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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 1

    Importance of Family Communication for Former Foster Youth

    in Relation to Life after Aging Out of the Child Welfare System:

    A Literate Review

    Christopher J. Bowen

    Kent State University

    Advanced Interpersonal Communication

    45001-001

    Prof. Child

    (Originally wrote) May 9th, 2010

    (Re-edited) April 20th, 2011

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 2

    Abstract

    The significance of this paper is to explain how communication can be a key used to help former

    and current foster youth have a better chance at a successful adulthood. Parent-child relations

    should not be limited to biological families and parents alone. Foster parents and child welfare

    agencies can learn a lot from parent-child concepts to apply in foster youths lives. Also, social

    service agencies can use communication skills. Therefore, allowing foster children to have a

    better chance at a successful adulthood. For instance, many college students have safety nets in

    parents to rely upon after becoming an adult; however, many foster youth do not have this luxury

    Therefore, this paper addresses how foster parents can fill this role and the child welfare system

    can assist in this issue as well. This paper also stresses that foster parents that are not committed

    to the foster youth living in their home, in order to create a parent-child communicative role with

    their foster youth that is similar to communicative roles between biological families, then they

    should not take the job. The theories used to explain this process were the attraction theory and

    affection theory. This is because even though these theories are mostly related to romantic

    relationships. There are similarities between how romantic relationship attraction and affection

    are related to parent-child relations and therefore foster parent-foster child relations, too.

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 3

    Importance of Family Communication for Former Foster Youth

    in Relation to Life after Aging Out of the Child Welfare System:

    A Literate Review

    Communication has long been considered an integral part in a childs development

    throughout their life. However, one must consider the effects that a lack of communication can

    have on children and their development, especially when children start to reach adulthood.

    Children who have been raised in a situation with proper parenting tend to have better

    communication skills when they reach adulthood (Williams & Hughes, 2005). These

    communication skills affect all kinds of relationships that can range from professional, personal,

    friendly, romantic and even communication in relation towards their own children in the future.

    In modern times children can often be found living in an array of many different types of

    parental situations. These types of situations include: biological families of single parents, dual

    parents, and kinship to the biological family. Also there are adopted families and foster families.

    There are many more types of families; however, these styles are the main focus of this paper.

    To better understand why communication aspects are so important to a childs

    development, and the effects that communication has on a child once they near adulthood and

    into their adulthood this paper will be broken down into two main categories that will stress the

    importance of communication in relation to family and parents. In examining communication we

    will look at the effects of communication in relation to family and parents and how children fair

    later in life. Children growing up in a situation with biological family or kin, and adopted

    families versus children that grow-up in foster style families that have little or no biological

    family or parent relations, proper parent-child communication settings are lacking.

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 5

    stress the academic and life importances of communication for younger children in order to

    have successful adulthoods.

    The reason these two points are so unique and important to a childs communication in

    life is how they relate to the children after life. In most biological families or kin families and

    adopted families children have a presence of their family or kin later in life to rely upon in

    difficult situations. However, many, if not most, foster youth do not have this family or kin

    presence after time in their respected situation. Therefore, children that grow-up in this type of

    situations tend to have to face a world without any support system other than their own

    (Anderson, 2010). Life for former foster youth tends to push them into the life style of an adult at

    way too early of an age. This then leads to many troubles from criminal to psychological in the

    childs life later on (Anderson, 2010). Anderson is currently in the process of creating a

    documentary film that shows the hardship and life of the American foster child. The

    documentary is entitledFrom Place to Place in which the film signifies the constant moving for

    children in the child welfare system. Having an adult or parent later in life after leaving the child

    welfare system can give a former foster youth the support they need (Rushlo, 2010). Supportive

    interactions can have a positive impact on a childs development especially in relation to their

    own communication.

    The techniques used to evaluate this information were found through a series of journal

    articles in the communication fields and social services fields by previous researchers. This is

    because this paper addresses a combination of how parent-child communication and foster youth

    transition into adulthood have strong relational similarities. Therefore, this paper addresses a

    possible new subfield within communication studies or social service studies that has up to this

    point no primary research that was found. However, because this combination of the two fields

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 6

    has little or no research done to promote research findings secondary sources were the most

    acceptable means of finding quality material to address these issues. Also, due to the style and

    approach of this particular paper primary research would be hard to study, if not unobtainable.

