feeling better by examining and changing your thoughts

Feeling Better by Examining and Changing

Your ThoughtsWith Mindfulness

Awareness & Kindness

Wisdom Through the Ages• We are upset not by things, but the view we take

of them.Epictetus (Pre-Socratic Greek)

• There is nothing either good nor bad but thinking makes it so. Shakespere (Hamlet)

• We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts, we make the world. Buddha

Thoughts Shape Emotions & Moods

Thoughts Shape Emotions & Moods

• The way we look at things, our perceptions, mental attitudes & beliefs shape how we feel moment to moment

• The stories we tell ourselves• The way we talk to ourselves• The way we interpret things• Sets up how we feel in the next moment

and beyond

Negative emotions usually come from distorted thoughts

Negative emotions usually come from distorted thoughts

• Sometimes our thoughts are irrational, inaccurate, or exaggerated

• Primitive, archaic forms of thinking left over from childhood developmental process

• Although our thoughts may appear convincing and seem valid, they may not be.

• We often believe our thoughts out of habit– Distortions often unconscious and repetitive

• Emotional turmoil and moodiness is not based on accurate perceptions of reality but distortions

You can change your mind

You can change your mind• You can change the way you think and

look at things• You can change your underlying beliefs

and thought patterns• These will change how you see your self,

your life, others, the world• This will change how you feel, emotions,

moods, outlook, attitude and productivity

STEP 1

Mindful of Distressing Thoughts

STEP 2

Awareness andInquiry

STEP 3

Kind & Rational Response


It’s no use! I don’t have the strength to get through this.

Awareness andInquiry



It’s no use! Idon’t have the strength to get through this.

Awareness andInquiry 1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?

2. How does my body feel?

3. Is this a helpful or harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational?



It’s no use! I don’t have the strength to get through this.




Kind & Rational ResponseWho says you always have to be strong. Sometimes to cry and fall apart is the best thing to do. Then it seems I find an inner strength or higher power.

Mindful of Distressing ThoughtsI’m the one that always takes care of others. I can’t bear needing their help. I’ll handle this myself.

Awareness and Inquiry

Kind &Rational Response


Awareness and Inquiry1. What emotions follow from this way of thinking?








Kind &Rational ResponseIt is scary but maybe now it is my time to receive and be open to the love & compassion of friends and family. (Spiritual lesson, a circle of giving and receiving)

Mindful of Automatic ThoughtsThey say you are supposed to stay positive but I feel awful, angry, helpless, filled with despair, I’m afraid I am making it worse







Kind &Rational ResponseIt’s natural to have strong and negative feelings. I am learning to comfort myself and ask for reassurance from others. I can work with my state of mind and that helps.

Family MemberMindful of Distressing ThoughtsI have to be the strong one. Can’t let him/ her know how I really feel.If I fall apart, that will make it worse for him/ her.






3. Is this a helpful / harmful thought? 4. Exaggerated, irrational?






Kind & Rational ResponseIt’s best to be honest with each other about feelings. Creates more intimacy, and is truly supportive. If I fall apart how do I know it will make her/him feel worse. Maybe consoling me will make her/him feel better.

Family MemberMindful of Distressing ThoughtsI hate this cancer, its ruining our lives and all the things we do together.







Kind & Rational ResponseAnger, rage, hate only make me feel worse and adds to stress for whole family.With accept- ance I can enjoy time we do have. We may not be as active, but time together is very precious.

YOUR TURN

CaregiverMindful of Automatic Thoughts

I should be doing more. I should have done this instead of that. I feel so guilty.

Awareness

1. What emotions follows from this way of thinking?

2. Is this a helpful or harmful thought?

3. Exaggerated, irrational?


I do a lot and need to acknowledge it, rather than “should” myself.I am only human and need to love myself for what I am able to do.

Mindful of Automatic ThoughtsI am so afraid of making the wrong decision.Options are bad or worse.Yet I also hate giving up control to the med system

Awareness




Kind &Rational ResponseIt is hard to choose treatments but my doc has explained things and meeting with other survivors has given me hope and understanding. I can also pray for guidance.

Mindful of Automatic ThoughtsMy health is the most important thing. Without that I am miserable. This whole experience is overwhelmingI can’t take it.

Awareness




Kind &Rational ResponseI am taking it and learning a lot about myself. If I take it one day at a time I feel OK.When I change my perspective I feel so much better.

Mindful of Automatic Thoughts

I did everything right.Diet, exercise,low stress.Why did I get cancer?

Awareness1. What emotion follows from this way of thinking?


3. Is it exagerated or irrational?


Sometimes things are beyond our control. Multiple factors cause cancer. Important thing now…do everything to look after myself, make the most of each moment of this precious life.

Mindful of Automatic ThoughtsHow will my children and spouse cope without me. It will ruin their lives. I feel guilty for abandoning them now, let alone if I die.

Awareness




Kind &Rational ResponseMy guilt is not helping anyone. I have done my best to ensure that the children have a good upbringing. That foundation will serve them well. The time I have is precious, death is part of the journey for us all.

Mindful of Automatic ThoughtsSometimes I am so angry with my spouse for hiding in denial while I cope with this alone. It seems there is nothing I can do but steam.

Awareness




Kind &Rational ResponseI can’t control the reaction of my spouse. I can work with my own thoughts and feelings and learn to ask for what I want directly. If I do, that changes the relationship and that will benefit us both.

Mindful, Aware, Kind & Rational3 Steps1. Mindful of automatic thoughts. Notice them,

don’t hide them. Write them down.2. Aware! Ask self, what emotion follows this

thought? Is this a helpful or harmful thought? Is it Exaggerated, Irrational?

3. Replace with a kind and rational response. Here you can also reach for spiritual wisdom.

feeling better by examining and changing your thoughts

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