Devin Sweeney

Rohan

HONR 1700

As I walk back to my dorm with my roommate, I can’t help but marvel at how different

everything has become. Although we walk the same route after lunch each day, we are not the

same people we were at the beginning of the semester. There are physical changes—her hair has

been dyed, I wear new clothes—but the most striking changes are internal. Over the course of

my first semester in college, I have come to understand a little more about myself and the world

around me. My time at UNC Charlotte has definitely allowed me to take a broader look at my

life, and I can see how far I have come in only a few months. For my learning portfolio, I chose

to include my UHP Application Reflection and the six word memoir that I completed in Honors

Colloquium as artifacts. I feel that, out of all the work I’ve completed this semester, these

highlight the growth I have made as a person and a student the most.

A large part of growth is learning, and I have learned a lot this semester. The biggest

lesson that I’ve learned in my first semester is that a little stress can be a good thing. As I

explained in my Application Reflection, school work was not really an area of my life that

caused a lot of problems. I was always able to get good grades easily, and I avoided a lot of

stress. When I got to college, however, I began to feel very stressed about my school work and

my life in general. The main source of my stress was definitely my school work. Specifically,

there was a two-week period in which it felt like I had a million assignments to do all at once. I

had to take three online quizzes, write my UHP Application Reflection, create an extended

inquiry project, and make my six word memoir. If I had managed my time well and did only

what was asked of me, I probably could have made it through those weeks with significantly less

stress. Unfortunately for me, I really enjoy making projects, so I push myself into creating them

when the opportunity arises. Because of this, I chose to make a website for my inquiry project

and a video for my six word memoir. The extended inquiry project was supposed to be an essay

about a topic that we chose to research throughout the semester, but we were given the option to

do the project in an alternate format. I decided to pursue the alternate format of a website, which

put pressure on me to find enough quality information and present it in a way that was visually

appealing. Since I tend to be a perfectionist when working on projects, this aspect of my website

created a lot of extra stress for me. I came across this added stress again when creating my six

word memoir. Instead of just creating a picture, I chose to make an animated video that

represented my feelings in a way that a stationary picture could not. I spent the entirety of the

week we had to finish the project trying to make the video as perfect as possible. These two

projects caused me a lot of anxiety, but I realized that they only stressed me out because I cared

about them. I cared about the work I was handing in, and I wanted to be proud of my work. I

have learned that sometimes a little stress is okay because it means that you care about what you

are doing and want to succeed. With this knowledge, I can recognize that this stress is not meant

to consume me—just point me in the right direction. This new outlook will definitely help me to

keep calm in the face of projects and, hopefully, create good things in the future.

Although I have thoroughly mastered the art of helpful stress, there are some stressful

events from the semester that were not as beneficial to me. In the stress-related part of my six

word memoir project, I included a scribble that was meant to represent anxiety surrounded by

words representing the cause of that anxiety. One of those was the word major. This was meant

to represent my decision to change my major from biology to undecided. This caused me a lot of

trouble, and I wish I could have just come to college as undecided to begin with. I came to

school with the idea that I would get a biology degree on the pre-med track, go to medical

school, and eventually become a medical examiner. This plan was put to an end as soon as I

realized that I do not actually enjoy learning about biology. The hard part, however, was telling

my parents. They are very open and accepting of my choices, but they were shocked by my

decision. My master plan had been in the making for almost three years, so they were completely

caught off guard when I told them. Although my mother really wanted to see me in a STEM job,

my parents both understood that I am the only person that can make this decision. It is important

to make a choice that fits with my “personality, interests, beliefs, and even political views… to

ensure [I am] compatible with [my] major” (Edmonds 7-8). Biology did not fully match up with

these qualities for me. I hope to find a major that will be compatible with me, but I wish that I

had just come in undecided. Although I feel as though this time could have been better spent

finding my new major, I understand that this experience also helped me to grow. As mentioned

in chapter eight of The Resident Assistant, “wrestling with the crisis of a vocational choice forces

students to assess their strengths and to develop the beginnings of a commitment to a particular

vocation” (Blimling 143). This is a part of finding a purpose and, ultimately, growing into a

well-rounded person on the right path through life (Blimling 137-44).

