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FOOTBALL

UNITED

FANZINE

FEATURING

THE FLOWERS OF

MANCHESTER

THIS IS A MAN’S

WORLD

THE BABY FACED

MANAGER

REGULAR

FEATURES

AND MUCH, MUCH MORE

Jan 2012

ISSUE

HATING THE

HATERS Is it ever right to

criticise our

players as strongly

as some do?

UNITED’S FIRST EXCLUSIVELY ONLINE FANZINE

11

2 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

REGULAR FEATURES

04 EDITORIALS 08 ON OUR RADAR 09 EDITOR‘S VIEW 16 THE SHAW SHOW 18 MICKY OWEN: PI 20 A MONTH IN FOOTBALL 24 BORN AND RED 32 THE FINAL WORD

06 REVIEW: FLOWERS OF MANCHESTER Looking at a new United documentary based on the Munich air disaster. 10 HATING THE HATERS Is it ever right to criticise your own players quite as strongly as some do?

In this month’s issue of

Football United Fanzine

SPECIAL FEATURES

JANUARY 2012

28 The is a man’s world...or is it?

10 Hating the

Haters

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28 THIS IS A MAN‘S WORLD...OR IS IT? Is there still sexism in being a football fan? Is football still a man’s world to live in? 22 THE BABY FACED MANAGER Ole Gunnar Solskjaer sparkling in his management at Molde.

22

The baby faced manager

8 JAN: City vs United FA Cup 1.00pm 14 JAN: United vs Bolton Premier League 3.00pm 22 JAN: Arsenal vs United Premier League 4.00pm 31 JAN: United vs Stoke Premier League 8.00pm 5 FEB: Chelsea vs United Premier League 4.00pm

COMING UP THIS MONTH...

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Football United Fanzine

W: www.football-united-blogs.com E: editor.fub@live.co.uk EDITORIAL Managing Editor: Steph Doehler Deputy Editor: Rachel Turney Contributors: Al Monger, Vinnie Shaw, Brett Burgers, Harry Sherlock, Jack Harvey. A SPECIAL THANKS TO Chris Nightingale, Will Lumb. DESIGN Designer: Steph Doehler IMAGES Micky Owen PI: Michael Kyeyune FOR ENQUIRES Email: editor.fub@live.co.uk Facebook: FootballUnited Blogs Twitter: @footballUB

All material unless otherwise stated, is copyright to the Football United Fanzine. The views expressed are not necessarily those of the editors. The Football United Fanzine is completely independent of Manchester United Football Club. The Football United Fanzine accepts no responsibility for services offered by advertisers.

Warming

the Bench

Happy new year every-one, hope you all had a great Christmas. United

certainly did (this was preemptively written be-fore the Blackburn & Newcastle matches!). As I write this we are level on points at the top of the table with City and have drastically reduced the goal difference gap with back to back 5-0 victories. What an exciting year we have ahead, with the Euro‘s and the Olympics, as well as potentially one of the best title fights ever. Not to mention a new experience for us in the Europa League and our clash with City in the FA Cup. Going back to the present, I have to say that one of my favourite Christmas presents is Scholes‘ autobi-ography. If you haven‘t got it yet, you should. I‘ve read Giggs‘, Keane‘s and Neville‘s which are bril-liant but there is something extra special about the little ginger maestros. Maybe it‘s because I‘m read-ing it so close to his retirement and it almost feels like I can put him back in the team. But more than that it‘s just how humble he continues to come across. I am only half way through but he doesn‘t say a bad word about anybody and just seems genuinely grateful for everything he experienced. He is a simple man who loves his football and his family. Well worth a read. A new year means one thing in football, mass transfer speculation and the occasional deal. Being United we will be linked with a million players as always but despite our never ending injury list I still don‘t think Fergie will be buying. This will disappoint many fans but it‘s rare we buy in Janu-ary and Fergie has unwavering faith in the squad, when fit, as a whole. The fact we have closed the gap on City will make transfers even less likely. Besides, January transfers are not always what they are cracked up to be, Torres and Carroll to name two very amusing examples. Although Fergie may surprise us, because you just never know who might become available. More than anything though, I would just like to have all our current players fit again. Here is to a wonderful year ahead.

Rachel - Deputy Editor Follow Rachel on Twitter @Rachel_jj2011

Editorials

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I sometimes wonder just what planet football fans are on. No matter the situation I

don't think I have ever experienced a rational think-ing football fan, myself included. But last month we

saw something laughable, unwavering and, quite frankly, head scratching in the shape of Liverpool‘s

response to Luis Suarez‘s ban. Not only were the sup-porters infuriated, despite the fact the Uruguayan had admitted using racially abusive language, but the club

got in on the act too.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw both the players and manager wearing Suarez 7 tshirts in their warm

ups against Wigan. It felt like we‘d returned to the years of the ―Free Diedre Rachid‖ campaign. It was an

embarrassment to football. And whilst I completely endorse standing up for your team and its players,

Liverpool fans seem to have conveniently forgotten that Suarez, as I‘ve already said, admitted to abusing

Patrice Evra. Dont even get me started on King Kenny...can you imagine Ferguson wearing a Rio t-shirt when the defender was banned for his missed

drugs test. We‘d have all cringed.

As is so often the case, sport can bring out both the best and worse in people. Sadly for the Scousers the

worse has once again been brought out recently, much to the humour of the rest of the footballing

world.

Steph - Managing Editor Follow Steph on Twitter @StephDoehler

Editorials

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23 people died,

8 Busby Babes,

The Flowers of Manchester

remembered once more.

A new, short online documentary revisits the

Munich air disaster.

We all know about the Munich air crash. It‘s a tragedy engrained in every Manchester United fan‘s brain. Recently a new documentary was released onto You Tube, showing once again, just why Munich

has played such an integral role in United‘s history.