    Also, due to my personal experiences in relation to the situations of this paper it can be seen that

    using secondary sources is best in order to remove possible biases from the findings.

    Review of Literature/Findings

    This paper has been broken down in to two main categories. First this paper will address

    communication between parents and children in their biological families. Therefore, this

    information will come from communication research to explain parent-child communication

    techniques. Within this section the paper will examine how masculine and feminine

    communication styles will affect how children and parents communicate with their own sex and

    the opposite sex. Also, this section will explain how children going through puberty will have an

    abrupt change in their communication styles and need both masculine and feminine

    communication around them to effectively grow into adulthood.

    The second main section of this paper will examine how the research on parent-child

    communication within biological families can be applied to foster youth. Also, this section will

    explain the different styles of foster youth living arrangements, the importance of addressing

    foster parent-foster child communication issues, and explaining how parent-child (foster parent-

    foster child) communication have profound effects on how foster youth develop in adulthood.

    A small third section will address how the combination of these two fields

    (communication studies and social service studies) into a new subfield within either or both

    existing fields is needed in order to address the communication issues that plague foster youth

    before they transition into adulthood. Also, this section explains that this new subfield would be

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 7

    a valued asset to social service agencies and future or current foster parents to address bettering

    their programs and to help foster youth that are aging out of the child welfare system.

    Importance of communication in biological families

    Many college students that attend college after high school often have troubles that they

    face within their first years of school. Parents and family are usually a support system that these

    college students have to rely upon in tough times (Williams & Hughes, 2005). Communication

    between parents and children after leaving the home is extremely important in the development

    of a childs life as they approach adulthood. In a study according to Williams and Hughes

    (2005), it was found that two main types of communication exist in families, socio-oriented

    communication and content-oriented communication. Socio-oriented communication is

    communication that is interpersonally related, encourages communication within the family, and

    helps to create a positive and stable family atmosphere. Concept-oriented communication is

    communication that is negative to the family atmosphere, creates family separations, and cause

    independence within the family to an unhealthy degree (Williams & Hughes, 2005).

    Children often go to their parents for assistance with a problem and either look for help or

    validation in how they are approaching the problem (Dandekar, 1990). Having validated

    communication can be helpful to children as it allows the child to distinguish between positive

    and negative events in their life (Williams & Hughes, 2005; Dandekar, 1990). Socio-oriented

    communication brings these aspects of positive family communication and validation that most

    children seek from their parents. Therefore, children who grow-up in a socio-oriented

    communication setting tend to communicate in that same manner later in adulthood (Williams &

    Hughes, 2005). A child that grows up in a conceot-oriented communication style will reflect that

    style of communication as they reach adulthood (Williams & Hughes, 2005). The significance of

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 8

    these two styles of communication on children in relation to their families and adult life show

    how children expect communication to be later in their life. Communication within the family

    also develops around gender and sex communication styles. This is due to the fact that masculine

    and feminine communication has different approaches in how topics are addressed. This holds

    true in communication with children and parents in the family setting.

    Communication between children and parents of the opposite sex play major roles in the

    development of communication in a childs life. If one style is absent it will have profound

    effects on how children develop their communication skills. Gender of both parents and children

    plays a major role in communication within the family. In a survey conducted on children and

    parents in relation to the behavior and punishments. Both male and female children are more

    comfortable to communicating with their mother if they feel that they have not done something

    wrong or are in trouble (Luk, Farhat, Innate, & Simmons-Morton, 2009). Furthermore, both male

    and female children are more comfortable communicating with their father about future

    aspirations and goals; although, this was much higher for daughters. Daughters tended to

    communicate more with their mothers for contemporary issues (Luk et al., 2009).

    Communication and gender have a major impact on what specific issues children want to

    communicate with their parents. What children communicate with parents based on their own

    gender as well as their parents gender.

