well as their physical pro wess . The combination o f fear and j ythe feeling we call thrill. In such p lay child ren must b e in har of

their own activities, because only they know how to do se th n s Iv lwith the right amount of fear. Children swinging on swing s ets o r 11 m b-

ing trees or ropes know ho w high to go to generate the l evel of f ar th t6 r them creates excitement but not terror. No parent , coach, r ymt acher can ev er mak e that jud gm nt for th em. In the whipp in urn'

ribed by W eg ner- pohrin th boy being whipp d w uld h vi nal d th whippin t stop If It b am t palnful.Jn a ll h rrns r

pla yful 1 htin nd h I . In I I I lid I as th ri ht to nil t lrn - I I I

'I'III(R I I flP I AYIN 0 'IAt AN llItMll 'I'1 )N AI IIWH I ()I'M I(N I'


21/24

or to quit if the emoti onal or physical challenge becomes too gr a t.

Without that r ight, the activi ty isno longer play.

In our cul ture today, parents and other adults overpr otect chil dren

from possible dangers in play. We seriously underest imate chi ld ren's

abil ity to take care of themselves and make good judgments. In thi s re-

spect, we differ not just from hunter-gatherer cultures (as describe d in

Chapter 2), but from all traditional cultures in which children pla yedfreely. Our underestimation becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy -by de-

priving children of freedom, we deprive them ofthe opportunit ies th ey

need to learn how to take control of their own behavior and emotio ns.

The Decline of Empathy andthe Rise of Narcissism

As I discussed in Chapter 1, t he decline of children's free play s ince

about 1955has been accompanied by a continuous rise in anxiety, de-

press ion, and feel ings of helplessness in young people. Related to th ese

findings, there has also been an increase in narcissism and decli ne

in empathy.

Narcissism refers to an inflated view of the self, which tends to s ep-

arate the self from others and prevent the formation of meaningf ul

two-way relat ionships. Since the late 1970s, i thas been assessed in n or-

mative groups of college students using the Narcissistic Personality In-

ventory (NPI), a questionnaire designed to tap the degree to whi ch

people are primarily concerned about themselves versus the degre e to

which they are concerned about others. Empathy is more or less t hopposi te of narcissism. I t refers to a tendency to connect emotion ally

with others, to see things from others' point of view, and to feel sym-

pathy for others' misfortunes. I thas been assessed in normative gr oups

of col lege students since the late 1970swith a quest ionnaire cal l ed th

Interpersonal Reactivity Index. Scores on these questionnaires reveal

a significant r ise in narcissism over the years and a signif ic ant declin

in empathy. '? The quest ionnaire scores are apparent ly valid measur Sj

they correlate with r eal-world behaviors. Fo r example, peopl who

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I III(R I.I flP I,AYIN 0 IAt.AN llItMll I 1 )N AI,IIWH I.()I M I(N I

r high on nar tssi m hav b '11 foun I t o ov rrat th II' own a lllill

ompared to thos of others, to lash out angr ily in r pO.Is to rlt I, m,and to commit whit e-collar crimes at higher rat s than th g 11 ral pop-ulation.P Those who score low on empathy are mor 1 iI Iy tha n III

average person to en gage in bullying and less likely to volunt > r to h 1\

people in need.'?

From all I h ave said in this chapter , it should be no my t ry why Idecline in play would be accompani ed by a rise i

free to learn - play

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