flower man

8/14/2019 Flower Man

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F L O W E R M A NBy Harry Kyriakodis

The three department heads and secretary hushed as Mr. Floret entered theboardroom. "Good morning, everybody," he began. "As it's past eleven and I'm

meeting Mrs. Floret for lunch, let's make this a quick meeting and finish before noon."Buddy Floret was one of the richest men in the flower business. His Manhattan-

based company, 'Blooms-For-You,' had outsold its rivals the past two years andseemed relentless in its pursuit of profits. The company was built on fierce--sometimesruthless--competition with other flower companies, as well as the hard marketing andresearch skills of President Floret and his obeying staff.

"Before I ask for your departmental reports, I'd like to explain again my newcorporate vision for 'Blooms-For-You'. Most of you are already working towards thisgoal, but I want to clarify it a little."

They all nodded in eager agreement.

"You are all aware that we can no longer be satisfied with the yearly Mother's dayand Christmas flower seasons. Also, thanks to our heavy advertising these past fewyears, the usual birthday and anniversary flower markets have basically peaked, with noway of becoming more profitable than they are already. And having more or lessinvented Secretary's day years ago, we've pretty much exploited it as much as possible.Are you all following me?"

"Yes sir, Mr. Floret," they chimed in together.

"Now we must promote flowers in more vigorously: Flowers not only for goodoccasions, like holidays, birthdays and so on, but for bad occasions too. This includesdisasters, accidents, personal tragedies and the like. I want our company to be the very

first thing that flashes into peoples' minds when havoc strikes. Instead of sendingmoney, clothes, food, toys or whatever, people will send our flowers in time of need andemergency. Some of our recent advertising campaigns reflect this new direction, asyou well know, but these have barely scratched the surface of the potential. So, I'd likeyou all to begin thinking bad thoughts after you leave this staff meeting and how to bring'Blooms-For-You' flowers into these thoughts. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir!"

"All right, now let's move on to the usual business. Since I just mentionedadvertising, let's begin there."

"Yes, Mr. Floret," said Tom Smithson, standing to give his report. "As you know,our Persian Gulf campaign is going splendidly. Overseas flower deliveries to Kuwait areup 27% last month. It seems that our commercials showing the devastation are reallypulling peoples' heartstrings; they can't pick up the phone fast enough to send flowers tothe poor citizens of Kuwait. This is much more successful than our CaliforniaEarthquake promotion in 1989."

"Excellent, Smithson. You and your department have caught on to my ideaperfectly. What about the old standbys?"



"Well, although we're still having just fair results with the 'Roses for theHomeless' ads, the rest are doing fine, especially 'Garlands to Grandma Before SheGoes'. That's all I have for you, sir."

"Good, good. . . And Let's not forget about marketing on the Internet. Suchmarket potential... Now Perkins, what's happening in R & D?"

"Sir," John Perkins began enthusiastically, "we're currently looking intosomething new and amazing, which I have dubbed 'Everlasters': a line of real flowersthat never brown or loose their fragrance after they're cut. . ."

Gasps escaped throughout the boardroom. "What did you say, Perkins," askedthe president rising from his chair a bit.

"We're developing real flowers that will never turn brown or stop smelling nice,"replied Mr. Perkins uneasily. "Wouldn't it be wonderful to produce beautiful. . ."

"No, no, Perkins. Kill that project immediately. What Research and developmentshould be doing is finding ways to speed up the decay of flowers--after they're sold, of

course. I want flowers to start going bad the moment customers leave the store, sothey will buy more flowers from us to replace them!"

"Yes, Mr. Floret," said Perkins with a lump in his throat. "We'll look into thatimmediately."

"Fine, fine. What about the 'Roadkill' program?"

"Well," Perkins continued meekly, "from what we've learned so far, local policeand accident investigators aren't very happy with the idea of us quickly deliveringflowers to accident victims at the scene of the accident--even though the flowers arefree. They say it would be better to take the flowers to the hospital or the victim's homeinstead. Do you approve this change, sir?"

"Very well," Mr. Floret said. Speaking to the entire staff, he went on: "As youmay know, my aim with 'Roadkill' is to promote our company with the families andfriends of accident victims. Do you see the amount of business this simple idea couldgenerate?"

