four laws of marriage
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The Four Lawsof MarriageHow to Have a Marriage Made in Eden
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Genesis 1:27So God created man in hisown image, in
the image of God created he him; male and
female created he them.
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Men and Women are Different!
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Waffles and Spaghetti
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Ellen Whites Marriage SermonYou each have an identity of your own, but in that identity
there must be a unity. There is constantly to be a developmentof the faculties that God has given you, that you may
improve, improve, and that you may indeed be looked upon bythe heavenly angels with commendation.
You are not called to give up your identity; you each
have an identity of your own. These may not always run in
the very same channel, and yet there may be that blending
that God requires. Manuscript Releases, v. 10, p. 179
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What is the purposeof marriage?
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The purpose of marriage
is to blending twodifferent personalities
into the image of God.
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Is the goal of
marriage happinessor holiness?
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Modern marriageIs founded on feelings of attraction
Assumes that there is one other person outthere who perfectly meets my needs andunderstands me
Measures success based on happiness
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Many marriage books dont admit thisspiritual reality:
Whether you have just started your life together,have had an average marriage for a number of years,have a bad marriage, or even have had an affair, youcan build or rebuild your marriage if you learn tobecome aware of each others needs andlearn to meet them . His Needs, Her Needs,p. 9
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Gods Plan vs. Satans PlanGod wants to reflect to the universe His loveand character. The Sabbath and marriage arethe two institutions that God gave us asvehicles of holiness. Satans plan is to pervertboth institutions so that people ultimatelybecome selfish and reflect the character of thedeceiver.
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Four Laws ofBlending
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Genesis 2:23-25
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Gods PlanMarriage is based on an essential unity, even thoughwe are different.
Notice Adams reaction, This at last is bone of mybones and flesh of my flesh.Adam experiences an attraction that is based on unityin the midst of their diversity
Gods plan is for two people to be united as closely aspossible in their desire to reflect His image and forattraction to be based on that unity.
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The Law of Priority
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The Law of PriorityFor this cause a man shall leave his father
and his mother
azab to leave or relinquish
To leave your father and mother is to moveyour spouse to a position of commitmentthat exceeds your previous commitments
and takes you out of your comfort zones
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Legitimate Jealousy
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Dating vs. Marriage
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Dating vs. Marriage
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The subtle temptationsHe works all the time, and when he gets home, he is tiredand just wants to rest. When he does get time off, he is doingsomething with his buddies.She doesnt even know when Im home. She is so busy withthe kids and the house that anything I want to get romanticor have her do something with me, she is worn out.He/She is always on the computer
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A Willingness to Let Go
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The pursuit of happiness
If your goal is happiness, your method of achieving itwill be selfishness.
If your goal is holiness, your method of achieving itwill be sanctification.
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If your goal is happinessYour contentment will rise and fall on your spousesbehavior.
When your spouse does not please you, you will seekto manipulate him or her.You will swing from apathy to resentment, anger,disillusionment or depression.You may find yourself thinking, If only he/she would_______, I would be happy.You will approach conflict self-protectively.
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If your goal is holinessYou will rely on Christ as the rock-solid foundation ofyour happiness and self-worthYou will approach conflicts with a primary desire notto be ministered unto, but to minister.You will respond to conflicts lovingly and respectfully,whether or not you feel loved or respected.You will bring to your home an atmosphere of heaven.
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The Law of Pursuit and shall cleave to his wife
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The Law of PursuitThe word cleave does not mean tocut or to separate, but rather, topursue with great energy and to clingto something zealously.There is a secret of staying in love work!
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Marriage as workFor the rest of your life, you must work everyday at your marriage for it be rewarding andhealthy. When you stop working at it, it willstop working for you. Marriage on the Rock ,p. 36
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Revelation 2:51. Remember therefore from where you have fallen:Try to recapture that first love experience!
Remember what you used to do at first.2. Repent
Literally, do a u-turn admit where you went
wrong and make an adjustment
3. And do the works you did at firstInvest time and energy into your relationship likeyou used to. Change your actions and your heart will
follow.
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The Law of PossessionAnd they shall become one flesh
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The Law of PossessionThe husband should give to his wife herconjugal rights, and likewise the wife to herhusband.For the wife does not have authority over herown body, but the husband does. Likewise thehusband does not have authority over his ownbody, but the wife does.1 Corinthians 7:3, 4 (ESV)
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Holding Back
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The Law of PossessionAre you planning for your wife /husband (0r future spouse) tohave full possession of?
SexMoneyFriendshipsTimeFeelings and emotions
Being one flesh means that you enter into a state of intimateunion in all areas of your life
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THE PRINCIPLE OF ONENESSUnconditional, affectionate and intimate
devotion to each other that encourages
mutual growth in the image of God
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Possession is a result of Surrender
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The Law of PurityAnd the man and his wife were both naked and werenot ashamed.
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Gods IdealUnhindered intimacy without shame
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Removing the ShameMarriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled.Hebrews 13:4
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The Problem of SinWith sin there is an initial euphoria followed by
Guilt
ShameHidingBlame
These effectively destroy intimacy
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Dealing with Parasites
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How to Deal with SinSin affects every area of your life including yourspouseAdmit your sin and trust to Gods plan for purity
1 John 1:9Pray for each other
James 5:16Get accountability
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Unhindered IntimacyGods plan for your life (holiness and
purity) results in true and unbounded
intimacy without shame
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Gods Plan for Your MarriageThe Law of PriorityThe Law of PursuitThe Law of PossessionThe Law of Purity