focal event - patch # 1

8/2/2019 Focal Event - PATCH # 1

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Focal Event

Introduction

Personal change is a reflection of our inner growth and empowerment."

Robert E. Quinn

Personal change can occur at an intellectual and emotional level and can be described by

processes or stages. By monitoring these changes, one can pin point exactly where they are,

what they have achieved and also how they plan to move forward.

The individual change process consists of five stages as seen below that culminates into the

internalization of change from which personal growth can be achieved.

Scenario

The scenario commences with a relationship between a young man and the author both

successful in their respective fields, healthy and married. However infidelity upon the part of the

man led to a swift decline of a once fruitful relationship. Eventually the relationship dwindled, the

man moved on but the author could not.

Negative Emotion

The author whose personality is somewhat reminiscent of an external locus of control could not

adapt to the sudden change. The transformation from being in a serious committed relationship

to being single was overwhelming, causing resentment towards men to engross her. This

proved detrimental towards the authors career as she was a Security equipment product

specialist with 99 % of her daily interactions involving men be it co workers or customers. Even

though the entire situation had changed as well as the environment around, the feelings of

resentment could not.

Focal Event

Due to an impeccable past record a promotion to technical manager was issued by the

managers unbeknownst to the present conditions. Instead of a smooth transition to the new role

a kaleidoscope of feelings washed over the author: anger, disgust, hate and resentment

because now responsibilities included supervising a team of 18 men. Avoidance behavior

became prominent as it resulted in cancellation of meetings and site visits.


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This hindrance became more and more noticeable to co-workers. The general lack of decorum

and well as communication made the author extremely difficult to work with. Customers began

complaining to the managers about quality of service, the technicians (co- workers) began

avoiding the author and even family noticed a downward spiral.

The last straw came when the divisional manager (a male) decided to hold a meeting.. He

explained that the company was in awe as to how one of their best and brightest who in their

mind was perceived as the best candidate was failing miserably. Further probing by the

manager who was also a personal friend resulted in the author feeling shocked. The author had

not realized the extremes to which previous behavioral patterns had been altered and the ripple

effect it caused. The focal event acted as a rude awakening to the author.

The Public Declaration of Intent

Tears engulfed the author as the sordid love affair was recalled amidst sobs. The incident jolted

a screen memory ofall the hurt and resentment of the past being transferred into the present.

By admitting this truth to the manager the author has gained acceptance of the issue and also

sees the need to change both for oneself as well as the future of the authors career. By publicly

admitting this fault to management the reasoning was deciphered as to the poor performance of

the author as well as fellow co-workers.

The Inner Journey

The author realizing that functionality at work was nearly impossible due to all the personal

changes being made a sabbatical was taken. The author arrived at the crystallization of

discontent where it was surmised that the behavioral patterns exuded could be described as

transference relationships whereby present actions were being significantly influenced by the

past.

A guidance counselor was sought during the sabbatical period that assisted the author through

the emotional roller coaster. The interpersonal conflict affected the author subconsciously and it

manifested itself through interactions at work and at home. The author gained self realization

that the current mind frame was detrimental to ones lifestyle and was not conducive to change.

Internalization of the change.

The sabbatical offered the author the luxury to do some soul searching and realize what was

important. Throughout the entire process the author bore the emotional burden alone excluding


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not only the workforce but family as well. By changing this approach a support system was built.

The managers at work understood this was a sensitive time for the author and that the sudden

promotion could not yield a smooth transition, the family understood the authors dilemma and

offered advice and support. The author learnt the pathway that leads to a resilient and joyful life

is grounded in radical self-acceptance

Conclusion

The entire scenario upon reflection was an arduous and emotional time for the author. If given

the opportunity to improve anything it would have been to inform the managers of the issue

rather than let personal issues sidetrack performance in the workplace. The author also learnt

how important it is to understand and accept ones fault in order to successfully understand and

initiate any change.


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Bibliography

1) Kets de Vries, M.F.R. 2011. Reflections on Groups and Organisations: On the Couch

with Manfred Kets de Vries. England: Jossey- Bass Imprint.: Wiley Publishing.

2) Kets de Vries, M. F. R., Balazs K. 1999. Beyond the quick fix: The psychodynamics of

organizational transformation and change. European Management Journal. Vol # 1.

(Issue 5) Pages 611-622

3) Emmons H. 2011.Creating Pathways to Resilience: The Whole Person Change Process.

Psychology Today. [online] Feb 6.

Available at: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-chemistry-calm/201102/creating-

pathways-resilience-the-whole-person-change-process

[Accessed at 10 March 2012]
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-chemistry-calm/201102/creating-pathways-resilience-the-whole-person-change-processhttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-chemistry-calm/201102/creating-pathways-resilience-the-whole-person-change-processhttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-chemistry-calm/201102/creating-pathways-resilience-the-whole-person-change-processhttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-chemistry-calm/201102/creating-pathways-resilience-the-whole-person-change-process

focal event - patch # 1

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