Despite the fact that I understand the importance of my decision, changing majors has

presented me with a huge challenge: potentially transferring schools. I chose to come to UNC

Charlotte because I wanted to be a doctor, and this area is known for its medical schools.

Without that reason, staying at this school may be too much of a financial burden on my family.

My parents have asked me to consider transferring to a school in my home state of New York to

make use of in-state tuition. Much like it is represented in my six word memoir, this idea has

been looming over my head since it was brought to my attention. I was riddled with the pressure

to find a solution to keep everyone happy, and I felt the threat of college applications that I

thought were behind me creep back into my life. For a brief period, it even caused my school

work to deteriorate. The idea of transferring made all of my work seem pointless, and it was a

struggle to find motivation. With the help of my roommate and some friends, I was able to regain

my bearings and get everything back on track. They helped me to realize that I can find success

wherever I am, and, even though I might leave, it shouldn’t stop me from making friends and

getting involved. I was scared to let people be my friend due to fear of hurting them if I leave,

but they all showed me that it was ridiculous to close myself off to potential happiness. I am still

uncertain about where I will be next school year, but I know now that it won’t help anyone if I

keep myself locked away from college life. I have learned that no one’s future is certain, and I

need to get myself engaged in every way possible.

In an attempt to reconnect to Charlotte and get myself involved again, I tried to be

especially active in University Honors Program activities. Community engagement, as I

explained in my UHP Application Reflection, was an important part of my high school career, so

it was wonderful to get to serve a community again. I did not, however, get to do as much for the

community as I would have liked. This is partially due to my potential transfer and partially due

to my position as an out-of-state student. My Application Reflection goes in-depth about the

disconnection I feel from the Charlotte community and how it has manifested in my position as a

scholar citizen. Coming from a place ten hours away from Charlotte, I did not feel like I was able

to thoroughly evaluate the needs of the community and provide the help that was needed. With

the help of the Honors Program, I am trying to rectify this issue. I have already started by

volunteering with a group of UHP members at the Crisis Assistance Ministry. While there, we

were charged with sorting through donations to find what was useable in their “free store.” This

may seem like just menial work, but after seeing the response of the staff, I could tell we were

doing a great thing. While we were there, they told us that a third of their entire operation is

made up of volunteer work (Crisis). Hearing that really made me feel as if my actions were

helping on a larger scale. That feeling was cemented further when we were shown through the

free store because I was able to get a glimpse of the actual result of our work. This experience

made me appreciate all of the great things I have in my life, and it also made my desire to

participate in more service events grow.

Looking back at my volunteer history, both from this year and from high school, I can see

that the majority of my work can be classified as behind the scenes work. I am used to

organizing and planning events, and I am usually in charge of making them run smoothly. I think

this fits well with the big lesson I learned this semester. Despite the stresses, I enjoy taking on

big projects and trying to make them appealing to everyone. During high school, this allowed me

to excel at planning and running the large music festivals that were put on at my school. Nothing,

however, compared to the feeling I got when I knew I had helped someone. It is this feeling that

drives me to do community service, and this feeling might be the key to a whole new level of

service: face-to-face interactions. In order to continue the changes that college is facilitating

within me and explore this potential type of service, I have signed up for the Lunch Buddies

Program at a local elementary school. This will give me a chance to interact with kids and

mentor them. I hope to help the child that I am paired with, and maybe helping him will help me

to get away from my own stresses. College is all about growth, and I plan to use what I’ve

learned so far and the resources that UHP provides me with to continue to grow into the person

I’m meant to be.

Works Cited

Crisis Assistance Ministry. Crisis Assistance Ministry, n.d. Web. 15 Nov. 2015.

Edmonds, Jill Factors Influencing Choice of College Major: What Really Makes a Difference?

MA Thesis. Rowan University, 2012. Web. 15 Nov. 2015.

Blimling, Gregory. The Resident Assistant: Applications and Strategies for Working with

College Students in Residence Halls. 7th ed. N.p.: Kendall Hunt Publishing Co, 2010.

137-44. Web. 30 Nov. 2015.