REVIEW

There have been so many tributes to the Busby Babes it‘s sometimes hard to dif-ferentiate between them all. However in November 2011 a new video was put online which brought a new angle to the tragedy. Produced and directed by Chris Nightingale, a student at the University of Central Lancaster, The Flowers of Manchester, has generated excellent feedback on United forums, social net-working sites and You Tube. Nightingale admitted him-self his biggest challenge was to establish something new, that differed from what we had all seen before. ―As Alan Keegan, the Sta-dium Announcer at Old

Trafford, is also my lec-turer in Football and Soci-ety, he was the first person I spoke to about my idea...As there have been many documentaries and dramas on the Munich Air Disaster, the main chal-lenge was to try and find a new angle and approach which would make my film different and unique amongst the other Munich tributes. After many discus-sions with Alan, I decided to focus on the impact the disaster had on the fans of Manchester United past and present.” The video starts with a fit-ting tribute to the Babes, accompanied by the Man-chester United Calypso

before spanning to the clock which is situated by the Munich tunnel at Old Traf-ford. Speaking to Ernie Wood-cock, Chairman of Fleet-wood Supporter‘s Club, evokes emotion rarely shown in these kind of

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documentaries - that of the average Manchester United supporters. Woodcock‘s recollection of United‘s first match after the tragedy against Sheffield Wednes-day is truly awe inspiring, describing it as “the greatest emotional game,” he had ever seen. Moving forward 50 years, Nightingale highlights the half century anniversary of the air crash and the min-ute‘s silence prior to the Manchester derby. Clips of the crowd itself is as moving as anything else you can watch on the crash. Pete Martin, of Salford band, Hanky Panky, was also interviewed. Martin, who wrote a fitting tribute song around the 50th anni-versary, expressed what perhaps has long been for-gotten about the crash; “The idea was that this was a human tragedy, not just a sad loss for football.” As Nightingale said, this 11 minute documentary wasn't produced to retell any sto-ries, but to offer a new perspective—one that shows the influence of Munich and the Busby Babes in today‘s money driven football. As Martin puts it “I put in the song “you are the strength and inspiration for those who play your roles today” and I believe that. Matt Busby always wanted to play very attractive foot-ball. His philosophy was ’if they score three, we’ll have to score four,’ and that’s the

United way really, it’s con-tinuing now.” Interestingly this wasn‘t Nightingale‘s first attempt at documentary making. In fact, his first one centered on another footballing trag-edy, one that evokes slightly less emotion from some United fans - the Hillsborough disaster. “In May 2010, I had seen pic-tures of banners a very small minority of Manches-ter United supporters had held up, disrespecting the 96 Liverpool fans who were killed in the Hillsborough disaster. I decided there and then to make a small documentary about Hills-borough in the summer to show these individuals the horror of that day and how they should be very respect-ful, not disrespectful. So in June 2010, I filmed Hills-borough, by going to the ground in Sheffield with my friend, Tim Jolly, and tak-ing the audience through

as they unfolded on that day. The response was very positive from a wide vari-ety of football supporters and It was at that moment, that I decided to make a film about the disaster which affected my club so deeply.” Next month it will be 54 years since Munich. Night-ingale deserves plaudits for what he has accomplished within the documentary. A new angle to highlight the ever present emotion Mu-nich generates is always welcomed by Manchester United fans and perhaps, on this occasion, will educate rivals fans, just as Nightin-gale attempted to do with his work on Hillsborough. To watch The Flowers of Manchester click here. To watch Hillsborough click here.

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On our Radar

this month...

Manchester City: Say what you want about the FA Cup and our dirty neighbours but following the derby humiliation, every single one of us is looking for retribution in this tie.

Robin Van Persie: Love him or hate him, it‘s hard to suggest RvP isn‘t in the form of his life. A tough trip to a resurgent Arsenal will make life tough for United.

Fernando Torres: Ok, maybe not...

Daniel Sturridge: The Chelsea forward will not doubt start when United visit Stamford Bridge next month and as the home side‘s top scorer this season the United defence will need to be on top form.

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As soon as news filtered through that Wayne Rooney‘s absence from the squad to face Blackburn on New Year‘s Eve was due to disciplinary reasons rather than injury, you just new the newspapers would have a field day with this story. Depending on who and what you believe the rela-tionship between Rooney and Sir Alex is once again at boiling point, just as it allegedly had been in 2010. Journalists went into frenzy, no-one more so than Nick Harris who, in

AGREE OR DISAGREE? We want to know what you think about anything you read in the magazine. You can email: editor.fub@live.co.uk or tweet us @footballUB

Expect transfer window frenzy this January

C‘mon, we all secretly love the trans-fer window don't we? No? Just me then! Not for the disappointment that inevitably ensues but purely for the humour of it all. We all know that United are highly unlikely to sign anyone (of any great stature anyway), yet watching fans get giddy over Sneijder being spotted in Eng-land on transfer deadline day does warm the heart. No doubt Spurs will be linked to every man and his dog (notably Giuseppe Rossi), Harry Redknapp will be interviewed saying he will consider any deal, for any player and Liverpool will still spend the window wonder how they man-aged to get £50m for Torres, only to be shafted by the Geordies in the same day. Enjoy it everyone, Janu-ary will be a long month!

Mail on Sunday, spent a third of his article discuss-ing the ramification of the MUTV/charade situation, only to concede at the end that he hadn't even gone to the effort of viewing the clip. Lazy journalism to say the least. Fans were split in their views as to whether or not the punishment to Rooney, Evans and Gibson was harsh but most sup-porters united in the pointlessness of the story as once again the media built a storm from noth-ing. Hardly a surprise there.

EDITOR’S

VIEW

Questions again raised over Rooney’s future

Following a post-Christmas evening out with teammates, the tabloids go giddy again hoping for another Rooney/Ferguson bust up.