"Yes sir, Mr. Floret!" they exclaimed.

"Fine. . . Now we'll hear from Deliveries. Mr. Williams, your report?"

"Well," started Mike Williams, "you've already heard how well overseas deliveriesare doing, especially deliveries to Kuwait. Closer to home, my department is stillworking on the '30 Minutes or Less Guarantee' program. Unfortunately, initial test

experience in this city has shown that our delivery men cannot drive their flower trucksaround safely while trying to meet this thirty minute deadline. It might be best to changethe promotion to 'One hour or less'. Do I have your okay for this?"

"No, not at all, Williams. I want this delivery guarantee to be just like the pizzacompany's: Thirty minutes or less or else three dollars off the order price. I want thecustomer to be able to send flowers to anyone anywhere in the country when somethinggoes bad or wrong--in 30 minutes or less. Tell our drivers they must drive both fast andcarefully. They'll be just fine."



"Very well, Mr. Floret. I'll see to it. That's all from me today."

"Good. This meeting was short indeed. Now remember what I said: think of newways to promote 'Blooms-For-You' products, especially in cases of accidents, disasters,etcetera. We'll discuss any ideas at next week's meeting."

"Yes sir," they replied while collecting their papers."Have you got this all down, Ms. Hewet?" he asked his secretary.

"Yes I do," she replied. "Fine. I'm meeting my wife for lunch and I want to getthere early, so I'll be leaving straight from here. Take my calls until I get back."

"No problem, Mr. Floret."

* * * *

The president then left the downtown 'Blooms-For-You' office building. Then, justas he was crossing the street a block away, Mr. Floret was struck and knockedunconscious by a speeding truck.

* * * *

Buddy Floret awoke in the hospital room surrounded by both flowers and a bodycast. "Nurse, nurse," he called.

"Why Mr. Floret, you've awakened," the cheerful nurse sang as she entered the

room."I itch all over," he said weakly. "In fact, I hurt all over, too."

"That's very understandable, considering the nature of your injuries. You're afortunate man, however. You've only got broken bones--lots of broken bones. But thedoctors say you'll recover fully."

"What happened?" he asked. "Please tell me."

"Well, the paramedics say you were hit by a truck while crossing the street. Thiswas a little over an hour ago."

"I was hit. . . an hour ago. . ." He looked around slowly at the room full of flowers.

"Who visited me?""Nobody yet, I'm sorry. These are all from the 'Blooms-For-You' Flower

Company. Look," and she held out a tag for him to see. "I never saw so many flowers.Can you believe they all got here before you did?"

"Why yes, I can," he stated proudly. "That's my company."



"Oh, I see. You poor man! This is not your day, is it? You must not have beenpaying attention when you were crossing the street. With that earthquake in Californiadestroying your buildings. . ."

"What?!"

Just then, another shipment of flowers arrived for Mr. Floret. A 'Blooms-For-You'delivery man brought in a handcart loaded with lovely bouquets for his ailing boss.

"I hope you're not feeling too bad, sir," he said, taking off his company hat. "Mostof these flowers are from the boys and me at Manhattan delivery. We're so very sorrythat Cromwell hit you with his truck. He was rushing a shipment to this very hospitalwhen it happened. You'd think he was delivering flowers to you before you got here,heh heh." The attempt at humor was met with a look of disbelief from Mr. Floret. "Well,he's not working for you anymore. . ."

"I was hit by one of my own delivery trucks?"

"Oops. . . um, I thought you knew," mumbled the driver. "I'm sorry Mr. Floret."

The man hastily put on his hat and left.Mr. Floret turned to the smiling nurse. "Is this true? One of my own trucks hit

me?"

"Well, all I know is that you were a 'road kill'--oh, pardon me, that's paramedictalk. They didn't say it was a 'Blooms-For-You' truck. What an amazing coincidence,don't you think?"

"Yes. . . amazing," he replied glumly. Then snapping to, he continued: "Nowwhat did you say about an earthquake?"

"Oh, yes. I would think you would know that the 'Blooms-For-You' complex inCalifornia was hit by a freak earthquake this morning. It was on the television news atnoon. The earthquake was centered exactly where your greenhouses and other buildings were."