    Puberty is the first stage in which children begin to adjust to the changes in a lifelong

    adjustment to their body; however, puberty is not just physical changes it is psychological and

    effect how individuals communicate with each other.As a child goes through puberty; however,

    communication with the parent of the opposite sex is important as well. Communication with the

    parent of the same sex as the child is of high value. A childs need for communication or

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 9

    perceived lack of need for communication (children going through puberty may push away from

    communication with parents; although, they still actually want it) can often be caused by

    puberty. In a study done on children going through puberty it was found that male children tend

    to distance themselves from their parents as opposed to female children becoming closer to their

    parents but appearing to distance themselves at the same time. (Steinberg, 1988). It was

    concluded in the survey that mothers were extremely important to a childs and adolecents

    development. However; communication according to the children seems to have importance after

    childhood with their father, but was not studied. (Steinberg, 1988). In relation to gender, puberty

    and communication are effected by life changes as well as gender norms in society and effect

    how children communicate with their parents and family.

    Parent-Child Communication and Health

    Children have a stronger desire to communicate with their parents when there are major

    health issues in the family (such as cancer). (Huzing, Visser, Van Der Graaf, Hockstra, &

    Hockstra-Weebers, 2005). This particular study focused on parents with cancer and how their

    children communicate with them. Female children have the strongest desire to communicate with

    their parents if a parent had cancer. However, parents would redirect the communication on to a

    new topic or cease communication with their children completely (Huzing et al., 2005).

    Adolescent children had a stronger desire to communicate with their parents, if the parent has

    cancer, compared to younger children. Therefore, suggesting that parents who have health issues

    withdrawal from communication with their children at one of the most critical times of

    communication development in their life. Adolescent children explained how this lack of

    communication affected their life in school, work, friends and in romantic relationships (Huzing

    et al., 2005).

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 10

    Importance of Communication for Foster Youth in Non-biological families

    The core focus of this paper is to explain the importance of communication differences

    between those children who have grown up in foster homes as opposed to those children that

    have grown up in biological families. After discussing above the importance of communication

    in biological families and the profound effect that it has on the development of children

    throughout their childhood, it can be said that foster youth exert the same need for this style of

    communication. However, with very little or no biological family to rely upon, foster youth are

    forced to learn their communication tactics from foster families (Harden, 2004). Foster parents

    have extreme pressure put on them to live up to this communicative role that is desired by the

    foster youth in their home. Sometimes the safety and stability of the children and parents

    involved in the child welfare system is put to the test and communication can help correct this

    issue (Harden, 2004).

    Safety and stability in the home derives from conflict management by the family in

    relation to parent-child communication (Brown, Fitzgerald, Shipman, & Schneider, 2007;

    Harden, 2004). In a study conducted to better understand conflict management between those

    families that have positive conflict managing skills versus those families that do not have

    efficient conflict managing skills, it was found that children learn their conflict management

    skills from those in the household with them, in particular the parents (Brown et al., 2007).

    Mothers were hypothesized to be more likely to initiate communication if conflict arises in the

    home, and this hypothesis was confirmed by the study. The study focused on how mothers and

    children manage conflict in their home and that nearly 40 percent of mothers initiated a

    conversation centered on conflict management where less than 30 percent of children would

    initiate a conversation about conflict management (Brown et al., 2007). Families in which

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 11

    parents initiated communication in relation to conflict, as opposed to children initiating the

    conversation produced better family functioning (Brown et al., 2007). This in turn, promotes

    more safety and stability in the family (Harden, 2004). Suggesting from evidence found in the

    study those families that have parental communication in relation to conflict in the home have

    positive parent-child communication skills.

    Types of Foster Living Arrangements

    Treatment Foster Care, or TFC, is considered the most extreme situation that children are

    placed in within the child welfare system. Also, TFC is the largest subdivision of the child

    welfare system in the world (Redding, Fried & Britner, 2000). Because this is a particularly new

    situation of concern within the child welfare system, much research has not been done on TFC in

    relation to why many children end up in this situation and what needs to be done in order to help

    the children lead a normal life style. What has been found is that those children placed in these

    situations with extreme wishes against their own will tend to develop many psychological

    problems that have a profound effect on their adulthood life after leaving the child welfare

    system (Redding, Fried & Britner, 2000). Although, TFC has benefited many children in

    returning to their parents or being adopted and, in extreme cases, staying in long-term foster care.

