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Football

PRODUCED BY FOOTBALL FANS, FOR FOOTBALL FANS

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FF_Cover3.indd 7 13/10/08 13:56:22

How much do you love your club, would you be prepared to get frost bite?

The question is, would you write a letter on your

friend’s back side?

How big is this

guy’s belly button?

What a legend!

What is this guy on?

Are there any better fans in the world than us?

Are there any better fans in the world than us?

What Kind Of Fan Are you?

FF_IFC.indd 2 13/10/08 13:12:46

ISSUE 1 FOOTBALL FRIENDS 3

Here’s your opportunity to see the world’s greatest

football stars, and also get a FREE monthly football

magazine, that’s right free!!!

At Football Friends we felt something had to be done

for you die hard football fans. With almost everything

going up in price these days: match day tickets, petrol,

even the simple luxury of a half-time burger, we’re here

to ease your match-day financial woes.

You can pick up your free copy of Football Friends

once a month, and visit www.footballfriends.org.uk

to find out all our latest news and developments.

Inside the magazine there’s a contrast to your normal

football reading, with a combination of some of

football’s more serious issues, such as the grass roots

challenges facing the FA, as well as a good old pub

quiz. But watch out, because if you don’t score enough

points, you won’t like your prize…

Unfortunately, we can’t promise you a victory today,

but we can damn sure guarantee you a laugh: win, lose

or draw!

Football Friends is created by a fan for the fans, so this

is your magazine – what do you want in it? Let us know!!

Visit www.footballfriends.org.uk and tell us what has

to go, and what you want in YOUR magazine.

Happy reading…

BEING A FOOTBALL FAN JUST GOT A LITTLE BETTER...

LOOKINGGOOD BOYS!

FF_Welcome.indd 3 13/10/08 13:15:48

4 FOOTBALL FRIENDS ISSUE 1

PROFILE

David Beckham: A LEGEND IN HIS OWN LIFETIME


FF_Beckham.indd 4 13/10/08 12:47:58


ALMOST EVERYONE WITH AN INTEREST IN FOOTBALL HAS AN OPINION ON DAVID BECKHAM AND WHETHER YOU LOVE HIM, LOATHE HIM OR FALL SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN, THERE CAN BE NO DENYING THE ICONIC STATUS THE MAN HAS HAD ACROSS THE WORLD OVER THE PAST TEN YEARS OR SO.

David inherited his love for Manchester

United from his dad Ted and it was his

driving ambition to play for the club

of his dreams. As a youngster he attended

Bobby Charlton’s soccer schools and signed

for the Red Devils on his 14th birthday.Beckham’s talents were nurtured

through the club’s youth ranks and

alongside the likes of Scholes, the

Neville’s and Nicky Butt he triumphed

in the F.A. Youth Cup in 1992.

He gained league experience on loan

at Preston during the 1994/95 season

and made his Manchester United league

debut towards the end of the season.

The following season saw Beckham

score in the opening game for United, a

3-1 away defeat to Aston Villa. The result

prompted a certain Scottish pundit to

infamously state “you’ll never win anything

with kids”. The rest of course is history as

the Red Devils went on to clinch a League

and Cup double with a host of names that

graduated from the youth team, including

Beckham who scored 7 times in 33 league

games as well as scoring in the F.A. Cup

semi-fi nal.

On the back of this great fi rst full season

Beckham really shot to fame at the start

of the 1996-97 campaign. With United 2-0

up on the fi rst day of the season Beckham

spotted Dons keeper Neil Sullivan off his

line and beat him with a sublime chip-from

beyond the halfway line. Another Premier

League title was wrapped up that season

and Beckham broke into the England

squad, making his debut against Moldova in

September 1996.

It was in early 1997 that David fi rst met his

future Wife, Victoria or Posh Spice as she

was more famously known. Posh, part of the

most famous pop group in the world at the

time, founders of girl power-the Spice Girls

met David after a match at Chelsea and the

pair started dating not long after.

The press soon picked up on this and

dubbed the couple Posh & Becks. Beckham

proposed in August of that year in a

Cheshire hotel.

LIVING THE DREAMAt this stage Becks was living his dream,

playing for the club of his dreams, enjoying

great success, becoming an international

regular and being engaged to a pop star

to boot.

At this stage the press were becoming

almost as interested in his fashion as his

football and took much delight in snapping

him out wearing a dress (sarong) in

the summer of 1998. He has since been

portrayed as a gay icon through various

photo shoots and for many years was front

page news every time he did so much as

have a haircut.

1997-98 was a disappointing season

at club level with United tipped to the

title by Arsenal but Beckham played in

every England qualifi er for World Cup

98 and he had the fi nals in France to

look forward to.

Despite being a regular throughout

qualifying Beckham found himself on

the bench for the fi rst two games with

manager Glenn Hoddle questioning his

focus. I fi red up Beckham was chosen for the

fi nal group game against Columbia. Having

won one and lost one England needed a

result and the poster boy didn’t disappoint,

scoring his fi rst England goal with a superb

free-kick in a 2-0 win.

The second round saw England face

old rivals Argentina, it was a match that

would rock Beckham’s career and standing

like never before. After a frenetic fi rst half

the two sides came out at 2-2 but within

minutes the game had turned in Argentina’s

favour. Beckham was fouled near the

halfway line by Diego Simeone, this caused

him to aim a petulant kick at his opponent

from the ground and Simeone promptly

went down as if he had been shot by a

sniper. Beckham instantly went from hero to

zero as he was sent off and England were

beaten on penalties.

The media were quick to chastise the fallen

idol and whipped the nation into a frenzy

of hatred amongst non-Man Utd fans with

headlines like “ten brave lions, one stupid boy”.

score in the opening game for United, a

3-1 away defeat to Aston Villa. The result

prompted a certain Scottish pundit to


with kids”. The rest of course is history as

the Red Devils went on to clinch a League

and Cup double with a host of names that

graduated from the youth team, including

Beckham who scored 7 times in 33 league

games as well as scoring in the F.A. Cup

semi-fi nal.

Beckham really shot to fame at the start

of the 1996-97 campaign. With United 2-0

up on the fi rst day of the season Beckham

spotted Dons keeper Neil Sullivan off his

line and beat him with a sublime chip-from

beyond the halfway line. Another Premier

League title was wrapped up that season

and Beckham broke into the England


avid inherited his love for Manchester

United from his dad Ted and it was his

Bobby Charlton’s soccer schools and signed


him out wearing a dress (sarong) in

the summer of 1998. He has since been

portrayed as a gay icon through various

photo shoots and for many years was front

page news every time he did so much as

have a haircut.

at club level with United tipped to the

look forward to.

qualifying Beckham found himself on

the bench for the fi rst two games with

manager Glenn Hoddle questioning his

focus. I fi red up Beckham was chosen for the

fi nal group game against Columbia. Having

won one and lost one England needed a

result and the poster boy didn’t disappoint,

scoring his fi rst England goal with a superb

FF_Beckham.indd 5 13/10/08 12:48:21


In the build up to the 1998/99 season an

effi gies of Beckham were being hung and

burnt by irate fans and he was booed

and barracked with every touch of

the ball by supporters at grounds the

length and breadth of the country.

Despite this he received great

supported from within, Posh and

his family stuck by him, as did his

boss Alex Ferguson, his Manchester

United team mates and the Man Utd

fans. This inspired him to produce

some of the best football of his career

culminating in an unprecedented League,

F.A. Cup and Champions League treble

on the unforgettable night in Barcelona. His

performances that year saw him named the

2nd best player in the world by FIFA.

1999 was also a happy year for Becks,

with his fi rst son born in March. Brooklyn

was allegedly named after the place he was

conceived; thank goodness for him it wasn’t

Peckham! Posh and Becks married later that

year in Ireland in a wedding costing over half

a million pounds and moved into the £8M

‘Beckingham Palace’.

The following two seasons brought

more title success at Old Trafford but his

relationship with the club was showing signs

of strain. He was dropped from the team

and fi ned in 2000 for missing a training

session on the grounds that his son was ill.

A reasonable excuse you might think, that is

until the press pictured his wife out shopping

that very same day.

