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Juan M Campos

Mrs. Lillian Romero

Psychology 2314-104

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Marriage, Cohabitation and Successful Relationships

Marriage is ultimately an agreement between two people. However, marriage is more

than a mere contract; marriage is a social institution that binds two people who desire to share

their life together. Today, the point of view of marriage has changed for most, and today

marriage is not as important as it once was. Now, cohabitation is becoming more accepted

worldwide. Cohabitation is no longer seen as taboo between two people. Today its becoming

more acceptable to just live together with someone of either sex. However, whether a couples

decision is to cohabitate or get married, the couple must consider both the positive and negative

consequences of their decision. Since the relationship between individuals in a couple become

less religious and the relationship becomes secular and contractual, it becomes increasingly

difficult to determine what model, marriage or cohabitation or both, is ultimately more

successful in the end.

Cohabitation is defined as a couple living together who is not married. Since

cohabitation depends on a not married couple, then the question of what is marriage becomes

important when discussing cohabitation. So, what exactly is marriage? The definition of

marriage has changed, so the definition depends on the time and location in question. In the past,

marriage was an exchange of property, because women were property as were acquired for the

benefit of the husband. Even today in some parts of the world marriage is an exchange of


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property and so arranged when the couple is very young. As the centuries passed marriage

became more a partnership between individuals. In the 1500 and 1600 even though the marriage

ceremony was available, marriage was largely unregulated and the majority of marriages were

informal or common law marriages (Koegel 11). These marriages only required an exchange

of consent followed by consummation to be recognized by most (Outwaith2). So in many ways

Renaissance marriage is similar to todays cohabitation, however marriage then and now

involves a higher level of commitment than cohabitation. Today the government regulates

marriage. In exchange for complying with the laws of marriage, couples are given various

rights and benefits. Politicians today debate the nature of marriage, so the future definition of

cohabitation and marriage could change once again (Paul).

One reason that marriage and cohabitation laws changed is societies point of view

regarding cohabitation and marriage changed. In the past, cohabitation was considered taboo and

people who cohabitated considered sinful. Laws were placed to prevent cohabitants who

expressed a marriage like commitment to each other. Even today there are still people who hold

a negative view of cohabitation. Laws are still on the books for Florida, Michigan, Mississippi,

North Carolina, North Dakota, Virginia and West Virginia that ban cohabitation outright, though

today such laws are rarely enforced (Fields).The high point for marriage as an institution was

between the 1950s through the 1970s (Festy 1980) and marriage has been declining ever

since. Even though today there are some areas where cohabitation is viewed negatively by law,

the general trend today allows more cohabitation and less marriage. For instance, the Social

Research on Population Studies Center published statistics that show a rise in cohabitation

couples with an accompanying decrease in marriage. The U.S. Census of 2000 found almost


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five and one half million couples in the United States. (US Census 5).Yet cohabitation or

marriage sometimes fails to express commitment level of a loving couple.

Since cohabitation isnt a substitute for marriage, and also to help express the varying

commitment levels today there are alternatives to marriage and cohabitation. These alternatives

include arrangements such as domestic partnerships, civil unions and common law marriages.

These types of unions put a whole different spin on the relationships of couples, especially

between couples that are unable to marry. A disadvantage of these alternative types of unions is

they are not universally recognized. However,Texas is one of the few states that allow informal

or common-law marriage (Texas 2.401). Some couples have not choice but to follow these

types of alternative unions. Gay couples who desire a higher level of commitment than

cohabitation form domestic partnerships, registered partnerships or civil unions in states that do

not yet recognized gay marriage. No matter what form of social union a couple takes, whether

its cohabitation, civil union, common law marriage or formal marriage, all couples have their

reasons, whether economic or social, for choosing the form of their relationship.

Ultimately the couples underlying reason to be together influences the type of form their

union will take. People who wish to maintain individuality or establish their own credit or

financial arrangements choose cohabitation. Individual who are unsure if their partner is

compatible, or unsure about the commitment marriage is right for them will choose cohabitation

over marriage. Just as some couplescohabitate because they dont want to marry, some couples

that want to marry choose cohabitation for a time, usually to save money for the actual wedding.

Even elderly couples can choose cohabitation as a way to save a pension from a deceased spouse

that will surely be lost if the couple chose marriage. However Kelly Harris in a personal


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interview said that couples decide to cohabitation because they love each other since marriage

and its commitment is always the ultimate goal. (Harris).