    Returning to their parent is the most important goal of the child welfare system. However,

    having the children leave TFC and be adopted or put in a traditional foster home for long-term is

    a step in the correct direction (Redding, Fried & Britner, 2000).

    In relation to TFC, the child welfare system needs to find better opportunities to address

    the issue of children in the child welfare system and how to better satisfy their communicative

    needs, whether these needs be fulfilled by a biological parent or family member (which is highly

    proffered), an adoptive parent, or a long-term foster home in which the child feels comfortable

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 12

    in. In 2001 it was found that nearly 47 percent of children in the child welfare system were of

    age 11, but under age 16 (Massinga & Pecora, 2004), suggesting that this (11 to 16 age group) is

    the highest growing age range in the child welfare system and, as according to Weinberg , L. ,

    Weinberg, C., & Shea, (1997), the largest for concern due to fact that those children in the

    child welfare system at this stage in their life are in the mist of their adolescent years. Thus,

    being one of the most crucial times in their childhood.

    The goals that the child welfare system has strived to create are programs that are

    designed to interconnect children from the child welfare system in their own situation as well as

    create programs designed to help youth after they have aged out of the system and began their

    adult life (Massinga & Pecora, 2004). However, the fact that older children need permanency,

    stability, and a forever family (Massinga & Pecora, 2004, p. 1 papa. 2) shows the importance

    of having a connection to someone or something (rather than a group or organization) after a

    youth leaves the child welfare system. Whether this be with the system itself, a former foster

    parent staying in close contact, or biological family re-intervening in the youths life after a set

    time.

    Depending of the style of foster home a child grows-up in they may have more complex

    issues with communication that can later affect their adult life (Orme & Butler, 2001). In a study

    (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004) three main types of foster care styles were used; traditional

    foster homes, kinship foster homes (adopted homes), and TFC homes (group homes). The largest

    numbers of foster youth live in traditional foster homes totaling of 60 percent of those living with

    non-biological parents. The second largest number was those foster youth living in TFC homes

    at 30 percent, thus leaving only ten percent of foster youth living with kin or becoming adopted.

    Of the 90 percent of foster youth living in TFC or traditional foster care, only 40 percent are

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 13

    reunited with their biological family (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004). Of the 60 percent living

    in traditional foster care, 30 percent are European-American and 33 percent are African-

    American. In TFC, 18 percent are African-American and 12 percent are European-American.

    Therefore, it can be concluded that those foster children of the African-American community

    represent a total of 51 percent of all children not living with biological parent or kinship/adopted

    style foster care. 42 percent of European-American foster children live in traditional and TFC

    (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004). This is important as the African-American population in the

    United States is much less than the European-American population in the United States.

    Due to the unnatural living situation in which foster children grow-up in, they tend to not

    have the advantage of a consistent parental figure helping them with conflict (Doelling and

    Johnson, 1990). This forces foster youth to manage conflict on their own which seriously hinders

    their communication skills (Brown et al., 2007). However, many foster parents misconceive what

    their duties as a foster parent are. This can be from lack of training (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley,

    2004) or lack of commitment on the role of being a foster parent (Doelling and Johnson, 1990).

    It is important to understand this because both foster mothers and foster fathers play an important

    role in a foster youths communicative development, emotional development, and temperamental

    behaviors (Chipungu & Bent-Goodley, 2004). It can be said that foster parents that do not

    understand the burden of being a parent to foster youth and working with foster youth to better

    manage conflict and communication are causing harm to both themselves and the foster youth

    they care for.