That same year England were dumped

out of the European Championship fi nals at

the fi rst stage but the tournament perhaps

represented a turning point with the fans.

Having been personally abused throughout

the game, Beckham reacted with a middle

fi nger gesture towards his hecklers. His

manager Kevin Keegan having heard the level

of abuse stood up for Beckham and even the

press, who had previously vilifi ed him, stated

it was time to lay off the man.

PROFILE

CAPTAIN FANTASTICFollowing Keegans’ resignation as England

boss Peter Taylor took over for one game,

away against Italy and made Beckham

Captain for the fi rst time, the proudest

moment in his career. Sven Goran Eriksson

was then appointed as manager and

Beckham remained as skipper, enjoying a

close relationship with the Swede.

It was during a 2002 World Cup qualifi er

that Beckham’s turnaround from hero to

zero and back again was complete. England

needed just a point at home to Greece to

qualify for the fi nals but trailed 2-1 in injury

time. The team had produced a lacklustre

display with Beckham seemingly the only

one on form. He had set up England’s fi rst

equaliser and now stood over a free-kick

25yards out. His perfect strike clipped the bar

on the way in and sent Old Trafford and the

nation into raptures. At the end of the year he

was named as the BBC’s Sports Personality

of the Year and was again runner up in FIFA’s

world player of the year.

Prior to the 2002 fi nals in Japan Becks

suffered an injury which put his

participation in doubt and brought the

metatarsal bone to the forefront of

everyone’s attention. He may not

have been fully fi t but did make

the tournament and in Sapporo in

June he exorcised many of his own

personal demons by scoring the

only goal from the penalty spot

against Argentina.

Later that year Victoria gave birth

to the couple’s 2nd child Romeo.

2002-03 became the fi nal season

in his Manchester United career. With

his relationship with Ferguson not what

it used to be the issue wasn’t helped when

a furious Fergie kicked a boot in the dressing

room following a defeat to Arsenal. The boot

hit Beckham, leaving him with a cut above the

eye and although the boss stated he would

never have managed it had he actually been

aiming for Beckham it certainly didn’t help

matters.

Beckham found himself on the bench for

big games against the likes of Real Madrid

and in the summer of 2003 moved on to the

Spanish giants for £25M.

His fi rst 3 seasons at Madrid were

disappointing as the club failed to secure any

honours and his private life was again brought

to the forefront as he was alleged to have an

affair with his personal assistant, Rebecca

Loos. The Beckham’s have since denied this

happened and have said the incident made

their relationship stronger.

In January 2007 Beckham announced he

had agreed a pre-contract deal to join the

Los Angeles Galaxy in the summer and this

prompted Madrid coach Fabio Capello to

state Beckham had played his last game for

the club. Capello, a tough taskmaster was

attempting to bring success to Madrid by

breaking up the Galactico team of superstars

that had failed so miserably in recent seasons.

However, after proving his commitment

in training Becks returned to the team in


it was time to lay off the man. Prior to the 2002 fi nals in Japan Becks in training Becks returned to the team in

In the build up to the 1998/99 season an

effi gies of Beckham were being hung and

culminating in an unprecedented League,

on the unforgettable night in Barcelona. His

performances that year saw him named the

1999 was also a happy year for Becks,

with his fi rst son born in March. Brooklyn

suffered an injury which put his

participation in doubt and brought the

metatarsal bone to the forefront of

everyone’s attention. He may not

have been fully fi t but did make

the tournament and in Sapporo in

to the couple’s 2nd child Romeo.

in his Manchester United career. With

his relationship with Ferguson not what

it used to be the issue wasn’t helped when

a furious Fergie kicked a boot in the dressing

room following a defeat to Arsenal. The boot

hit Beckham, leaving him with a cut above the

eye and although the boss stated he would

FF_Beckham.indd 6 13/10/08 12:48:43

ISSUE 1 FOOTBALL FRIENDS 7ISSUE 1 FOOTBALL FRIENDS 7

February and helped the team to win the title

and so left the club on a high.

It was almost inevitable that Becks would

end up in Hollywood, lauding it with the likes

of Tom Cruise and co but many thought it

was a bad move for his football career due to

the lack of competition in the league.

OUT IN THE COLDThis certainly seemed the case when

England coach Steve McLaren left Becks

out of his squad for the early Euro 2008

qualifying games but a poor run of results

saw Becks return and although England failed

to qualify his inclusion did improve results.

Fabio Capello replaced McLaren as England

failed to qualify for Euro 2008 and Beckhams

former Madrid coach has continued to include

him in the England fold.

Beckham has certainly had his critics

throughout his career and since England’s

disappointing display at World Cup 2006

many have questioned his place in the side.

Since then however a number of players

have been tried in his position without

producing the goods and until someone can

come in and perform for the three lions his

place is still justifi ed as his assists in recent

games have proved.

Many state the hype and media attention

has enabled him to get more caps than he

deserves and he has rarely played well for his

country, however his stats in relational to goal

assists belittle this belief.

He may not be the most skilful player

and doesn’t have the ability to glide past

players like a Kaka or a Ronaldinho but his

commitment has always been evident and

there has not been and still isn’t a better

crosser of the ball in the game.

For the most part he has been a

consummate professional and unlike many of

his fellow England international’s at present

he has had a positive infl uence on the sport

on and off the fi eld.

FF_Beckham.indd 7 13/10/08 12:49:13

8 FOOTBALL FRIENDS ISSUE 18 FOOTBALL FRIENDS ISSUE 1

SO NOW YOU KNOW...

NAME: Ian Holloway

AGE: 45

HEIGHT: 5”8

POSITION: Sky Pundit

VALUE: His jokes are priceless!

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Bristol Rovers / QPR / Plymouth Argyle / Leicester City

GREATEST MOMENT: Type in Ian Holloway into youtube and check out his comments for a lucky win whilst in charge at QPR…hilarious

EGG ON YOUR FACE: Being relegated as Leicester City manager

FF PREDICATION: Will become a manager of a League One club possibly a Championship side

SO NOW YOU KNOW...

FF_Holloway.indd 8 13/10/08 13:31:07


Luckily, for those of us without superhuman

abilities, players of their ilk tend to be the

exception rather than the rule. In fact, there

are players who were on the verge of giving

up before their talent was recognised.Ian Wright is an Arsenal legend, and yet

he didn’t sign a professional contract until

just before his 22nd birthday. He’d had trials

at both Southend and Brighton, but didn’t

impress enough to get offered a contract.

It wasn’t until he was on the verge of

becoming a full-time plasterer and abandoning

his football-playing dreams altogether that he

was scouted by Crystal Palace.

Playing amateur and non-league football

at 21, Wright looked like he’d never make it.

Given that he wasn’t recognised until so late,

the fact that he scored 185 goals in 279 starts

for one of the best teams in the country is

even more of an incredible feat.

A prolifi c goalscorer, Wright will be

remembered as a Gunners hero, despite the

fact that he could easily have given up in his

late teens when success and recognition were

so hard for him to come by.

Stoke’s David Kitson has a similar story to

tell, almost giving up entirely on a footballing

career to focus on his job as a frozen food

stacker in Sainsbury’s. Playing for the likes

of Hitchin Town and Arlesey Town, his early

years don’t exactly scream ‘Premier League

player in the making.’ As a youngster, Kitson

was largely overlooked, only arriving on the

scene relatively late in his life.

The phenomenon isn’t limited to English

footballers either. Luca Toni, who has only

gained recognition and played for his country

in recent seasons, is already 31. For someone

who has come to people’s attention so

recently, it seems incredible that he’s already

entering the fi nal years of his footballing career.

These and other tales of late success

should comfort us mere mortals, who aren’t

playing for Man United or Real Madrid by

the time we’re 17. There’s a lot to be said

for determination and bloody-minded

persistence. After all, it only takes one lucky

break for someone to make it.

FOR SOME PEOPLE, SUCCESS COMES EASY. JUST ASK MESSI AND RONALDO. TORMENTING DEFENCES BEFORE THEY WERE EVEN OUT OF NAPPIES, THEY ARE ARGUABLY THE TWO FINEST FOOTBALL TALENTS ON THE PLANET. EVEN SCARIER THAN THAT, THEIR BEST YEARS ARE STILL AHEAD OF THEM.