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What exactly is it with United fans who have got a perpetual downer on certain United players? Did I say downer? Jeez, in some cases it's almost like a death wish. On Twitter, mere confirma-tion of the selection in the United first team, or even on the bench, of the likes of Jonny Evans, Michael Car-rick, Darron Gibson, Kiko Macheda and Mame Biram DIouf, to name but five, brings forth immediate gasps, sighs, expressions of disbelief, condemnation and outright abuse. Bloody hell,

the vitriol and hatred to-ward Gibson was such that when he attempted to join Twitter, within two hours he had been 'persuaded' that maybe it wasn't for him after all! And this persua-sion by his own 'fans'! So unfair, in so many ways, and on so many levels.

Who are the perpetrators of this abuse? As a generalisa-tion it would be easy to point the finger at the younger of our fans, those who have possibly only ever witnessed a successful

United side since becoming supporters. Those fans to whom any occasional blip is perceived as being akin to the end of the world and certainly something for which somebody, anybody (erm, that'll be the likes of Evans, Carrick, Gibson, Macheda, Diouf etc) HAS to be culpable. Strangely (actually not strangely at all, blinkered more like) the person picked out for abuse is rarely, if ever, one of the acknowledged 'stars' of the

HATING THE

HATERS

By Al Monger @almanuman

Is it ever right to abuse our own? Al doesn't think so...

12 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

United team. Yes Rooney and Nani, for example, are occasionally criticised for coming up short in terms of their performance, but rarely will they be totally blamed for a defeat. Rarely? Actually let's make that never, will they be told that they're not good enough to be in the team.

As an example, our recent defeat in Basel, resulting in our elimination from the Champions League, saw a somewhat embarrassing miss by Rooney with an equaliser looking a cer-tainty. Yes he was given a bit of stick at the time for the miss, but I don't think I've seen too many head-lines, or tweets, citing that particular miss as being key to our being consigned to the Europa League. But you know damn well that had it been Carrick, or even Ma-cheda, that miss would still be being talked about. They would be being hounded for it. A case of them being con-sidered as easy targets I would suggest. Ok, I maybe generalised in suggesting that our younger fans are possibly the ones exhibiting limited patience with certain of our players, but whether this generalisa-tion is of the sweeping type is I guess up to the reader to decide. Put it this way, can you remember when United weren't actually very good? And no, I don't just mean 'not very good' as in the recent derby against City,

when actually we were quite good until they opened the scoring, I mean can you remember back to the dark days when we WEREN'T winning league titles, when we rarely even challenged for titles to be honest, when we rarely even won Cups despite being generally la-belled as being a cup team. Mmm, a cup team that rarely won cups.... put like that they were indeed dark-ish days when I think back. For yes, post Busby and pretty much most of the intervening years pre-Fergie, United under-achieved magnificently. Underachieved is one way of putting it. We were quite often crap is another. Obviously those barren years were so different from today. And referring back to the afore-mentioned Twit-ter, I'd hate to see how the likes of say Ralph Milne, Ashley Grimes, Mal Dona-ghy from the past would be treated if social networking had been around then. Without doubt, from per-sonal recollection, they would be prime targets to be scrutinised, dissected and potentially destroyed in the same way as some of our players today.

Take Ralph Milne. One of Fergie's admitted worst signings, my memories of Ralph were very largely of severe ineptitude. Standing as I did half way up the Stretford End, right behind the goal, the sight of Ralph

running towards goal, ball sort of at feet, you just knew, everyone knew, that it was all probably going to go horribly wrong. And on most occasions it did. But back then United fans weren't spoilt. We craved success, we didn't expect it. And thus we didn't abuse our players. Indeed, I can honestly say that I have never booed or abused any player donning the red, the white, the black, the blue, the green/gold or indeed any shirt of Manchester United. Not even that hor-rendous grey shirt. Al-though thinking about it, perhaps a disrespectful bar-rage of abuse was actually in order for that one...dreadful shirt, hated it! I‘ve never booed, and I never will. You know why? Because I am a supporter of United. There's a clue in the word and it's why I'd rather term myself a supporter instead of a fan. Yes I'm fanatical about them, but in a good way, not in the way of a demented fanatic, a way which apparently, judging by popular social network perception, allows you to demand nothing less than perfection on the football field; a way which appar-ently suggests it's ok to sub-ject certain players to un-ceasing vitriol before they've even kicked a ball; a way which, frankly, just sucks and which does no one any credit.

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This is a man’s

world...Or is it? By Rachel (@Rachel_JJ2011)

think all female fans help the cause. I use the term fans loosely here as I refer to those females who don‘t know a great deal about football but have decided to jump on the bandwagon for whatever reason. Believe me, these people annoy me as much as they annoy any male fan, if not more. If you don‘t know anything about football that is fine, just don‘t pretend you do. It‘s the exact reason I don‘t write about chemical equa-tions. There is nothing worse than someone claim-ing to be their team‘s big-gest fan then not knowing who their team‘s last game was against, although that is not gender specific.

Being a football fan is not always easy and being fe-male can make it even harder. Often the assump-tion is instantly made that you couldn‘t possibly know as much about football as males and it is almost as though you have to go through a variety of tests to prove your worthiness. You

will be grilled on your team until you fail to know one small fact about the team from 1943 and then order will be restored in the world when you are proven to be no more than a typical fe-male fan.

To be fair, this isn‘t always the case and at times I don‘t

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Personally I plan my life around football, especially United games. I find ways to get out of social events so I don‘t miss games and when I can‘t manage this I am constantly on my phone checking the latest scores. I‘m grumpy all day if we lose and I‘m bouncing off the walls if we win. I love nothing more than a good debate about football with any fans as long as they are genuine. They don‘t have to agree with me, in fact it makes it more interesting if they don‘t.

