FEEDBACK ON SUMMARIES

Good Food? (The Economist) Doing Business (World Bank)

Rules for good summaries ...

... and good professional writing in general...• Intro (source + topic)• Concision• Clarity • Objectivity• Accuracy • Completeness• Coherence and cohesion• Rephrasing

Suggestions for improvements?• We shouldn’t forget that organic food is ...• Although the idea of ethical shopping sounds appealing, it is not

so good in practice.• There are three types of food usually associated with ethical

shopping. The first of them is organic food which is. ...• Instead of that, people should focus their energy on real political

action.• Basically, Fairtrade food is designed to improve poor farmers’

income.• This is neither good nor optimistic.• There are three varieties of ethical food. First, organic food. It is

well known that ...

Suggestions for improvements?• We shouldn’t forget that organic food is ...• Although the idea of ethical shopping sounds appealing, it is not

so good in practice.• There are three types of food usually associated with ethical

shopping. The first of them is organic food which is. ...• Instead of that, people should focus their energy on real political

action.• Basically, Fairtrade food is designed to improve poor farmers’

income.• This is neither good nor optimistic.• There are three varieties of ethical food. First, organic food. It is

well known that ...

More appropriate style• We shouldn’t forget that organic food is ... (should not)• Although the idea of ethical shopping sounds appealing, it is not so good

in practice.(it may not be so good- establish reservation if necessary )• There are three types of food usually associated with ethical shopping.

The first of them is organic food which is. ... (avoid pronouns if possible)• Instead of that, people should focus their energy on real political action.

(Instead of what? e.g. Instead of putting too many hopes in ethical shopping, ... )

• Basically, Fairtrade food is designed to improve poor farmers’ income. (unnecessary word)

• This is neither good nor optimistic. (unnecessary word)• There are three varieties of ethical food. First, organic food. It is well

known that ... (incomplete sentence)

Coherence and cohesion... There are good reasons to doubt the claims about three most

popular varieties of ethical food, i.e. organic, Fairtrade and local food.

• Organic food is made without man-made pesticides and fertilizers and is assumed to be more environmentally-friendly than conventional intensive farming with more chemical inputs. Environmentally-friendly farming, since humans took it up 11,000 years ago, has resulted in massive deforestation. The greater use of fertilizers has tripled grain yields with very little increase in the area of land. Producing the world’s current agricultural output organically would require almost seven times more land.

• Fairtrade food is designed to raise poor farmers’ incomes. The Fairtrade system encourages farmers to produce more of one commodity rather than diversifying into other crops and therefore depresses prices. For most farmers, this leads to the exact opposite of what the initiative intends to do.

• The idea behind local food is that the producer is as close as possible to the consumer in order to minimize food miles and ...

Coherence and cohesion ... There are good reasons to doubt the claims about three most

popular varieties of ethical food, i.e. organic, Fairtrade and local food.

• 1 Organic food is made without man-made pesticides and fertilizers and is assumed to be more environmentally-friendly than conventional intensive farming with more chemical inputs. 2 Environmentally-friendly farming, since humans took it up 11,000 years ago, has resulted in massive deforestation. 3 The greater use of fertilizers has tripled grain yields with very little increase in the area of land. Producing the world’s current agricultural output organically would 4 require almost seven times more land.

• 5 Fairtrade food is designed to raise poor farmers’ incomes. 6 The Fairtrade system encourages farmers to produce more of one commodity rather than diversifying into other crops and therefore depresses prices. For most farmers, this 7 leads to the exact opposite of what the initiative intends to do.

• 8 The idea behind local food is that the producer is as close as possible to the consumer in order to minimize food miles and ...

Coherence and cohesion

... There are good reasons to doubt the claims about three most popular varieties of ethical food, i.e. organic, Fairtrade and local food.

• To start with, organic food is made without man-made pesticides and fertilizers and is assumed to be more environmentally-friendly than conventional intensive farming with more chemical inputs. However, environmentally-friendly farming, since humans took it up 11,000 years ago, has resulted in massive deforestation. On the other hand, the greater use of fertilizers has tripled grain yields with very little increase in the area of land. Producing the world’s current agricultural output organically would therefore require almost seven times more land.

• Furthermore, Fairtrade food is designed to raise poor farmers’ incomes. Yet, the Fairtrade system encourages farmers to produce more of one commodity rather than diversifying into other crops and therefore depresses prices. For most farmers, this thus leads to the exact opposite of what the initiative intends to do.

• Finally, the idea behind local food is that the producer is as close as possible to the consumer in order to minimize food miles and ...

Task accomplishment

• Doing Business – task?• More effort needed in the key element of the

task: one specific indicator applied to Croatia - interpretation required

Task - Writing assignment

• Summarise your findings of one aspect of the Croatian economy

• Proposed structure:e.g. Starting a Business in Croatia (Doing

Business in 2010) 1.Doing Business - general overview2.Selected indicator – overview3.Croatia (2 pgs?)

Remember!• Avoid one-sentence paragraphs• Use connectors where necessary• Avoid contracted forms (shouldn’t → should not)• Avoid incomplete sentences (e.g. First, organic food.)• Clear referencing is necessary (quotation marks and/or source)• Use appropriate titles (e.g. Doing Business in Croatia → Taxation in

Croatia as seen by the Doing Business Report )• Omit unnecessary words (be concise), e.g. This is neither good nor

optimistic.• Establish reservation where necessary• Check if you have accomplished the writing task