Runninglate...

‘FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS COME TO PEOPLE’S ATTENTION SO RECENTLY, IT SEEMS INCREDIBLE THAT TONI IS ALREADY ENTERING THE FINAL YEARS OF HIS FOOTBALLING CAREER.’

Luckily, for those of us without superhuman

abilities, players of their ilk tend to be the

exception rather than the rule. In fact, there

are players who were on the verge of giving

RunningRunningRunningRunningRunningRunningRunningRunningRunningRunninglate... late... Runninglate... RunningRunninglate... RunningRunninglate... Runninglate... Runninglate...

LATE STARTERS

late teens when success and recognition were

entering the fi nal years of his footballing career. ‘FOR SOMEONE WHO HAS COME

Dave - scoring not stacking

Luca: better late than never...

Ian made the Wright

Wright Wright choice!

FF_Late_Starters.indd 9 13/10/08 13:25:51


FOLLOWING ENGLAND’S FAILURE TO QUALIFY FOR EURO 2008 THE F.A. PROMISED A ROOT AND BRANCH INVESTIGATION INTO THE STATE OF THE GAME.

GRASSROOTS

Puyol - home grown

WHAT’S WRONG

WITH

FOLLOWING ENGLAND’S FAILURE TO QUALIFY FOR EURO 2008 THE F.A. PROMISED A ROOT AND BRANCH INVESTIGATION INTO THE STATE OF THE GAME.

ENGLISH FOOTBALL?

Recent developments suggest this is

beginning to take place but are the

most important issues being tackled?Certainly the new respect campaign which

aims to tackle referee abuse and promote

encouragement rather than abuse from the

sidelines is a step in the right direction.

By starting at the top and imposing strict

rules on Premier Clubs with regards to the

way players address offi cials the hope is that

this will fi lter down. In Sheffi eld last season

around a third of all league games were

played without a referee and this is a fair

refl ection of the country as a whole. Players

like Rooney are idolised by kids and they

copy the traits of the stars, including the

abuse, if they are shown that this will not be

tolerated then in time attitudes may change.

But it’s not just the players that abuse the

offi cials; in youth matches it’s the parents that

are the main cause for concern. There is often

a win at all costs attitude that puts pressure

on the kids, the coaches and the offi cials.

At some levels this approach is adopted by

managers and coaches and this can often

be detrimental to the development of the

players. Technique can be put aside in the

quest for victory and the enjoyment is lost. In

Holland kids don’t play in competitive leagues

in the same way that they do here. Right up

until their mid-teens training is skills based

and any competitive tournaments are played

on small-sided pitches. A similar approach is

evident when youngsters join the top clubs in

Spain. Evidence that this approach works can

be seen within the Euro 2008 winning squad,

a fair number of whom graduated from

Barcelona’s highly acclaimed academy. Just

by glancing at a few of the names to come

through the famed La Masia youth system

include Puyol, Fabregas, Iniesta, Reina, Xavi,

Arteta, Bojan and of Lionel Messi.

Technically it is hard to deny that on the

whole, Dutch and Spanish players possess

greater skill and ability based attributes

than our own. The lack of success that they

have enjoyed at international level is often

attributed to poor attitude or a lack of

commitment when the going gets tough. The

way forward must be to fi nd a balance.

Much has been said about the need to

limit foreign players in England’s professional

leagues for the sake of the national team.

A review by the telegraph last season

highlighted the problems in this area with an

average of less than 3 Englishmen per team

starting Premier League matches including

just 7 goalkeepers and 11 strikers. World

Champions Italy are able to pick from double

the amount home grown players in Serie A

and although the top clubs in Spain are full of

overseas stars a good number of clubs in La

Liga often fi eld teams consisting of over 50%

Spanish nationality.

There are plenty of top class foreign

players that improve the standard of our

domestic league and enhance some of our

players through this. However there are also

a high number of players that may not be

better than young English players but they

FF_GrassRoots2.indd 10 13/10/08 13:24:32


Robinho: Premiership’s

most expensive

are cheaper to buy from abroad and

it is cheaper to look abroad for proven players

that can make an instant impact than it is

to spend money on nurturing home grown

players with potential through academies.

This needs to be addressed if our

national team is to makes strides in future

tournaments.

In addition to this, now more than ever

the infl ux of foreign money into the Premier

League is attracting the big name players

as well as the cheaper imports. Clubs like

Chelsea and now Manchester City want to

attract the world renowned stars in order

to try to gain instant success as well as

capitalise on footballs global market appeal

and this is what they will spend their money

on rather than nurturing young English

players from academies or the lower leagues.

The Premier League is the place to be at the

moment as regards to the best players on

the planet but this may not be helping the

national team.

Had England managed to scrape through

to the Euro 2008 fi nals then maybe this would

have papered over the cracks. The best thing

to come out of England’s abject failure is that

action is now going to be taken to address the

faults and the opportunity for change has to

be grasped with both hands and embraced by

everybody involved in the sport.

Deco: Followed Big Phil to

Stamford Bridge

are cheaper to buy from abroad and

it is cheaper to look abroad for proven players

Berbs: Old Trafford too big

a stage?

FF_GrassRoots2.indd 11 13/10/08 13:24:57

THE DIRECTORS OF FOOTBALL DEBATE RAISED ITS CONFUSED HEAD ONCE AGAIN WITH THE FIASCO AT NEWCASTLE UNITED, WHERE KEVIN KEEGAN WALKED OUT IN PROTEST AT THE WAY HIS BELOVED CLUB WAS BEING RUN. HIS PRIMARY BUGBEAR, WE ARE LED TO BELIEVE, WAS THE APPOINTMENT OF DENNIS WISE TO OVERSEE PLAYER DEVELOPMENT AND RECRUITMENT AT ST JAMES’ PARK, AND THE DILUTION OF INFLUENCE HE SUFFERED AS A RESULT. BY WILL TIDEY


MANAGEMENT

Mike Ashley

AS THE BATTLE played out publicly,

the media cast Keegan and Wise as

representatives of good and evil in

the modern game. Keegan was portrayed

as a purist, shackled by Newcastle owner

Mike Ashley’s over-zealous meddling,

while Wise was the spoiler intent on

undermining him and stealing his thrown. It

was a (fi ttingly) black and white take which

played into Keegan’s hands, but one that

ultimately served to misinform the club’s

legions of adoring fans.To make sense of the trouble on Tyneside,

it essential to recognise the primary

function of a director of football is to

make the life of his manager easier – to

handle the background player dealings and

developments that threaten to distract a man

from his team. Whatever you might think,

Ashley’s wont in appointing Wise was not to

tie Keegan’s hands, but to free the Geordie

Messiah to do what he does best.

This two-tiered system of management

has been preferred throughout Europe

since the professional leagues began, and

garnered clubs like Real Madrid and AC Milan

myriad success in domestic and European

competitions.

Though the concept alters subtlety from

club to club, the basic principle is that a

DIRECTORS OF FOOTBALLDOES IT WORK?

FF_DirectorsOfFootball.indd 12 13/10/08 12:58:53


The ‘Special One’

Avram Grant

Dennis Wise

club’s manager deals with the day-to-day

tasks of running the team, and is wholly

responsible for training, tactics and selection.

At Real Madrid this role is performed by

German Bernd Schuster.

Occupying the director of football role at

the Bernabeu is former Serbian international

Predrag MijatoviÐ, who oversees all scouting,

liaises with Schuster on potential transfer

targets and acts as the buffer between the

changing room and the boardroom. For

any transactions to go through, however,

the approval of the club’s owner, Ramon

Calderon, is required.

When you consider Keegan’s credentials,

Ashley’s commitment to such a structure

makes complete sense. King Kev has never

been renowned for his business acumen,

nor as a particularly shrewd operator in

the transfer market. His stock is as a bold

tactician and motivator, a man who can

galvanise a football club and breathe life into

its players.

FIERCE COMPETITIONMoreover, with such fi erce competition

in the increasingly global transfer market,

Ashley recognised Newcastle could no

longer stand on a fi nancial footing with

the likes of Chelsea and Manchester City.