Being a female fan is one thing, but being a United fan not from Manchester certainly adds another diffi-cult dimension to this. My Grandfather was born in Manchester and for this reason supported United all of his life, my father fol-lowed in his footsteps. My sister and I were therefore born United fans. My chil-dren will be United fans as well, or they will be sold! Supporting another team never crossed my mind, be it local or otherwise. I didn‘t choose United, I was born United. Don‘t get me wrong, I have no doubt that being from Manchester gives you an extra special affinity to the club but I don‘t think you can penalise other fans based on where they live or were born. Being born there doesn‘t instantly make you a true fan either, it‘s every-thing that goes with being a fan. There is no guide to being the perfect fan but I

know that I watch every single United game that I can on TV and I go to Old Trafford as often as I can afford. If I could go to every game, home and away, I would.

I have been told in the past that I am the perfect com-panion to many males be-cause I would rather spend all weekend watching foot-ball than go anywhere near a shopping centre. I often wonder if that‘s really true though. Maybe a male per-spective would be more accurate but I think in some ways some males prefer football being their own thing. Not because they

really have a problem with females liking football but just because males like to be with just males sometimes in the same way women like girl only time, for want of a better expression. I also think some people find the idea of women chanting, shouting abuse, drinking beer and wearing football shirts somewhat unnerving, and by ―some people,‖ I refer to both males and females. It just seems unnatural to many. For me though, I can‘t think of anything more natural than watching football with a beer while shouting at the referee or players. Maybe it

The No Women At Football campagin was hardly the most successful with only 34 people officially supporting it.

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isn‘t seen as particularly feminine but I can worry about that when I‘m out with my girlfriends on a Saturday night (after all the football has finished of course).

The last thing I want this article to sound like is a rant about male football fans‘ attitudes towards female fans because it isn‘t. In all honesty I have hardly re-ceived any sexism in my time as a football fan, I get much more abuse for sup-porting United. I feel com-fortable talking to a group of males about football and feel that once they know I know what I‘m talking about they respect me. I don‘t feel out of place in the pub or at Old Trafford watching a game. Although I wonder if that‘s because I have confidence in my own knowledge and passion

more than anything else. Maybe I have been lucky in comparison to other female fans or maybe comments are just not said to my face, although I wouldn‘t really care if they were.

I think the situation has got a lot better. In 2003 The Independent reported that

women made up a fifth of all fans attending Premier League games. Similar re-sults were found in 2010 and this was attributed to increased safety of stadi-ums. I can only see the fig-ure rising. 2011 also saw a Fenerbahce match watched by 41,000 fans, all of whom were women and chil-dren. Granted this was a one off experience and the match was free to attend, but it was good to see the stadium still full and the fans having such a good time. It was a little disheartening to type female football fans into Google and only really be hit with pages regarding ―sexy‖ and ―naked‖ female fans. However I was pleas-antly surprised at how little I could find about the NWAF (No Women At Foot-ball) campaign. Looking at the group on www.causes.com they had a mere 34 people who had joined. A Facebook page with the same name has 659 likes. The content is very predictable and highly uni-maginative, laughable even. It gives me hope that those who have a problem with female fans are a minority. I have both male and female friends equally as passion-ate about United and foot-ball in general. I think the majority of fans don‘t really care who else is supporting their team, as long as its people who really do care in the same way they do.

Women and children only crowd at Fenerbahce for their Turkish league clash with Manisaspor

I think some people find the idea of

women chanting, shouting abuse,

drinking beer and wearing football shirts somewhat

unnerving.

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THE SHAW

SHOW

―If you are going to tell a lie, tell a big one and if you re-peat it often enough then everybody will believe you.‖ Joseph Goebbels said that in his role as the Nazi‘s Min-ister for Information and Propaganda, to explain how the Nazis managed to per-suade and indoctrinate a whole nation into believing their whole vile racist ideol-ogy. The same thing can be said for some of the stuff uttered about football. Ex-cept without the wholesale slaughter of millions of in-nocent people. Obviously.

You see, the thing that gets

me when speaking to people about football is some of the nonsense that has been taken as gospel over the years. Some of the beauties that immediately spring to mind are everybody from Manchester supports City, every decision at Old Traf-ford goes in favour of United, all Scousers are lovable rogues with a wicked sense of humour and, one of my particular favourites, Berbatov is a lazy waste of money who isn‘t fit to tie the ball boy‘s shoe laces. As I type this The Berb has netted a hat-trick against Wigan which in-cluded a quite wonderfully arrogant penalty and still

that wasn‘t good enough for some of the people who sit around me in Stretford End Upper Tier. However the one big mis-truth that has been peddled of late and has been taken as gospel by many is that Evra is constantly making allegations of racism. We all know this to be nonsense of course as the two allega-tions that have been linked to him were not actually made by Evra they were, in fact, made by Mike Phelan in that barmy incident with the Chelsea groundsman and the other by a deaf

My first reaction to the statement made

by Liverpool was one of anger. I was

furious that they could peddle such

lies.”

17 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

football fan who claimed they lip read another Liver-pool player racially abusing Evra. Not that this stopped Liverpool using this in their defence of Luis Suarez in the recent racial abuse case that has been before the FA and in their bizarre state-ment they made following the announcement of the nine game ban that Suarez must sit out pending an appeal.

My first reaction to the statement made by Liver-pool was one of anger. I was furious that they could peddle such lies . It is well known that Evra has never made such allegations in the past so why did they choose to repeat them? My second reaction was one of sadness. Sadness because if we put tribal rivalries to one side, and the Manchester United-Liverpool rivalry is one of football‘s and indeed sport‘s as a whole great rivalries, then we can all agree that Liverpool as a football club are one of the great institu-tions with a rich history and a loyal fanbase. So it was with sadness that we saw Liverpool react in that way. A manner that played up to the parody of Liverpool as a self-pity city that enjoys playing the victim. One did not expect them to roll over and accept the ban without putting up a fight but one certainly expected a more dignified response. Liver-pool could still have launched an appeal particu-larly as Suarez was never

actually ac-cused of be-ing a racist more of ut-tering racist abuse. They could have appealed the length of the ban by stat-ing some-thing along the lines of the ban being unprece-dented or by showing the good nature of Suarez (don‘t laugh, please) but to aim both barrels at Evra and to turn Suarez into the victim in all of this was both para-noid and pathetic.