    Multiple placement foster youth and communication. As important as communication

    is to foster youth and their development, it can be said that this holds true to those foster youth

    that lived in multiple placement situations, if not more important. In a survey done by

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 14

    researchers, it was found that those former foster youth that lived in five or more traditional

    placement style homes were found to have the most economic, parental, and schooling problems

    later in their adult life. Whereas youth that aged out of the child welfare system that were in five

    or less placements seemed to have a much higher success rate in economic, parental, and

    schooling after leaving the child welfare system (Keller, Crusick & Courtney, 2007).

    Foster youth have an extreme desire and demand for parental style communication in

    their foster homes, even if they seem not to show this desire for parental

    communication(Gardner, 1996). Furthermore, certain countries prefer reunification as opposed to

    long-term foster care or adoption for foster children. This is due to the psychological damage that

    is a result that foster youth develop from being in the child welfare system for so long. Also

    when asked, foster youth in the child welfare system stated that they did not like being in the

    system and felt uncomfortable being away from their families. However, it was found in this

    survey that the number of foster youth in the child welfare system is increasing and bring arise to

    the issue of how to better handle the situation of keeping children with their biological families

    (Gardner, 1996).

    The first step often taken in the reunification process is having visitation with both the

    biological parents and children. These visitations often have different venues and degrees of

    security depending upon certain situations addressed by specific cases in the child welfare

    system (Haight, Kagle & Black, 2003). Also, children tend to feed upon the positive

    relationships with their parents or biological families for stress releases and life troubling

    situations (Haight, Kagle & Black, 2003). Therefore, it can be understood that children and

    parents rely upon communication from one another to survive in life in a non-stressful manner.

    This is not to say that in certain instances children and parents would benefit more from being

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 15

    separated, but rather to note that the majority of children and parents do benefit more from

    communication with biological family.

    According to Haight, Kagle and Black (2003),

    in all social and cultural groups, children and primary caregivers develop affective

    bonds and organized behaviors for relating in times of stress. These relationships emerge

    over time and in conjunction with childrens and caregivers experiences (p. 3 para 2).

    This quote does not however suggest in any way that a primary care giver must be a biological

    parent or family member. This is possible because the child will select those to whom they feel

    closest to as a primary care giver. If this is the case, when a child places a foster parent they are

    living with in the role as their primary caregiver, but the foster parent ceases to accept this role or

    is unaware of this role being place upon them, they will most likely not react to the situation and

    act as primary care giver. In turn, the child may feel rejected and therefore possibly experience

    solitude of oneself in a situation that may later affect the rest of their life. This is a serious issue

    and, as the growing number of foster youth in the child welfare system increases, this issue must

    become more important and addressed or prevented at earlier stages in a childs life.

    Effects Communication has on Foster Youth after Aging Out of the System

    It has often been said that a childs development in communication at a younger age sets

    the foundation of their communication as adults. After examining the importance of

    communication in biological families and the need for communication in foster families it was

    found that communication is of extreme importance in a childs development to becoming a

    successful adult (Weinberg, L., Weinberg, C., & Shea, 1997). As noted above in this

    paper, most children from biological families have the parents and kin to use for assistance in life

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 16

    when becoming a young adult. However, most foster children that age out of the system do not

    have this support system.

    In a study conducted in the Wisconsin area on youth that aged out of the system after 18

    months and adults that aged out of the system after five years, the effects of not having a

    parental or family safety net were extremely prevalent (Courtney, Piliavin, Grogan-Kaylor,

    Nesmith, 2001). Of those former foster youth that aged out of the system after 18 months

    nearly all reported some amount of need for communicative help. Most of the children after 18

    months desired some sort of group or individual to fill the role of a traditional parent to

    communicate with (Courtney et al., 2001). Those children that had been aged out of the system

    for roughly five years experienced the same kind of troubles as those from the 18 month study.

    However, some also suffered from psychological disorders and attachment disorders that were

    much higher than when they were in the child welfare system (Courtney et al., 2001).

    The study also looked at the difference in how race and gender played a role in the

    development of adult life after leaving the child welfare system. African-Americans and

    European-Americans were compared as well as males and females (Courtney et al., 2001). Most

    of the children that were in a poverty state after leaving the child welfare system were African-

    Americans and females. This was due to the still possible racial problems in American society

    and that most women would have children to fulfill their attachment loss after leaving the child

    welfare system (Courtney et al., 2001; Orme & Butler, 2001).