In bringing in Wise he hoped to improve

the club’s capacity to discover and develop

young players, saving money and investing in

Newcastle’s future in the process.

This is the model that has served Arsenal

so successfully in recent years, bringing

through players such as Cesc Fabregas,

Ashley Cole, David Bentley and Nicklas

Bendtner and saving the club a fortune.

But it did little to help Keegan in the short

term. He had envisaged a return with swift

returns, not a drawn-out grind to glory, and

Ashley’s failure to deliver funds for players

did little to quell his frustration. Neither did

the presence of Wise, in a role Keegan found

at odds to his old-fashioned perspective on

how the game should be run.

In truth, Wise’s appointment as ‘executive

director of football’ in January was nothing

new to the English game. In 1969 Sir Matt

Busby “moved upstairs” at Old Trafford and

took on the position of general manager,

allowing Wilf McGuinness to manage the

side. The plan was for Busby to operate in an

overseeing capacity, while the manager dealt

with the day-to-day issues of team selection

DIRECTORS OF FOOTBALL

and training – a director of football in all

but name.

The new wave of directors of football truly

began in 1993, however, with the return of

Lawrie McMenemy to Southampton under

that specifi c title. Since then a host of

clubs have adopted the system, including

West Ham, Chelsea, Reading, Tottenham,

Nottingham Forest and Stoke.

Like any system of management, it is not

without its problems. When Avram Grant was

appointed director of football at Chelsea in

July last year, Jose Mourinho was so incensed

he upped and left. It seems the bigger the

ego of the manager; the harder it is to accept

a director of football operating over your

shoulder. In such a precarious business, a

sense of being undermined does not a happy

manager make.

At Newcastle, Wise had reportedly begun

to act without Keegan’s consultation. It

wasn’t the system that fl awed, more the way

it was being operated. And Keegan, knowing

that the results of the team would refl ect on

him, was not prepared to stand by and allow

a man with considerably less experience

shape his team. Ashley’s moves to sell Joey

Barton, Michael Owen and Alan Smith simply

exasperated the problem.

Like many a doomed marriage, the

relationship between Wise and Keegan fell

down on a lack of communication, as it did

between Ashley and Keegan. Ashley knew

that had he been open about the club’s

fi nancial clout he would never have lured the

Geordie Messiah out of retirement, but he

failed to fi gure into the equation Keegan’s

huge sense of pride and what his reaction

would be when, as it inevitably did, the true

depth of his pockets became clear.

As for Wise, he has simply been vilifi ed

for doing the job he was asked to – albeit

without keeping Keegan fully informed (if

you believe what you read). His only mistake

was assuming a man like Keegan would

tolerate his presence at all.

FF_DirectorsOfFootball.indd 13 13/10/08 12:59:04


Love your football? Love your banter? Love a football chat?Then Football Friends is the place for you.

FF_Ad.indd 14 13/10/08 13:09:01


Love your football? Love your banter? Love a football chat?Then Football Friends is the place for you.

Football Friends offers you everything

from football chat rooms, to online games, to

your very own fantasy team where you can even

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Think Rooney had a shocking game, think

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Love your club, think you have the best

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record your chants on your mobile and download

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These are just some of the many features on

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Football Friends

FF_Ad.indd 15 13/10/08 14:02:58

SO WHAT’S THE ANSWER? WELL, HERE AT FOOTBALL FRIENDS WE’RE GOING TO GIVE RETROSPECTIVE JUSTICE A GO. AN FA-PANEL ALREADY LOOKS AT HORROR CHALLENGES ON VIDEO, HANDING OUT SUSPENSIONS AND FINES BASED ON ITS FINDINGS.

KICK IT OUT


Drog - he flies through the air

with the greatest of ease...

DIVINGof ease...

DIVINGIT’S TIME TO KICK-0UT

When it comes to diving, simulation

– whatever you want to call it – we

all know who the main culprits

are: Cristiano Ronaldo and Didier Drogba

are right up there, but its not just foreign

players. Joe Cole has been known to writhe

around like an injured insect, and even

‘King of the Kop’ Stevie G has bought a

free-kick or two in his time.The fact is most of the time footballers

don’t know their boat race from their

backside. Remember Marco Materazzi

clutching his face after a head butt to his

chest – albeit one with some considerable

venom from Zidane. It’s going back a bit,

but I also seem to recall Rivaldo going down

like a sack of spuds hiding his eyes in the

2002 World Cup, after having a ball kicked

into his legs. Bless these footballers’ weak

constitutions.

There’s also the issue of gamesmanship:

the imaginary waving of the yellow card or

feigning injury are pet hates of many fans

and commentators. Players also recognise

opponents already on a caution, and often

‘act-up’ subsequent challenges to get a

player sent off. It’s just not on!

So what’s the answer? Well, here at

Football Friends we’re going to give

retrospective justice a go. An FA-panel

already looks at horror challenges on video,

handing out suspensions and fi nes based

on its fi ndings. Following this lead, FF is

starting a campaign that will highlight the

worst offenders, dishing out points based on

the severity of simulation, or the degree of

gamesmanship.

And you as fans will have your say as well.

After watching a game, simply let us know

who the biggest girls blouse was, or who

tried to con the referee the most.

Let’s come together and root out this

abhorrent part of the game once and for all.

• By Tom Woerndl

DIVING

FF_DivingRevise.indd 16 13/10/08 12:58:11


ALEXFERGUSON

PROFILE

MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE SIR ALEX FERGUSON INHERITED RON ATKINSON’S BOOZE-ADDLED, UNDER-ACHIEVING MANCHESTER UNITED SIDE ON 6TH NOVEMBER 1986, WITH NICK BERRY RIDING HIGH IN THE CHARTS, MARGARET THATCHER UNDERMINING THE MINERS AND THE MULLET VERY MUCH OF THE MOMENT. BY WILL TIDEY

Having recovered from an opening

day 2-0 defeat at Oxford United, the

Scot has gone on to add 20 major

trophies to the bulging Old Trafford cabinet

- including 10 Premier League titles, fi ve FA

Cups and two prized Champions League

crowns –and become the most successful

manager in British football history.

Along the way he has nurtured some of the

fi nest talent ever seen on these shores. Ryan

Giggs, Paul Scholes and Cristiano Ronaldo

have all blossomed under his watchful gaze,

and sunset pros like Eric Cantona, Dwight

Yorke and Teddy Sheringham have been

re-born to produce the best form of their

careers. If Old Trafford really is a theatre of

dreams, then Ferguson is its BFG.

All of which will make his exit stage left

from United a huge fork in the road for

the club and its legions of fans. Whether

Ferguson’s retirement comes at the end

of this season or next, or even in the event

he reconsiders and stays into his 70s, a

monumental decision looms for world’s most

famous football club; one that will defi ne a

new era in the English game. Who will be the

next Manchester United manager?

With Ferguson certain to be involved in

THE IRON MAN OF BRITISH FOOTBALL

FF_Ferguson.indd 17 13/10/08 13:06:29


choosing his successor there’s a compelling

case for backing one of his former players to

be given the job. United pride themselves on

tradition and such continuity would only build

the myth that surrounds the Red Devils legend.

Furthermore, placing one of Ferguson’s

protégés at the helm would provide a

smoother transition than looking elsewhere.

Leading the pack in this category on

current form is Mark Hughes, conveniently

located just a few miles away at the City

of Manchester Stadium. Hughes did an

impressive job at Blackburn Rovers and

appears to have both the intelligence and

conviction necessary to succeed at the

highest level. Furthermore “Sparky” retains

cult status at United for his days as a

swashbuckling centre-forward and would be

a popular choice with supporters.

The same could be said of Sunderland

manager Roy Keane, who is surely destined

for greater things than mid-table obscurity in

the northeast. The Irishman would represent

a bold appointment by United at this stage,

however, with his managerial career in its

infancy and no European experience to speak

of. His time will come, but not until he has

another club under his belt or unless he is

prepared to take an understudy role.

Rounding up the ex-United players with

a realistic shot at the big job are Paul Ince,

Steve Bruce and Gordon Strachan -

currently heading things up at Blackburn,

Wigan and Celtic respectively.