Suarez was not the victim here, Evra was. In fact the thing Suarez was charged with (using racist language) he actually admitted to do-ing. One of the defences Liverpool used was to claim a cultural misunderstanding and that the word Suarez used is actually perfectly acceptable in his native Uruguay. All very plausible it would seem until one no-tices the tiny flaws in the plan. One being Suarez is not in Uruguay now and has in fact lived in Europe for the past few years so would surely know that what may be acceptable in his native country may not be accept-able over here. Plus, and I do not wish to come all over like a Daily Mail reader here, but when you live in our country one should really abide by our customs and laws. I would not expect

authorities in Saudi Arabia to be understanding if they caught me swigging from a six pack and singing the Twelve Cantonas song just because I can do this out-side my local on a Saturday night (I don‘t by the way but I think you get my drift).

Liverpool‘s reaction to this has intensified the bad feel-ing between the two clubs and a lot of the fans of both clubs do not need much of an excuse to engage in a spot of fisticuffs when the two sides meet. They could and should have handled it so much better. However had they not responded in the manner they did then I would have had to find something else to write about so they have done me a favour I suppose.

And don‘t even get me stared on those Suarez t-shirts.

By Vinnie Shaw @TheShaw2009

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It was a typical week with my birthday coming up. I‘d disconnected the landline, cancelled my mobile contract, deleted my email accounts and attached an automated tweet generator to my Twitter profile. Strange things those…I popped in all my interests, likes and dislikes and then the idea is that it generates tweets for you. Well the one I subscribed to must have been broken because all it seems to tweet is Twitpics of a wall covered in wet paint????! As a final resort I‘d hidden my-self and my family in a cave thousands of miles away from civilisation. Sir Alex Fer-guson had another thing coming if he thought I was going to be doing any detec-tive work on or around MY birthday. I mean what with it being MY birthday and all. Two weeks passed and the drinking of each other‘s urine aside and the gingivitis contracted from said drinking of urine and the onset of periodontitis notwithstanding, I was having a ‗not as crap as it could have been had Brett been bothered to add any-thing else in here‘ birthday. Eric who‘d taken us out to the wilderness under the cover of darkness had got me a sicknote for a present which I thought was quite possibly one of the weakest visual jokes I‘ve had the misfortune of witnessing.

He could have got me something more subtle like a…erm…like a…like a…erm…Oh whatever it‘s still really lame. ―It‘s not just Hargo who can read your inner monologue, Micky,‖ bellowed Eric before turning around lifting the collar on his shirt, ―Au revoir!‖ And with that he disappeared. Without Eric here we had no idea where we were or how to get home. ―I know where we are,‖ said the wife, ―…up shit creek!‖ What?! What‘s with all the really poor level of jokes this month, come on it‘s clichéd tosh. Eric reappeared from behind the cloud and whispered in my wife‘s ear. ―Oh he said that did he,‖ replied the wife… I was making my way down the touchline it was the last minute of the Champions League, no wait Europa League final and my team mates were calling for a cross, ―Micky!!!‖, Micky!!!!‖ Micky…Micky Micky…‖ I was shaken awake by SAF. As I came around it was apparent I was in a hospital ward. ―Micky!‖ said SAF. ―Wait, I can explain‖. I clenched my entire body, surely he‘d be kicking a boot at my eyebrow or something any second. ―You don‘t need to explain anything Micky‖ he replied. ―What are going to do to me‖, I

MICKY OWEN:

PI By Brett Burgers

@HoldAndGive

FICTION

At Manchester United, without regular football as a distraction, Micky Owen was offered the opportunity to sharpen his detective skills. Along

with his spirit guide Eric he provided the club and SAF with something… Answers on a postcard if you’ve managed to work out what exactly that

is yet.

19 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

whimpered. ―I‘ll tell you what I‘m going to do Micky…‖ ―Yes…‖ ―I‘ll tell you right now…‖ ―Go on…‖ ―I‘m going to congratulate you!‖ ―Okay make it quick…wait…what??? Con-gratulate me??!! At that moment Berba burst into the room. ―There you are Micky!‖ exclaimed Berba. ―So glad you are okay after the little acci-dent during our case. (―Uh?‖) ―I‘ve wrapped everything up.‖ SAF cut back in, ―Yeah you two are going to be quite some team, I can‘t believe you got to the bottom of that one. I thought I‘d set you the most difficult case imaginable. The way you handled it what with all the stuff it involved, Jeez…I mean really WELL DONE!‖ When SAF finally left because Phelan needed feeding I turned to Berba, ―What was all that about? What case? Who are partners? What‘s going on?‖ ―Ha ha Micky, you‘re so adorable…We are now partners, SAF thinks I‘m better suited to being a quasi-naïve fictional detective

than being a really, really good footballer. I had one of those devices that self-destruct fitted to the case notes…you know the one you tried to get working. I can show you how it works if you like. Anyway, the case has now been erased and I‘m not allowed to divulge any information. You know the detective code. I knew you wanted to cele-brate your birthday in peace so I covered for you. Whenever I went to a meeting I just took a wall covered with wet paint on it as your replacement. No one seemed to notice.‖ ―Well, what can I say, Berba, thank you…partner!‖ We high-tenned albeit in a slightly different way to the way me and Hargo do it, to avoid copyright infringe-ment. Okay, so if what Berba has told me is right then the second you finish reading this sentence this document will self-destruct. It hasn‘t done it, has it? Ruddy thing! Berba!! Berba!! Okay, you‘re just going to have to dispose of it yourself. I don‘t know tear the internet into little pieces and eat it if you have too. Keep ‗em peeled!