"Were?"

"Oh yes. They're all as flat as pancakes now," she announced readily. "Thenews people said it was very peculiar that only your buildings were damaged, whilepeople half a mile away didn't even know there had even been an earthquake. Theycalled it the 'Gloom-For-You' disaster. Lucky it happened before the workday startedthere, or else many people would have been hurt. That's California for you. . . I'd thinkyou'd have heard about it by now."

"I had a staff meeting this morning, then left directly for lunch. I didn't know anyof this."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You must relax now. I've got to go, but call me if you needanything."

After she left, yet another shipment of flowers arrived. Three 'Blooms-For-You'delivery men brought in bunch after bunch of flowers.



Mr. Williams also arrived, followed by Mr. Smithson. "Hello, Mr. Floret," Williamssaid. How are you feeling?"

"How do you think I feel? I hurt all over."

"I'm sorry to hear that," continued Williams as he placed the bouquet he was

holding on top of other flowers on the crowded table. "This arrangement is from Tomand me, but all these deliveries are coming from 'Blooms-For-You' offices around thecountry. It will take awhile to bring them in; there are four truckloads outside and moreare on their way."

"Truckloads?"

"Yes sir. Within a half hour after the offices heard about the accident and your wife leaving you, orders came in from. . ."

"My wife leaving me!?"

"Yes, er. . . You mean. . ? Oh oh. Uh. . ." stammered the embarrassedWilliams.

"Tell me more!!"

"Well," offered Mr. Smithson, "I guess Ms. Hewet hasn't called you yet. . . Uh,Mr. Floret, I have to be blunt. It seems your wife and Mr. Perkins have been having anaffair for some time. We noticed she was visiting the office more than usual lately, butwe didn't suspect one bit that it was John Perkins of all people! He's so much younger than she is! But then again, she started dropping by more after he became head of R &D. From what we heard, she was enamored with John and the work he was doing onthose silly flowers he called 'Everlasters'. When your wife heard you were hit by a'Blooms-For-You' truck, she must have thought you had died because she stopped in atthe office and left two wreaths for you. We didn't know otherwise, so we sadly took

them. Then she and John took off for the airport with your travel account. We thoughtyou knew about all about your wife."

"No, I didn't."

"We're sorry, Mr. Floret. Er. . . we'll bring the wreath in tomorrow."

While the men were speaking, delivery men had been coming in with more andmore flowers. Soon, there was not even a place to stand in the cramped hospital room.

Eager to change the subject, Mr. Smithson examined the flowers and their tags."do you believe this, Mr. Floret? Some of these are from rival flower companies!" Hegot no response from his boss.

"Er," said Williams, "the nurse said she informed you about California. It doesn'tlook good for our Pacific production and distribution networks." Still, Mr. Floret saidnothing, but only sighed.

"Well, eh. . . We'll be getting back to the office and try to sort this mess out. Thatis, if the fire is out and the police let us through."

"What, a fire in the building?" The president instantly perked up.



"Oh, no sir," cut in Mr. Smithson. "Please take it easy. There was no fire in thebuilding." The boss relaxed with this. Smithson glanced at Williams and made a cuttingmotion across his throat with his finger, but it was too late.

"It was your Mercedes in the parking lot, sir. Somebody was trying to steal it andcrossed some wires under dash incorrectly, and the car. . . Mr. Floret? Mr. Floret?"

After a few moments, Mr. Floret murmured faintly, "I'm all right. Please, go tooffice and do what you can. I need to rest."

"Very well, sir. We'll come by tomorrow. And here come some more 'Blooms-For-You' flowers to brighten up this room and cheer you up. Good-bye Mr. Floret, andbest wishes for your recovery."

"Yes, same here, sir," said Mr. Smithson.

"So long, Tom, Mike. You're good men," President Floret called after them asthey left.

Meanwhile, delivery men were bringing flowers into the room nonstop. They ran

out of space on the tables, chairs and floor, so they started placing them on the bed inwhich Mr. Floret was laying. He was too hurt and exhausted to protest.

* * * *

Late that night, the stench of dying flowers had become too overpowering, andBuddy Floret quietly passed away in the midst of his wares.

flower man

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