Of this trio you’d have to say

Strachan would be the most intelligent

choice. The enigmatic Scot has led

Celtic to three successive Premier

League titles and last season

masterminded scalps of AC Milan,

Benfi ca and Shaktar Donesk to take

his side into the second round of

the Champions League. But when

you consider Ferguson and Strachan

don’t enjoy the best relationship, his

appointment seems unlikely.

Moving outside the United stable, there’s

the obligatory mentions of Jose Mourinho

and Martin O’Neill - whose names come up

with every high-profi le vacancy these days.

Mourinho would relish the challenge at

Old Trafford, but his penchant for packing

midfi eld and winning ugly would not sit well

with the United ethos. Entertainment is king

at the theatre of dreams and for this reason

O’Neill has the edge.

The man I predict United will go for,

however, is neither a former Old Trafford icon,

nor named Mourinho or O’Neill - but a man

currently plying his trade in the Bundesliga

who was once famous for diving. Step

forward Jurgen Klinsmann.

The Bayern Munich manager is young,

charismatic and a purveyor of expansive,

attacking football - a perfect fi t with the

United blueprint. Moreover Klinsmann has the

status within the game to draw big players

to the club. If the Glazers really are intent on

world domination, he’s their man - and don’t

be surprised if Cantona brings his immense

presence to a coaching role.

PROFILE

ALONG THE WAY, FERGIE HAS NURTURED SOME OF THE FINEST TALENT EVER SEEN ON THESE SHORES. RYAN GIGGS, PAUL SCHOLES AND CRISTIANO RONALDO HAVE ALL BLOSSOMED UNDER HIS WATCHFUL GAZE, AND SUNSET PROS LIKE ERIC CANTONA, DWIGHT YORKE AND TEDDY SHERINGHAM HAVE BEEN RE-BORN TO PRODUCE THE BEST FORM OF THEIR CAREERS.

FF_Ferguson.indd 18 13/10/08 13:06:42


SO NOW YOU KNOW...

NAME: Dean Windass (Deano)

AGE: 39 and counting

HEIGHT: 5”10

POSITION: Striker

VALUE: A generous £100 000

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Hull/Sheffi eld Wednesday/Bradford / Middles-brough/Aberdeen/Sheffi eld United/Oxford United

GREATEST MOMENT: Has to be the 18 yard volley in front of nearly 90,000 spectators, to earn his home town team a £60 million prize (could be worse)

EGG ON YOUR FACE: Received 3 Red cards in one game for Ab-erdeen and before you ask the Referee wasn’t Graham Poll!

FF PREDICATION: Will be relegated along with his Hull team mates, but will receive fans player of the year

Received 3 Red

erdeen and before you ask the

FF_Windass.indd 19 13/10/08 13:27:07


FOOTBALL LEAGUE CLUBS ARE CONSTANTLY LOSING THE FRUITS OF THEIR LABOUR TO THE BIG NAMES IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE AND RECENT HIGH PROFILE CASES HAVE BROUGHT HIS ISSUE TO THE FOREFRONT.

YOUNGSTERS

Chelsea’s Michael Woods and Ken Bates (below)

Theo Walcott was snapped up by Arsenal at 16

FOOTBALL LEAGUE CLUBS ARE CONSTANTLY LOSING THE FRUITS OF THEIR LABOUR TO THE BIG NAMES IN THE PREMIER LEAGUE AND RECENT HIGH PROFILE CASES HAVE BROUGHT HIS ISSUE TO THE FOREFRONT.

Theo Walcott was snapped up by Arsenal at 16

MISS-SPENT YOUTH?C

rystal Palace nurtured youngster

John Bostock from the age of just 7.

He made his full Eagles debut at the

age of just 15 but just last month, following

a disagreement on a transfer fee a tribunal

declared that Tottenham would have to pay

an initial fee of just £700,000 to prise the

youngster away from his football roots.Outspoken Palace Chairman Simon Jordan

may not be everyone’s cup of tea but on

this issue his views are certainly worthy

of notice. Jordan described the fee as an

outrage, highlighting the years of work

that the academy had put into the players

development and the fact that he would be

far more likely to play regular competitive

football and aid his advancement at Palace

than with Spurs over the coming seasons.

Middlesbrough have one of the most

successful youth systems in England at

present with a number of academy players

graduating to the fi rst team. Chairman Steve

Gibson fully endorsed the views of Jordan,

highlighting how players such as Bostock

come along only rarely and clubs need to be

reimbursed adequately for the loss of these

players in order to cover the costs of funding

the academies.

In 2006 Leeds United Chairman Ken Bates

reported his former club Chelsea to the

authorities when he claimed they tapped

up England Uner-16 players Michael Woods

and Tom Taiwo. Bates wanted Leeds to be

properly reimbursed for the players who

had been with them for all their careers

previously. Chelsea were said to have initially

offered an insulting fee of just £200,000.

Bates described this as insulting and you

can understand why. If Chelsea believe these

players may potentially be good enough

to play for a club competing for Premier

League and Champions League then how

can this be right?

A settlement believed to be around £4M

caused Leeds to drop their action but not all

clubs in the lower leagues may have the legal

nous or the fi nancial capabilities to pursue

such cases.

Much emphasis has been placed on the

role of agents and also parents with regards

to such transfers. From the outside looking in

it is easy to criticise these people closest to

the young players for seeing the £ signs and

putting their interests fi rst but is this really

the case? Most of the players themselves will

have dreams and aspirations to play at the

top level and when the big clubs do show

an interest the temptation must be almost

irresistible with the question of what if such

an opportunity never arises again doubtless

to be playing on the minds of all concerned.

Theo Walcott, snapped up by Arsenal at

the age of just 16 is another whose career

may have been stalled by the bright lights of

the big boys. While Southampton did receive

a good fee for his transfer the player may

have benefi tted from gaining more league

experience before making his move. This is a

tricky one to evaluate given Arsenal’s record

of nurturing young talent under Arsene

Wenger but having joined the Guners in

January 2006 he did not make a 1st team

appearance for them that season and has

only made a total of 16 league starts in the

following two seasons.

The big four already hold a massive

advantage in the transfer market in terms

of fi nances and prestige with the lure of

Champions League football to boot, what

chance do the rest have of competing if

they have no hope of holding onto their

own players?

Surely our domestic leagues, the players

themselves and our national team would

benefi t more if there was legislation in place

to prevent the top clubs from poaching the

best young talent. The players would get

more competitive matches under their belts,

which would aid development, the smaller

clubs would benefi t from being able to fi eld

the youngsters and the national teams at

all levels would be able to better assess the

youngsters with regards to selection if the are

playing competitively.

The selection of Theo Walcott in the

2006 World Cup squad was met with shock

by the media due to the fact he had not

played a competitive game in the 5 months

since signing for Arsenal. Had he stayed at

Southampton and continued to produce

outstanding displays or even joined a smaller

IN 2006 LEEDS UNITED CHAIRMAN KEN BATES REPORTED HIS FORMER CLUB CHELSEA TO THE AUTHORITIES WHEN HE CLAIMED THEY TAPPED UP ENGLAND UNER-16 PLAYERS MICHAEL WOODS AND TOM TAIWO. BATES WANTED LEEDS TO BE PROPERLY REIMBURSED FOR THE PLAYERS WHO HAD BEEN WITH THEM FOR ALL THEIR CAREERS PREVIOUSLY.

FF_MisspentYouth.indd 20 13/10/08 13:13:41


Ryan Giggs early in his United career

Is Palace’s wonder kid next?

Should he have left or stayed to gain valuable first team experience?

Robinho: Premiership’s

most expensive

Premier League side and played his part then

maybe his selection would have been justifi ed

and Eriksson might then have been more

inclined to play him as a result.

SO WHAT CAN BE DONE TO ALTER THIS SITUATION? One extreme measure would be to prevent the

transfer of academy produced players before

the age of 18 or even 21, regardless of the

contracts held, unless the two clubs involved

can agree on the fee. This would prevent the

need for tribunals, which nearly always come in

for criticism when making such decisions and

allow the 1st teams of the clubs that develop

the talent to benefi t from being able to fi eld

these players for a number of years.

