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Ralph Blundell “Fierce Conversations”

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Raising the subject of justice or highlighting the injustice, takes courage. How do we challenge someone or your organisation without creating conflict and in a way that means you make allies not enemies? A concrete approach to having the most discussions well.

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Page 1: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Ralph Blundell

“Fierce Conversations”

Page 2: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce ConversationsSusan Scott

Page 3: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations

Page 4: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations"A fierce conversation is not me telling you what I think. A fierce conversation is one that is passionate, effective, direct, thought

provoking, intense, powerful, robust, untamed, unbridled. A fierce conversation is one that challenges ideas and builds

relationships."

Page 5: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Name the issue - keep it clear and simple

• Select specific examples, the more recent the better. Offer evidence the other person will recognise.

• Describe your emotions ... "I'm disappointed" etc

• Say what is at stake, for you, the business, the customer. It gives real power to the message.

Page 6: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Name the issue - keep it clear and simple

• Select specific examples, the more recent the better. Offer evidence the other person will recognise.

• Describe your emotions ... "I'm disappointed" etc

• Say what is at stake, for you, the business, the customer. It gives real power to the message.

Page 7: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Name the issue - keep it clear and simple

• Select specific examples, the more recent the better. Offer evidence the other person will recognise.

• Describe your emotions ... "I'm disappointed" etc

• Say what is at stake, for you, the business, the customer. It gives real power to the message.

Page 8: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Name the issue - keep it clear and simple

• Select specific examples, the more recent the better. Offer evidence the other person will recognise.

• Describe your emotions ... "I'm disappointed" etc

• Say what is at stake, for you, the business, the customer. It gives real power to the message.

Page 9: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Name the issue - keep it clear and simple

• Select specific examples, the more recent the better. Offer evidence the other person will recognise.

• Describe your emotions ... "I'm disappointed" etc

• Say what is at stake, for you, the business, the customer. It gives real power to the message.

Page 10: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Name the issue - keep it clear and simple

• Select specific examples, the more recent the better. Offer evidence the other person will recognise.

• Describe your emotions ... "I'm disappointed" etc

• Say what is at stake, for you, the business, the customer. It gives real power to the message.

Page 11: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Identify your contribution to the issue. If none (are

you sure?) omit this step.

• Indicate you want to resolve the issue. You're not looking for a fight or to blame.

• Invite the other person to give their point of view and then listen without interrupting.

• Ask questions for clarification, paraphrase to make sure your really heard their point of view.

Page 12: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Identify your contribution to the issue. If none (are

you sure?) omit this step.

• Indicate you want to resolve the issue. You're not looking for a fight or to blame.

• Invite the other person to give their point of view and then listen without interrupting.

• Ask questions for clarification, paraphrase to make sure your really heard their point of view.

Page 13: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Identify your contribution to the issue. If none (are

you sure?) omit this step.

• Indicate you want to resolve the issue. You're not looking for a fight or to blame.

• Invite the other person to give their point of view and then listen without interrupting.

• Ask questions for clarification, paraphrase to make sure your really heard their point of view.

Page 14: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Identify your contribution to the issue. If none (are

you sure?) omit this step.

• Indicate you want to resolve the issue. You're not looking for a fight or to blame.

• Invite the other person to give their point of view and then listen without interrupting.!

• Ask questions for clarification, paraphrase to make sure your really heard their point of view.

Page 15: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Name the issue - keep it clear and simple

• Select specific examples, the more recent the better. Offer evidence the other person will recognise.

• Describe your emotions ... "I'm disappointed" etc

• Say what is at stake, for you, the business, the customer. It gives real power to the message.

Page 16: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Repeat the previous steps if needed. You want full

understanding of each persons view before moving on.

• What has been learned? Where is the common ground / the differences? Gives you the basis for resolution.

• Agree what each of you will do, and how to hold each other accountable.

Page 17: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Repeat the previous steps if needed. You want full

understanding of each persons view before moving on.

• What has been learned? Where is the common ground / the differences? Gives you the basis for resolution.

• Agree what each of you will do, and how to hold each other accountable.

Page 18: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Fierce Conversations • Repeat the previous steps if needed. You want full

understanding of each persons view before moving on.

• What has been learned? Where is the common ground / the differences? Gives you the basis for resolution.

• Agree what each of you will do, and how to hold each other accountable.

Page 19: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

Victim Behaviour • Determine the root cause by listening.

• Having uncovered the real problem, get them to restate the problem as a goal - "how do I?"

• Get them to brainstorm realistic ideas to overcome the problem.

• Establish an action plan: what,when,how,who?

• Establish accountability by asking "On a scale of 1-10 how committed are you to this action plan?"

Page 20: Fierce conversations ralph_blundell

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