    The number of foster home placements and length of time were also examined to better

    understand how to help foster children transition to adulthood and aging out of the systems

    (Keller, Crusick & Courtney, 2007). In a study conducted on former foster youth, it was found

    that the majority of foster youth having trouble adjusting to life after aging out of the system

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 17

    lived in five or more foster home placements. This is significant because it suggests that children

    that move from foster home placement to foster home placement have little time to adapt and

    understand the family structure of a home (Williams & Hughes, 2005). Therefore, hindering the

    childs ability to learn effective communication skills form their foster parents (Brown et al.,

    2007).

    Attachment styles in former foster youth take on a unique perspective. That is to say

    because of former foster youth having a lack of continuous parental support throughout the

    younger years of their life, they will tend to seek to fulfill these needs later in their adulthood

    (Iwaniee & Sneddon, 2001). In a follow-up study conducted 20 years after foster youth left the

    child welfare system, individuals were asked to complete a survey similar to the one before

    leaving the child welfare system. The survey examined whether the former foster youth had

    developed any physical or mental illnesses that were associated with living in the child welfare

    system that they had not developed before leaving the child welfare system (Iwaniee & Sneddon,

    2001).

    Developing and Sustaining a new style of the Child Welfare System

    One thing that the child welfare system does not do is help a former foster youth

    reconnect with biological family after leaving the child welfare system. In essence, making an

    attempt to ask the former foster youth if they wish to have any reconnected ties with their

    biological family after leaving the child welfare system is appropriate. This is important because

    legally the youth is no longer under the custody of the state in most cases, but now have custody

    of themselves as an adult. However, if the child welfare system believes that the youth has no

    desire to reconnect with their biological family, or believe it is in the best interest of the youth to

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 18

    remain away from the biological family, it would be understandable to not make an attempt to

    reconnect youth with their biological family.

    If it is not possible for the former foster youth and their biological family to have contact

    after the foster youth leaves the child welfare system, something or someone must replace this

    role. It is possible after having a strong connection with their former foster family that the former

    foster youth may want to use this as a family mechanism after aging out of the child welfare

    system. Foster parents must realize this when they decide to take upon the burden of allowing a

    foster youth into their home (when taking a child they must plan to possibly have that child in

    their home until they reach 18) (Sanchirico & Jablonka, 2000). As a foster parent, there is the

    possibility that a foster youth may become more attached to the foster family over time rather

    than their own biological family.

    Adopted parents also fall into the situation that suggest them to remain close to their

    child. When trained adopted parents are explained to that once they take on the burden of

    becoming a foster parent their role as foster parents are to be committed to their new child

    forever as if the child were their own biological child (Stams, Juffer & Van Ijzendoorn, 2002).

    However, many adopted parents latter realize that maybe the child is not a correct fit for their

    home, but this does not mean they should give up on the child. Biological children cannot be

    traded in because they do not fit in the home and neither should foster youth.

    Discussion

    The importance of communication for all children, as well as foster youth, when growing

    up in the home has been made significant in this paper. To prove this, many theories can be

    applied for explanation. However, three in particular have the most significance for the direction

    of this work; attraction theory, affection exchange theory, and relational framing theory.

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 19

    Attachment theory is the most noticeable and many of the researchers have pointed out in their

    studies the significance of this theory towards their own work.

    Attraction theory is a communication theory that suggests individuals communicate

    because they have or desire a sense of attraction to other individuals (Guerrero, 2008). Even

    though this theory is usually directed to relationships or significant others, it can also apply to

    attraction for other purposes. One of those purposes is parent-child attraction and, in relation to

    foster parents and foster youth; this theory could suggest that foster youth seek communication

    with parents whether they are biological, adopted, or foster to fulfill a need of attraction. If youth

    do not fulfill this need, they may possibly suffer from communication problems and, in turn,

    could develop psychological or communicative deficiencies as adults.