20 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

A

MONTH

IN FOOTBALL

United 4 Wolves 1

Premier League 10th December 2011

THE STORY The best remedy for a poor mid-week result in Switzerland as United fans demanded a re-sponse from the lack-lustre side. Rooney found his shooting boots again, netting twice; his first goals in the league since mid-September. Nani added a double of his own as we dominated the West-Midlands club who had a conso-lation after half time through Steven

QPR 0 United 2

Premier League 18th December 2011

THE STORY United opened the scoring inside the first minute as Rooney continued his comeback to scor-ing with an impressive header. Michael Car-rick scored his first of the season in the sec-ond half to end QPR‘s hopes of getting back into the game. United went top of the table, albeit for a matter of hours, as they contin-ued to put pressure on City at the summit of the Premier League.

Fulham 0 United 5

Premier League 21st December 2011

THE STORY Despite being a difficult ground for United in recent seasons, the visitors barely broke a sweat in their second match in three days. Welbeck fired United in front inside five minutes. Goals from Nani, Giggs, Rooney and Berbatov ensured United three points and improved goal difference. The only negatives being inju-ries sustained to Young and Jones.

City 15 12 2 1 38 United 15 11 3 1 36 Spurs 14 10 1 3 34

City 16 13 2 1 41 United 16 12 3 1 39 Spurs 15 11 1 3 34

City 17 14 2 1 44 United 17 13 3 1 42 Spurs 16 11 2 3 35

P W D L Pts P W D L Pts P W D L Pts

Basel 2 United 1

Champions League 7th December 2011

THE STORY An em-barrassing result for United which saw them fail to qualify for the Champions League knock-out phase for the first time since 2005. A late Phil Jones consolation wasn't enough after Basel scored one in each half to progress. A trip to Amsterdam in the Eu-ropa League now awaits United.

Benfica 6 3 3 0 12 Basel 6 3 2 1 11 United 6 2 3 1 9

P W D L Pts

21 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

United 2 Blackburn 3

Premier League 31st December 2011

THE STORY It was no happy birthday for Fergie as he clocked up his 70th year in front of Old Trafford. United went two down against bottom of the table, Blackburn fol-lowing a Yakubu dou-ble - the first being a penalty following Ber-batov‘s push on Samba. The Bulgarian redeemed himself by scoring a brace to draw level but Grant Hanley scored late on to ensure a shock win.

Newcastle 3 United 0

Premier League 4th January 2012

THE STORY United suffered a blow to their title hopes as City took a three point lead at the top of the table the night before. United looked out of sorts against Newcastle and whilst the home side never dominated play, United failed to chal-lenge Krul in the final third. Goals from Ba, Cabaye and Jones (OG) sealed three points for the Magpies and back to back loses for United.

Fulham 0 United 5

Premier League 21st December 2011

THE STORY Despite being a difficult ground for United in recent seasons, the visitors barely broke a sweat in their second match in three days. Welbeck fired United in front inside five minutes. Goals from Nani, Giggs, Rooney and Berbatov ensured United three points and improved goal difference. The only negatives being inju-ries sustained to Young and Jones.

United 5 Wigan 0

Premier League 26th December 2011

THE STORY Dimitar Berbatov got the head-lines as United settled for two back to back 5-0 victories. The Bul-garian scored a hatrick in only his second Pre-mier League start the season. Goals from Park and Valencia added to the tally. Wi-gan were rightly ag-grieved when Conor Sammon was sent off for an arm across Car-rick‘s face but the three points never looked in doubt.

City 17 14 2 1 44 United 17 13 3 1 42 Spurs 16 11 2 3 35

City 20 15 3 2 48 United 19 14 3 3 45 Spurs 19 13 3 3 42

City 19 14 3 2 45 United 19 14 3 2 45 Spurs 18 12 3 3 39

City 18 14 3 1 45 United 18 14 3 1 45 Spurs 17 12 2 3 38

P W D L Pts

P W D L Pts P W D L Pts P W D L Pts

22 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

Ole Gunnar Soslkjaer. Now there‘s a name that stirs the memories and encourages every Manchester United fan to don their rose-tinted spectacles. After all, this is the man who won United the Champions League with that legendary toe-poke in 1999. The man who banged goals in left, right and cen-tre while he was at United (eventually bagging 126 in total), and the man who became a cult hero at Old Trafford for scathing down Newcastle United‘s Rob Lee who was clean through on goal to preserve a one goal lead. But now, far away from the glittering lights of Old Traf-ford, the baby faced assassin is carving out a new career for himself, in management. Yes, that‘s right, the legen-dary striker took over the reins at his former club Molde and recently led them to their first ever league title last season, and looking in complete control as he did so. He might not be at Fergie‘s level just yet, but he‘s head-ing in the right direction. Prior to Solskjaer taking over at his starting club, Molde FK were languishing in 11th place in the Tippeli-gaen. Since his appointment though, things have been far from boring.

Having a goal average of 1.8 a game (that‘s 54 in total, folks) coupled with an aver-age of 1.27 goals conceded a

game (38 in total) means that there is very rarely a bore draw at the Aker Sta-dium. Discipline hasn‘t been bad either under our very own hero, with Molde pick-ing up 38 yellow and 1 red card in 30 games. Their success may be down, in part, to Ole but he has a

number of key players that he can turn to when the going gets tough. Their success may be down, in part, to Ole but he has a number of key players that he can turn to when the going gets tough.