This would perhaps also help to bring

back a feeling of community between clubs

and fans which has been all but lost at the

top level in these days when footballers are

millionaires and are out of touch with those

that idolise them. By having local kids staying

and playing for the clubs they have grown up

with then professional clubs could foster a

closer relationship with their fans through this.

This would also allow the clubs to maintain

the opportunity to sell the youngsters for

an agreed price if they so feel. While it is

diffi cult to assess in hindsight whether or

not Theo Walcott would have benefi tted

from playing more competitive football over

the past couple of years there is little doubt

that Southampton would be in dire fi nancial

trouble had they not had the opportunity to

sell the likes of Walcott and Gareth Bale at

this stage so this option needs to be available.

While this is an issue that has been

highlighted by some recent moves

as discussed, it is by no means a new

phenomenon. As a prime example,

Manchester United legend Ryan Giggs was

fi rst spotted at a professional level in his early

teens by Manchester City but was snapped

up by the Red devils just a year later.

FF_MisspentYouth.indd 21 13/10/08 13:13:58


THERE’S NOTHING LIKE A GOOD...

PUB QUIZ

PUB QUIZ

EASY QUESTIONS 1 POINT

Name the 3 Premiership

clubs that where relegated

last year?

Who did Barcelona

sign Ronaldinho from?

What nationality is

Mark Hughes?

Who did Ronaldo

play for before

Manchester United?

Who is currently the

world most expensive player?

AVERAGE QUESTIONS 3 POINTS

Who did Real Madrid

pay £23 million for in

1998, then a world record?

Who did England lose

to on their last game at

the “Old” Wembley?

What club did

Peter Crouch sign his

fi rst professional

contract with?

What was the name

of Ebbsfl eet FC before

My Football Club

purchased them?

ANSWER THE QUESTIONS BELOW AND SEE HOW YOU GET ON!

FF_Pub_Quiz_Rev.indd 22 13/10/08 13:16:54

ISSUE 1 FOOTBALL FRIENDS 23ISSUE 1 FOOTBALL FRIENDS 23ISSUE 1 FOOTBALL FRIENDS

BONUS ROUND - EXTREMELY DIFFICULT 5 POINTS

Which Country won the fi rst

Football World Cup in 1930?

Who is the only player to be

substituted in an international match

at Wembley to be replaced by his

brother?

Which player won league

championship winners medals in

consecutive seasons with three

different clubs?

DIFFICULT QUESTIONS

5 POINTS

What two clubs did Ian

Wright have unsuccessful trials

with before signing for Palace?

What Championship side

did David Beckham go on loan to

when starting his career at United?

What two clubs did Pele play for in

his illustrious career?

ANSWER THE QUESTIONS BELOW AND SEE HOW YOU GET ON!

How many games was Arsenal

unbeaten for when they where

dubbed the “unbeatables”?

how did you score? SEE PAGE 29 FOR ANSWERS

0-2 Points = no one

3-8 Points = Minger

9-18 Points = Average

19+ Points = Wag

FF_Pub_Quiz_Rev.indd 23 13/10/08 13:17:29


SO NOW YOU KNOW...

NAME: Chris Kamara

AGE: 51

POSITION: Sky Sports Pundit

VALUE: Soccer Saturdays wouldn’t be the same without him

PREVIOUS CLUBS: Pompey / Stoke / Bradford

GREATEST MOMENT: On 1 April 2007, as an April Fools joke, Kamara announced that his time as presenter of Goals on Sunday had come to an end, and that he had signed a contract to become fi rst-team manager at Bradford City - while not earning as much money as he did with Sky, he claimed that he was doing it for the love, not the money. Legend!

EGG ON YOUR FACE: Don’t think he has had one…

FF PREDICATION: Will become a sky sports legend, up there with Andy Gray

FF_Kamara.indd 24 13/10/08 13:58:43


WHAT IF?WHAT IF?

WHERE WOULD THEY BE NOW IF A CAREER IN FOOTBALL HAD FALLEN THROUGH? BY TOM WOERNDL

ROY KEANECAN YOU SEE KEANO as anything

other than a softly-spoken doorman

with a bite much worse than his bark?

He’d be the kind of bouncer who “says

something once and once only”.

Any backchat when entering the

nightclub and you’d be picking up your

teeth from the curb on Keano’s watch.

Just remember what he did to Alf-Inge

Haland, who barely played again after

that infamous tackle in 2001.

Keano’s quiet, incomprehensible Irish

accent would also be well-suited

to some very particular acting

roles. The ‘gipsy’ from Guy

Ritchie’s fi lm Snatch was a

hard-nosed character, but

one played by the less-

so-hard Brad Pitt. If Keano

took the role there would be

no need for boxing tutelage or

language lessons. Roy is a ready-

made package of anger, surliness,

lighting-fast Irish jibber-jabber, plus a

sophisticated knowledge of Romany

and Traveller history.

ARSENEWENGERTHE ARSENAL BOSS is certainly

‘top dog’ in this list. He most

probably commands an IQ higher

than the combined intellect of the

other three, and as such it would

seem realistic to propose that, if

he were not in football, Wenger

would likely be running some

successful business based on his

Arsenal model: Don’t spend too

much money; invest in youth;

have a regimented pay-structure;

and produce one of the best

products in the country.

But, Wenger’s Gallic charm

may also predispose him to a

more magnifi cent line of work.

As a celebrated poet, Arsene

would be famed for his beautiful,

fl uid prose, with fastidious

attention to detail in his work.

His most famous piece – ‘Ode to

Adebayor’ – would be a lustful

portrayal of a giant Togolese

striker that comes to save a

famous London football team

after the death of King Henry.

His command of adoring

language would also give Wenger

a good leg-up into a career as an

international playboy. After all,

they do say “it’s always the quiet

ones”.

something once and once only”.

Any backchat when entering the

nightclub and you’d be picking up your

teeth from the curb on Keano’s watch.

Just remember what he did to Alf-Inge

Haland, who barely played again after

that infamous tackle in 2001.

Keano’s quiet, incomprehensible Irish

accent would also be well-suited

to some very particular acting

roles. The ‘gipsy’ from Guy

Ritchie’s fi lm Snatch was a

so-hard Brad Pitt. If Keano

took the role there would be

no need for boxing tutelage or

language lessons. Roy is a ready-

made package of anger, surliness,

lighting-fast Irish jibber-jabber, plus a

sophisticated knowledge of Romany

ones”.

FF_WhatIf_Alt.indd 25 13/10/08 13:22:21


WHAT IF?

WAYNE ROONEYON THE FACE OF IT WAZZA looks pretty dim. His

burly stature and drastically receding hairline most

likely suggest that, in another life, Wayne would toil

away for little reward.

With a heavy Scouse twang, and limited people

skills (as demonstrated by verbal tirades at referees,

opposing players and even teammates) it’s possible

to imagine Rooney carving out his formative years

at a McDonald’s outlet in Birkenhead.

He’d start off as an abusive upstart

with no respect for authority,

before mellowing into a treasured

employee, and an eventually a

franchisee.

Then again, let’s not forget this

guy’s temper! Perhaps Wayne

would be better suited to a job

where he’s out in the fresh air,

working his fi ngers to

the bone?

As a lumberjack, Wayne

would be able to cultivate his

manly ginger stubble, don his

favourite check-shirt, and shout

loud obscenities without Allan

Whiley issuing him a yellow card.

Interestingly, though, in either

of these jobs it’s still possible to

picture Coleen by his side, as a

dutiful (if slightly chavvy) wife.

STEVE McCLAREN UNLIKE WENGER, MACCA IS NO cultural chameleon.

While Arsene skilfully commands three languages,

FC Twente’s new boss can hardly manage his

mother tongue.

Anyone who’s winced through his infamous interview

with Dutch television – when he adopted a strangely

continental accent – will realise that Macca is certainly

no academic scholar.

More realistic for McClaren would be an honest,

northern job – perhaps as a chirpy milkman, always

sporting an inane grin at 4.30 in the morning. He’s

got the history of a bit of “how’s your father” on the

side as well.

Hark back to April 2006, and you may remember

that, shortly before his appointment as England boss,

Macca divulged a string of romantic hotel trysts with

his secretary during a three-

month fl ing.