    Attachment theory is described as a theory that suggest all humans have needs that must

    be fulfilled and that all humans seek someone or a group to communicate with to fulfill these

    needs. Children need more fulfillment in this area as they are learning how to develop their mind

    and body to be prepared for a successful life. Therefore, children tend to desire more attachment

    than adults do. However, if children do not fulfill this need when they are younger they are more

    likely to continue to seek fulfillment later in life as adults.

    In essence, attachment theory exists in relation to communication and parent-child

    relations due to affection theory. For instance, if a potential foster parent has affection towards

    helping youth without a family and want to be a family for them that foster parent would need to

    create an exchange with the youth in relation to the setting. The foster parent will then, when

    around the foster youth for an extended time, become attached to them in a parental manner.

    Thus, creating the role as their parent, the same applies with biological parents and adoptive

    parents. Foster youth suffer from this in many ways. If parents do not do this, then foster youth

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    tend to feel as if they are not wanted and will seek to find their affection elsewhere. Foster parent

    also must understand that having a child in their home that needs an increased amount of

    affection, they will have to produce affection at a much higher rate. Examples of this could be

    telling the child how well they have done on something versus negative feedback. This may

    come in the form of doing a chore and saying this looks really clean. The child will remember

    this and try to recreate it in the future.

    When an individual feels that they are not attached enough in the world, they feel if they

    are separate from the world, almost like being in a bubble. However, an individual can have too

    much attachment towards another person. Each individual has different needs and attachment

    wants, some more than others. Parents must pay attention to this and look to understand the

    amount of attachment their child may need.

    As a former foster youth, I suffer from this all the time. Since, as a child my family was

    not there for me, I tend to want others to be there for me now. Examples of this can be friends

    and romantic partners. In fact, this caused problems in my past relationship as I desired more

    attachment and closeness then my partner did. However, they felt guilty leaving me due to their

    understanding of my needs, but felt it was best for the both of us.

    Affection exchange theory, suggests that individuals communicate in order to fulfill a

    need of affection to an individual. This is similar to attachment theory but not necessarily as

    strong (Floyd, Judd & Hesse, 2001). Affection is seen in an array of different ways. Verbally it is

    in the form of saying I love you to a partner. Non-verbally, it is holding hands or kissing a

    partner. Indirectly it is doing something for a partner that you would not normally do; for

    instance washing dishes even though you hate to wash them.

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    As a former foster youth, this was probably the most significant part of my life I felt

    missing. Ironically, I and my former foster mother are very close now, which came to me at first

    in an odd light. However, I tried to look at the situation from her perspective and found that it

    may be possible that most foster parents try not to get attached to their foster youth because if the

    child leaves due to replacement with parents or adoption they feel as if they lost one of their own

    children. However, in my situation after aging out of the system, I continue to go back to my

    former foster home on my own accord. I believe that my foster mother noticed this as me

    wanting to remain a part of her life; therefore she felt more at ease to have attachment to me and

    more affection towards me. Sometime she seems to be more of a mother to me then to her own

    biological children (at least from my vantage point). Also, having my foster mother lose her

    husband to cancer and her own biological children being older and living own their own, she has

    the opportunity to be closer to me. While living in her home I was the youngest child. So, it

    seems as if I have taken the baby role in my family.

    A third theory that can help explain foster youth and communication is known as the

    relational framing theory. This theory states that individuals interpret messages as dominant-

    submissive or afflictive-disafflictive (Soloman, & McLaren, 2008). Therefore, foster youth will

    happen to communicate for dominate or submissive relational reasons, but also afflictive or

    disafflictive reason. Essentially children communicate to create relational meaning with their

    surroundings and if parent or foster parent does not effectively communicate with children in

    their home the child may develop communication problems.

    The most interesting item that I found in this paper and from the research was learning

    the pressure put on the child welfare system, as the need for more developed plans and foster

    homes become an increasing frequency due to the increase of youth in the child welfare system.

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    However, I believe that this field has not gotten as much attention as it deserves, but it has begun

    to become more significant within the last decade due to the increase of youth in the child

    welfare system.

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    FORMER FOSTER YOUTH AND COMMUNICATION 23

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