23 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

be likened to United‘s Welsh wing wizard due to his years of service to his hometown club. And then there‘s a name you may remember – Magnus Eikrem. The former red moved to Molde last sum-mer and was vital to their title winning side, gaining plaudits as the best player in the league from many Nor-wegian pundits. Many have speculated that United in-serted a buy back clause into his contract but one thing is for sure – he has a massive future. Because of the players‘ con-tributions, Ole was recently linked with the likes of Blackburn and Portsmouth. The speculation over the Blackburn move died down, however, when Venky‘s de-cided to give Steve Kean the vote of confidence. Ports-mouth, though, seems like an attractive proposition for United‘s ex-reserve team manager, as it would give him a chance to bed down roots in England‘s manage-rial game. If he were to do that, one thing would be for sure, Sir Alex would have another old boy to do battle with even-tually and, who knows, one legend may be born from another‘s misfortune…

By Harry Sherlock @FootyFanatic

a ball-playing central mid-fielder who, at one stage, was linked with a £5 million move to United themselves and Daniel Berg Hestad. The two form a decent part-nership in central midfield and Hestad, Molde‘s captain and a fan‘s favourite, is a legend in Norway and could

The likes of Pape Pate Diouf who, in 21 starts, has netted 15 goals. His versatility means that he can play any-where across the front three, giving Solskjaer an unpredictability in his team selection that many in Nor-way cannot match. Along with Diouf is Vegard Forren,

THE BABY

FACED

MANAGER Harry addresses Ole Gunnar

Solskjaer’s managerial achievements in his native Norway with former club,

Molde FK.

24 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

This month we have put Will Lumb into the Born & Red hotseat as he discusses his horror at the 6-1 derby loss, his hate for Liverpool and why Kieran Richardson evokes such happy memories!

Name: Will Lumb Age: 15 Occupation: None! Where do you reside? Manchester How did you become a United fan? Most of my family are reds, I had no choice! First match you attended? United vs Villa 2001/02. We won 1-0. Preferential seating area at Old Trafford? My season ticket is in the Stretford End Lower, but I can't wait to move up to the Upper, the atmosphere there is easily the best in the ground.

Favourite ever United player? Paul Scholes. Favourite current player? Nemanja Vidic. Signing you were most excited by? Hate to say it, but Carlos Tevez. When he signed I was so excited at the destuction a forward line of Ronaldo-Tevez-Rooney could cause! Least liked United player? Heinze - the fact he wanted to join Liverpool is the ulti-mate betrayal. Are you an away match goer? I apply to most away games, but rarely get tickets due to the over subscription.

Best away ground? White Hart Lane. Best away experience? FA Youth Cup vs Liverpool last season, went 2-0 down and turned it round to win 3-2! Are you a shouter or a thinker at matches? Shouter! Best and worst things about the club? Best: The history, tradition and support. Worst: Small

BORN AND RED

Image Right: Best away ground White Hart Lane

25 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

fuelled with the Suarez Saga. Best moment as a United fan? Winning number 19 - the explosion of emotion was something I will never ex-perience again. Worst moment as fan? The 6-1- a horrible day, made worse by the United fans that abandoned the ground at 3-0. Biggest prick in foot-ball? John Terry. Sum up United's last season in ten words or less. We knocked the Scousers off their perch. Our best United XI? Schmeichel, G Neville, Ed-wards, Vidic, Irwin, Ronaldo, Scholes. Charlton, Giggs, Best, Cantona.

Ronaldo or Messi? Messi. Evening or weekend fixture? Weekend. Saturday 3pm. How it should be! Champions League or Premier League? Premier League. Old Wembley or New Wembley? Never went to the old Wem-bley but I don't like the new one at all, so I'll say the old. Scholes or Giggs? Have to say Scholes, he's my favourite player of all time but Giggs is an obvious leg-end. Home or Away? Tough one, I love being able to go to every Home game but the atmosphere at Away games is electric but rarely get to them. Stone Roses or Oasis? Love them both but I‘ll go for Oasis.

minority of fans that sing about rival clubs' tragedies, no place for that in football. Who do you want as the next United manager? Pep Guardiola, I love the football Barca play and think he'd warm to the challenge. Any experiences with players to share? I regularly meet players at the Reserves games I attend, only for photos/autographs though. Best match you've ever attended? United 4-3 City. What a game! Favourite piece of United memorabilia? A pair of Kieran Richardson's boots from the 04/05 season. Biggest rivals and why? Liverpool- I despise every-thing about them, my hatred has been increasingly

BORN AND RED

“The explosion of emotion was something I will never

experience again.”

@Will_Lumb

Image Right: Best away experience:

United beating Liverpool in last

season’s FA Youth Cup Final at Anfield.

26 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

THE DAY

THAT...

United

regained

supremacy In a relatively new feature for the magazine, one member of the team reminisces about a particular day in United’s history pertinent to them...

Of all of United‘s league successes that I have been around for, there‘s a special place reserved in my mem-ory for the 2006/07 cam-paign. Before this victory, you‘d have to go back to 2003 for the last time Man-chester United had won the Premier League. Arsenal were, quite literally, invinci-ble in 2003/04, and the combination of a rich Rus-sian owner and a ―special‖ Portuguese coach helped Chelsea dominated in the two following seasons. It was the first time in the Premier League era that United had gone even two

years without being crowned champions, never mind three. Sir Alex Fergu-son was being labelled by many in the game as an ageing, out-of-touch man-ager who was being shown up by the younger Mour-inho, the new sheriff in town. But he, and United, were to prove otherwise. The season hadn‘t even started before United were apparently facing their first crisis. Wayne Rooney‘s sending off at the 2006 World Cup, and signifi-cantly Cristiano Ronaldo‘s involvement in it, had led to

speculation about whether the two could play together at Old Trafford. There were no signs of a rift however, and the pair went on to have a breakthrough season for the Reds, netting a com-bined 46 goals - sixteen more than the previous campaign, and helping fill the void left by Ruud Van Nistelrooy‘s summer depar-ture. Also leaving the club before the season started were Jonathan Spector, David Bellion and Quinton Fortune. Michael Carrick was the only summer arri-val, adding to Patrice Evra and Nemanja Vidic who joined in the previous Janu-ary. It would take a big ef-fort for United to wrestle the title from Chelsea though, who finished eight points above Ferguson‘s side in 2006. The season started promis-ingly for the new-look Man-chester United, taking maxi-mum points from their first four fixtures. I was at Old Trafford with my Dad for the opening game against Fulham, anxious to see if