The ethnic and socio-economic background of the individuals also has influence on a

couplesdecision to cohabitate or get married. In the United States, some studies show that

Latinos had a 59% rise in cohabitation in recent years, followed by African American with a

54% increase. Lastly, the Anglos had the lowest increase of 35%, but that is still an increase. (US

Census 12). In Europe the latitude of a couple has influences on cohabitation practices IN the

northern and Scandinavian countries cohabitation is quite common. In the middle countries like

Britain and the Netherlandscohabitation is chosen less. If the couple lives in southern Europe

such as Italy cohabitation is relatively rare (Manning 989).

Couples in good relationships usually want their relationships to last. Does cohabitation

offer the same longevity in relationships as marriage? Since cohabitation is considered having a

lesser commitment than marriage a couple that lives together should break up sooner than a

couple that is married. However there are a percentage of couples that started out as cohabitation

but ultimately do get married. The countries of northern Europe, who had a high rate of

cohabitation, have a low rate cohabitating couples getting married (Finland). In the United

States couples tend to view relationships very black and white terms, so Americans tend to either

end the relationship completely, or get married. Very few American couples maintain a long-

termrelationship through cohabitation (Johnson).

Children always affect the dynamics of a relationship and in Latin countries it is no

different. In opposition to most of Latin America, the rural areas are dominated by cohabitation.

For instance El Salvador has a 61.7% cohabitation rate in people living in the countryside. The


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children of these unions are consideredillegitimate since most Latin nations are also extremely

Catholic. In following the church these countries offer no protection to partners in cohabitation,

and mostly its the women who suffer. If the union ends these women are left with nothing to

support herself and her child, and the mother must look for alternative ways of supporting herself

and her baby. Unfortunately government help for these womenis lacking since Latin

governmentsgenerally dont recognizeunions not sanctioned by the Church. (Pinzon).

So are married people happier and cohabitants? Which form of relationship is the most

successful? Since marriage is becoming more secular with divorces granted easily,and some

couples living together become more committed since there are no other sociallyacceptableoutlet

for them, it does become difficult to tell which one is better since both, marriage and

cohabitation are looking more alike. Both marriage and cohabitation require working together

and sharing with a high level of commitment, with marriage currently having a higher

commitment than cohabitation. However any relationship will always require commitment,

love and the consent of both parties to remain together and be successful, no matter what form

those relationships may take now or in the future.

In the end it is not up to any government or scientificstudies to say what model of

commitment is more success full marriage or cohabitation. That answer belongs to people who

are living in any type of relationship. Everyone have their own definition of what a success full

relationship is. There for cohabitation and marriage areeither good or bad it is neutral grounds for

two adults to figure out their future as a marriage or cohabitate couples.


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Works Cited

Fields, Robin. Virginia and Six Other States Still Classify Cohabitation as Illegal. Sullivan-

County.com. 20 Aug 2001. Web.

Finland Changes in marital status and mean age of men and women at first marriage in 2000

2008.Population Structure Statistics of Finland, 2009

Johnson, Sharon. Cohabitation is replacing dating. USA Today17 Jul 2005. Print.

Koegel, Otto E. Common Law Marriage and its Development in the United States. John Byrne

& Company, 1922. Print.

Manning, Wendy D. and Pamela J. Smock. "Measuring and Modeling Cohabitation: New

Perspectives from Qualitative Data."Journal of Marriage and Family.2005: 989-1002.

Print.

Outhwaite, R.B. Clandestine Marriage in England, 1500-1850.London: The Hambledon Press,

1995. Print.

Paul MD, Ron. Protecting Marriage From Judicial Tyranny. Before the House of

Representatives, 22 July 2004. Print.

Probert, Rebecca, Cohabitation: Current Legal Solutions.Current Legal Problems,

Vol.316.Warwick School of Law Research. 2009. Print.

Texas, State of. 2.401 Texas Family Code, Austin 2004. Print.


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United Nations. The Legal Status of Rural Women in nineteen Latin American countries. Food

and Agriculture Organization of The United Nations. Rome. 1994. Print.

United States Census Bureau.Examining American Household Composition: 1990 and 2000.

Census 2000 Special Reports. Washington. U.S. Department of Commerce. Aug 2005.

Print.

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