But, try as you might, it’s

hard to imagine McClaren as

a rampant lover. He’s more

suited to the role of a nice

guy that always fi nishes last

with the ladies. Macca’s the

sort of bloke who’s forever

the optimist, but just

always fails with women,

who go for better-looking,

more rock-and-roll guys like

Slaven Bilic.

to imagine Rooney carving out his formative years

at a McDonald’s outlet in Birkenhead.

He’d start off as an abusive upstart

with no respect for authority,

before mellowing into a treasured

employee, and an eventually a

Then again, let’s not forget this

guy’s temper! Perhaps Wayne

would be better suited to a job

where he’s out in the fresh air,

As a lumberjack, Wayne

would be able to cultivate his

manly ginger stubble, don his

favourite check-shirt, and shout

loud obscenities without Allan

Whiley issuing him a yellow card.

Interestingly, though, in either

of these jobs it’s still possible to

picture Coleen by his side, as a

dutiful (if slightly chavvy) wife.

Hark back to April 2006, and you may remember

that, shortly before his appointment as England boss,

Macca divulged a string of romantic hotel trysts with

his secretary during a three-

But, try as you might, it’s

hard to imagine McClaren as

a rampant lover. He’s more

suited to the role of a nice

guy that always fi nishes last

with the ladies. Macca’s the

sort of bloke who’s forever

always fails with women,

who go for better-looking,

more rock-and-roll guys like

FF_WhatIf_Alt.indd 26 13/10/08 13:23:48

It’s a fantastical premise of course, and

having passed up the poisoned chalice

last November we will probably never

get to see Jose Mourinho as England

manager. But if we did, what kind of team

would he pick, and could he succeed where

so many have failed?

Judging by his tactics at Porto and

Chelsea, it’s hard to imagine the Portuguese

would make England easy on the eye.

Mourinho favours a defensive 4-1-4-1

formation, with a deep holding midfi elder

providing cover to his centre-halves, and a

lone striker supported from deep by two

wide players. It’s not pretty.

He deployed Michael Essien in the holding

role at Chelsea, and would probably ask

Owen Hargreaves to do the job for his

England team. Finding a striker capable

of emulating Didier Drogba would pose a

greater problem.

Michael Owen lacks the physicality

to succeed alone, and Wayne Rooney’s

creativity would be wasted leading the line.

On current form, West Ham’s Dean Ashton

would get the nod - with Rooney and Joe

Cole deployed as wide midfi elders.

In central midfi eld, Mourinho would

IT’S JUNE 2010 AND ENGLAND ARE PREPARING FOR THE WORLD CUP IN SOUTH AFRICA. THE MEDIA FRENZY IS IN OVERDRIVE AND MOST OF THE ATTENTION IS FOCUSED ON ONE MAN - THE MAN THEY USED TO CALL ‘THE SPECIAL ONE’


IT’S JUNE 2010 AND ENGLAND ARE PREPARING FOR THE WORLD CUP IN SOUTH AFRICA. THE MEDIA FRENZY IS IN OVERDRIVE AND MOST OF THE ATTENTION IS FOCUSED ON ONE MAN - THE MAN THEY USED TO CALL ‘THE SPECIAL ONE’

JOSE FOR ENGLAND?

PROFILE

Lamps: first on the team sheet

unquestionably pick Frank Lampard - a

player he once called the best in the world

and may ultimately lure to Internazionale.

Judging by his thwarted attempts to link

the pair at Stamford Bridge, Steven Gerrard

would line up alongside him.

The back four picks itself, and until Ben

Foster is playing regularly at Manchester

United David James would start in goal.

Mourinho’s England would be supremely

organised, swarming midfi eld to contain their

opposition and getting 10 players behind

the ball whenever possible. They would wear

teams down and shut down slender leads

with ruthless effi ciency. In all likelihood, they

would win tournaments.

The conundrum for England’s long-

suffering fans is whether coming fi rst would

be worth the sacrifi ce of fl air and adventure.

Having said that, when is the last time

England played with fl air and adventure?

Mourinho’s England team (4-1-4-1): David James, Micah Richards, Rio Ferdinand,

John Terry, Ashley Cole, Owen Hargreaves,

Wayne Rooney, Frank Lampard, Steven

Gerrard, Joe Cole, Dean Ashton

FF_Mourinho.indd 27 13/10/08 13:32:47

28 FOOTBALL FRIENDS ISSUE 128 FOOTBALL FRIENDS ISSUE 1

AS AN ARSENAL FAN I can afford to feel pretty content with

the setup with the state of my teams youth development

system, however, as a coach the overall state of this

aspect of our national game causes me great concern.

Clubs, including those considered to have established

infrastructures and suffi cient investment, all discard young

individuals who are deemed not to have the necessary core

skills without development work being done with them on

an individual basis.

There is a worrying laissez faire attitude adopted by

the vast majority of youth setups that leaves youngsters

without any investment in aspects of their game that

could be improved or guidance on how this could be done

themselves.

A prime example of this is the way in which a raw and

unorthodox Peter Crouch was released from Spurs for

£60,000 because his style and qualities did not fall within

what was deemed the typical. It was easier to cash in than

take a risk and build upon the qualities he had, leaving that

to others.

Unless the youth academies rid themselves of their

current obsession with a generic group of players all having

the same core skill set, and actually embrace individuals and

the ability to work with them to maximise potential, a huge

number of players will be prematurely discarded. This is

something our game just can’t afford to happen.

CRAIG BUDGE, ARSENAL FAN

Got something on your mind that you want to share with the nation? Well here is your opportunity to

have your say, send in your pictures, jokes, banter, chants, rants, what ever you want it’s your page! Visit www.footballfriends.org.uk now for details

2828 FOOTBALL FRIENDSFOOTBALL FRIENDS ISSUE 1 ISSUE 1

CRAIG BUDGE, ARSENAL FAN

JENAS HE’S LIKE MARMITE - YOU EITHER LOVE HIM OR YOU HATE HIM.

I like most spurs fans has gone the last 2 or 3 seasons slating Jenas. “What is he doing” and “I’d rather sub him for no one” come to mind when I think about Jenas and the fact he is the worst free kick taker ever goes without saying but from last season onwards I am having a change of heart. He scored two goals in the CC semi fi nial against arsenal which took us to our fi rst fi nal in years and without his great performance in both games we would not be in Europe now (how I do wish he played like that every week.) I just think that we should lay of Jenas a bit, I admit yes he makes mistakes what spurs player doesn’t everyone still sang Robbo’s name when he was having a mare but yet Jenas gets so much stick. Jenas works hard for us, you do notice when he isn’t playing (not in a good way) and I believe he does try his best for us. So I for one am going to try and be positive about him. Well that probably is until the next game when I’ll be saying every swear word under the sun to do with Jenas. COME ON YOU SPURS!!!FRANCESCA, SPURS FAN

MAN CITY MUST BE HAVING A LAUGH

if they think they can be a big as us,

richest club in the world…lol who cares

only money grabbers will go there, can’t

see the likes of Ronaldo, Kaka, Fabregas

going there, can you? I must admit with

Hughes there, they are indeed going

places, 4th place is always up for grabs

with Arsenal, Chelsea and us securing

the top 3, don’t fancy Liverpool’s

chances with Benitez in charge. Will

be interesting to see what happens in

January, but I wouldn’t get to optimistic

City, I hope you get a left back in

because Ball is shocking!

ADAM SMITH, MAN UTD FAN

FF_FansRev.indd 28 13/10/08 13:01:15


JOKES

CHANTS

APRIL 2008 BOOTHFERRY PARK

FROM BOOTHFERRY TO WEMBLEY…

THAT’S WHAT US HULL FANS used to sing but oddly still do! Why? We no

longer play at Boothferry Park, we never did play at Wembley whilst there

and only won promotion a handful of times when Boothferry Park was home,

the main accolade in the 17 years I was going there was winning ‘Best pitch’,

success and Boothferry weren’t great acquaintances.

Yet in just over 5 years at the Kingston Communications Stadium

we’ve seen Ian Ashbee captain us to 3 promotions and our fi rst Wembley

appearance securing our seminal season amongst English footballs elite.