27 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

our two brightest talents could put the incident in Gel-senkirchen behind them. Within 20 minutes, we were 4-0 up. Rooney scored one, and then assisted Ronaldo‘s strike about two minutes later. Panic over. Wins over Charlton, Watford and Tot-tenham followed, but then momentum was halted. Arse-nal earned a 1-0 win at Old Trafford, before we were held to a 1-1 draw at newly-promoted Reading. Incredi-bly, this was the only stage over the course of the whole season where Manchester United were not occupying 1st place in the table. I won‘t go through the entire season, in-keeping with the title ‗The day that…‘ and not

‗The season that…‘ Throughout the 2006-07 campaign though, two games in particular stand out, and they both came in the final stages of the season - or ―squeaky bum time‖ as Fergie refers to it. In late April, with Chelsea just three points behind us, we travelled to Everton. My brother and a bunch of his mates were all going to Goodison Park, and my jeal-ousy turned to ecstasy when, on the Friday eve-ning, one of them pulled out due to food poisoning. Though a little last-minute, I couldn‘t wait. A deflected free kick gave them a 1-0 lead to take into half time, meanwhile United support-ers around me were

spreading word that Chelsea were 2-1 up at home to Bol-ton. Early in the second half, we celebrated Kevin Davies‘ equaliser at the Bridge, before literally a minute later watching on as Gelson Fernandes hit a screamer to double Ever-ton‘s advantage. I remem-ber my brother saying ―We‘re not coming back from this,‖ but I was quick to remind him that United could never be written off. A quite remarkable comeback ensued, and the 4-2 win stretched our lead at the top to five points. A week later, United made the short journey to East-lands to take on (before they were noisy) neighbours

28 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

Manchester City. With three games left of the season, a win here would take us eight points clear of Chelsea, who were playing Arsenal the following night. Three points would all but mathe-matically seal the title. I get nervous before every United game. I get twice as anxious when those games are Man-chester derbies. And when those games are potentially title-deciding, well… you get where I‘m going here. The nerves were eased when Cristiano Ronaldo netted a penalty late in the first half, but I‘ll always remember the game for another pen-alty - the one awarded to City with about ten minutes to go. We had been comfort-able throughout the second half but now, Darius Vassell could give Chelsea a huge boost in the title race. Edwin Van Der Sar had other ideas though, and though he dived past the ball, managed to keep it out with his legs. The last ten minutes were torture, but we saw the game out. The celebrations (both on the pitch and in my living room) after the final whistle told you everything you needed to know. The Pre-mier League title was re-turning to Old Trafford. It was confirmed the next night as Chelsea were held to a draw at the Emirates. I remember watching that game in a local pub with a few friends, not knowing if I was more pleased about us winning the league or not being asked for I.D at the bar. One of my mates was a

huge Chelsea fan (since 2003), so I took great pleas-ure in rubbing his nose in it. ―We got our trophy back‖, I sang for a good half hour. He got his own back a few weeks later in the FA Cup final, but given a choice I know which one I‘d rather win. Three years isn‘t an awfully long time in football, but it seemed like an eternity for United to go without the league title. I suppose we, as United supporters, had been spoiled with trophy after trophy for such a long time, that it was strange seeing another team who were better, stronger, faster, per-haps hungrier, and certainly more consistent. What I loved most about this title victory was the fact that it was the result of a long tran-sitional period. From 2003, the last time we‘d won the league, this squad was barely recognisable. While many doubted Ferguson at the time, he had faith that

Wayne Rooney and Cris-tiano Ronaldo would go on to be world-class, and built the fluid, attacking nature of the team around them. He already had Rio Ferdinand, and then in January 2006 added Nemanja Vidic for just £7m. He had realised that Kleberson, Eric Djemba-Djemba and David Bellion weren‘t up to standard, so he let them go. He also let Roy Keane and Ruud Van Nistelrooy, two great ser-vants, depart at the right time. Edwin Van Der Sar and Patrice Evra were key acquisitions, too. It was the squad who, in the following year, would do the league and European Cup double, and almost repeat that feat in 2009. The rebuilding process had been a success (eventually) again, and United got their trophy back.

By Jack Harvey

@Harvey_91

29 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

@footballUB

MANCHESTER UNITED OPINION, DEBATE AND FUN ALL IN ONE PLACE.

www.football-united-blogs.com

Up to date NEWS...

• Regular articles • Interviews

• Weekly columns • Manchester United’s first

exclusively online fanzine

With the best

UNITED VIEWS...

30 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

@HoldAndGive

31 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

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ADVERTISE INSIDE THIS

FANZINE?

Email: Editor.fub@live.co.uk

Or click here for more information. Offering

the best rates for your products and tailor

made packages to link with the website.

THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE TO PURCHASE THE LIMITED EDITION BATTLE OF MANCHESTER

MAGAZINE!!!

Released in February 2011 prior to the Manchester derby, this magazine was

written by both United and City fans. Only 500 copies were printed and a small hand-ful are still available for purchase. Includ-ing features with Andy Mitten, Pete Boyle

and David May amongst others. The maga-zine would make a perfect addition if you

are a United collector.

Cost per magazine: £3 (within UK) payable via PayPal to: editor.fub@live.co.uk

If you would like to pay by another means or live outside the UK please contact the

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or email: itmccartney@btinternet.com

32 ISSUE 11, JANUARY 2012

Christmas has been and gone for another year and the busy festive fixture list is

slowing down, meaning hopefully some of those on the physio‘s table can work their

way back into the side. Clawing back points has been United‘s achievement over the last month and, despite the disappointment of an early European exit and poor displays against Blackburn and Newcastle, there is much to be positive about as we move into the second half of the season. City better

watch their backs, we‘ve got a tough month coming up but, unlike them, we know all

about chasing titles.

Issue 11 is out on Sunday 5th February 2012

The Final Word