My point? A home we love, that’s brought us a winning team, that’s not

just got the monkeys but the gorillas off our back of never having achieved

either of the above, lacks identity. Sentiment rules hence we still sing about a

derelict ground…

Blatantly we’re not the only ones affected. How do you convey your fl ights

of passion for the ‘Emirates’? Your hunger for the ‘Walkers’? And what

do Bradford fans compose about their panefully named ‘Coral Windows

stadium?’ Still, must be nice to take a break at York’s Kit Kat Crescent…

Don’t get me wrong; as a Hull fan I’m an advocate of change and

commercialisation’s been a saviour to many clubs. But a ground new or old

should have a name to embody the location and be known as such.

Middlesbrough’s ground is by a river, (well nearer a dock). Cellnet may have

tried to muscle in, but it will always be The Riverside to The Boro. What do

you call the Reebok and JJB once the sponsorship expires? Locals may

have a name for their grounds beyond the veneer bestowed on them by

the patriarchs, but the damage is done.

With foreign investment ubiquitous, what’s to

stop team names or even the towns and cities

in which the teams play from changing? Abu

Dhabi Utd already sounds like a football

team, no wonder Robinho was confused

about who he’d signed for.

Franchises are already a threat; the

dawn of the MK Dons in 2004 underlining

this. We don’t want our football clubs to

become like pub chains and be settling

down to Walkabout Wanderers vs. Albion

Bar One on Match of the Day.

LIVERPOOL THE MOST SUCCESSFUL TEAM IN

BRITAIN, with Man Utd hot on our tail especially

in the number of league titles won, the time has

come for Rafa to deliver a title this season. He’s

had money to spend and hopefully he’s spent it

right to bring title back to Anfi eld. Man Utd are

over rated, Arsenal can’t hack tough games and

not too worried about Chelsea. The most famous

club in the world for the title...Liverpool!!!!

PAUL SIGN, LIVERPOOL FAN

TOTTENHAM TEAM PHOTO

With foreign investment ubiquitous, what’s to

stop team names or even the towns and cities

in which the teams play from changing? Abu

LIVERPOOL THE MOST SUCCESSFUL TEAM IN

BRITAIN,

in the number of league titles won, the time has

come for Rafa to deliver a title this season. He’s

had money to spend and hopefully he’s spent it

right to bring title back to Anfi eld. Man Utd are

over rated, Arsenal can’t hack tough games and

not too worried about Chelsea. The most famous

club in the world for the title...Liverpool!!!!

PAUL SIGN, LIVERPOOL FAN

Rafa Benitez was

wheeling his shopping

trolley across the

supermarket car park

when he noticed an old

lady struggling with her

bags of shopping. He stopped

and asked, “Can you manage dear?”

to which the old lady replied, “no

way you got yourself into this mess,

don’t ask me to sort it out!”

Q: What has Old Trafford on a

Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm

got in common with Wormwood

Scrubs Prison?

A: They are both full of cockneys

trying to get out.

Stoke City are being predicted to

stay in the Premiership for three

seasons. Autumn, Winter, Spring!

A man without a ticket scales the

walls of Wembley to watch a cup

fi nal, about 5 minutes before the

KO he looks around for a spare

seat, he sees one next to an old

bloke. He asks the old bloke if the

seat is taken, ‘no’ says the man,

‘it was my wife’s but she died, we

have been watching the cup fi nal

every year for the past 35 years,

same seats every year, sit down you

can have the seat’. After a short

while the man says to the old bloke

‘did you not have any friend or

relative who would have like your

wife’s seat’, ‘Oh yes’ said the old

man, ‘but they are all at her funeral’

Richard Branson has been asked

to sponsor Spurs, but has declined

saying “I can’t have Virgin written on

the shirts of a team thats

gonna get F*cked every

week, now can I??”

Scolari Whoa o,

Phil Scolari Whoa o

o o o,

He’s Blue, he’s

Chelsea, he’s blue,

And were gonna f**k up Man U.

Cesc Fabregas you’re the love

of my life,

Oh Cesc Fabregas I’d let you

sh*g my wife,

Oh Cesc Fabregas your Arsenal

through and through,

And you hate Man U.

EASY ANSWERS1. Derby, Birmingham, Reading2. PSG3. Welsh4. Sporting Lisbon5. Zidane

AVERAGE ANSWERS1. Denilson 2. Germany3. Spurs4. Gravesend5. 49

DIFFICULT ANSWERS1. Southend United and Brighton2. Preston North End3. Santos and New York Cosmos

EXTREMELY DIFFICULT ANSWERS1. Uruguay2. David O’Leary3. Eric Cantona: 1991 Ligue 1 with 1. Olympique de Marseille, 1992 1st Division with Leeds United and 1993 Premiership with Manchester United

PUB QUIZANSWERS

FF_FansRev.indd 29 13/10/08 13:04:22

IF YOU COULD PICK YOUR ULTIMATE

PREMIERSHIP TEAM with the current

Premiership stars who would you

have? Thinking like a manager, you need

to consider a team who will complement

one another, fi nd a balance and does

your team of world beaters have the right

blend of youth and experience. You always

hear from irritated fans that they don’t

like their team’s style of football, so what

kind of football would you have them play,

effi ciency or all out attack? It’s your team,

you decided. The question is would they

beat the team below…

CECH:Impossible to beat him on his day, could

easily be the best goalie in the world.

RICHARDS:If he can stay injury free he has the

potential to be the best right back

England has seen in a long while

RIO:Just such a reliable and classy

centre half

TERRY:Every world class team needs there Lion

heart and JT would be mine

CLICHY:Don’t think I have ever seem him

be skinned?

RONALDO:Simply world class

FABREGAS:Just oozes quality with his vision

and passing

ESSIEN:Every world class team needs a hard

man in the middle, Essien fi ts that bills

J COLE:Maybe he isn’t your nature left winger,

but is so creative on the ball

ROONEY: I love his passion and commitment

TORRES:With Rooney doing all the running he

would be free to do what he does best,

score!

Manager: Wenger

Subs: Van Der Sar, Carragher, O’ Shea,

Diarra, Gerrard, Young, Adebayor.


FF elevenone another, fi nd a balance and does

your team of world beaters have the right

blend of youth and experience. You always

hear from irritated fans that they don’t

like their team’s style of football, so what

kind of football would you have them play,

effi ciency or all out attack? It’s your team,

you decided. The question is would they

beat the team below…

CECH:Impossible to beat him on his day, could

easily be the best goalie in the world.

RICHARDS:If he can stay injury free he has the

potential to be the best right back

JOSE FOR ENGLAND?

With Arsene at the reins this team would

gilde pass there opposition as if they

wasn’t there. The fast tempo would suit

the likes of Ronaldo and Cole, who would

be free to terrorise the opposing full backs,

with the comfort they have strong and

quick full backs to cover them as they

make there surging runs. How many goals

would this team concede? Not many! With

the all mighty Cech in between the sticks

and the deadly duo of Rio and Terry to

cover any strike force in the world, I would

fancy our chances. Would any wingers in

the WORLD fancy their chances against

Richards or Clichy? With Fabregas pulling

the strings in the middle of the park, Essien

will do what he does best and dominate

the middle with his pace and strong tackle.

With the supply from Fabregas, Cole and

Ronaldo, Torres and Rooney would score

an absolute bag full of goals.

Every team has an off day, so easily could

this team of all stars. If such an event would

occur we would have a vast array of talents

a waiting in the wings. Depending on the

type of game, Gerrard, Young or Adebayor

would be a worthy replacement. Defending

a lead would require the defensive duties of

O’Shea or Diarra. An injury to a defender

wouldn’t be too much of a scare with

Carragher eagerly awaiting on the side

who would comfortably slot into any part

of the defence. With the ever reliable Van

Der Sar awaiting an injury to Cech. I hope

for all our sakes that Mark Hughes isn’t

reading this!

IF YOU COULD PICK YOUR ULTIMATE

FF FF eleveneleven With Arsene at the reins this team would

gilde pass there opposition as if they

wasn’t there. The fast tempo would suit

the likes of the likes of RonaldoRonaldo and and ColeCole, who would , who would

be free to terrorise the opposing full backs,

with the comfort they have strong and

quick full backs to cover them as they

FF eleven

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